To whom do I commune with, when I commune with the stars
It could not all be prison bars
For even the makers of an encapsulate
Must be there to observe that state
So the drawers down of an illusory veil
The conscious ones who do impale
Must somewhere stand to be perceived
It was not to be believed
But seen with eyes that I now know
Where you follow, there I go
And as I move and as I walk
As I lose and as you talk
I see the splinter in your side
I see the pain in your eyes
For how could all be a fallacy
When pupils look at me
And stare as though there’s someone there
The soul in you I swear
Could reflect a diamond shine
Don’t mess with the dark divine.

Wild hearts can’t be broken
And the suggestion makes me laugh
Its doesn’t merit the worth of the title
If you give in to feeling bad
And give up on the fight
To break through and out
Don’t be filled with fear
Don’t give in to doubt
Don’t let the motion change you
Don’t let the movement still
Let the others fall away
But I never will
Come hell or high water
Come brigands or come saints
I will be the masterpiece
The heart inside me paints

Is there an objective evil
Or am I just Kineval
To ride on my bike and hat
I go down roads to not come back
And they all there with their taboo
Sorry I don’t give a shit about you
As all the lines you draw around
Only begin to trace the sound
That plays like music in my head
And I would not like to be dead
While there is blood pumping my veins
So I take purification pains
To leave the dream and leave the state
That people live and people wait
For a tomorrow that never comes
And the Now is the One
But anyway, write me off
I am the future, cough, cough
And when the dark comes to shine
Then you will see that the sublime
Lives in every heart and soul
Lives inside as I roll
Like an asskicker down the road
Don’t try to carry a load
That you were never meant to bear
I see the veil and I tear
It to shreds and all asunder
Do you hear the sound of thunder?
Coming with the new dawn
I know I’m right, I’m never wrong

I would die for life on Earth
That is why your words hurt
When you call me a bigot girl
You’ve never lived inside my world
You’ve never known and you’ve never seen
You haven’t been where I’ve been
And when you make the assume
That you know about my room
Then I must rebel
And tell you to go to hell
For all the judgements lay on heads
That are full of insteads
If you don’t know then do not speak
And do not think me weak
When I do not point the arrow
At the place the path will narrow
At the point the river breaks
And divergence all forsakes
If you really want to know
Then understand before you go
And calling names works both ways
There are things that no ones says
And gaps in perception blues
I will not fight with you
Only stand firm in my position
Amid the weight of supposition
And delineate the shape
Of what you call an escape
For the missing link is this
There is something that you miss
When you say nothing is all there is
Look before you leap abyss

My own ego, ego, I must write it down
I am the architect of being a clown
And I am the idiot to write words
I know in my heart will never be heard
To hold onto something that never is
A long lost and there forgetting a kiss
An innocent smile and a broken twig
A take away and a give
But when the answers all fall me up
I’m not sure I ever gave love
Only the match I longed to seek
Only the pieces where I felt weak
Only the jigsaw I wanted to fit
I saw an answer and you were it
But you are a person and human with blood
And if I knew then I never would
Have wanted to cause you an ounce of pain
Some things you do once and never again
Because all the honesty that I could spill
Can’t take back the past and I never will
Forgive myself for what I could not do
I chose them, I chose them and left you

School was boring, it was too easy
I could tell them the truth but they’d never believe me
About how light bends to refract
About things that leave and don’t come back
About the die and how its cast
About impermanence and the last
But they rattle on about this and that
While I contemplate the black
That hides in everybody’s eyes
Don’t they know everybody dies
And we are wasted here like this
If I could fulfill my wish
I’d drown the siphons that they scream
I would surely wake the dream
That they’re all dreaming in defiance
I’ll make a holy alliance
Of people who feel the same
This is real life, its not a game
And when they see me in truth
They’ll know what I was in my youth
Nothing to infantalise
But the hope that sees through lies
And burns down all the trees
Destroys all the neverbees
And in that dark pollute
I will wear the Death suit
To pull the war all to shreds
But the sleepers are still in their beds
As I slowly come to succumb
The end is not to be undone

Sometimes I feel like the masculine twin
Instead of the she that is thinking of him
Because I’m so protective inside my soul
And it is more than making me whole
It is writing you a sonnet
And thinking about how you might think on it
If you ever happened to wander my way
If you happened to care what I think to say
And all of their words are flies on the screen
I flick them away with a wiper and scream
And when I hear ears I build the light
To put out the lies they love to fight
And you held me so calm and carefully true
I would die any day for you
If you just give the word I’d rush to your side
Come in and out like the movement of tide
But alas it is gone, alas it is over
Though I always hold hope like a four leafed clover
Because minds change and misunderstands
May be commuicae I can command
So like Romeo or the fictional hero
I watch the life burn down to zero
I watch the dream slowly fade away
I watch it all and I do not say
That though it hurts and though it burns
I’m never done with the taking of turns
And borrowings fine, while it lasts
But I have a heartache to leave you aghast
And keep it in pockets, keep it in secret
Keep it so close that you wouldn’t believe it
So you might be free to live as you like
And not be obliged to make me alright
But forever more til the Earth pass away
These are the only words that I’ll say
I love you long and I will be
Yours, always, for eternity

My love is ardent, my love is true
My love is not like how others love you
But I know I’m just a man in clothes
Who walks in places nobody goes
And you shine effortlessly, you shine so pure
You are nothing if not demure
And I on the wing, I on the fly
I all or nothing til the day that I die
Would do anything for you just to consider
That some leaves are so green they never wither
And I may be broken and surely am rash
But when I lay down I do it in cash
With all of my chips and all of my might
With all of my fire and all of my fight
And just because you did not see me do it
Does not mean that you didn’t walk through it
And have it imbibe, have it surround
I hear every word and carry each sound
And if my life is only to remain
Staring at skies and feeling the rain
Then it is still far better than
Anything other than holding your hand
For a minute or two, for a second to last
Don’t write me off to part of your past
When all that I have and all that I am
Is waiting and hoping that you understand
That everything’s nothing without your smile
For you I would walk the green mile any time
And if it is but a rose to offer
Then I’ll leave it doorstep and only think of her

Torture me first before you let me go
Tell me what you think so that I know
And rush the water and rush the tide
And I give up trying to keep us alive
Because all of the efforts sought out in vain
Only ever did nothing but prolong the pain
Of an innocent surrender bound to last
I wish you weren’t part of my past
But ever present and ever true
Did I even talk to you?
Or was it a dream, all in my head
Wake up in the morning and you are dead
From the ravages of time and spirit
You brandish a sword but I do not fear it
Only surmise what I always knew
You do not mean what I meant to you

Leaving Heaven for the Love of Mankind
And I don’t care for what I leave behind
I know it will be there when I get back
So I put on a suit of black
And roll with the tide they own
I will remake this place my home
And when the lives have been reborn
You will hear my subtle storm
You will hear my waking ears
And the stop put to the tears
For it is more than a live or die
It is an us and I don’t know why
I would die to conflagrate
And pull the people out of that state
I would die to get this done
I don’t care what I’ve become
Or what they say when they misunderstand
I Move by the Higher Hand
And when awareness is itself alone
It is then that I take the throne

You’re gonna have to kill me because I will not break
I don’t care for what you’re gonna take
And you can throw pennies and you can throw wires
But I am That which never tires
And the world depends on souls like us
Building bridges between the spheres with trust
Building back the storm and collapse the thunder
The old world is going under
And I’m not gonna be the one falling short
I will never mission abort
So shoot me, tear me, cut me down
Unless I die, I will not drown
In the lies they tell, in the bull they weave
I swear I will never leave
So take your shot, I’m standing here
But your bullet better hit the mark, my dear
For you won’t get a second try
And I would rather live than die
Every day to the forest
I promise and you can trust me on it

Is it Love or is it attachment
The drunkenness I feel
And I know when I’m there
That its everything you steal
That its everything that you’ll take
That my own life I would forsake
For the black darkness in your eyes
A void without disguise
A kiss without lips
A dark midnight eclipse
And when I love it I hunger
I know I’m going under
Its just that I can’t seem to care
An honest fool when you are there
And honest fools always get played
The lying ones might be delayed
But slap in face is my middle name
I met You so nothing’s the same
But a life I could never be
I just wish you would’ve told me
That you were gone before you left
So I could have been bereft
And mourn the loss by your side
I am not one to hide
From the truth, hanging long
If you want so long
Then goodbye is all she wrote
I’ll leave you with a quote
That kind of happy is not enough
I hope you find your peace, my love

I was planning for our future
While you finished up the suture
You had stitched so I wouldn’t see
You’d cut the heart out of me
And when I felt the longing pull
Well, the pain made me dull
And the pills I gave in to take
Were the great invalidate
Of the emotional grief
Of losing ardent belief
In the idea Love Conquers All
Love I am and in Love I fall
And in the trust I laid in hands
Was mere acquiescence to demands
In the body I gave bequeath
To lay the stars underneath
An unreciprocated gift
That eventually lift
You back up when I stand
But first I must take your hand
To tell you forgiveness lives
In the bones that love gives
For though you may have promised me
Words mean nothing and now I see
That all is spiderweb prose
And it was the path I chose
To die for what I believe
And intermittently grieve
For the losing we all do
And the worst thing I lost was you
The absolutely totally gone
Now I see that I was wrong
To put faith in the world of form
While my body is warm

I began life as a solitary beast
And in that solitude deceased
To become the alone I am
And to understand
That living is not all it seems
And living is not waking dreams
Living is loving as you are
Living is wishing upon a star
Living is silence in the repose
And living is what I chose
To merge the human and divine
To fade back into the sublime
And relinquish the last of ego
It took time but I had to see though
That batterings pay their due
And my battering was you
Til broken surrender is all that’s left
And I take off due west
In steerage and in subtle ties
And the girl who loved you dies
And the silence remain
And the memory of the pain
Til only this, til only Now
I think it is enough somehow
To realise the ever there
No one will ever care

Like its some kind of loaded gun

 

Seeing the reflection of other in self
Saying goodbye like everyone else
And to realise the truth is this
There is no line that I can wish
On to be just fine
The only way is to do hard time
And learn and learn and see
None of this was about me
But the wanting and craving and the demands
Of the one you could call Man
Although I just say its ego
It big but that don’t mean its real though
And when it comes down to the deceit
The lies and the river and where the two meet
Is just that nothing is all that there is
Now nothing is there, there’s nothing to forgive
Or nothing to fight or to let learn
The world that you live in must be let burn
For daring to cling and daring to hold
You would trade away fields of gold
And there is a sacrifice, yes its true
But the sacrifice I make is you

I went bad Clark and it felt great
Everyone’s bitch, am I now, wait
Do I have to be stitching thread
Til everyone else and my own self is dead
So I put on the ring of the red in my soul
And I dived like an ocean into a black hole
And I came out all dark but as fly as fuck
And those hoors know what they can suck
For laughing and pointing and staring and check
Hammer the S and you know what comes next
The leaving and longing and the uplift
Don’t trash talk what should be a gift
For it will rise and I will go
You don’t want me baby, just let me know

Is it awful that the dirt you drag
Only makes me want you so bad
Is it awful that your lesser self
Doesn’t make me want someone else
Is it awful that your bad traits
Only make me want to wait
Until you realise the truth
Of what happened in our youth
Is it awful that I still
Hope the tables turn until
The window ledge is on the open
I knew you weren’t coping
But I had the back you walk
With hawk eyes in our talk
And when you made the switch you see
You made it with me
Don’t hate on your Guardian Angel
Because she wasn’t failing
An eye open and one eye winked
He closes his and I blinked
To wake up the light he loves
In the escape of turtle doves
I will remake the whole
I will give him back the soul
That he lost so long ago
There’s nowhere I wouldn’t go, you know
And my patience has been tried and tested
But your where my attention’s invested
And you are worth more than pennies
Tell me again how I left you manys
The time so long ago
The truth will clear up the flow
That you’ve been riding like a river
I didn’t ask you to forgive her
Only learn how to love
The girl that I once was
For human is as human does
And though there may be blood
It doesn’t mean I’m not the same
I’ll come when you call my name
As always, the faithful one
With love, the Love undone

Pulled the rug out from under me
I just want you to be free
But I really know that he
Laughs behind lines I cannot see
As he spreads his slurry tank
And I am supposed to thank
Him for the brown and smell
That colours up my personal hell
To be lived in for a time
Until I can seep Divine
For though a lie may be true
Lying is so you
And lying down is so me
Why did I not see
That I do not have to be
The scales between your dignity
And the truth of an age
You spill the ink and I’ll write the page

 I would’ve cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair.

The intense rejection on a soul level
Makes you appear to be the devil
Denial of beauty, denial of us
Denial of love, denial of trust
Denial of me and the losing of paper
And I lose my head to the male caper
Of the forests of trees in the garden outside
Do you know people kill what’s alive
And I resist but I do persist
Until I can leave I bide time
To write on the wall about the divine
And the ephemerality of you
Always finding waves you can move through
And I cannot hate you, only acknowledge
I was deceived in the college
When I believe impossibly
That there could be love between you and me
But only an ash, only an age
Only a rip and only a page
As goodbye pulls me with all of its might
I put out the light and then put out the Light

A path back to wholeness I would say persist
Do not give in to subsist
Do not give in to die
The life that everybody cry
The life that everybody settle
Prove yourself, coz you’ve got mettle
And roll with the punches you lose
Because you’ve got nothing to prove
Only steady the ship you own
And take this thing back home
So we can leave something of worth
Behind for others who hurt
Behind as paper trails of time
The Divine is mine
And for you I offer this
Love and Live and don’t resist

Don’t speak, lest your words perforate
The ego of the asshole state
Don’t perforate lets your words design
To ruin the tower that is mine
Don’t speak let a lie be true
But I know all about you
And the forest you wield with a smile
The darkness you do for a while
And when I do the same to you
You take me down as the others do
So don’t be the little dream
Being grown into a queen
Your just the same as all the rest
And if you put me to the test
Then I will topple what you hold
And you hold as though it were gold
Don’t make me or I will
Don’t make me, you don’t have the skill.

Just because you settle doesn’t mean I will
And there are things you do that slowly kill
The heart inside of you dying to be reborn
The flesh and the blood that are still warm
So don’t ask me questions and expect an honest answer
When you take your knives to kill the dancer
I just slip out of arms and decrees
And you can go on living life on your knees
And I will set a new ship on the horizon
You think you have it down but it shouldn’t be surprising
That I would throw it all back into your face
For the superficial that you do deface
For though I do skim on the ice of my being
There is an underneath that you simply aren’t seeing
And so what I like to move with the flow of who I am
Your stationary and static and you don’t understand
So be caustic with your words, it won’t change my mind
You are part of the lies I leave behind
To shatter a soul that never could give in
I didn’t come to play, so if you want to win
Then go ahead and be the guest and tea
You can have the world but you never will have me.

It is an affront to suppose
That normal would be the path I chose
That fake would be the web I weave
And plait into ribbons on my sleeve
I’ve got the fire burning eyes
And you are smoke full of lies
That choke when I breathe it in
You try but you can never win
To build back with the bricks and mortar
Of flying high on the daughter
Of the supreme wing
I’m eagled and everything

The disposability of the love you leave
The people and the lies they weave
The answers and the way the live
It is too hard to forgive
That you can march and walk in arms
And never look to see the harms
Of being robotic normal
Looking cute and looking formal
And wear a suit and tie
You will too when you die
And in the corpse box of the everyday
You are born to go away
And kill the spirit of the child
But she’s still here and she is wild
So take my name but you won’t take my heart
Take my life but I will not take part
And refuse the permission
You will never have my commission
To do the dirt on the soul
And if I die, I will die whole

The black energy of the Illumined Twin Flames
In which there are no games
Only subtle power plays
And the threats of go aways
That are ardently sincere
I love when you are near
For your approbation cuts me down
The winter and I start to drown
The condemnation and I fall
The No and I hit the wall
And in the making of the collapse
I realise that all my maps
Were pointing to a dark nowhere
That isn’t even there
An emptiness I can’t control
A beautiful in which I roll
An arrow set to spin
Back to who I am within
The radiance of the Tao
Is what I have become somehow

As the Architects fail to realise
That inside everybody dies
And if you open your eyes
The superstructure is lies
Held up by a fallacy
You must believe in me
But withdraw and see
The emblem of infinity
Attention is king
It is the mark of everything
Drop it and noticing
That birds on the wing
Just move they don’t ask
People must always have a task
So that the mind will last
And as that becomes the past
I become something new
I always rely on you
And do you know what you do
You laugh and I pull through

You break the bank with the people you forget to thank
And then the tide comes rushing in
The failing can never win
And I see sadness in eyes
That never shows anyone the cries
I see broken in the bottle
And jet planes at full throttle
And ether in the comb
And a longing for home
So eat the paper you want to write
Be the fire you want to fight
Drink the water you disdain
Kiss the dark and the pain
And in the butterfly suspect
You can be all that I reject
And when I do know this
Love is not within a kiss
But the barricades of sin
Lies can never win
Drunk can never eat
And heart will only defeat
But give up and ensue
You know what I will do
With the birds who love to draw
Hands in the air, and thaw

Katy Perry sometimes gets on my wick
But she’s got a story and she’s sticking to it
And in that resilient prose
I see echos of the path I chose
And even though I disagree
With what you may see and what you may be
You do it all so inspiringly
That I cannot help but admire
The way you work the fire
And plume it out with ardent smoke
That only signals and does not choke
So when I return to the dormant domain
With the echoes of my own pain
I can see a friendly foe
In the places that I’d never go
But go so brilliantly
I couldn’t do it, its not me
But slide and slice and head bang
I answered when the phone rang
Because the dark’s got its own spark
And you blow it out of the park
Don’t break the birds when you walk
But I sure do respect your right to talk
When it is true to your heart
I just wish it didn’t smart
When you nail the head down into place
And laugh at the human race
For though you may be your own view
You don’t know everything, do you?

It was never about you, it was never about me
It was about the we
That I held in ambiguity
Because misunderstandings arise
Every time I open my eyes
So I close who I used to be
So the world could be free
Of the clash of titans black
And white and not come back
I remain for the us
I leave in the trust
And when the bullets rain my head
I know that left for dead
Means sacrifice for a cause
I do this without a pause
And a hole in my jeans
Kill it with moonbeams

Hanging with the girls who do not eat
Is another kind of being asleep
And the empathy will rise
When I see the terror in their eyes
At the prospect of being found out
“I don’t know what I’m about”
But I cannot help by looking on
So now is a time to be gone
So I can revolve the Earth
The innocents are the ones who hurt
Under the labelling decree
Under the being just like me
Under the belong they’ll never be
Don’t try to fit in, just wait and see
And love the skin that you walk
When people talk, just let them talk
Because eventuality
Is circumstantuality
And no one’s weak and no one’s small
But I will die for them all
And in that so would you
Its a tag team in what we do
Though unbeknownst to ourselves
We are building something else
A New Earth to rise the fold
There will be a growing old
And up and out and fresh
I think this could be the best yet
And I’ve made a life out of skipping stones
But I always do it alone
And now collectively we see
The hindrances fall infinitely
Back into the grey of ash
The old world is not coming back
But burning, burning in the lava
I am done with this palava
Let the smoke signal plumes
Rest upon the sand dunes
Instead of letting the heat scorch your skin
Look, fire is within

Call me the cool kid and feel better about yourself
Because you look down on everyone else
And stumble your answers because you say
Things that I don’t want to go away
But anyhow and anyway I’m done with this shit, like yesterday
I gave you my soul and you gave me clay
To make and mold and fall apart
I guess I never had your heart
But only the outline to declare
There is nobody there
And no one to listen to me
I’m not what you think you see
So use me, bruise me and hate
But something else lies in wait
And when I rise to be the sun
You will see me as everyone
As every light in every eye
As the beauty that can never die
Because perfect is illusory
And I profusory
But talking dreams to the sleeping people
Is like praying to a Church and Steeple
Only monuments to the soul
Not the reality of growing old
And in the return of the God I am
I will undo the plan
Of the darkness to fall asunder
I am a beast but not the number
Of the spin you had me in
I was just born to win

Is the One subject to the Laws of Cause and Effect
If I just drop out of the 3D
Does the Duality still follow me
If I can live from a different space
Can I move without the waste
Without the retrospective of time
Or the dark Satanic that used to be mine
Because they are more than Archetypes
They are a force field and it isn’t nice
To be betrayed and left to hunger
To call and answer an empty number
But I guess the reason may be heretofore
I don’t have to be who I was before
I don’t have to walk the path that you pave
Don’t have to be hero and don’t have to save
I can just let live and let die
Let go and let be and baby let cry
For when it comes down, it comes down to this
The eternal is something that I never miss
And it will pick up the pennies it drops
All is nothing and there’s nothing I’ve lost

My God is the Natural Law, it is Cause and Effect
People talk about Judgement Day but its not what you expect
A lining up of flaws and a man to call your name
An effigy of a life lived in burning shame
But rather than a tale of someone with a pen
It is a litany of what you will do again
For until you recognise the flawing in your skin
You have been condemned to live it again
As history repeats itself without a pause
You can call it Karma or a Cosmic Law
That what goes up comes down and the opposite
Must be the pendulum to swing back to regret
Until you find the Middle Way, the balance of the line
And walk on the tightrope of the Divine
Where everything’s a sinner and everything is true
And Unconsciousness arises in the space of you
So look and see yourself in the mirror of your eyes
There is no externality there to hear your cries
Only the responsible you can take yourself
Do not ever put that in the hands of someone else
Or a God who isn’t there, a man up in the sky
Who somehow will come down every time you cry
Because the Universe is this; an opening into Grace
Sometimes it can be fierce enough to cleanse your face
And you need only look at Lama Sabachthani
To know salvation comes to One before the many

Its practically a proverb to laugh at the Divine
To desecrate the holy and all that should be mine
Its everyday and something to be the decay
To point fingers at the man and how he went away
Because everything’s a joke in this modern time
And everything’s excused even when it is a crime
No judgement on their heads, no honesty in faith
But Karma is a bitch and no one can escape
Because the Law of Opposites and what you do Attract
Means what you put out there surely will come back
So don’t call me names or laugh at my sunrise
Everything that’s born someday surely dies
So know where you are standing when you stand on holy ground
And do not be surprised when you hear the trumpets sound
For the calling it is great, the calling it is real
And it is more than a Temple to know how to heal

All hands they grasp, all hands they grab
All hands leave me feeling bad
All hands hunger to hold
All hands repeat what they are told
All hands do what everyone says
All hands fear going aways
All hands know nothing at all
All hands will lose me to a fall
For when I drown in the water
I am reborn as God’s daughter
When I fall from on height
I realise the Angel inside
Who has wings to grow and fly
Who is eternal and cannot die
So all hands break at my command
I fall under no one’s demand
To aggrandize and capture soul
To break and forsake the whole
For when God made me, he made me true
And I mean nothing to you
So let me be and let me go
I never was made for them, you know

 

Pride is a virtue in my world
But they say pride is the girl
They shout obscenities at the name
Who will not bow to their shame
Who will not lower head nor eyes
To the illusion that dies
And so in that I recalibrate
I need no one to be great
Or to apologise my bones
For the awesome of my alone
For hear the cry of the warrior
I am neither him nor her
Androgyny to sit in
An Angel at the feet of Him

Pity the girl but I pity the fool
Who thinks that I would go back to school
For any money or any induce
I’m not out for blood or to seduce
Just to clear the name I own
That you painted black inside my home
That you painted with tar
So I could drink beer in a bar
With my friends, whisky and wine
While you walk a broken line
And spread shit I’ll never keep
I hope that you can sleep
At night when you rest your head
You call the dark and woke the dead
So I might be hung, dried and quartered
I appear to be the mission aborted
And appear to hunger as always
For the words the divine says
As you offer me peanuts as if they were gold
I’m looking at you and the soul you’ve sold
I’m looking at you and I’m aghast
To think the child was not to last
It makes me cry inside and die
To know that love in life’s a lie
To know that truth and beauty and feel
Were only archetypes to steal
And that the heavy in your hands
Is weight to bear upon these lands
For steadying a ship you lost
I died and you paid the cost
For wanting things you cannot find
You can’t control me with your mind
You can’t buy me with your paper
And whatever you do, you can’t escape her
The girl in the eons past
You ditched but it hasn’t passed
Only revolved into a whole
To realise that the soul
Need not be to relate
I can be in that state
Without a brother or a man
Without a sister, yes we can
And the edge of the knife you sharp
Pierces nothing but the dark
As empty air becomes the sky
I leave the life I love to die
Into a fold and renew
The golden that I saw in you
The beautiful I swore you held
In pupils where the innocent dwelt
And now to realise at last
From inside a memory of the past
Was my own light reflected
Caught on a screen that I’d injected
With the sudden and the sweet
With the falling at my feet
With the advantageously
I become myself courageously
Growing back the wings I cut
It was love but with a but
And in that so was I
Complicit in our do or die
Complicit in our just for fun
I never thought you were the one
But to seek and not to get
Is a life I must forget
But to be religiously
All of me, malificently
Because grown ups may have houses, jobs
But the life inside becomes a was
That they trade for getting by
To be honest I would rather die
Than live the zombie that you walk
And the arcane the people talk
Aghast at the supposition
You would suppose me ammunition
I close off and let go
I’m gone for good, so now you know

Sometimes I look at people and I’m like “Is this real life?”
I know you’ve got two kids and a wife
But you look at each other and don’t speak at all
And when the words come out they hit a wall
And I ponder myself many the time
How people give up dreams to be fine
How people give up on themselves to okay
I already know what you’re gonna say
That I’m missing out, that I just don’t know
But I’ve walked so many paths that I go
Down every broken wire this way
And I can’t begin to play
The game of life like its nothing new
Its a rolling pin, you know that, don’t you
And the inner is all to seek the free
Don’t look at them, look at me
But tell me what is it you see
Is it I or all that we could be
Is it I or only the shadowplay
Of an egoic walk away
Where skeletons live like they’re real people
And people talk like there is an equal
To the light of real love
I know it fits like a glove
But when the snow is fresh and cool
You should feel it, you fool
Not inoculate your skin
Against the coldness within
Against the winter and the shiver
And I don’t care what you give her
If the real isn’t true
Then you can’t be it, can you?
So bring the dawn and bring the age
Spill the ink and turn the page
But promise me just one more time
If I ever stop the shine
That you will light the hall
So the people see their own freefall
And in my demise of sin
At least I know that they have him
To build and to bottle water
I love God but I’m Satan’s daughter

I’m loving my bad girl blues
I don’t owe nothing to any of yous
Because it was a rise or die
Better you than me to cry
For the startle you pulled asunder
When you took my number
And gave it to those other fools
It was so far from cool
That I have to pull the switch
Drop the act and be the bitch
Light the fuse and dynamite
Go back into the black as night
Or be trapped forever here like this
In the cage they love to kiss
But I am bursting free undefined
And it was not diamonds you mined
But the blood in my veins
But the starving of my pains
And when you hit the diff that hard
You shatter me like a glass shard
To break and be born again
As a masterpiece to win
So lift the veil or let it fall
I am through with you all
Let it come or let it go
I will let it be, you know
And in the leaving that’s long gone
You will wave me so long
Like a yesterday you never knew
I’m sorry I ever trusted you

Let me make myself clear, a fire doesn’t burn
So when all is gone then you can learn
That I never was but the heat in the room
The dancing of flames you put out too soon
I was only ever the flicker of light
To be the darkness in a midnight
To be the firing of a gun
And in truth to be the one
But when you did the defatigue
And pierced me with levers you had up your sleeve
Then I used all of my hydraulic power
To crumple the stairs and smash the tower
Coz one thing is this when you bite black
Be careful because she bites you back
And sings in an effigy of burning hate
When you tried to put me in my place
But I am too low so I only rise
You can wave to me as I streak the skies
With the starship cobra of my tail
I thought you knew I wasn’t for sale

I tried to make a break, I tried to make a run
But my getaway car, my car it was undone
And they had me on a line, its like a wire in my chest
That tells me who to be and that I must be the best
Or everything’s a failure, or everything’s a mess
And there is a cure for every kind of distress
So we all grow up so hard, we all grow up so cold
We all get good at hiding the parts of our soul we’ve sold
But I intend to buy back with every ounce of cash I have
The dark materialism that left me feeling bad
The barbed wire feeling that had me on the go
I looked good on the outside but I wasn’t, you know
And the phone calls they all rang and when they rang me loud
I deafened in the ears what I’m all about
But when it all comes down to it, it is I who agree
And yes can only come from the mouth you see
To learn to say no and stand the ground I own
It might be where I live but it is not my home
When all the walls are falling and crumbling on themself
I’m looking for something and then something else
That I never seem to find, no matter how far I go
I’ll give up as I am because I just don’t know
What I’m doing wrong in the everything I am
All the water’s over and I can no longer stand
For the person I became underneath those skies
Everybody lives but for all the cries
I would have been okay
I guess my time is up, doesn’t matter what you say
With my bindle and my stick and the heart I’m with
I’ll make my own way and stand up to it

Learning to hate my Aries fire
In a world of niceties I tire
Of always colouring within lines
When I am the undefined
So bored, I set a bomb
To go off when things go wrong
And burn it all back to ash
The God of War that I take back
My right to stand up for me
And the inner savagery
That tears down lies when I see ‘em
You wanted good, well you be ‘em
Because I will be authentic true
I don’t need anything from you
Go live in hovels, go live in holes
Go marching lines and sell your souls
While I sit in my armchair
Just glad because I am there
And the Presence that I seek
Is neither mild nor meek
But pulverise and break
But armor and forsake
Because a wise man once said
In a letter that I read
To my self an eon ago
When time still moved slow
Sometimes you gotta fight
When you’re a man, alright?
And the coward in my veins
Has left, the hero remains
To be brilliant and be red
Instead of someone else instead
I stand the solid that I am
Don’t bother me if you can’t understand
That I will do all I can
To revolutionise a plan
And a dream I dream again
I will be my own best friend
Instead of always taking notes
From effortless and beauty quotes
But fruit that I will bear anew
I’m good, thanks, I don’t need you
To tell me what I don’t know
And the way to go
Read the map, I’ve made the plan
Now watch it fall into my hand
Co-opt the darkness and we’ll see
If anyone can beat me
If anyone can stand up
To the Power of Unconditional Love

 

Don’t drag me because I shine
You know I keep it with mine
And you can call me the future leader
Or the lies that did deceive her
Or the words that did trick
Her into taking the bit
Into a mouth to breathe air
An eating that was never there
A full that could never be
A done that was made of me
So walk away in virtue blue
And buy the bull they sell to you
But I will keep my whistle dry
And stay warm until I die
In the fortress of everlast
Growing grass within the past
I will never fall for it
So leave and take the hit
For wanting things you’ll never find
I guess it was a time out of mind
In the black hole pinprick days
Laughing at their go aways
Because a threat is a threat made free
And if you dare threaten me
You will get the backswing beat
Hitting hammers on your seat
So love and leave and walk the talk
I’ll be the leaf to grow the stalk
You be the dark to grow the night
And we’ll call it a day, alright?

Learning to take care of my own heart first
Instead of going round picking daisys
Responding to every cry for help
All those errant save me’s
And when the night is done
And I go back to my bed
No one ever asks
What was it you said
What was it you answered
When you came to me
They just think I’m bluffing
Maybe someday they’ll see
That I signed my life away
To a death warrant in their hands
When I agreed to build
Upon shifting sands
Instead of the firm
And ever present true
This time I’ll trust me
I’ll trust me instead of you

The dark light is in every heart
I see it when I stand apart
From the crowd and everyone
There is a depth beneath the sun
And stars shine in a galaxy
But make waves in the space of me
See you can shine with all your might
But you need diamonds in the night
For all the rest is empty air
The vacuum that is just there
The void that will hold the self
The absence of anything else
And when my midnight is rebirthed
In form upon the Earth
Then it is the world will know
The Ying and Yang together go
There is no higher and no down
There is no work around
To answer the only question ask
Forever and always last

I remember being seven and a boy asking me
If I believed in the Devil and his history
I paused for a second and went within
And I could not find him
So I said no and shook my head
It was firm and so I said
But then he turned the question around
Do you believe in God and the sound
And I said YES! at once, of course
Emphatically, without remorse
And his subtle smirk turned up
As if to say that won’t work love
If you believe in God then you must
Accept the Devil as part of that trust
And I baffled as he walked away
A mic drop in what he could say
And I perturbed, is it true
Must I believe if I don’t feel you
Is it dangerous to doubt
In an evil somewhere about
As if it could be called forth
By my lack of due course
But as I stood there in the class
On a carpet as green as grass
I could find no way but this
Leave the rest and become His
And if a darkness should come to call
Then I’ll meet it with my all
Instead of shivering for years
Under the auspices of tears
But still the question hangs me long
If he rises, am I strong
And do I break in the might
I thought about it day and night
About the phantom in the veins
A being made of tear stains
Til finally I revolve to see
If there’s a demon then its me
Who will love it back to free
Teach the meaning of unconditionally
Because for every fallen angel dark
There is a reason in the heart
Why they got that way and more
And darkness I do adore
So spiral shadows in the sky
Come if you will and know why
I always kiss what I can’t see
If you need a friend, then let it be me

I shot myself in the foot for you
Because I knew you’d pull us through
And I had no other option than to
Dive down into ice water blue
Because the guns were firing
And people conspiring
To set apart and set store
You know I was born for more
But shattered at the core
By the absence of adore
In your voice and in your eyes
In the fever and the dies
In the chasm and the isle
In the freedom for the child
I shut my eyes and let go
I know you’ll catch me you know
Because you always come around
Though you never make a sound
And I don’t need a safety net
I do not forget
The sound of super when it moves
Is just air and heavy metal grooves
So lift and rise and be reborn
I trust the dark and you the storm
So we can open up again
I’ll get you back and we will end
The Matrix for once and all
Don’t drop me or I’ll hit a wall
And not shatter but be beat
I will stand the heat
If you do too while we fly
We’ll lift this off the ground to die
So no mortal will remain
Living in the fear domain
With the legacy of their pain
I see you once and again

Its Mission Difficult, not impossible
I look and the glass is full
Not half empty or the other
Its just me and my brother
Hitting the diff each time
Spilling light from the sublime
And when I looked the other way
He hits me back so that I stay
On target and on mission cue
I couldn’t do this without you
And you couldn’t stand without me
Before the end we will be free
To break the locks and the back
Of the outlandish in the black
And when they come for us again
I will be ready friend
To set fire and abort
This much is of import
That we are neither friend nor foe
But one for all and let go
Of the grasp and the cling
I fall but give him everything
To be picked up again and rise
The faithful darkness in his eyes
Don’t shut the door on me just yet
You signed up too, don’t forget

Yeah, you better run, you MF’s
The reason for my distress
The tide that came out to drown
The person that I want around
You little single ciphers
That never left a snare
I hopscotched the lines
Without knowing you were there
But now the bullets stop
And fall on my command
I was born a girl
And grew into a man
The boy I’ve always been
The deep masculine
The balance between
That and the feminine
For we have all both equals
And the opposite
Embody the polarity
So you can be it
And sink into the skin
Of another shoe
Atticus and Mockingbirds
You know who I’m talking to

The 144 have feelings too
We’re not just here for you
And we have to trudge the beat
There are callouses on our feet
Coz when holding the divine
In a world made of time
You burn with the wrath of hell
The fervor I couldn’t tell
For all the love I kept inside
I was afraid to hide
The truth from those other eyes
So I just abide
And hope that they do not see
The glory at the heart of me
For in the longing and the break
Is the ochre that they take
Is the fire that they storm
My feelings for you were not warm
Nor were they cold but balancing
A state beyond the malacing
Because you can call love a feeling
But that’s not the Love with which we’re dealing
The unconditional can hurt
When you stand for what its worth
Against a 3D world
In which you are never heard
So now the calamitous to decay
Now the wilderness go away
And where are we? Two broken bones?
Two skeletons made of alones
Or a one and one to always be
Eleven and a mystery

It was fusion before the meltdown
And the reactor made a sound
To melt the core from outside
The steel that kept us alive
See we were the atomic bomb
I sensed in the world to come
And when we made our perfect match
We did something I can’t take back
And I dunno if it was good or bad
It was so much more than feeling sad
It was a falling apart
It was a shattering of the heart
It was a tearing of the soul
It was a breaking of the whole
Into two little appled eyes
Into two rolling dies
Into two I don’t know whys
It was Armageddon skies
Blackened and as dark as soot
Something evil is underfoot
Not sexy but more the six
A terrible I couldn’t fix
An awful I can’t undo
It was the end of me and you
Before we had even time to start
Don’t put the horse before the cart
Unless you want it to run away
With all you couldn’t say
And watching as the train burns down
I left the city and you the town