While you were headbanging I was at the swell season Contemplating a love beyond reason And your war became my oxygen As I struggled not to see it again But every time I look it is there Love doesn't know how not to care So ask the tap to turn itself off I am the beauty you are afraid of
Conspiracy theory
Do the people fear me
Just because I spilt the milk
All over the finest silk
And they locked me up
For want of love
And I tried to elucidate
But they just put it down to fate
And that I must be here
Ambiguous as was the fear
As that guy who admitted me
He said here's the place you're meant to be
And I gotta say I spun the dial
And I must have walked a mile
Up and down the hall
Facing the bouncing ball
That seemed to hop between the frames
And I go by many names
Coz I contain multitudes
And I have loved several dudes
In the guise of the One
Always seeing the only Son
Of the Lord that rules
And I break the ones I learned in schools
Coz I could never quite find myself quiet
When I internally riot
Against the shirt and tie
And the fact that people die
When you're not really looking there
And what do you do with all of your care
But cry or hold it in
Suppress the wilderness within
That has you seeing the open expanse
Where the souls go to dance
When they exit this scene
I wonder if it's just a dream
To think that when we leave
There could be something in which to believe
Coz I was told the story
But parts of it simply bore me
And other parts terrify
But the one called by the Word doesn't lie
And it's made real in the way that he walks
He doesn't need to pretend when he talks
Coz he's the living, breathing Reality
And when I let it go he found me
Right there on the floor
He's the man that I adore
And he was there all along
Footprints in the sand and I belong
On the beach once more
Just another fallaway floor
To face with stern forgiving
And is to float just living
Coz I feel the open air
Blowing back my long hair
As I learn to trust the breeze
And be okay when people leave
This earthly plane
But I wouldn't do it again
I know it’s unseemly As I dreamily Write your name next to mine As if it would be fine Just to intrude on your space And leave a toothbrush at your place And I’ve lost the appetite for game But I love you all the same If you’d let me near Coz, darling, I hold you dear Like I said on the phone Though maybe I’m better off alone In my cavern of perfect pictures Lines I draw and the strictures All bend for you Like an architect that gives gravity its due It’s all down to the magnetism of you As you bend metal like rope And you change me like hope In something I can’t describe And I hope you’re still alive Coz I haven’t checked in in so long And I’ve learned that the flesh doesn’t last long Bodies come and bodies go But eternity shines through the show Into this dimension as light And I could see you illuminate the night With your perfect stare You say I don’t care But that’s not true I am heart and soul in you Beating to the same refrain That slowly dismantles the pain Til the bricks and mortar that made it up Dissolves into absolute love There is no baddie in this equation Just another iteration Of life seeking solace in its source My love, my dear, you are my chosen course
I crashed into my thirties Got tired of the winks and the flirty flirties And I’m still in love with John Mayer And I dunno if he’s a player But there is an imperishable draw To the way he makes my ice thaw With how he picks his guitar And maybe he called me a star Or maybe it was psychosis spinning I hope I’m not “bi-winning” Coz the storm came and ate me And I dared people to date me The sledgehammer played its role But it can’t smash my soul There is something beyond the realm of karma And I really don’t want to arm ya With weapons of ill repute So I just call you a flute And continue to sing a tune From the halls of my room That I have in my parents house The queen of kings or a grand mouse That runs amok everywhere you are Would you wanna drive in my car?
Your eyes are like the ark The creatures enter two feet apart And I make sure to keep away from you Because I think you don’t love me too But maybe you do And I’m out on a limb, I guess, it’s true And we fought and we shouted and I hit you back But you’ll always be my favorite almanac And I’m still knocking on your door You answer me and ask for more And we kiss on the step Because she doesn’t know yet But you’re gonna tell her or I will I’m not waiting forever until We can make it two by two And you’ve got a different look, do you Still feel the same And I always hide your name Coz I don’t want to lay the blame For what we were Or give you an excuse to fight with her But it’ll be okay Coz at the end of the day The love will keep everything okay And somehow in the midnight I excuse myself For playing cards that have already been dealt And one is mine and I fold I don’t abscond the way you bold
We’re all interconnected It’s metta here And will anyone know How I hold them dear Coz I think back Over days in Dublin Caroline and that girl That was troubling But can I wish her well Though she made life hell Slamming the door of the press Who does she think she address With an anger that just escapes From her form and I see shapes Making themselves crystal clear The demented and it came near Close enough to see a ghost In place of a man I love the most And back then he was just a boy And I a girl and power ploy Laughing into the storm or rain Asking Sam to play it again As we dance at Oxegen Now I’m all eyes for Fin And you told a tale of fear and woe But I said I’ve got to go Coz you wanna wife with child And I’ve long hair and am wild Running with the wolves like Belle But you know I gotta tell You were an incredible sort of awesome I’m running this creek like a wee gosoon And it’s been twenty years or so She lets me know I’ve gotta let go Coz she’s so rooted in the earth And I can’t pretend it didn’t hurt When she turned her face away And there’s nothing I can really say Except I’m crying in the bathroom, wipe the streaks away And we’re both freaks so what is there to say Except that you roll with the punch And sit alone at lunch Only for Ruth and Christine To come over coz they have seen Me adjacent at the fold And I am young but, man, I’m old And pretty soon I’ll be trickling down Like a stream onto solid ground Beside the waterfall of you I love it, red and blue
I can feel you Hairs breadth close And I’ve fought to find Love and God knows That’s not the way It’s not just what you say It’s what you are And I drive a nifty car But it can’t drive me to the stars I never meant to break your heart As I stumble into your arms I dream of us growing old on farms With our children around us like the bough of a tree Covered in leaves of dignity As we flourish and hold the space Of all we thought to create With our love It fits like a glove And telepathy Is someone just talking to me Like a radio wave chime Signaling the intro to a new time
I run from the feds
There's something about wilderness
And the skin that it sheds
And I can't deny
The impenetrable draw
Of a long ago love
The kind they outlaw
As you sneak a glance
In my direction
There's something about trust
And its defection
From the old regime
They can't control
The way that I dream
And I'm just spinning thread
From the spools in my head
It's nothing too dark
(Although there is some dread)
In the machinations
We grow from
It arose in a moment
And then it was gone
It’s all too easy to go back to you You sing the thing with a rhythm and blue And you shine like Cassiopeia in the night sky You engender love even when you don’t try And I would never want to see you suffer I’m sure you really did love her It’s just you played the tune for me as well Walked with me when I couldn’t tell Which way was up and which way was down In the years I lived in that big old town And tried to find clarity in each refrain I found you like relief from the pain
I loved you and you walked away But, hey baby, I’ve got something left to say And do I spell it out like vertigo I’ll paint a picture so you will know And you may be far away But I wake with you every day As the sun kisses my forehead and just shines And I think of you ten thousand times In a single hour And, my God, the power Of all that you mean to me I pray that you see But even if you don’t I won’t Give up, ever true Here is my love for you
I can’t escape the panther that stalks my steps Living in the land of no regrets And he chases me down Marveling in a beautiful gown At all I’m wont to wear But I feel a little tear In the fabric come undone And he’s like the night to my sun As he sings of things he knows not of Causing confusion and calling it love As his longing brings him to the brink Like I was starling being urged to think Then suddenly fallen from the sky I wake up after I die In a land I didn’t choose It’s like walking in a new pair of shoes
Is it too much to wish Is it too much to hope for That I could bang On a closed door Coz I know you’re in there And I chase you down You’re staying in your place Just outside of town And I want you For my very own Tell me for real That you’re not on loan From the days of tomorrow I’m not one to borrow But if you’re there I’ll wipe away sorrow From the cheeks of your face That you’ve cried in the past My love isn’t temporary It’s made to last And my heart is calling Out to your hand We can dance It will be grand As you get up Off of the floor In all of the years I just love you more
It seems I’ve gone this long without understanding her There are oak trees and Douglas fir Growing up between the spaces that we left I look at her and it’s all theft It’s all subterfuge and cavalcade But, my God, she’ll never age Only remain the eternal we are Light years away from the closest star
She writes music that catches in your soul As if all the waves have to do is roll And midnight comes before each dawn So don’t lament what’s gone Because it will come around again anew You can’t miss what is destined for you And I hope that’s true coz he’s all I see What if he was never meant for me I wonder and I pause and I flip through the prose What if he is the one that fate chose To hold my hand and be the One I see him like he’s the Son Of God in garden grass And I wonder if all I had to do was ask Would you maybe wanna be my guy I know I’m quiet and I didn’t try But do you think you could take a look And read me like your favorite book And it’s fine if you don’t know my name I’m gonna love you all the same And wish you the wealth of wisdom and heart I never thought we’d be so long apart
I keep it all on lock But I can never be what I am not I click my tongue I’m impervious and I am young Til the facade cracks And I’m all lost in I can’t have you backs As the days age And I spill ink upon a page Or burn a little sage Oh, to demonstrate what I feel is true Lost in a dream of me and you Or us and them I run the film clip all over again When I stride through halls Now I renovate and knock down walls Do you love me true Coz I found myself with all of you And I can let the refrain Cancel out the years of pain Why do I hold on To what is already gone And deny what’s here The water in the lake is crystal clear As it reflects the sky Why in the world must everything die Only to be reborn I was the earth outside of the storm The solid ground As the wind twists the air into sound It reverberates Like a glacier that equates Ice with movement, don’t you know But there are places it can’t go As it meets the sea I’m more than what appears of me
The cosmic mind
Knows what it's doing
It points out dreams
That are worth pursuing
And I'm so lost
In the creases and folds
But it breaks a sunrise
Across the sky it holds
And the horizon
Is burning red
Til I can't remember
Where I've been led
Out into the warmth
Of a new day
I'm trusting in it
Anyway
What is the impact
Of my unemployment
Could I more than say
I don't know where the ploy went
Coz I've up and grown
And true colours have shown
But I still say
I don't know where I'm going
Does a river when it's moving
Imagine the sea
It's like a premature
Deciding who to be
As an oak grows upwards
From a single seed
And there are things
That we all need
From the sky to the sun
To the rain in the clouds
How many human beings
Can say that they're proud
Of the life that they're living
Of who they are
The atoms inside us
Were forged within a star
So know this once
And know it forever
You are the beauty
The cosmos will treasure
Every day of your life
In the depths of your soul
Don't stop at okay
Go ahead and be whole
The sound of Taylor
Brewing up a storm
The heat could keep
The whole world warm
As she sings
To her own refrain
Growing up
And out of the pain
Into something
Afresh and anew
I guess that I
Believe in you
It's not that easy
All this having to let you go
I didn't think
I'd have to do it, you know
I thought we could
Go on forever
But now every endeavour
Speaks of you
As you go on with your life
And ardent devotion over strife
Seems to capture my days
And there are so many ways
To miss what we had
And to regret
What turned out bad
Could you forgive
If I live and let live
And consent
To being the presence
Where heaven went
Is it worth all the time
All this losing weight
All the giving in
And shedding hate
Because time has come
For our true Self
To be revealed
As nothing else
Than that we've
Been searching for
Knock and the door
Opens from the inside out
I'm not the words
That come from my mouth
Listening to Snow Patrol
Rock the beat
And Gary Lightbody
Fast on his feet
To an uproaring tumult
Is this what it means to be adult
Still listening to music in my room
Then doing yoga via zoom
Or on youtube
Finding new seas
That I traverse
Like never be's
I write about no one
And nothing agrees
I am split level
I've got my degrees
And if you ask a question
Who is to answer
Love is the way
And life is the dancer
To a new song
To a new word
And it's like the best
Sound you've ever heard
But this poem's just a tribute
It's not the real thing
You know it when
You give up on this fling
That you've been caught in
That you've been living
And God is peaceful
He is forgiving
So don't walk away
From all you own
Just listen to your heart
As true colours are shown
As light and love
Break through and bask
All you ever have to do
Is ask
Someday I'll be a wife
But I woke up in the night
To discover it isn't to be
And there's this emptiness surrounding me
And it moves
And it breathes
And it gives me
What I need
As I ache
And pilfer dreams
They're not really
True it seems
Image Credit: Samuel Ferrara on Unsplash.com
The weight of worldly wisdom
Lies on me
And there is something
I used to be
But the far distant shore
Has pulled me in like a tide
Now I'm three quarters half alive
Learning to breathe in from my roots
As this plant grows shoots
Up into the open air
I could've sworn that he was there
Image Credit: Johann Siemens on Unsplash.com
It was like a new dawn
The day the sun broke
And I'd come apart
Inside my own hope
Building a home
Out of tinder and wood
I'd run with the wind
But I'm not sure I could
Be anything but still
In the glen, in the field
I gave up the game
I gave in to yield
And something in the forest
Then was revealed
It was like smoky chimneys
Now the flavour is sealed
As I wander pathways
That lead through the trees
And life is more
Than what is believed
Than what is restored
To ardent love
A devotion to Truth
That shines from above
It's all I can do not to blame him
And Lord, you know, I cannot tame him
With my heart all made of fire
And his way of raising it higher
With the wind as it blows in
And did we ever begin
Trying to get closer
Then further away
You know I couldn't say
All that I meant to you on the phone
You're in the room and I am alone
But bring me some water and flowers to dry
I said okay with a tear in my eye
And you, everlasting you
Just smile
As you hold my hand
We were meant to be
It wasn't planned
And I laugh
At your inanity
Remember that time
You just ran at me
Down silky, silver snowy days
And I've been with you in so many ways
But still aloft
I held your eyes at no cost
Though my own benefit
Be unharmed
I wouldn't settle for any charms
But love
In twinkly starlit nights
And you beside me and alright
Oh love, what are we meant to do
We're in a dream and I choose you
Only to wake
With sheets in my hand
There's none of this that I had planned
I don't want to monetize you
In case you lose your value
You're riverbeds and open skies
And i would never want to dull you
Down into the grey refinity of age
Where words upon words just write the page
Into existence, then out again
I could write about life, then love, then men
But you, oh imperturbable you
I could never capture you within the walls of this cage
And you make the beast inside of me rage
Against the machine that is holding it down
You're an ocean and in it I drown
Only to discover my mermaid nature
If not now, can I save you for later?
The day it all dropped down by my side
Is the day I truly came alive
And there was nothing there
Just empty air
Nothing with the will to get by
And I just basked in the vastness of the sky
I wasn't big and I sure wasn't small
Only aware of it all
And perceiving
Something that was
Beyond believing
And beyond reason in its perfect hue
There's nothing there I have to do
Only make waves to lap the shore
And give in to worship all I adore
And once again, once more
I let go to open the door
The weather moves in its own way
And, Lord knows, it wasn't meant to stay
But be free flowing and in motion
Like some kind of locomotion
And all I can do is just agree
Consent to It using me
To achieve its own aim
This life is free
But it's not a game
Not cheap to buy
Or sell the ticket
Neither calm
Nor there to trick it
But only abiding in one way
I love you and that's what it says