Transcendence is key
And are you talking to me
Coz your breath is light against my cheek
He didn’t know that he made me weak
As he strode across the floor
Like he was going door to door
Looking for me
But I’m right here, or don’t you see
And I grab his hand in the dark
Ignore the way it makes him start
Then throw a conspiratorial look across the aisle
Was I wrong or did I catch you smile
And break the sun across your face
Living the lie is an unholy disgrace
I was young and stupid
To turn you down
I wore a cool dress
Would you be around
And you’ve got eyes
That go on for eons
And I’m just staring
Trying to capture scenes
Of college and cool
And red as a ruby
It doesn’t take Einstein
Or Scooby
Doo
To figure out
I like you
There is no doubt
And your fortress is just a wall
And I ask you to let them fall
As we hold hands
Throw your arm over my shoulder
And I feel as though the boulder
That I carry has dropped away
And I’m lost for words to say
Coz you leave me speechless, in awe
And I can feel my icicles thaw
In the warmth of your soul
Your fire is embers glowing coal
And the heat is burning away
All the barriers I hold at bay
Do you think that we
Could rock out and see
Everything there is to be
It took some time but you’re dear to me
And I hold a candlelight for your frame
I stutter the words that make up your name
Do you think it would be the same
If I took to the road and you airplane
Over my fields so green
It’s oceans I have seen
In the age of you
There’s nothing you have to do
To be the pure you effortlessly are
I see you reflected in a star
Listening to a sermon by Father P
And you know it means the world to me
Coz he is bringing Jesus down
To us, the flock, in a holy gown
And it was young just growing up
What it felt to be bathed in love
Shining down from the altar
To know that God also had a daughter
And he always said humankind
So no one might be left behind
Refused to condemn loving as it poured through
And I always looked up to you
It’s been more than ten years since you depart
I’m glad you wedded God and the Heart
So sacred that I only see
Life in my destiny
No worries on the path that led me there
A priest I trust to level with me fair
And I swore I would speak the truth
From the young days of my youth
As I catalogued Borneo
Just equal to you, you know
A journalist or a scribe
I find my own way out of the hide
To stand up for what I know
There’s more to it than this, a flow
And I see in hindsight the disparity
But you never lorded it over me
Or the rest of us
Just this holy trust
That pulls all of us out of the mire
No such thing as an eternal fire
Or limbo to threaten us with
You stood up and said it didn’t exist
In a time when your voice was true
I learned so much from you
And I swore I would testify
To that which doesn’t die
But shines from the Source
Like a river to sea on a sacred course
And I won’t deny the lie
But there’s something that doesn’t die
In all that I’ve learned to live
Just life and how to forgive
I know he loves me no matter what you say
That doesn’t mean I expect him back any day
It’s just that heart, once shared is given
And stitches itself into all your livin’
I just know he beats
His heart with every step on the streets
And is whole
He loves with all of his soul
And I’m happy for her
But we still were
Though time has passed
And I don’t know what for
I don’t know if you see
That love shines eternally
From every form
The sun itself lives to keep us warm
And I know there is
More than surface tension on the water we live
To hold up
I’m more than what you’re thinkin’ of
He doesn’t seem to know me
But could it be what it seem
I’ve been dreaming of him
Since I was eighteen
When we met on the grass
But the time was not ready
He doubts in my love
But it’s holding steady
And he’s looking real tired
And caught in the fray
I touch his face
And hope he’s okay
As he’s lonely and weary
And fraught with tension
He keeps getting pulled
Into another dimension
Where time and space
Don’t matter at all
You’re walking through weather
You’re walking through walls
And disappearing just
When I want to hold your hand
But don’t worry love
Together we’re grand
And we’ll make this story
Something new
It’s as if I
Have always known you
And always will
You reside in my soul
You look in my eyes
And my vision is whole
As you finally come true
The dream becomes real
We’ve got years together
To love and to feel
And when the midnight
Meets the end of day
You’re the one thing
That’s not going away
Coz you’re held in my heart
And the moments we have
Are just part of the ocean
So I won’t be sad
Just call my name
As I race to your side
I’m the time traveler’s wife
So let love abide
Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash.com
I spend all of my time talking to the voice in my head
Is it telepathy or resident dread
And I don’t expect you to believe
That to stare at the mirror is to grieve
Looking at the reflection of something temporal
Is it empty or I would venture full
Of wit and wisdom and midnight tomes
Clicking away from the habit of homes
That seem to populate my tv screen
Was it real or just a dream
A nightmare I can wake up from
The leaving of loss of everything’s gone
In a moment I’m real and see inside
Give up the venture capital to hide
Within this little hut I’ve built
Giving advice but the talking has stilled
Into an ever present calm
Do you read lines or just hold my palm
Against yours for a moment or so
A secret handshake you thought to show
Me in our intimate endeavor
I know I’m innocent but this is forever
And I won’t paint another colour blue
Over the one that came from you
As the sky holds the memory of us
And there’s something I implicitly trust
That is between us two
I had faith and it brought me you
Maybe not in the way I had thought
But like a soldier that’s been caught
In a single glance you stare
The Earth quaked as you stood there
Looking past the facade
It’s a moment and I want you bad
To be what you’ve always been
If you’re the King and I’m the Queen
Can we give up the reign
Coz it only brings us pain
In attempting to be what we never were
I wish you well for
What it’s worth at any rate
You looked at me
And there was another state
That just seemed to embrace
And I find that the sight of your face
Inspires prose
This is me
And the less travelled road
Taylor Swift would break your heart
As quick as look at you
And it really sticks with you
When it just falls from her lips
It’s like she’s getting ready to equip
You with her well thought out craft
She’ll give you the world
Even if you never ask
And she’ll break the glass
That’s in your hand
She’ll winter your weather
But understand
That everything is
Just passing through
Could heaven be held
In an I love you
Getting drunk in the city
Darragh’s cute and Johnroy is witty
And Liosa and Isabelle are so pretty
Im too smart and that’s a pity
And I feel lost in the move of the club
Marian holds my hand as we walk round the pub
And it’s a sprawling mess but it’s divine
The days UCD was mine
And I did less learning than ever before
Don’t you see how the sun lit up the floor
As we did a skit about being D4
I’d never been that sassy before
But it only made us closer as a group
And I was just sitting on the stoop
When he laughed and told a joke
And he smiles so I don’t have to cope
With this damn state of mind that’s dragging me under
He is the clouds
But I am the thunder
And I just rumble
Into the town that we own
He’s older than me
But you never would’ve known
As he bought me a drink
That said don’t think
Too much about those things
He makes a face and my heart sings
He throws his arm casually round my shoulder
And I feel I’ve just dropped the boulder
That I’ve been rolling up this hill
He lets me see his heart at will
It’s lockdown and I’m thinking of him
Wondering if he kept that grin
And nothing burns like gasoline
You’re the fire in my dream
And I never told you what you wanted me to
Could you see that I love you?
And he probably has a furnace to build
He’s the red in my heart and it cannot be filled
With the memory of what we were
Can I present tense the moment I’m her
As we’re running down aisles and chasing down stars
And Rob, you know, he plays guitars
And I just wish I could be involved
Coz this damn problem’s never solved
But I wouldn’t change it, because we met
I hold a space in my soul for you yet
I think Eckhart underestimates the human race
And I’m not saying this just to save face
Coz I can feel an expansive motion of tide
Pulling me somewhere to abide
And it’s everywhere, in everyone
Shining brighter than the light of the sun
Bequeathing honesty and tomes
Pulling people out of their alones
Into a space where all is real
And it is everything I feel
Coz the man changed my life, he brought the stars
And I let go of my hold on my prison bars
Always a safe place to suffer in
But the water is kinder and I begin
To wade myself into the river deep
I’m awake when people sleep
And it is a promise I always keep
To find the truth and then to speak
But the going is challenging by the sea
Though I figure out it’s my destiny
Handing out hope like tomorrow’s bread
Letting love live my life instead
And the openness is something that I find
Is quintessentially good and abundantly kind
And I really do not mind
If no one sees what’s left behind
Because I pick up and origami the paper
It’s all the one and you’ll see it later
If you don’t see it now in open hands
The Universe and our well laid plans
To cry is not the measure of love
When I think of them I look above
And put a hand on my chest
They are the souls that know me best
And though our time together in form ran out
That you exist is beyond all doubt
As I read between all the lines
Have trust and faith in the Divine
To carry our rivers out to the sea
I don’t feel you’ve really left me
But stand beside me day by day
Making sure I am okay
Like you always did when you walked with me
Driving cars and drinking tea
Or playing drafts til the light went down
By the fire or in town
And I know, I just know that you’re still here
Like all of the things that I hold dear
Never to be put away
Not just something people say
But real and true in honesty
There’s no ending of you and me
But forever as a side by side
You’re as near to me and always alive
As when we shared the kitchen space
I’ll always cherish your beautiful face
And the love for me that you gave
I pray midnights and by day
For your soul to be free and near
I still sense your presence here
As you hold my hand and wake me up
When I’m in sadness like it’s not enough
And the waves of grief don’t consume
Coz I still feel you in the room
Guiding me on and forth
Connecting my spirit with the source
Of all life that we share
Thank you for always being there
I’m seventeen and listening to YouTube
When I didn’t really like any dude
Just studying for my exams
Steady heartbeat but sweaty palms
And it was a year of tragedy
But it also gifted my life to me
As I stand up to the sea
And do you think he meant me
When he spoke that syllable on the phone
A moment together and then alone
As we try to catch stars as their speeding past
You know meteor showers aren’t meant to last
The terrible two’s hit you hard
I was twenty and the glass shard
Went flying out the window
Is it a sin though
Because I know that life
Is more than a husband or wife
As we at the age of marriage and children
Are empty enough that we can’t fill them
And I let him slip out of my grasp
Coz I know forever cannot last
As our bodies wither and they age
And my skin is canvas to write a page
Of years upon
They were here and now they’re gone
And I leave the door lying open
I’m not even in the vicinity of copin’
As I’m resilient in a way I can’t describe
Kind of like the song “I’m Alive”
Her Teflon coating
Made it feel like floating
But she was hit by an arrow in the heel
With no way to cut a deal
And she clambered back up the cliff they pushed her off
It was truth and love but at what cost
As she breaks the frame
That used to hold together her house and name
And I loved her so in the days before dark
Before I walked alone through the park
In the surreptitious midnight that just visit
I think this is the way but is it?
Coz we’re both so strong
But we both went wrong
In the labyrinth of the garden
Could you give me an official pardon?
Stuff I say to you
I was watching the bird and it flew
Out the window from inside
And this landscape can’t hide
The shape of you from me
I loved you so I set you free
But you come back to be
As constant as a northern sea
In the winter of ill repute
And you’re more devastating
Than you are cute
But I like my men like thunderclouds
The rolling sound just makes me proud
To be standing under a western sky
And I have no fear over what will die
Coz something’s not passing
Constant true
As I revealed myself to you
In a winter past, long ago
But it’s just the start
Of the story, you know
On this journey to forever
The path winds but this endeavor
Keeps sailing through the storm
I would like to keep you warm
There are so many things
In life that pass away
Made me ask
Does anything stay
And I found in the dark
An unbeatable light
It’s shines through the veil
Til everyone’s alright
And it’s taking to task
The body I walk
Makes me speak
Not merely talk
And it loves and it cares
But it is detached
Unlocks the door
Even when it’s latched
It goes up and over
Here and beyond
Answers questions
Like a dumb blonde
With the smarts
I looked it’s way
And suddenly it starts
To shine
For the whole world to see
Don’t you know
It’s not about me
But about the fabric
Becoming paper thin
He saw the real
So I let him in
What used to seem so sure
Is now disappearing over the hill
Can change change me
Or do I swear it never will
As I hold onto who I used to be
But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see
The ocean is not held in a span
And will I do what I can
To be a modern example of what is true
What’s possible for me and you
As we share a world unique
But I do not dare to speak
My voice though it reverberate
Around the hall as we equate
Together with just being there
I’ve learned from love and I do care
Though shapeless you see
Me in a way and integrity
Has me burning a fuse in my mind
To always be awesome and super kind
And fearless with courage to bear
The way the fabric tear
On this dream of us
I found true love and in it I trust
There’s a hundred million souls
Hanging round this joint
But somehow you’re the one
My heart anoint
And ignite like a signal fire
In those days I never tire
Of my rebound nature
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later
And he passed like a comet across the sky
Proclaiming that which will never die
In a moment we are as One
And he merged with the Son
To shine a light so bright the sound goes deaf
To all that is and isn’t left
In the ashes that burn up into flame
A phoenix by everything but name
And he’s lovely and normal and sweet as pie
And I just want him to see me cry
To let him in through the facade
The bulletproof and feeling bad
To this garden where everything grows
And there’s a flower here for you, God knows
That’s been ten years in the making
There are no tales worth the shaking
The run away induced
But you are here and I’ve deduced
That everything will be okay
Will you ever look at me that way
Again
And men
Just remind me of us
Our solid steel and unbreakable trust
Going from friends to this
Can you believe we didn’t even kiss
Except when our palms met each other
And I think of you as a would be lover
And you laugh and so do I
I think I’ll love you more than life can die
Coz there are no walls to hold this in
But when it comes to me it’s always him
And he seems to be some other where
But he’s with me and I don’t care
Who I offend
With the way I stitch the thread to mend
Til it’s a brand new dress or quilt
And the blade is broken at the hilt
As you try to pull it out of the stone
But who are you when you’re at home
Are you the same old saviour sweet
I’m warm but can you stand the heat
Of a passion that burns fusion strong
How could this love ever be wrong?
I gotta know
If there’s light in this
And we are One
Though we’ve never kissed
Just waited on the venture
To pull something through
Like I’m a needle and thread
Weaving tapestry of you
And you’re beautiful, all angels wings
And when he talks, my heart, it sings
And there are tomorrows and there are yesterdays
But we’ve been together in so many ways
All of them taut as a string
Looking for love and what it could bring
But the seasons change and time moves on
By your side I always belong
And is it just an approximation
The screen on a tv station
To make something appear, then away
And I’m not lost for what people say
But know this for true
There’s a reason I’m beautiful around you
There were times I thought;
Things like that only happen in America
But now an Irish flag is flying
On hills I don’t agree with
Declaring the ruination of all that used to be
And how it was empty and vapid
Relentless in its desire to control all of us
I look at the clock again
It’s half past six
But time is moving and never sticks
To the floor like the day I heard
And you could shoot every single bird
I wouldn’t notice
Coz you’re gone
The only place that I belong
Standing by your side
Now I hear your name and I run and hide
Because it brings up convulsions I cannot repair
One minute you’re standing there
The next air
That I breathe in
And even thoughts of him
Can’t take away the ashes of my loneliness
Written in biro like an address
As I scribble my name
I love you so I won’t be the same
But are the hackles drawn on my wilderness
That I would ever confess
A taut string like grief
And my belief
Is to hide it from everyone
Shine like I’m the fucking sun
Collapsing in on itself
A black hole to eat the life that is its wealth
And welcome any stragglers into its dusky fold
I’m getting old
You can measure it by how you perceive the years
They move so fast there’s no time for tears
Coz the ebbing will flow
And what came down must let go
Of its hold on this misty night
Is it okay if I am alright?
You can’t stop the slow march of time
You can only reveal the effortless sublime
And Obama sang for yes we can
But could the answer really be a man
Who could lead us all to peace
But it gets worse before the trouble cease
And we all clamber, fighting the tide
Did you notice you’re alive
Or are you so lost in the stream
That you don’t see beyond the edges of the dream
As it binds you with its swell
So much so that you can’t tell
What is true or supposition
Til pain hits you with its ammunition
And we have got to learn how to deal
With the fabric that Reality steal
To make into a dress or suit
And is Truth a just pursuit?
I was walking through the leaves in a wilderness tone When it hit me that I was already at home And I looked in his eyes and I saw the Sun He looked at me and saw the One And the reflection mirrored itself to me Dazzling along an infinity As we march to the beat of time I relinquish the dream where he is mine To command and to own It's been years but we've both grown Up and out in separate ways I love him a lot but he never stays Always open to a new endeavor I thought love was the only endeavor But it seems that self realisation takes the place Of the days I spent trying to save face As I reveal myself to him Find the snippet of a grin That spreads across feigned innocence I dunno if you're due for rent But I'm out to buy It's you and I don't know why
I write my own version of epicology It's a word I made up to describe mythology Of the personal self so cool Oh, the awesome that I was in school As I danced on a cloud nine The minute He pierced through what was mine To reveal the ever present source And I'm filled with remorse That I never seem to live up to The identical that I saw in You As we spend our time just having a laugh As we melt like a wall that's not gonna last And I can't contain you in a rhyme Except that you were outside of time A moment, free and then to bind We lost love to the mind As the shackles came back to say We don't let people go that way But I look up and the light Is still shining on us, alright And I don't need to let go Of what is inherent to me, you know And I don't know how to unfurl The heart that creates the girl As a modicum to understand You were the truth I hadn't planned Thought I could be the solitary queen Til the sword lanced the dream And birthed me into real life I like you, is that alright?
Running like a colt through fields of grass I found an eternal that will ever last Or it found me Lost in a mire of indignity At fourteen It was a crack in the facade of the dream And the light got in And it just happened to be shining on him When we came across each other A supersister and a soulbrother To barely touch but to meet The lines that parallel our feet As we move them to and fro Try to find meaning before we go And I don't know where he is right now Coz I stopped working the clock somehow And he's cool with the brush of wisdom My identity became a prison I let go like the empty leaves That blow from the trees In autumn when it's time And I try on calling you mine As you take a step to the foreign shore I can't help but love you more As you reveal yourself to me I realise that to be free Is to have your arms locked like a vice Around me for the first time, twice
The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane And if I lose is there something to gain Coz I see you over there, from afar You're radiant, a celestial star And I just don't know what you are But you raise the bar On all that's yet to come When you get older you realise that you're still young On the verge of thirty three Never realised old age would come to me Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend There's a beginning, middle and end To every story that you ever tell But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well Coz it's all that there is And I'm still His As he moves the atoms in waves around The nucleus with a doppler effect sound And am I just trying to be smart I made studying seem like an art Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up On the institution I used to love But it brought me somewhere I've never been Something I couldn't even think to dream And I always thought I'd be a writer But I hate conflict so please don't fight her And if there's something to say Could you please utter it in a kind way Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose But I just don't want to lose As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine I let go of the life that's mine To be held in the expansive note Of a God I can barely quote Without referring to old wisdom But I think light might be a prism When you bend it to refract I saw the truth, now I can't go back
Money is the language Western culture speaks
While in the East we wonder who eats
As we clamber together a mountain of rocks
And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks
Do we really know where we’re going
I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing
Do I have a destiny to live up to
Or am I just throwing shapes at you
As I move in the room through the embrace of air
The nothing that’s something and ever there
As we all return to the Tao that gives birth
To learn and live the lessons of hurt
Of the pain that transforms
Mere weather into thunderstorms
It was momentary
Just a little hint of stardust
As we danced to the silence of your heart
And I realized we would never be apart
That there’s something in your eyes
It’s in the movies in disguise
And I remember watching Yvaine
Soar above the pain
In that summer of 08
It was August and every breath that I take
Informs me of something new
And, honey, it was you
Now you’re far away
And weaving in and out between
Dancing in
Some kind of dream
And there are words I don’t utter
But when you smile I melt like butter
Into a puddle at your feet
I’m still absorbed by the way a black hole will meet
The light that moves to its own pulse
And I must inquire does love repulse
Opposite poles like two magnet shapes
Did I fall in love or did I forsake
And we’re all at sea in our separate lives
We do anything just to survive
But I catch you catch hold of my hand
Help me into a carriage I don’t understand
As it takes me somewhere new
There is scenery but it sings of you
And the us we could be
Or already are like water is free
To flow through rather than under
And I may have deleted your number
But it’s just coz I’m defeated and going under
The tidal weight of the ocean we are
You caught my eye like a shooting star
Venerate the Goddess
Get down on your knees
Do anything I ask
Or anything I please
And I’ll give you the world
A plethora of things
Or a simple key
Into the heart that sings
So you can unlock
The dial that keeps you closed
A vault of solid steel
Or concrete, God knows
And I know the wealth
Is not hidden behind
It resides somewhere
Beyond the mind
And you can touch into
The intimate fold
Find something
More precious than gold
As you realise
All you’ve come to be
Don’t blame me now
Just coz you see
The waking consciousness woke me up
And it was the beginning of love
The extension by degree
Of the effervescent that is me
And I seemed struck to the earth
But it was a new birth
A Realisation ever new
Even as it passes through you
Cleaning out the whole system
Do I have to say I missed him
Coz I feel like he’s still here
And, Lord knows, I hold him dear
What if there is no right or wrong
And the tree of life is just a song
And the music plays to keep us secure
Not waving oceans to endure
As it all just comes apart
We’re floating back to the start
Where it all comes together
And there’s no sign of Noah’s weather
As we meet the end of days
It’s just the start in many ways
There’s no way back now
We’ve got to find a new way somehow
To cut a swathe through the tide
Really breathe while we’re alive
And we may have realized
That we’re all living under blue skies
But we hide behind each tree we find
Conceptualize it with the power of mind
And search for a way to be secure
But don’t you know we’re all born pure
And I’m not trying to catch you out
But don’t you think it’s good to doubt
And question what you don’t understand
The life of the free is never planned
But an unfoldment in Universal degree
I may be wrong but hey, that’s just me!
Living the life of a break up song
And I’m like her, I can do no wrong
Til I finally admit
The problem is me
And I thought I was Moses
Parting the sea
But I’m just a girl
Who’s thirty two
Learning to love
And rely on You
The God of forewarned understanding
And I know my wishes can be demanding
But I plead that He lets them be
Bring change through the vehicle of me
Let my hands be a messenger of love
The descent of redemption from above
As I acquiesce to His will
I won’t know the answer until
I live it and move my bones
Give the many bread and homes
Is Jeremy with ya
Are ya reading the news
It’s all I can do
Not to lie on the pews
Coz the sunshine is storming
To a degree
I wasn’t looking
When it struck me
And I fell from on high
With a thunderous jolt
Cascading oblivion
An electric volt
10,000 pulsing micro equations
I find truth on tv stations
As I flick the remote to and fro
I thought you would just know
If I let it resound
It’s like the chains don’t know they are bound
Until they fall to the clanging ground
With an unearthly shake
It was the first breath I knew how to take
I see myself standing on a stage
Standing up for that which does not age
And we all cascade like a waterfall
Into the ocean to enthrall
And I don’t know who I’m gonna be
I just know the open sea
Is pulsing within my veins
It doesn’t go by the normal names
Just something infinite
You know you’ll be alright
Deep in disguise
I wade through the water
You somebody’s son
I’m the moon’s daughter
And I slip sideways
Out of the scene
You were the best part
Of my dream
And I watched you watch me
You took my pic
You grabbed the towel
And the gear stick
Shook in my hand
Said goodbye to Sam
You said he’ll be grand
And I drove you home
It was just the two of us
All alone
And you stopped to stare
I stopped the car
And met you there
And I wonder if I’ll ever see
You looking again like that at me
As I shared on a screen
Some kind of light show
I’d tell you the truth
If you want me to, you know
All the love in my heart
And you were a rouge kind of dark
As you let the wilderness consume
I watch you from across the room
I used to blaze a trail
I was always on fire
If you get the down low
It’ll take you higher
And I had a taste
Of the Immaculate Heart
Found something within me
That will never depart
Then I lost faith
And all in ruins
Went day drinking
With howareya’doin’s
Til I
Hit the floor
And at rock bottom
There was a trapdoor
That let me out
Or let me in
I sign my name
In love with him
And he sees me there
Upon a hill
Does destiny decide
Or some higher will
About whether or not
We’re meant to be
Til I found myself
Down on one knee
Professing all I can’t contain
Like the clouds when it starts to rain
And, aghast, he grips a chair
“But I thought there was nothing there”
Now I’m all at sea
And must accept the calamity
That follows my footsteps down the road
I kissed a prince
And found a toad
And I’m laughing, laughing
Coz there’s nothing wrong
And he leads with the power of song
Always to his beholden one
And I wouldn’t wish them undone
For any power in the world of man
I smile but I don’t know how you can
Let this be and let this go
I just wanted you to know
You were the soundtrack of my summer year
And I’m gonna always hold you dear
And visualize my own scene
I’ll meet you somewhere, maybe when you dream
In avenues and wonder spells
It was lovely, our show and tell
I see the I Am in every pair of eyes
Once you look there’s no disguise
And I venerate the Holy One
The ocean of which cannot be undone
And the chains fall like shackles on the floor
As I make way for what I adore
The riverbeds flow toward the sea
So it is with the Guru and me
The spaciousness nothing can contain
The sky beyond the rain
The storm clouds far beneath
The person that I used to be
I can hear murmurings
Sweet whispers in my ears
And I wait
Until the smoke clears
To really discern
What is going on
It’s been years
Since I felt I belonged
And someone’s gotta say it
Call a spade a spade
But you need both tree and sun
To make the shade
And I’m into realism
But I’m also idealistic
I don’t want this century
To repeat the statistic
Errors of a previous generation
Am I getting above my station
To say it’s gotta stop
And I don’t wanna play bad cop
But the letters on my tongue
Are spilling ink
And there’s nothing for the truth
To do but sink
In as we realise what we all do
I am just the reflection of you
Am I trading on my innocence
And the forest gets more dense
As I try to discern
That which simply doesn’t burn
In the fires of time
And would it be a glorious crime
To admit the steady part of me
That just will not let ok be
And I traverse the hills
The loss of all my aforementioned skills
Til I’m kneeling by the shore
The monument that I adore
An empty ocean sea
That is pumping the heart of me
The body is aging
It passes through time
As I try to capture
What is mine
But it eludes my grasp
Like the finest sand
Points me toward the shore
So I understand
And it’s fearless, it’s true
It’s innocent pure
It’s the one thing
That you can be sure
Not to fail you
When the midnight rings
And I can feel it
When she sings
Of love, of beauty
Of something beyond
And they had her down
As a dumb blonde
But she points the way
She leads the charge
Picks you up off the floor
When times get hard
And I can’t ignore
The magnanimous effect
She had upon me
When the dream was wrecked
And I pulled myself away
From what I abhor
Beyond the recognition
Of what I was before
And the signs desert me
Though their pointings fable
Tell me to get up
If I’m able
But another blow comes in
From the west
With the flavor of something
I detest
And I know, I know
I should be serene
And chasing a crown
Only means you’re no queen
I put down my pen as I start to write
I wonder will this pebble go down alright
As I throw it out into the multiverse
It something you just do, you can’t rehearse
And I can feel the tremors and the rumbles
The rock as the earth quakes and downwards it tumbles
Into a sphere of non recompense
I was stuck there for an eon in the present tense
But it’s nothing I can’t leave for a good cup of tea
See the guy in the club, wonder if he’s looking at me
As I down another shot on my travail
It’s the kind of purpose that can never fail
As I live up to the archetype of sin
When I’m in the room, just me and him
And it really don’t matter what she say
I’m all in with this thing, okay
But I see doubt flit across your face
As if I’m a demon you don’t dare to chase
Into the folds of another chasm
I look away coz I know she has him
And there’s no point a syllable to spill
It’s not like I have a void I want you to fill
I’m all emptiness and a faraway shore
The Goddess that is prone to adore
The face and feet of a holy man
I’ll wash them with my hair if you say that I can
Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know
But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go
As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind
I keep wondering what I left behind
And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin
I just feel like dancing when I talk with him
And what’s going on is not what it appears
I’m not laying all my life on you, dears
I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge
Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his
And he owns the motions I make through the air
It was just a moment but we both were there
To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting
I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting
For the first time again after so long
Is the seat by your side where I belong?
I knock but there’s no answer
And I’ve done my time being a dancer
Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread
Into a daydream in my head
And I may be deluded, I may be wrong
But this love thing is so damn strong
As I feel it pulse in my chest
Weighing up who I love the best
But it flits around to varying beings
Changes with the landscape I’m seeing
An intimacy I cannot describe
I just thank God I’m alive
To experience all of this
It was Truth like a first kiss
As I wake up to what I am
And all that moves without a plan
I don’t know if you’re watching here
But I want you to know I love you, dear
And I feel you close as the skin
The arms, the legs, the body I’m walking in
And you touched my soul more than I can announce
I try the words but I can’t pronounce
The monumental you mean to me, love
Let me meet him again I ask God above
Remind them of their humanity
Don’t let it switch off
It’s not long living
But all is not lost
Coz there is a molten core
At the heart of everyone
Nuclear fusion
Brighter than the sun
And it burns irregardless
Of the darkness you put yourself through
Don’t deny
All that is you
And I know it
Coz I’ve been through the night
But in the midst of the storm
The eye is alright
And I trust in the value
Of what makes us real
Is it intuition
Or the way that I feel
That tells me there’s an end
To a fighting soul
The wave is the ocean
Even if it has to roll
And you’re still what you are
Even in the confusion
Wake up from dread
And the delusion
That we are separate
From each other
Walking the plains
As sister and brother
And opening a sky
That will soothe with rain
We don’t have to
Go through this again
And I’m a reporter
On the front line
I don’t think we can do this
Another time
The monsters are man made
They live in the attic
They crackle like telephone
Under the static
They brew like a soup
Under the sink
Dare you to do
Something crazy like think
And I lie in my bed
And the horrors maintain
There’s nothing lost
If there’s nothing to gain
If outside is inside
The window you touch
You learn to let go
Of what you love so much
And in winter the fire’s
Warming the hearth
But I’m still scared
Of what hides in the dark
Under the moonlight
Of another season
Like the way I love you
Without reason
And it makes no sense
But the tide will crash
Against the stone
And turn all to ash
Like the waves of duty
To abide
I see the truth
And I confide
It on paper
To the sky
What comes will go
What’s born will die
But what’s ever present
Will remain
Beyond the ocean
As terrain
I could be overestimating my appeal
Like the man is gorgeous, he’s a steal
It’s just I’ve got this gut intuition
That I could be gunpowder to his ammunition
And is it all attraction or is it something more
I could see myself calling to his door
And answering him when I pick up the phone
Not have to spend every minute alone
But he clasps my words like it’s my hands
He’s spaciousness and he understands
Though he may have made a blunder or two
He’s got my number and I’m replying to you
I’m as see through as a pane of glass
And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask
What exactly is on your mind
I left the world I left behind
And grew up into walking shoes
To hold my own and pay my dues
In seasonal or in holiday stance
And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance
As you tic tac toe in front of me
Mr. Awesome or so I see
As you lean in close to meet my word
And I wonder what it is you heard
Coz it echoes against these cavern walls
In holidays and free for all’s
You knock on my door with your suit and tie
Stand up for what can never die
And I take your arm as we walk to the dance
Is loving you a sort of chance
Or risk I’m taking out on the pier
Letting a man come near
Close enough to break my heart
By giving him a share or part
Of what I’ve held in from the sky
I’m not playing games, I don’t lie
But I hold back because the fear
Is great enough to kill me, dear
And my heart It pounds in my chest
As I forsake the rest
To say I will and I do
When I’m looking straight at you
In eyes held tight at the altar
The time is now though it gets shorter
To see the mist advance with age
Though I can’t run from a blank page
That bids me just to tell the truth
And it’s not so bad giving way to youth
That is passing like a sea of storm
You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm
You are an immortal being
Though these images that I’m seeing
May make you want to run a mile
Or, I dunno, maybe just smile
And laugh and say isn’t that the way
You look at me and I’m okay
I fight with my femininity
It evokes love
But I can’t tie myself
To any of the above
Only open my heart
For peace to be shared
Open my notebook
To say that I cared
And that I’m not
In this quiet, tight space
But dreaming of days
When I touch your face
Telling you all
You mean to me
Not closing the door
So you can be free
And I know that I have put out
More than I take back
And I have been hobbling
Over what I lack
But the sight of you
Is like a comet true
And I’m shaking just thinking
Of what I would do
If you were mine
To have and to keep
To wake up beside
A good nights sleep
And you’re kind and you’re awesome
I’ve been keeping you away
I look down at my feet
Coz I don’t know what to say
And you tell me I’m lovely
And beautiful
He left me empty
Now I am full
Of a joy that’s brimming
Full of trust
Can I come in, baby
It’s a must
And you look at me
As if I defy
The life I’m leading
As some kind of lie
But I just wanna be
Myself again
A woman in
A world full of men
Telling me how
I should contain
This heart of mine
That’s broken with pain
But shining with gold
As I repair
The parts of myself
That knows you are there
That knows there is kindness
And there is truth
More than monuments
I’ve built to our youth
And nobody knows
Or can describe
The feeling of loving
Breath when you’re alive
And I’m haunted by loss
And the threat of death
Keep living days
Full of regret
Coz I can’t control
The passing of seasons
Or people with pride
And a bowl full of reasons
And is it insincere
To proclaim my devotion
To the silence
In all the commotion
As I feel the movement
Of a pin drop
Signaling winter
Or the moment to stop
And take in an aside
Of all we’re meant to be
I didn’t know if you knew
So I’m letting you see
You’re running in my blood
You’re running in my veins
And it’s like the man said
That I am strange
Coz I just can’t be awful to make a point
I’m only messing, don’t knock yourself out of joint
In trying to be normal and to fit in
I come and go but it’s always him
I return back to in the midnight
Where there’s no need to ask if you’re alright
Coz you are and the stars shine from your sky
We’re together forever so there’s no goodbye
Waiting in the wings of a terrible dawn
When you wake up and realise that it’s all gone
Like the boy I loved when I was seventeen
But the wind escaped from a terrible dream
The one I roll in like the sea
When the current is demolishing me
Til all and sundry is broken and beaten
Like you have you’re cake but it will remain uneaten
And I never got to hold his hand
But the sight of him sure was grand
Til the brutal tide that won’t be surpassed
Came at me til I was harassed
Trying to get on with half an act
It’s like it was fucking awful and I can’t go back
To where I was before it began
And you become an also ran
Til I’m knocking my head against the wall
Coz I can find no silence in it all
But the peace it came and kissed my face
When I was an abject disgrace
When nothing could save me from defeat
I was run down and knocked off my feet
And I try to get back up and walk
It’s like telling the wind it has to talk
When it can only whisper nothings on the breeze
Do you know the feeling when your heart starts to seize
And you’ve got nothing but ragged breath
Saying to yourself there’s no regret
But just one that I ever let you go
And another that I never let him know
The true depths of feeling that pumps a course
My circuitry and the remorse
The Poetry Book 