The Monumental

I’m exhausted fighting the tide
Oh what does it mean to be alive
Is it treading water or surfing the waves
Is it falling down or being brave
Coz I cannot seem to find a story
When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me
As I question every facet of a different hue
It’s who I am not what I didn’t do
Living on the brink of a well worn facade
Diving deep beyond feeling bad
And finding the Heaven life has in store
You think this is it then it’s a bit more
And I don’t draw diagrams for fun
I’m all architecture and you’re the one
As we build and we break
But we own each and every breath that we take
And every step that we walk
We must be integrity not mere talk
But the sun on the land
Or the good looking lad in a band
That caught my eye
Oh, I feel I could fly
But doubt my wings
It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things
As he meets my stare
Holds himself like he’s really there
And I cannot ignore
The unconditional that I implore
Not to leave me
And you wouldn’t believe me
If I told you the truth
The monumental and my youth

Gleaming Diamond

Do I really want you to come a little closer
You’re just like a ghost
With the flavors of nothing
And what I love the most
I see you shy away and I avoid
Being one of the girls
You’re not one of the boys
But you dance
Like Heaven has given you another chance
To be all you are
The wonderful bridge
Constellatory star
That just shines
Like gleaming diamonds in gold mines
I pick one up
But it just reflects the look of you, love
And we’re one again
Outside the realm of women and men
Just to be what is
He holds my hand and I am his
To recalculate
All that has me in a lowly state
Where do I walk
And is all my effulgence just mere talk
Do I live up to
The brigand that I saw in you
As you caught my hand
I catch my breath as you reprimand
Me for my trauma of being too much
I back away but I also clutch
You to me
Can you love the whole sea
When it’s not yours or mine
I felt crushed watching About Time
And I could feel a lion roar
Deep within me
Death the moment life begins me
As I sit up off the floor
What was that and what’s more
Who am I
How am I not to die
When this body walks I seem to move
But it’s just patterning on the groove
Of the effervescent
I hate to be described as pleasant
Coz it’s so lukewarm
And I am nothing if not a storm
Brewing over the hill
Do you know the moment if you’re not still?

Two Dogs Snarling

We became like two dogs snarling
In the days I called you darling
And you spit your words out at me
I let you go free
Like we’re aching from our history
You and the mystery
As ages pass us by
And we love but we don’t know why
And we fight and we try
But we can’t forgive the lie
And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted
And I just remember when we started
And how it is so different now
I still see you through the wind somehow

My Life With The Girls

We’ll never be that young again
The look on Linda’s face
As all our cares
Vanished without a trace
And we’re a team
There were times we were the best they’d ever seen
As they wrote us off
Til we won the match
Getting changed in the old house
With the roof made of thatch
And Gerry got us all fired up at half time
That year was one that would never rhyme
And our nemeses are just girls on a pitch
You better watch who you’re calling a bitch
And there’s something momentous
There’s something forever
In our willful abandon and heartfelt endeavor
To reach to the skies
Just coz we’re young
And no words
Could ever spell the fun
And everybody’s got their cameras
No one’s got phones
And we look at each other
And we’re not alone
In the fray of it all
You made my life, we broke through the wall
And we’re forever for a moment in time
The ball sits in the air and I make it mine

The Suspense Novel

I feel the fear pulse inside
Oh, the terror of being alive
And I try to talk with my anxiety
It seems it’s getting the best of me
As I shiver and shake
Then the earth quake
Bringing monuments to the ground
With a tremulous sound
But the peace knows how to ache
Until I love it for its own sake
And the reason why seems to elude me
It’s like it has to prove me
Wrong or right
But I can’t sleep at night
For thinking of him
And the heart has to win
No matter how it seems to be
Could it mean the world to me
Swimming in oceans in between
And if this is just a dream
Then why does it hurt so much
And maybe I’m out of luck
To be adverse with an advanced decider
I never thought you would hide her
Away from seeing eyes
To be the moment love despise
In a sudden realization
I flip the switch and change the station
To get my mind off of you
But it only makes me want to
Clasp your hand in mine
And I’ve been alone all this time
Coz I can’t bear to think of another fella
I’ve never been the type to call you yella
But why did you not tell me how you feel
Why did you try to cut a deal
And hold it tight with skin and bone
But you look like I could make a home
With you where we were
And I don’t know what for
But I feel the need to profess
Everything I wouldn’t confess
Way back when
Could you ask me that question again?

Shake And Wake

You’re mysterious 
And the guys just call you Chris
And I have to adjust my vision for the time being
Because I’m not sure exactly what I’m seeing
As you softly ask me my name
And I’d love to do the same
But the ghost of winter left last evening
And I’ve given up on all my believing
And the night isn’t cold but it sure is dark
And I used to live right by the park
As I listened to JV McMorrow
That year I transcended the sorrow
And clicked my tongue to my own beat
I used to just drive down the street
With a bigger sense of life and purpose
Not chasing my tail like a dog in a circus
Anyway it’s been eons
But you cut through the neon
Back to where I love the feel
Of the men with which I deal
And you’ve got something so real
In the silence that I just steal
Before I hang up the phone
It’s good for five minutes to be alone
With a voice like yours down the line
I blush at the question and answer I’m fine
Coz I know this number is a hard one to call
But you smile, I can hear it through the air wall
And I wonder exactly who you are
Do you ever think time is measured by a star
As we orbit around what’s fixed in space
Running the rivers like it is a race
But everything is just typed in notes
And I must admit that I love quotes
And what they bring to the table
If you’re sitting at one are you able
To be outside in the fields of yore
Is everything as before?
Or are you something I’ve never seen
I hear his voice and shake out of the dream

The Red Of Fire

I actually haven’t lost my spark
Or my ability to make a mark
And it seems my visage has grown strained
Wearing a look so pained
From all the trials I’ve been through
All for the courage I lacked in you
As you exclaimed against your will
That love is nothing but a skill
And I soared into the roaring sun
All for fear of being come undone
That I feel in your presence blue
The red of fire I am to you

Life In Eden

What if we’re living in Paradise
The green fields of our life
And he is tormented by the loss of Eden
And I was ardent in my believing
Til I met the moment in a night
And something did ignite
Burned like a fuse towards dynamite
Spinning ever closer to its own execution
I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution
Of what I mean to say
I’d rather just point the way
And have you follow where I go
But my steps shake as I move slow
Across the ground of the room
There is so much more than doom
In the space that we share
There is true love and care
I feel I must speak up to say
It’s more than a myth and okay
I get that you have your own perspective
But my view is true and objective
Like a glass with no lens
You only see through it when you don’t defend
Yourself from what you mean to be
You just open up for free
And find it echo in your bones
Away from the beat of earphones
And all the noise that fills the day
It’s not a game or a power play
But something that must be known
I pull the curtains back and it’s shown

The Future In The Night

Depression cannot stifle this 
Pain won’t call it quits
It stands and it walks
It lays down or sits
But this moving beast
I call my own
Is a kaleidoscope
Of light that’s thrown
Brash across the windowpane
And all the suffering is in vain
Because it cannot put out the light
Not even in the darkest night
Not even in the furthest blue
I still see colour in you
And you may note the degree
But it wasn’t earned by me
It fell like papers from my hand
An ocean in a grain of sand
That is roaring with the sea
You look up and it’s just me
But more and further do I be
Let’s rewrite future history

Idealism

Idealism has me loving him
Through the wings of a new song
And I’ve only felt
Sparsely that I belong
In and out between the fear
Catching hold of what I hold dear
In the hopes that it won’t leave
And it’s little that I don’t believe
Coz it all pulses in my throat
And are we post rote
Learning now
I sit upon the bough
Of a leaning tree
To watch the sunset fade in front of me
And think it’s much like a life
That doesn’t get to happen twice
Unless you’re into that sort of thing
A reincarnation into the skin that swim
In the great ocean
And I’ve always been emotion
Trying to calm down
But I walk on solid ground
As my heart beats in my chest
Trust in God and leave the rest

Zero Point

It’s zero point
It all boils down
To what won’t lift up
Off the ground
And if we’re to leave
More than a crater
We’ve got to stop
Spanning the equator
I’m search of
What can’t be found
Everybody knows
That the world is round
And bends at the horizon
Do you find the wave motion of tears surprising
When they’re cried from the sky
If we’re born do we know how to die
Coz we’ve been stamped with a temporary seal
And it’s been rendered taboo what you feel
That used to be age old wisdom true
Now it’s spiraling in diamonds over you
And they give you a name so you know what to call it
But you still find a way to apall it
As it burrows ever closer to your heart
Beating in the years we’ve been apart
Do you doubt the moment’s breath
And is past just regret
That accumulates
I tell you now to get out of that state
Don’t sit with your bootstraps so low to the ground
Ring the bell like you hear the sound

Threatening An Edifice

Are you threatened by the female
Do you reverberate
Am I meant to give up
On myself in that state
Or is there a way
To be and grow
I gave you a chance
To have me, you know
But you turned away
From the dance
I split the boil
With a lance
Til all the pus
Came spewing out
The knife was quick
As my wit, no doubt

Sweetness

I just wanted to know if you left me a message
It’s nothing insincere
But I’ve been tripping the wire
Of in love with you, dear
And I know it’s a fallacy
And I know there’s nothing wrong
It’s just you gave me that rush
Like you thought I was strong
And I’m smiling to myself
As I’m sitting on the couch
Threw normal out the window
Of sanity to vouch
For me in the days
When the water is less clear
I had a dream of you
When your words made you seem near
But anyway and anyhow
I’ve got to let it go
I just wanted to uncover
These reams and reams of snow
So you’d know that in the winter
The sun burns just as true
You said that you liked me
Well, hey man, back at you!

A Bite Into The Blue

Taking a bite into the blue
And it comes up the colour of you
As I dive into the ocean
And it’s all rhythmic motion
In the life I cannot live
Is it time to forgive
The darkness of my past
Who knew that this would last
So very long
Correct me if I’m wrong
But you loved that I love that song
As you curl up by my side
Say that I make you feel alive
And now it’s all gone away
What was it you didn’t say
Coz I’m dying to know
And I won’t leave it be so
Just tell me what you need to admit
I looked at you and I sit
Beside you surreptitiously
Vulnerably confess to me
Like a secret you can’t bear to keep
I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep

You Can Face This

Holding my breath and biding my time
What is the going rate for a tidal crime
Coz I scrambled my way to the surface
As I rose through the darkest perfect
Fallen from the sky I’d known
I guess you could say that I’ve grown
Up and out in so many ways
But I still get caught in what someone says
And I see a starling in the air
I close the night with the power of prayer
To open up and embrace
Do more than just save face
But admit my flaws
Be the water when the ice thaws
Be something that’s worth standing for
Can I be something the people adore
Or do I just enlarge the schism
React with pain or replace division
With a wealth of wisdom true
Do you think I could trust in you

In A Beautiful Dress

Something happened to set the scene 
And wake me up from the dream
And it was all I could do not to exclaim
That you need sky for the clouds to rain
As I discovered a newfound glory
Something exists outside the story
And it’s living itself as me
It’s like the storm has been set free
To wage its unholy war
To show you what peace is for
And it’s broken me down to a fragment
I’m still looking for where the person went
As it vacates the premises
I let go of the notion of nemesis
As everything turns to a quiet state
Do we have to learn to hate
When we’ve been set free
I let the chains fall off of me

Screaming From Dreaming

I woke with a pain in my head
As fear raked across me like dread
And I fought to overcome
The flaw of being young
Coz happily I’m happenstance
And love is the great dance
Around a merry swing
Did you hear me give up everything
For the dream of holding on
But the space you leave is long gone
And I try to patch it with needles and thread
As I’m lying in my lonely bed
Just scraping by on what I can manage
Though I fail to admit the damage
That you did with one look
You could read about it in a book
But it happens in real life too
And it was my luck it happened with you

Momentarily

I know it’s unfair to exclaim
That you save me from all the pain
That I brought to bear on myself
Now I’m searching for the answer in someone else
And you never had anything to do
With what I faced without you
Coz I made that choice all on my own
And I’ve never felt alone
Coz I’ve always had support
And a steady kind of rapport
With everyone I seem to meet
I’m fire so the heat
Is to be expected
Don’t take my manners for being disrespected
I’m only playing a xylophone on you
And I want you to sing along to
The refrain we effortlessly make
I do it for the both of our sake

The Non Spectacular Nature Of Now

The non spectacular nature of Now 
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old

The Great Calm

Enough of your reign over this land
I was honest and faithful, you were underhand
And you always find ways to point out my flaws
Say what’s underneath when the ice thaws
And you gave me pause
A moment to think about a hidden clause
In all you perambulate
Find a way to get out of that state
And into another
You were never close to being a brother
To me
And I see
All the design done deleteriously
Is falling into my palm
You were the storm before the Great Calm

50 Year Stand

We could have a fifty year stand
And I could live with holding your hand
But I could never be bound to profess
That I’m anything more than this minidress
And what I’m meaning to confess
Is that I reach for you in my distress
But I don’t see forever in your eyes
Because, you know, everybody dies
And I lost him at seventeen
When I wasn’t even in the dream
Just walking back from lunch
Ignoring that petty hunch
That had you sidelines and sideways
I don’t care what anybody says
Anymore coz they’re all liars
And I’ve set one too many fires
Under who I’m meant to be
I’ve grown up but still don’t see
And the diagrams all refract
The way you can’t get people back
Once you’ve lost your hold on them
If I could would I live it again?
Just to feel the same old pain
If you walk on grass do you curse the rain
That made it green and fresh
It’s been years but I don’t forget

Something Superb

There’s something superb on my window pane
And all of my fighting I have done in vain
Coz he’s waiting for me when I get home
And there’s nothing I ever have to do alone
And he’s sweet and innocent
Pausing and true
I let him fall into open arms and you
Are always there when I get back
There’s nothing in me that you lack
As you fail to find refuge in foreign seas
And get diagnosed with the dreamer’s disease
But it’s not make believe that he was there
And I found a diamond in true care

As You Are

The burning furore that sits in my chest
The need to always be the best
And speak out what no one’s talking to
Is it wrong to put the spotlight on you
To shine away what’s been kept hidden
It’s beautiful, it is unbidden
And it’s longing just to find a home
You’re beautiful as you are, alone

Just A Private Grievance

Is it just a private grievance
Always holding myself back
Because I see the wings of angels
Ready to attack
For all I’m lost and holding
Forever to the degree
It’s infinitesimal
But it means the world to me
To see you reengage
With the world that you know
I’d be waiting for you
I said it to you slow
So the mountains bate their breath
And everything in between
Is like a summer in the winter
Or waking from the dream

A Tentative Flowering

I was the white girl in the room
The first time the end came too soon
And I made tea for Nina and Kamile
And you wouldn’t think it but this shit’s real
As I learn things I didn’t know
About how corporate America go
And tear down the African soul
We’re still the colour the waves roll
And I stood out coz of my skin
I was in the lift just silent with him
And he’s got dreads and is so cool
I tell him about DJ in school
But am I just being tone deaf
To walk the way, well what the eff
And what the hell do I know
The privilege of my skin to show
Why is the world this way
And it’s not just what the country say
It’s continental persecution
You have those lives that are so brutal
Just a struggle to survive
So I can find appliances with which to vibe
And do I just become organic
Does that mitigate the titanic
Task of hunger facing us
Why can’t we just learn to trust
And share like children do
But we grasp onto what we think is true
And defend our own positions
That turn into ammunition
With which we can stare the enemy down
But I’m turning tables as we turn around
To a sudden kind of consciousness
It’s a shift in our distress
Away from the heavy handed tide
I care that every child survives
And has a place to call home
More than adequate and all alone
More than just the mute discard
I acknowledge they have it hard
And there is more that I can do
Just tell me what you
Need from me at any time
I don’t want to hoard what is mine
But open arms and let it be
It’s time to wake up and see
And know and sudden realise
That we are one under the skies
So blue and heavenly open free
You call out and destiny
Will shake and break this whole thing up
There’s got to be more to Love
Than just watching your own back
Or finding somewhere to attack
There is a season true
It’s one for all and all for you

Where To Start

He writes songs about the chad
And the Irish way of feeling bad
About it
But you couldn’t doubt it
When it’s falling from his lips
And it is an eclipse
From the depths of blue rivers run
There’s no way of seeing the sun
Not when he’s got a song
And I’ve gotta say there’s nothing wrong
With all I’ve grown up to be
It’s only now I’m starting to see
The landscape hidden from view
Thanks for sharing your vista
And I know I could’ve missed ya
But I just saw the sea
Rising up from the wintery
Snow that you’ve been freezing in
Abjectly shivering
But put your hands to the blaze
It’s a fire that’s learned to save

Central Park

Is it too long left unspoken
I say, man, I’m only joking
But I’m serious as death can be
I loved you so I set you free
But I spend every moment wishing you were here
I love you so much, my dear
And I every time I fail to catch
I leave the door on the latch
Just in case you’ll walk in
And I make up stories of me and him
To keep me warm in the grey dark
And I just walked around Central Park
Wondering what was there to give
If there’s a life I can let live
But somehow moments in the stunning
And I’m just running, running
Away from this pain that caved inside
Is there a reason why I hide
From all I thought I knew
It all revolves around you

Greatest Regret

Is marriage the line I cannot traverse
And I can only watch them rehearse
And get ready for the big day
Pretend I don’t care anyway
When all I love is walking down the aisle
And seeing you turn and spill a smile
Into my eyes eternally
But you’re looking at her, not me
And I shouldn’t be jealous
Or covet what’s hers
It’s just you were mine
Amongst the firs
As we make Heaven
Come down to Earth
And I wash away
The pain that you hurt
With, to you and many
Now I see her in your gaze
And there isn’t any
Anything I can do to change
The way the molecules rearrange
To the sound of sulfur on your breath
Tinged with my greatest regret

Is This Goodbye

Is this goodbye
Now I’m letting go
Of the pain that had me
Wedded to you, you know
And every tale
I keep in a locket
Is a symbol of
How they forgot it
Coz the season changes
And time renews
And what’s bad in the morning
Becomes old news
I click my heels together
When I hear your name
It’s been an ocean
And I won’t be the same
But loving you slightly
Will always be
Taking a dram
Of straight destiny

Pride

Like a bottle of vitriol 
I keep on call
Like I’m talking to crowds
And then to the wall
Coz I’ve got this pulse
That hammers my veins
And I keep hearing quotes
And magnificent refrains
That call me to be
Something new
And I don’t owe anything
To the memory of you
Coz I fight with the dream
The fabric I’d crafted
I remember the moment
That you felt I laughed at
All you could not be
And you always said
You were jealous of me
And I kept it like a secret
Honor bound
Til you changed your tune
And the sound
Turned to clashing symbols
I’m covering my ears
Waiting for the air to clear
And tell me that I’m
Safe again
And I found dew drops
In the eyes of men
To patch up
What you tore of me
But I love them honest
So I set them free
To keep what I’d taken
In circumstance
But they always
Ask me to dance
And I can’t say no
But where would you go
If you knew the truth
The black mark that became my youth
All because I
Splintered the prose
And you simply
Took another road
That lead you down
An avenue
Don’t say that you miss me
Coz I don’t miss you
And I’m not gonna lie
And say it’s okay
I still remember
The pain of that day
And the weeks and months
And years to follow
When what had been full
Suddenly seemed hollow
And I can’t say that you
Carved out a mark
Coz there are no forms
In the magnificent dark
Only the feeling
That all is well
Is it time
To show and tell

Intensity

I’m burning up like the flow of the river 
As all of life calls me to forgive her
Coz I can’t split in two just to spite my face
Or deny the regard of constant disgrace
And I was only a teen
But I saw through the cracks in the dream
Untoward a vast expanse
Where music makes the people dance
And I feel as though I’m on fire
Like I’ve been lit by something higher
But it always seems to come back to ground
Like I’m rooted in the sound
Of you saying goodbye
Then realizing what it means to die
As I sweated it out in the class
Then fell victim to what could not last
And I stirred on the floor as I heard her call
It was like I’d lost the wall
Separating me from creation
A moment stunned and then elation
You can call it enlightenment or waking up
Or just realizing all is love
Then I see you with your eyes downcast
And I try to forget the past
But the memory of the crush is ever fresh
And I’m still not there yet
At the part they say release
But I may just be at peace

Perforate

Is getting souped up
A safety or a sin
Are they with me
Or out to get him
As we walk on by
Longing for the weather to try
Something we can predict
Did the trouble stick
To your name
She sighs and says they’re all the same
As they pound the beat
With doom walking their feet
Into a crevice
Trying to get out
You look at me
But you are all doubt
And I cannot stare
Once I know what is there
And you’ve outgrown a skin
Looking for days at what’s within

Walk As You

Everyone is in various states of disarray 
They check at the till to see what they’ve to pay
And they click on their phone so they’ll be liked
I’ll always be worried that I’ll ignite
Coz I’m so clearly made of flame
One day they’ll all know my name
And not for the wrong reasons
The time is changing, passing seasons
The leaves fall off the trees
You discard what they believe
Coz it doesn’t fit the shoe
You’ve come to walk as you

As It May Seem

Don’t judge a book by its cover
Do not simply name me lover
Because I’m effusive and full of heart
And only too eager to play my part
Don’t judge the sky by its rain
You know this moment won’t come again
And the clouds that seem to pour themselves down
Will one day be ocean in which you can drown
Don’t judge time by its age
There’s more to ink than what’s on the page
There’s more to be said than what’s verbalized
And I could get lost in his chasming eyes
Don’t judge a star by its light
It will one day run out of jet fuel, alright
And turn black hole dark
Collapse on itself from whence came the spark
Don’t judge me by what I say
I’m iceberg lettuce and I’m deep okay
In your salad green
Not everything is as it may seem
Don’t judge yourself by your pain
Each moment you have will not come again
There’s more to each bar than what’s left ajar
So let go of the journey when it is too far
Don’t judge a route by the road
Each car that you see is eventually towed
Or sold for parts
You can place your stead in the queen of hearts
But don’t judge a night by the moon
That is not there coz before you know soon
Reflected light will perforate
The dream of dark that kept you in that state
Don’t judge a sea by the roll
Of waves that come to crush your soul
If you leave the trees be and get up off your knee
Maybe someday you will finally see
Don’t judge love by its pull
Every headache will eventually dull
And find yourself peace amid what will not cease
I’ve got to let you in on the paper crease

Washed Out To Sea

Before my youth is washed out to sea
I’ve got to stand up and proudly be me
And the ages tick like a clock
Only reflecting all that I am not
Coz the seasons keep changing on a wheel
And I keep saying no deal
Coz I know all that I’ll come to be
And it’s only on the surface that you cannot see
What’s brewing eternally

Old Men Who Stand At The Show

There were so many men
That stood at the show
Most of them
With hair white as snow
If at all
I guess aging
Is it’s own freefall
But the room rose
To congratulate
Them for losing
A peace of slate
On the houses you could build
Nothing can happen unless it’s willed
And some shores come crashing to the sea
But you can’t blame them if you ask me
I see their fragility
As the applause rings
Like the song somebody sings
And it’s an empty refrain
Coz loss is heaven unless it’s pain
And the cataclysm reached my door
I couldn’t say I hate them anymore
Coz nothing but words spell the times
Could you convict them of war crimes
Or all that’s legitimate
It is when there’s a story you’re running with

Down Into The Midnight

I feel myself sinking down into the midnight 
The absence of perfume, the absence of light
The dawn of knowing what you cannot say
The reluctant acceptance of what cannot stay
And I know in the storm there is a break of day
And when you trust in God it’ll all be okay
But sometimes the ocean is just too deep
And I try to catch a few moments of sleep
Before I awaken with a start
Like everything good it comes from the heart

The Thaw

They’re selling an American Dream
But I’m walking on a moonbeam
As it guides my way home
And tells me I’m not alone
As I open out into the vast expanse
Perceive the space as the molecules dance
To make up the shape of me
The frame of what is memory
Held together by a subtle flaw
I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw

That Particles Are Things

You’re burning up the atmosphere
Like the ozone layer is clear
And fuck that bullshit, I spin the dial
And listen to you sincere
Coz the guy beside me loves me
And I love him too
But the worst of the weather
Means it is not you
And closing my eyes is all I can do
So that I won’t know
The places where I should not go
Though they call to me
An elephant graveyard or Eternity
Could you please give me a clue
You laugh and say the answer too!

Hormones

Is it just my hormones
Making me love you
A perfect match
A patch for two
Or is it something deeper
That we might share
I know that I love you
I know that you care
And when all the wilderness
Lets me go
Will I still be there
At the end of the show
Coz I just wanna hold your hand
And have you feel
The decades of love
With which I cannot deal
As they wrap around
The map of your frame
And I twirl on my fingertips
The headtrip of your name

Dancing With

I’ve got the fear of missing out on stuff
And most of that is love
Coz they’ve all got stars in their eyes
And I’m full of existential why’s
As Peter dances with me in the club
I may have kept the ticket stub
As he laughs when I say hi
And I begin to think he’s superfly
But it could never work coz it’s not the dream
And I’m holding out for what could’ve been
Don’t you think you’d know at first sight
And your smile is kryptonite
And there’s nothing more to say
Did I adore the way
Your reflection keeps the style
And I’m down for a long while
And I don’t understand why you’re still on my mind
When I thought that had left nothing in kind
And is it wrong to profess my dues
When I’m walking my own shoes
And have the rhythm of soul
And a heart of fire that’s burning with coal
Do you think we could be something still?
Even if you forget I never will

Ghost City

Do you really want to know what lies in Ghost City
It’s all victimhood and self pity
As the doors all swing shut
And I’m obsessed with the land my heart abuts
Because it’s never right now, it’s always tomorrow
And I make a living out of sorrow
As I trek to nowhereland
Do you know life’s made of sand
And the hourglass holds your hand
As it quietly evaporates
You can journey through many states
But the most valuable just might be
The ones that require integrity
To get through intact
Is it a sin I don’t want you back
And forgiveness flows through my veins
But I’ve spent years in imaginary chains
Thinking of what you did to me
Constructing some kind of history
That makes sense of the haunting tone
When I’m in my room all alone
But it’s always been with me
As I grapple with intensity
And let people believe the lie
That death is when people cry

Paper Trails

Leaving a paper trail of tears behind me
I’m overwrought so never mind me
As I build a new monument to all that’s fallen
I’m in the Deep South and they are drawling
As they curb all anticipation
Can I watch your tv station
Just for a little while
I made you see, you made me smile
And all I can think of is torment
The indigenous people and where they went
Forced across rock and stone
Broken in their skin and bone
But with their Spirit true
I can still have faith in You
As all comes crashing like a wave
Is it sin to abdicate to save
And hold a hand
Is the shore more than sand
And if a rock is hewn to bits
Do you have space to sit with it
Or does its impermanent tone
Remind you what it’s like to be alone
Moving weight like old stone
I’d hold back but I’ve already shown
All of my stars to you
I’ll love you if you want me to

Fighting With The Wind

So mad I’m taking all these pills
As I fight the doctor in a display of wills
But he always seems to win the day
And make the point I’m not okay
And sometimes I agree
As I picture a man down on one knee
That might pick me up
But I’m heavier than the weight of love
Can carry when it all boils down
I spilt the beans, you went to town
Aghast at all the mess is made
You’re throwing the game, I’m throwing shade
And we’re just resting in the silence deep
I don’t want to be less than the promise you keep
As the wings of love glide
I’m coming out of where I hide
To know the sunshine as my true nature
And where you landed left a crater
In the ground of me
Mother Earth or destiny
Shaken to my core
I try not to love you anymore
But it just pulls me back
Don’t see me as just a hack
That has to get her stories down
I hum as I drive out of town
Past a scene I know so well
If I shared a secret would you never tell?

Rewriting The Rulebook

She’s rewriting the rule book
Like I did with a school look
As I ran up and down the halls
Some are chasing dreams, I’m chasing walls
To keep me safe and closeted in
But it takes a breath for the night to begin
And once it does you can’t go back
Obsessed with how they have all you lack
And she shines
But I’ve written that story a thousand times
As I begged to be let in
Then got caught in the full glare of a grin
That suddenly shone on me
Asked for my hand and my integrity
And I fell victim to
An obsession with the form of you
When the midnight calls my name
And I nonchalant all the same
Your absolutely sincere
Does intimacy mean more than near
Coz this close is comfortable
Like we’re both being vulnerable
And almost to touch
I gotta say I love you so much
Behind the folds of a page
This moment will never age

39000 Feet

We’re up here at 39000 feet
Where the cold is warm as the elements meet
And make a force of nature new
If you don’t know I’m talking about you
As somewhere we swim inside the depth
And the best thing about Now is what is unmet
By the forest in kind of trees and of beers
And I lost myself in the years and years
Trying to find what can’t be described
All the while knowing I’m still alive
Coz I feel this heart beat through my skin
But there’s a part of me that’s deeper within
Than any skin and bone can mend
And death is simply not the end
Just a continuum of undefended peace
Or a moment of great release
As all of the sidewalks lead into one
Trust in God and in the Son

Own What’s Mine

There was a panic at the disco when I walked in
And I threw my coke at the guy who flashed me a grin
And grabbed my ass
Without ever thinking to ask
Me for the time of day
Hey, bro it’s not okay
And I’m more than forests green
I’m much more than I may seem
And someday in the starshine
I will come to really own what’s mine

The Ocean And The Sky

Settling into the ocean
I’m not afraid of the fear of motion
And everything is all commotion
It’s bliss to miss what they call devotion
And I’m always wiser when I’m drunk
Trying to sip my way out of a ship that’s sunk
Trying to talk my way out of this funk
Without having to shake my junk
And I know that’s kind of crass
To think you have to move your ass
To get any kind of attention
I’m growing but I dare not mention
What I have to do to be me
I will not sacrifice my dignity

Her Love

Her love is tragedy
Like she could pageant me
And I can see the loss
The way she dots her t’s
And if I love her
It’s my disease
But she picks me up
Off from my knees
When I’ve been crying
For a season
Like this pain
Comes without any reason
And the doubt
Holds me together
She patches me up
Despite the weather

Sweet Guy

The guy in the line was really sweet
And I wonder about fate and how we meet
Under the sky of a new sun
And anybody could be the one
With your jet black hair and stolen eyes
The way you say there are no lies
And I’ve always been one of the guys
But love takes my hand to my own surprise
As I revel in misery and the grief
Of losing all that I invest belief
In now the times are dual
But Advaita is beyond the rule
Of anything that dare contain
Can you learn to love the pain