Pondering my own sentience
I lie on the sitting room floor
And there’s dust on my trousers
And hounds at the door
Coz there’s something in the silence
That keeps me still awake
And I’ve outgrown the cuts
And the people that call me fake
For just being as I am
And doing as I do
I was not placed upon this earth
Just to please you
And you’ve got people in the sunshine
People in the summer
You don’t know it at the time
But when they call your number
You must be ready to stand up
For all and sundry around
I close my eyes and feel
It in my ears as my heart pounds
To remind me that I’m living
For another steady beat
And there was some darkness
And walking on the street
Just to fill a gap
That was never empty
It’s been so long in years
Since I was twenty
But I’m still pretty young
So I guess that it’s okay
I’ll just bite my nails
Until the break of day

Great Big Ocean

I thought the great big ocean would find me
But it’s always been just the tide
Counting the beats of my step
To the heart that keeps me alive
And the summers in the city
Where I counted my blessing
He asked me if I was serious
I said shur I’m only messing
And the wild within me got unlocked
Like a fabled Pandora’s box
All the crucible to fly
Is to live to know how to die
Coz we’re born with these bodies
We don’t know how to use
Then we get attached
To something we lose
And every breath is a tear
With a fragrance of flower
But people are reckless
When they have power
And moan and shine and wither and break
Then tell you they do it for your sake
But it could never tally up
Not when you call it love
And I had a bite of the unconditional
Now I move and walk and it’s not volitional
Coz she spilt the beans on me
Now every secret’s flying free
And a demolishment has been rendered
In the space my hope engendered
It cascaded tears
Now I measure the war in years
That I’ve been through
And I blame you
For all the absent meanders
I don’t have all the answers
But can I learn to be a little less jaded
The pain’s the same but the scars have faded
And I only give leave for a moment to be
The epitome of running free

If You’re Logged In
If you’re logged in 
I hope you see
The monument
You are to me
And I’m looking up
You’re looking down
And babe we could run this town
If it was a two by two
I’m getting a home ready for you
As I make the tea
And we find our way when we can’t see
And maybe it is wrong
To covet the fold
But the path you walk
Is solid gold
As arms wrap around
Did you hear the sound
Of our silence dear
Isn’t the water pretty clear
When it’s still in a pond
And, no, I amn’t gone
Just waiting in the wings
And my heart it sings
For you, my love
You set the fire, I’ll free the dove

The Line

I hear the bullet ricochet
As you utter truth
I’d say I love you
But you’re such a brute
To give and leave and take away
All that had come to stay
With me for all of time
You say that the fault is mine
But I hear the chime
Of wind bells on the porch
I know I seem out of sorts
But it’s just dealing with the loss of you
And the trauma of what you put me through
Just to prove that you were right
You rained Heaven onto a darkened night
And I’m still living by candlelight
Since the power cut
I don’t think I’m in a rut
It’s just no one sees me clear
And, God knows, I hold you dear
But there’s too much storm in the air
So I high tailed it outta there
And now you’re mad as hell
But I never tell
You what I really feel
Coz I know you cannot deal
With the intense focus of my desire
And you may be all fire
But I am wind and air
And it blew you away, me being there
And I laugh and you deny
That I ever made you cry
But sometimes tears fall like rain
I know I’ll see you again


Letting go of what he did to me
Letting go of what she said
Letting go of the nightmares
That haunt me troubled in bed
Coz I’m living untethered
I’m a wildebeest at heart
And all I seem to know how to do
Is make my pain into art
And I paint my own canvas
I love the glorious white
But the colours of rainbow
Make the fire in me ignite
And I throw in some earphones
It’s punk rock and emo lite
I nod to the folks you asked
If I was alright
And I’ve got fury
Burning a candle
Maybe I’m just too hot to handle
But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars
Rules the conduct in the passing of stars
And you’ll never be able to touch
What is beyond your reach
I didn’t come here for students
I’m not one who has to teach
To live my own compass point
It’s been years since the Love anoint
Me with its holy Chrism
I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him
And He brushes my hair out of my face
Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste
Of what it must be like to live in the realm
Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm
In the midnight of another sorrow
I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow
From the sun that gives me life
Seems the setting shade gives you twice
The morning on replay
It’s always bright at the break of day

A Shimmer Ghost
It’s a shimmer ghost
All this walking by the coast
To make the shoreline real
But I cannot deal
With the forest of you come alive
Babe, I barely survive
Amid all the throwing knives and flames
The taking part, not taking names
In the avenues we touch
But, honey, you cannot rush
What always is, was or will be
The river empties into the sea
So we can keep the cycle going
I don’t know if there’s a way of knowing
What it’s really worth
In the monuments to hurt
They build on a skyline
Then roll it round another time
Like seeing the towers crash
Or the whip crack another lash
On innocent skin and bone
Where is hate when it’s at home
And can we repaint the dial
I’m not just trying to make you smile
But something real to pull through
The goings tough but I know that you
Can do it if you want
And no ghost has to haunt
The doorstep that you darken
The blade is clear, you don’t need to sharpen
It to make it more humane
This deluge is a cloud of rain

The Day The Glass Cracked On My Telescope
And It was the day the glass cracked on my telescope
I gave up heaven, I gave up hope
As you seem to let it slide
Do you even know I’m alive
Or that you are too
I woke up to the absence of you
When I needed you most
I just stare at the phone you ghost
Like tomorrow’s lullaby awake
What’s the point, for fucks sake
As you travel through the mud
I wish I could say I would
But the final straw on the camel’s back
And I’m not down and you attack
Me for my lack of flavor
But, honey, I’m not your saviour
And I can’t raise the rushes you grow
I just wanted you to know
That I held our memory dear
But you made the moment crystal clear

The Girl That Stands On Guard

She’s got it on lock
The dark she is not
She’s stellar, she’s a star
And I wonder what you are
As we fight to keep our heads above water
Swimming in currents that aim for caught her
As we span the ocean in a gaze
I wonder how many people she’s saved
As she throws a glance like a dagger across the room
And I dunno how to work the zoom
Function on my camera
But I just tie my bandana
Red around my head
And there have been so many left dead
By the dark side of the human psyche
I keep wondering what it is that ignite me
So I can burn like a fire in the hearts of men
Is it going to happen again
Or have we turned a corner on life on earth
Is there depth to transcend the hurt
Or will the storm come to rage once more
I knock a rap upon the door
Coz I have to be let in
I know that there’s something there in him
That can spin a dial so right
I walk by the light
In your window
Is it a sin though
To see what’s really beating a heart
If we abdicate do we take part
In the slow drive to floor
The ground that crashes to meet us, a stór
Or can stars hold space
For us as we lay waste
To all we’ve known
Have the people grown
Up and out of a tendency
But I feel the collective pull at me
To get me to identify
But I can’t let the children cry
For what we’ve done to them and us
Is it a mirror of broken trust
That we catch ourselves upon
We’re going down but love isn’t gone
Not yet or forever
Can we be the sky that knows the weather
That spins a chrysalis
As a diamond kiss
The pressure that we’ve known thus far
I feel like we can only drive this car
A certain length down the road
Has our maturity showed
As we stand up to the shelter
I close my eyes coz this is a belter

Incognito Window

Incognito window, I’m under the radar
I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar
But I know that I can make planets spin
With the love that’s inside and the peace within
And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees
There are no words for the wonder it frees
When the weight just drops
The what you are’s in the space the love’s got
And I am not a mountain but I am not hill
I can move power with the strength of will
And she never helped me out
But I guess that’s just the space in doubt
To be forgotten or held so close
Do you see through what I love the most
Or must I just let it die
Not be afraid to spill tears and cry
Over what is yet to come
And a woman takes away the man’s son
What can you do but acquiesce
The movement’s in the way you dress
And shoulder weight like diamond mines
I’d let it go coz it’s fine
In the sunshine and the rain
I don’t think that I can do this again
So I relinquish the right to be wrong
And open heart into a song
To make it alright again
I give up on the world you spin

Echoed Through These Halls

The sound of you
Has echoed through these halls
And it’s bringing down barriers
And cavernous walls
Until all is a grand open space
With not one instant of my time gone to waste
And I hit pause in 2011
All because the sound of Heaven
Was just too damn real
And you’re not the boy I want to steal
Away with into the night
But you came close to it, alright
And I spill ink on the canvas I draw
I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw
In the sunlight you bequeath
And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet
But you turn my face upward with your palm
You look at me and I am calm
I’m the storm that surround
You are worth the way it resounds
And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient
I’m an artist and I try to paint it
But it never lives up to what you are
A feeble try to condense a star
Into matter and fusion
But it was just confusion
To say I don’t love you so
And I just want you to know
That you crack the glass with your smile
And I dream of you for a little while
But it is real as can be
I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea

The Long Walk

Muddy shoes walk all over my floor
As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore
And it could be Christ the King
Or the boy with a broken wing
All I know is that the stars announce
The girl I was, the one that you denounce
As I place one foot in front of another
Never knew what it was like to have a brother
Who watches my back
Just a girl and the attack
Was launched on me
Fifteen years and I’m still not free
Of what she inflicted
And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it
It just I carry the scar that hurts
I blame you for it and what’s worse
Is that I make myself suffer for what never was
I don’t know gravity because
When I was brought down to earth
I was in open space and the dirt
Is evidence on my coat
That I met a Holy Ghost


The fear of missing out
Haunts my sideboard
Coz nothing’s enough
I swear on the word
That I utter
Under my breath
I’m on my way
But I’m not there yet
And everything glistens
Like sunny snow
Out of my reach
But don’t you know
It’s closer than it was
And I didn’t break any laws
When I wished you down
I tore the tatters on my gown
Into the shape of a badass queen
What if this is just a dream
That is happening in consciousness
Do you trust
In the powers that be
Is it ok or will we see
What is coming down the line
There was that moment you stopped time
And I was taken by an intake of breath
It’s sharp and I cannot forget
It’s impact on my soul
I keep catching glimpses of being whole

In His Eyes And In His Hair

I dunno if it would be a sin
But I would like to make sweet love with Fin
It’s in his eyes and it’s in his hair
It’s in his way of just being there
And answering me when I ask a question
Though I may be prone to suggestion
When he drops a line on my telephone
And I can feel that I’m not alone
In this world we call suffering and plight
But I think it just might be alright
As a new day dawns and succumbs
To the growing up when you are youngs
Or as the girl says as she drums
Her breath against the walls of her lungs
It it just like I thought it would be
Like you’re an ocean and I love the sea
To be tranquil and to be still
I’ve overcome hate but it wasn’t with will
It was with the simple joy of the act
And they way you trust when there’s no turning back
In a pair of hands he just held out
Like you’re the beauty I hate to doubt
But I do coz everything’s thin
But I’m full of peace when I’m with him
Like he came to me to be my savior
Like the bar and he knew how to raise her
Up from where she lay askance
And suddenly this life’s a beautiful dance
That has all atoms singing in motion
No neighbors to say it’s just commotion
But a heavenly chorus unto the dawn
One minute it’s there and the next it’s gone
But there’s something steady in all the rubble
And you speak to me from beyond the trouble
To a place safe and warm
Like we have weathered the worst of the storm
In being together when the night
Closes in and we have to fight
Even to breathe into the sky
People come and go and then they die
As everything reborn renews
And I forget to pay my dues
Coz I just can’t be bothered with anything sunny
I know you’re laughing but it isn’t funny
How I got into this state
From Armageddon to irate
To all is quiet on the western front
Til he takes a bite and chews the brunt
Of the worst of it all
I held out my hand and you’re my freefall

The Occidental Perambulation

It’s so easy to see it in someone else
So hard to manage my mental health
Coz I feel the tightrope laid out for walking
People have their opinions but they’re just talking
As I balance on a line I pray won’t fray
Coz I’ve lost seasons to the going away
And somewhere in the weather a monumental tome
Whispers to me, so soothe me, you’re not alone
And I crack like an egg at the edge of the bowl
Searching for a reason to make me whole
And she’s got it like atoms bound together so tight
Quark an oblivion into the night
And it’s some days on Monday’s I just like to run
Up the hill and down coz baby it’s fun
As I feel my limbs unloosen like rain
As if the release is coming again
And I hid in the tree up on a branch
If I lived in Texas I would own a ranch
To let animals roam free without care
If you think to cross me, baby, don’t dare
Coz I’m dynamite and you sit on the fuse
Crackling amber like there’s nothing to lose
And the sparks that you make warm me and threaten
To let loose all the eons I’ve spent regretting
The time that has passed or didn’t so
You hurt me so deeply so I let you go
But I’m always wanting to see you again
I get lost in the rouge of the colour of men
Coz they’re so fly it’s near as they open their eyes
Like winds blowing doors to adjacent surprise
And it was nothing but all up in the air
When he said hello and I knew he was there
As I faltered a goodbye or a maybe someday
But I let him in and it’s not going away
Though we both slam shut to a degree
And I’d be the more likely down on one knee
As the rivers race oceans to get to the shore
Absence is fondness and I love him more
For all of the ways we can’t be together
I look up at the sky and say, hey man, that’s weather

Conflicting Desires

There are eddies in the pool
And people used to laugh at school
When I’d make a faux pas
Remember that time we did “I’ll Tell Me Ma”
And the whole crowd were in sync
It worked better than you might think
And I liked the dude
There’s a kind of cool you exude
Just by standing there
And I’m caught in my hair
Twirling a single strand
On the spot whereupon I stand
And you didn’t have to ask
But I think I saw behind the mask
And now I’ve got no way to pretend
That my love will never end
As I grasp the clasp you let go
And I hope you’re happy with so and so
But I’ve got to let the whole thing drop
It’s not about the bad cop
It’s just about me living like a thief
Stealing moments of belief
That are strung together by truth
That I make from memories of my youth
And am I old at thirty two
This poem will age and so will you
With the doubt I have so blue
Don’t play the tune if you don’t want to

One More

Taking my meds with a glass of brandy
And I dunno man I’m just taking it handy
And that’s not any kind of recommendation
But I’m sipping gin and the tv station
Sings of a land I don’t understand
Partner track and the underhand
But I’m lazy and I’m catching flies
Why is it everything that’s born dies
And why must I be protected from the realisation
That inner being is elation
And it’s not any kind of ruse
You could say that it’s soul food
To eat like the point you prove
Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes
Instead of run from where you are
You’re shining, you fuckin star

Out There

My love hasn’t changed 
Though the atoms have rearranged
And come to form a celestial sphere
But vibrate when the glass clear
And wipe the window clean
Like it is some kind of dream
That I believe in or don’t
They tell me to leave it but I won’t
Coz you are the summer weather I crave
Not the man I came here to save
Not an ocean to span
And my voice shakes but I speak because I can
And utter the syllables long on my tongue
You’re not just a season of being young
But the epitome I’ve come to cherish
It’s okay if it’s too much to relish
In the break of dawn
A moment there and then it’s gone

Look Twice

I thought it was done
Thought we were through
But I keep on coming
Back to you
And that guy
I said was nice
Did, I admit,
Make me look twice
Coz I saw in him
What I felt with you
And now it’s one
Instead of two
And I’m sizing up
The competition
But I gotta say
There’s no ammunition
In my rounds of guns
I keep seeing stars
And suns
In the eyes
I swore to decry
This love is never
Gonna die

Crying In The Day

The avenue tear away the sky
Coz everyone has to die
It’s a gate we must all go through
But it’s no consolation losing you
And I claw and scratch
Against the force of time
Coz I can’t really call anything mine
And you’re like space or air
But I know you’re there
I feel you right by my side
As though you were still alive
And is it really what we think
The nights we used to have a drink
By the fire
Now you’re somewhere higher
But does that mean gone
It’s like life is just so long
And the weary learn to hang their heads
While the rest lie abed
And I just want to scream
Til someone steps in and reminds me it’s a dream
And sudden calm
And the pain is just to ring the alarm
To wake me up
And you are present love
In every breath I take
I don’t do it for my sake
But for something I can’t put name to
For now let’s call it all for You

A Break In The Weather

There’s a break in the weather
The sun shines through
And don’t you know
It’s coming from you
As I try to come to terms
With the anger within
And all that never
Lived up to him
As he dances
Across the screen
Making my life
And someone else’s dream

All For You

She lies in bed
Coz she can’t get up
But it ain’t depression
It is love
And the dearth of a need
To move at all
What’s wrong, they say
But it’s a freefall
And there’s open air and space
The old guard gone without a trace
Coz I sigh
This is not goodbye
But a hello to a new realm
And they are all the same
With their witchy ways and locks
But he knows how to make the bed rock
With his sudden sigh
And am I wrong or is he a little shy
Around me
It confounds me
How they could eat up time
And rub a ring until it shine
Like a new pearl
I gave my heart
You gave me the world

A Millennium Prayer

A millennium prayer for a new generation 
Don’t be held down by your own education
And I always felt loved
From aside and above
Like some giant grants my wish
And tells me that life is a gift
Coz the present moment is always here
And I will always hold you dear
Though you defy
The law I’ve laid down to try
To keep smacht on this whole thing
I jump when the phone ring
As it brings sad news through
Like the day I lost you
Cracked at the edge of the glass
How could love not last
I think I’ve been seeing it wrong
Because you are so strong
And nothingness can’t take you into its fold
But it’s lifeless the hand I hold
Coz you are long gone from here
But somehow you’re ever near
In every step I walk
And in my voice when I start to talk
About my memory of us
And there’s something I just trust
To hold firm
I guess time and I had to learn

The Battlestorm

The battlestorm rages outside my window
I do not aim to let it in though
It shatters the windows and shakes down the hall
Like I’m running in a free for all
And is it just ego, this creation I’ve made
Not for the saving but salvation be saved
From the minute and limited form
What does it take to keep the world warm
And are we all just spiraling in our creation
I get up from the wound in my education
To stand up tall just as I am
And the man says that there is no plan

The Clarion Call
I’ll be the clarion call
To let the demons out
The things that people suffer under
The fear, my dear, self doubt
And they locked me up in ashes
But I still was free
Coz even though they do their best
They can’t get the best of me

And the clock ticked, did it go back
Am I getting enough of slumber
And but for the men I loved
I woulda been just a number
In that place where the halls have eyes
And everyone walks tiptoe
It’s eggshells we’re treading on
So that you might not know

And I had a bed and my own room
It was number sixteen
And I’ve been dealing with this kind of shit
Since I realized the dream
As I hop on a hopscotch
Afraid to cross the line
Is there a difference between being here
And doing hard time

And I hid out in the activity room
Rifling through a storm
I hope they might not find me
That’s how I kept the candle warm
But they did and told me so
There was a place to greet
But I’m moving dough with my hands
Can’t make it move my feet

And the third time I was in there Barry called my name
He asked if he could speak to me, if it was all the same
But he was laughing sideways
Out of the corner of his mouth
He thinks that he might have a clue
As to what I’m all about
And, God love him, he was precious
But he set the dial to spin
So I called the shots and called it off
Walked out of the room with him

And, the laughter, it was breaking like a wave upon the shore
I left the card on my desk so that it might love me more
And my sides they’d split with Aoibhínn coz she was such a hoot
She talked me out of dangerously quiet as I stood mute

And I drew an eye on the wall in the smoking room
It was a lot more like freedom than it was the bells of doom
And they only scrubbed it out a year later and I see
There was a part of them that loved a part of me
Or with a certain fondness I recall what they say
It’s not the present moment but you will be okay
So I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the bin
Conceded defeat coz you know I cannot win

And the monuments of time will fall beneath the sea
But there’s something eternal that beats the heart of me
And I can’t put my finger on it or tell you what it is
Only suffice to say that being born is not to live
Beyond the realms of death
In the halls that I vacate
I think they had me wrong
Coz I love the thing they hate

And summon up a showstorm
In the dead of the night
The sun that is within me
Can’t help but be bright
As all I ever am
And all I’ll ever be
I can’t bring myself to regret
That I asked you to dance with me

On That Jag (Know ‘Bout Me)

It’s my name, it’s my words
And there’s something you must not have heard
Coz I’m so superfly I’m down with the wolves
And I’m not gonna lie
Your drawing pulls
And I resist
But when I do I barely subsist
And you don’t see the pride
That keeps this heartbeat alive
And I’m not coming back
So don’t attack
It’s useless anyway
I’m more than what I say
I’m am what I’m gonna be
It’s not my fault that you don’t see
All that Being does
Lost in the memory of what was
Inherent in the design
Is that I am fine
When you let the thread go slack
It took a while but I got the knack
Of it at last
The Present Moment will never be past

Opening Hearts

I unlock my phone
And Chocolate opens
Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding
And you’re too sweet to be believed
You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve
Only an endless free terrain
And I’ve spent years studying your pain
From afar
And Teresa named a star
After me
So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see
Under ever present heavens
We were both born on elevens
And so I tick my clock
Wondering what it is you’re not
In all that you claim to be
You were my favorite song to see

Shadow Work

Shadow work
I wade through the dirt
That rises in our wake 
The sandstorm is so hard to shake 
And I filter it down to something simple
You pop it like a pimple 
Coz we are One
But we are two
Some Advaita
To soothe you 
Into a lull where you will listen
To my hands as the snowdrops glisten
On your skin like stone
Where's twilight when it's at home
But we're no creature and his prey
We're fighting just to get through the day
With our wands and magic paper 
You said goodbye and I, see you later
And will tomorrow be too soon
For us to share a room
Coz you move me with a stare
I didn't look but I knew you were there
I could just sense it in the stance
Of a heart which started to dance
At the mere sight of my form
And I feel my cheeks get warm
Knowing that you're just inches away
Are there words to make you stay
Or is everything all up in the air
All I know is that you were there 
And so was I 
I feel the moment start to die
As a grim realisation overcomes
And my charm just succumbs 
To some preordained reality
I never claimed infallibility
Just that I'm here to stay
And stay in love with you too, okay? 

Twin Flame Runner/Chaser Dynamic

One of us comes 
The other one goes
I wear the pants
He just knows
And we found love
Where it can dance
Did you take a breath
Or a second chance
On the money
Or off the floor
What is it about love
That we adore
Coz you're summer
I'm winter
We're a cyclical thing
And I know it's real 
When I hear the bell ring
And we lift off
The ground is below
The air is free
But do you go 
When I open my heart
And pour out my wounds
I didn't think the end
Would come so soon
And you're looking past me
Into the sky
What's it about love
That will neither live nor die

A New Era

Do you see society crumbling
The meaning come apart
And if it flakes at the edge
Before the breakdown start
But I have another vision
Beyond the ramparts of division
One where we can recognize
That difference is where opportunity lies
And the wonder of all things is this
Is that you and I never kiss
In the world of form
And the storm
Knocks on my window and breaks down my door
But it only makes me want you more
As you lie somewhere askance
Would you laugh if I asked you to dance
And took your hand for a second time
But the first to make you mine

Evolving Into

I was something
And I could see
A new and different version of me
And it’s come to pass
That I have come to ace the class
Of transformation
Coz they flick the tv station
But the score
Is always I want more
Than what is
But I am His
And I found in life
A reflection of his beauty
In a man and it’s my duty
To explain that I
See through the body that die
Into the effortless supreme
I gasped and it woke the dream

Winter Weather And Summertime Seasons

Leaving Easter Eggs all over town
So someone might find them when they take it down
And I may be colossus but summer’s in my veins
Though I’ve got to say I’m open to rains
As they pour down from the sky
There’s something within me that’s not gonna die
No matter the seasons or passing of time
It is a wondrous crime
To look Death in the face
And tell him it’s not the time and place
To go standing around stores
And I’ve always wanted more
Than just the simple life I live
Why is it so hard to forgive
Coz she crushed the flower I held out
Now I second guess my own doubt
When I’m relying on love
To heal all ills
But I’m lost in the woods
Now I’m taking pills
Just to make the trees have leaves
And it’s not everything that Truth believes
Only solid ground on a pine cone floor
Oh, this Earth and all I adore

Your Own

You showed me the sky
It was your own shade of blue
And there is a timelessness
That lives in you
And everyone you touch
Is a resonant hum
It took me ten years
To see you’re the One
The One in All
The Jesus who stands
The love of my life
When I’m holding your hands
And they’re soft to the touch
And gentle and warm
Who’d ever have known
We’d have kicked up a storm
Like dust under feet
When the wind blows a tune
Something is echoing
Now you’re in the room

Man Of My Dreams

Monika Luniak
He’s gotta be cool and he’s gotta be sweet
And it’s gotta be fireworks the day that we meet
It’s gotta be sunshine, it’s gotta be rain
And it’s gotta be turmoil not seeing him again
And what if the person I describe is you
I wonder would you describe me too
If you could put pen to write out a list
Second guess what I dismissed
As only passing, temporary, soul
But it’s like making music at the Super Bowl
There’s a crowd there that will cheer
And far away seems so near
When you are so close
Temporal as a Holy Ghost
To reach up and touch
The man I love so much

Exhausting My Potentiality
Exhausting my potentiality
I throw it all at the screen
Then wake up in the morning
Is this just a dream
Coz we’re born then we die
With a few years in between
What is the difference
Between pauper and queen
When in the final reckoning all is one
As sure as the earth revolves around the sun
The Love keeps us all burning bright
But there are things I wonder when I lie awake at night
As in how could it cease just to create
Tell me in time that I don’t need to wait
As the sky comes down to earth
In the moment it heals my hurt
And shows me a summer no winter can harm
And any pain just rings the alarm
To let me know to investigate
That something approaching the notion of hate
Has taken root in my being
I rub my eyes so I know that I’m really seeing
What’s in front of me
I learned less is more, that’s my degree

Turns Out Freedom on Instagram
Say you’ll stay friends
Then just eclipse out of each other’s lives
Say it’s forever
But it barely survives
And it turns out freedom
Is wishing you were near
Turns out evasion
Is holding you dear
As you crack a smile
That spans the whole sky
And I re-enter earth
Just to learn how to die
Coz the wings I’ve grown
Just to fight gravity
Have become an ongoing
Hinderance to me
As I must soar
Only to touch down
Oh, the constant draw
Of the ground
Like you set sail
And push off the shore
But leaving the land
Makes it want you more
Like the end of a rope
Tied to a bucket
Dip it into the well
But, man, fuck it
You only go in
Just to be pulled out
Now full of water
To add to your doubt
And it’s not eternal
This coming and going
I look out the window
And it is snowing
But the seasons only show you
What’s left to rest
Give me Infinity
That I cannot test

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My Secret Escape
I had feelings for you back in the day
But then I just used you to explain Darragh away
And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping
The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping
In the recesses of my soul
Is there a together in the growing old
Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth
Find our own way in the dark
As he speaks to me
Weaving a thread on the tapestry
To paint the picture of us
And we’ve always had trust
Why did you hide your face
So I couldn’t keep you in place
Where you were
Let you run off with an adjacent her
In the winter of my life
Moored in strife
As the cavalry came
To take all but my name from me
Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion
I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in
A moment of truth
And I can’t claim the auspices of youth
Is that you at my door?
Well, for God’s sake come in!
You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him

My Heart
Don’t leave your emeralds spread out on the shore
Coz if he wanted you he wouldn’t adore
The sand he shares with someone else
And you have your own particular wealth
And they all agree
That he isn’t meant for me
Coz he has a home already made
And I’m just standing in the shade
That is cast by a vast tree
And my ocean is all at sea
Why do I fight what I know
What is it in me that just won’t let go
What’s been held onto for so long
I always tried to be strong
And make my pain into a song
Don’t come back now and say it’s wrong

Here I Come
Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene
I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream
And his words are fuckin’ insane
But I still remember his name
And the way his hair curls around in locks
The way he walks a palace that time forgot
And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day
At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay?
And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said
You’re always making your home where you lay your head
And find something honest and real and true
That was just with them and now it’s with you
In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain
I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain
To be the storm centre, the very eye
Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die
At least for another fifty or so years
Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears
And look up to the heavens when the sky clears
I drink one to you when I’m having my beers
I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw
When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law
That seems to hold court and company
I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee
Professing my love to the moon and stars
Do you remember the days when it was prison bars
And nothing meant anything to anyone you know
Now you wave at me as I watch you go
With the train that has taken you from the station
I guess congrats are in order for the celebration
Of all you have earned that is duly yours
And I know you could say that this is all words
When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps
Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps
And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you
You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new
Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew
You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue
So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes
And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes

Finding The Balance

Finding the balance between this and that
And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back
And I am loved and I’m secure
I’m wading in water but the current is pure
And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky
Poised between to live and to die
And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in
And it’s over before it really ever begin
It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance
Hold out my hand to you to dance
And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will
Like drinking in water til you have your fill
The sunset, the morning, the consuming night
I know in the end we’ll all be alright

The Monuments To Loss
Death, looming like a great paragon on the horizon
I don’t know what to take a side on
But I know I can’t stay on the fence
Or civilization will be in the past tense
As we see the aching Colosseum stand for war
But it crumbles in the end because of what it’s for
And we hear the machine gun roll
But they can’t kill the soul
And it will come round to embrace
The very worst of the human race
Til we’re all tended like wheat in the field
The wind shakes the barley and it yield
To the power of peace and benevolence
As we watch the rhythm dance
Like a song across the grass
The only truth in my life is that Love last
And in the oceans that span a sea
There’s a depth to you and me
That no wonder can contain
Let’s wake without the pain
To prompt us to stir
Do you even know what we were
As we wear that t-shirt too
I was born in the moment I met You

Second State Fine

There’s a new thing brewing
But can it keep its head
Cause the parapet is raised
And so many people lie dead
But I climb up the rock
There’s a world of things that I am not
As the sun in the sky
Shines over the seas as they go by
And it’s hopping over there
On the Western front and I care
About how it all goes down
I left half my heart in that town
And now I go back
Before the attack
In shoes that I can walk
What does it take to see through the talk
Into what is true
Is there any way I can save you
From your fate
The demolition that lies in wait
I shake the dust off my shoulders
I’m like Icarus chasing boulders
That have no business in that myth
But the world is chomping at the bit
And this is just a dragon I dance with
In my hope for a new born truth
A time beyond the confines of youth
As we let the shackles drop
What does it take for one person to say stop
And breathe
What do the people need
Can we shift the scene
Out of this nightmarish dream
I know no one who can say
That everything is okay
When we just let it crumple
If there’s lightning then thunder will rumble

I don’t want to start a fight
I don’t wannna take aim
It’s just I catch my breath
When I see her name
Next to yours instead of mine
It walks over me like a thousand times
And I know she’s real nice but I would wait
Until you trace the hands of fate
And saw it bring you to my side
In your presence I’m alive
And soaring like a bird in flight
And I know you might be alright
But I’m nothing without you my sweetest babe
I don’t even have the room to save
Myself from the gnashing of teeth
I think I’m stranded on the beach
Waiting for my ship to come in
And don’t you know it’s always Him
No matter what is said to deter
And I just wish the best for her
Because she kept you close when times were tough
And my excuse is simply not enough
And I know I was away
And you would always say
You wanted someone
And being too young
Is no reason to protest
I looked away, you did the rest
As the cymbal clattered to the floor
And I’ve never wanted anything more
Than I want you now
But I gotta give space to allow
You to have your breathing room
I loved you too late after too soon
Coz you stride across the hill
I look up and still
I see you standing there
With the wind in your hair
And your magnitude
Just a really cool dude
To open my eyes into
I know it’s not enough that you
Loved me then before I let you go
I’m writing this so you know
That your soul has a place beside the embers I warm
And you can chill by the heat of the storm
And I know it’s really bad form
To tell you this now when true love has been born
And I see you with her
And what we were
Is just echoes now in my mind
As I’m sad over what I’ve left behind
And you say it’s gone
But I can hear it in that song
You play when you think nobody cares
But I look through it all with devil may cares
And your silhouette
Is not something I could ever forget
As the stars
Make magical music out of the bars
That hold me in
If only I could get to him
But it’s a futile shot
He only sees all that I’m not
Nor could be
I amn’t she
And we
Could never refresh
The page easily
As a new sky dawns
And our youth is almost nearly gone
Eaten up by time
Like the melody you sang with the line
When you didn’t know
That you are everywhere I go
In college days
I find you there in so many ways
Just a glance
A laugh, a second chance
The fear
The feeling you close as though you are near
In the library
But you’re kissing her beside me
I just don’t see
Til now, at least, an infinity
And, love, will you ever know
That I stared at you headlong until I go
Back to your door
Rap a knock like a mini score
But you adore
The Goddess you found by the shore
And I know
Though I implore
Everything’s settled on the ground floor
And foundations deep
Underlie all that you intend to keep
And just a day
A million light years away
Can’t convince
You to change your mind since
I showed up
I don’t even know if you could call this love
It’s just you’re everything I’m thinking of
And the sky
Holds nothing to the blue of your eye
Black hole deep
Full of the light that it will keep
From a million stars that throw away
Their beams to your frame as you walk away
And I
Will love you like this til the day that I die
And cry
That we never got to be
As he takes the role of the quintessential he
Of my dreams
I know it’s not all that it seems
And I’m not Einstein
But would I be a fool to call you mine
In another dimension
One without all the surface tension
And suspense
We climbed out of both of our tents
Never knowing what’s in store
Where the zip on the line made way for a door
And you, effervescent you, just laugh
You don’t do things by half
Do you
And if it means that much to
You I will love her too
Celebrate the days of you
Two down in the park
Before I even knew that we start
Oh, the longing to be
Somewhere near your soliloquy
But it just rhymes somewhere in the distance
And I give up on the resistance
And allow
You to live your own life somehow
Just know
I love you deep like the mountain of snow
That rolls down avalanche cloud
My voice is shaking but I say it out loud
And the words don’t make sense and you’re shouting at me
Something about nothing and our history
And the lines blur
You were always with her
In the years
And the tears
And you see
This, you and I, and Infinity


I spent my youth fearing old age
Now I’m finally flipping the page
And finding out that the aforementioned
Is really not in this dimension
Because I extend out
Far beyond the realms of doubt
To the furnace roar and the circumstance
Do you know the electrons dance
In perpetual motion
And nothing can replace devotion
In the furthering of things
And a million rings
Cannot make me replace
The love that I came here to taste
And just drink in
It wasn’t just with him
But everyone
Everyone the immaculate Son
Of Destiny
Do you think he thinks of me
With his hand on the trigger
A rifle to fire
But love’s not down low
But somewhere higher
To take in the vista
And one can only say “I missed ya”
If you believe the lie
People we love cannot die
But fly
On immutable wings
And everything in creation sings
Of its unborn nature
My love, I could never hate ya

As Cyclical As The Sun
I go down and come back up
As cyclical as the sun to rise
I’m never lost in rainy weather
But it’s under blue skies
Coz summer comes and summer goes
The seasons change but, God knows,
It’s something that remains the same
It does not go by any name
Nor is it bought by any man
A bough holds its weight because it can
And I see you
In the waves of us two
To delineate
Something beyond the hate
That has us swinging vines
Like ten thousand times
A Tarzan in the air
But, my love, you care
I can see it in the avenues
The aching arches of the blues
You sing to me late at night
And I walk on a rope that’s tight
Across a cavern steep
Do you know how to go to sleep
When the light goes out
Oh, forget it, just kiss my mouth
And we can be as lovers are
In union, poles of a star
Celestial in its defeat
What happenstance made us meet
Or preordination
The destination
Of education
At the summit of the pillar
Just so you know you didn’t kill her
Just made a dent in the facade
Grew up through realms of feeling bad
Wry consternation
You’re on the box so I flip the station
Onto some other tune
Nevertheless you’re in the room
Calling soul
What’s a ball to do but roll
Down an ungainly hill
You call but I never will
Attempt to explain all you engender
When you say you don’t remember
What we were
And that it’s the same with her
Is this bitterness
Or envy in its undress
To lay a claim
On someone else’s surname
What’s a girl to do
I let it go and so do you
Til we’ve nothing left to leave
What you are I can’t believe

Always Had A Vision

Singing my trauma
Amid all the flora and fauna
And I have some disaster with her
Waiting to happen by my word
Coz I feel the ground tremor and shake
With every letter the earth quake
Til I’m afraid to utter a syllable
In case she’s vulnerable
And uses that to attack
I know it’s just me seeing the future back
In a film reel of tomorrow’s yesterday
In hindsight you can always see it, okay
But we’re headed straight for the precipice
And I’m not even dealing with it
Just sticking my head in non existent sand
Pretending the ocean is under command
As we all go down the swirling drain
We’ve done it before, is this it happening again?
As the might of power starts to sway
And things don’t look so okay
Is there a way to catch
The ball before it undoes the latch
On the monstrosities in the deep
Does the dragon merely sleep
He’s not gone
Though he’s been absent for so long
In the quiet of empty halls
We brick him up with mud and walls
But the water runs through the cracks
And suddenly someone attacks
Those who have no discernible means
Of contradicting how it seems
Can you give us another chance
How to wage love and dance
Instead of the war the people make
Wake yourself up, for God’s sake


Salvation In The Stars

Looking for salvation in the stars
It’s like trying to round some prison bars
As they, adjacent, keep a defense
Til you’re hands and knees in the present tense
And do I confess
My wilderness and impress
Some secret subtlety afar
Oh, the world, how near you are
When you just take a glance
At the vulnerable in my stance
And I wish away
Tomorrow another yesterday
Don’t you see
That you were the ocean to me
And the sea at night
Oh, how it glitters in the moonlight
To reflect your face
Now forever is without a trace
Gone from these hands
I’m on the shore just pacing sand
As you glide effortlessly along another terrain
Have all my past lives been in vain
To bring me to this
A pair of lips that death might kiss
Someday or will
The power of life to kill
All that it breathes air into
And consciousness is quintessentially you
So you can’t lose it
But did I choose it
This marching band
There’s nothing I have really planned
Coz all falls away
And what you leave til another day
Gets left behind
They say I am out of my mind
But I think they’re wrong
I’m too deep in it and that’s my song
Can I hold the tune
I did when you walked in the room
And my heart hammered against my chest
The depth of wisdom that I invest
In you to be all you claim
Now it’s been years and you’re just a name
I click into
Tell me did I ever reach you
Or was it all just empty talk
The way you hold yourself when you walk
Like you’ve been punched
Something hits you and I can feel the crunch
As you double over side to side
But hell if I know you’re still alive
And kicking me somewhere under the seat
Why did heaven have us meet
If it was just to part
And you are the king of my heart


The Threatening Stone

I can’t be ruled by the threatening stone
A world with me in it all alone
As I get by on each step I take
Dreaming of ways that you might wake
And it’s never on a Sunday when I’m at my brightest
Like water as vapor it still takes the lightest
Voice in the room rise to the sound
And it’s been so long you haven’t been around
And I’ve been getting by
And I really try
To shine but it’s getting dimmer
Each time they repeat that love is a sinner
And I try to hold on to the sword as it stays
Embedded in ice as the music plays
And we rise like a forest out of the ground
Hear winter call like it’s just a sound
As the monument tome to all we once were
Is reimagined one moment with her
And I’ve spent so long trying to gain traction
Then I’m overruled by one interaction
As the speeding van plays the sonnets we know
All for one so don’t let go


Our Playground

Our playground was a facebook scene
And, man, it was a helluva dream
As you throw out stars from the sky
I catch them, never say die
And we make a galaxy
Out of the dance of you and me
And I dunno about them but we
Could make a whole ocean out of this sea
As I click home
Now ’ve got you all alone
As you dance like you’ll never be seen
And I princess what’s grown to be queen
And this could be a riverbed
But I choose him instead
And we hold the hands we thought we’d never reach
Heaven is Now and all that we seek
Is beyond the furl of another page
This moment is all the rage
And it all may be falling down
But there’s something about this town
That has me trusting in all we could be
It’s not a choice but I let it go free

Books And Books

I can’t go on Facebook 
Coz I’d chase you down
Spill truth like words
On an interactive town
And d’you remember when FarmVille
Was all the rage
Then it turned to eons
Staring at your page
Til I pulled myself together
And up by my boots
I got grounded in Earth
By growing roots
To drink in the water
Spilled from the sky
And I am the daughter
Of soil that may die
And the solutions are before us
We just need to take them
It’s like a true smile
You just cannot fake them

Lightly Sedated

They paved a path and told me to walk
I tried to speak up, they said it’s all talk
As I contradict
The line they’re running with
Could you spare a minute doctor dear
I wanna make something clear
I am moved by the immutable force
Like a river by nature just follows the course
That sends it from spring to the sea
Well, so it is with me
As I feel the flow
You tell me not to let go
But I’m not holding on
The thing you look for is long gone
And the clambering rock on the cliff that I scale
Is not enough to make my courage fail
Because I’m brilliant red and Griffindor
You’re looking for less but I’ve got more
Than you ever could contain
Within the concept of rain
Must I say it to you again
As I slouch around the hall
I’m fuckin’ bored, will you pass me the ball
So I can shoot it in the net
Remind you that I don’t forget
The lines you litter with your feet
I never spoke about the monumental meet
I had with a guy so sweet
It’s cooking time and the heat
Is too much for me to stand
I look at him and he takes my hand
And holds it close to his face
A beauty that I can’t erase
As he’s speaking to my doubt
Don’t need to have to do without
But within is where I rule domain
And I know we’ll meet again
Somewhere in between
There is a crack in the dream
That’s how the light gets in
For a moment there it was with him