Pondering my own sentience I lie on the sitting room floor And there’s dust on my trousers And hounds at the door Coz there’s something in the silence That keeps me still awake And I’ve outgrown the cuts And the people that call me fake For just being as I am And doing as I do I was not placed upon this earth Just to please you And you’ve got people in the sunshine People in the summer You don’t know it at the time But when they call your number You must be ready to stand up For all and sundry around I close my eyes and feel It in my ears as my heart pounds To remind me that I’m living For another steady beat And there was some darkness And walking on the street Just to fill a gap That was never empty It’s been so long in years Since I was twenty But I’m still pretty young So I guess that it’s okay I’ll just bite my nails Until the break of day
I thought the great big ocean would find me But it’s always been just the tide Counting the beats of my step To the heart that keeps me alive And the summers in the city Where I counted my blessing He asked me if I was serious I said shur I’m only messing And the wild within me got unlocked Like a fabled Pandora’s box All the crucible to fly Is to live to know how to die Coz we’re born with these bodies We don’t know how to use Then we get attached To something we lose And every breath is a tear With a fragrance of flower But people are reckless When they have power And moan and shine and wither and break Then tell you they do it for your sake But it could never tally up Not when you call it love And I had a bite of the unconditional Now I move and walk and it’s not volitional Coz she spilt the beans on me Now every secret’s flying free And a demolishment has been rendered In the space my hope engendered It cascaded tears Now I measure the war in years That I’ve been through And I blame you For all the absent meanders I don’t have all the answers But can I learn to be a little less jaded The pain’s the same but the scars have faded And I only give leave for a moment to be The epitome of running free
If you’re logged in I hope you see The monument You are to me And I’m looking up You’re looking down And babe we could run this town If it was a two by two I’m getting a home ready for you As I make the tea And we find our way when we can’t see And maybe it is wrong To covet the fold But the path you walk Is solid gold As arms wrap around Did you hear the sound Of our silence dear Isn’t the water pretty clear When it’s still in a pond And, no, I amn’t gone Just waiting in the wings And my heart it sings For you, my love You set the fire, I’ll free the dove
I hear the bullet ricochet As you utter truth I’d say I love you But you’re such a brute To give and leave and take away All that had come to stay With me for all of time You say that the fault is mine But I hear the chime Of wind bells on the porch I know I seem out of sorts But it’s just dealing with the loss of you And the trauma of what you put me through Just to prove that you were right You rained Heaven onto a darkened night And I’m still living by candlelight Since the power cut I don’t think I’m in a rut It’s just no one sees me clear And, God knows, I hold you dear But there’s too much storm in the air So I high tailed it outta there And now you’re mad as hell But I never tell You what I really feel Coz I know you cannot deal With the intense focus of my desire And you may be all fire But I am wind and air And it blew you away, me being there And I laugh and you deny That I ever made you cry But sometimes tears fall like rain I know I’ll see you again
Letting go of what he did to me Letting go of what she said Letting go of the nightmares That haunt me troubled in bed Coz I’m living untethered I’m a wildebeest at heart And all I seem to know how to do Is make my pain into art And I paint my own canvas I love the glorious white But the colours of rainbow Make the fire in me ignite And I throw in some earphones It’s punk rock and emo lite I nod to the folks you asked If I was alright And I’ve got fury Burning a candle Maybe I’m just too hot to handle But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars Rules the conduct in the passing of stars And you’ll never be able to touch What is beyond your reach I didn’t come here for students I’m not one who has to teach To live my own compass point It’s been years since the Love anoint Me with its holy Chrism I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him And He brushes my hair out of my face Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste Of what it must be like to live in the realm Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm In the midnight of another sorrow I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow From the sun that gives me life Seems the setting shade gives you twice The morning on replay It’s always bright at the break of day
It’s a shimmer ghost All this walking by the coast To make the shoreline real But I cannot deal With the forest of you come alive Babe, I barely survive Amid all the throwing knives and flames The taking part, not taking names In the avenues we touch But, honey, you cannot rush What always is, was or will be The river empties into the sea So we can keep the cycle going I don’t know if there’s a way of knowing What it’s really worth In the monuments to hurt They build on a skyline Then roll it round another time Like seeing the towers crash Or the whip crack another lash On innocent skin and bone Where is hate when it’s at home And can we repaint the dial I’m not just trying to make you smile But something real to pull through The goings tough but I know that you Can do it if you want And no ghost has to haunt The doorstep that you darken The blade is clear, you don’t need to sharpen It to make it more humane This deluge is a cloud of rain
And It was the day the glass cracked on my telescope I gave up heaven, I gave up hope As you seem to let it slide Do you even know I’m alive Or that you are too I woke up to the absence of you When I needed you most I just stare at the phone you ghost Like tomorrow’s lullaby awake What’s the point, for fucks sake As you travel through the mud I wish I could say I would But the final straw on the camel’s back And I’m not down and you attack Me for my lack of flavor But, honey, I’m not your saviour And I can’t raise the rushes you grow I just wanted you to know That I held our memory dear But you made the moment crystal clear
She’s got it on lock The dark she is not She’s stellar, she’s a star And I wonder what you are As we fight to keep our heads above water Swimming in currents that aim for caught her As we span the ocean in a gaze I wonder how many people she’s saved As she throws a glance like a dagger across the room And I dunno how to work the zoom Function on my camera But I just tie my bandana Red around my head And there have been so many left dead By the dark side of the human psyche I keep wondering what it is that ignite me So I can burn like a fire in the hearts of men Is it going to happen again Or have we turned a corner on life on earth Is there depth to transcend the hurt Or will the storm come to rage once more I knock a rap upon the door Coz I have to be let in I know that there’s something there in him That can spin a dial so right I walk by the light In your window Is it a sin though To see what’s really beating a heart If we abdicate do we take part In the slow drive to floor The ground that crashes to meet us, a stór Or can stars hold space For us as we lay waste To all we’ve known Have the people grown Up and out of a tendency But I feel the collective pull at me To get me to identify But I can’t let the children cry For what we’ve done to them and us Is it a mirror of broken trust That we catch ourselves upon We’re going down but love isn’t gone Not yet or forever Can we be the sky that knows the weather That spins a chrysalis As a diamond kiss The pressure that we’ve known thus far I feel like we can only drive this car A certain length down the road Has our maturity showed As we stand up to the shelter I close my eyes coz this is a belter
Incognito window, I’m under the radar I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar But I know that I can make planets spin With the love that’s inside and the peace within And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees There are no words for the wonder it frees When the weight just drops The what you are’s in the space the love’s got And I am not a mountain but I am not hill I can move power with the strength of will And she never helped me out But I guess that’s just the space in doubt To be forgotten or held so close Do you see through what I love the most Or must I just let it die Not be afraid to spill tears and cry Over what is yet to come And a woman takes away the man’s son What can you do but acquiesce The movement’s in the way you dress And shoulder weight like diamond mines I’d let it go coz it’s fine In the sunshine and the rain I don’t think that I can do this again So I relinquish the right to be wrong And open heart into a song To make it alright again I give up on the world you spin
The sound of you Has echoed through these halls And it’s bringing down barriers And cavernous walls Until all is a grand open space With not one instant of my time gone to waste And I hit pause in 2011 All because the sound of Heaven Was just too damn real And you’re not the boy I want to steal Away with into the night But you came close to it, alright And I spill ink on the canvas I draw I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw In the sunlight you bequeath And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet But you turn my face upward with your palm You look at me and I am calm I’m the storm that surround You are worth the way it resounds And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient I’m an artist and I try to paint it But it never lives up to what you are A feeble try to condense a star Into matter and fusion But it was just confusion To say I don’t love you so And I just want you to know That you crack the glass with your smile And I dream of you for a little while But it is real as can be I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea
Muddy shoes walk all over my floor As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore And it could be Christ the King Or the boy with a broken wing All I know is that the stars announce The girl I was, the one that you denounce As I place one foot in front of another Never knew what it was like to have a brother Who watches my back Just a girl and the attack Was launched on me Fifteen years and I’m still not free Of what she inflicted And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it It just I carry the scar that hurts I blame you for it and what’s worse Is that I make myself suffer for what never was I don’t know gravity because When I was brought down to earth I was in open space and the dirt Is evidence on my coat That I met a Holy Ghost
The fear of missing out Haunts my sideboard Coz nothing’s enough I swear on the word That I utter Under my breath I’m on my way But I’m not there yet And everything glistens Like sunny snow Out of my reach But don’t you know It’s closer than it was And I didn’t break any laws When I wished you down I tore the tatters on my gown Into the shape of a badass queen What if this is just a dream That is happening in consciousness Do you trust In the powers that be Is it ok or will we see What is coming down the line There was that moment you stopped time And I was taken by an intake of breath It’s sharp and I cannot forget It’s impact on my soul I keep catching glimpses of being whole
I dunno if it would be a sin But I would like to make sweet love with Fin It’s in his eyes and it’s in his hair It’s in his way of just being there And answering me when I ask a question Though I may be prone to suggestion When he drops a line on my telephone And I can feel that I’m not alone In this world we call suffering and plight But I think it just might be alright As a new day dawns and succumbs To the growing up when you are youngs Or as the girl says as she drums Her breath against the walls of her lungs It it just like I thought it would be Like you’re an ocean and I love the sea To be tranquil and to be still I’ve overcome hate but it wasn’t with will It was with the simple joy of the act And they way you trust when there’s no turning back In a pair of hands he just held out Like you’re the beauty I hate to doubt But I do coz everything’s thin But I’m full of peace when I’m with him Like he came to me to be my savior Like the bar and he knew how to raise her Up from where she lay askance And suddenly this life’s a beautiful dance That has all atoms singing in motion No neighbors to say it’s just commotion But a heavenly chorus unto the dawn One minute it’s there and the next it’s gone But there’s something steady in all the rubble And you speak to me from beyond the trouble To a place safe and warm Like we have weathered the worst of the storm In being together when the night Closes in and we have to fight Even to breathe into the sky People come and go and then they die As everything reborn renews And I forget to pay my dues Coz I just can’t be bothered with anything sunny I know you’re laughing but it isn’t funny How I got into this state From Armageddon to irate To all is quiet on the western front Til he takes a bite and chews the brunt Of the worst of it all I held out my hand and you’re my freefall
It’s so easy to see it in someone else So hard to manage my mental health Coz I feel the tightrope laid out for walking People have their opinions but they’re just talking As I balance on a line I pray won’t fray Coz I’ve lost seasons to the going away And somewhere in the weather a monumental tome Whispers to me, so soothe me, you’re not alone And I crack like an egg at the edge of the bowl Searching for a reason to make me whole And she’s got it like atoms bound together so tight Quark an oblivion into the night And it’s some days on Monday’s I just like to run Up the hill and down coz baby it’s fun As I feel my limbs unloosen like rain As if the release is coming again And I hid in the tree up on a branch If I lived in Texas I would own a ranch To let animals roam free without care If you think to cross me, baby, don’t dare Coz I’m dynamite and you sit on the fuse Crackling amber like there’s nothing to lose And the sparks that you make warm me and threaten To let loose all the eons I’ve spent regretting The time that has passed or didn’t so You hurt me so deeply so I let you go But I’m always wanting to see you again I get lost in the rouge of the colour of men Coz they’re so fly it’s near as they open their eyes Like winds blowing doors to adjacent surprise And it was nothing but all up in the air When he said hello and I knew he was there As I faltered a goodbye or a maybe someday But I let him in and it’s not going away Though we both slam shut to a degree And I’d be the more likely down on one knee As the rivers race oceans to get to the shore Absence is fondness and I love him more For all of the ways we can’t be together I look up at the sky and say, hey man, that’s weather
There are eddies in the pool And people used to laugh at school When I’d make a faux pas Remember that time we did “I’ll Tell Me Ma” And the whole crowd were in sync It worked better than you might think And I liked the dude There’s a kind of cool you exude Just by standing there And I’m caught in my hair Twirling a single strand On the spot whereupon I stand And you didn’t have to ask But I think I saw behind the mask And now I’ve got no way to pretend That my love will never end As I grasp the clasp you let go And I hope you’re happy with so and so But I’ve got to let the whole thing drop It’s not about the bad cop It’s just about me living like a thief Stealing moments of belief That are strung together by truth That I make from memories of my youth And am I old at thirty two This poem will age and so will you With the doubt I have so blue Don’t play the tune if you don’t want to
Taking my meds with a glass of brandy And I dunno man I’m just taking it handy And that’s not any kind of recommendation But I’m sipping gin and the tv station Sings of a land I don’t understand Partner track and the underhand But I’m lazy and I’m catching flies Why is it everything that’s born dies And why must I be protected from the realisation That inner being is elation And it’s not any kind of ruse You could say that it’s soul food To eat like the point you prove Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes Instead of run from where you are You’re shining, you fuckin star
My love hasn’t changed Though the atoms have rearranged And come to form a celestial sphere But vibrate when the glass clear And wipe the window clean Like it is some kind of dream That I believe in or don’t They tell me to leave it but I won’t Coz you are the summer weather I crave Not the man I came here to save Not an ocean to span And my voice shakes but I speak because I can And utter the syllables long on my tongue You’re not just a season of being young But the epitome I’ve come to cherish It’s okay if it’s too much to relish In the break of dawn A moment there and then it’s gone
I thought it was done Thought we were through But I keep on coming Back to you And that guy I said was nice Did, I admit, Make me look twice Coz I saw in him What I felt with you And now it’s one Instead of two And I’m sizing up The competition But I gotta say There’s no ammunition In my rounds of guns I keep seeing stars And suns In the eyes I swore to decry This love is never Gonna die
The avenue tear away the sky Coz everyone has to die It’s a gate we must all go through But it’s no consolation losing you And I claw and scratch Against the force of time Coz I can’t really call anything mine And you’re like space or air But I know you’re there I feel you right by my side As though you were still alive And is it really what we think The nights we used to have a drink By the fire Now you’re somewhere higher But does that mean gone It’s like life is just so long And the weary learn to hang their heads While the rest lie abed And I just want to scream Til someone steps in and reminds me it’s a dream And sudden calm And the pain is just to ring the alarm To wake me up And you are present love In every breath I take I don’t do it for my sake But for something I can’t put name to For now let’s call it all for You
There’s a break in the weather The sun shines through And don’t you know It’s coming from you As I try to come to terms With the anger within And all that never Lived up to him As he dances Across the screen Making my life And someone else’s dream
She lies in bed Coz she can’t get up But it ain’t depression It is love And the dearth of a need To move at all What’s wrong, they say But it’s a freefall And there’s open air and space The old guard gone without a trace Coz I sigh This is not goodbye But a hello to a new realm And they are all the same With their witchy ways and locks But he knows how to make the bed rock With his sudden sigh And am I wrong or is he a little shy Around me It confounds me How they could eat up time And rub a ring until it shine Like a new pearl I gave my heart You gave me the world
A millennium prayer for a new generation Don’t be held down by your own education And I always felt loved From aside and above Like some giant grants my wish And tells me that life is a gift Coz the present moment is always here And I will always hold you dear Though you defy The law I’ve laid down to try To keep smacht on this whole thing I jump when the phone ring As it brings sad news through Like the day I lost you Cracked at the edge of the glass How could love not last I think I’ve been seeing it wrong Because you are so strong And nothingness can’t take you into its fold But it’s lifeless the hand I hold Coz you are long gone from here But somehow you’re ever near In every step I walk And in my voice when I start to talk About my memory of us And there’s something I just trust To hold firm I guess time and I had to learn
The battlestorm rages outside my window I do not aim to let it in though It shatters the windows and shakes down the hall Like I’m running in a free for all And is it just ego, this creation I’ve made Not for the saving but salvation be saved From the minute and limited form What does it take to keep the world warm And are we all just spiraling in our creation I get up from the wound in my education To stand up tall just as I am And the man says that there is no plan
I’ll be the clarion call To let the demons out The things that people suffer under The fear, my dear, self doubt And they locked me up in ashes But I still was free Coz even though they do their best They can’t get the best of me
And the clock ticked, did it go back Am I getting enough of slumber And but for the men I loved I woulda been just a number In that place where the halls have eyes And everyone walks tiptoe It’s eggshells we’re treading on So that you might not know
And I had a bed and my own room It was number sixteen And I’ve been dealing with this kind of shit Since I realized the dream As I hop on a hopscotch Afraid to cross the line Is there a difference between being here And doing hard time
And I hid out in the activity room Rifling through a storm I hope they might not find me That’s how I kept the candle warm But they did and told me so There was a place to greet But I’m moving dough with my hands Can’t make it move my feet
And the third time I was in there Barry called my name He asked if he could speak to me, if it was all the same But he was laughing sideways Out of the corner of his mouth He thinks that he might have a clue As to what I’m all about And, God love him, he was precious But he set the dial to spin So I called the shots and called it off Walked out of the room with him
And, the laughter, it was breaking like a wave upon the shore I left the card on my desk so that it might love me more And my sides they’d split with Aoibhínn coz she was such a hoot She talked me out of dangerously quiet as I stood mute
And I drew an eye on the wall in the smoking room It was a lot more like freedom than it was the bells of doom And they only scrubbed it out a year later and I see There was a part of them that loved a part of me Or with a certain fondness I recall what they say It’s not the present moment but you will be okay So I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the bin Conceded defeat coz you know I cannot win
And the monuments of time will fall beneath the sea But there’s something eternal that beats the heart of me And I can’t put my finger on it or tell you what it is Only suffice to say that being born is not to live Beyond the realms of death In the halls that I vacate I think they had me wrong Coz I love the thing they hate
And summon up a showstorm In the dead of the night The sun that is within me Can’t help but be bright As all I ever am And all I’ll ever be I can’t bring myself to regret That I asked you to dance with me
It’s my name, it’s my words And there’s something you must not have heard Coz I’m so superfly I’m down with the wolves And I’m not gonna lie Your drawing pulls And I resist But when I do I barely subsist And you don’t see the pride That keeps this heartbeat alive And I’m not coming back So don’t attack It’s useless anyway I’m more than what I say I’m am what I’m gonna be It’s not my fault that you don’t see All that Being does Lost in the memory of what was Inherent in the design Is that I am fine When you let the thread go slack It took a while but I got the knack Of it at last The Present Moment will never be past
I unlock my phone And Chocolate opens Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding And you’re too sweet to be believed You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve Only an endless free terrain And I’ve spent years studying your pain From afar And Teresa named a star After me So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see Under ever present heavens We were both born on elevens And so I tick my clock Wondering what it is you’re not In all that you claim to be You were my favorite song to see
Shadow work
I wade through the dirt
That rises in our wake
The sandstorm is so hard to shake
And I filter it down to something simple
You pop it like a pimple
Coz we are One
But we are two
Some Advaita
To soothe you
Into a lull where you will listen
To my hands as the snowdrops glisten
On your skin like stone
Where's twilight when it's at home
But we're no creature and his prey
We're fighting just to get through the day
With our wands and magic paper
You said goodbye and I, see you later
And will tomorrow be too soon
For us to share a room
Coz you move me with a stare
I didn't look but I knew you were there
I could just sense it in the stance
Of a heart which started to dance
At the mere sight of my form
And I feel my cheeks get warm
Knowing that you're just inches away
Are there words to make you stay
Or is everything all up in the air
All I know is that you were there
And so was I
I feel the moment start to die
As a grim realisation overcomes
And my charm just succumbs
To some preordained reality
I never claimed infallibility
Just that I'm here to stay
And stay in love with you too, okay?
One of us comes
The other one goes
I wear the pants
He just knows
And we found love
Where it can dance
Did you take a breath
Or a second chance
On the money
Or off the floor
What is it about love
That we adore
Coz you're summer
I'm winter
We're a cyclical thing
And I know it's real
When I hear the bell ring
And we lift off
The ground is below
The air is free
But do you go
When I open my heart
And pour out my wounds
I didn't think the end
Would come so soon
And you're looking past me
Into the sky
What's it about love
That will neither live nor die
Do you see society crumbling The meaning come apart And if it flakes at the edge Before the breakdown start But I have another vision Beyond the ramparts of division One where we can recognize That difference is where opportunity lies And the wonder of all things is this Is that you and I never kiss In the world of form And the storm Knocks on my window and breaks down my door But it only makes me want you more As you lie somewhere askance Would you laugh if I asked you to dance And took your hand for a second time But the first to make you mine
I was something And I could see A new and different version of me And it’s come to pass That I have come to ace the class Of transformation Coz they flick the tv station But the score Is always I want more Than what is But I am His And I found in life A reflection of his beauty In a man and it’s my duty To explain that I See through the body that die Into the effortless supreme I gasped and it woke the dream
Leaving Easter Eggs all over town So someone might find them when they take it down And I may be colossus but summer’s in my veins Though I’ve got to say I’m open to rains As they pour down from the sky There’s something within me that’s not gonna die No matter the seasons or passing of time It is a wondrous crime To look Death in the face And tell him it’s not the time and place To go standing around stores And I’ve always wanted more Than just the simple life I live Why is it so hard to forgive Coz she crushed the flower I held out Now I second guess my own doubt When I’m relying on love To heal all ills But I’m lost in the woods Now I’m taking pills Just to make the trees have leaves And it’s not everything that Truth believes Only solid ground on a pine cone floor Oh, this Earth and all I adore
You showed me the sky It was your own shade of blue And there is a timelessness That lives in you And everyone you touch Is a resonant hum It took me ten years To see you’re the One The One in All The Jesus who stands The love of my life When I’m holding your hands And they’re soft to the touch And gentle and warm Who’d ever have known We’d have kicked up a storm Like dust under feet When the wind blows a tune Something is echoing Now you’re in the room
He’s gotta be cool and he’s gotta be sweet And it’s gotta be fireworks the day that we meet It’s gotta be sunshine, it’s gotta be rain And it’s gotta be turmoil not seeing him again And what if the person I describe is you I wonder would you describe me too If you could put pen to write out a list Second guess what I dismissed As only passing, temporary, soul But it’s like making music at the Super Bowl There’s a crowd there that will cheer And far away seems so near When you are so close Temporal as a Holy Ghost To reach up and touch The man I love so much
Exhausting my potentiality I throw it all at the screen Then wake up in the morning Is this just a dream Coz we’re born then we die With a few years in between What is the difference Between pauper and queen When in the final reckoning all is one As sure as the earth revolves around the sun The Love keeps us all burning bright But there are things I wonder when I lie awake at night As in how could it cease just to create Tell me in time that I don’t need to wait As the sky comes down to earth In the moment it heals my hurt And shows me a summer no winter can harm And any pain just rings the alarm To let me know to investigate That something approaching the notion of hate Has taken root in my being I rub my eyes so I know that I’m really seeing What’s in front of me I learned less is more, that’s my degree
Say you’ll stay friends Then just eclipse out of each other’s lives Say it’s forever But it barely survives And it turns out freedom Is wishing you were near Turns out evasion Is holding you dear As you crack a smile That spans the whole sky And I re-enter earth Just to learn how to die Coz the wings I’ve grown Just to fight gravity Have become an ongoing Hinderance to me As I must soar Only to touch down Oh, the constant draw Of the ground Like you set sail And push off the shore But leaving the land Makes it want you more Like the end of a rope Tied to a bucket Dip it into the well But, man, fuck it You only go in Just to be pulled out Now full of water To add to your doubt And it’s not eternal This coming and going I look out the window And it is snowing But the seasons only show you What’s left to rest Give me Infinity That I cannot test
I had feelings for you back in the day But then I just used you to explain Darragh away And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping In the recesses of my soul Is there a together in the growing old Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth Find our own way in the dark As he speaks to me Weaving a thread on the tapestry To paint the picture of us And we’ve always had trust Why did you hide your face So I couldn’t keep you in place Where you were Let you run off with an adjacent her In the winter of my life Moored in strife As the cavalry came To take all but my name from me Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in A moment of truth And I can’t claim the auspices of youth Anymore Is that you at my door? Well, for God’s sake come in! You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him
Don’t leave your emeralds spread out on the shore Coz if he wanted you he wouldn’t adore The sand he shares with someone else And you have your own particular wealth And they all agree That he isn’t meant for me Coz he has a home already made And I’m just standing in the shade That is cast by a vast tree And my ocean is all at sea Why do I fight what I know What is it in me that just won’t let go What’s been held onto for so long I always tried to be strong And make my pain into a song Don’t come back now and say it’s wrong
Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream And his words are fuckin’ insane But I still remember his name And the way his hair curls around in locks The way he walks a palace that time forgot And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay? And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said You’re always making your home where you lay your head And find something honest and real and true That was just with them and now it’s with you In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain To be the storm centre, the very eye Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die At least for another fifty or so years Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears And look up to the heavens when the sky clears I drink one to you when I’m having my beers I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law That seems to hold court and company I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee Professing my love to the moon and stars Do you remember the days when it was prison bars And nothing meant anything to anyone you know Now you wave at me as I watch you go With the train that has taken you from the station I guess congrats are in order for the celebration Of all you have earned that is duly yours And I know you could say that this is all words When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes
Finding the balance between this and that And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back And I am loved and I’m secure I’m wading in water but the current is pure And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky Poised between to live and to die And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in And it’s over before it really ever begin It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance Hold out my hand to you to dance And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will Like drinking in water til you have your fill The sunset, the morning, the consuming night I know in the end we’ll all be alright
Death, looming like a great paragon on the horizon I don’t know what to take a side on But I know I can’t stay on the fence Or civilization will be in the past tense As we see the aching Colosseum stand for war But it crumbles in the end because of what it’s for And we hear the machine gun roll But they can’t kill the soul And it will come round to embrace The very worst of the human race Til we’re all tended like wheat in the field The wind shakes the barley and it yield To the power of peace and benevolence As we watch the rhythm dance Like a song across the grass The only truth in my life is that Love last And in the oceans that span a sea There’s a depth to you and me That no wonder can contain Let’s wake without the pain To prompt us to stir Do you even know what we were As we wear that t-shirt too I was born in the moment I met You
There’s a new thing brewing But can it keep its head Cause the parapet is raised And so many people lie dead But I climb up the rock There’s a world of things that I am not As the sun in the sky Shines over the seas as they go by And it’s hopping over there On the Western front and I care About how it all goes down I left half my heart in that town And now I go back Before the attack In shoes that I can walk What does it take to see through the talk Into what is true Is there any way I can save you From your fate The demolition that lies in wait I shake the dust off my shoulders I’m like Icarus chasing boulders That have no business in that myth But the world is chomping at the bit And this is just a dragon I dance with In my hope for a new born truth A time beyond the confines of youth As we let the shackles drop What does it take for one person to say stop And breathe What do the people need Can we shift the scene Out of this nightmarish dream I know no one who can say That everything is okay When we just let it crumple If there’s lightning then thunder will rumble
I don’t want to start a fight I don’t wannna take aim It’s just I catch my breath When I see her name Next to yours instead of mine It walks over me like a thousand times And I know she’s real nice but I would wait Until you trace the hands of fate And saw it bring you to my side In your presence I’m alive And soaring like a bird in flight And I know you might be alright But I’m nothing without you my sweetest babe I don’t even have the room to save Myself from the gnashing of teeth I think I’m stranded on the beach Waiting for my ship to come in And don’t you know it’s always Him No matter what is said to deter And I just wish the best for her Because she kept you close when times were tough And my excuse is simply not enough And I know I was away And you would always say You wanted someone And being too young Is no reason to protest I looked away, you did the rest As the cymbal clattered to the floor And I’ve never wanted anything more Than I want you now But I gotta give space to allow You to have your breathing room I loved you too late after too soon Coz you stride across the hill I look up and still I see you standing there With the wind in your hair And your magnitude Just a really cool dude To open my eyes into I know it’s not enough that you Loved me then before I let you go I’m writing this so you know That your soul has a place beside the embers I warm And you can chill by the heat of the storm And I know it’s really bad form To tell you this now when true love has been born And I see you with her And what we were Is just echoes now in my mind As I’m sad over what I’ve left behind And you say it’s gone But I can hear it in that song You play when you think nobody cares But I look through it all with devil may cares And your silhouette Is not something I could ever forget As the stars Make magical music out of the bars That hold me in If only I could get to him But it’s a futile shot He only sees all that I’m not Nor could be I amn’t she And we Eternity Could never refresh The page easily As a new sky dawns And our youth is almost nearly gone Eaten up by time Like the melody you sang with the line When you didn’t know That you are everywhere I go In college days I find you there in so many ways Just a glance A laugh, a second chance The fear The feeling you close as though you are near In the library But you’re kissing her beside me I just don’t see Til now, at least, an infinity And, love, will you ever know That I stared at you headlong until I go Back to your door Rap a knock like a mini score But you adore The Goddess you found by the shore And I know Though I implore Everything’s settled on the ground floor And foundations deep Underlie all that you intend to keep And just a day A million light years away Can’t convince You to change your mind since I showed up I don’t even know if you could call this love It’s just you’re everything I’m thinking of And the sky Holds nothing to the blue of your eye Black hole deep Full of the light that it will keep From a million stars that throw away Their beams to your frame as you walk away And I Will love you like this til the day that I die And cry That we never got to be As he takes the role of the quintessential he Of my dreams I know it’s not all that it seems And I’m not Einstein But would I be a fool to call you mine In another dimension One without all the surface tension And suspense We climbed out of both of our tents Never knowing what’s in store Where the zip on the line made way for a door And you, effervescent you, just laugh You don’t do things by half Do you And if it means that much to You I will love her too Celebrate the days of you Two down in the park Before I even knew that we start Oh, the longing to be Somewhere near your soliloquy But it just rhymes somewhere in the distance And I give up on the resistance And allow You to live your own life somehow Just know I love you deep like the mountain of snow That rolls down avalanche cloud My voice is shaking but I say it out loud And the words don’t make sense and you’re shouting at me Something about nothing and our history And the lines blur You were always with her In the years And the tears And you see This, you and I, and Infinity
I spent my youth fearing old age Now I’m finally flipping the page And finding out that the aforementioned Is really not in this dimension Because I extend out Far beyond the realms of doubt To the furnace roar and the circumstance Do you know the electrons dance In perpetual motion And nothing can replace devotion In the furthering of things And a million rings Cannot make me replace The love that I came here to taste And just drink in It wasn’t just with him But everyone Everyone the immaculate Son Of Destiny Do you think he thinks of me With his hand on the trigger A rifle to fire But love’s not down low But somewhere higher To take in the vista And one can only say “I missed ya” If you believe the lie People we love cannot die But fly On immutable wings And everything in creation sings Of its unborn nature My love, I could never hate ya
I go down and come back up As cyclical as the sun to rise I’m never lost in rainy weather But it’s under blue skies Coz summer comes and summer goes The seasons change but, God knows, It’s something that remains the same It does not go by any name Nor is it bought by any man A bough holds its weight because it can And I see you In the waves of us two To delineate Something beyond the hate That has us swinging vines Like ten thousand times A Tarzan in the air But, my love, you care I can see it in the avenues The aching arches of the blues You sing to me late at night And I walk on a rope that’s tight Across a cavern steep Do you know how to go to sleep When the light goes out Oh, forget it, just kiss my mouth And we can be as lovers are In union, poles of a star Celestial in its defeat What happenstance made us meet Or preordination The destination Of education At the summit of the pillar Just so you know you didn’t kill her Just made a dent in the facade Grew up through realms of feeling bad Wry consternation You’re on the box so I flip the station Onto some other tune Nevertheless you’re in the room Calling soul What’s a ball to do but roll Down an ungainly hill You call but I never will Attempt to explain all you engender When you say you don’t remember What we were And that it’s the same with her Is this bitterness Or envy in its undress To lay a claim On someone else’s surname What’s a girl to do I let it go and so do you Til we’ve nothing left to leave What you are I can’t believe
Singing my trauma Amid all the flora and fauna And I have some disaster with her Waiting to happen by my word Coz I feel the ground tremor and shake With every letter the earth quake Til I’m afraid to utter a syllable In case she’s vulnerable And uses that to attack I know it’s just me seeing the future back In a film reel of tomorrow’s yesterday In hindsight you can always see it, okay But we’re headed straight for the precipice And I’m not even dealing with it Just sticking my head in non existent sand Pretending the ocean is under command As we all go down the swirling drain We’ve done it before, is this it happening again? As the might of power starts to sway And things don’t look so okay Is there a way to catch The ball before it undoes the latch On the monstrosities in the deep Does the dragon merely sleep He’s not gone Though he’s been absent for so long In the quiet of empty halls We brick him up with mud and walls But the water runs through the cracks And suddenly someone attacks Those who have no discernible means Of contradicting how it seems Can you give us another chance How to wage love and dance Instead of the war the people make Wake yourself up, for God’s sake
Looking for salvation in the stars It’s like trying to round some prison bars As they, adjacent, keep a defense Til you’re hands and knees in the present tense And do I confess My wilderness and impress Some secret subtlety afar Oh, the world, how near you are When you just take a glance At the vulnerable in my stance And I wish away Tomorrow another yesterday Don’t you see That you were the ocean to me And the sea at night Oh, how it glitters in the moonlight To reflect your face Now forever is without a trace Gone from these hands I’m on the shore just pacing sand As you glide effortlessly along another terrain Have all my past lives been in vain To bring me to this A pair of lips that death might kiss Someday or will The power of life to kill All that it breathes air into And consciousness is quintessentially you So you can’t lose it But did I choose it This marching band There’s nothing I have really planned Coz all falls away And what you leave til another day Gets left behind They say I am out of my mind But I think they’re wrong I’m too deep in it and that’s my song Can I hold the tune I did when you walked in the room And my heart hammered against my chest The depth of wisdom that I invest In you to be all you claim Now it’s been years and you’re just a name I click into Tell me did I ever reach you Or was it all just empty talk The way you hold yourself when you walk Like you’ve been punched Something hits you and I can feel the crunch As you double over side to side But hell if I know you’re still alive And kicking me somewhere under the seat Why did heaven have us meet If it was just to part And you are the king of my heart
I can’t be ruled by the threatening stone A world with me in it all alone As I get by on each step I take Dreaming of ways that you might wake And it’s never on a Sunday when I’m at my brightest Like water as vapor it still takes the lightest Voice in the room rise to the sound And it’s been so long you haven’t been around And I’ve been getting by And I really try To shine but it’s getting dimmer Each time they repeat that love is a sinner And I try to hold on to the sword as it stays Embedded in ice as the music plays And we rise like a forest out of the ground Hear winter call like it’s just a sound As the monument tome to all we once were Is reimagined one moment with her And I’ve spent so long trying to gain traction Then I’m overruled by one interaction As the speeding van plays the sonnets we know All for one so don’t let go
Our playground was a facebook scene And, man, it was a helluva dream As you throw out stars from the sky I catch them, never say die And we make a galaxy Out of the dance of you and me And I dunno about them but we Could make a whole ocean out of this sea As I click home Now ’ve got you all alone As you dance like you’ll never be seen And I princess what’s grown to be queen And this could be a riverbed But I choose him instead And we hold the hands we thought we’d never reach Heaven is Now and all that we seek Is beyond the furl of another page This moment is all the rage And it all may be falling down But there’s something about this town That has me trusting in all we could be It’s not a choice but I let it go free
I can’t go on Facebook Coz I’d chase you down Spill truth like words On an interactive town And d’you remember when FarmVille Was all the rage Then it turned to eons Staring at your page Til I pulled myself together And up by my boots I got grounded in Earth By growing roots To drink in the water Spilled from the sky And I am the daughter Of soil that may die And the solutions are before us We just need to take them It’s like a true smile You just cannot fake them
They paved a path and told me to walk I tried to speak up, they said it’s all talk As I contradict The line they’re running with Could you spare a minute doctor dear I wanna make something clear I am moved by the immutable force Like a river by nature just follows the course That sends it from spring to the sea Well, so it is with me As I feel the flow You tell me not to let go But I’m not holding on The thing you look for is long gone And the clambering rock on the cliff that I scale Is not enough to make my courage fail Because I’m brilliant red and Griffindor You’re looking for less but I’ve got more Than you ever could contain Within the concept of rain Must I say it to you again As I slouch around the hall I’m fuckin’ bored, will you pass me the ball So I can shoot it in the net Remind you that I don’t forget The lines you litter with your feet I never spoke about the monumental meet I had with a guy so sweet It’s cooking time and the heat Is too much for me to stand I look at him and he takes my hand And holds it close to his face A beauty that I can’t erase As he’s speaking to my doubt Don’t need to have to do without But within is where I rule domain And I know we’ll meet again Somewhere in between There is a crack in the dream That’s how the light gets in For a moment there it was with him
The Poetry Book 