Typified

Listening to emo music
Coz it’s you personified
Is this just my soul and yours
Typified
And I know that you’re happy
It’s just could I be happy too
And don’t you know
That happiness is you
Can we just be friends
If we’re not enemies
And I would trade away
All of my degrees
Just to have
One moment of your truth
I don’t think it was deception
That reception of our youth
Just a moment held aloft
Like a burning candle flame
I’ll sing to you forever
Coz I’ll never be the same

Judgement

I blame the doctors for their prejudicial minds
And it’s my own pride I seem to find
As I stigmatize the fear of being unwell
With all the secrets I do not tell
As the brave stand up to say
There are days I’m not okay
And I find that I admire
The way he stokes my roaring fire
With his honesty and his sincere
And I’m always gonna hold him dear
Like a soul brother out there somewhere
But touch the cracks I do not dare
Coz they are all sealed with gold
And stories that have never been told
As I see the sunrise
It’s like the dawn of morning in your eyes
As you open a new day
I love you babe, I hope that’s okay

Ocean Of Peace

Somewhere on the dark side of the moon
I see a friend and ask him if there’s room
For me to sit beside and smoke my pipe
He says that’s grand, shur you’re alright
And we sit there in the blazing heat
With the warmth of the sun heating our feet
Coz though you can’t see it from the earth
Not all of love is made to hurt
And sometimes the shine goes unseen
Like the wealth of weight from a nocturne dream
Drapes it’s heavy veil on us
But there’s something you can always trust
That what’s spherical must abide
And remind you of what’s inside
As it revolves around a star
The black hole essence of what you are
The singularity at the beginning of time
The mystery that makes me rhyme
And find a beat, a steady flow
Coz I never know where these things will go
Just believe in what I’m given
Gifted with a will so driven
That I must remake the sky
With a million light years in my eye

Stressy

I can feel stress on the edge of my field of vision
I’m trying to overcome the derision
That I know is mine since I told you so
And you got annoyed and said I should go
And I can’t seem to get up from the floor
But I’m walking through Heaven like it’s an open door
And all of the flames just lie behind me
Except for the one which simply defines me
And it is an ocean I span to make up the sea
That seems to make up the space between you and me
And you’re aching and awesome and simply sublime
I guess I’ll say it again another time
That I would love to be by your side
But for now I’ll just abide
And accept the time that’s been given to me
I’m not alone, just driven to thee

The Last Train

Loving you is like waiting on the last train
It’s like standing out in the pouring rain
I’m jealous of the drops of water that fall on your head
I’m jealous of the blankets that cover you in bed
And I’m always so well defined
And you’re always away but I don’t mind
And though the paper is written in ink
Of all of the things I shouldn’t think
But just sway to the breeze
And you stay only to leave
But I don’t mind welcoming you back
It’s not like you take something I lack
And everything is in boxes that they stack
And if you look I’ll pick up the slack
And rush to the shore
As you say you don’t want me anymore
And I just remember the festival
And the way I let it go to hell
Fighting to be my own dear self
I can’t share this with anyone else
And then I met you, you just turned to me
It’s like the waters parted and I could see
Like you held eternity
In a single glance, what are we?
And you smiled, just so, down into my eyes
It’s like you saw right through the disguise
And now it’s like I walk on one foot
And you said no like the sharpest cut
As I hold out strong in the weather
And I’m just dreaming of you in the heather
And how far you are away
The bridge is broken so we cannot stay
Like Sora and Kairi or the Marching Bands
The waves come to kiss the lands
But keep us at the distance we know
I hope you are well and that your clock runs slow
So that you have many years in reserve
And it’s always the greatest that you serve
While I watch and just observe
The moment you see that I’ve got nerve!


Photo by Balazs Busznyak on Unsplash.com

Suitcases

Do you have faith in your generation
Not flicking the switch on the radio station
Coz their sounds ain’t what you can hear
And you know I held you dear
Like the forests of rain that fell from the sky
Like living love though you don’t know why
Like melodies and sweet refrains
And, man, you know it’s happening again
As the grand sweep pulls you up in its gaze
You’re tall, dark and Superman to save
And I’m simply awesome with my book of lines
On a notepad there a thousand times
Some Lois Lane or Harriet the Spy
Nancy Drew to the blue in my eye
Writing what I make of life
And you’re a bit of alright
With your steady gaze and shaking hands
You’re like the sea that’s lapping sands
And I hope wherever you are
You notice the light of the star
That burns in both our souls
We’re growing up not getting old

A Stranger’s Motel

Docking at that station would be like pulling into a stranger’s motel
So I let the wind blow and let it go to hell
Because but for all my desire
I could set the whole world on fire
With the plumes of my resident being
It’s more than the surface I’m capable of seeing
As you move in close then pull away
And it was like watching the sunset close the day
And the grief I feel, is that okay
Coz there are a million things I didn’t say
Because I couldn’t commit
To the poet whit
But I know that I loved you so
And there’s no way I want to see you go
Should I just burst back in touch
Exclaim that I love you so much
Or just let you go and be all at sea
I’m not so sure you had the right version of me
But I’d come back to kiss your face
If you’d hold my hand and stand in place
And you’re more than just a memory
You’re a reminder of the best of me
As you look on from afar
I’ll shine on you like a distant star
Still throwing out light years worth
I don’t think we were meant to hurt
But somehow we do, for a while at least
I was smiling though my dress was creased
As you wrap your arm around my waist
It was like the ocean that I faced
And I’m sorry for my part in the play
I just never wanted you to go away

Any Day

I would take you back
Any day 
There's nothing you need to do
Nothing to say
And I've gotta tell ya 
I've always felt this way 
When you're in the room
And everything's okay
Do you mean to move
And just sashay
Do you plan it 
When you look at me that way 
As you glance up 
So innocent and wise 
There's no way you could fail 
In any of you tries
Coz my heart was yours 
Sine before we met
And I remembered something 
You seem to forget 
And it hadn't manifested
As of yet 
But you're the moment
On which I bet
And I dunno 
If the ground has been set
But you're the one real thing 
Caught in my net 

Photo by Photo by Christopher Sardegna on Unsplash.com
  

The Struggling Writer

The struggling writer
Only holds words in her hands
And she recognises 
That it's all slipping sands
As together we hold
The paper to break 
In ink we write 
Each breath that we take 
And you come apart
Like the folds and the seams 
You could be the hero 
Or the man of my dreams
But you just stand 
On the sidelines and watch 
Tell me you don't remember 
What you forgot
As the ages they span
In decades they weave
And you've always got 
A trick or two up your sleeve
That you fool me into thinking 
So that I believe
That I am the way 
You clamber trees
And make your home 
In amongst the leaves
When I lost you 
I couldn't agree
With anything 
Anyone would say 
I would just miss you 
And hope you're okay
As silence becomes 
The new norm 
And I try my best
To keep in good form 
But I'm always wishing 
And hoping for you
I don't think you know
What you started, do you? 

Photo by Anete Lūsiņa on Unsplash.com
  

The Music and the Beat

I gotta find you again
Coz you were just a really good friend
And I loved you with my whole heart
The moment you made forever start
And it wasn’t just a glance, it wasn’t just timing
It’s more than words and the way that they’re rhyming
Coz you stood strong when I faded back
You took my arm, picked up the slack
And I was weak and young and shakey
You looked in my eyes and said that you would take me
To the end of forever if that’s what it took
And I read you like my favorite book
Hiding out in some old nook
Is it okay if I take another look
I just know I’ve got to get back in touch
Coz I just love you so damn much

Sanity’s Glass

I love whiskey
In a Baileys glass
Do you like to drink?
Do you have to ask?
Because it makes me feel
More like myself
Every now and then
It’s good for my mental health
And I don’t get locked
But I do like to dance
Around in my pj’s
Like a second chance
Like there’s nobody watching
Coz nobody is
Unless you count the Lord
But I’m already his
And I smile at the sunshine
In the dark of night
Coz there’s something within me
That’s a lot like the light
They describe in tomes
And I shake it off
The rhythm of the alones
That sometimes subsides
But other times I believe
That heart is just something
I keep on my sleeve
And if nothing is everything
Why do you grieve
I walk the path
But where does it lead
Coz the road has been trodden
By many a soul
But can you still love
When the story’s been told?

Birds Eye View

I’m looking at you
From a birds eye view
And I gotta say
There is nothing new
Only the same old
Kind of magnificent
I’ve been a lot of things
I don’t know if it’s significant
That I make my own way to the shore
And you know I couldn’t love you more
Than the depth that sings our song
I don’t think we could ever be wrong

The Spark In Stephen’s Eyes

No one could deny 
The spark in Stephen’s eyes
As he talks to me he folds
Time into days of old
And he laughs, suddenly and unexpected
I hope he didn’t feel rejected
When I bowed out, when I skipped town
He has to know I love him around
And I just couldn’t fine the words to say
When I was in that place I had to stay
That his effervescence shone like stars
And you could trawl the neatest bars
Looking for a smile like that
I have to say I took off my hat
To your ardently and devoted
I open hearted and emoted
And you didn’t faze or fade away
You just let me know what it is to stay
In the light of your heavenly sun
And you may not be the one
But you’re the one who shared some time with me
I wrote this down so you might see

Isn’t That The Way

I hate the pain
Isn’t that what they say
But I couldn’t have had it
Any other way
And you kick your shoes
Up in the dirt
I never knew love
Could make you hurt
But I hold you fast
And pray that this moment last
But it was never enough
To quench my thirst
I’m a fire burning embers
As we argue across the genders
That seem to have accumulated between us
I dunno, do you think God dreamed us
Up into a sort of creation
It’s more than winter by the station
It is summer kissing booths
Reliving the passion of our youth
But I’m all but done with photo albums
I feel the pound of beating drums
Calling me back to your door
And I fainted on the floor
Yes, right out of my standing
To the dreams that they are handing
Out like they’re truth
And you just take aim and shoot
Your bullet at my heart
Your aim is good, I feel the dart
Strike me sharp and true
Am I marked with the brand of you
Or am I forever effervescent
Meeting you in essence
I let the fire go
But I still burn with it, you know


Photo by Freddy Kearney on Unsplash.com

Present Moment Movements

I’ve no interest in travel
But I’d move Heaven and Earth for you
I’d span the oceans near and wide
Just so we could be close to
The great divide that keeps us apart
The diamond in your soul
And you may have grown, but I woulda known
If your waves suddenly started to roll
If the tide had started to beat
A steady rap on my door
I gaze into distances far and away
Always hoping for a little bit more
And you were young and beautiful
Now you’re craggy and grey
You used to love me
Now you drag me each day
As I try to build fortresses
To what was
There’s an army storming gates
At the lakes of because
And who are you when you look in the mirror
Do you dine with a shirt and tie
And could you state or equivocate
What’s become just a really big lie
And dawn comes each morning
To shelter the night
In the ages we part just to ignite
The paper I’ve been setting up
How could you look at me and not call it love

Rising Water

The water rises
The fish it swims
And it seems like the sky’s
Getting closer to him
As he follows in circles
Patterns on the lake
There’s no talk of forgiveness
For the one he forsake
And there’s no talk of trouble
For idle thoughts
Does the fisherman tangle
With tackle he’s bought
And the shoes we’re all wearing
Do they know where they’re going
Coz the train of time
Doesn’t look like it’s slowing
And we’re all on this ride
Just in different seats
Do you fold your arms
Or uncross your feet
And do the sages speak truth
To the ears that you hear
Is nirvana further away
Or closer with fear
Coz we all resist
Our own enlightenment
It’s kind of like you’re a ghost
And you’ve frightened it
So now it won’t
Come out from where it hid
So you make some noise
Til it flips the lid
On the place it had found
To cover itself
But are you abandoning
All of your wealth
As you leave the world
Of thought that bind
Are you nostalgic for all
You’ve left behind
Or do you open your arms
To a new dawn
And realise that nothing
Is ever gone
That can’t be brought back
In another form
Is the sun hot?
Well, how are you warm?
And do you second guess
The wrath of the storm
One minute there’s pain
Then a baby born
Amid all the fray
And the stuff you see
If you blink your eyes
Is the darkness free
Or just momentary
To eclipse
Your names like a prayer
That sits on my lips
And if only I
Could communicate
It’s likely I’d pull
Both of us out of that state
Into the river
Where we’re rushing and free
You didn’t make a mistake
When you chose me


Photo by Silas Biasch on Unsplash.com

The Starlit Sky

The best thing about contact lenses
Is that you can see the sky
And the stars that light up
The pupils of your eye
The enveloping dark that surrounds
Burning fires that make no sound
At least not in comparison to their light
If you’re looking for diamonds at night
And I would never wear them down into a ring
Ask them to give me everything
But only appreciate their majesty
They remind me to stay free

Where’d You Get Your Hairstyle

I can’t reconcile the love I bear
With the way the fabric tear
And everything is a new seam
Do you think that we could be the dream
And I’m fighting with the tide to run
But you are my favourite one
I lie awake in bed at night
And think about your kryptonite
Think about your awning soul
And the way that we will not grow old
And how I just turned my face around
Like you were the only sound
That I could ever hear playing
You’re a melody, hey, I’m just saying
And you’re complex and deep
Could you be something I’d keep
Amidst the transitory snow
It only rains just to let go
And all the years and all the weather
Are nothing to you amongst the heather
As I make a solitary stance
Would you maybe want to dance
Out here in the open air
I loved the way you just were there
As you looked at me
And set my heart running free
To a canter that lasted years
And you brought the love not the tears
And I hold you as it crystal clears
I’m here with you throughout your fears

The Regressive Movement

Are we on the brink
Of a regressive movement
Where the skies go black
And we lose it
All to a dream
Of forever
Can we keep rowing
A hopeful endeavor
Down the river to the sea
And I’m just checking
Does He mean me?
When He says girl
Go do my will
I gotta shape up until
Destiny takes me by the hand
Says, love, it’s gonna be grand
But all I can see are these castles made of sand
And people crying out for a superman
Are we really going back
To a dark age
I spill my heart in
Ink upon the page
Say show me a way
United not divide
Where everyone has their say
And we value what’s alive
And for all the forecasts
The doommongering prophecy
I am still absorbed
By this light inside of me
That never dims, it only grows
With the heat of love it glows
Into a warm embrace
And He’s in every face
Like He lifted up His arm
And the sea was calm
So do I need to be frightened
Over the enlightened
Am I just Peter holding on to You In case he sinks
Is that my relationship to You
It could be methinks
But how do I just trust
In the words that You say
That you are with me Now
Always and everyday



Photo by Anastasia Taioglou on Unsplash.com

The Calm Amid The Storm

There’s a blizzard brewing
There’s a storm atremble
And things are beyond
What they used to resemble
As the new earth is birthed
Into consciousness
Don’t go saying
It doesn’t exist
Just close your eyes
And feel the breeze
Forgiving you
Get up off your knees
And stand firm
Stand strong, stand true
As the winds are howling
All around you
Make your stance
On a solid foundation
It’s a peaceful sort of
Education
As you trust the silence
To ever be
Whispering words
Of eternity
In the midnight, in the dawn
At the close of day
I just have this feeling
That it’s all okay
That we’re being taken care of
No matter what it seems
Don’t trust in the
Thin fabric of dreams
But on the rock
Where you plant your foot
Let the rain wash away
What you’re afraid of

Darkness Tremble

Trusting in the Christ
Was the best decision of my life
And I’m no girl to be a wife
Just one to bring the light
And I’ve always trusted in you
From the living room to the pew
Singing songs in tribute to
The glory and the faith I have in you
And darkness eventually came to call
I’m young and lying against a wall
Crying tears in a free for all
But you brought the love to stop the fall
And lift me up, now I’m on my feet
And I know there’s nothing I could meet
That would bring me defeat
Now that your mercy speak
For me amongst the chasm so bleak
How am I standing if I’m weak
And there’s nothing left to seek
Now that I’ve found that holy heat
That burns in the heart of me
A consciousness that’s been set free
As I proclaim eternity
In every blade of grass that I see
Called upon to be the voice
To speak silence in the noise
And draw all souls into you
Just tell me what to do

Camera Phones

We’re all muscle and bone
And I’m mad so leave me alone
Coz you don’t understand
And you don’t see what I have planned
And you’re lovely and angelic
And perfect prose
I see you stare
At me through the rows
Of people lined up in there
And I know you care
I can see it in your face
Your visage a mirage I can’t erase
In beautiful light
Wherever ya are I hope you’re alright
And you just kind of stood strong
And I think you liked me but I could be wrong
As you threw your arm around my shoulder
Are we wiser now that we’re older
Or just dull, grey and dumb
Replacing the vibrant of the young
Do you still burn
I could set my heart by your axis turn
And I live to learn
And you’re the one for which I yearn
In demons, dreams and spider webs
I wish I’d told the truth instead
Of hiding out among the fold
And your eyes they simply scold
As they try to figure me out
You’re so sure and I’m all doubt
As I falter another line
And you catch me the thousandth time
As I look you in the eye
It’s the kind of love that could never die
And that time you were drunk and you just stopped
When I said hi coz I think you’re hot
But I wouldn’t risk that when you’re sober
You lit up a dark October
With your sleight of hand
And that time you liked the band
You dreamboat, you
I really don’t know what to do
With the part of my heart you’ve carved into
Like I’m tree bark and you’re writing it true
In ink I’m maybe meant to see
You were so damn good to me
And I wonder where you are right now
I let my walls down, I’ll allow
You to know me real
I meant it when I let you feel
The closeness of my soul to yours
And there’s something that my heart adores
In your heavenly glow
I could see myself with you, you know

Peace In The Modern Age

Peace in the modern age
Is looking towards the sage
And the guidance that they issue forth
Whether I’m in a cave or on your porch
And there’s no need to bang on doors
Or be windswept on the moors
For love to come true
It lives in the heart of you
And fire ignites but the Spirit knows
That where the path leads It goes
Down subtle lanes or foggy marsh
You’re not alone in the dark
Coz its guidance never leaves
It doesn’t need you to believe
Only trust and let go
Have faith in what you do not know
Nor can you ever understand
How It holds you in Its palm
And you are never left unfulfilled
Because the Love of God is willed

The Star That Shines

Dazzling star I want to sing you a song
That you could never ever put a foot wrong
That you are sitting so high in the sky
And I’m gonna love you til the day that I die
And you are so shy but you’re strong and secure
And my God do you reflect something pure
As it’s dancing in your eyes like a moon on a lake
And all these cobblestones I will forsake
As I make my way to you once more
Do you think he’d be behind the closed door
And all I’d have to do is knock
I sure think he still loves me a lot
And gentle is the sound that you resound
You give me the feeling of solid ground
And I wish to hold you but you’re far away
Probably making loads of other people’s day
Like you shone in mine for a while
I will never forget the smile
You smiled at me when I stopped at your place
I hold dear that look on your face
And what a night, it is billowing smoke
And I’m older now and more prone to joke
Around just a little bit
And boy were you looking fit!
But it’s more than that and I think you know
Yours are fields I would love to go
And lay down in the meadow and contemplate the stars
A billion lights to show me what you are
And hold your hand or lift up your head
Do you think I could love you instead?
Instead of this incessant wandering around
I think you were the home that I found

Days With Darragh

There were days with Darragh
When my point of view was decidedly narrow
He saw me like a girl, I saw him like a friend
It has been years though and it doesn’t end
As I still reflect on his heartbeat
When we danced with both our feet
And shine with all our might
I can’t ignore your candlelight
And your fire that just burn
It’s more than degrees we earn
As we spend time into each other’s company
And I’m always thinking, what does he want of me
But he just smiles and looks in my eyes
I let go camouflage I keep to disguise
The darkness in the heart of my soul
But he just surfs the waves that I roll
And then laughs when he sees my car
Buys me a drink at the bar
And makes me smile, makes me laugh
And he does it all without me needing to ask
And I wonder does his fire sign match mine
As we dance to the rhythm of the rhyme
And he’s red as a burning flame
I’m surprised he even remembers my name
But his is etched upon my skin
I loved him so I let him in
Let him see the hesitate
And he just pulls me out of that state
And never ever makes me wait
But breaks apart into something new
I don’t know if you know who you are, do you?


Photo by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash.com

The Generalised Anxiety

Something must be wrong
Because people are being nice
And things are going my way
And everything’s alright
And I’ve got this dread
That just sits in my gut
It’s like running thread
Where you place your foot
As you foretell the future
With a negative slant
They say anxiety
Is born from what you can’t
Bear to consider
As time is passing by
I try to catch the air
But it just seems to fly
Out from my fingers
Away from my grasp
Is there anything on earth
That was built to last
Coz everywhere I look
Somethings fading away
Even the sun
Has only billions of years to stay
And everything on earth
Though it grows and it’s green
Will one day disappear
Out of the realm of the seen
So I’m shaking as I’m taking
Each breath that I unknot
They say I’m seeing sideways
But I think that they forgot
That everything’s an ocean
When you feel you’ve got to swim
And if there is no storm
Then where do I begin
To tell the story of the tide
As it moves to the beat
I think I’m finding ground
Where I can stand my feet
And it’s making me nervous
To feel so damn good
I’m so used to being nervous
And lost in the wood
And if there’s any shelter
That I find inside
I’ll let you know the meaning
Of the daydream that I hide
I’ll let you know the shortcut
Back to where there’s peace
Where the winds have quieted down
To my own relief

Staring At The Stars

Does eternity gaze at you 
When you’re staring at the stars
And do you think you could see their lights
Through your prison bars
Coz we’re all in the gutter
But some of us are looking up
Is it just a mirage
To say that I’m in love
Coz the guy don’t even know me
Or so it would seem
And he’s looking for a girlfriend
Not for a sky high queen
And I can’t figure out what it may mean
My friend says it’s an expression of what I dare to dream
And he’s taken by another so I’ve got to let it go
I say I’m not cold, though I’m standing in the snow
And he was like a stranger that day on the phone
I’d never felt so embarrassed or left all alone
As I told him that I loved him, that I held him dear
And he made the situation all too crystal clear
And I’m just clutching at straws
Because the ice never thaws
I’m just frosting up the glass
And he was just lounging on the grass
As I waited and I wondered
And slightly ran away
Out of fear of what I felt
And of what I might say
Because it’s too good to be true
This couldn’t be real
That I get all I want
And spare cards to deal
And it’s so obvious
He’s what I’m looking for
As I stand outside
Just staring at his door
And there’s light and there’s warmth
But it’s all inside
I’m shivering and I’m shaking
From the window where I hide
Do I finally let this go
Or knock and be seen
I wouldn’t mind the weather
Coz it is just a dream
And there are passers by
Telling me, go home
I didn’t dare to mention
That it’s inside an iPhone
And I dig my hands down deeper
Into the pockets of my coat
I’m taking this too far
And what is worse I know it
So I take one last look
As I head for the trees
To live a life of freedom
Instead of living on my knees
But as I go I hear a shout
That he can’t do without
I turn and I glare
And he’s just standing there
In a dressing gown and slippers
Looking oh so calm
But I can’t run back
To another false alarm
And anyway he’s got company
And I won’t lead astray
Go back to what you made
It’ll be the break of day
And we’re miles apart
In the feet that we span
And I’ll always love you
Though I don’t know if you can
Love me just to leave me
So let me go this time
I would if I could, he says
But you’d still be mine
And I glower and I pout
Though it does me no good
He frowns in return
As I turn back for the wood
Because I can’t do this
Anymore, my love
I don’t have a reason
So look to God above
And you’ll find your answers
It’s everything they say
Maybe I am strong
To leave this and away
But he pulls me with force
The mere magnet strength
And I look for my courage
Coz I don’t know where it went
As I’m grappling with stones
Trying to get a hold
And all of this flipping the switch
Is getting old
And anyway, who is she
And how can I say
That I can’t find adequate
Means to stay away
And she’s silent and staring
Just looking at me
Trying to fight
With his gravity
In the den of the house
That used to be mine
But he threw me out
When I took the time
To really study
And explore
The nature of
A solid floor
So I relent, give in
And feel myself swayed
It’s not for loneliness
That this is okayed
And they both turn around
Leave the door open
A little glance back
But I amn’t coping
And freezing I rise
Up to my feet
As I step on the mat
It’s neighbors they greet
And I see the old furniture
I used to know
Step into the light
And let the pain go
Give up on the solitary
Lone expanse
Though it’s been years
Since we thought to dance
And I see there’s a room
At the end of the hall
With a door open
He says it’s yours and all
And I finally know
Come to realise
That they’re living in what
I built for their lives
And all this time
We’re waiting to see
The masterpiece
Foretold by me
In the din, in the quiet
In the subside
I lay down to rest
And close my eyes
To finally know
A slumber that’s real
He didn’t leave me
He just let me feel
All of his peace
So that I could deal
With the moment as
It’s resting long
And my God
I belong!
And she doesn’t hate me
Coz it is cool
I think I may have
Dreamt this in school
So I rub my eyes
Shake myself out
Get rid of the fear
Lose all the doubt
Find the heart
That heats my soul
All is Love
That’s the story I’m told



Photo by Taneli Lahtinen on Unsplash.com

The State Of Dreaming

The fabric of time is spread like a veil
Across the land and without fail
It seems to obscure the shining light
That God brings forth with all Its might
And there was a moment when I pierced through
It saw me and I see you
As the heavy folds and creases of success
Supplanted themself in the dress
The cosmos wears to fresh eyes
And I saw through earthly disguise
As everything enveloped and was new
And it whispered winds as the breath of you
In sudden realizations and gradual growth
I develop the strength inside It sowed
To finally wake and see
That everything is all it should be
And that Reality
Never fails to be free
And hold us all together
Make the seasons, change the weather
And bring back what you lost
Love is Beauty and there’s no cost

Photo by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash.com

Candyfloss Dreams

Craving that sugar rush
And you were my favorite crush
And you smile and I see stars
Running and I’m chasing cars
Down the street like a dog and its tail
You know that you’re bound to fail
When you set yourself up like that
And I know I want you back
But you use a poké attack
And I’m left standing on my own
After I left my colours shown
Wondering why with so little a endeavor
At civility, I could never
Understand just why and when
And I’m always hoping to see you again
But I just don’t get men
Coz you shout then you wish I was there
I ask for your love and you say you don’t care
And you’re harsh and unpleasant and drive me away
Did you mean to sabotage my stay?
Or were you just anticipating the leave
I watch you silent and I believe
That there’s more to you
But I just don’t know what to do
As I let your hand go to your side
And I’m okay but I think you have cried
Will you remember this for me
I loved you so I set you free

The Forest

Growing out of the old tree
There are rings around the best of me
As I try to be tall and strong
But the wind blows to prove me wrong
In the forest with all my peers
Scattered light to crystal clear
The pine floor for the girl who walks
And it’s to those beings that she talks
And hears their reply like the soul in the air
She wasn’t home til she went there
And lay down under their canopy
Living love like a recipe
To fathom days that have lost their weight
And she has given up on hate
Coz it only defeats itself
Like icicles in sun to melt
And she squares up with the cards she’s been dealt
And the monumental that she’s felt
It’s all come to naught but here
She’s still among friends so dear
That listen as they simply sway
She sighs and would not have it any other way

The House In The Woods

I love you like the stretch in the evening
The years I spent just believing
That you’re the one I appreciate
Now everything is pulling me into that state
Where I see the land as a living, breathing being
It’s a complete change in the manner of seeing
And you’re just like a dream to be woken up to
I was a different person before I met you
And I’m not so sure who I am anymore
Do you remember the days you called to my door
You didn’t knock, you just walked in
And I double took the look of him
As he sits in my favorite place to rest
Like he’s on some solitary quest
And I just want you to know
That I’m somewhere you can always go
If you like, just for a cup of tea
You opened my eyes and now I see
All that was hidden before
Though you don’t call round anymore
I still carry you in my heart
I don’t think we’re ever apart

Photo by Pawel Nolbert on Unsplash.com

Soul Brother

There were years I walked in UCD
Without anyone really recognizing me
And I fell in love with the dream of someone
He calls me friend, I call him the one
And we walk paving stones of grey
He looks in my eyes and I’m okay
But a little bit shy
I try to scrutinize you but I don’t know why
You let it go free as you stare at me
And I’m appalled at my own insecurity
But he bought me a drink
And that made me think
That maybe we could be something more
I stop my car, he stops at the door
And we both stare into each other’s eyes
Like there are no lies
And in that moment I knew it was true
That you had been thinking about me and you
And I don’t know how you are but I hope you’re well
Are you indifferent, I could never tell
Coz you’re one way, then you’re another
But you’ve got the feel of a soul brother
And I’d be there to catch your hand
I hope you understand
That I have a wandering heart
I’m always finding paths that I can start
To pick up a trail but I would be true
To the moments that I shared with you
Like that time I woke up and caught your eye
I had messy hair in the bed where I lie
And you’re sitting just away from me
I sink down so he won’t see
My sheepish look to find him there
In the girls dorm without a care
Or when you were chillin’ with the boys
You kinda silence all the noise
And I’m scittish and scare easy, I’m all for the run
But I always swore I’d come back for this one
Coz he loved me, I know it, I can feel the fire burn
And he’s red as the hearth as the axis turn
And I may be betrothed to an old flame
But I’m always remembering your name
And could we be close in some way you decide
I’m not messin’ round with that look in your eyes
But I don’t know how to promise what I don’t understand
And I have to say there’s another man
With eyes like a storm or a hurricane
But the truth is that I left you in vain
Coz you’re good to me, you’re kind and you never rust
You’re the kind of steady in which I can trust
And I need to know just what we were
I let you see the love I’m for
As we cascade in endless light
How have you been, are you alright?

Secret Admiration

I was struck by your statuesque 
But I was scared of what comes next
And I can see it in your eyes
Does he really see through my disguise
That I’ve already gone and given away
A heart that only leaves to stay
And now I’m fake frowns and insolent
Following everywhere he went
Coz I can love you at a distance
It’s the path of least resistance
And I can study runes and tropes
Let you be the sail I set to the winds of hope
And you could call it creepin’
I’m staring at you when I should be sleeping
And then I stand out in the sun
Do you think I could be the one
But he’s looking beyond me to something else
So I try to be the ice that melts
But I’ll always be simply glacial
And you’re saying bye to Rachel
And I’m wondering what you think of me
If there was any way to let you see
The loyalty you’ve won from my steady soul
I’ll love you better when we get old
And you shake me out of your hair
But don’t you know that I’m still there
And I can be whatever you need
I can be the air that you breathe
Or just someone you pass by
I’ll look disinterested if you want me to try
And you’re not as fearsome as you project
And I’m not as neat as you’d expect
Is it time to maybe let you see
That you’ve really got a hold on me
And I wouldn’t have it any other way
I’ll let you hear what I don’t say

The Heavens

The Heavens 
Wait on no man’s elevens
They’re open sky
Professing what can never die
Great spaciousness
To the space within they do address
Their words
I’m silent tones
Remind you that
You’re never alone
But held by
A beauty you don’t even try
To find because it’s just there
A depth too fathomless to care
About the wear and tear
That the body sustains
There is openness beyond the rain
And you will see them again
So don’t tear yourself to shreds in your room
Yesterday is as close as tomorrow is soon
And we’re all resting in God’s palm
Let go of the grief and trust the calm
Of knowing that you’re one with peace
And there are some things that never cease
Like Love endures beyond the realm
Of death that seems to overwhelm
As you hold together what you know
But you have to let them go
And let the night turn into day
It’s supposed to be this way
And the rock of ground you stand on
Will testify that they’re not gone
Only holding space for you
You didn’t think it was anything else, did you?

Fangirling The Music

I see him in my minds eye
Talking to me and I almost cry
Because he’s been my hero since I was fourteen
Walking the cobblestones of almost been
And I’m moody and sad and no one understands
But I’ve found one of the coolest bands
With my music player and my hoodie
I am my own bestest buddy
As I walk up the land in the cold and the dusk
And there’s something in this sound that I can trust
And everything is loss, it’s all taken away
And I’m older at the close of day
As I see through the apparent facade
That it’s all pulled away isn’t bad
But you won’t know it yet, my dearest child
It’s only the beginning of a life in the wild
But you’re hollow and lonely and you kick your shoes
In the dirt like the dust rising gives you the blues
But the depth turns to awesome
The darkness to sky
And in the night
You don’t have to lie
Only find what’s there to be discovered
It’s almost like his music finally uncovers
The expanse of freedom that’s there to find
Don’t worry over what isn’t so kind
You’ll find your worth in more than she say
There’s a sunrise to mark the break of day
Only it’s eternal and never fades
It’s bright as the sun but you don’t need shades
In the white light of pure consciousness
I found freedom and I confess
I owe the steady hand to Snow Patrol
They kind of dove deep into my soul
And if I’m ever a success I’m gonna find that guy
Write him a letter to try
To elucidate something real
You open the door on what it is to feel
And mountains and valleys are nothing to you
I bet if time stopped you’d just walk through
To where you’ve always been
If life is Love then you’re the Unseen

Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash.com

Let’s Not Repeat The Past

Violence seems to have been endemic 
As one fights the other for what they have
And there’s oceans of pain
Touching the land
Let’s not repeat the past
Where brother fights brother
There’s no “civil” war
It’s always hurting another
And there are parts of the world
Where they cannot eat
Why don’t we provide
Instead of pound our feet
On pavements grey
As blank as our souls
How could we leave sisters and others
To the cold
Coz we have the capacity
The ingenuity
To grow out of
What we’re told to be
As I stare at my phone
To find an answer
But they said it better
Human as dancer
And we’ve all got spirit
We’ve all got heart
And there are people
Who can’t stand to be apart
And others who know
In the depths of their being
That this story we live
Is just something we’re seeing
And we can grow tall
But when we wake up
We see that it was
All held in love
And dynamic as breathing
Is the answer to all that we’re needing
And I’m from a nation
That’s been beaten and bruised
Slaves for another
Is how we were used
As we till our land
Then hand over
The bread that we need
That’s some four leafed clover
And there’s defiance and pride
There’s anger and rebel
But fighting the evil
Only sends you to hell
As we can attest
After all the years
Centuries
Of crying tears
And growing up
Found me strong
But I was always too prone
To point out the wrong
And it found me in a room
With my head in my hands
Attesting to
All those slipping sands
But adversity made me
And now I can stand
And say that under the storm
There’s land
That will hold steady
Under your feet
And they grow the crop
But they can’t eat
As we use and usurp
The imbalance we own
There’s no hiding it
It’s commonly known
So how do we change
What seems so entrenched
Do you ever run out
In rain and get drenched
To you ever just feel
The wind on your skin
Can you let go
Can you let it begin?
As the motion of movement
The breath of change
Gathers all the atoms
And will rearrange
If we’re just willing
To be the avenue
The vehicle
That was given to you
Where is your heart
Your purpose right here
What do you love
What do you hold dear
Can you be total
In what you do
Or is life just a drag
That is pulling on you
Lowly and heavy
In deadening sound
After years in the snow
Did we finally hit ground
And can we make
Our castles on rock
Or maybe create
Something that’s not
Ever been heard of
Or ever been seen
What’s your personal legend
What is your dream
Can we reverse
The damage we’ve made
As a child I was
Always safe in the shade
But there are people who labour
In the hot sun
Others that live
And die by the gun
There’s got to be other ways
Than what we’ve created
I see life as abundant
Though it’s already been stated
That we’re transforming
Into a new species
Graciousness
Replacing facetious
Can we be aware
Of the fire in our soul
The substratum
That is effortlessly whole
As we beat our own hearts
As one people united
I let go of the war
Coz I cannot fight it
I let go of the hatred
Coz it is defeated
And I found Truth
Though I cannot speak it
It just announces itself
In silent tones
And I found teachers
On iPhones
From one trouble
To a Saviour
Do you think you could
Love your neighbour
As yourself
Is it underway
I think I see light
At the break of day



Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.com

The Checking Machine

I remember the day the checking started
Like some love that was imparted
As if I watch every move
Of everything as if to prove
I could solve every problem
Save myself from the doldrum
But it only got worse and more severe
Now there’s always danger near
That I can negate with a tap
Just don’t question what I’m at
Coz it’s totally normal or don’t you see
Not for everyone but it is for me
And I’m balancing on a rope so tight
As long as I’m steady I’m alright
But I don’t have the room to fight
I must concentrate on the light
And that’s what it’s like to have a reverie
From ten years old to twenty three
And it’s not what you might imagine
It’s kind of like dealing with some sort of dragon
That chases me down and holds me to account
But I’ve got to be careful because the amount
Of stuff that could go wrong
Is washed away by this song
And I run the risk of walking through
This disorder I’ve become accustomed to
And letting it go means something new
A land untraveled but you
Are aching just to follow
And now you let everyone know
So that they can see that you
Struggle with the nighttime too
That the darkness has a way
Of breaking into the light of day
And if you trust and allow
The Divine to take control somehow
You’ll be carried like a wave
The purpose of His Love to save
And walk away from all the chasms
Like bulletproof teflonic has ‘ems
Taking care of all you’ve known
I don’t know but it is just shown
Like colours of a new born sky
I trust the Truth and the lie
Is washed away from me once more
You gotta love what you adore



Photo by Colton Duke on Unsplash.com

All My Love

I always thought that someday we’d marry
And there was that day when I met Gary
And it’s awesome, it’s cool, it’s so fuckin’ rad
To meet the best guy that you’ve never had
And he’s laid back and breezy
But I know it isn’t easy
As he grabs my CD and throws me a look
But I keep my eyes on the ground as my legs shook
And I can’t believe I couldn’t speak
And that I almost felt a little weak
And he’ll never know the star he is
And the part of my heart that’s his
In the young days of teenage and a little bit sad
He kept me company when I felt bad
And wandered through woods and went on long walks
Avoiding looks and the way that time talks
And that awning chasm when someone leaves
I almost felt that no one believes
Or sees things the way I do
But that was before I found you
And I know that I’m not alone
With my discman before an iPhone
The soul that you spirit into my aura
And I know that they call me Laura
But I feel like so much more when I’m listening to you
You don’t know the blessing you’ve been, do you?

Forever And A Day

I’d wait for you forever
Forever and a day
Love you unconditional
Baby, come what may
And I know you’ve got your attitude
I know you’ve got your pride
And I have a tendency
To run away and hide
But I can see us in the morning
When the sun kisses the sky
Among the waves of clouds
And wondering the reason why
And I know you’ve got your love
I know you’ve got your heart
It’s just I don’t think that we
Should ever be apart
But shine like a diamond
In a twofold connect
I don’t think the earth
Has seen the best of us yet
Coz I am full of fire
And red vibrancy
You’re as blue as the ocean
And as deep as love can be
And together we make something
That could only free
I tried to push the point
Coz I don’t think that you see
And you call me revolutionary
A laid back rebel soul
I call you like the chasm
That is the waves to roll
And everything is scorching
But it’s also pretty cool
I see you like the summer
We met after school
Just laughing on the bus
As we made our way back
I didn’t give you a reason
For you to hide what you lack
Coz everything is seen
In this closeness that we wear
We’re tangled up like Spiderman
In the cobwebs of my hair
And it’s just a dream I’m having
Or it’s on the astral plane
But you come to call
Over and over again
And I can’t keep you out
From the warmth in my heart
I don’t know why I’d want to
But I think we’re gonna start
To make something as real
And as beautiful as true
I didn’t tell you at the time
But I’m madly in love with you

The Thunder and the Silence

The thunder rolls and the ground trembles
It’s all of me that it disassembles
As I’m unmade a storm
And the heat of your beat keeps my heart warm
And the stars come out to light your night
I wipe my tears coz I’m alright
But I’m missing you now days are long
And I cry but I’m still strong
Coz I don’t show how I let it hit
I keep it in coz I’m good at it
And it’s only in my room that I break down
Let it out and go to town
And there’s an ocean all around
If you listen carefully you can hear the sound
Of the tide against the rocks
I wake up and it stops
And suddenly in a moment I’m free
And there seems to be some kind of light shining from me
As vibrantly I intone
Whether with someone or all alone
So I praise my Saviour
You know you were the one who raised her
Up from the mess she lay
You show me love and I’m okay
And it’s all I can do not to shout your name
Now that I know you it’s not the same
And I just radiate the glow
That you gave to me, you know
And it’s as true as the Sun
As bright as you are the One
And I kneel coz I’m young
And the down days are done
In one fell swoop you reside
I’m coming out of the darkness in which I hide
And let the light permeate
If it’s the Now, why wait?



Photo by Matti Johnson on Unsplash.com

Runaway Stars

I fall in love with a ten
Then resolve to never see them again
Because is to love to be caught
Is to give the same as bought
As he smiles and I see in his eyes
The dawn of a new sunrise
So I click escape on the dial
Say I was with you for a while
And for the first time someone doesn’t mind
Say I know you don’t leave behind
What you hold in your steady heart
I’ve trusted you from the start
And I am pulled back into his gaze
I don’t need you to try and save
Me but could you hold still
While I let you see my deepest will
That love be shared and all adored
Coz he said no and I was floored
But I picked myself up from where I lay
I smiled at you and it’s okay
And you’re just talking really fast
But we got time, this is gonna last
Though I don’t know how, where or when
But I know I’m gonna see you again
And the map is full of uncharted places
You are deep and you make spaces
For all and everyone
And I’m okay but I’m not done
See I’ve got to show you the sky
The patterns where the Heavens lie
As they unfold from above
And everything I see is love
Not just a moment or two
But every second I spent with you
Do you think you could love me free
So I can be who I’m meant to be
And profess my ardent devotion
In a quiet space without commotion
Do you think I could mean to you
Exactly what I want to
Or are the days all for passing
My attempts just harassing
You from the place where you stare
I just know that you were there
In the full fledged of an open heart
Can I tell you the truth and let it start
As we both breathe in the air
I’m just trying to be fair
To you now that I’m wild and free
I don’t know if you can rely on me
But he brushes my fraught attempts aside
Says that he can see me hide
And I don’t have to run away
I can be shy coz that’s okay
That it’s alright not to know
To be unsure where you go
But full of heart without reason
It’s every day that makes a season
It’s every night that makes a week
It’s in the silence you don’t speak
As he offers me his steady hand
Says you can trust the place we stand
You can let a garden grow
I look at him and just know
That I can let my diamond shine
He’s been there for me all this time

The Forest and the Memory

Am I just gonna have to let you go
Coz there doesn’t seem to be any way to know
That you are here and you are there
And you know I’ll always care
As the forest closes in on the memory of us
And I dunno where to place my trust
As the ages all fold one into the other
You’re my soulmate, yeah you’re my brother
And I really hope that you’re well
But there doesn’t seem to be any way to tell
Except just to live in the light
And pray to God that you’re alright

The Social Anxiety

The feeling of panic when I’m talking to people
I’m much more at home under a steeple
Praying to God for all that could be
But I’m so far from normal and I think they can see
And is it just ego to say I’m afraid
That I spend the whole day in the shade
Just to avoid what I’m speaking of
I refract diamonds and call it love
And do I just make small what’s colossal inside
Run away from eyes and hide
Until someone finds me behind the curtain
I’m sorry for weakness and all the hurting
I’m sorry for being unusually proud
Defiant and brave as I say it out loud
That it’s okay and I see you too
I want everyone to know it so that they see through
The veneer of strong that I put off
We are one people and all is not lost
And everyone’s got something that they keep secret
But I’m gonna tell it instead of keep it
Like a story that’s been too long in the dark
A tree whose leaves are as bright as its bark
Even in the winter snow
I love a lot so I let it all go


Photo by Bernardo Artus on Unsplash.com

Somewhere On The Internet

Resisting the urge to look up your name
Coz I want to know you’re not in pain
That you’re as happy as can be
Because you’re an ocean, a whole sea
But times have been hard on all of us
And I never want to make a fuss
But will you be okay as you lay down tonight
I hope to the heavens that you’re alright
Coz you sang me a song, it was a whole tune
And I danced when there was no one else in the room
To your take on things, a beautiful sky
I love you and think you’re a pretty swell guy

Abidance

I feel like I’m out of the loop
Now that I’m no longer sitting on the stoop
Like a lonesome bird
And what are the words that you think you have heard
Coz it all spiraled out of my control
When I tried to capture your soul
And you rebelled with a defiant stance
How dare I ask you to dance
But there was just this music, you mustn’t hear it
It’s beautiful and it crystal clears it
As the vision is foggy in the car
I still have no sense of what you are
Coz you defy definition in your design
And you are good looking, if you don’t mind
And I just want to write a tome to your earth
The reality that could never hurt
As you assuage
And I get really mad
But it’s no good
You still leave like I thought you would
But what I don’t understand
Is how any of this could’ve been preplanned
Or destiny
I watch you like you’re there for me
Though you move to the side
I stay on my own and abide

Syllables

She writes music that catches in your soul
As if all the waves have to do is roll
And midnight comes before each dawn
So don’t lament what’s gone
Because it will come around again anew
You can’t miss what is destined for you
And I hope that’s true coz he’s all I see
What if he was never meant for me
I wonder and I pause and I flip through the prose
What if he is the one that fate chose
To hold my hand and be the One
I see him like he’s the Son
Of God in garden grass
And I wonder if all I had to do was ask
Would you maybe wanna be my guy
I know I’m quiet and I didn’t try
But do you think you could take a look
And read me like your favorite book
And it’s fine if you don’t know my name
I’m gonna love you all the same
And wish you the wealth of wisdom and heart
I never thought we’d be so long apart

Awesome

Cheers to you Stephen O’ Brien
You made the days feel like they were flying
When I was stuck in a peculiar hell
And you were the one that I’d tell
Now I’m raising a glass to your sincere
Your beautiful and held dear
With your rugged ways and your intone
We’re just talking on a video phone
And I catch myself then laugh out loud
You are something to be proud
Of now the days are short
You’re something yourself I retort
As we’re held in this glance for a moment or two
There’s just something about you
I wonder if space and time
Would ever repaint your days as mine
And I know you could call this therapy
But you’ve got to know what you mean to me
As I throw asunder all the folds
And creases to be brave and bold
You can’t believe this is all I am
There’s more to me and I know you can
See beyond the apparent face
To the depths of profound Grace
To the love that’s held between us both
I’d wear you like an overcoat
As you just laugh and crease your eyes
And I’ve got no time for goodbyes
Just the moment that’s held in a stare
I love you coz you were there
And made me feel like I was home
Instead of in a room all alone
I gotta know, you gotta see
What would the days be like if we
We’re to make this something else
I know I’m getting ahead of myself
But you’re magnificent and perfectly prose
And I’d walk down any of your roads
If it meant that I could catch your eye
You’re alright, man, it’s worth a try

The Sky’s A Sea

It’s rumbling up a storm at the heart of me
Like tumbling through the dawn that’s a part of me
As the sun breaks the sky open in half
And we stare at the stars just for laugh
As it’s six am and internally
I’m screaming where the hell have you gone to be
Coz I’m in need and you’re the cause
I hit the diff and it says pause
As I wait on all your errant air
There was a time you were really there
And what was it I saw in your stare
That convinced me of an answered prayer
Coz you are the rhyme and reason
And every springtime is just a season
Where the new and green get to grow
I was flattered and I know you know
That that bird could think to alight
On my shoulder to put all things right
In growing up and getting sane
Come on now, brother, can you feel the rain
As it’s pouring through the veil
And, man, I am not for sale
For a pretty word and a smile
But for your depth I’d walk the mile
That it takes to reach back to you
I’m not a function of what you put me through
Only speaking of the light that shines
I watch you as you move with the times

Mutual Appreciation

It was mutual appreciation 
As I happened upon your station
And my eyes flick to yours
It’s nothing really, he demurs
As he blinks his eyes
Trying to calm my stormy skies
But my words fall silent
As the sea is calmed by the ultraviolet
Light that is
And for the moment that light is his
As he breathes in air
With a Presence that’s really there
It reflects my own
And he notices the change in tone
I can see him stare
As if he knows of all that’s there
I hold out my hand
Do you want to dance coz your looking grand
And he smiles askance
Like the earth is ground to hold our hands
And hesitate
“Could I really pull her out of that state”
But I’m not really in
And I think he knows as I’m looking at him
And bursts out laughing at something I say
And I feel the waves he holds at bay
Like oceans of hair that lap his face
And there’s not a single one out of place
Do I decide
To finally come out of the place where I hide
Shur, looket, I say, amn’t I fine anyway
I’ve been saving my courage for the journey
But would I make it with two
I’d sure as hell take that chance with you
And he pauses, then stares
And I can see that he cares
About everyone that comes his way
He really listens to what they have to say
But I love you, could I let that escape
Confess to the hero without a cape
Like some secret utterance to the stars
And I see us in different circumstances in bars
As you buy me a drink
But it’s more than that, I know, I think
Could we be friends?
He holds his hands out and I make amends
With all I’ve been keeping somewhere inside
He smiles at me and I am alive
But how do I let him know
The gratitude that suddenly flow
From my heart to yours and back again
One of the beautiful, born again men
Oh, to see the city
With you by my side, so sharp and so witty
I just smile
Then see you’ve been watching this whole while
Reading the book
Of the passing phases of my look
That you may see love
Coz you’ve been gifted from above
With those beautiful eyes
Heaven’s on Earth, I surmise
As you tell a little tale
Of something you love that isn’t for sale
I would that I could lend you my soul
So that you could know peace when the waves roll
Or maybe you do
I just want you to see the beauty that’s you
The masculine
The quintessence of the Divine

Questions For God

I trudged through the snow
I am miserable or don’t you know
No reply
Why on earth does everyone die
My feet crunch the ground
I savor the essence of unreciprocated sound
I mumble aloud
And relish the silence away from the crowd
And grumble two tone
Why do you always leave me alone?
It’s always like this
Together for a moment and then you just miss
All the ways you felt complete
The gravel groans beneath my feet
As I haul the bin up the hill
If only love was an effort of will
I could turn this around
But emptiness is the only sound
And I cherish the day
He looked in my eye and then looked away
It’s in a video reel
And for years anger is all that I feel
How dare you take him away
There’s no point reaffirming that he cannot stay
But the eyes are all empty as I look for a reason
A kind of vacancy that is all out of season
Perhaps my misery
Will prove how much he meant to me
But the anguish just twists
And I merely coexist
With the essence of death
Counting each in and out of my breath
Or heartbeat
It’s iambic pentameter against my feet
Anyway
I don’t believe in what they say
They’re all crying
And then proclaim Heaven is for the dying

Flashback, it’s been twenty years
So I question my thoughts and dry my tears
To the age of youth
And the darkness of day the sun didn’t suit
But I found him there, among the ashes and the rubble
He looked at me and burst my little bubble
And I give thanks to what once I hate
The God of Love to make me irate
By stealing all I could call my own
I’m lying in bed and praying for home
But it never comes
Oh, the trauma of being young
I’m undone
And somehow I feel this song has been sung
By someone
Years before I begun
It’s getting old
Like the body I hold
And the days are all long
Then suddenly short
And all of the principles that I exhort
Prove to be vain
And I stand outside in the pouring rain
To catch the air
Do you believe in the power of prayer
To let go into
Can I be
Something more
Than destiny
Because this body I wear
Is all athletic and long brown hair
Do you resonate
With what is only a temporary state
We’re all on the move
From the moment of spark to the point that I prove
What have you got to lose
Only the worldview you live to excuse
What don’t you settle here
Under a tree as it breathes you clear

I snap out of it
Is to give in the same as to quit
And I’m going with it
A sort of defiance I never admit
But the beer bottle’s empty and I’m reaching for wine
I am the queen of a helluva time
But really it’s empty coz I cannot decide
Which stop is my own if this life is a ride
I breathe in the air
And think of the way he suddenly stare
A moment out of time
Like immortal just stepped out of line
And my gumption and war
I don’t know what this is for
As I twirl his name
On my fingernails like it’s just the same
As yesterday
He pierced the veil then went away
And I love him so
But goodbyes around every corner, you know
And I wish and hope
He’s found someone real, something cool, something dope
But anyway
Returning to that which I cannot say
It hit me like light
And set a fire to ignite
And I’m all the trees
The wood of could you ever believes
And I see his face
A recognition no time could erase
To be angry at God
Give him back to me again, oh Lord
But it doesn’t work that way
Apparently and what I say
Falls on deaf ears
And is it just temper to coax the tears
Until I can’t stop them and they pour as rain
I’m awake in the night all over again
To be left behind
Is to spend some time trapped in your mind

But He woke me up
And He called that love
Though I can’t express
What I’m thinking of
Caught in a decider
So perfectly fate
And the present moment
Means you don’t wait
But I’m always counting time
On the watch, on the clock that isn’t mine
Do you think it could be
That we all live eternally
In some dimension
In a realm of time that by extension
Means we don’t have to suffer
And I’m always thinking of her
And what I’ve lost
I sob til the tears exhaust
My futile will
It’s everything that must fill
The pail of water to the brim
I remember when it was the two of them
Under the sun
By the gate
They wouldn’t approve
Of me in this state
But how am I
To know the reason that they die
If I don’t weep
It’s kind of like some bargain I keep
But it’s letting me go
The pain and the suffering you know
And pay testament to
The Heavenly I found in you
And remember quiet
That I don’t have to try to defy it
Only surrender
Maybe love is what I engender