The Hidden Dark

Running from the dark wolf in my closet
That wasn’t a sin now was it
Coz I’ve been recounting tales
Since I was knee high
And everything that lives seems to die
And I don’t know why
So I fight and I toil
And I break and I boil
Coz there are atrocities
In the human endeavor
And I’ve always been seduced
By the promise of forever
Coz it’s bulletproof
And no matter how aloof
She is I know
There’s part of us that don’t let go
In the years we grow
Up and out
And our self doubt
In a mountain aware
I love the feeling of you being there

The Sound Of One Heart Breaking

Questioning these sacred concepts
The weight of the world that makes war
And I mourn you but I don’t know what for
Is it just the pain serves to remind
There’s a place you have not left behind
And I break down on the floor
Coz the sound of the door
Shutting cracks my skin
And I try not to let it in
But the light is coming from the inside out
And it replaces all my doubt
With the ferver of another land
Would you understand
If I told you I just had to let it be
It’s like all of my soul’s been taken from me
When you breathed your last
Or when I discovered a thing of the past
No more what it is
And I call myself His
But it’s a running game
And it’s all the same
No way to stem the flow
Of what you cannot let go
I wipe the tears from my face
Just in case
Anyone sees me in that place
But you’re in my heart
And the mark
That was made
Is the same scar that scabbed over what’s saved
Did it come to me too early to appreciate
Fourteen years old in another state
Where time and space don’t exist
But in the present I just subsist
On the bread of another longing
And the people are thronging
Round the gates of hell
Begging to be let in, as well
And I cannot follow
The tree into the hollow
Of what you came to show
I love you forever, I hope you know

The Cult Of Country

Is your country just a concept
Something you play with
Have you grown up
Or are you still being a d***
Coz I cannot stand in silence
As the pillars burn
Wait for someone else
To steady the axis turn
And storms are breaking out
Like they said they would
I read between the lines
Of a Book that is Good
But you seek to condemn
What is merely knowing
I look out the window
It’s April and it’s snowing
As the ice melts
And the Gulf Stream redirects
I listen to Greta
And I wonder what’s next
In this reverberate
That is slowly brewing
The people in charge
Don’t know what they’re doing
Or maybe they do
(In that case it’s worse)
You order a Starbucks
But I sense a hearse
Somewhere on the horizon
For the human race
There’s no telling the atrocities
That maybe we will face
If something doesn’t change
On the political scene
I woke up from my nightmare
And it was just a dream

Singing In My Summer Clothes

Singing in my summer clothes
Have one on me, one for the road
And it’s long but it leads back to You
The only path, the one that is true
And I fight with the storm in my veins
Countenance curious pains
That attempt to distract
From the fact I want him back
But he’s sold to some other source
And I have no remorse
About speaking my mind
I didn’t leave you behind
Just on hold
To be brave and to be bold
Enough to truly say
I didn’t want you to go away
But doubted my ability, okay
There’s nothing I can make stay
Coz it’s all built on sand that’s shifting
Tell me who I should be gifting
With a midnight purpose scene
I thought You and I was just a dream

All The Burning Embers

All of the burning embers
No one really remembers
Who you used to be
It’s like the fountain that you see
In the ocean that grows within
They’re obsessed with the notion of sin
And I’ve outgrown the domain
That only seems to inflict pain
On the monster that abides
The one your revolution hides
Beneath the snow of an avalanche
Were you released in the first tranche
Of saviours to keep the day
Working in its own way
And the sudden scar
Is a wildebeest to your open heart
The one you wear on your sleeve
Do you expect me to just believe
In the brand you sell
I’m in the jungle but I wish you well

The Trauma

Does the pain go by the name of trauma
And are we just flora and fauna
In the Garden Of Eden
What do you believe in
Coz I know you’re atheist
But it doesn’t erase the trust
I have in the Divine
And if I say I’m doing fine
It would be a lie
Coz people die
And I try to stem the flow
Of holding on to let go
It gets ripped from you
Out of the hands it once poured into
And you hit me like a smash and grab
And I know you’re not just a lad
Who’s down with the girls
I uttered; “you are my world”
And you balked
I almost wish we never talked
Coz it landed me in hell
In an all-but-name kind of cell
Where they were super nice to me
But tried to change me by degree
By offering medication
So I might change the station
But I am the screen
The pictures that move are the dream
But I can convince no one
So I just let the drum
Beat me til I’m nothing new
But I can’t claim it was for you
Coz I let go the true
In a sunset kind of hue
That wakes to pay it’s due
I faked the sleeping thunder blue

The Loss Of You

Writing a poem for you
Because God wanted me to
And it happened when I was eleven
Memories of you when I was seven
And I woke in the night with a rhyme in my head
I sat in the bathroom and instead
Of writing it down
I let the ocean drown
Me with waves of grief
And every day it’s beyond belief
Because there’s no going back
And you only know it when you lack
A grandfather you love
And their promises of above
Don’t stem the catapulting might
Of waking in the night
With a poem at your pen
If I could go back again
I would pay tribute to you
With love instead of falling into
A mire that knows no end
Did I really lose a friend
And I stay around Kilglass
Coz the memory last
And your house is just across the road
The years sped up but time slowed
Down enough to let me look back
And I found someone who goes by the name of Jack
And he stills the storm in my bones
Holds my hand through the all alones
That stifle my voice
I don’t scream by choice
Just the horror of losing you
Like I’ve become the void I stare into
As if I could find you in my grief
That the pain is a measure of the leaf
I take out of your book
Does the past take a second look
Into the vast of the sky
The Kingdom of Heaven that will never die

A Dream In Consciousness

Is life just a dream in consciousness 
That we are all having together
Some focal points
That personalize the weather
And we trudge and we scorn
But we don’t realise why we were born
As we find our way up the hill
But there’s clarity when things get still
And I lived a summer when someone die
I was so sad I couldn’t cry
Like a sky
Being too cold to snow
I loved him so I let him go
But I found something else
In the depths of myself
That made everything clear
And I held him dear
But I couldn’t keep him
I woke from my sleep and
I thought it was all made up
For a moment but it was not enough
To quiet my shaking hand
As realisation made me understand
That the man under the sea
Behind the boat that he
Tried to rescue was simply
A way of dealing with what I couldn’t control
It was so vast the waves didn’t roll
But made an empty silent sound
I’m lost for someone I want around
And she backed away from me
I let her go coz I want to be free
And she don’t understand
I ignore her fatigue and her underhand
That strikes out
She is full of doubt
But that don’t make more solid stone
And we are both alone
Coz we can’t trust
The moment when the balloon went bust
And splattered the paint
My mind couldn’t handle it so I faint
On the floor in front of Room One
No one knows the Sun
That shone
For a moment it was gone
Then it reappear
And a friend I hold so dear
Told me I should get it checked out
But I just want to shout
It from the rooftop
That there is no bad cop
To fear
The Lord is ever near
And catches everyone like a net
It happened to me, now I can’t forget
All that has come to pass
The time goes by but this last
Through the seasons of change
And the acting strange
And the loss is not what I thought I knew
I am always with you

Misunderstandings And Monosyllabic Replies

Psychosis walks in my door
Tells me that it wanted more
Than just to be locked in a cage
So I find some paper and let it rage
”It was never supposed to be like that”
“I said I love you but I take it back
Coz you just rained holy hell
And all these people say I’m not well”
“Well, what do you expect me to do”
“I expect you to care, why don’t you”
All these conversations with a man in my mind
Is it telepathy or being left behind
By my sanity
I utter a profanity
That evinces how I feel
I told the nurse it wasn’t real
So she handed me a pill
Set up a hill
That I have to climb to get out of here
But don’t you see, my dear
I am actually good
And the wood
Is only a forest of trees
For one who believes
And I’m letting on more than I know
If you love me let me go
As I fall onto a mattress of home
I never walk alone
Coz the King is always here
And He makes the scene crystal clear

New Dawn

I spilt all of the blood on the floor
For the sake of what I couldn’t adore
And he blames me for his strife
All because I wouldn’t be his wife
And he’s got dues and he’s got paid
But I wonder does he ever raid
The inside of a closet dark
It’s not Narnia walking through this park
As I stand tall against the wind
And the people say I’ve sinned
Because I wouldn’t bow to the extreme
Don’t they know that life’s a dream
I try to hold it in
But the word begin
To speak its own message true
It doesn’t stop because of you
And I sat shivering on the chair
Til I realized the cold don’t get in there
Unless I let it in
And I’m just dancing with Him
In this grand swathe we call the earth
Love isn’t born to hurt
No matter what they teach you in school
About the heat and being cool
Coz the sun just shot me through the heart
With a cherub’s aim and holy dart
And I fell to the floor
With the shock of something more
That just found me in the room
It characterizes the sense of doom
With a laugh and a smile
You don’t have to walk the green mile

The Ominous Cloud

The ominous cloud
Hangs over your wall
She says that it’s better
Coz it makes you tall
To want to see over
The match that she’s made
But all this cement
Just puts me in the shade
As she cries and wails
And moans and tears
How could I have put up
With this for years
As she tries to convince
To follow her way
But I’m not down to serve
What you think that you say
And you hit hard and hit soft
It depends on the weather
Throw a knife in my back
So you can know it better
And it’s nothing but forests
This calamitous rain
It seems she takes refuge
In the hallways of pain
And she claims that she loves me
She swears she does
But she gets out her gun
To shoot my white doves
And I forgive
But I move away
I won’t be bowed low
By the things that you say
By the attitude you wear
Like a camisole top
I gave you my heart
But my soul you have not

Your Supernova

You supernova 
And I’ll pull ova
In my car
Pick you up at the bar
Coz you don’t drive
Are you still alive
Coz I never know
People are there
And then they go
And is it just my belief
That death could be blessed relief
Or some kind of saintly air
All I know is Heaven is there
When you break the sun like a smile
And I’m wondering all the while
“Will this thing end?”
But I’m your friend
In a come what may
I won’t give up on what you say
When you say it to me
I kiss the bird and I set him free

Dropping The Bass

One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun

The Slow Wither

The slow wither
Like a flower losing its leaves
And I can’t comprehend
How anyone believes
In a God of good things
In a loaded gun
Everything in creation
Screams that it is One
And I’m not exactly Buddhist
And Christian loses lustre
I’m mad busy at work
Trying not to get in a fluster
And then the peace comes
In a moment of prayer
I kneel before the altar
And I hear that I Am There
And I’m glad I keep something of you
Coz the body it is taken
And I can only hope that Heaven
Is there when you waken
Into your new life
At the foot of the hill
There’s a lot I have let go
But somethings I never will
Like your kindness and your smile
And the way you’re always there
I never doubted for a moment
That you truly care
And all I have left
Or so it seems
Is what I collected
Hiding in moonbeams
But your presence comes to state
That simply isn’t so
You only come to wisdom
In the instant you let go
And you can’t fake the fire
You barely contain
But just because you’re angry
Don’t mean you should fight the rain
As I lean into your essence
That has always felt like home
I’m sitting in solitude
But I’m not alone
Coz you’re everywhere around me
In the midnight and the dawn
Don’t have to wait for death
Because you are not gone
And seeing you again
Is just to see you now
The walls have fallen down
And it’s because of you somehow

The Elucidate

Trying to elucidate 
The thing I used to call my fate
And I’ve got a lot on my plate
As they silence the confusion
But watch what you’re calling a delusion
Coz you don’t know what you say
They don’t understand so they put me away
And I fought and I raged against the machine
But would you make war with a dream
Or just see the sunset over the glen
And if I fight it’ll just happen again
One where the man breathes down my neck
And search for a ship he can wreck
And will I just be mad til my dying day
Or will the pain just go away
If I stand up and believe
She rolled up tissues under my sleeve
So I’d have something if I got stuffy nosed
The camera was paused so I posed
But I just look like him
So I took it again

Can psychosis be precocious 
Or is it just kundalini
Is it love or does it just demean me
Like the woman said on the tv
I’m four years old and I cut my knee
I still have the scar
At 64 will that be what you are
Just another favor of my youth
Oh, time can be such a brute
It offers you the sky
But with a catch, you die
In the end or before your time
I’m hesitant so I rhyme
To make sense of things
Meaning out of broken wings
And I was in a tight enclosure
Thought I’d die from exposure
To the sun
Coz there’s this light shining from everyone
And the man passed my bed
I thought I’d pass out instead
Coz I was just riding the vibe
Living (coz I am alive)
And he thought it was the bathroom glare
There were no locks in there
And they would bang on the door
And say; “just doing the check”
And I’m just some ship you wreck
With your foreign shore
Why the hell do I want more
Instead of less
It’s like some sort of undress
When my soul is bare
And you found the thread that started the tear
I got in your head and wound up in there
Where they parcel the joy
But I exchange it for a boy
I just found by the side of the road
I said to leave down the load
Even just for a moment, in my presence
And I could feel his essence
Start to fly
I hope I don’t die
Before I see him again
And I break my rule on men

Meaning And Loss

Do me a favor
And cut all the bull
I’ve got skin as thin as cotton wool
But I see through you
Oh, what are you gonna do
Just call me out
Coz with every word that spills from your mouth
You’re writing your own death cert in the ether
And you didn’t mind so I guess I don’t either
And you called me a bitch
So I text your wife and be a snitch
You call me a traitor
But I know you hate her
By the way you stare
With emptiness instead of care
And what’s it to me, you say
Well what’s it to you anyway
And we’re just fighting like two bickering strangers
What about the land of the free and foreign invaders
On the political scene
Our opposite poles hold up the dream
Of life and choice
What unites the sides is lack of a voice
So I just surrender
And you remember
All we were before the rule broke
Like a gunshot and a finishing line rope
Who’s first past the post
And what’s left if both of us ghost
The place we knew
If a tree falls in silence who hears it, do you?

Marriage With Kids

They say it’s the way to go 
At thirty two
Quick, find someone to love you
Coz you gotta reproduce
And I deduce
My time is getting thin
And anyone could be him
But I’m just not down with these money days
I’m a hero in so many ways
But I’m not paying out on your cash
I gotta run, I gotta dash
And I leave him with a kiss on his cheek
Don’t smile at me or I’ll get weak
From want of breath in my chest
You rang the bell and know the rest
But I ain’t buying in
Even if I am in love with him

When We Are Together

I looked up, you caught my eye
And I thought; oh man what a guy
And I swear this love will never die
Not even if you try
To fit it into a little box
But I’m a magician and I undid all the locks
So that you might be free
But then you just ghosted me
And I look at my phone
It rings but I’m still alone
As I beg you to listen
And the diamonds glisten
On your rock hard skin
Why did you let me in
Just to put me out
And all of your self doubt
Drives a wedge between us both
I search the room for my coat
Coz I gotta leave
And would you believe
Me if I told you the truth
Pilgrimages to our wild youth
As we sing our hearts onto the screen
Was it all just a dream
All those 5 a.m. morning shows
I’m with you and anything goes
And I’m not sure but I think that he knows
And he’s lost people too
I act like I’m the Boss around you
Coz we were both born to run
And you stole the sun
From my sky
When you let the flower die
Not from want of soil
But from the emotions that embroil
And you rely on attention
But there are things I dare not mention
For want of words
I told you but I don’t think you heard


I found diamonds amongst the rubies
And did you ever go to Gubies
I know it’s not your scene
It’s just you were my dream
Now you’re with some other chick
And I’m at home just thinking a candle wick
And, man,it burns
But the axis just turns
Like some mad spinning ball
Is that what unites us all
As I’m growing flowers in the wherewithal
And you’ve gone door to door
You knocked on mine and what’s more
The ocean lets it’s own way on
But you look back and the sandcastle’s gone
What did we spend so long
For, what went wrong
When I spoke to you on the phone
How do I get you alone
And if I did
Could I steal what’s his
And have it for my own
You say we’re grown
But you act like a child
And I’m half wild
With flowers in my hair
I didn’t realise you were there
When you said; “em, ‘scuse me”
But you just wanna use me
To fulfill your projection
And the rejection
Has us both reeling
What were you really feeling
Please don’t lay down the law
Ice like that will never thaw

Making The Words Mine

I’m at a loss as to what to do
I’m staring at the ocean when I’m staring at you
And it’s staring back
What do I lack
When you endlessly unfold
And pave the path of solid gold
Back to the core
And I just want you more
Than I’ve ever wanted anything
You taught me how to sing
My own tune
And the ground quakes when you’re in the room
I wake up with shakes of equivalent doom
That haunts me at night
Oh, what is my plight
That I’m ever effervescent in the forest of time
To make a promise that makes the words mine

The Morning That Doesn’t Come

(Trigger Warning - grief)

Do I have to always love you screaming in the rain
And do I equate death with pain
Coz he took you far too soon
Now I’m just crying in my room
Slamming my head against the wall
And no one knows at all
But it doesn’t bring you back
Just prepares me for another attack
Of grieving waves of trauma
And it’s been so long, you
We’re taken in my early teens
Before the cross and the man of my dreams
And I try to stand up and measure the line
But I keep remember thinking you were fine
And if I just prayed
You could’ve stayed
But it’s midnight and you’re both by my side
Why is this side of me something I hide
Coz I feel so much peace in a church
It kind of stills the way I hurt
And I light a candle for you
Almost as if you asked me to
And I sat by your side in your wheelchair at Knock
And you were always steady as a rock
You never faltered, you just bore it all
And I stood in the waterfall
So we both were there
And so you might know I care
But the whisper cracks my voice
And it’s no one’s choice
And it seems unfair
But can I be grateful for what you were spared
And somewhere in oblivion we will touch again
I’ll call your name like love will never end
And you’ll wrap me in your arms so tight
And tell me that everything’s alright
And soothe that storm I own
I call your name like you’re my

The Disease Of Dissatisfaction

Photo by Ian Turnell on
You sit in silence, you hear the sound
Of doom now that it’s all around
And I swear I’m a first class citizen
So don’t pity them 
Those who ask to see you cry
Because they know everyone die
And they’re trying to put off the date
But why let it lie in wait
I stood up in my two boots
And issued a challenge to my roots
And I grow into a tree
Stuck in the same spot, you see 
And the vibration gives off waves
Are you the hero who always saves
Like Superman but in his Smallville years
Don’t think I didn’t see the tears
You cried in secret
I made a promise and I keep it 
Every day, I said I won’t forget
And you challenge me but I haven’t yet
I was hiding in the bush
When I said there was no rush
And you were in the long grass
When you worked up the nerve to ask
Me out on a date
You call it logistics, I call it fate
Coz what was held between us both
That evening on the coast
Of the shore that we both know
I love him so I let it flow

Crying About It

I can see it in forever’s eyes
That this world is just a disguise
Cloaked in the world of form
An eternal source of life that will burn
Until the sun turns black hole dark
And the evisceration knows nothing about this love lark
Til we all resolve into something true
I once called this mystery you
But it’s in everything
And the winter sing
Of summer, spring and autumn too
Everything is golden with you
And red as a ruby with him
I think I’m gonna let ‘em in
And unfold the monumental desire
Should I just let that fire
Consume all that’s in its path
And you know there’s no turning back
From what you set out to do
I drop the vase and shatter the glass of you

In Separate Spheres

The fire’s alight with every fuse that it burns 
And I just fall in love as the sun burns
On the axis of you
What the hell am I supposed to do
With all these feelings I’ve got
That I think time forgot
In the aching I feel
And was that time real
When we hopped a scotch
And I pulled into your parking lot
To pick you up
They say a hand to a glove
Is all that you need
But you made me bleed
On January 21st
I didn’t let on when it hurt
And you took up with her
I just watched without a word
And let on I didn’t care
You ran a hand through your hair
But I was there
And I still am
Guess that wasn’t part of your plan
To keep your guard dog lover throughout the years
I’d silence waves like I do your fears
Kiss you on the crest
And find the man that knows me best


That single syllable that’s uttered inside
Does it go away when a person has died
That resounding Om
Does it disappear or does it just go home
And the gong, it rings
The spirit sings
And we are entrapped in everythings
Like diamonds, jewels, bands of gold
What you buy and what isn’t sold
I left the mountain I hold so dear
I abandoned a friend and it’s crystal clear
That I did her wrong
And her song
Sings to me in the darkest night
Lord, I hope she is alright
Because she had to fight fire and bone
Stand up straight when she was all alone
And she’s always been something like home
Though I no longer stare at my phone
Hoping something will come through
And that I might hear from you
Like the days of yore
And what we all were before
The crystal glass cracked and shattered
Like a cod we’re a little bit battered
And I don’t pretend to entertain
What you lived out in vain
But the rain
Falls on all of us
And trust
Is not something you can break
When it is constant and for my sake
The glistening
Of a bird on the wing
As it shoots through the sky
Suspended between what will and will not die
Will always rise
And the horizon
Will always shine
It is minute but it is mine

Trauma And Its Evidence

Do I break the lid on categorical pain
That seems to be as seasonal as rain
And some people walk through a waterfall
But they don’t seem to get wet at all
And I climbed up mountains and I ran down valleys
Befriended enemies and demonized allies
But it never got me away
From what I quintessentially say
And as a baby I cried a lot
But what was it that time forgot
My first day of school
Or when that girl broke the golden rule
Watched my reflection in another’s eyes
Or felt the pain when somebody dies
Like my skin is being ripped from my bones
Or the silence when I’m all alone
Feels so much like peace
When the noise cease
And you can’t erase the childhood you own
The good, the bad, before the iPhone
That we didn’t post
Or the narcissism when that person ghost
Me over something I didn’t say
So I let her walk away
Took it out on a guy
Who was the answer and the reason why
The stars shone like diamonds in his eyes
He suddenly lit up the night skies
And the river runs deep and true
I forgot about loss the moment that you
Held my hand, they were all asleep
And is it just like a trinket I keep
Like so many others
And the cloud smothers
Me with its love
Though I still look above
For a being I can’t find
I didn’t really go out of my mind
I just had to get away
And what people say
Claws at me
But the thaw reaches deep and sets me free
From the aching of time
A moment, nothing, and then It was mine

Forever Shenanigans

Forever shenanigans
Last longer than war
And when you're wondering what it's all for 
Look to your right and I'll be there
She thinks I don't care
But it's not that 
I just like him back
In a way I can't explain
It's like the falling rain
Doesn't give a reason why
And I'm terrified because I know that I 
Must suffer everyone to die
Til the day that I pass
And I'm not sure that even that last 
Coz, you know, reincarnation
Or heaven and hell and the tv station
Seems to reinforce that kind of show
And I can't let go 
Of all that passes like water through my hands
Like hourglass teaches the sands
To look like they fall
But you just turn the damn thing over and all
The story starts again
And you know that men
Look like they have it on lock
But when you look in their eyes they're not
All they appear to be
And I love that he's free
But, still, to me
He's the same old warrior I met
In a year I won't forget 
Coz it was almost past an hour
When I was overpowered
By the loss of a soulmate, friend
One moment you're fine
The next, the end
And you were at that show, in blue
And I spent time thinking of you
Til I was broken by the way of it all
At the lake, then a freefall
Into what I can't control
And I won't play the role
Of a faithful wife
Or a critic cynical about life 
I just gotta say
That it seems true that to go away
Is to come home
But I was never alone

Somewhere In The Multiverse

Is everyone trying to escape
That vast, empty space
And I hold her at a distance
Arms length, or resistance
Coz she can't know
How I let you go
And the awning abyss
Is the only man I kiss
In the winter of my life
When I'm trying to survive the strife
Under the cover building turf
Could you tell me which is worse
Indifference or indecision
And I know you were subject of derision
But I shared 
In every vessel that cared
How the ship would float
And that boat 
Still sails a sea
Somewhere in the multiverse with me

The Darkness Disease

Somehow it reached me
The darkness disease
And it has brought me to my knees
Coz I can't admit
Something I need help with
Does it mean I'm weak
That sometimes I can't speak
And the words rise up 
Like flurries of snow 
I didn't know
I'd have to let you go
In the end, eventually
And it's nothing like being free
Coz all I know is the space you left
And I am bereft 
Without the knowledge of your soul 
And the waves still roll
It's been years
And I'm more icicles than I am tears 
As I put distance, space
In between the names I trace
Coz they don't understand
And you were just a man
But you held it all 
Til that call
That shattered the glass
A change that is made to last
How do I survive
When you are not alive
And that door
Closes on my front
And I bear the brunt
Of something I can't contain
Do you let the rain
Or do you complain
That it's falling from the sky
All things born, die

The Terrifying Moment Of Us

Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on
The loss means taking a hit
You think it means nothing but I feel every bit
Of pain you inflict
And I can call you a dick
But it doesn’t change the feeling inside
All I do is hide
It from prying eyes
But there’s a time when the disguise
Is a weight to bear 
And I tie up my hair
Because it’s too long
And your song
Still rings in my ears
Throughout the years
Of uncried tears
And I’m just sitting in my car at the Mall
Thinking of the time you called me pal
And I can’t get back that day
And it’s in everything you Say
That we can’t hold ourselves back from the bridge
That holds us over the river 
Do I forgive her
For the darkness that she opened
Like a Pandora’s box
But something undid the locks
And I can credit her with something she did not
Know she was doing
And all these dreams I’m pursuing 
Are just ways I escape 
From Superman’s red cape
As it tries to cover me 
And tell me I’m free
But I’m sad and I’m weak
I remember days I couldn’t speak
For want of crying 
Why is everyone dying
Slowly, then all at once
Kinda like how you fall in love

Death And The End Of Things

Death and the end of things
Did it clip my broken wings
Coz I saw it in every facet
Of a diamond hue
And counted down the days
Until it would take you
And now I’m thirty three
One day it’ll take me 
Away from the world of form
The world into which 
I was born 
And it was midnight when I realised
That everything I loved died
On the street that day
And it’s not okay
To just say
That all things end
And love’s around the riverbend
Coz they never seem to care
About what isn’t there
Where it once was 
And I got angry just because
I couldn’t change it
Couldn’t change anything 
So I find the lungs to sing
The song you taught me all those years ago
And it doesn’t take snow
To preserve a body cold
What happens to us when we get old
Do we live in regret
Replacing what hasn’t happened yet 
Coz the time has piled
And all the miles 
We go from the place where we were
And nothing can replace her
Not as hard as it tried
The world is full of lies
But there is a truth that just fails
To catch the wind that set my sails
Upon a foreign sea
Are you still watching over me
Or is it just rueful fate
I love and It forgets the hate


The sun is shining
The leaves are green
And I thank you for
All that you have been
In the midnight stars
Or ocean blues
I see you in
Sunset hues
And when the dawn
Comes for the day
I thank you for
What's gone away
And what has risen
In its place
I'm home again
In open space

Steven On The Stillorgan Road

I think you are beautiful, I think you're a star
You really don't know how lovely you are
And I'd love to look at you and see you within
Your soul forms a shape and its constellating
And your eyes they are diamonds that shine from your core
I'd love to love you and then a little bit more
And your face draws my gaze but I don't want to stare
All I know is that I know you are there
And you don't fade away and you do not flinch
In the years that have passed you have not moved an inch
And we may be old and weary on the bone
But I know in your presence I am not alone
And I wish I could spend some time by your side
Kiss the ground that you walk because you walk alive
Shrink the violets to colour the room
Thank you for coming not a minute too soon

Photo Credit:


Saving orcas down by the pond
And you didn't know but I waited there til you were gone
And you'll never see
But I wanted to ask if you would marry me
With your poetic stare
You captivate people who aren't even there
And I missed the day you filmed with your latest band
And laughed out loud and said it'll be grand
Cause you've got that mysticism
Carving a river with the blades of a prism
And bending lines of truth like light through the water
I was afraid to be such a daughter
Because you are like no one else
And your hand magnetises atoms the molecules felt
As you hold me close
Not with arms but a holy ghost
And you be company
In the darkest night when guns ignite you sat next to me
In midnight blues
That turn into mornings that can't handle you
Cause you are so delicately fine
And I'm afraid I will crush in the vice of my love what I want to be mine
But you are not for the taking
You've got your own soul mixed with the rock and roll of the path you are making
You beat your own track
And I fear I will never cross your piercing endeavour on my way back
Now you've got a success life
And I'm just a drifter who wonders if you missed her cause you said I was nice
I guess I never felt enough
To fill the chasm or the hole in the depths of your soul with a glass bottle love
You are magic beams
When I wonder if this earth is all that I'm worth you speak to my dreams
I wish I was like you
So fearlessly true
And unafraid
Yes I confess, you marked the spot
Where the Last Airbender won't fail to remember what you thought she forgot
I hold a star for you
And I plot the chart of my constellation heart every night that comes through
Stay forestry amid the plain
I cracked the stone and I let the rain

Double Doors

Siena’s tried cocaine
I tried to numb the pain
With all the alcohol
But I’m just throwing bricks at the wall
Hoping that they stick
Don’t be a dick
About it
Wasn’t I right to doubt it
Now I see you in her arms
And none of your charms
Can weasel your way back to me
Just take that jack to the wheel and see
I’m not for the changing
And all the flowers fading
Don’t mean that summer’s gone
Another year and this song
Will be played
What you say
Don’t mean a thing
And another ring
To hold my finger tethered to your soul
And the waves don’t crash to your rock and roll
You see that door
It opens from the inside out
And my mouth
Is not somewhere you find yourself
I am no Christmas elf
To deliver parcels to your tree
I just want you to be free with me
And let it go
I followed you just so you know

Decay And New Birth

Like everything in life
This body is subject to decay
Why do I ask 
Why I don't look the same way
I did at twenty two 
"It looks like the years have been hard on you"
And that's right, it's true
I was locked in a type of prison
Though I still shone through the prism 
Of perfect sunlight through the screen
That separated me from the dream 
I was intent on surviving 
Who do you think the powers are bribing 
To stay in that firm state 
That moves when the ground quake 
Can we make the earth a safe place to be born
Like shedding a skin we were made to unlearn
I swear our union is true
And it pours light from me and you
And from her
I don't hate what you were
I wish you the best
As if life was some kind of test
And I've got a roving eye
Picture myself with people before I die
Don't want a steady state 
Of 2.5 and a dinner plate
Though I love
All of the above
It's just the frame
Is not for my second name 
For now, anyway
I hope you understand what I say
Is no rebuttal of what you are
You are magnitude a star
And you are the king and queen 
Of your own patch of ground to dream 
I just wish you'd know
And understand why I let you go 
That it was no wont of desire
It was just you set my veins on fire
And I couldn't trust
This newfound birth of some kind of lust
That pulled my skin
Whenever I moved with him 
Into a room
Then the sound of doom
Drowned you out 
Do you think we could move beyond our self doubt
Into a place serene 
I'll kiss you on that second moonbeam

At The Altar

I know you have a litany of crimes
I don't need to hear about all the times
You failed to live up to 
What you think life has asked of you
I know the unconditional foundation
At the base of you
And I trust so do you
As we meet palm to palm
In this unearthly calm
It doesn't matter what we are
To each other from the star
We spin around
On what we call solid ground
You can be a friend or mate
Or take it to another state
The cord that ties binds us by the soul
And I shouldn't say you make me whole
But, darling, it really feels like that 
And you wouldn't take me back
And that's fair enough
But it doesn't end my love
It just puts a reservation
On the end of your appelation
As we find ways to grow and meld
There's a fusion no iron can weld
As we grow out of the old iteration
Meet you at the inner bus station!

The Rain And The Grass

I think I've found the princess and the pea
And the thing that was troubling me 
Coz it started that summer after we met
Something about time and what we cannot forget 
And it was just a day
But it changed everything anyway
And you were a little emo cool
I was a little high achiever in school
And we both wrote our own stories
It doesn't help that yours always floors me
With your honesty and straight talk
If I knew you better I would've said you'd walk 
But as it was we sat side by side
And I felt I knew what was inside
You from the way you stared at my frame
And I barely know your name
But it's been embedded in my mind since
As if you are the perfect prince
To cut through the brambles and briars
To wake the one who sleeps through fires
And I know I should not utter the truth
Lest I find myself in league with a brute
Who evinces all that there is to be
When I discovered you with me 
It was as though a holy sun burned 
It was as though the axis turned
Just for the sake of gravity
And it's the magnetism that pulls you to me 
In the era of high agenda
You don't have to defend that 
Same old little pocket of pain
Because I will only assuage the rain
That kisses the ground and grows the grass
And the trouble is not born to last
But to come and go
So that we both might know
What peace will entertain
You are a beautiful refrain
As we grow the earth
Up out of it's time of hurt
Into the knowledge of the sun
And that we all are one

Twin Flame Dreams

I meet you in my darkest hours
When I've been given over to unconscious powers
To remake the day
You touch my hand anyway
And say
That everything will be okay
And you're mystical, blue and something serene
I seem to only meet you in my dreams
Where your warm presence touches my soul 
And you crash like the tide on the shore that I roll
And we are as one beyond what I can contain
If you were a cloud you would fall to me as rain
But you're not a nebulous feat of the sky
You are a love that will never die
And I met you so long ago
But I knew you before that, you know
And we've had our rows and our differences change
I'm too much the same and you're overly strange
But somehow we meet in the middle of our love story plot
Breaking the shell of all that we're not
Into an omelette of fate's desire
You set my heart on fire
And it burns away all the cracks
I'm broken but I would not take it back
Coz that's how the light gets through
And I see it shining in you
As you magnify the circumspect
Is there a moment to reject
What we've known thus far
How could I ever know what you are?  

The Role Of Men

He got a dial on the rotary blade
And he claimed he knew how to save
But he sent me to some kind of hell
Then forbade me to ever tell
The story of how our love was made
He put the darkness into the shade
Of the sun that just shines on me
Or from within the holy sea
In the forests he was found
And I can't bear to hear the sound
Of what forever whispered that night
He asked me if I was alright
So I proceeded to spill the secret soul
Then he panicked and the whole
Was exiled to the far reaches of the kingdom
So far away he won't even sing them 
As a lullaby to his pain
The clouds were too apt to rain
Upon the land 
That used to be sand
To hold my feet
As they walked to the place where we meet
In between the intersection
Of my silence and his rejection
Of all that could ever be
What is the meaning of the word free 

Pissed Off

I'm just mad coz you forced me off the land
With your masculine misunderstand
And I guess I'm emotional and female
But that don't mean I should go to jail
For a century or two 
Just because I frighten you 
With all you can't contain
It was love, it wasn't pain
And the winter was long but the snow
Can't stop the way the spring will grow
New green into all of the leaves
And it's not just about what you believe
And I throw shards of glass into the past
Memories of what didn't last
And your words are like daggers that cut my skin
How does he know how to hurt within
With his flagrant disrespect for all I offer
I know it's just the way you suffer
But I can't play small anymore
Or cover over what you adore
And don't want to love
It was given me from above
And you're just gonna have to get used to it
Being front and centre and your wit
Can't tear me down no more
Find another ship to sail to the shore! 

The Monument

Fighting the monument to the era gone by
I dunno, I just had to try
But throwing stones at the wall
Is not the way to get over it all
And they had me medicated to the hilt
I couldn't stop crying til the flower wilt
And the flow of the years pass through
As I stare through the window at you
Hoping you might turn your head
But I better watch my mouth or I'll end up dead
Coz there's traps for every sound
And they're scattered all around
In the avenues that people walk 
And the professionals are all talk
Coz it's a road less traveled by
And it's a witch hunt if you claim to fly
When you are an earth bound creature
But I thought this deserved a feature 
In the newspaper of us
It's crumpled like our broken trust

Nothing But The Best

The song twisted in my guts
And there were times I went nuts
Trying not to love the people that I do
All because I want to be loyal to you
But Darragh’s eyes shine like the sun
And he may not be the one
But I sure would walk the road with him
The hardest part is to begin
As we both verge on what almost was
I let him go because
I can’t say matrimony
But I would be being phony
To say it didn’t hit me deep
That night I cried myself to sleep
As I left him at my door
I might not see him anymore
And we’re connected on a Facebook screen
But is this life a lucid dream
That I’m just waking up to
Why did I hold out for you
And let what I had slip by
I didn’t run but I had to try
To steady the ship
And I’m close to his lips
Being something I could meet
Now I’m walking the streets
Searching for what I lost
Did he really pay the cost
For my indecision
The teenage and the derision
We were all party to
On the bus (can we sue?)

Leads Nowhere

A poll
On the intro to my biography
Will I be looking back on this
In another year hence
Another ten
Coz I can’t give up
On this holy love
That has me string a sentence together
Even if it’s just about the weather
And how a rainy grey sky
Is similar to the feeling I die
Into on a daily basis
Did he try to erase us
Or was it just a crack that trip
A good man into it
As it pulls me like a climber’s harness
And I feel the tension that the carcass
Of who we used to be exerts
The sight of you still hurts
Coz you’re everything I want to own
And all that I wish I’d never known
But what kind of prayer is that
For something that you would take back
Can’t I be grateful for you
And the cavern I was pulled into
By the magnet strength of love
Something gifted from above
That sends the tension reeling
Do you even know what you’re feeling
To spitfire down the line
But you come back each and every time
To take tea with my debate
I tell you take it up with fate

I Dunno What To Think

I saw him running to me
And I can’t believe what I see
Coz it’s the picture perfect ending
And there’ll be no unfriending
To contemplate
Not with us in that state
But he threw a spanner in the works
And, my God, it hurts
So I cut him off on New Year’s Eve
But I was drying the tears I was crying on my sleeve
Getting locked on alcohol and in the bathroom
It was before the age of doom
And that was ten years ago
Then less is more but now I know
You’ve got your own spiral going on
And somehow our aching went wrong
In the midnights we spent in change we don’t have
Does your girlfriend ever feel bad
That she had to share your time with me
But the vine we swing is eternity
And I won’t put it off til another day
I’m here to say what I’m gonna say
Coz somewhere on his twitter
(I swear I’m not bitter)
He said hi to her
So I built the foundation of what we were
On the cracks in her facade
It wouldn’t be love if it didn’t feel bad
And the song rhymes
With his call me by last name, baby
As she asks Romeo to save me
So I trip the fantastic time
And hit him with another line
That he can keep in his soul
I’ve got the receipts, that’s how I roll
And I may be sleuth coz I’ve investigated
The things he innocently stated
Thinking six people would hear ya
Now I’ve got an audience and my dear, ya
Might be known to more than a few
But don’t worry I just wanna honour you
With words I pick up from the sand
And cherish the feeling of holding your hand
For the thousandth time
Is researching you an internet crime?
Or is it okay
That I catch everything that you say
In this net of mine
I pray that your time
Is beauty and truth
You are the hero of my youth

The World You Want To See

I keep trying
To make ends break even
But then I get caught
Daydreaming about Stephen
And it’s a sweet lullaby
But I cannot try
To do what they say
A locked box
And Power says it’s okay
When I’m dying just to get out
But I face faces of solid stone
And doubt
In who I claim to be
Why did everything desert me
In the forest of ill repute
And I hate when they call me cute
It’s not accurate
And there has been a spate
Of killings in the vicinity
Of will you or will you not know me
When I abandon the sea
And set my stead on rock that knows me
So well, it’s a foundation
And I used to be all elation
With the joy of a new birth
Til I tried to rewrite the hurt
Into stars of my own making
But hunger’s in every breath you’re taking
To draw in more air
If you didn’t doubt would it be there?

State Sponsored Violence

There has to be an end 
To state sponsored violence
Coz we’ve got terrorists
Speaking from the silence
So that it’s one for the other
Kill a man, though you’re his brother
And I’m not naming names
I’m just pointing out
That we can’t keep singing
The song of doubt
Coz what does it achieve
To lie to ourselves
Sending the world
Into a slow kind of hell
Where it revolves
Around the sun
Screaming, screaming
I am the one
But if you’re one with what is
Then how can you take what’s his
And turn upside down what once was even
Which side you’re on is who you’re believing
And it’s been going on
Since people had clubs
See how the mother lion
Minds her cubs
And protects what she has
But what are you walking as
And are we destined to decay
Fight to be the last to stay
When all we do is hurt our home
Does the parapet stand alone
Or is it a furore
Do you want less or do you want more
Coz we can make heaven here
Life I love to be so dear

The Pain Of Mankind

The guy cheats on his girl
With a woman he’s made his world
And I see the flicker in his eyes
That is the tell in his disguise
As she tries to put distance between
Me, her, him and the dream
And it’s not like I own the dude
But do I intrude
To ask my boo
If he’s been making love to you
Behind my back
He sees the threat and he attack
Me for all my voice can tell
And it reaches out to you as well
And it’s like the storm knows what is
And you were never his
Just like he was never mine
Just a way I did time

Like, Now

My twenties were a shitstorm
It was like the fire was reborn
And conspired to burn my toes
With the power of anything goes
And the rain is pounding on my roof
How is the dude so aloof
Does he not care at all
It’s like I’m talking to the wall
He has painted with his spray
And I keep saying I’m okay
As he hits me with all he has
Like he gets high on feeling bad
And I pretend it doesn’t matter
But if you live by the coast the waves will batter
You with all their might
If you love the sun can you accept the light