The speaker of the zeitgeist
Of a feminine who isn’t nice
Who roars and rages against walls
Built against the freefalls
That happens when love is true
And I just fell into you
Before we did barricade
Our heartfulness into the shade
Because it was more than there
And we couldn’t cope with care
That had hurt us long before
By lies that we adore
Fallen from the mouths of thieves
Innocence just believes
And trusts what she says will be
I think you really do love me
Not hiding in the architect
Of designs to deflect
But cowering, a little boy
Who longs to play the toy
That was taken long before
Because it should be more
Rather than less of the same
Something I never do is blame
But take the space to be real
And figure out how I feel
And touch the edge of Superman
Just to know that I can

The repressed female sexuality
Could have been the death of me
As it fought to get out
I closed my heart and mouth
And inside it howled
Like a feral beast it growled
And tore down walls built
By the animals they killed
In sacrificial victims to hunger war
I still don’t know what for
I can’t blame men coz I
Did it almost to the point of die
Til finally I let loose the rope
Because the power couldn’t cope
Held within the artifice
Love doesn’t have to be nice

Horsekick females knock me down
And even though I love the sound
Of their voices in the ash
I hope they never come back
Because they strike and they strike hard
Then kill me with a bottled shard
So I build up a girl squad
To keep me from that kind of fraud
So I can hide behind the lines
Of the people who have shines
But living that way makes me lose
There is something I must choose
An all or nothing by degrees
Living life not on my knees
The power to raise my voice
And stand my own feet by choice
To defend the innocent
In my own heaven sent
In my heart and in my mind
In all that they left behind
Because horsekick females get you going
But their power isn’t slowing
Only rising to a dark peak
When the Lord doesn’t speak
And in the fire and in the fury
I know that this will not cure me
To make war with the self
That burns you as someone else
So forest fire come for me
But the ocean is set free
And drowning in sweet repose
Is a path I never chose

I was always a poet of misery
Somehow pain brings out the best in me
Somehow all the avalanches I fell
Give me a story to tell
And spin the wire into thread
Of gold instead of dread
Instead of forests made of trees
And wasps living with honey bees
I imagine that my might
Comes from the fire I ignite
But the point is this my friend
Something had to end
And that was the innocent painless child
That got thrown into the wild
By the feral dogs who hunt
The girl because she is a runt
The small because she is little
The flower because a skittle
Can be crunched between teeth
And stood on underneath
But within my hunkered prose
There was something else I chose
Not to be buried but consume
The darkness I ate inside my room
Sitting there for houred long
On my own I got strong
But I got weak before I did
I left myself to be his
And in doing so forsyth
I am my own Kryptonite
I am my own fever
I can’t say that you didn’t leave her
Only that you never had
A girl because you feel bad
You had one because your dues
Plays me like baby blues

I’m a gypsy but a serious one
I am looking to be undone
Not remain striding high
On the horse that I die
Always so far above
Coz I’m looking for your love
And everyone else is so beneath
I look and fall at your feet
But you did not even notice
I run away but am outvoted
By the superfluity in your stare
Its as though I’m not there
But the crucial point is this
That if I did not exist
For you then what you missed
Is just the girl you should’ve kissed

The interest is there but the fear is too
What is the meaning of me and you
What is the reason for you and I
Why do I love you until I die
And I ask and ask to no answers receive
But there is something that I still believe
Whether it is fool or whether it is folly
I am looking for more than sucking a lolly
Because it is sweet, because it is good
I’m looking for love because I should
Because its something to make my soul
Spin in its circle around the hole
At the centre of my being, at the very heart
That is why you and I could not start
Cause I wanted Truth and You wanted Love
Now we have switched, I’m below, you’re above

When you come close I run away
I know you just want to play
And express the feelings deeper down
But I give you the runaround
And the because is this
Hiding in your love kiss
Is the realisation that I
And you both will die
Someday, somewhere far from here
Where will I be then my dear
And will I be with you
Will it be a two by two
Because something I know inside
Is there is an eternal life
But you atheist deny
And so I start to cry
Because we standing poles apart
Connected only by the heart
Are divided in the soul
What happens when we make whole
To break apart once more again
As merely lovers and friend
Or something more essentially
Will you stay always with me
In the dark and in the light
Will you be with me tonight
But more than just on this shore
Are we who we were before
We met and then split in two
Can I just be with you?
But in more than the mind
When you die into the behind
Can I come with you there
Or must we part our solemn stare
In the ultimate of a death
I’m not ready to love you yet
Until I know, until I’m sure
But can you live with me anyway, demure
And just be my solemn friend
I kiss the dark that I defend
And love the light that I portray
Can you go away, but please stay?

Over the love of you, and I stalk
Because when we talk and you don’t know
The sound is sweet
And the Angels meet
In the ether
You didn’t deceive her
Or the other way round
It was ourselves alone we gave the runaround
And now I
And you die
Into the beauty we were born for
It is you that I adore
Not Love or Immortality
But you alone
With or without a home
I just lack words to express
You don’t need to address
My body to have my soul
I’m like the ice at the South Pole

I pull away
From the things that you say
Because I pray too much
And you love as such
With ardent desire
And red hot fire
And I fear
The tear
To roll down a cheek
When we speak
Of things past
Because this cannot last
He stares
And cares
I look
And took
His heart
And we start
To fight and scream and roll
The avalanche of ages to take its toll

I held back, I said
Love can be an attack, and dead, I said
Its dangerous, run
I’m undone
And we will be eternally apart
Should this go south
We both know what we’re about
And the diamond divide
That separates the star
From the black heart
Of ink in your eyes
But the skies, the skies
I look and see
Him and me
For the pinpricks themselves
Are held
In the empty space
Forever, without a trace
Infinitely mine
For all of time
No takebacks
Or haystacks
The needle must pass
Only my love, in the dark
Til I shine
And he mine
Sublime

Fear and loathing are nothing
In their extremity
But the ardent desire
To see the reflection of self
In the others eyes
And the absence of such
For the reason of touch
Or lack thereof
Fear and loathing do not hate
They replace the divine
At the heart of whats mine
In the soul of the one
That has undone
Me like thread
Til I am dead
Or more
And less
Than what that is
But the kiss
Did you miss
The bliss
Or was it I
That die
To the self
When I looked and stared
And saw what isn’t thered
To look back
No fear
And why
You don’t care if you die
And I love
Longingly
But don’t touch
So much

Forever alone,
But my home
Is somewhere far away
And from that day
I can never get there
It is always out side of my reach
And no matter what anyone says
Or what they seem to teach
And preach
I am
Forever alone
In the most extreme sense
Because the past tense
Is Now,
Eternally
And I am here
Forever
Alone
With no direction home
Til a dog with a bone
Bit me
Now he won’t let go
And I do not show
That I am forever
Without a home
And he won’t leave me alone
Though I tell him
‘Tis impossible nigh
That this love will die
But he says I can’t
Let go
And I throw
My arms around
My mortal love

Two bodies, a boy and a girl
Swimming in ink inside a world
Two bodies, a girl and a boy
Playing with each other as though with a toy
Two bodies at swim
How do I get into him
And I can’t
And I shan’t
But I look, and I stare
What is it that I see there
Is it a body, in his eyes
Or something that never dies
As black as the night
Or deep as kryptonite
That fells me
And tells me
To trust
And I must
Run away
To see what will he say
But silence, midnight and no repose
What is it that I chose
Immortal love, or surefire death
Now I live in regret
And the sex
Is what I suspect
Had me undone
Because I thought the One
Had no body to love
But above
As below
With nothing to show
Two bodies, a boy and a girl
All made up in the world
And unfurled
Is a rose
Or a four leafed clover
What chose her
Love or deception
Truth or inception
Two bodies or immortal love
As below, so above

I love licorice, inky and nice
I love to just sink in and bite
But your hypnosis, though it is sweet
Will if I let it, just rot my teeth
And do I care is what I must decide
Or buy myself dentures so I can hide
From the truth that is sitting there in my hands
You tell me you love me so you can demand
Something for nothing I already gave
Sometimes Love means I must save
You by letting you figure it out
Don’t put poison in your own mouth
And pour into mine when you sink in a kiss
Don’t lie to the Truth coz it doesn’t exist

You pay for the purgatory I swim
I blame you instead of him
Because he was an innocent boy
And I was just your toy
To shatter and to take control
But you will NEVER have my soul
You will NEVER have my heart
Death can’t make me restart
This bargain to unseeming death
You love me then you’ll regret
The everlong, the everlast
The young girl is a thing of the past
To be taken care of thus
I don’t see why there’s such a fuss
To go and live in a cave in the alps
Instead of spending time skinning scalps
That never cut their own hair
You’ll be sorry I was there
Sorry I was ever born
Don’t think I didn’t warn
You when I break the seal
I came in, I didn’t cut the deal
I don’t swear and I don’t kneel
So leave me now with what you feel
Leave me now and evermore
I blame you for the sore

Stop telling me to get a job
When you spill the beans on everything I’m thinking of
And when you split the seam just so
That is when I run and go
To get a million miles from here
You will never be dear
And that will never be enough
Don’t equate earnings with love
Because it can be a symbol true
But the symbol’s nothing if I don’t have you
And if I don’t have you then you’ll never have me
Because I want to be free
Not in a dark co-opt
I want this car stopped
I will make the call on the morrow
This marks an end to my sorrow

I would rather be real than okay
So I’ll do what you say
Just because its new
And looks like it will do
For now but not for then
There will come a time when
I grow out of my foolish youth
Always casting shadows after you
And into the gaze of eternity
Where nothing is lacking and everything’s free
But until then I love to jump ship
And ride waves that crest over everything
And slide down shallows into a rockpool
Everything’s fine and everything’s cool
As long as it doesn’t hold me back
Clip my wings onto my back
Hold me into a static thunder
Where my head feels like its going under
Because then is the only time that I
Feel my life is going to die
Feel the bird flap against the cage
Feel the terror in me rage
Against the barricades of the machine
The darkness of an empty dream
So I decide enough of that
I’m Simba and I’m going back
To Hakuna Matata responsibly
The desert has done with me
And Pride Rock is calling me to renew
I thought of Scar and what he will do
Knew I’d have to face him down
If I wanna bring life into the town
And it was a fight and a half against them
The lionesses believe that it was him
Who did it, not me but the answer was this
He came to the Gorge for something he’d miss
So say what you’d like, say what you’d will
I didn’t pull the trigger but I still kill
With a beauty that runs people down
The antelope shaky ground
So hiding the light and hiding the shine
Pretending to others I just do hard time
But it isn’t true, it isn’t real
You know how I really feel
Afraid to admit what I know is true
Coz you’d die for me like I’d die for you
And I’ve had more than my fair share of that
So “Run Simba and don’t come back”
Rings in my ears with each step I take
I fight through the fear for what I forsake
For when they all know, when they all hear
Will they all still hold me dear
Or will they turn on me like before
Because I’m not the something more
But “Remember” echoes from the sky
And my Father meets my eye
The one in the heavenly realm
The one nothing could overwhelm
To urge me onwards through the overpass
Now I am back home at last
Soaking the carnage I left behind
How did it get so out of my mind
That leaving a lunatic to run the show
Was never the best way to go
And time’s up fellas, time’s up life
Its Nala and I for all of time
To reign over the Circle of Life
A completion I don’t have to fight

I think I should write about the dirt leave
Because its the one you cannot grieve
Not to sound all whiny and that
But you left and you didn’t come back
And you blamed me then in the years hencefore
Because I didn’t give you more
Even though it was you
Who left because you wanted to
Thinking that I would trail leaves
Across the grass and into thieves
Thinking that I was beneath
You to fall to deceit
But I got game and I got play
And if you wanna walk away
I won’t follow, I won’t hanker
Because you didn’t think to thank her
For the beneficent of the soul
I laid inside your hands whole
All you could do was say
That’s too close now go away
And when you use the word to cling
That’s when I burn everything
Because I don’t need no man
Especially not one who thinks he can
Call the shots and play the ruse
I just thought you were my muse
And even though it was a loss
I was glad to pay the cost
Rather than be the dipshit fool
Like I was for years in school
Always following the big girl round
While she sends me underground
And even though I complain
I must because you caused me pain
And there is no way but this
Death was hiding in your kiss
A love not for the loving dues
But singing sadly in the blues
Singing sadly on my own
But I left and got grown
And you won’t see me for love nor money
Coming around again my honey
For I have burnt that spider web
Give it to someone else instead
And I wish you the best and I hope you’re happy
Just know that you will never have me
Again because once upon a time you did
Now I’m not anyone’s to give
Away and back and in again
I stand alone til the end
As the proud defiant Lion
You risked it all so thanks for trying
But lies could never compare to love
Inside abundantly above
To never break the door down hence
Crawling is in the past tense
Simpering the slime you own
I dared the dark and took it home
To bed with me and in the room
I watched it fill up with doom
All painted on my college walls
The horror and the freefalls
The agony and the refrain
The never doing that again
The innocence, the incomplete
The angel falling at your feet
And breaking a wing like back
I was not ready for that
Could you not’ve warned me, could you not’ve told
Yours is not a love with which I’ll grow old
That yours is a love to stifle my scream
And then sell my body down the stream
Saying you never did nothing to no one
My love is poison, do you think could you grow one
Of those flowers you used to be
But I’m sorry that just isn’t me
To be ardent and to be true
And if I must, then I will be blue
And yellow and red and kaleidoscope
Now comes a time to begin to hope

I steal bodies from their graves
Like King Tut was taken from his cave
And there were curses placed on me
Scarab beetles were set free
Pandora’s box was opened wide
I said let me see inside
Because there is no darkness enough
To scare me away from love
But the forests were long and deep
And I had promises to keep
Search far and wide into the night
Down for the ride and up for the fight
But even my arrows break in half
I tell the truth and they laugh
So I must be persistently
Putting faith in the best of me
Instead of into others hands
Where they slip it through the sands
Like time in another lot
An hourglass I’m thinking of
But Lara is as Lara does
And Lara is who she was because
A rose by any other name
Still smells as sweet if its the same
So bring it to me here right now
And I’ll Tomb Raid this Earth somehow
Cause all the people they are sleeping
Everlong the widows weeping
Having found the Whole in One
I will see it undone

Artwork: https://theomeganerd.deviantart.com/art/GI-Cover-Gif-Edit-Rise-of-The-Tomb-Raider-511591660

Win, win, win, I came here to fight
I see you’ve got some Kryptonite
And that rock is a beautiful green
But I’m the invincible I’ve always been
And even though you shake the stone
I’m going to take this home
And blow up shards of innocence
That are shielding the criminal
As you feint and act so small
I see you holding through it all
That shard of glass to pierce my light
But I’ll refract, it’ll be alright
And split the white into multiple hues
You can bend the knee and pay your dues
The ones that had me scraping bowls
But I am hungry for your souls
And even Death won’t keep me out
Pour the Truth into my mouth

I’m more scared of the ones that love me
Than of the ones that don’t
Because when people have a stake
They’ll do things others won’t
And they’ll take liberties
That I should decry
But I just hold my breath
When they stick it in my eye
And make me scream aloud
Into my pillow soft
Their help hurts more
Than hatred ever could
And I pray for release
I pray to be saved
From people who know better than me
To the point of decay
And even though I beg
And humble to the stair
They treat me like a person
Who isn’t even there
Who doesn’t even know
The world just as it is
Could you take another look
And you’ll see the lie is his
Not mine to be bought
And not mine to be sold
Don’t put me up for auction
Because I am worth gold
And I’d rather be a penny
Lying in the rain
Than to go through the torture
Of being loved by you again

I need to become the unconditional I seek
Because I look for it everywhere when I am in need
Never finding anyone to even closely measure up
But maybe I can become what I’m thinking of
That love should be ardent, that love should be true
That love should be there no matter what you do
No matter if you rant, no matter if you rave
No matter if you skip the edge of what you cannot save
And in all this recompense, all this unsatisfy
This was the one thing that I didn’t try
To be the change I want, to be the change I am
To be Change, not do, I didn’t understand.

Sometimes words have shards attached
And once you cut you can’t retract
Like a porcupine in what you say
Now I want you to go away
Coz your opinionation destroys my soul
If you want to break the whole
Then crack an egg instead of me
I was blind but now I see
I let them in to tear me down
I call the ocean so I can drown
And now when all the longing is done
I give a damn not for anyone

You can’t spell it out in one word
How do I explain what I have heard
And that I’m in a prophecy
Well, scratch that its we
Cause this is the dawn of the new age
The time comes to turn the page
But spill the beans and I speak
You tell me that I’m weak
And as I illuminate
You denigrate
So I close my mouth again
Until I can stand up to him
The pulverise to enjoy
Keeping down the holy boy
But even in the coming wave
Its not I they need to save
But their own skin from me
Its happening, just wait and see

The Rules and the Great Confine
This is the atrocity of our time
And all beings labour under the yoke
Some of ’em get by, others go broke
But I know for me, my ambition is this
To blow the lines into the abyss
For one time I was young and I really believed
When I grew up I could shake the sleeves
But I watched and I learned and then my anger burned
For whatever you do and whatever you try
The shackles for life will never die
Until you resolutely say no
Do what you will but I’m letting go
And in the underhand of the Hades
The Devil rose up like smoke on the breeze
To challenge and to ensue
I said go to Hell and I will too
Because I’m not afraid of what you say
And if you pick a fight be ready to play
So we harboured a grudge against each other
Each one of us wary to raise up the smother
But finally I said out and be gone
He turned and looked and said I’m the One
And as I stared, and as I looked
Your colours all changed like traffic I’d booked
The softness of hair and the lightness of being
What in the world did I think I was seeing?
And is it you or is it someone else?
Either way I’m in love with it, oh well
And he said to me slowly, don’t you see how it goes
You’re loving me long because nobody knows
And nobody’s telling you what to do
It free and its fair and totally you
So the brigandry to assault
Is only a shadow of what you want
And what you feel you don’t deserve
The God that you live to serve
And when others deny it hurts your heart
But you’re not them and I’m not art
To be played with and toyed with and back and forth
Put your money down and then we consort

The Suffocate, they call it love
But love is drawn from above
And has a purity strain
That leaves nobody in pain
Because love just doesn’t hurt
Though I’ve hurt for what its worth
And even though I’ve singed my skin
They would still have everything
Until I say, finally, Enough!
I’ll be the freedom I call Love
And break the bargain of fool to be
You’re not taking that from me
In the water and in the part
At least I still have a heart
That beats to its own rhythm now
Thank God, for all I do not allow
Not for any temptible dinner
I’m not gonna live my life a sinner
But learn from each one, repent
Someday I’ll be heaven sent

The one thing I hate is the captivate
When they hold you against will in that place
And I fake it til I make it you know
When they’re not looking then I will go
Though they may not see me climbing back
So I can jump to the beating that they lack
And even in the evermore
There is something that I still adore
In the hands of ones that raised me thus
If I didn’t know this, then would I know love
If I didn’t know bondage, would I know the free
So I say thanks for what you did to me

Don’t trust me to be the Lol you know
Imma kick it out the window
And when I was young I thought about running away
So I could adventure each and every day
Not shake my bones at the school’s gate
Because I’m not sure what lies in wait
All of those people talking things
And teachers who are the breakers of the wings
Of innocent circumstance to rote learn
I just want to be gone and burn
In the fire of a soul gone strange
So the furniture can rearrange
And I can be the child I am
I need no leader, let go of my hand
I am for a different shore
In my absence you can adore
If you want, if that’s your way
But I won’t be withheld is what I say

My War was with Death, it was not with you
He took my self and said how dare you?!
I used to be whole and full and complete
Now I’m barely making ends meet
And life has had me on an unholy rack
And You never came back
You left me standing on the bridge
I wondered did my Hero live
For in the split our eyes did meet
There were no shards of disbelief
Only ardent truth and fire steam
Now I realise that was a dream
And I missed the point of the whole thing
You leant on me and my broken wing
Though you may not notice, it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t care
If you had’ve seen the splinter there
If I’d’ve had the courage to say
Please, I need you, don’t go away
But my fear and shaking bones
Wouldn’t let me, I’d been alone
For eons of time and space
And nothing could replace
The warmth of your firm embrace
So I stuttered and said no
I’ll be fine if you go
I’ll get along and make do
I don’t want to be with you
And you took that as firm Truth
Instead of a leftover from my youth
And the hunger of not being seen
And meeting someone I’d never been
But in my minds eye is not enough
I chose fear instead of love
And hobbled the cornerstone I’d picked
If you can but I can’t forgive it

Loving the future instead of the Now
I let the Truth slip away somehow
And lived in the dark underworld of time
Where everything I do’s a crime
And everything I say
And everywhere I meet
Is lies and anger and reflectable deceit
Because hunger is starving but its better than this
I’ll leave you with love but I will not miss
The bullets from my Valentine and the kiss
Of Death so soft and sweet on my lips
Before he killed me with eclipse.

Forever is over, it was incomplete
One minute I’m me, the next I’m at your feet
Like a death bargain to fight til it ends
I’m pulling the switch on used to be friends
Because we never were, it was never that
It was hit me up so I can hit you back
And I didn’t understand, no I never realised
The river was missing until it died
And I locked the box and I turned the key
This kind of thing isn’t for me
For the nevermore and the never to be
You promised but, not to me

I’ll cut the wire, I’ll end the script
Because you know you’ll never do it
And I listen to her refrain
To help but it ramps up the pain
And I wish they wouldn’t act
Like it does me good
To tie me up with ropes
So they can spill my blood
And even though you promise
And even though you swear
I know that its a lie to say
Love was ever there

If my pain is irrational
Then your irrationality is pain
How you can scream at me
And make me take the blame
Put it on my head
All the pushing forth
Then say I amn’t sorry
And show no remorse
But the truth is is this
That I never did a thing
All was supposition
When you heard me sing
And sometimes a canary
Can be brilliant bright
Maybe my yellow
Burnt your eyes tonight
But all of your hostility
And all of the poison seep
May sink into my veins
And bed itself in so deep
But like the python trainer
I know how to suck it out
By leaving you standing
You’ll learn what I’m about
That I never was a child
To hang upon your tail
I’ve always been a tower
And your attempts will fail
To keep me from the Light
Its my birthright to shine
So if you do not like it
No one asked you to, its fine

It shatters my good girl cred when someone calls me a bitch
But now after years upon years, I’m finally warming to it
Finally learning to walk just as I am
And if you hate what you have got then I understand
Just don’t expect me to ever move or change
If you don’t like the furniture then you rearrange
Or tell me the problem, tell me the issue here
Do not give me daggers and call me insincere
Coz I’m nothing if not honest, almost to a fault
Hands up who robbed the bank; I was in the vault
So even though you know, and even though you care
I cannot be myself if the love isn’t there
And love to me means freedom to always be yourself
You don’t like it you can leave me for someone else
Or something that you do want to sit with in the night
But I won’t apologise for my soul’s insight
Or the worry that I do up against the fray
I know all pain is born to go away
Coz nothing lasts forever, everything will leave
So before it happens I make sure I grieve
And know what I’m missing before its gone
Then I can say honestly, I love you and so long

“As long as I’m going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly”

Is my love coercible, does my love have a price
Must I always be this nice
Must I always be good and kind
Or is it okay to speak my mind
Because for years I’ve been feeling that
You took my power, now I’m taking it back
And even though you crumble the fort
I will not mission abort
Or go back on the word I make
I love a thing for its own sake

It was the beginning of the end
On the day we met
I just didn’t know
It was possible to forget
A love that burns you raw
A love that burns you true
And you said it was not that
It was that I hated you
For all you couldn’t be
All you never were
And I exclaimed in anger
I was never her
I only reached out
Where I saw a friend
But you saw my true colours
And that was the end.

Well intentioned but stupid, raise your hand, that’s me
When you fall in love with everything you see
And everything is fabulous and everything is joy
And there in that spot, everything’s a boy
And I how I ran my veins blood dry
Nevermind the glands that teach you how to cry
Trying to be perfect, something that I’m not
Trying to be anything you have not forgot
But you stuck the knife in, when you readily denied
That you had ever seen me and the rivers that I lied
So I cut the stream mid cycle and I vanished form the air
Am I a psychopath, was he really there
Or was it all envisioned, envisioned in my soul
I tend to be a dreamer, did I dream up his soul
And you say with a sigh, but sighing is no good
You paid for me with silver so they could have my blood
And now that it is over, now that it is done
I’ve learned to trust nobody, coz no one is the one
There is only me, indeed there is only I
The one impenetrable that will never die
Coz everything is dust, just a passing folly
Next time I go shopping, I won’t put you in the trolley

God it feels so good to say those words
I was building a patchwork quilt
And with every stitch I’d sow
There was a dagger in the hilt
And I’d feel the fire burn
I would feel the knife pierce
You know the one that stings
When they call you insincere
Though you’re being raw
Though you’re being red
The shadowplay of circumstance
In the things they said
And I line up all the plants
I line up all the rows
I line up all the gasoline
Til the whole thing blows
And its a damnable relief
Its a beautiful sigh
To watch the eve runs
Run my teardrops dry
And what it all comes down to
Is the magnitude of this
The one I loved
Simply did not exist
But as an archetype
Growing in my mind
I left to follow him
And you were behind
But don’t turn your back on Scar
Because you know what he will do
Mufasa and his brother
But he lives in you
And if you’re willing to
He will be born anew
I thought the King was dead
But it just isn’t you

The mountain that we built, the mountain that fell down
Filled up the ocean so everyone could drown
And I dunno why I held on for so many years
I could have cried another ocean with my tears
But now that it is over, long long lost and gone
I don’t feel sad at all, instead I feel strong
To build up the storm, to quench the Argonaut
What did we make, a love or just something that hurts a lot
A bargain that will break, hands that shouldn’t hold
I held you into me now the story’s being told
And I wish I hadn’t willfully in all my blind
Told you it doesn’t matter, there’s nothing that I mind
And give you leave to cut, give you leave to break
You don’t even mean to do it, you don’t see what you take
And until I remove the power and short
The circuit that I’m living with its always an abort
Of real love and true cause real love is pure
Real love doesn’t say I amn’t really sure
But pours all of the light back into the sky
I don’t love you at all and you’re the reason why

That startling moment when you realise
That none of this is real
All the love and all the heartbreak
And everything you feel
Has all been imagined
In the grand design
I thought that this was love
I thought that you were mine
But it turns out to reckoning
And every present heart
That though you held all of me
I didn’t hold a part
Not a single corner
Nor a fragment of my soul
Was to come close
Enough to make you whole
And it was arrogance
Pure deceit in me
To ever think that I
Could be what you want to be
So I let the teardrops fall
And I gather up the gifts
That I bought for someone else
That I used to miss
And growing into shoes
That give me back my feet
I’ll see you in the sunset
Or where the lions meet
Underneath a sky
Never to be born
I thought that I loved you
But I wasn’t even warm

The architecture of a downfall
The poetry of collapse
All of my ideas and all of my maps
Were pointing in directions
Never to exist
And love inside alive
Is the thing I missed
I went searching for a stranger
And I found myself
I went kneeling at an altar
But I amn’t spelt
And even in the hunger, even in the night
I know somehow in pain, I will make it through the fight
Back to the belonging, where I used to be
It wasn’t about you
It was about me.

I’d burn that bitch alive
For daring to tell me how to live my life
Its intense but I do not annotate
On paper I can be irate
So that I can fill the chasm
With all the lungs that says she has him
And even though the monsters eat me up
I know I did it just for luck
As the witches burn my stakes
I wonder about what it takes
For liars to be born
And for time to take its turn
For heaving to fall
And for me to see through it all
For though its angry, it is weary
But never again will you have me teary
Adieu to who I used to be
The death of Taylor set me free

Abstinence makes the heart grow stronger
Now I don’t need him any longer
Like the deep, dark deprave
Of eyes I used to crave
But when he pulled me from the height
To plunge me deep into the night
It was then I realised
My dependency is despised
And he is free to live his life
And I to move without strife
So I cut the cord anew
If I can’t have all of you
Then I will make do
With nothing until I prove
To myself that I am free
And he is not needing me
But in the bulletproof I long
I found I was already strong
And needed not the armory
To protect him from me
But drop the weapons and the gun
Drop the shield, you are undone
And come crawling on your knees
Its fine if you want to believe
Cause only following a wire
Will lead you to where its higher
And I am not to keep you out
If you want to know what I’m about
But here the wounds in my hands
The Doubting Thomas understands
And so do I that people need
Trust before they’ll concede
That truth is its own defence
I say things only when they’re meant
And like Clark I do not lie
I would not have met your eye
If I could not follow through
Here’s evidence enough for you
So read the cautionary tale and weep
Abandonment and the Keep

Grief hit me like a cold hard storm
When I lost him to the warm
And I craved another shore
Why do I always want more?
And to travel around the bend
Like Poca’s canoe without end
But there is a firm decide
You can’t see the other life
You can’t move beyond the pale
The black card is made of shale
And I could no sooner shatter glass
Than Donald Trump could have class
But somehow part of me leads
And the rest just believes
As I’m dragged by what, I don’t know
I’ve got something to show
But leaving the path of others
Means abandoning your brothers
To the pyramid scheme of lies
They have lived with all their lives
And when its gone its gone in you
But moves in the others too
As you watch their eyes alight
Then dim like flickered firelight
And I swore I’d bet my life
Take me now or I will, alright
I made a bargain dare with God
I’ll know the Truth or you’ll know the Lord
That walks in these very shoes
And in front of all of yous
A lightening hit me from the sky
And in truth I did die
To dare the chasm to come forth
I move and walk without remorse
With the emptiness of my soul
Moving like a black whole
That no light can escape
Its held within my red cape
And you may not see it, you may not know
But I change air as I go
Feel the reverberatory sigh
Its time for this dream to die

Does anything mean anything these days?
I know I’m set in my ways
And people tell me I’m an old soul
Or stock like when the land was whole
But its no wonder to me that people depress
When they live their lives in such undress
Always moving, always going
Keep keeping on and never slowing
And I know the old adage
Distract yourself and it will save
But I could never buy bullshit
Just coz they tell me to do it
And be left with muck in my hands
I experiment with their demands
But keep coming up with faeces
I drop the lot and the creases
And smooth out my dress so fine
Honesty will be mine
Because I’ve walked shadows for too long
And your way is just wrong
And I for my part played along
But my heart is just too strong
To keep on living like a fool
Like they teach you in school
So I break rank and warm
Say turn to face the storm
You will not perish, you will not die
In fact your skin will come alive
And you will be pumped anew
The life will come back to you
Instead of draining by degrees
Like Chinese torture on your knees
Don’t shut your mouth or up shop
Just because it hurts a lot
Spill it on the carpet there
Let the world know you care
And even if nobody turns
It only coz their heart burns
To do the exact same thing
Be free as a bird on the wing
Who can fall from a tree with no self pity
I was born to abandon this empty city

Why does regular love feel so mundane?
Am I using the wrong side of my brain?
As I hop between the lines they draw
The icicles that never thaw
Because they are all so dull
A grey world living in my skull
When I look at the people move
I think of what I have to lose
Around like a rotary blade machine
Each day doing the same thing
How in the world can they be satisfied
Living that kind of life
And I’m alone, I know, sure
But at least I am free and pure
As people say I think too high
But I would rather die
Than give up the innocent bone
That I chew on when I’m at home
And rings my bell and moves my feet
All day long and in my sleep
And maybe somehow it is the same
But I feel they don’t know my name
Or ever see me or ever know
Would they miss me if I go?
Well sure, in theory like when I flew
To NY and you did too
And the body’s absent but the soul
Hasn’t gone and is still whole
So even though they build a lie
I can’t believe and I don’t know why
“You must move on” they say
But he only died yesterday
And everyone’s back ticking their clock
So when they say they love me a lot
I tend to think that they do not
How could they when they fill the slot
The gap, the absence, that people leave
They don’t take the time to really grieve
But up and go and out the door
Its fine, I don’t love you no more