I haven’t kissed a man since two thousand and five
And I haven’t felt inclined since you came into my life
Because you are better and more deep and pure
And I was born to be demure
Always hopping the crosswalks
And you always said that money talks
So I keep my paper clean
I hope that you pierce my dream
And come in like before
I know that you’ll love me more
Than you did the first time round
Because now you know the sound
Of the true love blues
The gangsters are after yous
And even though you call me names
You know that I play no games
The master has been you
To make the moves like you do
While I watch from afar
Always wishing on a star
To bring him back again
At least he could be my friend
And know that I never lied
It just Truth you haven’t tried

Never thought I’d meet my final match
A man to meet who meets me back
And I’ve always been independently
Walking the best of me
But secretly in my heart
I longed for my other half
But when you came around
I shuddered to hear the sound
Because it was earthquake thunder
An ocean and I’m going under
No merman to ink my skin
But in truth I’m in love with him
Holding back the words to say
Can I come with you today?
As you pounce like a panther
Then the divide set in like cancer
Coz something that I didn’t see
Is that you felt the same for me
And when I walked my heroed boots
It pulled you up at the roots
Like a quilt that comes asunder
I never thought to call your number
Because you had mine
You and me for all of time

I’ll fight any man
I do it coz I know I can
Watch me karate chop
I’ll show you what I’m not
And you’ll see what I am
I hope you can understand
Why I’m not your little girl
I was born to rock your world.

If I ain’t then I ain’t
You’ll hear no complaint
But let me go easy, let me go free
You’ll hear no Oath of Allegiance from me
And when the worlds come washing long
Its then you’ll see that I am strong
Never suffering the fool
Didn’t they teach you that in school?

I’m okay but I’m still stressed
So if you’re asking then that’s a yes
Because the boxes turn in on their edges
I’m a grasshopper cutting hedges
Running with the wolves and lines
Breaking boxes all the times
But whenever I do just that
I get hit with my hitting back
I get stung with my come undone
A legacy of being young
And sensitive by degrees
I wonder will they talk to me’s
Or be ignored again, again
God damn I wish I had a friend
Even though when I do
I say eeyeugh I don’t want you
And push them far and wide away
I still hear what they say
That humans are complex beings
The never trust what you’re seeings
And unfold into the light
I think I’ll choose the dynamite

There was nothing to doubt til I sought to confirm
And that my friend is called stroking the worm
That is called taming the beast
I up and out before I’m deceased
Before the fire burns my skin raw
Or the ice in me gets a chance to thaw
I will rise above the state
Previously known as dissipate
Previously known and heretofore
As who I was before
Before I came to be
The stepping in that’s out of me
The stepping on that is gone
The Laura that will be strong
Instead of hammered by the blows
That every one of those boxers throws
And in that impingement of desire
I become the one to conspire
I become the set alight
I am not one to fight
But hear ye, here ye and know
Don’t come around me to go

My anger burns to see the lies
My anger burns, the hero dies
As I lay him on a slab
But you can’t bring him back with feeling bad
Only realise the source
I cut him off without remorse
Because he did not tell the tale
I raised my flags and set sail
To another pride filled land
Of reasons that are underhand
All for what I thought I knew
Did I ever look at you?
Or only see my reflect
In your eyes as suspect
And shot in plain sight and view
My rebound hit back from you
And splintered souls of their own making
It was love that I was taking
It was demonic I was waking
It was innocence forsaking.

Don’t rain on my parade you fools
I beat the best of cocaine schools
And I will rise to take your bait
Do not leave it up to fate
Or you will feel the burn
When the needle’s set to turn
And my eyes are set to pale
A genius can never fail
Only learn how to be wrong
And guess what, I’m rising strong
To hold back a tide of water
I will not sit any longer
But humdrum the other locks
Tulips and Forget Me Nots

Photo: https://www.wallpaperup.com/454673/angry_boy_strong_dark_sad_eyes_anime_historical_history_nobunaga_the_fool.html

Stop hurting people, stop not caring
Or you will see that I am daring
And will move as quick as nick
To pull the rug from under it
For though you may be so sure
I will stand for the pure
And shatter dreams and illusions
Shatter eons of profusions
That outlet and that let die
You will come to meet my eye
And feel the serious I rest
I am the eternal quest
For what’s right, for what’s just
And honesty is a must
So get down from your high horse there
See these eyes, I’ll break your stare

My friends are afraid of dynamite
And I am afraid to blow up alright
Because I know when I come to exploding
It’ll be eons that I am eroding
To pulverise and pull away
The masks that cover what we say
And hide the innocence by degrees
Get the fuck up off your knees
And stand for what you know is right
Because I’m setting it alight
And you can be the fury fuel
Like when we kicked it in school
Always haunting the hallways
Of debutantes and runaways
But there comes a subtle fight
Behind the lines of kryptonite
And the warriors wear glasses too
Make sure they don’t catch you
Because there rides on this a scene
To capture and to undream
To break and to unfurl
Who saves the girl who saves the world

666, the sign of the Beast
The sign of me signed, sealed and deceased
But I’ve been running from my shadow for so long
I hardly even know where I went wrong
Always hopscotching lines to be so nice
Then getting knocked out by the sugar and spice
And knuckle sandwiching my own face
Beset by disease and lies and disgrace
Til finally I see the flaw
That raps me sideways across the jaw
The fear of what I may come to be
I am afraid of the Devil in me
I was afraid to utter names
Lest He be hid in those games
But I’m not a fan of fantasy
I keep looking for Him but there’s nothing to see
Because its all a lie to keep us in line
Who tells it is harder to define
But I know one thing and I know it for sure
If you stand up then you see the pure
And whatever may be will fall behind
No, I’m not out of my mind
I’ve just revolved my heart and soul
And Voldemort can kiss my hole

Photo: http://www.adamsartbox.com/blog/category/all

Study for your exams before you take ’em
Look at the person before you forsake them
Because all may not be as it appears
And I am crying diamond tears
To reflect your perfect shards
The rainbow in the house of cards
That falls whenever the wind blows
He comes around before he goes
And my hands are not stone strong
I wonder how I did it wrong
When I only sought to be
The best of love emotionally
And I thought he would admire
The way I set the world on fire
Instead of punishing the flames
That rise in snakes from surnames
For though you may be all Air
Aries burns with its own flair
So take me not to town for this
I’m myself, that’s all it is
As people pull me to and fro
I SWEAR I will not go!
And I suppose to be misled
When you were only in my bed
Thinking of the vast divine
And roses that would be mine
When the folly comes to be
Its fine, just blame it on me

You’re like a drink of water on a hot day
I’m thirsty as fuck and you don’t go away
You just hold your hand out to me
Wait there until I trust what I see
And coax me slowly out of my shell
The others can see but they do not tell
Half of what they think they know
The thing about you is that you do not go
Even when I falter the edge
You brush it off like strands on the ledge
And I can tell honestly that you believe
That givers know best when they receive
And lovers must for a time or two
Be taken in love for it to flow through
And rebuild the story that someone would break
“It’s not your fault, they don’t know what they take
When they take it all from hands that shake
Its not for you but everyone’s sake”
And I fall into eyes that blaze me honest
“I’m no genius but you can trust me on it
I’ve been round the block a winter or two
I’m in love with a hero and here’s looking at you.”
*raises glass
Thank you <ℑ

Photo Credit: AngiWallace on DeviantArt

I’m not a fan of castigation though I’d say I have friends
I have a power deep inside and Lord knows it never ends
But when they place me in a box and put a stamp on my head
I fire up my pistols and leave ’em all for dead
But it never does me any good because the time comes around
When the mob is all gung ho and I hear a ringing sound
And as the shot fires out into the cold, dead night
I feel a burning in my chest and my heart is set alight
By the fuming of their words, by the hatred in their veins
Why is it that I am beset with hunger pains?
When the other is starving for beast or bread or money
I lie there all bent up and Christ it isn’t funny
To be so undone and so beaten down
Do you know there was a time when I ran this town
And maybe I must give up the kinging in my blood
For a chance to be sacred, you know, really good
In actuality, not just in defiance
So fuck your suitable, I’m the queen of non-compliance.

The devastation of not being us
I’m afraid but I still trust
Even though there’s nothing to go on
I’m praying you’re not gone
Because you were all that I could see
When there was a human talking to me
With such intensity I could barely focus
Gravity shifted, now you are the locus
So I hang on all you do not say
And I philosophise your going away
Making degrees out of trash
For sure he will come back
But each day at the dock leaves me cold
Your boat went out and never came home

Living in ScareCity the people grab
“I’m doing okay, I’m not too bad”
And in that assumption of only just so
There is an ocean of love that they let go
In not opening hearts, in closing down
There is a child inside they let drown
And consequently the ones outside
(The flesh and bones who are alive)
No longer know how to be
They think this world is not for me
Because no adult ever shows
That water moves as it goes
And rivers are made to run free
If its not them, it’ll have to be me
To break the brisk for once and for all
Here I am and I’ll freefall

Its unappreciated and I don’t stand up
Then I complain I don’t get any love
While the children are crying and the infants burn
From the napalm they drop while I’m taking a turn
On the infinity wheel that spins in my head
Leaving the orphans whose parents are dead
And nobody sees and nobody cares
But nobody asks because nobody dares
Because people spend their lives to believe
That death is a storm that they must grieve
When really in hunger the anger is sought
When they marshal the troops and the thief is caught
But I’m all aghast at my reflection
So I run from their eyes with misdirection
But every leaf knows on every tree
That autumn is coming, even for me

My soul is not up for commercial arrangement
If you try that on me there’ll be an estrangement
When you put a price on my heart and home
I bite and then walk alone
Because I feel so hard done by
You do not even try
To fit the pieces jigsaw close
Did I love you or a ghost?
Cause you are almost not here
Did I even hear you clear?
When you said we were a match
Then took your bag to not come back
As I waited on the stoop
Because Lord knows I believed in you
“Another time, my dear, my dear”
The break of day when you are here.

Brick by boring brick I tore my castle down
And I hopscotched on the edges of a foreign town
Always waiting for a break, always waiting for the time
You would give me the signal to tell me you were mine
But as the days wore on I gave in to fear
And I shook to think that I did not have you, dear
And the people are all staring, the people all know
That I am somewhere you could never go
With their looks and their stares, their vagabonds and dues
Don’t you know I have a man who loves to sing the blues
But sorry they were right and sorry I was wrong
I didn’t realise it was a lonely song
A simple melody with a single guitar
Now I am supping whiskey in the backend of a bar
Trying not to let the despair ink my skin
Remember how you were before you were him
But I have lost my mind and sunk so far down
That I cannot recollect and you were not around
As I stared out of that window onto a campus that was bare
Something is missing, there’s something that isn’t there
Like a wasted agonise or a simply isn’t true
The missing that it was was me missing you.

You did say you’d be there, you did say you’d call
And I did say I’d wait for you through it all
But as the years passed and not a sound came
I found myself calling your name
Do you not know, do you not remember
The feelings that once upon a time you engender
Apparently not for I am but one
Of a litany of females that you have done
And I think to myself of obsequious folly
I never thought I’d be a little iced lolly
But here I go and here I am
You know I thought you would understand
Not pulverise bones and punish wounds
That you open up a little too soon
And I never did nothing to you so enjoy
Your resident evil as the poor boy
That everyone hates, that everyone fools
But I’m not one of the fuckers from school
I am unique and I am my own
But fuck it, you know, you got me alone
And I fell as hard as any can do
And in the end fell victim to you
To do what you will, do what you must
You know, baby, we’ll always have trust
But that was a lie, that was deceit
And never again shall the twain meet
Like symmetrical lines, a perfect parallel
The word that divides heaven and hell
And splits us both back into the story
When you had your hunger and I had my glory
But we like divisive lovers of old
Took what they gave us and painted it gold
But gilt can never make metal of ash
And now that you’re gone I don’t want you back
For the pain, it was stark, the pain, it was bleak
And now you want to show up on my street
But the diamond divide can never surpass
I don’t think I told you that I kick ass
And I got an A in all of my shit
Don’t call me names and expect me to hit
Back like you do, just walk on by
And when you move on could you tell me why
Without so much as a backward sigh
You could let go and hang up, goodbye.

Its like you don’t care, you left me to the wolves
And you are the boxer whose punch never pulls
As I take the hit, now I’m going down
And my killer is someone that I want around
But I don’t mind coz that was the deal
I’ll tell you I love you and you make me feel real
And I’ll take the pain and I’ll take the price
But just don’t expect me to think that you’re nice
When the price is raw, red suffering hunger
The feeling of you and I when we’re younger
And not so jaded and not so broke
But the wheel set on spin and then onto choke
And as I gaze at the stars in the sky
I think about how you left me to die
In the feast of a famine and the ravage of time
The moment in space when you said you were mine
But words are all honey and you cannot survive
On lies that were sold just to keep you alive
So take your ticket and get on the train
I’ll be standing here out in the rain
Until you get back, until you’re home
Until my skeleton bones are alone
Because you never come and you never call
And sometimes I wonder were we at all
Were we but a dream in a fragment of heart
Not lovers forever til death do us part
So slowly I drag my carcass from grass
The steeds are moving but I’m letting ’em pass
For once on the bridge then nothing at all
Goodbye and good luck and to hell with it all

I’ve muted Trump on Twitter because he’s got nothing to say
And I don’t have time for things to go that way
I don’t have the energy to be draining by his speech
And everyone in anger standing under the leaves
So I block him out because something I’ve learned
You withdraw your attention and the tables are all turned
What is it that makes a President, the election and the votes
Or everyone showing up when he’s turning coats
So I say show your back and then show him the door
If you fall into the shadow then it only spurs it more
Because people go as this, you attract what you desire
Keep your eyes on the prize and set the world on fire
And do not waste your precious moments on this earth
Drinking in words that were spoken to hurt
Keep your ears as clean as the whistle that you dry
And if they draw you in, well you can let them try
But know all the while you’re bigger and you’re better
And a boat like yours can withstand the weather
Don’t let it grind you down, don’t let it break your heart
But if it does, then love, make the pain into an art
And paint the constellations in patterns on the wall
Don’t let it be for nothing, go into freefall
And when the landings done and you have come to be
The world will listen to you like its gonna do to me

Call me a bitch and I’ll up the ante
Call me the best and you’re looking fancy
And I’ll head nod all the damn way
You’re ahead of the game, or that’s what I say
Because not everyone sees what I’ve up my sleeve
And the ones that do don’t even believe
All that I intend to unfurl
Show me your hand and I’ll rock your world
And you don’t need to shake or fear
Don’t you know that I’ll take care of you, dear?
And knock all the bullies down from their standing
Do you even know what you’re demanding?
I have it all covered and the bases mapped
You want freedom, baby, consider it capped!

Why do they leave us, why do they go?
Why does life shape us, why? I don’t know
Why do the plates tectonically shift
Three seconds later, what did I miss?
But the whole earth has moved and spun on its axis
Now I’m sipping gin while you’re doing taxes
And I’m acting gleeful and laughing the sin
While you knit your brows and worry within
Wheresofore this reversal of roles
Now you’re shooting stars and I’m all black wholes
As we revolve the sun, moon and sea
Sweet Mother of God, are you talking to me?!

Coming to terms with the dark archetype
Its been living in me like kryptonite
And I’ve been fighting to be a good girl
But there is a land mine that blows up my world
Because I am so angry at all that’s unjust
And when I quell the storm I do not trust
That it is gone and not merely at bay
And explodes outward again when I look away
So I am coming to slowly embrace
The she-devil inside that I will trace
The angel built to destroy and renew
There’s no limit to what the devastation will do
Because Rome was not built in a day
And it took many eons to flood wash away
All of the lies and all of the ruins
All of the stories and their undoings
And I’m coming to learn, I’m coming to see
That in this shitstorm I rely on me
And can trust in the two hands at the end of my arms
Bring it, she says, and I pull the alarms

I am a gift to be savoured, I am love to be enjoyed
I am not free and favored by all of the boys
And when there is movement in unintentioned pain
I fall down upon them like acid rain
I never see it coming and I never hold back
If they use their anger then I attack
And I show no mercy like no mercy is shown
Like the leaves on the trees, all withered and blown
Like the harbingers of doom the prophets foresee
Like the way they look down when they talk to me
Like the way they try to pave their own road
But their burden to bear is not mine to load
And I will not carry the weight of their hate
The weight of their futile all steam and irate
The weight of their hunger, the weight of their trials
The fire of their fury and fervent denials
Because I have seen much and I have seen long
I know what I am and where I belong
And am not to be moved by friend, foe or folly
If you don’t want to be stung then you shouldn’t pick holly.

Photo Credit: Barrie Kelly
http://www.buryps.co.uk/gallery/barrie-kelly/

I got the fuse and you got the spark
Lets blow this thing to bits in the park
And you got the smile that meets my eye
I know I’ll love you til I die
And we can be run and we can be beat
But they can’t kill the place where the waters meet
No, they can’t stop the flames or the smoke from pluming
And they can’t stop this fire from all consuming
So bring your lies, so bring your tales
Bring your anger and all your chainmails
And if you think we’re done pulling punches
Then give us some gravel and hear the crunches
I laugh and you gaze back into the sky
This is so much better than living a lie!!! BOOM BOOM!

If there’s one thing I hate its the sarcophagus smile
The smile that says “Honey, be cute for a while,
If you don’t behave then he’ll never come back
And its really not cool for you to act like that.”
So I just bow my head whenever it greets
And I undermine in lies and deceit
And I do my best to be troubled as hell
Just to get under her skin as well
And I laugh to myself to see myself fall
Cause I know when I go, she can’t play hard ball
And I have the cards and I have the deck
And I’ll be the one to list a shipwreck
So when you come make sure you go
Coz I’ll be the one to bring it you know…..

I have a problem with feminism
There’s rules and there’s laws and there is a schism
Between what’s heart and between what’s home
There’s an exorcism and people alone
Because I am not afraid of men
They come what may and they again
Seek to know my demise
But I always meet their eyes
For I know I cannot fall
They may as well heed the call
Because my voice is loud and strong
And it cannot go wrong
But all of these irkings from the fold
If you don’t bear down they’ll steal your gold
And we must always be on our guard
Life works better when you’re hard
But a river knows the flow
And love is the way I go
To move with ease around the rocks
Of kindness and forget me nots
Slowly to permeate the hate
With a gradation of concentrate
To break the limestone into shale
And turn the dewdrops into hail

I tell them nothing because they conflate
What I love with what I hate
And piece together a world of shards
They make my life so damn hard
As I beg for a moment to be alone
They decide to confiscate my phone
And pulverise my hopes and dreams
Hang my head on their moonbeams

***

But there’s is a harrow I could never believe
They don’t know love but they hang on my sleeve
Trying to make me forsake
Something I’m given, no I didn’t take
For it was offered by a heart that’s huge
And I’m not down with their deluge
Of words and words of rain and rain
Blame him but you are the pain

***

So I tell them nothing because they don’t understand
I hide my eyes and I have planned
To upend their canoe
I do not belong to you
My heart is in another home
My heart belongs to him alone
Who could ever kiss my sky
Let him go? I’d rather die.

The talkers can meet the back of my hand
People tear down what they don’t understand
And people taboo what they don’t know
You love someone and they tell you so
You must do this and then do that
If he leaves then never come back
And punishment is a state of mind
Make sure he don’t leave you behind!

 

But I could never fall in with the folly
Of post-feminist work that people call jolly
And I only find a burden to bear
If I love him so then why can’t I care
And why can’t I tell him the stars of the sky
Shine for him only and will only die
When he does into the black of the night
Holding my hand through the hematite

 

So take your rules and conflagrations
I buy no bull from train stations
And when the last comes to be
You will all look up to me
For blazing a trail that you never could
With freedom to hold and freedom to hug
Whoever the hell I damn well please
I’ll be as I am and rise from my knees

We fought so hard we forgot the love
Til it bitch slapped us with the back of a glove
To dare us to move, to dare us to change
We agree to comply and the world rearrange
To become for us the promised land
Instead of demons dancing underhand
And it took time and it took fate
It might have been anger but it was never hate
Only shadings of vibratory pain
That falls on the ground like acid rain
Burning the plants and burning the trees
And turning it into you against me’s
But what goes up must come down
So goes the law of moving around
But what is still is ever last
It was never born so it can never pass
It was never created so it can never die
It never was never broken and it doesn’t try
To argue for its own good case
Love will never go to waste
Just repair the carnage blues
Fills them up with me and yous

I’ve always tried to be the perfect little girl
To match the edge of incomplete or so says the world
But finding myself soft, lost inside your arms
I am more at home with you than I ever was in charms
But breaking into blisters that fall down from the shelf
I realise he knows me like he knows no one else
And I realise he loves me like I never thought could be
He might revolve the earth but his earth revolves me
And when I’m sitting quiet and you’re whispering your dreams
I promise that I’m yours underneath moonbeams
Underneath a thousand skies that could ever come to be
Is the feel of your hand slotting into me
And meeting at the break where my knuckles and my bones
Match yours to a tee in the acres of alones
In the thousands of long gone bys and the millions yet to pass
I am in love with you and will be, as you ask

The impulse is this
Seal it with a dance or a kiss
Til you think me remiss
And steal it back in the blink of an eye
Expect me not to die
The gateless bargain, the promise you withhold
And I was sold
But now I pay
Every day
For what I bought
A fish in the net
And I am caught

Its a game of aces, its a game of nines
Its a game of I’ve done this a thousand times
Its game of retracing lines
And double backing over mines
And when I hit the diff just right
Its a fire I will ignite
An inferno to burn down
The anger walls that line their town
To bake and shake the wary wolves
To kill the pain that never dulls
And to set the angels free
You want out? Then follow me!

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.ie/pin/382946774548568762/

I love to play the bad guy and take the blame
Then when they get mad I can say its always the same
Coz no one really cares, no one ever asks
And everybody’s hiding behind their happy masks
While they point the finger so I can be the one
Point it if you chose, it feels like a gun
As you take aim and sear me with your words
And I relish the ostracize because they never heard
The things I didn’t utter, the profound I am
They’ll all be sorry when I become a man
And stand up for what I mean, the thing that they beat down
But its been twenty years and I’m still living in this town
And you can’t build tomorrow on what you will do
If I want to make a change then I must be true
And revolve the world and remake the story
My love can move mountains and bring back the glory
Of a bygone era, of a bygone time
When hunger was our problem for the destiny sublime

Called a bitch in the club…
What of?
Don’t sidle this way no more
Unless you want a fist through the floor
Or the roof of your mouth
Handing it out
Is not what I’m about

But you must hate men
If you don’t go again
When he asks
But behind the masks
I sense
A growing omnipotence
Of desire and hate
That makes me irate
I dare you to try
I ain’t gonna cry

When you spit words in my face
About disgrace
And lies
But I despise
Your attitude
And the megalomania you exude
We aren’t your toys
Someone’s gotta tell some of these boys
Coz the game is the same
Whether its Weinstein or Joe Blow calling your name
And I don’t plan to scare
So hit me if you dare
I won’t back down
Bring it, I’m sound

Domineering, aggressive and way too entitled
Do you think I’m a fool or just unbridled
Because I know, because I’ve learned
If you trust a man then you’re gonna get burned
And I’ve watched you carefully so I know
You love them hard then you let them go
So why don’t you leave your bags at the door
Call it what it is instead of adore