Staring At The Stars

Does eternity gaze at you 
When you’re staring at the stars
And do you think you could see their lights
Through your prison bars
Coz we’re all in the gutter
But some of us are looking up
Is it just a mirage
To say that I’m in love
Coz the guy don’t even know me
Or so it would seem
And he’s looking for a girlfriend
Not for a sky high queen
And I can’t figure out what it may mean
My friend says it’s an expression of what I dare to dream
And he’s taken by another so I’ve got to let it go
I say I’m not cold, though I’m standing in the snow
And he was like a stranger that day on the phone
I’d never felt so embarrassed or left all alone
As I told him that I loved him, that I held him dear
And he made the situation all too crystal clear
And I’m just clutching at straws
Because the ice never thaws
I’m just frosting up the glass
And he was just lounging on the grass
As I waited and I wondered
And slightly ran away
Out of fear of what I felt
And of what I might say
Because it’s too good to be true
This couldn’t be real
That I get all I want
And spare cards to deal
And it’s so obvious
He’s what I’m looking for
As I stand outside
Just staring at his door
And there’s light and there’s warmth
But it’s all inside
I’m shivering and I’m shaking
From the window where I hide
Do I finally let this go
Or knock and be seen
I wouldn’t mind the weather
Coz it is just a dream
And there are passers by
Telling me, go home
I didn’t dare to mention
That it’s inside an iPhone
And I dig my hands down deeper
Into the pockets of my coat
I’m taking this too far
And what is worse I know it
So I take one last look
As I head for the trees
To live a life of freedom
Instead of living on my knees
But as I go I hear a shout
That he can’t do without
I turn and I glare
And he’s just standing there
In a dressing gown and slippers
Looking oh so calm
But I can’t run back
To another false alarm
And anyway he’s got company
And I won’t lead astray
Go back to what you made
It’ll be the break of day
And we’re miles apart
In the feet that we span
And I’ll always love you
Though I don’t know if you can
Love me just to leave me
So let me go this time
I would if I could, he says
But you’d still be mine
And I glower and I pout
Though it does me no good
He frowns in return
As I turn back for the wood
Because I can’t do this
Anymore, my love
I don’t have a reason
So look to God above
And you’ll find your answers
It’s everything they say
Maybe I am strong
To leave this and away
But he pulls me with force
The mere magnet strength
And I look for my courage
Coz I don’t know where it went
As I’m grappling with stones
Trying to get a hold
And all of this flipping the switch
Is getting old
And anyway, who is she
And how can I say
That I can’t find adequate
Means to stay away
And she’s silent and staring
Just looking at me
Trying to fight
With his gravity
In the den of the house
That used to be mine
But he threw me out
When I took the time
To really study
And explore
The nature of
A solid floor
So I relent, give in
And feel myself swayed
It’s not for loneliness
That this is okayed
And they both turn around
Leave the door open
A little glance back
But I amn’t coping
And freezing I rise
Up to my feet
As I step on the mat
It’s neighbors they greet
And I see the old furniture
I used to know
Step into the light
And let the pain go
Give up on the solitary
Lone expanse
Though it’s been years
Since we thought to dance
And I see there’s a room
At the end of the hall
With a door open
He says it’s yours and all
And I finally know
Come to realise
That they’re living in what
I built for their lives
And all this time
We’re waiting to see
The masterpiece
Foretold by me
In the din, in the quiet
In the subside
I lay down to rest
And close my eyes
To finally know
A slumber that’s real
He didn’t leave me
He just let me feel
All of his peace
So that I could deal
With the moment as
It’s resting long
And my God
I belong!
And she doesn’t hate me
Coz it is cool
I think I may have
Dreamt this in school
So I rub my eyes
Shake myself out
Get rid of the fear
Lose all the doubt
Find the heart
That heats my soul
All is Love
That’s the story I’m told



Photo by Taneli Lahtinen on Unsplash.com

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