If you’re logged in I hope you see The monument You are to me And I’m looking up You’re looking down And babe we could run this town If it was a two by two I’m getting a home ready for you As I make the tea And we find our way when we can’t see And maybe it is wrong To covet the fold But the path you walk Is solid gold As arms wrap around Did you hear the sound Of our silence dear Isn’t the water pretty clear When it’s still in a pond And, no, I amn’t gone Just waiting in the wings And my heart it sings For you, my love You set the fire, I’ll free the dove
I hear the bullet ricochet As you utter truth I’d say I love you But you’re such a brute To give and leave and take away All that had come to stay With me for all of time You say that the fault is mine But I hear the chime Of wind bells on the porch I know I seem out of sorts But it’s just dealing with the loss of you And the trauma of what you put me through Just to prove that you were right You rained Heaven onto a darkened night And I’m still living by candlelight Since the power cut I don’t think I’m in a rut It’s just no one sees me clear And, God knows, I hold you dear But there’s too much storm in the air So I high tailed it outta there And now you’re mad as hell But I never tell You what I really feel Coz I know you cannot deal With the intense focus of my desire And you may be all fire But I am wind and air And it blew you away, me being there And I laugh and you deny That I ever made you cry But sometimes tears fall like rain I know I’ll see you again
Letting go of what he did to me Letting go of what she said Letting go of the nightmares That haunt me troubled in bed Coz I’m living untethered I’m a wildebeest at heart And all I seem to know how to do Is make my pain into art And I paint my own canvas I love the glorious white But the colours of rainbow Make the fire in me ignite And I throw in some earphones It’s punk rock and emo lite I nod to the folks you asked If I was alright And I’ve got fury Burning a candle Maybe I’m just too hot to handle But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars Rules the conduct in the passing of stars And you’ll never be able to touch What is beyond your reach I didn’t come here for students I’m not one who has to teach To live my own compass point It’s been years since the Love anoint Me with its holy Chrism I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him And He brushes my hair out of my face Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste Of what it must be like to live in the realm Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm In the midnight of another sorrow I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow From the sun that gives me life Seems the setting shade gives you twice The morning on replay It’s always bright at the break of day
She’s got it on lock The dark she is not She’s stellar, she’s a star And I wonder what you are As we fight to keep our heads above water Swimming in currents that aim for caught her As we span the ocean in a gaze I wonder how many people she’s saved As she throws a glance like a dagger across the room And I dunno how to work the zoom Function on my camera But I just tie my bandana Red around my head And there have been so many left dead By the dark side of the human psyche I keep wondering what it is that ignite me So I can burn like a fire in the hearts of men Is it going to happen again Or have we turned a corner on life on earth Is there depth to transcend the hurt Or will the storm come to rage once more I knock a rap upon the door Coz I have to be let in I know that there’s something there in him That can spin a dial so right I walk by the light In your window Is it a sin though To see what’s really beating a heart If we abdicate do we take part In the slow drive to floor The ground that crashes to meet us, a stór Or can stars hold space For us as we lay waste To all we’ve known Have the people grown Up and out of a tendency But I feel the collective pull at me To get me to identify But I can’t let the children cry For what we’ve done to them and us Is it a mirror of broken trust That we catch ourselves upon We’re going down but love isn’t gone Not yet or forever Can we be the sky that knows the weather That spins a chrysalis As a diamond kiss The pressure that we’ve known thus far I feel like we can only drive this car A certain length down the road Has our maturity showed As we stand up to the shelter I close my eyes coz this is a belter
Incognito window, I’m under the radar I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar But I know that I can make planets spin With the love that’s inside and the peace within And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees There are no words for the wonder it frees When the weight just drops The what you are’s in the space the love’s got And I am not a mountain but I am not hill I can move power with the strength of will And she never helped me out But I guess that’s just the space in doubt To be forgotten or held so close Do you see through what I love the most Or must I just let it die Not be afraid to spill tears and cry Over what is yet to come And a woman takes away the man’s son What can you do but acquiesce The movement’s in the way you dress And shoulder weight like diamond mines I’d let it go coz it’s fine In the sunshine and the rain I don’t think that I can do this again So I relinquish the right to be wrong And open heart into a song To make it alright again I give up on the world you spin
The sound of you Has echoed through these halls And it’s bringing down barriers And cavernous walls Until all is a grand open space With not one instant of my time gone to waste And I hit pause in 2011 All because the sound of Heaven Was just too damn real And you’re not the boy I want to steal Away with into the night But you came close to it, alright And I spill ink on the canvas I draw I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw In the sunlight you bequeath And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet But you turn my face upward with your palm You look at me and I am calm I’m the storm that surround You are worth the way it resounds And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient I’m an artist and I try to paint it But it never lives up to what you are A feeble try to condense a star Into matter and fusion But it was just confusion To say I don’t love you so And I just want you to know That you crack the glass with your smile And I dream of you for a little while But it is real as can be I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea
Muddy shoes walk all over my floor As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore And it could be Christ the King Or the boy with a broken wing All I know is that the stars announce The girl I was, the one that you denounce As I place one foot in front of another Never knew what it was like to have a brother Who watches my back Just a girl and the attack Was launched on me Fifteen years and I’m still not free Of what she inflicted And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it It just I carry the scar that hurts I blame you for it and what’s worse Is that I make myself suffer for what never was I don’t know gravity because When I was brought down to earth I was in open space and the dirt Is evidence on my coat That I met a Holy Ghost
I unlock my phone And Chocolate opens Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding And you’re too sweet to be believed You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve Only an endless free terrain And I’ve spent years studying your pain From afar And Teresa named a star After me So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see Under ever present heavens We were both born on elevens And so I tick my clock Wondering what it is you’re not In all that you claim to be You were my favorite song to see
Shadow work
I wade through the dirt
That rises in our wake
The sandstorm is so hard to shake
And I filter it down to something simple
You pop it like a pimple
Coz we are One
But we are two
Some Advaita
To soothe you
Into a lull where you will listen
To my hands as the snowdrops glisten
On your skin like stone
Where's twilight when it's at home
But we're no creature and his prey
We're fighting just to get through the day
With our wands and magic paper
You said goodbye and I, see you later
And will tomorrow be too soon
For us to share a room
Coz you move me with a stare
I didn't look but I knew you were there
I could just sense it in the stance
Of a heart which started to dance
At the mere sight of my form
And I feel my cheeks get warm
Knowing that you're just inches away
Are there words to make you stay
Or is everything all up in the air
All I know is that you were there
And so was I
I feel the moment start to die
As a grim realisation overcomes
And my charm just succumbs
To some preordained reality
I never claimed infallibility
Just that I'm here to stay
And stay in love with you too, okay?
One of us comes
The other one goes
I wear the pants
He just knows
And we found love
Where it can dance
Did you take a breath
Or a second chance
On the money
Or off the floor
What is it about love
That we adore
Coz you're summer
I'm winter
We're a cyclical thing
And I know it's real
When I hear the bell ring
And we lift off
The ground is below
The air is free
But do you go
When I open my heart
And pour out my wounds
I didn't think the end
Would come so soon
And you're looking past me
Into the sky
What's it about love
That will neither live nor die
I was something And I could see A new and different version of me And it’s come to pass That I have come to ace the class Of transformation Coz they flick the tv station But the score Is always I want more Than what is But I am His And I found in life A reflection of his beauty In a man and it’s my duty To explain that I See through the body that die Into the effortless supreme I gasped and it woke the dream
Leaving Easter Eggs all over town So someone might find them when they take it down And I may be colossus but summer’s in my veins Though I’ve got to say I’m open to rains As they pour down from the sky There’s something within me that’s not gonna die No matter the seasons or passing of time It is a wondrous crime To look Death in the face And tell him it’s not the time and place To go standing around stores And I’ve always wanted more Than just the simple life I live Why is it so hard to forgive Coz she crushed the flower I held out Now I second guess my own doubt When I’m relying on love To heal all ills But I’m lost in the woods Now I’m taking pills Just to make the trees have leaves And it’s not everything that Truth believes Only solid ground on a pine cone floor Oh, this Earth and all I adore
You showed me the sky It was your own shade of blue And there is a timelessness That lives in you And everyone you touch Is a resonant hum It took me ten years To see you’re the One The One in All The Jesus who stands The love of my life When I’m holding your hands And they’re soft to the touch And gentle and warm Who’d ever have known We’d have kicked up a storm Like dust under feet When the wind blows a tune Something is echoing Now you’re in the room
He’s gotta be cool and he’s gotta be sweet And it’s gotta be fireworks the day that we meet It’s gotta be sunshine, it’s gotta be rain And it’s gotta be turmoil not seeing him again And what if the person I describe is you I wonder would you describe me too If you could put pen to write out a list Second guess what I dismissed As only passing, temporary, soul But it’s like making music at the Super Bowl There’s a crowd there that will cheer And far away seems so near When you are so close Temporal as a Holy Ghost To reach up and touch The man I love so much
I had feelings for you back in the day But then I just used you to explain Darragh away And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping In the recesses of my soul Is there a together in the growing old Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth Find our own way in the dark As he speaks to me Weaving a thread on the tapestry To paint the picture of us And we’ve always had trust Why did you hide your face So I couldn’t keep you in place Where you were Let you run off with an adjacent her In the winter of my life Moored in strife As the cavalry came To take all but my name from me Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in A moment of truth And I can’t claim the auspices of youth Anymore Is that you at my door? Well, for God’s sake come in! You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him
Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream And his words are fuckin’ insane But I still remember his name And the way his hair curls around in locks The way he walks a palace that time forgot And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay? And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said You’re always making your home where you lay your head And find something honest and real and true That was just with them and now it’s with you In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain To be the storm centre, the very eye Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die At least for another fifty or so years Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears And look up to the heavens when the sky clears I drink one to you when I’m having my beers I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law That seems to hold court and company I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee Professing my love to the moon and stars Do you remember the days when it was prison bars And nothing meant anything to anyone you know Now you wave at me as I watch you go With the train that has taken you from the station I guess congrats are in order for the celebration Of all you have earned that is duly yours And I know you could say that this is all words When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes
Finding the balance between this and that And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back And I am loved and I’m secure I’m wading in water but the current is pure And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky Poised between to live and to die And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in And it’s over before it really ever begin It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance Hold out my hand to you to dance And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will Like drinking in water til you have your fill The sunset, the morning, the consuming night I know in the end we’ll all be alright
I don’t want to start a fight I don’t wannna take aim It’s just I catch my breath When I see her name Next to yours instead of mine It walks over me like a thousand times And I know she’s real nice but I would wait Until you trace the hands of fate And saw it bring you to my side In your presence I’m alive And soaring like a bird in flight And I know you might be alright But I’m nothing without you my sweetest babe I don’t even have the room to save Myself from the gnashing of teeth I think I’m stranded on the beach Waiting for my ship to come in And don’t you know it’s always Him No matter what is said to deter And I just wish the best for her Because she kept you close when times were tough And my excuse is simply not enough And I know I was away And you would always say You wanted someone And being too young Is no reason to protest I looked away, you did the rest As the cymbal clattered to the floor And I’ve never wanted anything more Than I want you now But I gotta give space to allow You to have your breathing room I loved you too late after too soon Coz you stride across the hill I look up and still I see you standing there With the wind in your hair And your magnitude Just a really cool dude To open my eyes into I know it’s not enough that you Loved me then before I let you go I’m writing this so you know That your soul has a place beside the embers I warm And you can chill by the heat of the storm And I know it’s really bad form To tell you this now when true love has been born And I see you with her And what we were Is just echoes now in my mind As I’m sad over what I’ve left behind And you say it’s gone But I can hear it in that song You play when you think nobody cares But I look through it all with devil may cares And your silhouette Is not something I could ever forget As the stars Make magical music out of the bars That hold me in If only I could get to him But it’s a futile shot He only sees all that I’m not Nor could be I amn’t she And we Eternity Could never refresh The page easily As a new sky dawns And our youth is almost nearly gone Eaten up by time Like the melody you sang with the line When you didn’t know That you are everywhere I go In college days I find you there in so many ways Just a glance A laugh, a second chance The fear The feeling you close as though you are near In the library But you’re kissing her beside me I just don’t see Til now, at least, an infinity And, love, will you ever know That I stared at you headlong until I go Back to your door Rap a knock like a mini score But you adore The Goddess you found by the shore And I know Though I implore Everything’s settled on the ground floor And foundations deep Underlie all that you intend to keep And just a day A million light years away Can’t convince You to change your mind since I showed up I don’t even know if you could call this love It’s just you’re everything I’m thinking of And the sky Holds nothing to the blue of your eye Black hole deep Full of the light that it will keep From a million stars that throw away Their beams to your frame as you walk away And I Will love you like this til the day that I die And cry That we never got to be As he takes the role of the quintessential he Of my dreams I know it’s not all that it seems And I’m not Einstein But would I be a fool to call you mine In another dimension One without all the surface tension And suspense We climbed out of both of our tents Never knowing what’s in store Where the zip on the line made way for a door And you, effervescent you, just laugh You don’t do things by half Do you And if it means that much to You I will love her too Celebrate the days of you Two down in the park Before I even knew that we start Oh, the longing to be Somewhere near your soliloquy But it just rhymes somewhere in the distance And I give up on the resistance And allow You to live your own life somehow Just know I love you deep like the mountain of snow That rolls down avalanche cloud My voice is shaking but I say it out loud And the words don’t make sense and you’re shouting at me Something about nothing and our history And the lines blur You were always with her In the years And the tears And you see This, you and I, and Infinity
I spent my youth fearing old age Now I’m finally flipping the page And finding out that the aforementioned Is really not in this dimension Because I extend out Far beyond the realms of doubt To the furnace roar and the circumstance Do you know the electrons dance In perpetual motion And nothing can replace devotion In the furthering of things And a million rings Cannot make me replace The love that I came here to taste And just drink in It wasn’t just with him But everyone Everyone the immaculate Son Of Destiny Do you think he thinks of me With his hand on the trigger A rifle to fire But love’s not down low But somewhere higher To take in the vista And one can only say “I missed ya” If you believe the lie People we love cannot die But fly On immutable wings And everything in creation sings Of its unborn nature My love, I could never hate ya
I go down and come back up As cyclical as the sun to rise I’m never lost in rainy weather But it’s under blue skies Coz summer comes and summer goes The seasons change but, God knows, It’s something that remains the same It does not go by any name Nor is it bought by any man A bough holds its weight because it can And I see you In the waves of us two To delineate Something beyond the hate That has us swinging vines Like ten thousand times A Tarzan in the air But, my love, you care I can see it in the avenues The aching arches of the blues You sing to me late at night And I walk on a rope that’s tight Across a cavern steep Do you know how to go to sleep When the light goes out Oh, forget it, just kiss my mouth And we can be as lovers are In union, poles of a star Celestial in its defeat What happenstance made us meet Or preordination The destination Of education At the summit of the pillar Just so you know you didn’t kill her Just made a dent in the facade Grew up through realms of feeling bad Wry consternation You’re on the box so I flip the station Onto some other tune Nevertheless you’re in the room Calling soul What’s a ball to do but roll Down an ungainly hill You call but I never will Attempt to explain all you engender When you say you don’t remember What we were And that it’s the same with her Is this bitterness Or envy in its undress To lay a claim On someone else’s surname What’s a girl to do I let it go and so do you Til we’ve nothing left to leave What you are I can’t believe
Looking for salvation in the stars It’s like trying to round some prison bars As they, adjacent, keep a defense Til you’re hands and knees in the present tense And do I confess My wilderness and impress Some secret subtlety afar Oh, the world, how near you are When you just take a glance At the vulnerable in my stance And I wish away Tomorrow another yesterday Don’t you see That you were the ocean to me And the sea at night Oh, how it glitters in the moonlight To reflect your face Now forever is without a trace Gone from these hands I’m on the shore just pacing sand As you glide effortlessly along another terrain Have all my past lives been in vain To bring me to this A pair of lips that death might kiss Someday or will The power of life to kill All that it breathes air into And consciousness is quintessentially you So you can’t lose it But did I choose it This marching band There’s nothing I have really planned Coz all falls away And what you leave til another day Gets left behind They say I am out of my mind But I think they’re wrong I’m too deep in it and that’s my song Can I hold the tune I did when you walked in the room And my heart hammered against my chest The depth of wisdom that I invest In you to be all you claim Now it’s been years and you’re just a name I click into Tell me did I ever reach you Or was it all just empty talk The way you hold yourself when you walk Like you’ve been punched Something hits you and I can feel the crunch As you double over side to side But hell if I know you’re still alive And kicking me somewhere under the seat Why did heaven have us meet If it was just to part And you are the king of my heart
The desert wasteland of thirty years old Do you believe in everything you’re told Or is all and sundry just something to match Setting fire to your roof of thatch Do we all just fade away into the night Or is there life to eternal ignite And it never struck me that it might be strange That I can see atoms rearrange As they weigh on the bough of a tree Or comes pressing down on me As I lie in my bed at night Before I was born into holy light That flames my spirit to a soar And let me know there’s something more
The Jesus in my soul Is a story I haven’t told Coz He is always there A place of true care And I fell in love with men Hoping I would see Him again In moments silent and true I saw reflections in the eyes of you And you stand tall and look like a hero And I’m on my way to absolute zero And I dig the earth Disregard the waves of hurt In ages pulling hence The present moment’s never in the past tense And He is a forest of trees All you have to do is believe And trust when you’re letting go That he will catch you, you know
Why do I love the thing I hate He spits out; I made him wait And we’re at odds again And he isn’t even my friend Anymore He closed the door So why do I wait outside in the freezing cold Some would say I’m being bold But one thing is the story told Must pave its own way to the forest Am I only being honest Or do I live the lie What it is like to die I ponder it in bed at night Coz the darkness absorbs the light And I’ve slept better since I got this lamp The Himalayan sea salt absorbs the damp That used to make its way into my bones Now I’m split between alternate homes And everywhere I go I fray But I’m really doing okay It’s just this uncertainty Set up like it’s her or me And a just divide is remote I catalogue the things I quote In my phone, in a book, on a ripped page I burn some incense and strike up some sage Until I’m all but zoning out High on lies and all my doubt And tomorrow won’t remember All the hope I felt engender On the cusp of a riverbed What was it that guy said That every dog must have its day But mine is over so I say That I’ll let it be and come what may I’ll leave the grass you made me stay Upon for a moment or two It is an eon this dream of you But the grasp is getting weak And now we don’t even speak And you can’t hold back what won’t cry I am not afraid to die Because I saw through the whole scene And now it’s like I live the dream With two brand new eyes Awakening, the best surprise
She’s been keeping me In her captivity But I, my love, Am born to be free She’s been keeping me In her secret den But I break out Over and over again And it’s not for want Of love nor money It’s just that I Can’t be that, honey Not as hard as I try To contain I’m a cloud that must Come down as rain And I love you In my deepest core It’s just I can’t Hold back anymore This awning gap Within my soul I must let go And be whole Though it doesn’t change My feelings deep It’s just a promise God must to keep To restore me To what I was before There’s a lot In and out of store There’s a lot to be And to know I long to see So I must go Off to that Far distant shore But I’m right here And I’ll always adore Exactly what You are to me Captivity Has been set free
I know people are saying I’m highly strung And there’s all these celebrities dying young And there was a time 27 seemed old Now it’s with the story that’s already been told And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps There’s no telling what’s running off these maps And it was in a moment I just collapse Like the fire of a synapse As it blazes down an avenue Into the room it just walks through And strikes me like a light from above It’s is a kind of redemptive love And it burned away what I couldn’t see So I could live the destiny Right there on the classroom floor As green as the grass I adore And they say it might have just been a fit An epileptic, nothing to do with The glory of the sky Just the taste of what it is to die As I wake up a new girl in the air It was as though He had answered prayer And finally it was there A wisp of wind that told me to care And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies I remember how this always tries To remind me of just what I am And that everything is part of the plan As we grow up into adult moves Bodies that say what they need to prove What they are at the shore But I couldn’t have loved you more And you look at me as though you suspect That there might be trouble coming next Because, God knows, your head is wrecked And it’s everything that it affects But I just bring the smoothest balm To wait in the wings and stay calm And show you what you mean to me Now that the pain is history And you are just a love I teach I’m doing cartwheels on the beach Now that I have your rapt attention But there are days I dare not mention When the tide went out and the water receded It was as though you were all I needed But I saw something in the sky To reflect the blue of your eye And how I know I’m not alone When I hear your voice on the phone And everything you mean to me Comes flooding back like history That you could mean the words you say And that everything might be okay As I finally give in to let the bay Take care of me, come what may
It’s a beautiful Saturday evening Crisp and clean Like you’d be playing football On our field of dreams And I couldn’t reconcile The golden green mile I had to walk Through valleys of talk And ideals ripped asunder Days when my number Was up But love Pushed me through the needle eye Coz it’s not my time to die At least not just yet But I don’t forget Our moment out of time And the instant you were mine I held a holy hand And it was like sand Slipping through my fingers Where are the bringers Of the doom I seem to sense And the forest is dense But I’m all good Pine cone bed in the middle of the wood
The life I swore I wouldn’t live in I just crawled back towards the sin And made a stick house out of lollipop sticks Chew gum and hope that something sticks Coz I’m out in the open when I’m with you I shed my clothes coz you asked me to And in my defense I have none I gave it up for God’s Son And I’m humming mobile as I walk Wonder if I’m just all talk Or does the substance of me Have something to give you for free But you’re all tied up with her Denying everything we ever were And I’m the last one in the club (But I say no to the drug) You just offer up But I can’t call this love Not when you bargain a chip Then say I’m the one with it The last one at the table Look at me if you’re able Coz you drop your eyes Like there is no disguise That could ever keep us apart And I must admit I am all heart When it’s beating for you Don’t walk away just coz I asked you to I’m just scared that’s all (And you are really tall) Could you maybe hold my hand For a moment’s change before the sand Runs out of the hourglass Did I ever tell you you are class!
Imma bounce Like a cat about to pounce Or the people you denounce Coz I just can’t stay still in chains I look up to the sky and it rains Open air and fresh water blues You know the breeze smells of you Like fresh grass or school in the nineties era Kind of scary and I feared ya When you looked deeply into me What is it that you see Coz your eyes are golden And no one would believe me even if I’d told em But you stay still and silent as the grave I never knew my own power to save With my mere presence alone Now you’re just on the other end of a phone And I followed every line you dropped Til the moment when it just stopped And I couldn’t contain the rush Is it now we get to touch Coz we seem separated by a million miles But I could never pay for one of your smiles It radiates like a frequency to burn I swear you make the world turn
I’ve never spoken of my feelings for you And I don’t know why And I’m always scared You’re gonna die Coz I hold you so dear But you’re never near And I don’t think you understand I never had any of this planned And I know you’ve got a life And its unreasonable to think a wife Is what I could be It’s borderline delusional a history But I’ve gotta speak this longing in my heart The reverberations start When you’re near the scene And the fabric of my dream Starts to shimmer Did you use the dimmer Switch coz the light in here Is gone all moody and I fear That I may be for you over again I’m fascinated by other men But you hold this draw Like you’re the rule and the cosmic law Pulls me to your door Don’t you love me anymore?
They walked away from the town they knew And Longford’s not the same without you The streets are grey, the skies are dull And my skin’s as thin as cotton wool And I still remember where we left that day In the car park with nothing to say So I wrapped my arms around your waist But you had to go, make haste And for that whole week I was delirious Shooting hoops so serious I sat on the floor by the kitchen sink And my stomach did flips to barely think Of you somewhere with a phone To reach into my alone And make it two So I can be lonely with you And then I saw you again at the battle of the bands I didn’t know where to place my hands So I ran off to the restroom I knew I had to come out sometime soon And that you would be waiting There’s no hating Just a vague terror for you to see What resides at the heart of me But I stood my ground on a screen Willing to be truly seen Did you feel my soul Reach out across the coal You walk upon I’m not gone But here in the room we know I did not let you go But hold you in my heart so true I stare to say I’ve been waiting for you
We can’t take one moment for granted Nothing’s guaranteed Life ends in death We rely on the blood we bleed To keep the body going I look out the window And the sky is snowing Everything lending itself to another The rain is frozen And I lost a brother In the storm The river flowed I may have taken the less travelled road But it wasn’t for the good of my health And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth Except an inner gratitude And a reliance on the dude That runs the show Is there something I should know Or do I just apt predict So worried that I make myself sick And have to be revolved on medication There’s no point lying about my tv station And if I’m off them for long I start to feel like I don’t belong To even the human race at all I drink it in at the waterfall And run, simply run down the hall Of the institution I became part of Resident of guarded love And I hate but I also care Feel the torment start to tear At the edifice I’ve built I don’t know why but I wilt Under the glare of a heavy sun And I’m always looking for the one Who might make my stars shine bright But the blade became my kryptonite As it etched in stone what my heart would write Only to feel the pull of the tide The breath that means I am alive As I drag my body out of the morass I waken up when I am in class And revive to a certain degree Ten years to know it’s not just me Who feels this way And there needs to be a conversation About what it means to stay And guidance from the ground About the people you always want around Do you hear the triangle ping I let go and give up everything
I’ve got these pair of wings Behind a heart that sings And it spreads out to occupy There’s a part of me that will never die Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite Is it alright If I speak of the moment great When I outgrew the hate But just for an instant and then recede I tell the people but they don’t believe In what I gotta say Is it okay If I tell you a story new Of a room and vibrant blue And I found myself on the floor Drew my first breath and I adore The world I’ve been born into And it’s always been you I wanted to tell Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell And you’ve been by my side for an eon But there’s nothing we seem to agree on But the war we wage Could you understand if I wrote a page In testament to what you are You’re more than a burning star Coz you will never go out And I will give leave to my mouth To speak what I gotta say I love you, is that okay
Is she battered and bruised Or just slightly used Coz I can’t clamber back up Into the heights of our love It’s like something has been locked out And it smacks of my doubt In a crescent moon And is the end coming soon Or do we have time Is it a holy crime To count the days of tomorrow as now Coz life won’t let me somehow It gives me clear directions and tells me write I look up and you’re alright So I dip my quill Let the ink spill And though I never will I paint pictures with the upmost skill Until The bell chimes And we’re full of “I’m fine”s But how are you really And do you feel me Or is it just refraction I’m stifled by my own inaction In the face of war Could you tell me what it’s for Coz I hear the gun ring out And my self doubt Spirals a song Could you tell me what I’m doing wrong? And I feel our humanity But it’s just not up to me As I swim in the stream Against the current and it’s a dream Can I wake up now I’ll hold your hand if you allow So that we both might stir My reflection in the still of her
The fire’s brimming full And I can’t bear the cotton wool They wrap me in Can I begin To become a star Like the way I feel afar When the rain is thundering down And I’m just driving around the town I used to call home And am I all alone Or does she care And do I dare To spill the words Like liquid ink Is it okay to think Whatever I like But, Lord, don’t give her a mic
We’re on the frontier of a new design And it’s not like I can call anything mine As we switch up the fray And while it’s sunny I’m gonna make hay And set it in store Could you wish for anything more Than grain in the barn And those you love safe from harm As the storm rages And I’m furiously writing pages Coz I’ve just got to get this damn thing down Before the ocean rises and we start to drown Because I cannot quell the tide But I can speak while I’m alive
I just want you to know How I feel And when I’m famous You can steal Into these caverns These hallowed halls Separated by spaces And held together by walls And hold a little tome A book that when I was all alone Spoke of you Though it wasn’t because I wanted it to It’s just because it’s true I love the paradigm of you
Slow dancing in the street The moment our heart meet And realise it’s one And the sun Has gone down We’re dancing in the dark of this town And I want you as much as I ever did There’s a part of my soul that’s his As we move to a steady sway And everything is okay With his arms around me It’s kinda like love surround me I’m the midnight of a moment that I share I was happy because you were there
I was just walking home with Daz Wondering about that shine he has And I would’ve asked him up If I thought he’d’ve wanted a cup Of tea to warm our bones Coz we are so far from home Here in this big city And it’s a bit shitty I never told you how I felt Never let on the cards were dealt The first time you smiled at me You know you made me feel pretty And I feel so aged and old But it’s not too late for our story to be told And I wonder how you are Did you find a star To shine as bright as you do And do I still mean something to you?
Back to NY And I’m not even gonna try To put you off Don’t know what’s the cost Of loving, longing, holding you dear And things are crystal clear When it comes to you Don’t you know what I’m gonna do When I get you in my arms Forswear all the folk charms To open to your sunshine soul And you know how things roll You got me in the heart And I just wait for things to start Like they did ten years ago But we’re forever so I don’t need to worry Take your time, babe, there’s no hurry
They gave me some lemons And they were sour But I don’t need to wait Until the eleventh hour To make a change All is mind and rearrange The terraces of fear into love And it fits me like a glove Though I’ve been in the ring with Cassius Clay He taught me to get up after, okay Like I’m some kind of Jedi knight Living for the light As it breaks a new dawn Over all I thought was gone And they held me in a state But I’m not gonna wait To be all I am Everything’s in the plan Of God to be reborn And even in the storm I could find a man to say Everything is okay In eyes, on lock, in the bay And I’m holding back the laughter Because this is such a beautiful disaster And for all intents and purposes I’m the chosen one You don’t have to be a son To be a holy child Oh, the open air and running wild Into fields that are free There is so much more to me Than any of them can see And is St. Pat’s history I left it with my dignity Somewhere among the stars Why did I keep chasing cars Around dean swift Thinking the guys just want a shift As Emmet holds my gaze If he was a hero I bet he’d save Me with his honest and true For a moment I relied on you Let my weight rest on your shoulder No more Lara and her boulder To run from It’s like the fear is gone When you set the scene I’ll remember you when the dream Comes true A smile, and I wink at you
You came so close to the mask I let it slip The moment held And I equip Myself for heartbreak But love’s in every breath I take And should I let you know That I’ll follow where you go So we can be close And the ghost Of the past is flying by We don’t need to try To be everything we are I wish on you like a shooting star
It’s okay You’re safe with me I don’t need to know Your history Just stay in the space Where it is you and I The tornado spins But we’re safe in the eye Of the storm All around You can trust me To hold the sound Of a tuning fork What is that that you retort That I’m not really down But I pause just outside your town To see if you’re in there for real And I would like to steal Away into the night But I’ll settle for knowing you Alright?
You look at the clock I hold my breath Are you gonna leave yet Or are we alright And I told myself It’s better to suffer Than admit That you really love her And she looks my way And I shake She’s in every moment That I choose to wake
Well, what does he think He’s staring a storm And I think that I Would like to keep him warm But there’s pain in his eyes I can see it inflect One wrong move And this whole thing is wrecked
Now it’s burgeoning And the moon is whole I think that we might be connected By the very soul And I’m driving down roads I can’t go back Thinking about the person I seem to lack But really you’re here Breath against skin Though it’s so hard To get a read on him
And she’s everything I could desire Does she know She set my heart on fire And it burns For her still But I don’t know If I ever will Get to Touch her in person And everything else Is just rehearsing
Now it’s palm to palm A namaste kiss I don’t know enough To know what I miss But he’s delicate And fine And I would love To call him mine As we age In separate spheres But I still hold him So very dear
And she’s crashing the waves Upon the shore Does she not Want me anymore Or is this fate Playing a scam She seems to remind me Just who I am And the pillow Where I rest my head Is beside her In an imaginary bed
Are we cocaine lovers A drug then a high It was hello There’s no goodbye When your twin flame calls And I am enthralled As the wall falls It’s destiny and we are walking Telepathy is a kind of talking
Hopping the lines she draws in the sand I look at her and love is grand And it’s all a spectrum really I wonder if she’d ever steal me Away into the night Because she made me feel alright As we talk unto the dawn But it’s been ten years that I’m gone And she laughed out loud at stuff I said Like the man next door might want us dead Or how I had the hots for a young Blair And she had the coolest fuckin’ hair But she’s got a partner now And some beautiful children that life allows To have a mother dear And one thing is crystal clear I had a girl crush on you And I dunno, maybe I still do Though it goes against the grain I turn my face up unto the rain Just to feel the feel of it I sign my name and I quit This effortless game She said happy with her name And she deserves everything she has Showed me I don’t have to be one of the lads I can just be the quiet me A warm jumper and the tea
Is this an artist’s rendering Of unimaginable pain It all came down on me Like thunderous rain And I look afar There was no sign But I’m still so sure Of what was once mine That’s just barely there But still it is I was hers Before I was his And all I do is hide it There are days I can’t abide it But I trudge through the snow Is it wrong to let her know How much I suffered without her And I’m all faith but there are days a doubter Like Thomas and the Saviour It took years to raise her Up from the phoenix and ash I swore I’d be there if you’d ever come back But it’s like using a cane To get around It works but it’s not the exact sound Of the step I used to know And I can’t let go Of all the people I love The ones beside me The ones above The days that close in the evening The team and Don’t Stop Believing In all that you used to be Is there somewhere it is you and me?
I remember the chats I used to have With a certain Shane And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name But he made me feel awesome socks I ran away when the door knocks And it’s him asking to be let in And I just shout over the din Of the silence that resounds Sometimes the quiet is the only sound And he’s too quick to doubt belief I stand listening like a thief That would steal away a word Like it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard And we lost the Americans that day on the bus And our friend is where I place my trust As I lean on her arm for support We’ve always had a kind of rapport Ever since that day in Delphi Where we saw the sheep like an elf we Had a vision of the whole land Washing over the waves like sand And she’s taller than I can believe And cooler than I can thieve Away from the sky Something binds us until we die And I hung out with the engineers And found some moments that life endears Me to all and sundry Just don’t look for sunny on a Monday And she’s the one who told me to scrawl My thoughts on the internet like a graffitied wall And I’ve gotta be grateful to her and all As I jumped up to catch the ball And land with running feet To the place where destiny meet It’s tv on the radio and all I see Is you throwing shapes at me
It was just a random Tuesday I walked back to school There was nothing happening All was cool All was fine And that was the last time I was free of the knowledge that You were gone I haven’t thought about it in so long I came in the gate The sun was shining I wasn’t late And I walked round the corner Met Natalie She looked with crying eyes at me Expecting me to know I panicked as I realized truth Was hitting me again in youth Who? Who? And she let the name go I was reeling with the blow And we passed each other by I stared at the sky All I could think was Where’s my school bag I have to get my stuff Why is it so important What I’m not thinking of And we gathered in the Oratory Like a smashed piece of glass And one of the girls hugged me She sat beside me in class And all I could think of Is you love And I try not to feel The sensation I lean on the others For consolation And I caught my maths teachers eye As my sister fell into my arms to cry And he looked away There was nothing to say Coz how do you deal with it Death, the punch One minute you’re fine Just coming back from lunch Next minute the Chaplain Has us all in a bunch And I didn’t cry The tears wouldn’t come And you were just So young, so young And I shut off my feelings For the next fifteen years Coz I haven’t lost you If I don’t cry the tears And hold it all together But the sky is rainfall And loss is the weather And I try to recall So I won’t forget Every memory of you That’s fresh in my mind yet And what would you say To us all I have the faith That you’re not gone at all But watching over us And blessing the ground That we walk You hear every sound And catch every weep I take tablets to help me to sleep As I fall asunder Is it any wonder But something in me just holds you fast You’re in our hearts so you haven’t really passed And I’m finally opening the doors to talk About the confidence in your walk And the way you just breeze on through I hope that you know I still miss you And that I still feel your light on days I find you in quieter ways As you whisper your love in the moment I break I let it go for God’s sake
Live strong And let the beat hold the song Up where there are no lies From the mutant in disguise And maya does it’s best to capture But you have me in a state of rapture Ringing bells from on high And I am not afraid to die Coz it’s just a veil that we pass through Fr. P said that when we lost you To a sudden and sharp But we’re not alone in the dark We’re held somewhere we can’t contemplate And no one is locked out of that state And I’ve been knocking on the door But it was open and I adore The freedom that has come to reign Like I’ve been kissed by the pain Til all that once held a stain Washed away in sheets of rain That just pour from the sky The ground is nourished when clouds cry So why should I fear my own tears For it has been many years In a silent solitary slumber But the Divine is not going under No matter how I bury my soul Waves only know how to roll
I hide myself away Coz you know I cannot stay But the water pours on through And I find myself back with you As you shyly meet my eye Oh, my darling, what a guy As you rivet me with your storm And I sit back just studying form And I’d really like to know what she think Maybe I’ll ask her over a drink As we both regale the days Before sudden sorrow and power plays And I wish I could confess The joy of a mini dress I’m the summer and the swish Grants the guys a hidden wish But your hand holds more than my heart It’s the soft that makes my soul start And trouble echoes across the plain Has my pain been vain Or does it mean something that I Won’t give in to lie About who I am Can I be part of your plan?
The Poetry Book 