If You’re Logged In

If you’re logged in 
I hope you see
The monument
You are to me
And I’m looking up
You’re looking down
And babe we could run this town
If it was a two by two
I’m getting a home ready for you
As I make the tea
And we find our way when we can’t see
And maybe it is wrong
To covet the fold
But the path you walk
Is solid gold
As arms wrap around
Did you hear the sound
Of our silence dear
Isn’t the water pretty clear
When it’s still in a pond
And, no, I amn’t gone
Just waiting in the wings
And my heart it sings
For you, my love
You set the fire, I’ll free the dove

The Line

I hear the bullet ricochet
As you utter truth
I’d say I love you
But you’re such a brute
To give and leave and take away
All that had come to stay
With me for all of time
You say that the fault is mine
But I hear the chime
Of wind bells on the porch
I know I seem out of sorts
But it’s just dealing with the loss of you
And the trauma of what you put me through
Just to prove that you were right
You rained Heaven onto a darkened night
And I’m still living by candlelight
Since the power cut
I don’t think I’m in a rut
It’s just no one sees me clear
And, God knows, I hold you dear
But there’s too much storm in the air
So I high tailed it outta there
And now you’re mad as hell
But I never tell
You what I really feel
Coz I know you cannot deal
With the intense focus of my desire
And you may be all fire
But I am wind and air
And it blew you away, me being there
And I laugh and you deny
That I ever made you cry
But sometimes tears fall like rain
I know I’ll see you again


Letting go of what he did to me
Letting go of what she said
Letting go of the nightmares
That haunt me troubled in bed
Coz I’m living untethered
I’m a wildebeest at heart
And all I seem to know how to do
Is make my pain into art
And I paint my own canvas
I love the glorious white
But the colours of rainbow
Make the fire in me ignite
And I throw in some earphones
It’s punk rock and emo lite
I nod to the folks you asked
If I was alright
And I’ve got fury
Burning a candle
Maybe I’m just too hot to handle
But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars
Rules the conduct in the passing of stars
And you’ll never be able to touch
What is beyond your reach
I didn’t come here for students
I’m not one who has to teach
To live my own compass point
It’s been years since the Love anoint
Me with its holy Chrism
I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him
And He brushes my hair out of my face
Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste
Of what it must be like to live in the realm
Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm
In the midnight of another sorrow
I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow
From the sun that gives me life
Seems the setting shade gives you twice
The morning on replay
It’s always bright at the break of day

The Girl That Stands On Guard

She’s got it on lock
The dark she is not
She’s stellar, she’s a star
And I wonder what you are
As we fight to keep our heads above water
Swimming in currents that aim for caught her
As we span the ocean in a gaze
I wonder how many people she’s saved
As she throws a glance like a dagger across the room
And I dunno how to work the zoom
Function on my camera
But I just tie my bandana
Red around my head
And there have been so many left dead
By the dark side of the human psyche
I keep wondering what it is that ignite me
So I can burn like a fire in the hearts of men
Is it going to happen again
Or have we turned a corner on life on earth
Is there depth to transcend the hurt
Or will the storm come to rage once more
I knock a rap upon the door
Coz I have to be let in
I know that there’s something there in him
That can spin a dial so right
I walk by the light
In your window
Is it a sin though
To see what’s really beating a heart
If we abdicate do we take part
In the slow drive to floor
The ground that crashes to meet us, a stór
Or can stars hold space
For us as we lay waste
To all we’ve known
Have the people grown
Up and out of a tendency
But I feel the collective pull at me
To get me to identify
But I can’t let the children cry
For what we’ve done to them and us
Is it a mirror of broken trust
That we catch ourselves upon
We’re going down but love isn’t gone
Not yet or forever
Can we be the sky that knows the weather
That spins a chrysalis
As a diamond kiss
The pressure that we’ve known thus far
I feel like we can only drive this car
A certain length down the road
Has our maturity showed
As we stand up to the shelter
I close my eyes coz this is a belter

Incognito Window

Incognito window, I’m under the radar
I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar
But I know that I can make planets spin
With the love that’s inside and the peace within
And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees
There are no words for the wonder it frees
When the weight just drops
The what you are’s in the space the love’s got
And I am not a mountain but I am not hill
I can move power with the strength of will
And she never helped me out
But I guess that’s just the space in doubt
To be forgotten or held so close
Do you see through what I love the most
Or must I just let it die
Not be afraid to spill tears and cry
Over what is yet to come
And a woman takes away the man’s son
What can you do but acquiesce
The movement’s in the way you dress
And shoulder weight like diamond mines
I’d let it go coz it’s fine
In the sunshine and the rain
I don’t think that I can do this again
So I relinquish the right to be wrong
And open heart into a song
To make it alright again
I give up on the world you spin

Echoed Through These Halls

The sound of you
Has echoed through these halls
And it’s bringing down barriers
And cavernous walls
Until all is a grand open space
With not one instant of my time gone to waste
And I hit pause in 2011
All because the sound of Heaven
Was just too damn real
And you’re not the boy I want to steal
Away with into the night
But you came close to it, alright
And I spill ink on the canvas I draw
I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw
In the sunlight you bequeath
And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet
But you turn my face upward with your palm
You look at me and I am calm
I’m the storm that surround
You are worth the way it resounds
And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient
I’m an artist and I try to paint it
But it never lives up to what you are
A feeble try to condense a star
Into matter and fusion
But it was just confusion
To say I don’t love you so
And I just want you to know
That you crack the glass with your smile
And I dream of you for a little while
But it is real as can be
I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea

The Long Walk

Muddy shoes walk all over my floor
As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore
And it could be Christ the King
Or the boy with a broken wing
All I know is that the stars announce
The girl I was, the one that you denounce
As I place one foot in front of another
Never knew what it was like to have a brother
Who watches my back
Just a girl and the attack
Was launched on me
Fifteen years and I’m still not free
Of what she inflicted
And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it
It just I carry the scar that hurts
I blame you for it and what’s worse
Is that I make myself suffer for what never was
I don’t know gravity because
When I was brought down to earth
I was in open space and the dirt
Is evidence on my coat
That I met a Holy Ghost

Opening Hearts

I unlock my phone
And Chocolate opens
Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding
And you’re too sweet to be believed
You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve
Only an endless free terrain
And I’ve spent years studying your pain
From afar
And Teresa named a star
After me
So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see
Under ever present heavens
We were both born on elevens
And so I tick my clock
Wondering what it is you’re not
In all that you claim to be
You were my favorite song to see

Shadow Work

Shadow work
I wade through the dirt
That rises in our wake 
The sandstorm is so hard to shake 
And I filter it down to something simple
You pop it like a pimple 
Coz we are One
But we are two
Some Advaita
To soothe you 
Into a lull where you will listen
To my hands as the snowdrops glisten
On your skin like stone
Where's twilight when it's at home
But we're no creature and his prey
We're fighting just to get through the day
With our wands and magic paper 
You said goodbye and I, see you later
And will tomorrow be too soon
For us to share a room
Coz you move me with a stare
I didn't look but I knew you were there
I could just sense it in the stance
Of a heart which started to dance
At the mere sight of my form
And I feel my cheeks get warm
Knowing that you're just inches away
Are there words to make you stay
Or is everything all up in the air
All I know is that you were there 
And so was I 
I feel the moment start to die
As a grim realisation overcomes
And my charm just succumbs 
To some preordained reality
I never claimed infallibility
Just that I'm here to stay
And stay in love with you too, okay? 

Twin Flame Runner/Chaser Dynamic

One of us comes 
The other one goes
I wear the pants
He just knows
And we found love
Where it can dance
Did you take a breath
Or a second chance
On the money
Or off the floor
What is it about love
That we adore
Coz you're summer
I'm winter
We're a cyclical thing
And I know it's real 
When I hear the bell ring
And we lift off
The ground is below
The air is free
But do you go 
When I open my heart
And pour out my wounds
I didn't think the end
Would come so soon
And you're looking past me
Into the sky
What's it about love
That will neither live nor die

Evolving Into

I was something
And I could see
A new and different version of me
And it’s come to pass
That I have come to ace the class
Of transformation
Coz they flick the tv station
But the score
Is always I want more
Than what is
But I am His
And I found in life
A reflection of his beauty
In a man and it’s my duty
To explain that I
See through the body that die
Into the effortless supreme
I gasped and it woke the dream

Winter Weather And Summertime Seasons

Leaving Easter Eggs all over town
So someone might find them when they take it down
And I may be colossus but summer’s in my veins
Though I’ve got to say I’m open to rains
As they pour down from the sky
There’s something within me that’s not gonna die
No matter the seasons or passing of time
It is a wondrous crime
To look Death in the face
And tell him it’s not the time and place
To go standing around stores
And I’ve always wanted more
Than just the simple life I live
Why is it so hard to forgive
Coz she crushed the flower I held out
Now I second guess my own doubt
When I’m relying on love
To heal all ills
But I’m lost in the woods
Now I’m taking pills
Just to make the trees have leaves
And it’s not everything that Truth believes
Only solid ground on a pine cone floor
Oh, this Earth and all I adore

Your Own

You showed me the sky
It was your own shade of blue
And there is a timelessness
That lives in you
And everyone you touch
Is a resonant hum
It took me ten years
To see you’re the One
The One in All
The Jesus who stands
The love of my life
When I’m holding your hands
And they’re soft to the touch
And gentle and warm
Who’d ever have known
We’d have kicked up a storm
Like dust under feet
When the wind blows a tune
Something is echoing
Now you’re in the room

Man Of My Dreams

Monika Luniak https://pin.it/53bM2WK
He’s gotta be cool and he’s gotta be sweet
And it’s gotta be fireworks the day that we meet
It’s gotta be sunshine, it’s gotta be rain
And it’s gotta be turmoil not seeing him again
And what if the person I describe is you
I wonder would you describe me too
If you could put pen to write out a list
Second guess what I dismissed
As only passing, temporary, soul
But it’s like making music at the Super Bowl
There’s a crowd there that will cheer
And far away seems so near
When you are so close
Temporal as a Holy Ghost
To reach up and touch
The man I love so much

My Secret Escape

I had feelings for you back in the day
But then I just used you to explain Darragh away
And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping
The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping
In the recesses of my soul
Is there a together in the growing old
Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth
Find our own way in the dark
As he speaks to me
Weaving a thread on the tapestry
To paint the picture of us
And we’ve always had trust
Why did you hide your face
So I couldn’t keep you in place
Where you were
Let you run off with an adjacent her
In the winter of my life
Moored in strife
As the cavalry came
To take all but my name from me
Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion
I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in
A moment of truth
And I can’t claim the auspices of youth
Is that you at my door?
Well, for God’s sake come in!
You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him

Here I Come

Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene
I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream
And his words are fuckin’ insane
But I still remember his name
And the way his hair curls around in locks
The way he walks a palace that time forgot
And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day
At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay?
And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said
You’re always making your home where you lay your head
And find something honest and real and true
That was just with them and now it’s with you
In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain
I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain
To be the storm centre, the very eye
Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die
At least for another fifty or so years
Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears
And look up to the heavens when the sky clears
I drink one to you when I’m having my beers
I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw
When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law
That seems to hold court and company
I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee
Professing my love to the moon and stars
Do you remember the days when it was prison bars
And nothing meant anything to anyone you know
Now you wave at me as I watch you go
With the train that has taken you from the station
I guess congrats are in order for the celebration
Of all you have earned that is duly yours
And I know you could say that this is all words
When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps
Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps
And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you
You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new
Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew
You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue
So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes
And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes

Finding The Balance

Finding the balance between this and that
And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back
And I am loved and I’m secure
I’m wading in water but the current is pure
And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky
Poised between to live and to die
And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in
And it’s over before it really ever begin
It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance
Hold out my hand to you to dance
And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will
Like drinking in water til you have your fill
The sunset, the morning, the consuming night
I know in the end we’ll all be alright


I don’t want to start a fight
I don’t wannna take aim
It’s just I catch my breath
When I see her name
Next to yours instead of mine
It walks over me like a thousand times
And I know she’s real nice but I would wait
Until you trace the hands of fate
And saw it bring you to my side
In your presence I’m alive
And soaring like a bird in flight
And I know you might be alright
But I’m nothing without you my sweetest babe
I don’t even have the room to save
Myself from the gnashing of teeth
I think I’m stranded on the beach
Waiting for my ship to come in
And don’t you know it’s always Him
No matter what is said to deter
And I just wish the best for her
Because she kept you close when times were tough
And my excuse is simply not enough
And I know I was away
And you would always say
You wanted someone
And being too young
Is no reason to protest
I looked away, you did the rest
As the cymbal clattered to the floor
And I’ve never wanted anything more
Than I want you now
But I gotta give space to allow
You to have your breathing room
I loved you too late after too soon
Coz you stride across the hill
I look up and still
I see you standing there
With the wind in your hair
And your magnitude
Just a really cool dude
To open my eyes into
I know it’s not enough that you
Loved me then before I let you go
I’m writing this so you know
That your soul has a place beside the embers I warm
And you can chill by the heat of the storm
And I know it’s really bad form
To tell you this now when true love has been born
And I see you with her
And what we were
Is just echoes now in my mind
As I’m sad over what I’ve left behind
And you say it’s gone
But I can hear it in that song
You play when you think nobody cares
But I look through it all with devil may cares
And your silhouette
Is not something I could ever forget
As the stars
Make magical music out of the bars
That hold me in
If only I could get to him
But it’s a futile shot
He only sees all that I’m not
Nor could be
I amn’t she
And we
Could never refresh
The page easily
As a new sky dawns
And our youth is almost nearly gone
Eaten up by time
Like the melody you sang with the line
When you didn’t know
That you are everywhere I go
In college days
I find you there in so many ways
Just a glance
A laugh, a second chance
The fear
The feeling you close as though you are near
In the library
But you’re kissing her beside me
I just don’t see
Til now, at least, an infinity
And, love, will you ever know
That I stared at you headlong until I go
Back to your door
Rap a knock like a mini score
But you adore
The Goddess you found by the shore
And I know
Though I implore
Everything’s settled on the ground floor
And foundations deep
Underlie all that you intend to keep
And just a day
A million light years away
Can’t convince
You to change your mind since
I showed up
I don’t even know if you could call this love
It’s just you’re everything I’m thinking of
And the sky
Holds nothing to the blue of your eye
Black hole deep
Full of the light that it will keep
From a million stars that throw away
Their beams to your frame as you walk away
And I
Will love you like this til the day that I die
And cry
That we never got to be
As he takes the role of the quintessential he
Of my dreams
I know it’s not all that it seems
And I’m not Einstein
But would I be a fool to call you mine
In another dimension
One without all the surface tension
And suspense
We climbed out of both of our tents
Never knowing what’s in store
Where the zip on the line made way for a door
And you, effervescent you, just laugh
You don’t do things by half
Do you
And if it means that much to
You I will love her too
Celebrate the days of you
Two down in the park
Before I even knew that we start
Oh, the longing to be
Somewhere near your soliloquy
But it just rhymes somewhere in the distance
And I give up on the resistance
And allow
You to live your own life somehow
Just know
I love you deep like the mountain of snow
That rolls down avalanche cloud
My voice is shaking but I say it out loud
And the words don’t make sense and you’re shouting at me
Something about nothing and our history
And the lines blur
You were always with her
In the years
And the tears
And you see
This, you and I, and Infinity


I spent my youth fearing old age
Now I’m finally flipping the page
And finding out that the aforementioned
Is really not in this dimension
Because I extend out
Far beyond the realms of doubt
To the furnace roar and the circumstance
Do you know the electrons dance
In perpetual motion
And nothing can replace devotion
In the furthering of things
And a million rings
Cannot make me replace
The love that I came here to taste
And just drink in
It wasn’t just with him
But everyone
Everyone the immaculate Son
Of Destiny
Do you think he thinks of me
With his hand on the trigger
A rifle to fire
But love’s not down low
But somewhere higher
To take in the vista
And one can only say “I missed ya”
If you believe the lie
People we love cannot die
But fly
On immutable wings
And everything in creation sings
Of its unborn nature
My love, I could never hate ya

As Cyclical As The Sun

I go down and come back up
As cyclical as the sun to rise
I’m never lost in rainy weather
But it’s under blue skies
Coz summer comes and summer goes
The seasons change but, God knows,
It’s something that remains the same
It does not go by any name
Nor is it bought by any man
A bough holds its weight because it can
And I see you
In the waves of us two
To delineate
Something beyond the hate
That has us swinging vines
Like ten thousand times
A Tarzan in the air
But, my love, you care
I can see it in the avenues
The aching arches of the blues
You sing to me late at night
And I walk on a rope that’s tight
Across a cavern steep
Do you know how to go to sleep
When the light goes out
Oh, forget it, just kiss my mouth
And we can be as lovers are
In union, poles of a star
Celestial in its defeat
What happenstance made us meet
Or preordination
The destination
Of education
At the summit of the pillar
Just so you know you didn’t kill her
Just made a dent in the facade
Grew up through realms of feeling bad
Wry consternation
You’re on the box so I flip the station
Onto some other tune
Nevertheless you’re in the room
Calling soul
What’s a ball to do but roll
Down an ungainly hill
You call but I never will
Attempt to explain all you engender
When you say you don’t remember
What we were
And that it’s the same with her
Is this bitterness
Or envy in its undress
To lay a claim
On someone else’s surname
What’s a girl to do
I let it go and so do you
Til we’ve nothing left to leave
What you are I can’t believe

Salvation In The Stars

Looking for salvation in the stars
It’s like trying to round some prison bars
As they, adjacent, keep a defense
Til you’re hands and knees in the present tense
And do I confess
My wilderness and impress
Some secret subtlety afar
Oh, the world, how near you are
When you just take a glance
At the vulnerable in my stance
And I wish away
Tomorrow another yesterday
Don’t you see
That you were the ocean to me
And the sea at night
Oh, how it glitters in the moonlight
To reflect your face
Now forever is without a trace
Gone from these hands
I’m on the shore just pacing sand
As you glide effortlessly along another terrain
Have all my past lives been in vain
To bring me to this
A pair of lips that death might kiss
Someday or will
The power of life to kill
All that it breathes air into
And consciousness is quintessentially you
So you can’t lose it
But did I choose it
This marching band
There’s nothing I have really planned
Coz all falls away
And what you leave til another day
Gets left behind
They say I am out of my mind
But I think they’re wrong
I’m too deep in it and that’s my song
Can I hold the tune
I did when you walked in the room
And my heart hammered against my chest
The depth of wisdom that I invest
In you to be all you claim
Now it’s been years and you’re just a name
I click into
Tell me did I ever reach you
Or was it all just empty talk
The way you hold yourself when you walk
Like you’ve been punched
Something hits you and I can feel the crunch
As you double over side to side
But hell if I know you’re still alive
And kicking me somewhere under the seat
Why did heaven have us meet
If it was just to part
And you are the king of my heart

Photo: https://pin.it/6Sji9R9

The Desert Wasteland

The desert wasteland of thirty years old
Do you believe in everything you’re told
Or is all and sundry just something to match
Setting fire to your roof of thatch
Do we all just fade away into the night
Or is there life to eternal ignite
And it never struck me that it might be strange
That I can see atoms rearrange
As they weigh on the bough of a tree
Or comes pressing down on me
As I lie in my bed at night
Before I was born into holy light
That flames my spirit to a soar
And let me know there’s something more

Photo: https://pin.it/UYewd1R

The Jesus In My Soul

The Jesus in my soul
Is a story I haven’t told
Coz He is always there
A place of true care
And I fell in love with men
Hoping I would see Him again
In moments silent and true
I saw reflections in the eyes of you
And you stand tall and look like a hero
And I’m on my way to absolute zero
And I dig the earth
Disregard the waves of hurt
In ages pulling hence
The present moment’s never in the past tense
And He is a forest of trees
All you have to do is believe
And trust when you’re letting go
That he will catch you, you know

Photo Credit: Yongsung Kim https://pin.it/2z5FILz

Himalayan Sea Salt

Why do I love the thing I hate
He spits out; I made him wait
And we’re at odds again
And he isn’t even my friend
He closed the door
So why do I wait outside in the freezing cold
Some would say I’m being bold
But one thing is the story told
Must pave its own way to the forest
Am I only being honest
Or do I live the lie
What it is like to die
I ponder it in bed at night
Coz the darkness absorbs the light
And I’ve slept better since I got this lamp
The Himalayan sea salt absorbs the damp
That used to make its way into my bones
Now I’m split between alternate homes
And everywhere I go I fray
But I’m really doing okay
It’s just this uncertainty
Set up like it’s her or me
And a just divide is remote
I catalogue the things I quote
In my phone, in a book, on a ripped page
I burn some incense and strike up some sage
Until I’m all but zoning out
High on lies and all my doubt
And tomorrow won’t remember
All the hope I felt engender
On the cusp of a riverbed
What was it that guy said
That every dog must have its day
But mine is over so I say
That I’ll let it be and come what may
I’ll leave the grass you made me stay
Upon for a moment or two
It is an eon this dream of you
But the grasp is getting weak
And now we don’t even speak
And you can’t hold back what won’t cry
I am not afraid to die
Because I saw through the whole scene
And now it’s like I live the dream
With two brand new eyes
Awakening, the best surprise

Photo: https://pin.it/QVzUMVJ

In Her Captivity

She’s been keeping me
In her captivity
But I, my love,
Am born to be free
She’s been keeping me
In her secret den
But I break out
Over and over again
And it’s not for want
Of love nor money
It’s just that I
Can’t be that, honey
Not as hard as I try
To contain
I’m a cloud that must
Come down as rain
And I love you
In my deepest core
It’s just I can’t
Hold back anymore
This awning gap
Within my soul
I must let go
And be whole
Though it doesn’t change
My feelings deep
It’s just a promise
God must to keep
To restore me
To what I was before
There’s a lot
In and out of store
There’s a lot to be
And to know
I long to see
So I must go
Off to that
Far distant shore
But I’m right here
And I’ll always adore
Exactly what
You are to me
Has been set free


A Meandering Escapade

I know people are saying I’m highly strung
And there’s all these celebrities dying young
And there was a time 27 seemed old
Now it’s with the story that’s already been told
And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps
There’s no telling what’s running off these maps
And it was in a moment I just collapse
Like the fire of a synapse
As it blazes down an avenue
Into the room it just walks through
And strikes me like a light from above
It’s is a kind of redemptive love
And it burned away what I couldn’t see
So I could live the destiny
Right there on the classroom floor
As green as the grass I adore
And they say it might have just been a fit
An epileptic, nothing to do with
The glory of the sky
Just the taste of what it is to die
As I wake up a new girl in the air
It was as though He had answered prayer
And finally it was there
A wisp of wind that told me to care
And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies
I remember how this always tries
To remind me of just what I am
And that everything is part of the plan
As we grow up into adult moves
Bodies that say what they need to prove
What they are at the shore
But I couldn’t have loved you more
And you look at me as though you suspect
That there might be trouble coming next
Because, God knows, your head is wrecked
And it’s everything that it affects
But I just bring the smoothest balm
To wait in the wings and stay calm
And show you what you mean to me
Now that the pain is history
And you are just a love I teach
I’m doing cartwheels on the beach
Now that I have your rapt attention
But there are days I dare not mention
When the tide went out and the water receded
It was as though you were all I needed
But I saw something in the sky
To reflect the blue of your eye
And how I know I’m not alone
When I hear your voice on the phone
And everything you mean to me
Comes flooding back like history
That you could mean the words you say
And that everything might be okay
As I finally give in to let the bay
Take care of me, come what may

The Soundtrack To Me

It’s a beautiful Saturday evening
Crisp and clean
Like you’d be playing football
On our field of dreams
And I couldn’t reconcile
The golden green mile
I had to walk
Through valleys of talk
And ideals ripped asunder
Days when my number
Was up
But love
Pushed me through the needle eye
Coz it’s not my time to die
At least not just yet
But I don’t forget
Our moment out of time
And the instant you were mine
I held a holy hand
And it was like sand
Slipping through my fingers
Where are the bringers
Of the doom I seem to sense
And the forest is dense
But I’m all good
Pine cone bed in the middle of the wood


The life I swore I wouldn’t live in
I just crawled back towards the sin
And made a stick house out of lollipop sticks
Chew gum and hope that something sticks
Coz I’m out in the open when I’m with you
I shed my clothes coz you asked me to
And in my defense I have none
I gave it up for God’s Son
And I’m humming mobile as I walk
Wonder if I’m just all talk
Or does the substance of me
Have something to give you for free
But you’re all tied up with her
Denying everything we ever were
And I’m the last one in the club
(But I say no to the drug)
You just offer up
But I can’t call this love
Not when you bargain a chip
Then say I’m the one with it
The last one at the table
Look at me if you’re able
Coz you drop your eyes
Like there is no disguise
That could ever keep us apart
And I must admit I am all heart
When it’s beating for you
Don’t walk away just coz I asked you to
I’m just scared that’s all
(And you are really tall)
Could you maybe hold my hand
For a moment’s change before the sand
Runs out of the hourglass
Did I ever tell you you are class!


Imma bounce
Like a cat about to pounce
Or the people you denounce
Coz I just can’t stay still in chains
I look up to the sky and it rains
Open air and fresh water blues
You know the breeze smells of you
Like fresh grass or school in the nineties era
Kind of scary and I feared ya
When you looked deeply into me
What is it that you see
Coz your eyes are golden
And no one would believe me even if I’d told em
But you stay still and silent as the grave
I never knew my own power to save
With my mere presence alone
Now you’re just on the other end of a phone
And I followed every line you dropped
Til the moment when it just stopped
And I couldn’t contain the rush
Is it now we get to touch
Coz we seem separated by a million miles
But I could never pay for one of your smiles
It radiates like a frequency to burn
I swear you make the world turn


I’ve never spoken of my feelings for you
And I don’t know why
And I’m always scared
You’re gonna die
Coz I hold you so dear
But you’re never near
And I don’t think you understand
I never had any of this planned
And I know you’ve got a life
And its unreasonable to think a wife
Is what I could be
It’s borderline delusional a history
But I’ve gotta speak this longing in my heart
The reverberations start
When you’re near the scene
And the fabric of my dream
Starts to shimmer
Did you use the dimmer
Switch coz the light in here
Is gone all moody and I fear
That I may be for you over again
I’m fascinated by other men
But you hold this draw
Like you’re the rule and the cosmic law
Pulls me to your door
Don’t you love me anymore?

Battle Of The Bands

They walked away from the town they knew
And Longford’s not the same without you
The streets are grey, the skies are dull
And my skin’s as thin as cotton wool
And I still remember where we left that day
In the car park with nothing to say
So I wrapped my arms around your waist
But you had to go, make haste
And for that whole week I was delirious
Shooting hoops so serious
I sat on the floor by the kitchen sink
And my stomach did flips to barely think
Of you somewhere with a phone
To reach into my alone
And make it two
So I can be lonely with you
And then I saw you again at the battle of the bands
I didn’t know where to place my hands
So I ran off to the restroom
I knew I had to come out sometime soon
And that you would be waiting
There’s no hating
Just a vague terror for you to see
What resides at the heart of me
But I stood my ground on a screen
Willing to be truly seen
Did you feel my soul
Reach out across the coal
You walk upon
I’m not gone
But here in the room we know
I did not let you go
But hold you in my heart so true
I stare to say I’ve been waiting for you

One Moment For Granted

We can’t take one moment for granted
Nothing’s guaranteed
Life ends in death
We rely on the blood we bleed
To keep the body going
I look out the window
And the sky is snowing
Everything lending itself to another
The rain is frozen
And I lost a brother
In the storm
The river flowed
I may have taken the less travelled road
But it wasn’t for the good of my health
And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth
Except an inner gratitude
And a reliance on the dude
That runs the show
Is there something I should know
Or do I just apt predict
So worried that I make myself sick
And have to be revolved on medication
There’s no point lying about my tv station
And if I’m off them for long
I start to feel like I don’t belong
To even the human race at all
I drink it in at the waterfall
And run, simply run down the hall
Of the institution I became part of
Resident of guarded love
And I hate but I also care
Feel the torment start to tear
At the edifice I’ve built
I don’t know why but I wilt
Under the glare of a heavy sun
And I’m always looking for the one
Who might make my stars shine bright
But the blade became my kryptonite
As it etched in stone what my heart would write
Only to feel the pull of the tide
The breath that means I am alive
As I drag my body out of the morass
I waken up when I am in class
And revive to a certain degree
Ten years to know it’s not just me
Who feels this way
And there needs to be a conversation
About what it means to stay
And guidance from the ground
About the people you always want around
Do you hear the triangle ping
I let go and give up everything


I’ve got these pair of wings
Behind a heart that sings
And it spreads out to occupy
There’s a part of me that will never die
Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite
Is it alright
If I speak of the moment great
When I outgrew the hate
But just for an instant and then recede
I tell the people but they don’t believe
In what I gotta say
Is it okay
If I tell you a story new
Of a room and vibrant blue
And I found myself on the floor
Drew my first breath and I adore
The world I’ve been born into
And it’s always been you
I wanted to tell
Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell
And you’ve been by my side for an eon
But there’s nothing we seem to agree on
But the war we wage
Could you understand if I wrote a page
In testament to what you are
You’re more than a burning star
Coz you will never go out
And I will give leave to my mouth
To speak what I gotta say
I love you, is that okay

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/6Sh0cnx

Battered And Bruised

Is she battered and bruised
Or just slightly used
Coz I can’t clamber back up
Into the heights of our love
It’s like something has been locked out
And it smacks of my doubt
In a crescent moon
And is the end coming soon
Or do we have time
Is it a holy crime
To count the days of tomorrow as now
Coz life won’t let me somehow
It gives me clear directions and tells me write
I look up and you’re alright
So I dip my quill
Let the ink spill
And though I never will
I paint pictures with the upmost skill
The bell chimes
And we’re full of “I’m fine”s
But how are you really
And do you feel me
Or is it just refraction
I’m stifled by my own inaction
In the face of war
Could you tell me what it’s for
Coz I hear the gun ring out
And my self doubt
Spirals a song
Could you tell me what I’m doing wrong?
And I feel our humanity
But it’s just not up to me
As I swim in the stream
Against the current and it’s a dream
Can I wake up now
I’ll hold your hand if you allow
So that we both might stir
My reflection in the still of her

Fire Brimming Full

The fire’s brimming full
And I can’t bear the cotton wool
They wrap me in
Can I begin
To become a star
Like the way I feel afar
When the rain is thundering down
And I’m just driving around the town
I used to call home
And am I all alone
Or does she care
And do I dare
To spill the words
Like liquid ink
Is it okay to think
Whatever I like
But, Lord, don’t give her a mic

Speaking Now (While I Have The Chance)

We’re on the frontier of a new design
And it’s not like I can call anything mine
As we switch up the fray
And while it’s sunny I’m gonna make hay
And set it in store
Could you wish for anything more
Than grain in the barn
And those you love safe from harm
As the storm rages
And I’m furiously writing pages
Coz I’ve just got to get this damn thing down
Before the ocean rises and we start to drown
Because I cannot quell the tide
But I can speak while I’m alive

Just Want You To Know

I just want you to know
How I feel
And when I’m famous
You can steal
Into these caverns
These hallowed halls
Separated by spaces
And held together by walls
And hold a little tome
A book that when I was all alone
Spoke of you
Though it wasn’t because I wanted it to
It’s just because it’s true
I love the paradigm of you

Just This

Slow dancing in the street
The moment our heart meet
And realise it’s one
And the sun
Has gone down
We’re dancing in the dark of this town
And I want you as much as I ever did
There’s a part of my soul that’s his
As we move to a steady sway
And everything is okay
With his arms around me
It’s kinda like love surround me
I’m the midnight of a moment that I share
I was happy because you were there


I was just walking home with Daz
Wondering about that shine he has
And I would’ve asked him up
If I thought he’d’ve wanted a cup
Of tea to warm our bones
Coz we are so far from home
Here in this big city
And it’s a bit shitty
I never told you how I felt
Never let on the cards were dealt
The first time you smiled at me
You know you made me feel pretty
And I feel so aged and old
But it’s not too late for our story to be told
And I wonder how you are
Did you find a star
To shine as bright as you do
And do I still mean something to you?

Back To NY

Back to NY 
And I’m not even gonna try
To put you off
Don’t know what’s the cost
Of loving, longing, holding you dear
And things are crystal clear
When it comes to you
Don’t you know what I’m gonna do
When I get you in my arms
Forswear all the folk charms
To open to your sunshine soul
And you know how things roll
You got me in the heart
And I just wait for things to start
Like they did ten years ago
But we’re forever so
I don’t need to worry
Take your time, babe, there’s no hurry


They gave me some lemons
And they were sour
But I don’t need to wait
Until the eleventh hour
To make a change
All is mind and rearrange
The terraces of fear into love
And it fits me like a glove
Though I’ve been in the ring with Cassius Clay
He taught me to get up after, okay
Like I’m some kind of Jedi knight
Living for the light
As it breaks a new dawn
Over all I thought was gone
And they held me in a state
But I’m not gonna wait
To be all I am
Everything’s in the plan
Of God to be reborn
And even in the storm
I could find a man to say
Everything is okay
In eyes, on lock, in the bay
And I’m holding back the laughter
Because this is such a beautiful disaster
And for all intents and purposes I’m the chosen one
You don’t have to be a son
To be a holy child
Oh, the open air and running wild
Into fields that are free
There is so much more to me
Than any of them can see
And is St. Pat’s history
I left it with my dignity
Somewhere among the stars
Why did I keep chasing cars
Around dean swift
Thinking the guys just want a shift
As Emmet holds my gaze
If he was a hero I bet he’d save
Me with his honest and true
For a moment I relied on you
Let my weight rest on your shoulder
No more Lara and her boulder
To run from
It’s like the fear is gone
When you set the scene
I’ll remember you when the dream
Comes true
A smile, and I wink at you

Closer Than One

You came so close to the mask
I let it slip
The moment held
And I equip
Myself for heartbreak
But love’s in every breath I take
And should I let you know
That I’ll follow where you go
So we can be close
And the ghost
Of the past is flying by
We don’t need to try
To be everything we are
I wish on you like a shooting star

With Me

It’s okay
You’re safe with me
I don’t need to know
Your history
Just stay in the space
Where it is you and I
The tornado spins
But we’re safe in the eye
Of the storm
All around
You can trust me
To hold the sound
Of a tuning fork
What is that that you retort
That I’m not really down
But I pause just outside your town
To see if you’re in there for real
And I would like to steal
Away into the night
But I’ll settle for knowing you


You look at the clock
I hold my breath
Are you gonna leave yet
Or are we alright
And I told myself
It’s better to suffer
Than admit
That you really love her
And she looks my way
And I shake
She’s in every moment
That I choose to wake

Well, what does he think
He’s staring a storm
And I think that I
Would like to keep him warm
But there’s pain in his eyes
I can see it inflect
One wrong move
And this whole thing is wrecked

Now it’s burgeoning
And the moon is whole
I think that we might be connected
By the very soul
And I’m driving down roads
I can’t go back
Thinking about the person
I seem to lack
But really you’re here
Breath against skin
Though it’s so hard
To get a read on him

And she’s everything
I could desire
Does she know
She set my heart on fire
And it burns
For her still
But I don’t know
If I ever will
Get to
Touch her in person
And everything else
Is just rehearsing

Now it’s palm to palm
A namaste kiss
I don’t know enough
To know what I miss
But he’s delicate
And fine
And I would love
To call him mine
As we age
In separate spheres
But I still hold him
So very dear

And she’s crashing the waves
Upon the shore
Does she not
Want me anymore
Or is this fate
Playing a scam
She seems to remind me
Just who I am
And the pillow
Where I rest my head
Is beside her
In an imaginary bed

Are we cocaine lovers
A drug then a high
It was hello
There’s no goodbye
When your twin flame calls
And I am enthralled
As the wall falls
It’s destiny and we are walking

Telepathy is a kind of talking

Zen On A Dublin Bus

Hopping the lines she draws in the sand
I look at her and love is grand
And it’s all a spectrum really
I wonder if she’d ever steal me
Away into the night
Because she made me feel alright
As we talk unto the dawn
But it’s been ten years that I’m gone
And she laughed out loud at stuff I said
Like the man next door might want us dead
Or how I had the hots for a young Blair
And she had the coolest fuckin’ hair
But she’s got a partner now
And some beautiful children that life allows
To have a mother dear
And one thing is crystal clear
I had a girl crush on you
And I dunno, maybe I still do
Though it goes against the grain
I turn my face up unto the rain
Just to feel the feel of it
I sign my name and I quit
This effortless game
She said happy with her name
And she deserves everything she has
Showed me I don’t have to be one of the lads
I can just be the quiet me
A warm jumper and the tea

Key Under The Mat

Is this an artist’s rendering
Of unimaginable pain
It all came down on me
Like thunderous rain
And I look afar
There was no sign
But I’m still so sure
Of what was once mine
That’s just barely there
But still it is
I was hers
Before I was his
And all I do is hide it
There are days I can’t abide it
But I trudge through the snow
Is it wrong to let her know
How much I suffered without her
And I’m all faith but there are days a doubter
Like Thomas and the Saviour
It took years to raise her
Up from the phoenix and ash
I swore I’d be there if you’d ever come back
But it’s like using a cane
To get around
It works but it’s not the exact sound
Of the step I used to know
And I can’t let go
Of all the people I love
The ones beside me
The ones above
The days that close in the evening
The team and Don’t Stop Believing
In all that you used to be
Is there somewhere it is you and me?


I remember the chats I used to have
With a certain Shane
And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name
But he made me feel awesome socks
I ran away when the door knocks
And it’s him asking to be let in
And I just shout over the din
Of the silence that resounds
Sometimes the quiet is the only sound
And he’s too quick to doubt belief
I stand listening like a thief
That would steal away a word
Like it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard
And we lost the Americans that day on the bus
And our friend is where I place my trust
As I lean on her arm for support
We’ve always had a kind of rapport
Ever since that day in Delphi
Where we saw the sheep like an elf we
Had a vision of the whole land
Washing over the waves like sand
And she’s taller than I can believe
And cooler than I can thieve
Away from the sky
Something binds us until we die
And I hung out with the engineers
And found some moments that life endears
Me to all and sundry
Just don’t look for sunny on a Monday
And she’s the one who told me to scrawl
My thoughts on the internet like a graffitied wall
And I’ve gotta be grateful to her and all
As I jumped up to catch the ball
And land with running feet
To the place where destiny meet
It’s tv on the radio and all I see
Is you throwing shapes at me

If I Could Then I Would

It was just a random Tuesday
I walked back to school
There was nothing happening
All was cool
All was fine
And that was the last time
I was free of the knowledge that
You were gone
I haven’t thought about it in so long
I came in the gate
The sun was shining
I wasn’t late
And I walked round the corner
Met Natalie
She looked with crying eyes at me
Expecting me to know
I panicked as I realized truth
Was hitting me again in youth
Who? Who?
And she let the name go
I was reeling with the blow
And we passed each other by
I stared at the sky
All I could think was
Where’s my school bag
I have to get my stuff
Why is it so important
What I’m not thinking of
And we gathered in the Oratory
Like a smashed piece of glass
And one of the girls hugged me
She sat beside me in class
And all I could think of
Is you love
And I try not to feel
The sensation
I lean on the others
For consolation
And I caught my maths teachers eye
As my sister fell into my arms to cry
And he looked away
There was nothing to say
Coz how do you deal with it
Death, the punch
One minute you’re fine
Just coming back from lunch
Next minute the Chaplain
Has us all in a bunch
And I didn’t cry
The tears wouldn’t come
And you were just
So young, so young
And I shut off my feelings
For the next fifteen years
Coz I haven’t lost you
If I don’t cry the tears
And hold it all together
But the sky is rainfall
And loss is the weather
And I try to recall
So I won’t forget
Every memory of you
That’s fresh in my mind yet
And what would you say
To us all
I have the faith
That you’re not gone at all
But watching over us
And blessing the ground
That we walk
You hear every sound
And catch every weep
I take tablets to help me to sleep
As I fall asunder
Is it any wonder
But something in me just holds you fast
You’re in our hearts so you haven’t really passed
And I’m finally opening the doors to talk
About the confidence in your walk
And the way you just breeze on through
I hope that you know I still miss you
And that I still feel your light on days
I find you in quieter ways
As you whisper your love in the moment I break
I let it go for God’s sake


Live strong
And let the beat hold the song
Up where there are no lies
From the mutant in disguise
And maya does it’s best to capture
But you have me in a state of rapture
Ringing bells from on high
And I am not afraid to die
Coz it’s just a veil that we pass through
Fr. P said that when we lost you
To a sudden and sharp
But we’re not alone in the dark
We’re held somewhere we can’t contemplate
And no one is locked out of that state
And I’ve been knocking on the door
But it was open and I adore
The freedom that has come to reign
Like I’ve been kissed by the pain
Til all that once held a stain
Washed away in sheets of rain
That just pour from the sky
The ground is nourished when clouds cry
So why should I fear my own tears
For it has been many years
In a silent solitary slumber
But the Divine is not going under
No matter how I bury my soul
Waves only know how to roll

Better Than I Ever Was

I hide myself away
Coz you know I cannot stay
But the water pours on through
And I find myself back with you
As you shyly meet my eye
Oh, my darling, what a guy
As you rivet me with your storm
And I sit back just studying form
And I’d really like to know what she think
Maybe I’ll ask her over a drink
As we both regale the days
Before sudden sorrow and power plays
And I wish I could confess
The joy of a mini dress
I’m the summer and the swish
Grants the guys a hidden wish
But your hand holds more than my heart
It’s the soft that makes my soul start
And trouble echoes across the plain
Has my pain been vain
Or does it mean something that I
Won’t give in to lie
About who I am
Can I be part of your plan?