The fear of something harboured
Scratches at my skin
If I fight it
It just gets in
So I try to act unconcerned
But the feeling, like fire, it burned
And it's been this way since I was a child
Running through summers like I was wild
Or when I walked down the hall
Touching three times each side of the wall
And they diagnosed me with OCD
Til I broke free at twenty three
But the monument crashed
And I ended up in the place where the drugs were stashed
And everyone that I love says to just go down
But I can't run that side of town
So I try to find a way
Until, eventually, I'm not okay
And give in
Was it all coz I loved him
I wonder to myself
What does it matter about mental health
It's what they say
That I deserve a brighter day
But I'm just fine with the evening hue
The way the purple melts into blue
And, look, you can see the stars
Your walls are only prison bars
And set nobody free
I know because it happened to me
As I stalked the halls of St. Patrick's Hospital
Remembering the core that is vital
And I chat with Barry
But I don't think he's the dream I want to marry
And I'm submerged
The worlds converged
And I was caught in between
The crosshairs of someone else's dream
As I find a paper on the couch
If only there was someone who would vouch
For me
But there's only my dignity
To speak for what I stand
And I don't really like what they have planned
They say psychosis, I say reveal
They say unwell but it's something I steal
Into then creep out again
And I was down with the coolest men
Like Emmett with his pen
And clipboard making sure he sees where I am
And he said "Oh, there you are" when we almost collided
Between a pane of glass you and I are divided
And he is something sweet
And if it was somewhere else that we meet
I'd bet we'd hit it off
I was counting every cough
As though they were signal fires
I scream out; "ye're all a bunch of liars"
Coz I can't get my point across
All I can think of is all I've lost