It was years
Since I stopped believing
I opened the door
And along came Stephen
He reminded me
With his casual eyes
That even a stranger
Can see through disguise
And all of the advances
I couldn't stop making
Were held in suspense
With the breath I was taking
And it was ancient
Yes it was old
But this was a story
That's never been told
That's always been waiting
In the wings
I know it's a bird
Because, my Lord, it sings
And reverberates
Without any doubt
Can I trust the words
That pour from my mouth
And herald a new dawn
One that's bursting forth
And the river is free
Though it runs its course
And brings it back
To rain in the sky
I wonder do you
Know it's a lie
When I look away
From your brief glance
It was heaven
It was happenstance
It was a moment
And it was soul
He blinked his eyes
And the waves roll
Do I set diagrams spiraling out into the wind
And is to be alive to say I have sinned
Coz there's all of this perfect I won't get to be
I'm just clearing my eyes so I can really see
And what does the lens do to the light
It focuses it on the retina, right?
Then the brain turns the picture the right way round
Like the way it interprets sound
And do you ever wonder about the mystery we are
How the atoms inside us are the same as a star
And we have galaxies within our soul
It's only the body that's getting old
All my life I've been standing on the stairs
No putting on graces, I'm not putting on airs
I'm not trying to be better than I've become
I'm just opening up and letting the One
Move through me like a river to sea
I don't know where I'm going or what I'll be
All I know is I feel the pull
And the longing start to dull
As it unfolds unto a new expanse
I watch the whole world start to dance
To the music of a perfect refrain
It's being lifted out of the pain
It is being called at the edge of the circle
On the rock we call Earth as it begins to hurtle
Through the density of time-space
And you can see through the dreams that you chase
As you find yourself back in the same old place
Believe and relive the burden you face
He's got a smile in his eyes
It's like a diamond I try on for size
As everything fits in a perfect whole
And he is speaking directly to soul
Directly to Immortal Being
There is no end to this seeing
To the avalanche of earth
That goes beyond the ways of hurt
That goes beyond the depths of feeling
It's shattering the glass ceiling
That keeps us all beneath the sky
He whispers truths and I don't know why
But they call to something deep within
It goes beyond the realm of sin
Beyond the doubt of discourse
Love is an insurmountable force
And knows no bounds and knows no end
It's everything that it will mend
So that we all face the sun
If you're looking for it, well you're the One
The rain pours on me
It's like a deluge
As I find a place
Where I can take refuge
Where I can be safe
And I can be serene
Not always threatened
By what I dream
And I love always
And I love long
And I want love to be
The heart of my song
As I play it for you
The whole of creation
It's a little bit sad
But filled with elation
Filled with the expanse
Of the whole Universe
Though my sorrow has made me
A little bit terse
But I give it the full
Of all that I've got
And you must know
I love you a lot
With all that I am
With all I'll ever be
I let the chains go
And find I am free
I love so much
I feel I will burst
This feeling courses
Through the very worst
Through all of the liking
And ticking the box
I find I am open
Without any locks
And it just moves its own way
In a flow, in a beat
And I find I am standing
On my own two feet
As I build on foundations
Solid as a rock
Am I okay?
Well, is the sun hot
Just like my heart
In rhythms it's own
I may not be adult
But I am grown
I believe in the sky
To conquer the weather
And there are ways
To see through forever
To make it one
Under the rain
Say you'll never go back
To that place again
But you find the door
Ready to be knocked
You don't try the handle
Coz you know it is locked
But you hope and have faith
Trust and believe
In the strength you
Have always found underneath
To sail your ship
Once more through the storm
You can't see the sun
But still it is warm
And you know and you'll be
You'll love and create
Til you open your eyes
And walk out of that state
And find the dawn
That follows dusk
It doesn't take much
Just a little trust
As you resolve and know
Revolve and be
In all of this
Your wings are free
I'm building a home
Out of all that I've seen
And there are ways
To wake from the dream
To give up the long fight
With yourself and the sky
We move and we walk
But we never know why
And life, it is changing
But it's always the same
You were born on this Earth
Without a name
To grow and to learn
To thrive and to be
Always yourself
Quintessentially free
Am I misunderstood
There was a time
They all thought I was good
And had trophies lined up
For me to wear
I stand up
And the fabric tear
Til I'm reeling in dreams
Colossal and huge
It's like I asked for rain
And there came a deluge
To bucket down
On top of me
But fuck it, it's
All I got to be
And there's no point complaining
About my share of the deal
Oceans are weather
And it's the way that I feel
To finally come home
To who I am
I move in life
Without a plan
Comparison and judgement
Destroy the soul
They make you
Prematurely old
They only serve
To dim your light
Just surrender
Give up the fight
And come back
To a place called home
Know that you
Are never alone
But always supported
From the ground up
The Universe
Is built on love
I've got a destiny
I can feel it in my bones
And it has something to do
With saving people's homes
With finding a diagram
That will fit the screen
I have to make reality
Out of the thing I dream
And the stories I tell
Myself quietly at night
There has to be a way
To make the world alright
To cause and effect
And point out the tune
And I am not alone
When I'm sitting in my room
When I'm sitting by myself
To ponder life as real
There has to be more
Than the way we cut the deal
The cosmic mind
Knows what it's doing
It points out dreams
That are worth pursuing
And I'm so lost
In the creases and folds
But it breaks a sunrise
Across the sky it holds
And the horizon
Is burning red
Til I can't remember
Where I've been led
Out into the warmth
Of a new day
I'm trusting in it
Anyway
What is the impact
Of my unemployment
Could I more than say
I don't know where the ploy went
Coz I've up and grown
And true colours have shown
But I still say
I don't know where I'm going
Does a river when it's moving
Imagine the sea
It's like a premature
Deciding who to be
As an oak grows upwards
From a single seed
And there are things
That we all need
From the sky to the sun
To the rain in the clouds
How many human beings
Can say that they're proud
Of the life that they're living
Of who they are
The atoms inside us
Were forged within a star
So know this once
And know it forever
You are the beauty
The cosmos will treasure
Every day of your life
In the depths of your soul
Don't stop at okay
Go ahead and be whole
The sound of Taylor
Brewing up a storm
The heat could keep
The whole world warm
As she sings
To her own refrain
Growing up
And out of the pain
Into something
Afresh and anew
I guess that I
Believe in you
It's not that easy
All this having to let you go
I didn't think
I'd have to do it, you know
I thought we could
Go on forever
But now every endeavour
Speaks of you
As you go on with your life
And ardent devotion over strife
Seems to capture my days
And there are so many ways
To miss what we had
And to regret
What turned out bad
Could you forgive
If I live and let live
And consent
To being the presence
Where heaven went
Is it worth all the time
All this losing weight
All the giving in
And shedding hate
Because time has come
For our true Self
To be revealed
As nothing else
Than that we've
Been searching for
Knock and the door
Opens from the inside out
I'm not the words
That come from my mouth
Listening to Snow Patrol
Rock the beat
And Gary Lightbody
Fast on his feet
To an uproaring tumult
Is this what it means to be adult
Still listening to music in my room
Then doing yoga via zoom
Or on youtube
Finding new seas
That I traverse
Like never be's
I write about no one
And nothing agrees
I am split level
I've got my degrees
And if you ask a question
Who is to answer
Love is the way
And life is the dancer
To a new song
To a new word
And it's like the best
Sound you've ever heard
But this poem's just a tribute
It's not the real thing
You know it when
You give up on this fling
That you've been caught in
That you've been living
And God is peaceful
He is forgiving
So don't walk away
From all you own
Just listen to your heart
As true colours are shown
As light and love
Break through and bask
All you ever have to do
Is ask
Someday I'll be a wife
But I woke up in the night
To discover it isn't to be
And there's this emptiness surrounding me
And it moves
And it breathes
And it gives me
What I need
As I ache
And pilfer dreams
They're not really
True it seems
Image Credit: Samuel Ferrara on Unsplash.com
The weight of worldly wisdom
Lies on me
And there is something
I used to be
But the far distant shore
Has pulled me in like a tide
Now I'm three quarters half alive
Learning to breathe in from my roots
As this plant grows shoots
Up into the open air
I could've sworn that he was there
Image Credit: Johann Siemens on Unsplash.com
It was like a new dawn
The day the sun broke
And I'd come apart
Inside my own hope
Building a home
Out of tinder and wood
I'd run with the wind
But I'm not sure I could
Be anything but still
In the glen, in the field
I gave up the game
I gave in to yield
And something in the forest
Then was revealed
It was like smoky chimneys
Now the flavour is sealed
As I wander pathways
That lead through the trees
And life is more
Than what is believed
Than what is restored
To ardent love
A devotion to Truth
That shines from above
It's all I can do not to blame him
And Lord, you know, I cannot tame him
With my heart all made of fire
And his way of raising it higher
With the wind as it blows in
And did we ever begin
Trying to get closer
Then further away
You know I couldn't say
All that I meant to you on the phone
You're in the room and I am alone
But bring me some water and flowers to dry
I said okay with a tear in my eye
And you, everlasting you
Just smile
As you hold my hand
We were meant to be
It wasn't planned
And I laugh
At your inanity
Remember that time
You just ran at me
Down silky, silver snowy days
And I've been with you in so many ways
But still aloft
I held your eyes at no cost
Though my own benefit
Be unharmed
I wouldn't settle for any charms
But love
In twinkly starlit nights
And you beside me and alright
Oh love, what are we meant to do
We're in a dream and I choose you
Only to wake
With sheets in my hand
There's none of this that I had planned
I don't want to monetize you
In case you lose your value
You're riverbeds and open skies
And i would never want to dull you
Down into the grey refinity of age
Where words upon words just write the page
Into existence, then out again
I could write about life, then love, then men
But you, oh imperturbable you
I could never capture you within the walls of this cage
And you make the beast inside of me rage
Against the machine that is holding it down
You're an ocean and in it I drown
Only to discover my mermaid nature
If not now, can I save you for later?
The day it all dropped down by my side
Is the day I truly came alive
And there was nothing there
Just empty air
Nothing with the will to get by
And I just basked in the vastness of the sky
I wasn't big and I sure wasn't small
Only aware of it all
And perceiving
Something that was
Beyond believing
And beyond reason in its perfect hue
There's nothing there I have to do
Only make waves to lap the shore
And give in to worship all I adore
And once again, once more
I let go to open the door
The weather moves in its own way
And, Lord knows, it wasn't meant to stay
But be free flowing and in motion
Like some kind of locomotion
And all I can do is just agree
Consent to It using me
To achieve its own aim
This life is free
But it's not a game
Not cheap to buy
Or sell the ticket
Neither calm
Nor there to trick it
But only abiding in one way
I love you and that's what it says
There is thunder in my footsteps
And rhythm in my feet
I’m like the shore lapping
Where the waters meet
And every day’s a sigh
And every week I utter
The same old words
Against the window shutter
And the house it creaks and groans
With every passing wind
The pain in my bones
A sign that I have sinned
And winter knows my name
It comes howling in
Only to give way
To let spring begin
And summer has its sound
And autumn its flavour
And every moment’s like a taste
That I give in to savour
As every month rolls round
To make another year
As I let go of all the lies
And am freed from the fear
I love you far and deeply
And the wall curves so steeply
It can't keep me out from you
Because I know what you want to do
As you walk me to the door
And I couldn't want you more
With my hand on the locket you gave me
I didn't ask but would you save me
All the trouble and all the time
Be the best one of mine
Because I have written a time or two
But none of them is anything to you
As you smile and you laugh
And you just hang out in my gaff
With my little sister playing games
You were one of my five names
And I didn't know there was a choice
But I gave my love a voice
As it sang to it's own refrain
Can we promise not to cause each other pain
But we know that there are hearts in this
And it wasn't fake, our first kiss
Out there on the track
I thought there was a way back
But in all I hid from you
You were there, and I saw it too
I've always been a romantic
And so dramatic, it's true
But I could never
Have dreamt up you
Coz you're so distinguished
So refined
And you kinda stole
All of my time
With your genuine
And your reflect
I didn't see you coming
Couldn't predict next
But only hold
Onto your sleeve
You know you made
Me believe
And I'm a cynic
And jaded too
But it falls apart
Around you
Like the walls I built
To hide myself
You get right in
Like no one else
Like no one can
Like no one does
I'm defenceless
And I call it love
Coz there's no sign
Of separation
I stared you out
At the train station
And you ran
You ran way
But there's so much
Still left to say
And if you would
Just hear me out
You'd know what it is
I'm about
But all this empty
Space won't do
I've got to find me
In front of you
And if you could
Would you erase the years
I never meant to cost you
Any tears
Never meant to cause you
Any strain
But with things like this
There's often pain
And I would smile
And hold your hand
Tell you that
I'll all be grand
I'd tell you that
My love is true
And I wish the world
Of the best for you
