The Fire And The Ash

Oh my fight, the burning fire
But I get old, I get tired
And I get weary of the day
If I tell the truth is that okay
As insurmountable may be
The leaves you’re shaking off the tree
In this autumn weather
But I found honey amongst the heather
To drink in deep and consume
There’s more than air in this room
There’s more than space we traverse
There’s more than words to converse
As everything becomes a screaming sky
And I am not afraid to die
Just walk this path to blaze a trail
Know in truth I cannot fail
To live up to be all that I am
I’ve got to say I’ve got no plan
Just an amiable sort of meander
Unbridled honesty and candour
That lives and breathes and moves as being
There is no real telling what’s for seeing
Except the open vast expanse
As I watch the lilies dance
In the air than animates
The breath that bates the one you take
To be part of dynamism
Refracting a spectacular prism
As all my colours dissipate
Am I bold enough to call this fate


The Waiting Air

In a place where the cold seems waiting
Left in love, don’t give way to hating
As the scenery revolve
And everything is a problem to solve
As you, ashen faced, stare at me
And I avoid your gaze coz I know we’ll be
Always an eternity
Forever lapping like the sea
Against the shore
Could you wish for more
You open up like a closed door


The Obvious Within The Dream

The pain is where the river flows
And I dunno, it’s like anything goes
As I grapple with the notion of sin
And all it was with him
Like forgiveness, unconditional
So much more than ritual
As I kneel before the altar
Bless myself with holy water
And pray that it’s enough to say
I love you deeply in every way
Can you ever forgive my crime
And call yourself your almost mine
Coz I cannot cross the line in the sand
Just coz I want you to be my man
I cannot endeavor to futilely try
Because the truth is we all die
As I casually interrupt
The story that you’re calling love
With my own flair of tigress’ brand
I’ve gotta admit I had it all planned
Every moment down to detail
Go shopping but avoid the retail
Therapy they buy and sell
To have a doctor say that I’m not well
And have a man stare in my eyes
In the land of empty tries
And I could hear screams in that place
Traumatized by all I laid waste
As I listened to somebody cry
Down the hall and I don’t know why
Could it be the vale of torment
Or a place I almost went
As I lay the phone on the table
Get up if you think you’re able
But I cannot even manage a smile
Over the days I walked a mile
Back and forth to pace the floor
All criminals that I adore
Suffering in a hall
Bounded by a door and wall
And they have to buzz you out and in
Only for Barry to flash a grin
Like all’s to hell in fabrication
Another kind of education
In how to walk a tightrope line
If I did it at all I took my time
Steadying the beat of my heart
Trying to make pain into art
As someone, lying, contradicts
But her words are not stones and sticks
To batter down a casual thought
Are you all that you have bought
Or do you just give way
Yield to the break of day
And find that there is somewhere peace
A moment when the noise cease
Only to point at the scream
The obvious within the dream


The Foundation

A permanent doubt in the foundation
It cracked at the onset of my education
And I dressed myself each day
But something had gone away
And I try to function and be strong
But all I wondered is where I went wrong
To be so fragile and weak
A sensitive I cannot speak
As I try to hold it all together
But you cannot ignore the weather
As it blows in a storm
At least the heat keeps you warm


Songs In Another Sky

All the terrible ways to die
Are songs in another sky
And I keep on hearing them repeat, repeat
There’s nails in his hands and feet
And I love my Jesus
But I don’t understand
Why death could be something
God has planned
Yet it’s something which
We must all go through
Loss is all I know
From the beginning of you
Like grass growing to be mown
The secrets that I’ve never shown

The Desert Wasteland

The desert wasteland of thirty years old
Do you believe in everything you’re told
Or is all and sundry just something to match
Setting fire to your roof of thatch
Do we all just fade away into the night
Or is there life to eternal ignite
And it never struck me that it might be strange
That I can see atoms rearrange
As they weigh on the bough of a tree
Or comes pressing down on me
As I lie in my bed at night
Before I was born into holy light
That flames my spirit to a soar
And let me know there’s something more


The Jesus In My Soul

The Jesus in my soul
Is a story I haven’t told
Coz He is always there
A place of true care
And I fell in love with men
Hoping I would see Him again
In moments silent and true
I saw reflections in the eyes of you
And you stand tall and look like a hero
And I’m on my way to absolute zero
And I dig the earth
Disregard the waves of hurt
In ages pulling hence
The present moment’s never in the past tense
And He is a forest of trees
All you have to do is believe
And trust when you’re letting go
That he will catch you, you know

Photo Credit: Yongsung Kim

Himalayan Sea Salt

Why do I love the thing I hate
He spits out; I made him wait
And we’re at odds again
And he isn’t even my friend
He closed the door
So why do I wait outside in the freezing cold
Some would say I’m being bold
But one thing is the story told
Must pave its own way to the forest
Am I only being honest
Or do I live the lie
What it is like to die
I ponder it in bed at night
Coz the darkness absorbs the light
And I’ve slept better since I got this lamp
The Himalayan sea salt absorbs the damp
That used to make its way into my bones
Now I’m split between alternate homes
And everywhere I go I fray
But I’m really doing okay
It’s just this uncertainty
Set up like it’s her or me
And a just divide is remote
I catalogue the things I quote
In my phone, in a book, on a ripped page
I burn some incense and strike up some sage
Until I’m all but zoning out
High on lies and all my doubt
And tomorrow won’t remember
All the hope I felt engender
On the cusp of a riverbed
What was it that guy said
That every dog must have its day
But mine is over so I say
That I’ll let it be and come what may
I’ll leave the grass you made me stay
Upon for a moment or two
It is an eon this dream of you
But the grasp is getting weak
And now we don’t even speak
And you can’t hold back what won’t cry
I am not afraid to die
Because I saw through the whole scene
And now it’s like I live the dream
With two brand new eyes
Awakening, the best surprise


In Her Captivity

She’s been keeping me
In her captivity
But I, my love,
Am born to be free
She’s been keeping me
In her secret den
But I break out
Over and over again
And it’s not for want
Of love nor money
It’s just that I
Can’t be that, honey
Not as hard as I try
To contain
I’m a cloud that must
Come down as rain
And I love you
In my deepest core
It’s just I can’t
Hold back anymore
This awning gap
Within my soul
I must let go
And be whole
Though it doesn’t change
My feelings deep
It’s just a promise
God must to keep
To restore me
To what I was before
There’s a lot
In and out of store
There’s a lot to be
And to know
I long to see
So I must go
Off to that
Far distant shore
But I’m right here
And I’ll always adore
Exactly what
You are to me
Has been set free


The Myth of Myself

The myth of myself
I rivet the dawn
And make preparations
For when it is all gone
Coz it won’t last forever
This person that I’ve made
You only know the sun
When you’re standing in the shade
You only know the midnight
Because come the dawn
You wake up to the instant
That you truly belong

The Little Things

It’s not the poignant moments that make me cry
It’s contemplating that we all die
And you can never keep the sand
That just slips out of your hand
Like it’s an hourglass you flip
Though you’re not in control of it
And everyone you love will age
Like rumpled quilts on a stilted page
Is it more than mere grief
I let it out and there’s relief
But more of thunder and a river held back
But you can’t dam the thing you lack
Only ache for a better day
I let you know coz I love you, okay?

A Meandering Escapade

I know people are saying I’m highly strung
And there’s all these celebrities dying young
And there was a time 27 seemed old
Now it’s with the story that’s already been told
And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps
There’s no telling what’s running off these maps
And it was in a moment I just collapse
Like the fire of a synapse
As it blazes down an avenue
Into the room it just walks through
And strikes me like a light from above
It’s is a kind of redemptive love
And it burned away what I couldn’t see
So I could live the destiny
Right there on the classroom floor
As green as the grass I adore
And they say it might have just been a fit
An epileptic, nothing to do with
The glory of the sky
Just the taste of what it is to die
As I wake up a new girl in the air
It was as though He had answered prayer
And finally it was there
A wisp of wind that told me to care
And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies
I remember how this always tries
To remind me of just what I am
And that everything is part of the plan
As we grow up into adult moves
Bodies that say what they need to prove
What they are at the shore
But I couldn’t have loved you more
And you look at me as though you suspect
That there might be trouble coming next
Because, God knows, your head is wrecked
And it’s everything that it affects
But I just bring the smoothest balm
To wait in the wings and stay calm
And show you what you mean to me
Now that the pain is history
And you are just a love I teach
I’m doing cartwheels on the beach
Now that I have your rapt attention
But there are days I dare not mention
When the tide went out and the water receded
It was as though you were all I needed
But I saw something in the sky
To reflect the blue of your eye
And how I know I’m not alone
When I hear your voice on the phone
And everything you mean to me
Comes flooding back like history
That you could mean the words you say
And that everything might be okay
As I finally give in to let the bay
Take care of me, come what may


She took a swipe
To take me down
But I rise from the dead
Of solid ground
And it was a challenge
But it made me strong
I’m walking across this battlefield
So how could it be wrong
As I transcend the pain
That fell on me like rain
And I know I’m not going back there again
But I’m still waiting for I dunno when
Coz she was fun
And she was nice
Til she turned around
And looked twice
At everything that seemed to be
And tried to lay waste to me
But I’ve got two souls
Who share a heart
And there’s a something in me
That you can’t even try to pull apart
And I know you must suffer
Coz how could you not love her
When she gives it all to you
But I pulled back coz I needed to
Show you where the boundary lay
And tell you it’s not okay
Coz you say such mean things to me
Though I won’t forsake my integrity
And it’s been nigh on twenty years
But I’m not crying silent tears
Over the mess we made
I’m just reclining in the shade
Of a glorious sun
Knots are bound to be undone

Taking The Scene

She made a run for the dash
A finish line of I want cash
And it was as though I was the bank
No one there you gotta thank
And she drew from me the ebb and the flow
Til I conceded to let her go
And it was not without reservation
But I’m not tuned to that tv station
And really sad could be a description
But it wasn’t I who forced the eviction
As she moved my hand to sign the ink
The sign on the wall said “think”
And I fell apart in the ruins of us
It was as though I couldn’t trust
Even my step to hold firm
And I know there are things to learn
But you had me in close by the soul
Til you told me that you don’t roll
With the punches like I do
And I have to
Accept that you
Are distancing and space in between
What was summer is now just a dream
I had at fifteen
I let you go and leave the scene

Photo: Chad Greiter on

The Great Prophetress

The Great Prophetress knows what’s coming
Like she sees the leak when you’re doing the plumbing
And all of the ages cannot contain
The deluge of water that comes down as rain
And we’re all just swimming
But who’s winning
In the forest we made of the din
There are games people play that no one will win
Pressure makes rocks
Into diamonds
There are Everests
But do you climb them

The Fire That Burns In Your Eyes

The fire that burns in your eyes
Leaves me no defense or disguise
As you ardently profess
That I look better than I guess
But she’s everything I’ll never be
Like I’m the ocean, she’s the sea
And the moment takes too long
You be casual, I’ll be strong
And run my fingers through my hair
All I know is you were there
Sitting by the pond under a Maigh Nuad sky
And I’m the one who’s not afraid to die
And I try
To meet your eyes
But you look away, look down
And I’ve walked the hallways of that town
Where you are now
Like you said you’d be
And I’d spent years
In the city
Trying to exclaim
He’s just a name
It’s not the same
But your sullen gaze
Is still the one thing that I save
From those years ago
I shouldn’t have second guessed, I know
But you’re too kind
To ever occupy my mind
In the way you do
On purpose too
And your sleight of hand
Has me wondering where’s that band
You always said you’d be
But you’re still the rhythm to me
And I ask the Lord, my deity
To please let me see
The colour in those eyes
One more time beyond the lies
Or for forever in the sky
Like a star I’m getting high
On the looks you send in my direction
And if it’s really natural selection
How did it know to pick you
I gave my heart to him too
And I cry aloud
You are everything I am about
In the dewy air
I know coz I was there
It was real, a dream come true
And I’m always meaning you
In your fervent tries
This is the land of no goodbyes
Coz I feel you in my heart
We stand still and not apart
But soaking in the atmospheric rain
Do I get to see you again
And hold your hands and kiss your lips
Just so you know it’s an eclipse
Whenever you are near
And there’s one thing that I fear
That I don’t really know you, dear
Only your musings on the wall
Is this love or not at all?
Coz you’ve got a woman by your side
And all I ever do is hide
The way I really feel
Because I cannot deal
With cracking open in the sun
Crying out, well he’s the one
And I know we are still young
And there’s songs yet to be sung
But do you kiss and touch her hair
Does she look up, is she aware
Of just how tall you reach
Like a branch I could not keep
Holding mistletoe or spring
And I gave it everything
But maybe too much is little now
Now, that you’ve found your way somehow
Out of the thistles and the briars
Away from chasms of desire
Into arms that know you well
She loves you deeply, I can tell
And I’m just not up to fight
When I know she’d win alright
And have you hold her by the line
While I cry the thousandth time
To see you in her arms
All sashay and easy charms
And you inflect
How generously you do reject
Everything that cannot be
I turn away, you’re all I see
And in the midnight of the moment
I see that my heart is opened
And lets you go so generous
No flame to burn the temptress
But only nod and salute
I love you beautiful and cute
And wish you well and know you’ll be
An eternity to me
While she looks up to know
There is a place she cannot go
Somewhere we know all too well
And like the truth you never tell
Like a promise that you keep
Does she watch you while you sleep
And see rivers run terrain
Over the magnitude again
And I know we’ll be
Halfway between a history
And a myth that’s yet to wake
I stay away for both our sake
So you could never seek to find
A reason for your troubled mind
So you could rest in your chair
Know that love’s really there
In the slope or on the straight
The one thing you don’t have to wait
To find on open seas
But could you let go of me please
If you do not wish to find
Exactly what is on my mind
In days of yore and yet to come
She could be your only one
If I don’t interfere
But I’ll always love you, dear
And paint you sideways to refrain
And I hear that laugh again
Resounding from sides that ache
There’s nothing I can do to make
You see my side is true
And that part of me’s with you
On the sidewalk that you beat
How I love those blessed feet
That walk in time with me
For a moment, Infinity


Your eyes are like the ark
The creatures enter two feet apart
And I make sure to keep away from you
Because I think you don’t love me too
But maybe you do
And I’m out on a limb, I guess, it’s true
And we fought and we shouted and I hit you back
But you’ll always be my favorite almanac
And I’m still knocking on your door
You answer me and ask for more
And we kiss on the step
Because she doesn’t know yet
But you’re gonna tell her or I will
I’m not waiting forever until
We can make it two by two
And you’ve got a different look, do you
Still feel the same
And I always hide your name
Coz I don’t want to lay the blame
For what we were
Or give you an excuse to fight with her
But it’ll be okay
Coz at the end of the day
The love will keep everything okay
And somehow in the midnight I excuse myself
For playing cards that have already been dealt
And one is mine and I fold
I don’t abscond the way you bold

The Quiet

He has the eyes I need in my life
But I dunno he might already have a wife
With your shy smile
If I hold your hand could we walk a mile
In each other’s shoes
And the birds seem to come in two’s
As they soar through the air
Could we really be present there
In the avenue
Everything about this moment is new
And you remind me of him
If you knocked I think I’d let you in
And open the door
Be there if you wanted more
Waves lapping the shore
You’re the kind of quiet I adore

The Branches That Bow

We’re all fine
Til those in power take a spin
On the wheel of fortune
Where no one wins
And set the dial
Spiraling like we’re on trial
And winters last
Long past the soldiers that have marched
In time with the beat
Do you think they own their own feet
Or do they just borrow
Them from all the sorrow
To be loyal to
The movement that is flowing through
Will we be saved
From all the tomes that have aged
With the weight of passing time
Before was born in light divine
Will the wonder speak
Or is humanity as yet too weak
To set a steady step
Out on the branch of no regret
Will the leaves blow
On the place we will never go
Oh, what to make of the world of men
Is the fighting done
Wake up to the inner sun
And know
That there are places the dark can’t go
But weave a thread
We’re not born to be dead
But eternally free
Look inside and you will see

The Hut At The End Of The Hill

I needed a place to stay
I asked and you turned me away
Running so fast from all we’ve been
Is it that the monsters dream
To find themselves in mine
And I did some time
In the hut at the end of the hill
And it wasn’t with the power of my own will
But sunshine
Warms the grass and I am fine
As I sit with Mary Jean
Teaching me to knit the seam
On the scarf I will wear
But there’s holes in it I didn’t tear
And I wonder about the free
If they have anything in common with me
When the lock clicks
And you’re let out of all the bricks
They build to house your strength
I’m shaking now, dunno where it went
As they all assure
Me that I am pure
And steadfast
And that this day’s not gonna last
But the night gives way
To pull apart what they may say
Into a new dawn
And there’s nothing of me that’s really gone
As I stand up on my two feet
Be the place the waters meet
Beyond those walls
Looking down empty halls
For someone to come in
But I was waylaid looking for him
And gave up on the storm that I am
But I’m still resting in God’s palm
And he never makes a fist
Only opens it
So I can see
A whole span of infinity
Ever spiraling forth
And it may not be a front porch
Or two broad open doors
But it’s a start
I still flame and I’ve got heart
And no nonchalant can take that away
Don’t believe what the people say


He’s sexy as fuck
When he holds me with that look
And his hair is long
His quiet is the way he’s strong
And he doesn’t point the way, he leads
And like the strongest of us, he bleeds
But it’s fire in his soul
The caverns in the way waves roll
To echo his might
His music makes me feel alright
When I’m lost down a hall
But I’m moving and that is all
That can be inferred
He would love me with a word
Or a single syllable
The world with you in it is full

Rock On

Do I just find an adequate bargain
Get lost in all this Commerce jargon
Let myself be tied down
By someone I don’t even want around
Try to fulfill the projection
Shut down the love and make a selection
As a husband, be a wife
But shur, looket, that’s a sight
And I’d rather dance for my sins
Be the one who always begins
To see what’s free as a bird
I think I’m living up to what I’ve heard
But you can’t go by what you see
I might have just about earned the degree
That I see playin’ out on the screen
This life is the dream

Beat Up Sneaks

What is it that I’m trying to clarify
I’ll be the weather you cannot deny
And blow in on the breeze with my two shoes
Dancing coz I’ve got the moves
As I saunter like a drifter
Are you mad you never kissed her
But let her skip out of your grasp
All because you never asked
But true love comes around time and again
It’s not just the spark between women and men
But the ever beating pulse of the Divine
All is the Lord’s, not yours and mine
And even the bough of the tree that we take
Is under the cover of what you can’t forsake

Furiously Searching For Some Thing I Can’t Name

I am the place I’m looking to get
And it’s just an illusion to say I’m not there yet
Coz I stand in my own pair of boots
Anchored like tree who has roots
Deep in the soil drawing up
Water and nutrients like they are love
And lead to me flourishing with leaves of green
Nothing isn’t all that it may seem
And I’m used like ink in the nib of a pen
I’ll just jot down, can I write it again
And Now comes to pass as always is
The magic is that I am His

The Soundtrack To Me

It’s a beautiful Saturday evening
Crisp and clean
Like you’d be playing football
On our field of dreams
And I couldn’t reconcile
The golden green mile
I had to walk
Through valleys of talk
And ideals ripped asunder
Days when my number
Was up
But love
Pushed me through the needle eye
Coz it’s not my time to die
At least not just yet
But I don’t forget
Our moment out of time
And the instant you were mine
I held a holy hand
And it was like sand
Slipping through my fingers
Where are the bringers
Of the doom I seem to sense
And the forest is dense
But I’m all good
Pine cone bed in the middle of the wood

Seasons And Elemental Forces

Running like a river
But I can’t get away
What if I let it catch me
And I agree to stay
In the forest of my dreams
In the midnight of my tome
I’m away from you
Or the place that I call home
In the winter, in the summer
In spring, come what may
In autumn the leaves change colour
Because they cannot stay
The same as they’ve been
And life moves on
There’s no need to mourn
What is already gone


It’s slowly fading away
The voice I grew to stand up and say
Stop, you can’t do that
But it’s a boomerang and it hit me back
As I laid out my ammunition
To absolve me from my condition
But the weather rained bullets from the sky
And I realized I’m afraid to die
To stand out in the water
Like the lowly daughter
Of the Son
But now and then all things are One
And I zing with zest
Living my life being the best
Of all I can be
Why do nobody see
But that is not my claim
To lay upon my name
A steady sigh
Can I look fate in the eye
And accept the cards have been dealt
And that the scar from the welt
Will grow into a beautiful prize
A mark of forever in my own eyes


The life I swore I wouldn’t live in
I just crawled back towards the sin
And made a stick house out of lollipop sticks
Chew gum and hope that something sticks
Coz I’m out in the open when I’m with you
I shed my clothes coz you asked me to
And in my defense I have none
I gave it up for God’s Son
And I’m humming mobile as I walk
Wonder if I’m just all talk
Or does the substance of me
Have something to give you for free
But you’re all tied up with her
Denying everything we ever were
And I’m the last one in the club
(But I say no to the drug)
You just offer up
But I can’t call this love
Not when you bargain a chip
Then say I’m the one with it
The last one at the table
Look at me if you’re able
Coz you drop your eyes
Like there is no disguise
That could ever keep us apart
And I must admit I am all heart
When it’s beating for you
Don’t walk away just coz I asked you to
I’m just scared that’s all
(And you are really tall)
Could you maybe hold my hand
For a moment’s change before the sand
Runs out of the hourglass
Did I ever tell you you are class!


Imma bounce
Like a cat about to pounce
Or the people you denounce
Coz I just can’t stay still in chains
I look up to the sky and it rains
Open air and fresh water blues
You know the breeze smells of you
Like fresh grass or school in the nineties era
Kind of scary and I feared ya
When you looked deeply into me
What is it that you see
Coz your eyes are golden
And no one would believe me even if I’d told em
But you stay still and silent as the grave
I never knew my own power to save
With my mere presence alone
Now you’re just on the other end of a phone
And I followed every line you dropped
Til the moment when it just stopped
And I couldn’t contain the rush
Is it now we get to touch
Coz we seem separated by a million miles
But I could never pay for one of your smiles
It radiates like a frequency to burn
I swear you make the world turn

A Decade Old Dream

Living in a decade old dream
One where you’re the king and I’m the queen
And we live somewhere outside of town
Somewhere no one is around
So we can do what we like in the night
Or in the morning when the daytime gets bright
And I’ve bought a house with a little land
You’re in a band and d’ya know we’re grand
Living a little off the earth
Gone past the realm of hurt
And my belly’s swelling with something in store
Something you put there and what’s more
Is that I’m a writer and sing of our song
And you can do no wrong
But the axis turned when I spelled it out
I could feel the hinges of your doubt
Rock the door side to side
And I’m breathing or I wouldn’t know I’m alive
In that sudden pause
The hidden clause
And we haven’t spoken since
The thought of it makes me wince
But you speak to me in dreams
And nothing is as ever ever what it seems
And is it telepathy or psychosis
Do I round the corner of a diagnosis
To say I’m ESP as a person can be
But still the masses do not see
Except for that look in your eye
Like you had found something that will not die
In this world of intemperance and fear
There was a moment the monument clear
The clouds that rise like storms around
But where we are is solid ground


I’ve never spoken of my feelings for you
And I don’t know why
And I’m always scared
You’re gonna die
Coz I hold you so dear
But you’re never near
And I don’t think you understand
I never had any of this planned
And I know you’ve got a life
And its unreasonable to think a wife
Is what I could be
It’s borderline delusional a history
But I’ve gotta speak this longing in my heart
The reverberations start
When you’re near the scene
And the fabric of my dream
Starts to shimmer
Did you use the dimmer
Switch coz the light in here
Is gone all moody and I fear
That I may be for you over again
I’m fascinated by other men
But you hold this draw
Like you’re the rule and the cosmic law
Pulls me to your door
Don’t you love me anymore?

Listen To The Thunder

You walk like you’ve got thunder in your soles
You move like you’re the waves that roll
And I’ve been a lightning catcher since 2005
But I didn’t know you were alive
Til the cloud rolled over my town
And the rain is pouring down
Over fields
And the feeling yields
To the magnitude of you
What am I supposed to do
With a force like that
And I’ve no right to want you back
When I walked away
And left you with nothing to say
But I can feel your reverberation
On the other side of this equation
And I just wanna balance the sheet
Is it ok if I meet
You in my dreams
It’s everything it seems
In twilight or the dawn
You said that it was gone
But you’re a consequence of light
I spitfire and you ignite

School For

What do I go to school for 
That teacher on the sly
And you know
You’re a really fab guy
And is it sixteen never been kissed
But there was that guy who almost missed
My lips he was so eager
But you wouldn’t believe her
When she spilled her guts on the phone
So I give up and accept being alone
But I’ve always a student of life
And man, do you have a wife
Or are you still kicking it on the roam
I stare at my home
Thinking you might reach out
The picture of my perfect doubt
But I got it bad
You’re the best thing I never had

Battle Of The Bands

They walked away from the town they knew
And Longford’s not the same without you
The streets are grey, the skies are dull
And my skin’s as thin as cotton wool
And I still remember where we left that day
In the car park with nothing to say
So I wrapped my arms around your waist
But you had to go, make haste
And for that whole week I was delirious
Shooting hoops so serious
I sat on the floor by the kitchen sink
And my stomach did flips to barely think
Of you somewhere with a phone
To reach into my alone
And make it two
So I can be lonely with you
And then I saw you again at the battle of the bands
I didn’t know where to place my hands
So I ran off to the restroom
I knew I had to come out sometime soon
And that you would be waiting
There’s no hating
Just a vague terror for you to see
What resides at the heart of me
But I stood my ground on a screen
Willing to be truly seen
Did you feel my soul
Reach out across the coal
You walk upon
I’m not gone
But here in the room we know
I did not let you go
But hold you in my heart so true
I stare to say I’ve been waiting for you

Low On Love

Low on love
But I’m getting high
On touch that makes me
Wanna die
Or cry
Or fly
I’m not sure which
And that dude
Called me a bitch
But fuck it, I don’t care
And do I dare
To spill truth
From my lips
Like a midnight sun, eclipse
Or a new moon to make the dawn
What do I do when the pain is gone
Coz I’ve been nursing it nineteen years
Been walking through walls of fears
And tears
And beers
Don’t you see
All that there is to me
Hidden in a fort
But it’s nothing, you retort
But sunshine
There are so many ways to dine
And eat your fill
Starve yourself but I never will
Let this thread go
I’m looking at you, you know

One Moment For Granted

We can’t take one moment for granted
Nothing’s guaranteed
Life ends in death
We rely on the blood we bleed
To keep the body going
I look out the window
And the sky is snowing
Everything lending itself to another
The rain is frozen
And I lost a brother
In the storm
The river flowed
I may have taken the less travelled road
But it wasn’t for the good of my health
And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth
Except an inner gratitude
And a reliance on the dude
That runs the show
Is there something I should know
Or do I just apt predict
So worried that I make myself sick
And have to be revolved on medication
There’s no point lying about my tv station
And if I’m off them for long
I start to feel like I don’t belong
To even the human race at all
I drink it in at the waterfall
And run, simply run down the hall
Of the institution I became part of
Resident of guarded love
And I hate but I also care
Feel the torment start to tear
At the edifice I’ve built
I don’t know why but I wilt
Under the glare of a heavy sun
And I’m always looking for the one
Who might make my stars shine bright
But the blade became my kryptonite
As it etched in stone what my heart would write
Only to feel the pull of the tide
The breath that means I am alive
As I drag my body out of the morass
I waken up when I am in class
And revive to a certain degree
Ten years to know it’s not just me
Who feels this way
And there needs to be a conversation
About what it means to stay
And guidance from the ground
About the people you always want around
Do you hear the triangle ping
I let go and give up everything


I’ve got these pair of wings
Behind a heart that sings
And it spreads out to occupy
There’s a part of me that will never die
Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite
Is it alright
If I speak of the moment great
When I outgrew the hate
But just for an instant and then recede
I tell the people but they don’t believe
In what I gotta say
Is it okay
If I tell you a story new
Of a room and vibrant blue
And I found myself on the floor
Drew my first breath and I adore
The world I’ve been born into
And it’s always been you
I wanted to tell
Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell
And you’ve been by my side for an eon
But there’s nothing we seem to agree on
But the war we wage
Could you understand if I wrote a page
In testament to what you are
You’re more than a burning star
Coz you will never go out
And I will give leave to my mouth
To speak what I gotta say
I love you, is that okay

Photo Credit:

Battered And Bruised

Is she battered and bruised
Or just slightly used
Coz I can’t clamber back up
Into the heights of our love
It’s like something has been locked out
And it smacks of my doubt
In a crescent moon
And is the end coming soon
Or do we have time
Is it a holy crime
To count the days of tomorrow as now
Coz life won’t let me somehow
It gives me clear directions and tells me write
I look up and you’re alright
So I dip my quill
Let the ink spill
And though I never will
I paint pictures with the upmost skill
The bell chimes
And we’re full of “I’m fine”s
But how are you really
And do you feel me
Or is it just refraction
I’m stifled by my own inaction
In the face of war
Could you tell me what it’s for
Coz I hear the gun ring out
And my self doubt
Spirals a song
Could you tell me what I’m doing wrong?
And I feel our humanity
But it’s just not up to me
As I swim in the stream
Against the current and it’s a dream
Can I wake up now
I’ll hold your hand if you allow
So that we both might stir
My reflection in the still of her

Fire Brimming Full

The fire’s brimming full
And I can’t bear the cotton wool
They wrap me in
Can I begin
To become a star
Like the way I feel afar
When the rain is thundering down
And I’m just driving around the town
I used to call home
And am I all alone
Or does she care
And do I dare
To spill the words
Like liquid ink
Is it okay to think
Whatever I like
But, Lord, don’t give her a mic

Girl Unobserved

Looking through the windowglass 
Trying to find the pane
But all there ever seems to be
Is rain
And it’s pouring down
Enough to drown
A whole city with its depth
Do you live in the forest of no regret
And can a fire burn it up
It’s like the sun on speed or some other drug
Taking uppers to keep the high
But there’s no blue in the sky
It’s all a trick of the light
But don’t worry, son, you’ll be alright
As we trust fall into the air
I just know there’s something there
Some Jesus to catch my soul
Science says the waves roll
Because of the moon
But is there room
For a little mystery
A sort of adjacent history
That plies the wood
And pries me apart
And everything I do
Is done with heart
To be the full of my Spirit
You’re right, but where did you hear it?

Speaking Now (While I Have The Chance)

We’re on the frontier of a new design
And it’s not like I can call anything mine
As we switch up the fray
And while it’s sunny I’m gonna make hay
And set it in store
Could you wish for anything more
Than grain in the barn
And those you love safe from harm
As the storm rages
And I’m furiously writing pages
Coz I’ve just got to get this damn thing down
Before the ocean rises and we start to drown
Because I cannot quell the tide
But I can speak while I’m alive

So Short

Your time here was short
I can’t even grasp the air
Because you were just standing there
And now you’re gone
Somewhere I’ll never belong
And is it so wrong
To be okay
What is it you say
That everything works out okay
And it’ll all be fine
But there were moments you were mine
And days we stepped out of time
Is it a crime
That I’m strong
And the wind tells me that I belong
Somewhere rarified
But when you died
It’s like you cracked the shell
That had encased me so well
And I can’t keep the light out
It’s beyond all doubt
That you know exactly what I’m about
Like you always did
Now you are His
And look on from afar
But near is really what you are
Closer than close
No more lying to the Holy Ghost
But keeping the peace
What is it of you that hasn’t ceased?

We Found Love

We found love
In a hopeless place
And I miss the memory
Of your face
When everything
Is gone without a trace
And all I have left
Is just the faith
That you left in me
You say that the world is already free
And all we have to do is trust
We can’t make or break a must
Only learn from the storm
About what keeps the weather warm
About what keeps the sky so full
A rainy day is never dull

Just Want You To Know

I just want you to know
How I feel
And when I’m famous
You can steal
Into these caverns
These hallowed halls
Separated by spaces
And held together by walls
And hold a little tome
A book that when I was all alone
Spoke of you
Though it wasn’t because I wanted it to
It’s just because it’s true
I love the paradigm of you

Just This

Slow dancing in the street
The moment our heart meet
And realise it’s one
And the sun
Has gone down
We’re dancing in the dark of this town
And I want you as much as I ever did
There’s a part of my soul that’s his
As we move to a steady sway
And everything is okay
With his arms around me
It’s kinda like love surround me
I’m the midnight of a moment that I share
I was happy because you were there


I always thought the last time I saw you
Would be the last time I saw you
But is there another moment held
Another impact to weld
Me closer to you
I don’t know what to do
Or how to cross the great divide
All I know is I’d like to have you by my side
Coz you were so kind
Now I’m dreaming of what I left behind
A dreamboat to sail away
A mystery to hold my hand and stay
And give all of myself to
You didn’t know you were red, did you?


I was just walking home with Daz
Wondering about that shine he has
And I would’ve asked him up
If I thought he’d’ve wanted a cup
Of tea to warm our bones
Coz we are so far from home
Here in this big city
And it’s a bit shitty
I never told you how I felt
Never let on the cards were dealt
The first time you smiled at me
You know you made me feel pretty
And I feel so aged and old
But it’s not too late for our story to be told
And I wonder how you are
Did you find a star
To shine as bright as you do
And do I still mean something to you?

Woah 💫

I love the other Tucker
And man it hurts like a fucker
Coz he’s as much a looker
In a different kind of way
And what can I say
Man, you kinda blew me away
With your understated, so under rated
And I kinda loved that girl you dated
For a year or so
But she let you go
Or on with the show
Could I be a page in the book you open
And I’m a writer so here’s hoping
I’m not too much for you
I grew up coz you wanted me to

Back To NY

Back to NY 
And I’m not even gonna try
To put you off
Don’t know what’s the cost
Of loving, longing, holding you dear
And things are crystal clear
When it comes to you
Don’t you know what I’m gonna do
When I get you in my arms
Forswear all the folk charms
To open to your sunshine soul
And you know how things roll
You got me in the heart
And I just wait for things to start
Like they did ten years ago
But we’re forever so
I don’t need to worry
Take your time, babe, there’s no hurry