Lenses

Do I set diagrams spiraling out into the wind
And is to be alive to say I have sinned
Coz there's all of this perfect I won't get to be 
I'm just clearing my eyes so I can really see
And what does the lens do to the light
It focuses it on the retina, right? 
Then the brain turns the picture the right way round
Like the way it interprets sound
And do you ever wonder about the mystery we are
How the atoms inside us are the same as a star
And we have galaxies within our soul 
It's only the body that's getting old

Stairwell

All my life I've been standing on the stairs
No putting on graces, I'm not putting on airs
I'm not trying to be better than I've become
I'm just opening up and letting the One
Move through me like a river to sea
I don't know where I'm going or what I'll be
All I know is I feel the pull
And the longing start to dull
As it unfolds unto a new expanse
I watch the whole world start to dance
To the music of a perfect refrain
It's being lifted out of the pain
It is being called at the edge of the circle
On the rock we call Earth as it begins to hurtle
Through the density of time-space
And you can see through the dreams that you chase
As you find yourself back in the same old place
Believe and relive the burden you face 

Love

I love so much
I feel I will burst
This feeling courses
Through the very worst

Through all of the liking
And ticking the box
I find I am open
Without any locks

And it just moves its own way
In a flow, in a beat
And I find I am standing 
On my own two feet

As I build on foundations
Solid as a rock
Am I okay? 
Well, is the sun hot

Just like my heart
In rhythms it's own 
I may not be adult
But I am grown

My Share of the Deal

Am I misunderstood
There was a time
They all thought I was good
And had trophies lined up
For me to wear
I stand up 
And the fabric tear
Til I'm reeling in dreams
Colossal and huge
It's like I asked for rain
And there came a deluge
To bucket down
On top of me
But fuck it, it's 
All I got to be
And there's no point complaining
About my share of the deal 
Oceans are weather
And it's the way that I feel 
To finally come home
To who I am 
I move in life
Without a plan

Built on Love

Comparison and judgement 
Destroy the soul 
They make you 
Prematurely old
They only serve
To dim your light
Just surrender
Give up the fight
And come back
To a place called home
Know that you
Are never alone
But always supported
From the ground up
The Universe 
Is built on love

Destiny

I've got a destiny
I can feel it in my bones
And it has something to do 
With saving people's homes
With finding a diagram
That will fit the screen
I have to make reality
Out of the thing I dream 
And the stories I tell 
Myself quietly at night
There has to be a way
To make the world alright
To cause and effect
And point out the tune
And I am not alone
When I'm sitting in my room
When I'm sitting by myself
To ponder life as real 
There has to be more
Than the way we cut the deal

The Cosmic Mind

The cosmic mind
Knows what it's doing
It points out dreams
That are worth pursuing

And I'm so lost 
In the creases and folds
But it breaks a sunrise 
Across the sky it holds

And the horizon 
Is burning red
Til I can't remember 
Where I've been led

Out into the warmth
Of a new day
I'm trusting in it
Anyway

Passing Through

We’re only passing through

We’re a whisper on a page

We are the bodies that we grow

And then again to age

We’re the midnight in the summer

When the moon is shining high

We’re the truth between the lines

On the paper where we lie

We’re the justice and the mercy

The all bequeathing love

We’re the hand that writes the heavens

In stars far above

We’re the darkness and the light

The fire we ignite

But among the chaos

I know we will be alright

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Dancing

Dancing to a rhythm

That no one can see

There is music playing

But is it just me

Who can hear the call

Of the Divine

And endless reservoir

Of fine

And a diamond mine

In the grass

All you ever have to do

Is ask

The Ogre

The ogre

Eats me up again

He knocks on my door

And sends me into a spin

Like a washing machine

Or the depths of a dream

I roll

In endless currents of my soul

And dive deeper into the ocean again

I was free once, and I will be when

And I remember now

Under all the fray

That I am endlessly

Okay

And fine

I hopscotch to

This rhythm of mine

This Winter

The feeling of panic

Knarls in my stomach

Maybe this is too much to be

Maybe there’s so much yet to see

But the aching roars

And the spirit soars

To become an avalanche

Of my own making

And I count every one

Of the breaths I’m taking

In case I misplace one

Amidst the snow

The winter has gone on

For so long, you know

Everywhere

The love, it abides

The music, it sings

Into worlds

Of everythings

To pierce

Your darkest night

Don’t you know

It’ll be alright

Because every hair

On your head is counted

And the emptiness

Is a hidden mountain

Of stability

That just remains

Regardless of

Time and pain

Regardless of

Lost ways

It’s all around

That’s what it says

Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

The Calling

The Lord, He calls me

Into who I’m meant to be

Onto the road I’m meant to walk

I don’t want this to be all talk

But the evidence of Truth

To be alive, to be the proof

Of the goodness that knows no bounds

The silence within all the sounds

The love that is all abiding

It’s time to come out of hiding

Photo by Benita Anand on Unsplash

Grace

The Lord knows how to walk my shoes

And I know how to pay my dues

As he directs my glance

There’s no need for a second chance

As he makes my spirit dance

And a new way

To make headway against the tide

A way to live my life alive

A way to communicate to all Beings

The power of our shared seeings

The power of Grace to renew

And it is living in you

Awakening

The light it struck me in the dark

And I had to give up playing the part

Of the hard done by fool

It happened one day in school

Where the Divine called my name

Pulled me away from all blame

Unto a new dawn

And all the pain was gone

All the suffering that could ever be

Is just an illusion that you seem to see

But we are free as a bird

From the story we never heard

The Love of Letting Go

If you love something, you let it go

That’s what I’m doing here, you know

As I let go of my grip on the infinite

I think I just might be alright

And concede to life that death is king

He will take everything

Every stone and every blade of grass

And doesn’t ever think to ask

But there’s something even time can’t steal

It’s in the domain of the real

It’s pure and it’s refined

And far beyond the old mind

That would tell you this is that

And have you running like an alley cat

Up walls and over bins

Years lost in the din

Yet something finds me in the Now

I don’t know quite how

But it pulls me up by my boots

And still I grow deeper roots

To fulfill my nourishment

I need no encouragement

To be the light that I am

I move in waves without a plan

Image Credit: eberhard grossgasteiger at Unsplash.com

Having To Let You Go

It's not that easy
All this having to let you go 
I didn't think
I'd have to do it, you know
I thought we could
Go on forever
But now every endeavour
Speaks of you 
As you go on with your life
And ardent devotion over strife
Seems to capture my days
And there are so many ways
To miss what we had 
And to regret 
What turned out bad
Could you forgive
If I live and let live
And consent 
To being the presence 
Where heaven went 

Indefinability

Is it worth all the time
All this losing weight 
All the giving in
And shedding hate
Because time has come
For our true Self
To be revealed 
As nothing else
Than that we've 
Been searching for
Knock and the door
Opens from the inside out
I'm not the words
That come from my mouth

Translation

I write about no one
And nothing agrees
I am split level
I've got my degrees
And if you ask a question
Who is to answer 
Love is the way
And life is the dancer
To a new song
To a new word
And it's like the best
Sound you've ever heard
But this poem's just a tribute
It's not the real thing 
You know it when
You give up on this fling
That you've been caught in
That you've been living
And God is peaceful 
He is forgiving
So don't walk away
From all you own
Just listen to your heart 
As true colours are shown
As light and love
Break through and bask 
All you ever have to do
Is ask 

Empty Air

The day it all dropped down by my side
Is the day I truly came alive
And there was nothing there
Just empty air
Nothing with the will to get by 
And I just basked in the vastness of the sky
I wasn't big and I sure wasn't small
Only aware of it all
And perceiving 
Something that was
Beyond believing 
And beyond reason in its perfect hue
There's nothing there I have to do 
Only make waves to lap the shore
And give in to worship all I adore
And once again, once more
I let go to open the door

Seasons

There is thunder in my footsteps
And rhythm in my feet
I’m like the shore lapping 
Where the waters meet

And every day’s a sigh
And every week I utter
The same old words
Against the window shutter 

And the house it creaks and groans
With every passing wind
The pain in my bones
A sign that I have sinned

And winter knows my name
It comes howling in
Only to give way
To let spring begin

And summer has its sound
And autumn its flavour
And every moment’s like a taste
That I give in to savour

As every month rolls round
To make another year
As I let go of all the lies
And am freed from the fear

Nickname

I've got a nickname
And it should be proof
That I do not live my life aloof
But streak in hair
And fabric that would dare
To set alight
And be the fire
To burn by night
To light the way
Of all the wanderers who stay
On the beaten track 
Now there is no way to turn back
On my side once more
In grace I do adore
The reflection of your face
I'm seeing you every place
I go or roam and for a moment
You were home
But I guess I see I have gone astray
And must refind the way
By the light of love
Descended on me like a white dove
Or fire and tongues
What it is to be young 

Dream

Photo by Rachel Claire on Pexels.com
Why do I still love you
It should be through 
And over and done
But you're still the one
I hitch my wagon to
In the dark 
And the light without you
Is bare and stark
And everytime I hear your name
Something inside me starts
As the cobwebs are pulled apart
By effortless hands
And the slipping sands
Of time mean nothing now
Though as for what the space allow
I cannot say
Only you were the light of day
A little too soon
I visualise you in my room
Talking to me or looking that way
And to God I still pray
That you're okay 
And I stay 
At the centre of circle or wheel 
Of the heart that you steal 
Everytime you smile at me
And, Lord, you will always be
Like a tower to be seen
I think you were the answer to a dream 

The Creative Impulse

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com
The creative impulse
Eats me up
You could call it
A kind of love
But it's relentless
It knows no way
To be easy 
On me today
The creative fire
The divine spark
Knows how
To tear me apart

A Desert City

Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on Pexels.com
A wasted desert city
In an island of storm
And I was only tryin' 
To keep myself warm 
But I've journeyed miles
Away from home
And it is with loneliness
That I roam
For you were a tower
You were complete
And I'm always falling down
At your feet
But you pick me up
With my cryin' eyes
See through layers
Of my disguise
And it's ancient
And ever new
And you're saying
I mean the world to you  

Devotion

How can I be devoted to someone
Looking through a windowpane
It is ardent, it is true
But is it all in vain
Because he doesn't believe
A single word I'm saying
So all my tears come down
Falling like the rain

And he has a girl
So how do I compete
When I'm a mess of hair
Falling at his feet
It's just that he makes me
Feel so damn complete
And I cannot deny
The cuteness when we meet

And is it all a movie scene
Do I play the damsel in distress
And is he the hero 
To save me and the rest
And could you call this anything
But a fair request
I was dancing in the storm
In my favourite dress

And where do we go from here
Is it a nothing that we are
Am I Victoria
And not the fallen star
I just know that he has 
Every piece of my heart
Held within a frame
Where they once were apart

And is this all nonsense
I'm scribbling on a page
I was close to crying 
And he was full of rage
But, oh, the image of you
It could stand for an age
When you're talking to me
I am not afraid

And I cannot find the answer
Nor can I write it out
It seemed you played a song 
That is what I'm about
And I cannot not hear
When you veritably shout
And all the words are
Just spilling from my mouth

And does it matter what they all think
Does it matter what they say
Because I really don't think
This feeling's going away
And I wished I had asked you
Years ago to stay
And not degenerate
Into a child's play

So who am I to you now
Am I anything at all
Because I've been calling for you
For eons down the hall
And each and everytime
I meet with a brick wall
Just before I go
Freefalling through it all

And we have friends in common
Is it just a Facebook scene
Am I Katy Perry
And you the teenage dream
And are all the cobwebs
Not what they may seem
You stun me like a laser 
Coming through on a moonbeam

And if it all is worthless
And left in the past
Is there any room
For me still to ask
Can we be on friendly terms
In the sun to bask
Because I know within
That this is built to last

And if I'm really crazy
You know I was locked up
Is there space to verbalise
Just what I'm thinking of 
Is it against your wishes
That I might call this love
And bless it with the rain
That falls from above 

Inexplicable

There's nothing I can say
That explains what I mean
The closest I can come to
Is that life's a dream

But that's even in the story
It's not waking up
I guess you could call it
A kind of love

But it's not static
It's dynamic and moving
Like clouds on the run
That needs no improving

And I want to say
That you should trust yourself
Don't be depending 
On anyone else

Not even on me
And the light I see
In the depths of my heart
Is where you'll always be

Not hidden away
But burning with fire
All heat from the furnace
That only gets higher

Malas

Am I wearing 
Malas to the Supreme
Waking up
Though I'm still in a dream

And is it Grace
All of the falling apart
I can't deny
That I've got heart

And are my assumptions
To the contrary unfounded
Was it through open fields 
I bounded

And I can feel it lift
Here or there
The tumbling structures 
That I wear

And do we build God 
Or is he real
And is realisation
More than just what I feel

Rushing Water

I saw you like a hero
Like a saviour in the stream
Like a wild songwriter
Surfing a moonbeam
And you have got your failings
As everybody must
And though I see them clearly
There’s something I still trust
Like the darkness in your eye
Unconquerable and deep
Or the innocence of a child
Lost in a sleep
And I know that I can’t have you
Im not sure if I ever could
I just wrote to tell you honestly
That I still would
Hold your hand so gently
So softly and sincere
You still mean it all
It all to me, my dear

It Itself

The one who’s troubled
And the one who sees
Share the same place
And so I grieve
For I am only
Occupancy
For all that I
Will never be
Til a different movement
Takes my hand
Collapse the ground
Upon which you stand
Collapse the mount
You made yourself
For it can’t be done
By anyone else

The Opposite

Not my will
But thine own be done
The power of
The Holy One
The Power of
The Immortal Being
That’s looking through
These eyes as Seeing
That lifts my arm
So I can walk
That moves a body
So it can talk
That causes subtle
Fade aways
Like stars
At the end of days
That causes love
That points out hate
So everything is kept
In its place
That secret, hidden
Silence underneath
That’s walking as
My path to feet
That’s moving as
My blood to air
The peace that
Just isn’t there
The Nothing that
Can e’er be touched
And all that
I love so much
Is fueling a different
Roundabout
As it is pouring
Out my mouth
Back to home
Back to Now
I bring myself
To You and bow

Image: http://iamdarrynzewalk.com/kneel-pray-and-let-god/

White Fire Love

I saw the White Light
I saw Supreme
In an instant I
Woke from the dream
But upon rising
I found myself
In the same damn place
As everyone else
And yet I split the sun
It shone from the cracks
The glass had shattered
And now I can’t go back
But falling to thieves
I stumbled forth
And they stole from me
With no remorse
I offered hands
I offered bread
They took all
And left me for dead
Now here in the gutter
I stare at the sky
With a star sparkling
In my eye

Image Credit: Florence + the Machine

B5

Through the eye of deficiency
Through the needle of storm
I find the place
Where the heat is still warm
Where courage abides
And beauty abounds
Where silence is heard
In the absence of sound

Anthropology

The anthroplogist in me
Wants to see this bird set free
Wants to see this bird fly home
To a place that is her own
But all the arching backs to see
Like cats on windowpanes to be
Even though the going’s long
I think, I know, I’m not wrong

Mercy

When you get knocked down do you ever consider staying on the floor
Let everyone else continue their war
While you use eyes to stare at stars
You can only see because you’re in the dark
And give yourself time to contemplate
Why you always return to this repetitious state
And if it says something about who you should be
That you’ve only been escaping from dignity
In silent stillness on the ground
You find the peace that’s all around

Kingdom Hearts

You’re full of love for the things you create
But I’m a place you can’t dominate
Though you may be king of the dormant domain
There are lands over which you don’t reign
And there is a motion that sits in the river
I will not make up for what you can’t give her
Struggle in the tide of a crocodile spin
When you cry tears there’s no way you can win
As I incline my head to that which you know
Don’t blame me for the feet you walk as you go
My hands are off the wheel of your car
But I’m still aware of who you are

Don’t bother faking the remorse
I’m sure time will have it run its course
And you don’t need to half ass what you feel you should say
I don’t believe you anyway
I’m sure you’ll buy her a real nice ring
And make the song hit the notes and everything
But you’ll never have me sign the sheet
To annul your previous fall and defeat
At the hands of a lesser God
I’ll watch you leave without a word
But don’t you dare look back
Its a permission that I lack

You’ve got loads of criteria for me to attain
But you can’t laugh at the sun and expect it to rain
As if I would give you all of my shine
So you could have a sword and take what is mine
Just another trophy to sit on your shelf
Add to the list to which she is as well
Narrow my eyes in suspicious slits
I guess I always expected no better than this
And if one and only has nothing to declare
Then you would have always been there
Instead of passing the parcel to other hands
Then claim you were true to your ancestors lands

Don’t make me laugh at your attempts
To sidle away and throw deference
I may be small but I’m fast as the wind
And I’m not merely an attenuation of him
To play the kind part of forgiving queen
Who holds in her heart the way it has been
And finds a way to live to pretend
If she just holds it in then it will come to an end
But no corseted lady am I
And there are things for which I would die
Rather than stage wise just lose breath
Over the things I cannot forget

I will not hold what is not for my soul
And if it’s by decision then was that all?
For will cannot paint what is by design
And what comes back will always be mine
And somehow I fear that there lies a string
Connecting me to everything
I feel the tug and then the pull
And life with you would never be dull
But I have a wryness in my smile’s edge
And it can’t help but turn up at the things that you said
As I, to my own supreme shame
Find myself redeemed by saying your name

As you with your talk and your wheedling charm
Find no shortage of girls to rub against your arm
And console and commit to the rogue in you
It’s just so enticing, the hole they fall into
As I watch from the cliff with my chin in my hands
Surveying the lay of the land as it stands
It’s so comical if it didn’t hurt
And when I tickle the humour it only gets worse
As I admit grudgingly that I admire
The divine devotion that you inspire
Least of all in one like me
How did this finger trap come to be?

But the authority returns from whence it came
And I’ll always be in the space I remain
Never moving, never knowing what lies beyond
The passage of time that is already gone
As I tip my hat to the extreme
And the pain without which I would not have seen
That all is illusion except what is real
And there is a peace even you cannot steal
Closing my eyes to the forest of trees
That is a life of you without me
In a place where existence is the only repose
I already am the thing that I chose

Graham

God occupies a place you could never reach
And I follow the direction of the words that you teach
But I never learn what he put in my heart
Only find different ways to tear it apart
And you think your reign is sacrosanct
So you exorcise or make me walk the plank
Choosing between the sharp end of a stick
Or water full of sharks who want to have a dip
And I mean you could be Satan in another life
Or Hitler to kill what he cannot ignite
But you can never put darkness back into a soul
That has seen the light in the course you enrol
And I could really laugh cause it’s so fucking scary
It takes the edge off the harsh and you act contrary
To be ridiculed as only flesh and dust
An earthly conglomeration that I do not trust
And I would boil the kettle but you do not drink
You do not understand the silence you think
Rolls into a wave submerging the sea
There’ll never be a day when you look up to me
But I’ll still take a cup and savour the warmth
I love the midnight in the depth of the storm
And you think you’re taking notes but you haven’t seen
The ring binder of files outside of this dream
I could make a study of how you move your eyes
What you try to do when you psychologise
What you are hiding beneath the skin
That says there’s a line around what can’t get in
But you breathe, I see your chest rise and fall
So you couldn’t be completely beyond it all
As you look for an answer you do not find
And I am not the details you search in my mind
As out of the blue with long lost and stark
I comet my tail expanding the arc
Til it’s all absolved in a holy hue
None of this is because of you
As silent guilt curves the corner
I saw it coming and I didn’t warn her

Moody Blues

I have the FOMOODs, I can’t tell you what that means
Only that it is full of all my could have beens
That I spied on my head when I lay directly under
Stars of your making, just behind the thunder
In a field full of grass because I’m not afraid of rain
I got to see the sky held beneath the pain
And the smile that cracks the sunlight in your eyes
I was there to see the truth so don’t tell me that it’s lies
Because you can’t explain your way out of an escape
And I could be your hero, with or without the cape
Though I do not claim to fly or burn bullets with my vision
I can see right through you and do so with precision
As you surreptitiously suppose things that may come to be
You may not know it yet but you’re still looking for me
In all of the crevices and clothes that you pile under
You can’t run away now that I have your number
To ring up and to dial like I am death himself
We’re only counting days until we see there’s something else
So whatever you may find I know that it will ring
The bells of a tomorrow when you give me everything
And sacrifice your soul on the alter of this love
All I want is you and what you pointed out above
So, letters to the incomplete that never get returned
What do you do with them, after reading are they burned?
For what could you want with the musing of a child
Unless I was right and you’re not just in my mind
But real and exist beyond the combings of the ether
You got me alone so it gave me a breather
To know what it was like against my worser will
To stand by your side, fearfully still
Afraid to even move to disturb the interruption
Of the volcano that you are in the midst of my corruption
Of the wild flowers in fields, so delicately strong
They outlast the others that are long since gone
In all my misery and in all your fevered might
I think you held my heart and I let you see the light
That pulses to a beat that I cannot contain
Though it just gets louder when I feel that you’re in pain
Til crumbling and falling like a building to the ground
I pray for a silence to overtake the sound
But just like you, I cannot unhear
The power of the presence that I felt draw near
When we wore matching soles to skip across the dust
I used to believe in God, now you’re where I place my trust
And I know that in time you will give in to see
What has always been, before you, finally

Photo Credit: http://pin.it/N_HlOaR

Shanghai

It was a once in a lifetime kind of a thing
And I might have a life but I’ll never have him
And you are a wonder and touch me just so
Where he left the wound that you want to go
I wish I could agree with the please in your eyes
I nod along to the flower that dies
And you give me everything I could entertain
And I know you want to ease my pain
But does that make it right to go along
When you’ve painted the picture and mastered the song
And all I need to do is slip my hand into yours
Stand by your side as you close all the doors
Hope in my heart that it is enough
To hold back the force of his tidal wave love
That wreaked such destruction on all of my plains
I called the cops but they just took names
And now I am stranded in this waste of a place
But someone sees something when they look in my face
And I want to crawl in under your arm
Cause you swore you would never do me that kind of harm
And I know in all honesty you are speaking the truth
And it’s not the first time I have loved you
But the bitterness burns in the back of my throat
As I wonder do I want to stay afloat
Cause the weather may change and the tides may rise
But he will always be God in my eyes
Bitten by a curse I cannot undo
I don’t want to inflict myself upon you
Unsteady heart that roams the seas
And kisses the waves of who I used to be
You are neat and precise and create a home
But I’m desperado and I love it alone
To come and call with flowers to your door
And say that I wish I could give you more
But he already took all that I had
What’s left are the shards and I feel so bad
That the most of what I have to offer
Is to hold your hand and think of how he thinks of her
And you’re worth true love but you don’t let me go
I look in your eyes and I feel that I know
That whatever the winds blow me in time
My feelings for you are not only mine
But surge on repeat to a lunar command
I am your friend and I think we’ll be grand
And fall into step as I catch your breath
I could be yours if you know that I met
Him as he walked blades of grass through the field
And there’s a part of my soul that never will yield
To the onslaught of this universe
I am glad of the way he made me hurt
And if that’s something you can accept
Then maybe I can be who I ought to be yet
Catch the smile to make it spread
He let me go and left me for dead
But clasped in the locket on my chain
Is a blank space waiting for a name
So maybe Poseidan won’t drown me today
I want to say thanks for not going away

LightSaber

There’s a sadness in our laughter
And I can’t make the smile crack my eyes
There’s a pain underneath the surface
And it all feels like lies
Like the truth we cannot grasp
And I want to walk away
But we are now so seldom
Something makes me stay
And all of your excitement
Seems in direct contravention
To the lives that we have lived
And the things we do not mention
But, in truth, I do not blame you
That you kicked off from the shore
It just hurt to know
You don’t love me anymore

Imperfection

It’s killing me but I’m not scared of death
If you’re wondering why I haven’t done anything yet
As you dare me to move from across the room
With your eyes fixed in a stare of impending doom
And I plead with you for rationality
Can’t you understand reality
And it feels like we are playing with spikes
Stick them into each other with all our might
And double or nothing all our pain
Cause we can’t get over what made it rain

Fire Brand

The eve of things yet to come
I’ve broken what you have undone
And shattered glass falls to a shell
You can’t silence rote learning hell
That paves a life that’s just a clock
I didn’t mean to let you unblock
But somehow in the clouded din
You saw through to who I am within
And all the pins clasping me together
Won’t withstand what I remember
When you stood me toe to toe
And looked at what you want you to know
Though it was against my will
The moment held us both so still
And burst into an intimacy
Like there was only you and me
On this whole earth, in this domain
I thought I understood your pain
As you gazed an eternal surrender
I sent the love returned to sender
So it was a double entendre
Outside of our depth and genre
In a place that no one sees
I adore what you have freed

Paper Planes

All of these words are just errant musings
The product of introspection and my perusings
And I wonder do they add to naught at all
Just the scribblings of a child in crayon on the wall
But it’s only when I write that I truly see
The breakdown of what is troubling me
And the way I can fix it or how it tapestries
Into the weave of earth’s cosmic mysteries
For there are some things for which no explaining
Could ever illuminate what you’re detaining
When reasons all fail you and you just cannot find
The evidence for your theory that the world is kind
But let it just blossom like the bloom of a bruise
As it spreads out in colours you use
And slowly heals up and returns to source
There are some things even man can’t divorce
Like his or her very own essence
The body is just the skin in which we are dressing
And never can amount to the sum total of us
There’s a power inside where I place my trust
So whether I be broken or raised up on high
I’m aware of that which can never die
And I have been both the bottom of the bowl
And the queen of plaudits but neither touch my soul
I just keep on keeping my cart in the race
And seeing the good in everyone’s face
And nobody worries about the self esteem of the bad
It seems like payback they lost all they had
As punishment reigns on their earthly domain
We say they deserve it when they feel pain
But what are we doing to our brothers and sisters
That we demean them as less in the things that we whisper
And spitefully reap what they could not sow
They’re dead in their eyes so I think I will go
But even if they’ve been bullet strung
They’re not the last step on the laddered rung
And all things of Earth will return to the Divine
It’s just we don’t see how the threads entwine
So forgive the mutineers for they know not what they do
In the words of Jesus and he’s talking to you
So as my broken pen fills out that lament
I send my love to you and that’s where it went

The Monumental Fire

I guess I just got caught in a monumental fire
One that burns me up and never seems to tire
Of eroding me right down to my core
I look to you for help and you tell me I need more
And I guess that you were scared of what I had to offer
Cause it threatened all you had and you needed something softer
But sorry I am made of magnetic steel
And there is no tempering how I feel
Like an ocean, like the sea, like an iceberg standing lone
I always seem to be missing my quintessential home
And I just thought you had it cause when I fell into your arms
You quieted my thoughts and silenced my alarms
And I felt a strange sort of peace descend on my soul
Like I had found the one thing I depend on to be whole
And how you matched my heart with your delicately so
I would have given all I had if you didn’t have to go
And leave me to depart on some far flung trek
I would have walked out on a wire and risked my neck
But to hear you deny me like I never even existed
Took more strength than I owned to have resisted
Crying out for the other half of who I am
And praying that you would understand
But your gaze turned icy cold
And I could see my entitlement in the way I started to fold
And break like that and come apart at the seams
I had always believed in the reality of dreams
And that what was foretold would come to pass
And that one time only love could do nothing but last
But the chains encroached and wrapped around like vines
And I couldn’t speak when you declared you were not mine
But belonged to another and were bonded at the core
When you know it is impossible you only want it more
But I let the full weight of it break my wooden frame
As I conceded to myself I was in love with a name
That stood for a symbol that I was longing to be
What I loved about you is you accepted me
With no conditions and no rules, no, just as I am
So when I shattered the stone I thought you would understand
But it seems there’s only so much you can take
And I will never speak to you again for your own sake
So go live your own life full of happiness and wonder
And I’ll remember how you moved my earth with your rolling thunder
How you cascaded rain down the panes of my vision
And how you hit me in the heart ruthlessly and with precision
And how you struck me on the spot and made me to be
The living embodiment of my own destiny

The White Patterns On The Wall

Beautiful designs paint patterns on the wall
As the faded white lines are designed to enthral
And stun my eyes into a kind of subtraction
That robs me blind of the power of action
And as I stay rooted on the one spot
I think of all the things that I am not
And never could grow up to be
In the conscience of silence it was never me
As I lost my purpose and my will to believe
In anything more than what’s up your sleeve
As you wound me in spindles that went round the earth
I grew up to learn that love could never hurt
Just the jealousy that accompanies that kind of attraction
Could you call it anything more than the king of subtraction
That steals from you the sweetest of feelings
And pours regret into all of your dealings
And how did I come to be bowed down so low
When it was so clear that you’re where I’m to go
And just like a shepherd trying to keep still the night
I don’t know if I harbour the vestiges of fright
For ever having seen an angel celest
I cannot deny that you are the best

Shoot

It’ll just cause a fight so I don’t bring you up
It’s ten times the trouble of a dropping well love
But the money I spend isn’t worth a damn
When I can’t proclaim that you are what I am
And I want to run to you and fall into your arms
Without setting off all these fire alarms
Cause I’m an inferno and I blaze on through
There’s no way I’ll be loving anyone but you
And if you doubt me then you can read my mind
To see all the people I left behind
Cause my heart could not settle on any less than the truth
I am the target so take aim and shoot
And if a bullet should spring forth from your soul
Then hit me hard and let the rest take its toll

The Puzzle

The puzzle strikes complete as it hits me in the heart
It’s like I am the target and you are the dart
As you soar through the sky that is infinitely air
But you know just where you’re going and you meet me there
And all the sideways wanderpaths that interrupt the course
Are just like the river and move without remorse
As everything finds its way and its balance, spirit level
I am the wild and free and there just is no telling
Where I will go next or if it will be true
I just know I’m home when I’m near to you

A Golden Cage

Do you expect me to thank you for my golden cage
It’s like a book asking a pencil if it could turn the page
And all of these bars make the heart inside me rage
Don’t think that I am playing or that this is just a stage
Cause I was born to be free and to speak the truth
To hold the burning of a fire that was born in my youth
And every day’s an episode of how to handle myself
But you could not give me money to compare to this wealth
Cause I am unbound and hurricane through all their just ideals
There is no limit to my madness or to the heart that feels
And however you may try there is no way to contain
The depth of this emotion or the searing of the pain
Cause it is meant to be lived through and to be understood
Not hidden in the darkness or swept under the rug
In the fountain of denial or the rivers of the mist
I will not be quiet or give in to just subsist

Atmosphere

She’s a star shining in your atmosphere
And I guess I really have nothing to fear
Cause that kind of love is never going to drop
You’ve sown a good harvest, now you reap the crop
But I guess sometimes in my wishful thinking
I wish it was my boat that you were sinking
As we wade out into the oceans deep
But you made a promise that you’re gonna keep
Once, long ago, to a heart that was true
What I want to say is I admire you

Unbroken

I know as sure as the light of day
That I am for you on my way
As sure as the stars shine from the sky
I was made to meet your eye
The way the sea is for the shore
I’m for you and so much more
As the land comes bursting forth
With craggy hillsides greening dirt
Bequeaths an ancient promise told
Your heart was made for me to hold
Your soul was made for me to shine
Where ruby gemstones intertwine
And lay you down once more again
Rest where you can call me friend
Whereupon the daydream first began
As fingers itched to hold your hand
And I bowed low to see you there
Wind whispered secrets through your hair
And left me open, undecided
Uncertainty has not abided
Life calls me to be beautified
So from you I no longer hide
But sentinel to stand on guard
Watch over you when times get hard
The earth has claimed me for its own
Be still for you, unmoving stone
Though rushing waters crowd the deep
The love between us does not sweep