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Cacophonous

The cacophony resounds in my bedroom

It plays to the sound of doom

And I try to run but I can’t get up from the bed

Til I peel myself away from it instead

As the many fangled locket dangles from the sky

Painting a different view, I don’t know why

As I try to overcome my flaws

I be the heat til the icicles thaws

But I’ve been so long in this state

I’m not sure that it would be great

To leave it all behind

The maya mind

And all it bequeaths

But I hear the call to kneel at the Guru’s feet

And you could call it many things

You could call it inside

It knows my name

And I’m terrified

To be the one to take the step

I don’t think I’m ready yet

But I’m pulled like a thread

Through the needle eye

I gave it up

And I don’t know why

Photo by Patrick Carr on Unsplash

0

Passing Through

We’re only passing through

We’re a whisper on a page

We are the bodies that we grow

And then again to age

We’re the midnight in the summer

When the moon is shining high

We’re the truth between the lines

On the paper where we lie

We’re the justice and the mercy

The all bequeathing love

We’re the hand that writes the heavens

In stars far above

We’re the darkness and the light

The fire we ignite

But among the chaos

I know we will be alright

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

0

Dancing

Dancing to a rhythm

That no one can see

There is music playing

But is it just me

Who can hear the call

Of the Divine

And endless reservoir

Of fine

And a diamond mine

In the grass

All you ever have to do

Is ask

0

The Ogre

The ogre

Eats me up again

He knocks on my door

And sends me into a spin

Like a washing machine

Or the depths of a dream

I roll

In endless currents of my soul

And dive deeper into the ocean again

I was free once, and I will be when

And I remember now

Under all the fray

That I am endlessly

Okay

And fine

I hopscotch to

This rhythm of mine

0

This Winter

The feeling of panic

Knarls in my stomach

Maybe this is too much to be

Maybe there’s so much yet to see

But the aching roars

And the spirit soars

To become an avalanche

Of my own making

And I count every one

Of the breaths I’m taking

In case I misplace one

Amidst the snow

The winter has gone on

For so long, you know

0

The Winter

The winter, it weathers

The brush and the grass

And I wonder about

That which will ever last

And you could call it God

You could call it Christ

It transcends death

It is Eternal Life

It goes beyond time

It goes beyond space

It is the Peace

That will never cease

It is the Love

To always abide

It is the Freedom

You don’t have to hide

Don’t have to cover

With shields and holds

It is the Wisdom

Inside our souls

It is the breath

It is the breathing

It is with me

And it isn’t leaving

Photo by Katarzyna Kos on Unsplash

0

Everywhere

The love, it abides

The music, it sings

Into worlds

Of everythings

To pierce

Your darkest night

Don’t you know

It’ll be alright

Because every hair

On your head is counted

And the emptiness

Is a hidden mountain

Of stability

That just remains

Regardless of

Time and pain

Regardless of

Lost ways

It’s all around

That’s what it says

Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

0

Vibrantly Alive

Peace is alive

It’s vibrating sound

It’s in the room

And it’s all around

It is the space

Within the form

It is the heat

That keeps us warm

That keeps us safe

Held in its hands

The permanent

Among the sands

Of time

That just change and wave

It is the Lord

And He will save

All of us

Come what may

There’s nothing that

You have to say

Photo by sunnie on Unsplash

0

The Calling

The Lord, He calls me

Into who I’m meant to be

Onto the road I’m meant to walk

I don’t want this to be all talk

But the evidence of Truth

To be alive, to be the proof

Of the goodness that knows no bounds

The silence within all the sounds

The love that is all abiding

It’s time to come out of hiding

Photo by Benita Anand on Unsplash

0

Grace

The Lord knows how to walk my shoes

And I know how to pay my dues

As he directs my glance

There’s no need for a second chance

As he makes my spirit dance

And a new way

To make headway against the tide

A way to live my life alive

A way to communicate to all Beings

The power of our shared seeings

The power of Grace to renew

And it is living in you

0

Awakening

The light it struck me in the dark

And I had to give up playing the part

Of the hard done by fool

It happened one day in school

Where the Divine called my name

Pulled me away from all blame

Unto a new dawn

And all the pain was gone

All the suffering that could ever be

Is just an illusion that you seem to see

But we are free as a bird

From the story we never heard

0

The Love of Letting Go

If you love something, you let it go

That’s what I’m doing here, you know

As I let go of my grip on the infinite

I think I just might be alright

And concede to life that death is king

He will take everything

Every stone and every blade of grass

And doesn’t ever think to ask

But there’s something even time can’t steal

It’s in the domain of the real

It’s pure and it’s refined

And far beyond the old mind

That would tell you this is that

And have you running like an alley cat

Up walls and over bins

Years lost in the din

Yet something finds me in the Now

I don’t know quite how

But it pulls me up by my boots

And still I grow deeper roots

To fulfill my nourishment

I need no encouragement

To be the light that I am

I move in waves without a plan

Image Credit: eberhard grossgasteiger at Unsplash.com

0

The Bright Lights

The lights shone from the sky

Bright and in awe and I don’t know why

As the days rolled into weeks

And the weeks into years

And I get by on just hiding my tears

And the best part of me

Doesn’t say a thing

She is just ancient 

And a bird on the wing

And if she could

Then she would sing

I loved and so 

I gave up everything 

Image Credit: Elen Laureano

0

Having To Let You Go

It's not that easy
All this having to let you go 
I didn't think
I'd have to do it, you know
I thought we could
Go on forever
But now every endeavour
Speaks of you 
As you go on with your life
And ardent devotion over strife
Seems to capture my days
And there are so many ways
To miss what we had 
And to regret 
What turned out bad
Could you forgive
If I live and let live
And consent 
To being the presence 
Where heaven went
0

Indefinability

Is it worth all the time
All this losing weight 
All the giving in
And shedding hate
Because time has come
For our true Self
To be revealed 
As nothing else
Than that we've 
Been searching for
Knock and the door
Opens from the inside out
I'm not the words
That come from my mouth
0

Translation

I write about no one
And nothing agrees
I am split level
I've got my degrees
And if you ask a question
Who is to answer 
Love is the way
And life is the dancer
To a new song
To a new word
And it's like the best
Sound you've ever heard
But this poem's just a tribute
It's not the real thing 
You know it when
You give up on this fling
That you've been caught in
That you've been living
And God is peaceful 
He is forgiving
So don't walk away
From all you own
Just listen to your heart 
As true colours are shown
As light and love
Break through and bask 
All you ever have to do
Is ask
0

Empty Air

The day it all dropped down by my side
Is the day I truly came alive
And there was nothing there
Just empty air
Nothing with the will to get by 
And I just basked in the vastness of the sky
I wasn't big and I sure wasn't small
Only aware of it all
And perceiving 
Something that was
Beyond believing 
And beyond reason in its perfect hue
There's nothing there I have to do 
Only make waves to lap the shore
And give in to worship all I adore
And once again, once more
I let go to open the door
0

Seasons

There is thunder in my footsteps
And rhythm in my feet
I’m like the shore lapping 
Where the waters meet

And every day’s a sigh
And every week I utter
The same old words
Against the window shutter 

And the house it creaks and groans
With every passing wind
The pain in my bones
A sign that I have sinned

And winter knows my name
It comes howling in
Only to give way
To let spring begin

And summer has its sound
And autumn its flavour
And every moment’s like a taste
That I give in to savour

As every month rolls round
To make another year
As I let go of all the lies
And am freed from the fear
0

Nickname

I've got a nickname
And it should be proof
That I do not live my life aloof
But streak in hair
And fabric that would dare
To set alight
And be the fire
To burn by night
To light the way
Of all the wanderers who stay
On the beaten track 
Now there is no way to turn back
On my side once more
In grace I do adore
The reflection of your face
I'm seeing you every place
I go or roam and for a moment
You were home
But I guess I see I have gone astray
And must refind the way
By the light of love
Descended on me like a white dove
Or fire and tongues
What it is to be young
1

Dream

Photo by Rachel Claire on Pexels.com
Why do I still love you
It should be through 
And over and done
But you're still the one
I hitch my wagon to
In the dark 
And the light without you
Is bare and stark
And everytime I hear your name
Something inside me starts
As the cobwebs are pulled apart
By effortless hands
And the slipping sands
Of time mean nothing now
Though as for what the space allow
I cannot say
Only you were the light of day
A little too soon
I visualise you in my room
Talking to me or looking that way
And to God I still pray
That you're okay 
And I stay 
At the centre of circle or wheel 
Of the heart that you steal 
Everytime you smile at me
And, Lord, you will always be
Like a tower to be seen
I think you were the answer to a dream
0

The Creative Impulse

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com
The creative impulse
Eats me up
You could call it
A kind of love
But it's relentless
It knows no way
To be easy 
On me today
The creative fire
The divine spark
Knows how
To tear me apart
1

A Desert City

Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on Pexels.com
A wasted desert city
In an island of storm
And I was only tryin' 
To keep myself warm 
But I've journeyed miles
Away from home
And it is with loneliness
That I roam
For you were a tower
You were complete
And I'm always falling down
At your feet
But you pick me up
With my cryin' eyes
See through layers
Of my disguise
And it's ancient
And ever new
And you're saying
I mean the world to you
0

Devotion

How can I be devoted to someone
Looking through a windowpane
It is ardent, it is true
But is it all in vain
Because he doesn't believe
A single word I'm saying
So all my tears come down
Falling like the rain

And he has a girl
So how do I compete
When I'm a mess of hair
Falling at his feet
It's just that he makes me
Feel so damn complete
And I cannot deny
The cuteness when we meet

And is it all a movie scene
Do I play the damsel in distress
And is he the hero 
To save me and the rest
And could you call this anything
But a fair request
I was dancing in the storm
In my favourite dress

And where do we go from here
Is it a nothing that we are
Am I Victoria
And not the fallen star
I just know that he has 
Every piece of my heart
Held within a frame
Where they once were apart

And is this all nonsense
I'm scribbling on a page
I was close to crying 
And he was full of rage
But, oh, the image of you
It could stand for an age
When you're talking to me
I am not afraid

And I cannot find the answer
Nor can I write it out
It seemed you played a song 
That is what I'm about
And I cannot not hear
When you veritably shout
And all the words are
Just spilling from my mouth

And does it matter what they all think
Does it matter what they say
Because I really don't think
This feeling's going away
And I wished I had asked you
Years ago to stay
And not degenerate
Into a child's play

So who am I to you now
Am I anything at all
Because I've been calling for you
For eons down the hall
And each and everytime
I meet with a brick wall
Just before I go
Freefalling through it all

And we have friends in common
Is it just a Facebook scene
Am I Katy Perry
And you the teenage dream
And are all the cobwebs
Not what they may seem
You stun me like a laser 
Coming through on a moonbeam

And if it all is worthless
And left in the past
Is there any room
For me still to ask
Can we be on friendly terms
In the sun to bask
Because I know within
That this is built to last

And if I'm really crazy
You know I was locked up
Is there space to verbalise
Just what I'm thinking of 
Is it against your wishes
That I might call this love
And bless it with the rain
That falls from above
1

The Wisdom of Non-Attachment

Do I have to let it all go
Everything, everyone
To radiate the light
Of the Son
And I've always loved Jesus
He is my defender
He's been there since
Before I can remember
And he picked me up 
When the going got tough
Was the dry land
When the seas got rough
And I've changed so deeply
And in so many ways
But I'm still the same
Or so He says
And love is not antithetical 
To devotion
When it is ardent and true
And not all commotion
And he has placed a man
At the forefront of my gaze
That I can share life with
For the rest of my days
And do I refuse
Do I turn him down
This ocean is not
A place I want to drown
0

Inexplicable

There's nothing I can say
That explains what I mean
The closest I can come to
Is that life's a dream

But that's even in the story
It's not waking up
I guess you could call it
A kind of love

But it's not static
It's dynamic and moving
Like clouds on the run
That needs no improving

And I want to say
That you should trust yourself
Don't be depending 
On anyone else

Not even on me
And the light I see
In the depths of my heart
Is where you'll always be

Not hidden away
But burning with fire
All heat from the furnace
That only gets higher
0

Malas

Am I wearing 
Malas to the Supreme
Waking up
Though I'm still in a dream

And is it Grace
All of the falling apart
I can't deny
That I've got heart

And are my assumptions
To the contrary unfounded
Was it through open fields 
I bounded

And I can feel it lift
Here or there
The tumbling structures 
That I wear

And do we build God 
Or is he real
And is realisation
More than just what I feel
0

Rushing Water

I saw you like a hero
Like a saviour in the stream
Like a wild songwriter
Surfing a moonbeam
And you have got your failings
As everybody must
And though I see them clearly
There’s something I still trust
Like the darkness in your eye
Unconquerable and deep
Or the innocence of a child
Lost in a sleep
And I know that I can’t have you
Im not sure if I ever could
I just wrote to tell you honestly
That I still would
Hold your hand so gently
So softly and sincere
You still mean it all
It all to me, my dear

0

As deep as the ocean

As wide as the sea

Is the reservoir

Inside of me

0

Hidden Saviour

I saw Jesus in your eyes
Did I ever tell you so
Well I wasn’t supposed to
So I guess that’s a no
And I’d always loved
My hidden Saviour
He never reprimanded
Me my behaviour
Only spoke softly
To point out the way
Picked me up from the earth
When it wasn’t going away
And for a moment
I thought you had stole
The power of safety
The man in my soul
So I turned away
Only to hide
I’ve got to keep
My Jesus alive
But there’s an impending
Crucifixtion
I wonder can you read it
In my diction

Artwork: Jared Emerson – Face of God

0

The Songstress

I saw the shadow of my soul in the indent of his eyes
I took it on the chin and it took me by surprise
Like the sun and the moon forever apart
Until that time of day when they both take heart
And you’re not a perfect person, I could list your flaws
And there is an ice inside that never thaws
But I saw you in the ash though you hid in the smoke
And you handed me a fiver when I was going broke
But I am no beggar, at least not anymore
And I am tired of knocking at the same damn door
When I know the truth is this, you’re not who I sought
Although you just might be the best lie I ever bought

Image: https://www.prosveta-usa.com/the-secret-of-polarity

0

A Heartfelt Quote

A mysterious presence
An unspeakable quiet
My life was a hoot
Man it was a riot
Til it all burned down
Back into ash
I once was impulsive
Yeah I used to be rash
Go storming in
And storming back out
Never knowing when
To shut my mouth
As the chains encircled
I felt the vice
Til it trapped me there
It wasn’t nice
Then she walked right in
With the softest arms
Told me she’d
Keep me from harm
Told me she’d
Never let me go
And, well
She didn’t, you know
And the blush it colours
Her cheeks so red
Every time I repeat
Just what she said
That she loved me so
And would always be
Here with me
Eternally

0

Illusion

Its not something about you
Its intrinsicality
And I am only now
Beginning to see
That the same is true
For my own dear self
Indeed if we are talking
Is there anybody else
It was nothing that you said
It was nothing that you did
It was just the simple light
The simple light that’s his
That shines from every eye
From each and every pair
A subtle reminder
Of something that is there
But when I look in the mirror
All vacant and numb
Losing the looks
I never had when I was young
I see nothing but peace
Papered over with skin
Its nothing about me
Its just that I am him

Image Credit : nsn on Pinterest

1

Beaches

Leave up your tools
Leave up your weapons
Your weariness
And your confessions
Your striving to
Be better than most
Your kneeling to
The Holy Ghost
Give it all up
And follow me now
Into the depths
Of what I’ll allow
Into the chasm
A cave of sorts
There’s no one left
With whom to consort
Give up your tired
Old way of thieving
And all your absence
Of believing
All the ways
You rid yourself
Of the world
And everything else
Give up the struggle
For you’ve struggled in vain
To hold my hand
Under the rain
I bring the Sun
For I am That
Follow me now
And don’t look back

0

It Itself

The one who’s troubled
And the one who sees
Share the same place
And so I grieve
For I am only
Occupancy
For all that I
Will never be
Til a different movement
Takes my hand
Collapse the ground
Upon which you stand
Collapse the mount
You made yourself
For it can’t be done
By anyone else

0

The Opposite

Not my will
But thine own be done
The power of
The Holy One
The Power of
The Immortal Being
That’s looking through
These eyes as Seeing
That lifts my arm
So I can walk
That moves a body
So it can talk
That causes subtle
Fade aways
Like stars
At the end of days
That causes love
That points out hate
So everything is kept
In its place
That secret, hidden
Silence underneath
That’s walking as
My path to feet
That’s moving as
My blood to air
The peace that
Just isn’t there
The Nothing that
Can e’er be touched
And all that
I love so much
Is fueling a different
Roundabout
As it is pouring
Out my mouth
Back to home
Back to Now
I bring myself
To You and bow

Image: http://iamdarrynzewalk.com/kneel-pray-and-let-god/

0

Hong Kong

Sailing a ship to the furthest forever
Irrespective of bad weather
Setting sail upon the tide
Life or death I’ll be alive
As the wind lifts me high
Upon the mast that I fly
No grounded bird to always be
But on the wings of the free

Image Credit: Aqua Luna Hong Kong

0

Fallen Trees

Lost to the ravages of time
Was the golden that used to be mine
That holy light
I’d touch the air and ignite
Now, no more
Every knock upon a closed door
But like she said
When different demons were in my head
Sometimes the way
Is made so you can’t even say
Yes to this or no to that
All you know is you can’t go back
In your dusty boots
Stumbling the rest of the route
Any water, please?
No, my dear, learn how to grieve
In the arid sun
I guess there’s still a Golden One

Image Credit: Huff Post, Becoming a desert girl

0

Consciousness

The consciousness contracts
Into a denser state
I was the world
Now I’m just a place
But no matter what
They say or do
There is something they
Can’t take from you
Something they can’t
Lay hands upon
Something you gave
So now its gone
Something you love
That will always be
Within, without
Eternally

Image Credit: https://8tracks.com/chimericalist/cosmic-love-a-space-fanmix

2

White Fire Love

I saw the White Light
I saw Supreme
In an instant I
Woke from the dream
But upon rising
I found myself
In the same damn place
As everyone else
And yet I split the sun
It shone from the cracks
The glass had shattered
And now I can’t go back
But falling to thieves
I stumbled forth
And they stole from me
With no remorse
I offered hands
I offered bread
They took all
And left me for dead
Now here in the gutter
I stare at the sky
With a star sparkling
In my eye

Image Credit: Florence + the Machine

0

Bodhi Tree

Sitting underneath the Bodhi tree
It is just the Bodhisattva and me
And we do not talk, we do not converse
He sings in lyricism and I in verse
How could I be but a passing thread
Playing a tune to call the dead
And are we what they told us then
I lose faith to find it again
To find it on ground that knows the earth
Soil that could never be dirt
Air that is always pure
An angel in a dream demure
And when it is half past ten
I get up and leave the door again
For consciousness is but dreaming prose
And waking, the one I chose

0

Infinity

I delay the Infinite
In losing myself to the trite
In losing myself to the come what may
Oh Lord, what I put off until another day
And yet it can never even be said
That glorious feast, the wonderous spread
Though I can’t bear to take a taste
For fear of what goes to waste
I see the Sun upon the hill
But mine eyes only ring until
I close them to the Holy Light
Enveloped in my own midnight
Oh Saviour, do you know the cause
It gives me breath, it gives me pause
Til the speaking once more utters itself
And kneels me down upon someone else
Do you know the Source, do you know the Spring
Where the water rises from Within
Do you know the Sea, do you know the route
As it comes home to the Truth
I have no greater tale than this
I fell upon what I cannot miss
And everywhere, wherein I be
It is all that I can see
No multitude, diversity
Just the Silence in the tree
Whereon he died, under which he sat
So many stories but I am That
In the eyes of what you can’t see
Will destiny come back for me?

0

Yeshua

The tears are falling from Yeshua’s eyes
When I look inside I see everybody dies
And he’s got bullets in his hands and feet
Salty water where the rivers meet
And I do nothing to testify
I just sit in my room, contemplate and cry
Missing the whole point of the dear thing
He gave up his body so I could sing
He gave up his mind, he gave up will
And I’ve given nothing but a promise until
The seas roar and the clouds overshadow
What’s growing inside my fields so fallow
And I will yield it all at the break
Give what they never even thought to take
That flesh may come and flesh may go
But it happens within what I do not know

0

B5

Through the eye of deficiency
Through the needle of storm
I find the place
Where the heat is still warm
Where courage abides
And beauty abounds
Where silence is heard
In the absence of sound

0

Guruji

The Grace of Guruji
Manifesting in my life
I didn’t know the Truth
Until you came into my life
I had ideas
I had games
I had bodies
I had names
But I never had my Self
Can such a thing be said
Thought you knew Beauty
Only after you were dead
But illusion crashed down
Like a tree upon the hill
Breaking all the branches
I had clung unto at will
Til monkey mind is no more
Walking out the door
I didn’t know that I was lying
Til I stood up from the floor

0

The Mysterious

I sit on the stool and hold his hand
He says, “It’s ok, I’m fine, be grand”
And I know that it’s true
But it doesn’t take depth away from you
He sighs the air
And I feel the weight of all that is there
“Look, See”
He turns around again to me
And the silent storm
The colour of tide we all call warm
And I see the shadow of another day
The ashes that burnt away
It’s me too
I look back again to you
Two eyes that peer
And in that moment, crystal clear
Subtle defeat
In the sound of my own heartbeat

0

Movement

The wayfaring stranger
The wandering soul
The infinite sky
The dark black hole
You move like the sea
You breathe like the air
You love like fire
And just being there
You lit up my life
Like a starshot stream
You woke up the lion
And ended the dream
You left like the night
Before the dawn
And what can’t be seen
Is never gone

Image Credit: @partyrosalipsx https://pin.it/wjwfj4qwnfl275

0

Matter and Form

I move with the sea
In tides I roll
Everybody compresses
Their immortal soul
Down into matter
Down into form
Down into just
Keeping the bed warm
And I don’t have the answer
Don’t know the explain
Why the wind comes in sheets
And the air blows in rain
But I know this much
Though I don’t as much say
That life comes in waves
To keep things at bay

Image Credit: Elentori on DeviantArt

0

Dust

Kissing dust at the edge of the sky
The feeling of wanting to both live and die
As I come apart slowly in your hands
Salty water where sea meets the sands
And there are no firestorms here
Only candlelight and your breath in the mirror
To quench the fog I’ve held for so long
To bring me back to where I belong
Resting as always by your side
Within is without and I am alive
Now that I know what I’ve kept at bay
The something inside that’s not going away

Image Source: https://pin.it/elju6ednwy7wob

4

Anthropology

The anthroplogist in me
Wants to see this bird set free
Wants to see this bird fly home
To a place that is her own
But all the arching backs to see
Like cats on windowpanes to be
Even though the going’s long
I think, I know, I’m not wrong

2

Double Take

Did I mess up

The wind whistles windowpanes through my cup

And I see the fault was with you and not

With me, in my fiction glance

But does he wanna dance?

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