Transcendence is key
And are you talking to me
Coz your breath is light against my cheek
He didn’t know that he made me weak
As he strode across the floor
Like he was going door to door
Looking for me
But I’m right here, or don’t you see
And I grab his hand in the dark
Ignore the way it makes him start
Then throw a conspiratorial look across the aisle
Was I wrong or did I catch you smile
And break the sun across your face
Living the lie is an unholy disgrace
I was young and stupid
To turn you down
I wore a cool dress
Would you be around
And you’ve got eyes
That go on for eons
And I’m just staring
Trying to capture scenes
Of college and cool
And red as a ruby
It doesn’t take Einstein
Or Scooby
Doo
To figure out
I like you
There is no doubt
And your fortress is just a wall
And I ask you to let them fall
As we hold hands
Throw your arm over my shoulder
And I feel as though the boulder
That I carry has dropped away
And I’m lost for words to say
Coz you leave me speechless, in awe
And I can feel my icicles thaw
In the warmth of your soul
Your fire is embers glowing coal
And the heat is burning away
All the barriers I hold at bay
Do you think that we
Could rock out and see
Everything there is to be
It took some time but you’re dear to me
And I hold a candlelight for your frame
I stutter the words that make up your name
Do you think it would be the same
If I took to the road and you airplane
Over my fields so green
It’s oceans I have seen
In the age of you
There’s nothing you have to do
To be the pure you effortlessly are
I see you reflected in a star
I know he loves me no matter what you say
That doesn’t mean I expect him back any day
It’s just that heart, once shared is given
And stitches itself into all your livin’
I just know he beats
His heart with every step on the streets
And is whole
He loves with all of his soul
And I’m happy for her
But we still were
Though time has passed
And I don’t know what for
I don’t know if you see
That love shines eternally
From every form
The sun itself lives to keep us warm
And I know there is
More than surface tension on the water we live
To hold up
I’m more than what you’re thinkin’ of
I spend all of my time talking to the voice in my head
Is it telepathy or resident dread
And I don’t expect you to believe
That to stare at the mirror is to grieve
Looking at the reflection of something temporal
Is it empty or I would venture full
Of wit and wisdom and midnight tomes
Clicking away from the habit of homes
That seem to populate my tv screen
Was it real or just a dream
A nightmare I can wake up from
The leaving of loss of everything’s gone
In a moment I’m real and see inside
Give up the venture capital to hide
Within this little hut I’ve built
Giving advice but the talking has stilled
Into an ever present calm
Do you read lines or just hold my palm
Against yours for a moment or so
A secret handshake you thought to show
Me in our intimate endeavor
I know I’m innocent but this is forever
And I won’t paint another colour blue
Over the one that came from you
As the sky holds the memory of us
And there’s something I implicitly trust
That is between us two
I had faith and it brought me you
Maybe not in the way I had thought
But like a soldier that’s been caught
In a single glance you stare
The Earth quaked as you stood there
Looking past the facade
It’s a moment and I want you bad
To be what you’ve always been
If you’re the King and I’m the Queen
Can we give up the reign
Coz it only brings us pain
In attempting to be what we never were
I wish you well for
What it’s worth at any rate
You looked at me
And there was another state
That just seemed to embrace
And I find that the sight of your face
Inspires prose
This is me
And the less travelled road
Getting drunk in the city
Darragh’s cute and Johnroy is witty
And Liosa and Isabelle are so pretty
Im too smart and that’s a pity
And I feel lost in the move of the club
Marian holds my hand as we walk round the pub
And it’s a sprawling mess but it’s divine
The days UCD was mine
And I did less learning than ever before
Don’t you see how the sun lit up the floor
As we did a skit about being D4
I’d never been that sassy before
But it only made us closer as a group
And I was just sitting on the stoop
When he laughed and told a joke
And he smiles so I don’t have to cope
With this damn state of mind that’s dragging me under
He is the clouds
But I am the thunder
And I just rumble
Into the town that we own
He’s older than me
But you never would’ve known
As he bought me a drink
That said don’t think
Too much about those things
He makes a face and my heart sings
He throws his arm casually round my shoulder
And I feel I’ve just dropped the boulder
That I’ve been rolling up this hill
He lets me see his heart at will
It’s lockdown and I’m thinking of him
Wondering if he kept that grin
And nothing burns like gasoline
You’re the fire in my dream
And I never told you what you wanted me to
Could you see that I love you?
And he probably has a furnace to build
He’s the red in my heart and it cannot be filled
With the memory of what we were
Can I present tense the moment I’m her
As we’re running down aisles and chasing down stars
And Rob, you know, he plays guitars
And I just wish I could be involved
Coz this damn problem’s never solved
But I wouldn’t change it, because we met
I hold a space in my soul for you yet
I think Eckhart underestimates the human race
And I’m not saying this just to save face
Coz I can feel an expansive motion of tide
Pulling me somewhere to abide
And it’s everywhere, in everyone
Shining brighter than the light of the sun
Bequeathing honesty and tomes
Pulling people out of their alones
Into a space where all is real
And it is everything I feel
Coz the man changed my life, he brought the stars
And I let go of my hold on my prison bars
Always a safe place to suffer in
But the water is kinder and I begin
To wade myself into the river deep
I’m awake when people sleep
And it is a promise I always keep
To find the truth and then to speak
But the going is challenging by the sea
Though I figure out it’s my destiny
Handing out hope like tomorrow’s bread
Letting love live my life instead
And the openness is something that I find
Is quintessentially good and abundantly kind
And I really do not mind
If no one sees what’s left behind
Because I pick up and origami the paper
It’s all the one and you’ll see it later
If you don’t see it now in open hands
The Universe and our well laid plans
I’m seventeen and listening to YouTube
When I didn’t really like any dude
Just studying for my exams
Steady heartbeat but sweaty palms
And it was a year of tragedy
But it also gifted my life to me
As I stand up to the sea
And do you think he meant me
When he spoke that syllable on the phone
A moment together and then alone
As we try to catch stars as their speeding past
You know meteor showers aren’t meant to last
Her Teflon coating
Made it feel like floating
But she was hit by an arrow in the heel
With no way to cut a deal
And she clambered back up the cliff they pushed her off
It was truth and love but at what cost
As she breaks the frame
That used to hold together her house and name
And I loved her so in the days before dark
Before I walked alone through the park
In the surreptitious midnight that just visit
I think this is the way but is it?
Coz we’re both so strong
But we both went wrong
In the labyrinth of the garden
Could you give me an official pardon?
Stuff I say to you
I was watching the bird and it flew
Out the window from inside
And this landscape can’t hide
The shape of you from me
I loved you so I set you free
But you come back to be
As constant as a northern sea
In the winter of ill repute
And you’re more devastating
Than you are cute
But I like my men like thunderclouds
The rolling sound just makes me proud
To be standing under a western sky
And I have no fear over what will die
Coz something’s not passing
Constant true
As I revealed myself to you
In a winter past, long ago
But it’s just the start
Of the story, you know
On this journey to forever
The path winds but this endeavor
Keeps sailing through the storm
I would like to keep you warm
There are so many things
In life that pass away
Made me ask
Does anything stay
And I found in the dark
An unbeatable light
It’s shines through the veil
Til everyone’s alright
And it’s taking to task
The body I walk
Makes me speak
Not merely talk
And it loves and it cares
But it is detached
Unlocks the door
Even when it’s latched
It goes up and over
Here and beyond
Answers questions
Like a dumb blonde
With the smarts
I looked it’s way
And suddenly it starts
To shine
For the whole world to see
Don’t you know
It’s not about me
But about the fabric
Becoming paper thin
He saw the real
So I let him in
What used to seem so sure
Is now disappearing over the hill
Can change change me
Or do I swear it never will
As I hold onto who I used to be
But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see
The ocean is not held in a span
And will I do what I can
To be a modern example of what is true
What’s possible for me and you
As we share a world unique
But I do not dare to speak
My voice though it reverberate
Around the hall as we equate
Together with just being there
I’ve learned from love and I do care
Though shapeless you see
Me in a way and integrity
Has me burning a fuse in my mind
To always be awesome and super kind
And fearless with courage to bear
The way the fabric tear
On this dream of us
I found true love and in it I trust
There’s a hundred million souls
Hanging round this joint
But somehow you’re the one
My heart anoint
And ignite like a signal fire
In those days I never tire
Of my rebound nature
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later
And he passed like a comet across the sky
Proclaiming that which will never die
In a moment we are as One
And he merged with the Son
To shine a light so bright the sound goes deaf
To all that is and isn’t left
In the ashes that burn up into flame
A phoenix by everything but name
And he’s lovely and normal and sweet as pie
And I just want him to see me cry
To let him in through the facade
The bulletproof and feeling bad
To this garden where everything grows
And there’s a flower here for you, God knows
That’s been ten years in the making
There are no tales worth the shaking
The run away induced
But you are here and I’ve deduced
That everything will be okay
Will you ever look at me that way
Again
And men
Just remind me of us
Our solid steel and unbreakable trust
I gotta know
If there’s light in this
And we are One
Though we’ve never kissed
Just waited on the venture
To pull something through
Like I’m a needle and thread
Weaving tapestry of you
And you’re beautiful, all angels wings
And when he talks, my heart, it sings
And there are tomorrows and there are yesterdays
But we’ve been together in so many ways
All of them taut as a string
Looking for love and what it could bring
But the seasons change and time moves on
By your side I always belong
And is it just an approximation
The screen on a tv station
To make something appear, then away
And I’m not lost for what people say
But know this for true
There’s a reason I’m beautiful around you
There were times I thought;
Things like that only happen in America
But now an Irish flag is flying
On hills I don’t agree with
Declaring the ruination of all that used to be
And how it was empty and vapid
Relentless in its desire to control all of us
I look at the clock again
It’s half past six
But time is moving and never sticks
To the floor like the day I heard
And you could shoot every single bird
I wouldn’t notice
Coz you’re gone
The only place that I belong
Standing by your side
Now I hear your name and I run and hide
Because it brings up convulsions I cannot repair
One minute you’re standing there
The next air
That I breathe in
And even thoughts of him
Can’t take away the ashes of my loneliness
Written in biro like an address
As I scribble my name
I love you so I won’t be the same
But are the hackles drawn on my wilderness
That I would ever confess
A taut string like grief
And my belief
Is to hide it from everyone
Shine like I’m the fucking sun
Collapsing in on itself
A black hole to eat the life that is its wealth
And welcome any stragglers into its dusky fold
I’m getting old
You can measure it by how you perceive the years
They move so fast there’s no time for tears
Coz the ebbing will flow
And what came down must let go
Of its hold on this misty night
Is it okay if I am alright?
You can’t stop the slow march of time
You can only reveal the effortless sublime
And Obama sang for yes we can
But could the answer really be a man
Who could lead us all to peace
But it gets worse before the trouble cease
And we all clamber, fighting the tide
Did you notice you’re alive
Or are you so lost in the stream
That you don’t see beyond the edges of the dream
As it binds you with its swell
So much so that you can’t tell
What is true or supposition
Til pain hits you with its ammunition
And we have got to learn how to deal
With the fabric that Reality steal
To make into a dress or suit
And is Truth a just pursuit?
I was walking through the leaves in a wilderness tone When it hit me that I was already at home And I looked in his eyes and I saw the Sun He looked at me and saw the One And the reflection mirrored itself to me Dazzling along an infinity As we march to the beat of time I relinquish the dream where he is mine To command and to own It's been years but we've both grown Up and out in separate ways I love him a lot but he never stays Always open to a new endeavor I thought love was the only endeavor But it seems that self realisation takes the place Of the days I spent trying to save face As I reveal myself to him Find the snippet of a grin That spreads across feigned innocence I dunno if you're due for rent But I'm out to buy It's you and I don't know why
Running like a colt through fields of grass I found an eternal that will ever last Or it found me Lost in a mire of indignity At fourteen It was a crack in the facade of the dream And the light got in And it just happened to be shining on him When we came across each other A supersister and a soulbrother To barely touch but to meet The lines that parallel our feet As we move them to and fro Try to find meaning before we go And I don't know where he is right now Coz I stopped working the clock somehow And he's cool with the brush of wisdom My identity became a prison I let go like the empty leaves That blow from the trees In autumn when it's time And I try on calling you mine As you take a step to the foreign shore I can't help but love you more As you reveal yourself to me I realise that to be free Is to have your arms locked like a vice Around me for the first time, twice
The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane And if I lose is there something to gain Coz I see you over there, from afar You're radiant, a celestial star And I just don't know what you are But you raise the bar On all that's yet to come When you get older you realise that you're still young On the verge of thirty three Never realised old age would come to me Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend There's a beginning, middle and end To every story that you ever tell But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well Coz it's all that there is And I'm still His As he moves the atoms in waves around The nucleus with a doppler effect sound And am I just trying to be smart I made studying seem like an art Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up On the institution I used to love But it brought me somewhere I've never been Something I couldn't even think to dream And I always thought I'd be a writer But I hate conflict so please don't fight her And if there's something to say Could you please utter it in a kind way Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose But I just don't want to lose As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine I let go of the life that's mine To be held in the expansive note Of a God I can barely quote Without referring to old wisdom But I think light might be a prism When you bend it to refract I saw the truth, now I can't go back
Money is the language Western culture speaks
While in the East we wonder who eats
As we clamber together a mountain of rocks
And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks
Do we really know where we’re going
I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing
Do I have a destiny to live up to
Or am I just throwing shapes at you
As I move in the room through the embrace of air
The nothing that’s something and ever there
As we all return to the Tao that gives birth
To learn and live the lessons of hurt
Of the pain that transforms
Mere weather into thunderstorms
There’s no way back now
We’ve got to find a new way somehow
To cut a swathe through the tide
Really breathe while we’re alive
And we may have realized
That we’re all living under blue skies
But we hide behind each tree we find
Conceptualize it with the power of mind
And search for a way to be secure
But don’t you know we’re all born pure
And I’m not trying to catch you out
But don’t you think it’s good to doubt
And question what you don’t understand
The life of the free is never planned
But an unfoldment in Universal degree
I may be wrong but hey, that’s just me!
Is Jeremy with ya
Are ya reading the news
It’s all I can do
Not to lie on the pews
Coz the sunshine is storming
To a degree
I wasn’t looking
When it struck me
And I fell from on high
With a thunderous jolt
Cascading oblivion
An electric volt
10,000 pulsing micro equations
I find truth on tv stations
As I flick the remote to and fro
I thought you would just know
If I let it resound
It’s like the chains don’t know they are bound
Until they fall to the clanging ground
With an unearthly shake
It was the first breath I knew how to take
I see myself standing on a stage
Standing up for that which does not age
And we all cascade like a waterfall
Into the ocean to enthrall
And I don’t know who I’m gonna be
I just know the open sea
Is pulsing within my veins
It doesn’t go by the normal names
Just something infinite
You know you’ll be alright
I used to blaze a trail
I was always on fire
If you get the down low
It’ll take you higher
And I had a taste
Of the Immaculate Heart
Found something within me
That will never depart
Then I lost faith
And all in ruins
Went day drinking
With howareya’doin’s
Til I
Hit the floor
And at rock bottom
There was a trapdoor
That let me out
Or let me in
I sign my name
In love with him
And he sees me there
Upon a hill
Does destiny decide
Or some higher will
About whether or not
We’re meant to be
Til I found myself
Down on one knee
Professing all I can’t contain
Like the clouds when it starts to rain
And, aghast, he grips a chair
“But I thought there was nothing there”
Now I’m all at sea
And must accept the calamity
That follows my footsteps down the road
I kissed a prince
And found a toad
And I’m laughing, laughing
Coz there’s nothing wrong
And he leads with the power of song
Always to his beholden one
And I wouldn’t wish them undone
For any power in the world of man
I smile but I don’t know how you can
Let this be and let this go
I just wanted you to know
You were the soundtrack of my summer year
And I’m gonna always hold you dear
And visualize my own scene
I’ll meet you somewhere, maybe when you dream
In avenues and wonder spells
It was lovely, our show and tell
Am I trading on my innocence
And the forest gets more dense
As I try to discern
That which simply doesn’t burn
In the fires of time
And would it be a glorious crime
To admit the steady part of me
That just will not let ok be
And I traverse the hills
The loss of all my aforementioned skills
Til I’m kneeling by the shore
The monument that I adore
An empty ocean sea
That is pumping the heart of me
The body is aging
It passes through time
As I try to capture
What is mine
But it eludes my grasp
Like the finest sand
Points me toward the shore
So I understand
And it’s fearless, it’s true
It’s innocent pure
It’s the one thing
That you can be sure
Not to fail you
When the midnight rings
And I can feel it
When she sings
Of love, of beauty
Of something beyond
And they had her down
As a dumb blonde
But she points the way
She leads the charge
Picks you up off the floor
When times get hard
And I can’t ignore
The magnanimous effect
She had upon me
When the dream was wrecked
And I pulled myself away
From what I abhor
Beyond the recognition
Of what I was before
And the signs desert me
Though their pointings fable
Tell me to get up
If I’m able
But another blow comes in
From the west
With the flavor of something
I detest
And I know, I know
I should be serene
And chasing a crown
Only means you’re no queen
Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know
But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go
As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind
I keep wondering what I left behind
And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin
I just feel like dancing when I talk with him
And what’s going on is not what it appears
I’m not laying all my life on you, dears
I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge
Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his
And he owns the motions I make through the air
It was just a moment but we both were there
To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting
I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting
For the first time again after so long
Is the seat by your side where I belong?
The monsters are man made
They live in the attic
They crackle like telephone
Under the static
They brew like a soup
Under the sink
Dare you to do
Something crazy like think
And I lie in my bed
And the horrors maintain
There’s nothing lost
If there’s nothing to gain
If outside is inside
The window you touch
You learn to let go
Of what you love so much
And in winter the fire’s
Warming the hearth
But I’m still scared
Of what hides in the dark
Under the moonlight
Of another season
Like the way I love you
Without reason
And it makes no sense
But the tide will crash
Against the stone
And turn all to ash
Like the waves of duty
To abide
I see the truth
And I confide
It on paper
To the sky
What comes will go
What’s born will die
But what’s ever present
Will remain
Beyond the ocean
As terrain
I could be overestimating my appeal
Like the man is gorgeous, he’s a steal
It’s just I’ve got this gut intuition
That I could be gunpowder to his ammunition
And is it all attraction or is it something more
I could see myself calling to his door
And answering him when I pick up the phone
Not have to spend every minute alone
But he clasps my words like it’s my hands
He’s spaciousness and he understands
Though he may have made a blunder or two
He’s got my number and I’m replying to you
Here lies my truth, at least, so far
I walk away but I leave the door ajar
So you can come in if you need
Don’t think that I can’t see you bleed
Over there from afar
I’d love to pick you up in my car
So we could just go for a drive
Revel in the being alive
And you smile so truly I almost cave
Fall in love with who I try to save
As we walk the streets of Liverpool
And you’re helluva cool
And I could never understand
Why you decide to drop my hand
And let it all go to waste
Do I get to see your face
Again, not upon a screen
But as real as you could ever dream
Do I get to touch your skin
And let you know what I am to him
Coz we’re all flyers in the wind
And is there anyone who hasn’t sinned
In some great way or minor
You speak the truth and underline her
So that I know where to place my pen
Forever begins all over again
To the sound of Picturehouse
You command the screen, I click the mouse
But do you think that we could be
Together in a way that’s free
And I can’t deny the hold he has
But is it just karma and all that jazz
Is my soulmate someone, you
My twin flame to fly back to
Somewhere I thought I was
But there’s no reason for a just cause
Like the moment headlong too
When I just fell into you
And you laughing caught me there
I can tell by the way you hold my stare
That we are something for the age
Not writing on a white blank page
But laughter in the growing old
Making memories the future’s told
To all that we were back then
You were the best, can we do it again?
Alvarez looks like you, you know
And I’m thinking ‘bout you when I walk in the snow
As I wonder where in the world you might be
Looking out at the scene I think you see
Coz you’re diamonds, you’re shining, you’re just like a star
Oh, what can I ever say that you are
Coz you looked at me like you think that I’m fly
And will I meet you again while the sun’s still in the sky
While we’re both still young or at least not old
And my story of you will not be untold
Coz you’re golden, you’re fire, you’re burning red
And you seem to knock walls I’ve built in my head
Monuments to an age old crime
And I’m not convicted though I’ve done my time
Trodding through a heavy fold
You’re bought but baby you’re never sold
You’re the best of me
No defense, just like I’m free
As I stop you on the street
It’s freezing but do you feel the heat
As you’re stuck for something to say
And I look in your eyes, is that okay
And I see you pause
But I’m not breaking any laws
As I say I saw your pics
The moment, do you remember it
When you looked a questing answer
In the face as I dance her
Into your arms and out again
But do you swear we’ll always be friends
As I hit you up to just say hi
Here’s hoping that there’s no goodbye
Hiding part of myself
Had me holding onto mental health
As the only way to steady the ground
As it shakes to the sound
Of white noise and light
I’m one of the boys and I’m alright
As I take a sip of a drink
Then throw the rest of it down the sink
Coz I want to keep my nerves
As something that serves
Me instead of fighting a war
Coz both sides lose what the winnings for
As the turmoil draws you in
Ducks in a row like lines of sin
And the winter seems to last forever
But you haven’t seen the last of this endeavour
As I grapple with the ghost that throws me down
I’m in the ring and out of town
As they all call my name
I say goodbye to the chains of shame
Do I really want you to come a little closer
You’re just like a ghost
With the flavors of nothing
And what I love the most
I see you shy away and I avoid
Being one of the girls
You’re not one of the boys
But you dance
Like Heaven has given you another chance
To be all you are
The wonderful bridge
Constellatory star
That just shines
Like gleaming diamonds in gold mines
I pick one up
But it just reflects the look of you, love
And we’re one again
Outside the realm of women and men
Just to be what is
He holds my hand and I am his
To recalculate
All that has me in a lowly state
Where do I walk
And is all my effulgence just mere talk
Do I live up to
The brigand that I saw in you
As you caught my hand
I catch my breath as you reprimand
Me for my trauma of being too much
I back away but I also clutch
You to me
Can you love the whole sea
When it’s not yours or mine
I felt crushed watching About Time
And I could feel a lion roar
Deep within me
Death the moment life begins me
As I sit up off the floor
What was that and what’s more
Who am I
How am I not to die
When this body walks I seem to move
But it’s just patterning on the groove
Of the effervescent
I hate to be described as pleasant
Coz it’s so lukewarm
And I am nothing if not a storm
Brewing over the hill
Do you know the moment if you’re not still?
We became like two dogs snarling
In the days I called you darling
And you spit your words out at me
I let you go free
Like we’re aching from our history
You and the mystery
As ages pass us by
And we love but we don’t know why
And we fight and we try
But we can’t forgive the lie
And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted
And I just remember when we started
And how it is so different now
I still see you through the wind somehow
You’re mysterious
And the guys just call you Chris
And I have to adjust my vision for the time being
Because I’m not sure exactly what I’m seeing
As you softly ask me my name
And I’d love to do the same
But the ghost of winter left last evening
And I’ve given up on all my believing
And the night isn’t cold but it sure is dark
And I used to live right by the park
As I listened to JV McMorrow
That year I transcended the sorrow
And clicked my tongue to my own beat
I used to just drive down the street
With a bigger sense of life and purpose
Not chasing my tail like a dog in a circus
Anyway it’s been eons
But you cut through the neon
Back to where I love the feel
Of the men with which I deal
And you’ve got something so real
In the silence that I just steal
Before I hang up the phone
It’s good for five minutes to be alone
With a voice like yours down the line
I blush at the question and answer I’m fine
Coz I know this number is a hard one to call
But you smile, I can hear it through the air wall
And I wonder exactly who you are
Do you ever think time is measured by a star
As we orbit around what’s fixed in space
Running the rivers like it is a race
But everything is just typed in notes
And I must admit that I love quotes
And what they bring to the table
If you’re sitting at one are you able
To be outside in the fields of yore
Is everything as before?
Or are you something I’ve never seen
I hear his voice and shake out of the dream
I actually haven’t lost my spark
Or my ability to make a mark
And it seems my visage has grown strained
Wearing a look so pained
From all the trials I’ve been through
All for the courage I lacked in you
As you exclaimed against your will
That love is nothing but a skill
And I soared into the roaring sun
All for fear of being come undone
That I feel in your presence blue
The red of fire I am to you
What if we’re living in Paradise
The green fields of our life
And he is tormented by the loss of Eden
And I was ardent in my believing
Til I met the moment in a night
And something did ignite
Burned like a fuse towards dynamite
Spinning ever closer to its own execution
I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution
Of what I mean to say
I’d rather just point the way
And have you follow where I go
But my steps shake as I move slow
Across the ground of the room
There is so much more than doom
In the space that we share
There is true love and care
I feel I must speak up to say
It’s more than a myth and okay
I get that you have your own perspective
But my view is true and objective
Like a glass with no lens
You only see through it when you don’t defend
Yourself from what you mean to be
You just open up for free
And find it echo in your bones
Away from the beat of earphones
And all the noise that fills the day
It’s not a game or a power play
But something that must be known
I pull the curtains back and it’s shown
Depression cannot stifle this
Pain won’t call it quits
It stands and it walks
It lays down or sits
But this moving beast
I call my own
Is a kaleidoscope
Of light that’s thrown
Brash across the windowpane
And all the suffering is in vain
Because it cannot put out the light
Not even in the darkest night
Not even in the furthest blue
I still see colour in you
And you may note the degree
But it wasn’t earned by me
It fell like papers from my hand
An ocean in a grain of sand
That is roaring with the sea
You look up and it’s just me
But more and further do I be
Let’s rewrite future history
Idealism has me loving him
Through the wings of a new song
And I’ve only felt
Sparsely that I belong
In and out between the fear
Catching hold of what I hold dear
In the hopes that it won’t leave
And it’s little that I don’t believe
Coz it all pulses in my throat
And are we post rote
Learning now
I sit upon the bough
Of a leaning tree
To watch the sunset fade in front of me
And think it’s much like a life
That doesn’t get to happen twice
Unless you’re into that sort of thing
A reincarnation into the skin that swim
In the great ocean
And I’ve always been emotion
Trying to calm down
But I walk on solid ground
As my heart beats in my chest
Trust in God and leave the rest
Are you threatened by the female
Do you reverberate
Am I meant to give up
On myself in that state
Or is there a way
To be and grow
I gave you a chance
To have me, you know
But you turned away
From the dance
I split the boil
With a lance
Til all the pus
Came spewing out
The knife was quick
As my wit, no doubt
I just wanted to know if you left me a message
It’s nothing insincere
But I’ve been tripping the wire
Of in love with you, dear
And I know it’s a fallacy
And I know there’s nothing wrong
It’s just you gave me that rush
Like you thought I was strong
And I’m smiling to myself
As I’m sitting on the couch
Threw normal out the window
Of sanity to vouch
For me in the days
When the water is less clear
I had a dream of you
When your words made you seem near
But anyway and anyhow
I’ve got to let it go
I just wanted to uncover
These reams and reams of snow
So you’d know that in the winter
The sun burns just as true
You said that you liked me
Well, hey man, back at you!
Taking a bite into the blue
And it comes up the colour of you
As I dive into the ocean
And it’s all rhythmic motion
In the life I cannot live
Is it time to forgive
The darkness of my past
Who knew that this would last
So very long
Correct me if I’m wrong
But you loved that I love that song
As you curl up by my side
Say that I make you feel alive
And now it’s all gone away
What was it you didn’t say
Coz I’m dying to know
And I won’t leave it be so
Just tell me what you need to admit
I looked at you and I sit
Beside you surreptitiously
Vulnerably confess to me
Like a secret you can’t bear to keep
I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep
Something happened to set the scene
And wake me up from the dream
And it was all I could do not to exclaim
That you need sky for the clouds to rain
As I discovered a newfound glory
Something exists outside the story
And it’s living itself as me
It’s like the storm has been set free
To wage its unholy war
To show you what peace is for
And it’s broken me down to a fragment
I’m still looking for where the person went
As it vacates the premises
I let go of the notion of nemesis
As everything turns to a quiet state
Do we have to learn to hate
When we’ve been set free
I let the chains fall off of me
I woke with a pain in my head
As fear raked across me like dread
And I fought to overcome
The flaw of being young
Coz happily I’m happenstance
And love is the great dance
Around a merry swing
Did you hear me give up everything
For the dream of holding on
But the space you leave is long gone
And I try to patch it with needles and thread
As I’m lying in my lonely bed
Just scraping by on what I can manage
Though I fail to admit the damage
That you did with one look
You could read about it in a book
But it happens in real life too
And it was my luck it happened with you
I know it’s unfair to exclaim
That you save me from all the pain
That I brought to bear on myself
Now I’m searching for the answer in someone else
And you never had anything to do
With what I faced without you
Coz I made that choice all on my own
And I’ve never felt alone
Coz I’ve always had support
And a steady kind of rapport
With everyone I seem to meet
I’m fire so the heat
Is to be expected
Don’t take my manners for being disrespected
I’m only playing a xylophone on you
And I want you to sing along to
The refrain we effortlessly make
I do it for the both of our sake
The non spectacular nature of Now
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old
We could have a fifty year stand
And I could live with holding your hand
But I could never be bound to profess
That I’m anything more than this minidress
And what I’m meaning to confess
Is that I reach for you in my distress
But I don’t see forever in your eyes
Because, you know, everybody dies
And I lost him at seventeen
When I wasn’t even in the dream
Just walking back from lunch
Ignoring that petty hunch
That had you sidelines and sideways
I don’t care what anybody says
Anymore coz they’re all liars
And I’ve set one too many fires
Under who I’m meant to be
I’ve grown up but still don’t see
And the diagrams all refract
The way you can’t get people back
Once you’ve lost your hold on them
If I could would I live it again?
Just to feel the same old pain
If you walk on grass do you curse the rain
That made it green and fresh
It’s been years but I don’t forget
Is it just a private grievance
Always holding myself back
Because I see the wings of angels
Ready to attack
For all I’m lost and holding
Forever to the degree
It’s infinitesimal
But it means the world to me
To see you reengage
With the world that you know
I’d be waiting for you
I said it to you slow
So the mountains bate their breath
And everything in between
Is like a summer in the winter
Or waking from the dream
Is this goodbye
Now I’m letting go
Of the pain that had me
Wedded to you, you know
And every tale
I keep in a locket
Is a symbol of
How they forgot it
Coz the season changes
And time renews
And what’s bad in the morning
Becomes old news
I click my heels together
When I hear your name
It’s been an ocean
And I won’t be the same
But loving you slightly
Will always be
Taking a dram
Of straight destiny
I’m burning up like the flow of the river
As all of life calls me to forgive her
Coz I can’t split in two just to spite my face
Or deny the regard of constant disgrace
And I was only a teen
But I saw through the cracks in the dream
Untoward a vast expanse
Where music makes the people dance
And I feel as though I’m on fire
Like I’ve been lit by something higher
But it always seems to come back to ground
Like I’m rooted in the sound
Of you saying goodbye
Then realizing what it means to die
As I sweated it out in the class
Then fell victim to what could not last
And I stirred on the floor as I heard her call
It was like I’d lost the wall
Separating me from creation
A moment stunned and then elation
You can call it enlightenment or waking up
Or just realizing all is love
Then I see you with your eyes downcast
And I try to forget the past
But the memory of the crush is ever fresh
And I’m still not there yet
At the part they say release
But I may just be at peace
The Poetry Book 