There was a panic at the disco when I walked in
And I threw my coke at the guy who flashed me a grin
And grabbed my ass
Without ever thinking to ask
Me for the time of day
Hey, bro it’s not okay
And I’m more than forests green
I’m much more than I may seem
And someday in the starshine
I will come to really own what’s mine
Just another day of Diamonds
He laughs then takes my hand
And I can feel the wind in the way we’ve sinned
Saying that we’ll both be grand
He’s like the dew in the morning
Light to the touch
And I think that he knows
That I love him so much
As I avoid his stare
But I’m still all there
As he moves in close to my face
And there’s something I can’t replace
Like when we split the coin in Liverpool
And we’re acting like two kids in school
Laughing in all the wrong places
And he kind of crinkles his face
To let me know that he’s okay
That silence is in what I can’t say
And it’s been years
But it’s also right now
And he carries
The lightning somehow
In his pocket as he storms up a scene
And I swore those days were like a fucking dream
Young and wild and free as the air
There was no cost that we didn’t spare
As we paid with our hearts
Did we know that we’d part
Somewhere in the crystalline
But there was a moment dazzling was mine
In his effortless
And the kind of mind you can’t second guess
In his sincere
And the way he was just so near
As he smiles at me and holds my stare
I know he loved me because I was there
And tomorrow’s an avenue
And they past’s a monument
And I ran from the scene
Coz I can’t give you what you want
But do you think somewhere
Among all the tears
We could make up
The wasted years
And just hold hands
And lie in bed
You caught me with messy hair
And my face went red
But in the moment it’s okay
Because in your eyes
I’m whole, full of soul
Nothing to aggrandize
And you’re still there
Somewhere, somehow
Some kind of enchanted
That I’ll allow
As sparks fly
In the rhythm section
And I think you’ve got me down
Til I pull an inflection
But we’re so serene
And if we’re in this together then you’re a dream
In your fiery ways
You’re the kind of home that simply stays
Exactly where it’s always been
If I cut the lights could I be your queen
Coz you star my sky with little lights
And we make up after all our fights
As we just embrace
I loved you once now I’m in space
That you open for me
And I never knew wings til they set me free
And I’ve just got to express
That those days in that dress
Make me miss your beautiful warmth
The kind of hearth that mocks the storm
Would you be by my side
If I said let truth abide
And hold you close
I let you in, now you’re making a toast
As I video phone
The moment so when I’m alone
I can watch the replay
Do you know I love you more, okay?
And there have been pilgrimages
To foreign lands
But I’ll think of you
In the slipping sands
So much older now
But something is as it was somehow
Brimming full of angels that sing our song
It’s been more than a decade since you belong
And I meditate
On what exactly it means to be in that state
But I can’t repair
The feeling of you not being there
Til you speak aloud
Are you for real, I thought you were too proud
But you’re cutting the ribbon
And Lord, I forgive him
For never let me know in time
Do you think you could just be mine?
That he might be under the same sky
Thinking of me
Makes the ocean of waves
Roar with the sea
And I’ve got fire
And tenacity
But there are forests of green
I’ve yet to be
And he’s cool as a breeze
And warm as the air
Coming up from the Azores
Without a care
And what do you think
This planet would be
If it wasn’t populated
By humanity
Could you walk without fear
Roam without a care
I only know pride
Because he is there
And I only know windows
Coz I’ve looked so long
Into the spaces
Where he seems to be gone
And all of the avenues
All the winding paths
Just seem to keep leading me
The same way back
To his doorstep
At the edge of the woods
I can say that I’m here
This time for good
And the wind it howls
And pulls at my dress
But there’s something right here
I’ve got to confess
That I love you always
Unconditionally true
And I’m only ever wishing
The best for you
But it seems times have changed
And the world’s turned around
And maybe you’re listening
To my kind of sound
As it plays on the radio
Frequency waves
And there’s something about
A hero who saves
Me from the lies
With a single glance
We’re in the car park
But do you want to dance
Would you take my hand
Do I regret that tome
Where I wandered wilderness
All alone
Only to find
Your hand in mine
You are for always
Always for all time
I’ve no interest in travel
But I’d move Heaven and Earth for you
I’d span the oceans near and wide
Just so we could be close to
The great divide that keeps us apart
The diamond in your soul
And you may have grown, but I woulda known
If your waves suddenly started to roll
If the tide had started to beat
A steady rap on my door
I gaze into distances far and away
Always hoping for a little bit more
And you were young and beautiful
Now you’re craggy and grey
You used to love me
Now you drag me each day
As I try to build fortresses
To what was
There’s an army storming gates
At the lakes of because
And who are you when you look in the mirror
Do you dine with a shirt and tie
And could you state or equivocate
What’s become just a really big lie
And dawn comes each morning
To shelter the night
In the ages we part just to ignite
The paper I’ve been setting up
How could you look at me and not call it love
Dazzling star I want to sing you a song
That you could never ever put a foot wrong
That you are sitting so high in the sky
And I’m gonna love you til the day that I die
And you are so shy but you’re strong and secure
And my God do you reflect something pure
As it’s dancing in your eyes like a moon on a lake
And all these cobblestones I will forsake
As I make my way to you once more
Do you think he’d be behind the closed door
And all I’d have to do is knock
I sure think he still loves me a lot
And gentle is the sound that you resound
You give me the feeling of solid ground
And I wish to hold you but you’re far away
Probably making loads of other people’s day
Like you shone in mine for a while
I will never forget the smile
You smiled at me when I stopped at your place
I hold dear that look on your face
And what a night, it is billowing smoke
And I’m older now and more prone to joke
Around just a little bit
And boy were you looking fit!
But it’s more than that and I think you know
Yours are fields I would love to go
And lay down in the meadow and contemplate the stars
A billion lights to show me what you are
And hold your hand or lift up your head
Do you think I could love you instead?
Instead of this incessant wandering around
I think you were the home that I found
Does eternity gaze at you
When you’re staring at the stars
And do you think you could see their lights
Through your prison bars
Coz we’re all in the gutter
But some of us are looking up
Is it just a mirage
To say that I’m in love
Coz the guy don’t even know me
Or so it would seem
And he’s looking for a girlfriend
Not for a sky high queen
And I can’t figure out what it may mean
My friend says it’s an expression of what I dare to dream
And he’s taken by another so I’ve got to let it go
I say I’m not cold, though I’m standing in the snow
And he was like a stranger that day on the phone
I’d never felt so embarrassed or left all alone
As I told him that I loved him, that I held him dear
And he made the situation all too crystal clear
And I’m just clutching at straws
Because the ice never thaws
I’m just frosting up the glass
And he was just lounging on the grass
As I waited and I wondered
And slightly ran away
Out of fear of what I felt
And of what I might say
Because it’s too good to be true
This couldn’t be real
That I get all I want
And spare cards to deal
And it’s so obvious
He’s what I’m looking for
As I stand outside
Just staring at his door
And there’s light and there’s warmth
But it’s all inside
I’m shivering and I’m shaking
From the window where I hide
Do I finally let this go
Or knock and be seen
I wouldn’t mind the weather
Coz it is just a dream
And there are passers by
Telling me, go home
I didn’t dare to mention
That it’s inside an iPhone
And I dig my hands down deeper
Into the pockets of my coat
I’m taking this too far
And what is worse I know it
So I take one last look
As I head for the trees
To live a life of freedom
Instead of living on my knees
But as I go I hear a shout
That he can’t do without
I turn and I glare
And he’s just standing there
In a dressing gown and slippers
Looking oh so calm
But I can’t run back
To another false alarm
And anyway he’s got company
And I won’t lead astray
Go back to what you made
It’ll be the break of day
And we’re miles apart
In the feet that we span
And I’ll always love you
Though I don’t know if you can
Love me just to leave me
So let me go this time
I would if I could, he says
But you’d still be mine
And I glower and I pout
Though it does me no good
He frowns in return
As I turn back for the wood
Because I can’t do this
Anymore, my love
I don’t have a reason
So look to God above
And you’ll find your answers
It’s everything they say
Maybe I am strong
To leave this and away
But he pulls me with force
The mere magnet strength
And I look for my courage
Coz I don’t know where it went
As I’m grappling with stones
Trying to get a hold
And all of this flipping the switch
Is getting old
And anyway, who is she
And how can I say
That I can’t find adequate
Means to stay away
And she’s silent and staring
Just looking at me
Trying to fight
With his gravity
In the den of the house
That used to be mine
But he threw me out
When I took the time
To really study
And explore
The nature of
A solid floor
So I relent, give in
And feel myself swayed
It’s not for loneliness
That this is okayed
And they both turn around
Leave the door open
A little glance back
But I amn’t coping
And freezing I rise
Up to my feet
As I step on the mat
It’s neighbors they greet
And I see the old furniture
I used to know
Step into the light
And let the pain go
Give up on the solitary
Lone expanse
Though it’s been years
Since we thought to dance
And I see there’s a room
At the end of the hall
With a door open
He says it’s yours and all
And I finally know
Come to realise
That they’re living in what
I built for their lives
And all this time
We’re waiting to see
The masterpiece
Foretold by me
In the din, in the quiet
In the subside
I lay down to rest
And close my eyes
To finally know
A slumber that’s real
He didn’t leave me
He just let me feel
All of his peace
So that I could deal
With the moment as
It’s resting long
And my God
I belong!
And she doesn’t hate me
Coz it is cool
I think I may have
Dreamt this in school
So I rub my eyes
Shake myself out
Get rid of the fear
Lose all the doubt
Find the heart
That heats my soul
All is Love
That’s the story I’m told
Photo by Taneli Lahtinen on Unsplash.com
I fall in love with a ten
Then resolve to never see them again
Because is to love to be caught
Is to give the same as bought
As he smiles and I see in his eyes
The dawn of a new sunrise
So I click escape on the dial
Say I was with you for a while
And for the first time someone doesn’t mind
Say I know you don’t leave behind
What you hold in your steady heart
I’ve trusted you from the start
And I am pulled back into his gaze
I don’t need you to try and save
Me but could you hold still
While I let you see my deepest will
That love be shared and all adored
Coz he said no and I was floored
But I picked myself up from where I lay
I smiled at you and it’s okay
And you’re just talking really fast
But we got time, this is gonna last
Though I don’t know how, where or when
But I know I’m gonna see you again
And the map is full of uncharted places
You are deep and you make spaces
For all and everyone
And I’m okay but I’m not done
See I’ve got to show you the sky
The patterns where the Heavens lie
As they unfold from above
And everything I see is love
Not just a moment or two
But every second I spent with you
Do you think you could love me free
So I can be who I’m meant to be
And profess my ardent devotion
In a quiet space without commotion
Do you think I could mean to you
Exactly what I want to
Or are the days all for passing
My attempts just harassing
You from the place where you stare
I just know that you were there
In the full fledged of an open heart
Can I tell you the truth and let it start
As we both breathe in the air
I’m just trying to be fair
To you now that I’m wild and free
I don’t know if you can rely on me
But he brushes my fraught attempts aside
Says that he can see me hide
And I don’t have to run away
I can be shy coz that’s okay
That it’s alright not to know
To be unsure where you go
But full of heart without reason
It’s every day that makes a season
It’s every night that makes a week
It’s in the silence you don’t speak
As he offers me his steady hand
Says you can trust the place we stand
You can let a garden grow
I look at him and just know
That I can let my diamond shine
He’s been there for me all this time
She writes music that catches in your soul
As if all the waves have to do is roll
And midnight comes before each dawn
So don’t lament what’s gone
Because it will come around again anew
You can’t miss what is destined for you
And I hope that’s true coz he’s all I see
What if he was never meant for me
I wonder and I pause and I flip through the prose
What if he is the one that fate chose
To hold my hand and be the One
I see him like he’s the Son
Of God in garden grass
And I wonder if all I had to do was ask
Would you maybe wanna be my guy
I know I’m quiet and I didn’t try
But do you think you could take a look
And read me like your favorite book
And it’s fine if you don’t know my name
I’m gonna love you all the same
And wish you the wealth of wisdom and heart
I never thought we’d be so long apart
Do you have to hide a part of yourself
To be in relationship with
And I’m all
Sarcastic wit
But do you think you could love me
For my flaws
Instead of the sun
The icicle thaws
But the feeling gnaws
And eats me up for dinner
But I’m seeing through the sinner
As the light reflects kaleidoscopically
There’s a mountain to every valley
And I look down from mine
At all the colors that make the sun shine
And I remember
Skipping a beat
The moment that
I felt the heat
As you hold your eyes on me
And I lose it all by degree
Do you think you could hold my hand
And live up to what we had planned
But I tore down the picture
Wouldn’t live by the stricture
Of a voice that commands
Is that what it means to love a man
I’d rather be alone
But I still stare at my phone
And the quiet it imbues
The door slams as I sing the blues
And I know there’s better than this
I’m sorry I didn’t think to miss
The last line of the song
Stop telling me that I’m wrong
I still think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
Though you stabbed me in the back and shattered my dream
And I’ve seen sights like wild fields and hills
But they don’t swallow the void that your face kills
So soft and sweet like the hairs on your chin
That shadows the hollows that define you within
But though you cross valleys and traverse foreign shores
You can’t distance away all that I am for
And wherever you go or what you may discover
It will be imbued with what we uncover
And your love will follow and stay by my side
I am the keeper of what you confide
Whispered so honestly in secret tones
In all that passes you are still my home
Where I will return when the midnight is due
From the depths of my being I will always love you
And forever’s just a word to hint at the crime
That happened just once when we stopped time
In the creases and folds and the fabric of space
There is a beauty nothing can erase
And it bears your name in the wrinkles you bend
Lighting up eyes that do not end
In the ochre or blackness or the scorching you do
With a heat that the desert cannot compare to
In the holding of hands or the touch that you weave
It only takes a moment to kneel and believe
In everything you profess and all that you are
This is my wish and you my shooting star
Photo Credit: http://pin.it/YiYB6ur
That year was a wasteland and I was the bomb
That you dropped from the plane with some aplomb
Just cause your territory had been invaded
And a hole pierced through the veil you masqueraded
And all of the people who lost their lives
Are collateral damage so your city thrives
And I in the moment was eviscerated
My parts to obliterate what you created
And though you are fine and in your warm chair
You lost much more than I did there
To perish what you do not understand
And show the world the wrath of your hand
Then blame it on timing or the way things go
Others may believe you but I know
And hold in my spirit all you tried to destroy
But you’re not a man, no you are just a boy
Who’s playing at games he knows nothing about
If you’re a real king then you don’t have to shout
Or make others suffer for what you cannot spare
I looked for your heart but it wasn’t there
So lay claim to the story and the narrative
History is written by those who cannot forgive
But instead draw lines to denote what they’ve won
But it’s only the living you can kill with a gun
And prove that you are the sun in the sky
But even you too must die
And face your maker or the absence of one
You’ll look for me back but I am done
And never will hesitate the time
I let you go and felt the sublime
As aching powers crave the root
They can never touch the absolute
You’re an endless inspiration and I’m a hopeless muse
You are the bulletproof that blows apart the fuse
And there is a design that machinates the whole
There is a forever that sits inside my soul
As we in matching colours go our separate ways
And the night comes every evening at the end of days
And apocalypse the moment as fire rains on me
Because I understand that we are history
Beautiful disasters don’t come in threes
It’s the kind of love that brings me down to my knees
And breaks apart my heart and soul
When we first met I felt so whole
And I wonder do they know what went on in between
When we both awoke inside the other’s dream
Before it turned to nightmares of the mind
Before the moment I left you behind
And all the twists and turns wander the roads
The weight is heavy and the stress it shows
Among the guilt of breaking her down
The water rises and I start to drown
Because I just cannot escape the truth
I love you and I never put it to use
A beautiful disaster isn’t the word for you
But I can’t argue semantics because I am one too
And there are some songs that really fit our name
And playing you’s a joy cause you’re such a perfect game
But the nighttime intercedes in between our days
As you walk away from me in a myriad of ways
And you find your home in some other where
I’ve never been one to pretend I didn’t care
Because I do, I do and never will forget
The time we spent together, the time that we could yet
But if it is your will then I will let you go
It’s not like it is a choice but just so you will know
From now until forever you will be in my heart
We’re begun in an eternity that has no end or start
You walk the lines of the infinite as though it is child’s play
You talk to me in tones so sweet and then you look away
And how do I try to be anything but nice
Cause I have lost you more than once and I did so without a fight
So tell me once again, once more, about how you’re better off
And is it you or me or both who finds out that we’re lost
And though I ache with past regret and years that are gone by
I didn’t work up the nerve to talk to you or even try
Why are we in this quandary with our destinies dancing the line
Before I hung up the phone, before you said it was fine
Is there an immortal that is concealed that we can hang onto at least
As I to in the west am fire ablaze while you sundance in the east
And we are both stone strong examples of how love can do you wrong
How unconditionally is wrought in iron that is strong
And will not let you go at all, though lessons may be learned
I can feel the breath of wind moved when your head is turned
The love is almost unbearable
As you kindly tend to my wounds
And ask me if I’ll be okay soon
I think of myself
Desperate and half stark raving mad
For a drop of your love
When I had it all along
The light goes out on your stair
And I wonder if you’re still there
Because it has been an eon and a half
Since ere I saw you smile
And I wonder
If you still wonder
About me
In the night
Or calm moments of the day
And think
And sway
You walked me all the way back to my car
And left me there
With a hand on my shoulder
You uttered your goodbye
Permanent and forever
But made of such materials
Not built to last
The timber rotted in the rain
And the fragile frame of you
Soon fell asunder
In tears to echo the watered sky
And I can hear you cry
Over here from abroad
As I silently live out my penance
For a crime I did not commit
And you, beautiful you
Wish it undone
Photo Credit: http://wallpaperwidehd.blogspot.ie/2014/04/girl-in-rain-wallpaper.html
The Poetry Book 