Transcendence is key
And are you talking to me
Coz your breath is light against my cheek
He didn’t know that he made me weak
As he strode across the floor
Like he was going door to door
Looking for me
But I’m right here, or don’t you see
And I grab his hand in the dark
Ignore the way it makes him start
Then throw a conspiratorial look across the aisle
Was I wrong or did I catch you smile
And break the sun across your face
Living the lie is an unholy disgrace
I know he loves me no matter what you say
That doesn’t mean I expect him back any day
It’s just that heart, once shared is given
And stitches itself into all your livin’
I just know he beats
His heart with every step on the streets
And is whole
He loves with all of his soul
And I’m happy for her
But we still were
Though time has passed
And I don’t know what for
I don’t know if you see
That love shines eternally
From every form
The sun itself lives to keep us warm
And I know there is
More than surface tension on the water we live
To hold up
I’m more than what you’re thinkin’ of
I spend all of my time talking to the voice in my head
Is it telepathy or resident dread
And I don’t expect you to believe
That to stare at the mirror is to grieve
Looking at the reflection of something temporal
Is it empty or I would venture full
Of wit and wisdom and midnight tomes
Clicking away from the habit of homes
That seem to populate my tv screen
Was it real or just a dream
A nightmare I can wake up from
The leaving of loss of everything’s gone
In a moment I’m real and see inside
Give up the venture capital to hide
Within this little hut I’ve built
Giving advice but the talking has stilled
Into an ever present calm
Do you read lines or just hold my palm
Against yours for a moment or so
A secret handshake you thought to show
Me in our intimate endeavor
I know I’m innocent but this is forever
And I won’t paint another colour blue
Over the one that came from you
As the sky holds the memory of us
And there’s something I implicitly trust
That is between us two
I had faith and it brought me you
Maybe not in the way I had thought
But like a soldier that’s been caught
In a single glance you stare
The Earth quaked as you stood there
Looking past the facade
It’s a moment and I want you bad
To be what you’ve always been
If you’re the King and I’m the Queen
Can we give up the reign
Coz it only brings us pain
In attempting to be what we never were
I wish you well for
What it’s worth at any rate
You looked at me
And there was another state
That just seemed to embrace
And I find that the sight of your face
Inspires prose
This is me
And the less travelled road
I think Eckhart underestimates the human race
And I’m not saying this just to save face
Coz I can feel an expansive motion of tide
Pulling me somewhere to abide
And it’s everywhere, in everyone
Shining brighter than the light of the sun
Bequeathing honesty and tomes
Pulling people out of their alones
Into a space where all is real
And it is everything I feel
Coz the man changed my life, he brought the stars
And I let go of my hold on my prison bars
Always a safe place to suffer in
But the water is kinder and I begin
To wade myself into the river deep
I’m awake when people sleep
And it is a promise I always keep
To find the truth and then to speak
But the going is challenging by the sea
Though I figure out it’s my destiny
Handing out hope like tomorrow’s bread
Letting love live my life instead
And the openness is something that I find
Is quintessentially good and abundantly kind
And I really do not mind
If no one sees what’s left behind
Because I pick up and origami the paper
It’s all the one and you’ll see it later
If you don’t see it now in open hands
The Universe and our well laid plans
There are so many things
In life that pass away
Made me ask
Does anything stay
And I found in the dark
An unbeatable light
It’s shines through the veil
Til everyone’s alright
And it’s taking to task
The body I walk
Makes me speak
Not merely talk
And it loves and it cares
But it is detached
Unlocks the door
Even when it’s latched
It goes up and over
Here and beyond
Answers questions
Like a dumb blonde
With the smarts
I looked it’s way
And suddenly it starts
To shine
For the whole world to see
Don’t you know
It’s not about me
But about the fabric
Becoming paper thin
He saw the real
So I let him in
What used to seem so sure
Is now disappearing over the hill
Can change change me
Or do I swear it never will
As I hold onto who I used to be
But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see
The ocean is not held in a span
And will I do what I can
To be a modern example of what is true
What’s possible for me and you
As we share a world unique
But I do not dare to speak
My voice though it reverberate
Around the hall as we equate
Together with just being there
I’ve learned from love and I do care
Though shapeless you see
Me in a way and integrity
Has me burning a fuse in my mind
To always be awesome and super kind
And fearless with courage to bear
The way the fabric tear
On this dream of us
I found true love and in it I trust
There’s a hundred million souls
Hanging round this joint
But somehow you’re the one
My heart anoint
And ignite like a signal fire
In those days I never tire
Of my rebound nature
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later
And he passed like a comet across the sky
Proclaiming that which will never die
In a moment we are as One
And he merged with the Son
To shine a light so bright the sound goes deaf
To all that is and isn’t left
In the ashes that burn up into flame
A phoenix by everything but name
And he’s lovely and normal and sweet as pie
And I just want him to see me cry
To let him in through the facade
The bulletproof and feeling bad
To this garden where everything grows
And there’s a flower here for you, God knows
That’s been ten years in the making
There are no tales worth the shaking
The run away induced
But you are here and I’ve deduced
That everything will be okay
Will you ever look at me that way
Again
And men
Just remind me of us
Our solid steel and unbreakable trust
There were times I thought;
Things like that only happen in America
But now an Irish flag is flying
On hills I don’t agree with
Declaring the ruination of all that used to be
And how it was empty and vapid
Relentless in its desire to control all of us
I look at the clock again
It’s half past six
But time is moving and never sticks
To the floor like the day I heard
And you could shoot every single bird
I wouldn’t notice
Coz you’re gone
The only place that I belong
Standing by your side
Now I hear your name and I run and hide
Because it brings up convulsions I cannot repair
One minute you’re standing there
The next air
That I breathe in
And even thoughts of him
Can’t take away the ashes of my loneliness
Written in biro like an address
As I scribble my name
I love you so I won’t be the same
But are the hackles drawn on my wilderness
That I would ever confess
A taut string like grief
And my belief
Is to hide it from everyone
Shine like I’m the fucking sun
Collapsing in on itself
A black hole to eat the life that is its wealth
And welcome any stragglers into its dusky fold
I’m getting old
You can measure it by how you perceive the years
They move so fast there’s no time for tears
Coz the ebbing will flow
And what came down must let go
Of its hold on this misty night
Is it okay if I am alright?
I write my own version of epicology It's a word I made up to describe mythology Of the personal self so cool Oh, the awesome that I was in school As I danced on a cloud nine The minute He pierced through what was mine To reveal the ever present source And I'm filled with remorse That I never seem to live up to The identical that I saw in You As we spend our time just having a laugh As we melt like a wall that's not gonna last And I can't contain you in a rhyme Except that you were outside of time A moment, free and then to bind We lost love to the mind As the shackles came back to say We don't let people go that way But I look up and the light Is still shining on us, alright And I don't need to let go Of what is inherent to me, you know And I don't know how to unfurl The heart that creates the girl As a modicum to understand You were the truth I hadn't planned Thought I could be the solitary queen Til the sword lanced the dream And birthed me into real life I like you, is that alright?
Running like a colt through fields of grass I found an eternal that will ever last Or it found me Lost in a mire of indignity At fourteen It was a crack in the facade of the dream And the light got in And it just happened to be shining on him When we came across each other A supersister and a soulbrother To barely touch but to meet The lines that parallel our feet As we move them to and fro Try to find meaning before we go And I don't know where he is right now Coz I stopped working the clock somehow And he's cool with the brush of wisdom My identity became a prison I let go like the empty leaves That blow from the trees In autumn when it's time And I try on calling you mine As you take a step to the foreign shore I can't help but love you more As you reveal yourself to me I realise that to be free Is to have your arms locked like a vice Around me for the first time, twice
The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane And if I lose is there something to gain Coz I see you over there, from afar You're radiant, a celestial star And I just don't know what you are But you raise the bar On all that's yet to come When you get older you realise that you're still young On the verge of thirty three Never realised old age would come to me Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend There's a beginning, middle and end To every story that you ever tell But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well Coz it's all that there is And I'm still His As he moves the atoms in waves around The nucleus with a doppler effect sound And am I just trying to be smart I made studying seem like an art Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up On the institution I used to love But it brought me somewhere I've never been Something I couldn't even think to dream And I always thought I'd be a writer But I hate conflict so please don't fight her And if there's something to say Could you please utter it in a kind way Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose But I just don't want to lose As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine I let go of the life that's mine To be held in the expansive note Of a God I can barely quote Without referring to old wisdom But I think light might be a prism When you bend it to refract I saw the truth, now I can't go back
Money is the language Western culture speaks
While in the East we wonder who eats
As we clamber together a mountain of rocks
And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks
Do we really know where we’re going
I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing
Do I have a destiny to live up to
Or am I just throwing shapes at you
As I move in the room through the embrace of air
The nothing that’s something and ever there
As we all return to the Tao that gives birth
To learn and live the lessons of hurt
Of the pain that transforms
Mere weather into thunderstorms
There’s no way back now
We’ve got to find a new way somehow
To cut a swathe through the tide
Really breathe while we’re alive
And we may have realized
That we’re all living under blue skies
But we hide behind each tree we find
Conceptualize it with the power of mind
And search for a way to be secure
But don’t you know we’re all born pure
And I’m not trying to catch you out
But don’t you think it’s good to doubt
And question what you don’t understand
The life of the free is never planned
But an unfoldment in Universal degree
I may be wrong but hey, that’s just me!
Deep in disguise
I wade through the water
You somebody’s son
I’m the moon’s daughter
And I slip sideways
Out of the scene
You were the best part
Of my dream
And I watched you watch me
You took my pic
You grabbed the towel
And the gear stick
Shook in my hand
Said goodbye to Sam
You said he’ll be grand
And I drove you home
It was just the two of us
All alone
And you stopped to stare
I stopped the car
And met you there
And I wonder if I’ll ever see
You looking again like that at me
As I shared on a screen
Some kind of light show
I’d tell you the truth
If you want me to, you know
All the love in my heart
And you were a rouge kind of dark
As you let the wilderness consume
I watch you from across the room
I can hear murmurings
Sweet whispers in my ears
And I wait
Until the smoke clears
To really discern
What is going on
It’s been years
Since I felt I belonged
And someone’s gotta say it
Call a spade a spade
But you need both tree and sun
To make the shade
And I’m into realism
But I’m also idealistic
I don’t want this century
To repeat the statistic
Errors of a previous generation
Am I getting above my station
To say it’s gotta stop
And I don’t wanna play bad cop
But the letters on my tongue
Are spilling ink
And there’s nothing for the truth
To do but sink
In as we realise what we all do
I am just the reflection of you
Am I trading on my innocence
And the forest gets more dense
As I try to discern
That which simply doesn’t burn
In the fires of time
And would it be a glorious crime
To admit the steady part of me
That just will not let ok be
And I traverse the hills
The loss of all my aforementioned skills
Til I’m kneeling by the shore
The monument that I adore
An empty ocean sea
That is pumping the heart of me
The body is aging
It passes through time
As I try to capture
What is mine
But it eludes my grasp
Like the finest sand
Points me toward the shore
So I understand
And it’s fearless, it’s true
It’s innocent pure
It’s the one thing
That you can be sure
Not to fail you
When the midnight rings
And I can feel it
When she sings
Of love, of beauty
Of something beyond
And they had her down
As a dumb blonde
But she points the way
She leads the charge
Picks you up off the floor
When times get hard
And I can’t ignore
The magnanimous effect
She had upon me
When the dream was wrecked
And I pulled myself away
From what I abhor
Beyond the recognition
Of what I was before
And the signs desert me
Though their pointings fable
Tell me to get up
If I’m able
But another blow comes in
From the west
With the flavor of something
I detest
And I know, I know
I should be serene
And chasing a crown
Only means you’re no queen
Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know
But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go
As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind
I keep wondering what I left behind
And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin
I just feel like dancing when I talk with him
And what’s going on is not what it appears
I’m not laying all my life on you, dears
I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge
Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his
And he owns the motions I make through the air
It was just a moment but we both were there
To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting
I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting
For the first time again after so long
Is the seat by your side where I belong?
I knock but there’s no answer
And I’ve done my time being a dancer
Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread
Into a daydream in my head
And I may be deluded, I may be wrong
But this love thing is so damn strong
As I feel it pulse in my chest
Weighing up who I love the best
But it flits around to varying beings
Changes with the landscape I’m seeing
An intimacy I cannot describe
I just thank God I’m alive
To experience all of this
It was Truth like a first kiss
As I wake up to what I am
And all that moves without a plan
I don’t know if you’re watching here
But I want you to know I love you, dear
And I feel you close as the skin
The arms, the legs, the body I’m walking in
And you touched my soul more than I can announce
I try the words but I can’t pronounce
The monumental you mean to me, love
Let me meet him again I ask God above
The monsters are man made
They live in the attic
They crackle like telephone
Under the static
They brew like a soup
Under the sink
Dare you to do
Something crazy like think
And I lie in my bed
And the horrors maintain
There’s nothing lost
If there’s nothing to gain
If outside is inside
The window you touch
You learn to let go
Of what you love so much
And in winter the fire’s
Warming the hearth
But I’m still scared
Of what hides in the dark
Under the moonlight
Of another season
Like the way I love you
Without reason
And it makes no sense
But the tide will crash
Against the stone
And turn all to ash
Like the waves of duty
To abide
I see the truth
And I confide
It on paper
To the sky
What comes will go
What’s born will die
But what’s ever present
Will remain
Beyond the ocean
As terrain
I could be overestimating my appeal
Like the man is gorgeous, he’s a steal
It’s just I’ve got this gut intuition
That I could be gunpowder to his ammunition
And is it all attraction or is it something more
I could see myself calling to his door
And answering him when I pick up the phone
Not have to spend every minute alone
But he clasps my words like it’s my hands
He’s spaciousness and he understands
Though he may have made a blunder or two
He’s got my number and I’m replying to you
I’m as see through as a pane of glass
And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask
What exactly is on your mind
I left the world I left behind
And grew up into walking shoes
To hold my own and pay my dues
In seasonal or in holiday stance
And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance
As you tic tac toe in front of me
Mr. Awesome or so I see
As you lean in close to meet my word
And I wonder what it is you heard
Coz it echoes against these cavern walls
In holidays and free for all’s
You knock on my door with your suit and tie
Stand up for what can never die
And I take your arm as we walk to the dance
Is loving you a sort of chance
Or risk I’m taking out on the pier
Letting a man come near
Close enough to break my heart
By giving him a share or part
Of what I’ve held in from the sky
I’m not playing games, I don’t lie
But I hold back because the fear
Is great enough to kill me, dear
And my heart It pounds in my chest
As I forsake the rest
To say I will and I do
When I’m looking straight at you
In eyes held tight at the altar
The time is now though it gets shorter
To see the mist advance with age
Though I can’t run from a blank page
That bids me just to tell the truth
And it’s not so bad giving way to youth
That is passing like a sea of storm
You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm
You are an immortal being
Though these images that I’m seeing
May make you want to run a mile
Or, I dunno, maybe just smile
And laugh and say isn’t that the way
You look at me and I’m okay
You’re running in my blood
You’re running in my veins
And it’s like the man said
That I am strange
Coz I just can’t be awful to make a point
I’m only messing, don’t knock yourself out of joint
In trying to be normal and to fit in
I come and go but it’s always him
I return back to in the midnight
Where there’s no need to ask if you’re alright
Coz you are and the stars shine from your sky
We’re together forever so there’s no goodbye
Waiting in the wings of a terrible dawn
When you wake up and realise that it’s all gone
Like the boy I loved when I was seventeen
But the wind escaped from a terrible dream
The one I roll in like the sea
When the current is demolishing me
Til all and sundry is broken and beaten
Like you have you’re cake but it will remain uneaten
And I never got to hold his hand
But the sight of him sure was grand
Til the brutal tide that won’t be surpassed
Came at me til I was harassed
Trying to get on with half an act
It’s like it was fucking awful and I can’t go back
To where I was before it began
And you become an also ran
Til I’m knocking my head against the wall
Coz I can find no silence in it all
But the peace it came and kissed my face
When I was an abject disgrace
When nothing could save me from defeat
I was run down and knocked off my feet
And I try to get back up and walk
It’s like telling the wind it has to talk
When it can only whisper nothings on the breeze
Do you know the feeling when your heart starts to seize
And you’ve got nothing but ragged breath
Saying to yourself there’s no regret
But just one that I ever let you go
And another that I never let him know
The true depths of feeling that pumps a course
My circuitry and the remorse
Here lies my truth, at least, so far
I walk away but I leave the door ajar
So you can come in if you need
Don’t think that I can’t see you bleed
Over there from afar
I’d love to pick you up in my car
So we could just go for a drive
Revel in the being alive
And you smile so truly I almost cave
Fall in love with who I try to save
As we walk the streets of Liverpool
And you’re helluva cool
And I could never understand
Why you decide to drop my hand
And let it all go to waste
Do I get to see your face
Again, not upon a screen
But as real as you could ever dream
Do I get to touch your skin
And let you know what I am to him
Coz we’re all flyers in the wind
And is there anyone who hasn’t sinned
In some great way or minor
You speak the truth and underline her
So that I know where to place my pen
Forever begins all over again
To the sound of Picturehouse
You command the screen, I click the mouse
But do you think that we could be
Together in a way that’s free
And I can’t deny the hold he has
But is it just karma and all that jazz
Is my soulmate someone, you
My twin flame to fly back to
Somewhere I thought I was
But there’s no reason for a just cause
Like the moment headlong too
When I just fell into you
And you laughing caught me there
I can tell by the way you hold my stare
That we are something for the age
Not writing on a white blank page
But laughter in the growing old
Making memories the future’s told
To all that we were back then
You were the best, can we do it again?
Alvarez looks like you, you know
And I’m thinking ‘bout you when I walk in the snow
As I wonder where in the world you might be
Looking out at the scene I think you see
Coz you’re diamonds, you’re shining, you’re just like a star
Oh, what can I ever say that you are
Coz you looked at me like you think that I’m fly
And will I meet you again while the sun’s still in the sky
While we’re both still young or at least not old
And my story of you will not be untold
Coz you’re golden, you’re fire, you’re burning red
And you seem to knock walls I’ve built in my head
Monuments to an age old crime
And I’m not convicted though I’ve done my time
Trodding through a heavy fold
You’re bought but baby you’re never sold
You’re the best of me
No defense, just like I’m free
As I stop you on the street
It’s freezing but do you feel the heat
As you’re stuck for something to say
And I look in your eyes, is that okay
And I see you pause
But I’m not breaking any laws
As I say I saw your pics
The moment, do you remember it
When you looked a questing answer
In the face as I dance her
Into your arms and out again
But do you swear we’ll always be friends
As I hit you up to just say hi
Here’s hoping that there’s no goodbye
I’m exhausted fighting the tide
Oh what does it mean to be alive
Is it treading water or surfing the waves
Is it falling down or being brave
Coz I cannot seem to find a story
When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me
As I question every facet of a different hue
It’s who I am not what I didn’t do
Living on the brink of a well worn facade
Diving deep beyond feeling bad
And finding the Heaven life has in store
You think this is it then it’s a bit more
And I don’t draw diagrams for fun
I’m all architecture and you’re the one
As we build and we break
But we own each and every breath that we take
And every step that we walk
We must be integrity not mere talk
But the sun on the land
Or the good looking lad in a band
That caught my eye
Oh, I feel I could fly
But doubt my wings
It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things
As he meets my stare
Holds himself like he’s really there
And I cannot ignore
The unconditional that I implore
Not to leave me
And you wouldn’t believe me
If I told you the truth
The monumental and my youth
Do I really want you to come a little closer
You’re just like a ghost
With the flavors of nothing
And what I love the most
I see you shy away and I avoid
Being one of the girls
You’re not one of the boys
But you dance
Like Heaven has given you another chance
To be all you are
The wonderful bridge
Constellatory star
That just shines
Like gleaming diamonds in gold mines
I pick one up
But it just reflects the look of you, love
And we’re one again
Outside the realm of women and men
Just to be what is
He holds my hand and I am his
To recalculate
All that has me in a lowly state
Where do I walk
And is all my effulgence just mere talk
Do I live up to
The brigand that I saw in you
As you caught my hand
I catch my breath as you reprimand
Me for my trauma of being too much
I back away but I also clutch
You to me
Can you love the whole sea
When it’s not yours or mine
I felt crushed watching About Time
And I could feel a lion roar
Deep within me
Death the moment life begins me
As I sit up off the floor
What was that and what’s more
Who am I
How am I not to die
When this body walks I seem to move
But it’s just patterning on the groove
Of the effervescent
I hate to be described as pleasant
Coz it’s so lukewarm
And I am nothing if not a storm
Brewing over the hill
Do you know the moment if you’re not still?
We became like two dogs snarling
In the days I called you darling
And you spit your words out at me
I let you go free
Like we’re aching from our history
You and the mystery
As ages pass us by
And we love but we don’t know why
And we fight and we try
But we can’t forgive the lie
And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted
And I just remember when we started
And how it is so different now
I still see you through the wind somehow
I feel the fear pulse inside
Oh, the terror of being alive
And I try to talk with my anxiety
It seems it’s getting the best of me
As I shiver and shake
Then the earth quake
Bringing monuments to the ground
With a tremulous sound
But the peace knows how to ache
Until I love it for its own sake
And the reason why seems to elude me
It’s like it has to prove me
Wrong or right
But I can’t sleep at night
For thinking of him
And the heart has to win
No matter how it seems to be
Could it mean the world to me
Swimming in oceans in between
And if this is just a dream
Then why does it hurt so much
And maybe I’m out of luck
To be adverse with an advanced decider
I never thought you would hide her
Away from seeing eyes
To be the moment love despise
In a sudden realization
I flip the switch and change the station
To get my mind off of you
But it only makes me want to
Clasp your hand in mine
And I’ve been alone all this time
Coz I can’t bear to think of another fella
I’ve never been the type to call you yella
But why did you not tell me how you feel
Why did you try to cut a deal
And hold it tight with skin and bone
But you look like I could make a home
With you where we were
And I don’t know what for
But I feel the need to profess
Everything I wouldn’t confess
Way back when
Could you ask me that question again?
I actually haven’t lost my spark
Or my ability to make a mark
And it seems my visage has grown strained
Wearing a look so pained
From all the trials I’ve been through
All for the courage I lacked in you
As you exclaimed against your will
That love is nothing but a skill
And I soared into the roaring sun
All for fear of being come undone
That I feel in your presence blue
The red of fire I am to you
What if we’re living in Paradise
The green fields of our life
And he is tormented by the loss of Eden
And I was ardent in my believing
Til I met the moment in a night
And something did ignite
Burned like a fuse towards dynamite
Spinning ever closer to its own execution
I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution
Of what I mean to say
I’d rather just point the way
And have you follow where I go
But my steps shake as I move slow
Across the ground of the room
There is so much more than doom
In the space that we share
There is true love and care
I feel I must speak up to say
It’s more than a myth and okay
I get that you have your own perspective
But my view is true and objective
Like a glass with no lens
You only see through it when you don’t defend
Yourself from what you mean to be
You just open up for free
And find it echo in your bones
Away from the beat of earphones
And all the noise that fills the day
It’s not a game or a power play
But something that must be known
I pull the curtains back and it’s shown
Depression cannot stifle this
Pain won’t call it quits
It stands and it walks
It lays down or sits
But this moving beast
I call my own
Is a kaleidoscope
Of light that’s thrown
Brash across the windowpane
And all the suffering is in vain
Because it cannot put out the light
Not even in the darkest night
Not even in the furthest blue
I still see colour in you
And you may note the degree
But it wasn’t earned by me
It fell like papers from my hand
An ocean in a grain of sand
That is roaring with the sea
You look up and it’s just me
But more and further do I be
Let’s rewrite future history
Idealism has me loving him
Through the wings of a new song
And I’ve only felt
Sparsely that I belong
In and out between the fear
Catching hold of what I hold dear
In the hopes that it won’t leave
And it’s little that I don’t believe
Coz it all pulses in my throat
And are we post rote
Learning now
I sit upon the bough
Of a leaning tree
To watch the sunset fade in front of me
And think it’s much like a life
That doesn’t get to happen twice
Unless you’re into that sort of thing
A reincarnation into the skin that swim
In the great ocean
And I’ve always been emotion
Trying to calm down
But I walk on solid ground
As my heart beats in my chest
Trust in God and leave the rest
Are you threatened by the female
Do you reverberate
Am I meant to give up
On myself in that state
Or is there a way
To be and grow
I gave you a chance
To have me, you know
But you turned away
From the dance
I split the boil
With a lance
Til all the pus
Came spewing out
The knife was quick
As my wit, no doubt
I just wanted to know if you left me a message
It’s nothing insincere
But I’ve been tripping the wire
Of in love with you, dear
And I know it’s a fallacy
And I know there’s nothing wrong
It’s just you gave me that rush
Like you thought I was strong
And I’m smiling to myself
As I’m sitting on the couch
Threw normal out the window
Of sanity to vouch
For me in the days
When the water is less clear
I had a dream of you
When your words made you seem near
But anyway and anyhow
I’ve got to let it go
I just wanted to uncover
These reams and reams of snow
So you’d know that in the winter
The sun burns just as true
You said that you liked me
Well, hey man, back at you!
Taking a bite into the blue
And it comes up the colour of you
As I dive into the ocean
And it’s all rhythmic motion
In the life I cannot live
Is it time to forgive
The darkness of my past
Who knew that this would last
So very long
Correct me if I’m wrong
But you loved that I love that song
As you curl up by my side
Say that I make you feel alive
And now it’s all gone away
What was it you didn’t say
Coz I’m dying to know
And I won’t leave it be so
Just tell me what you need to admit
I looked at you and I sit
Beside you surreptitiously
Vulnerably confess to me
Like a secret you can’t bear to keep
I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep
Something happened to set the scene
And wake me up from the dream
And it was all I could do not to exclaim
That you need sky for the clouds to rain
As I discovered a newfound glory
Something exists outside the story
And it’s living itself as me
It’s like the storm has been set free
To wage its unholy war
To show you what peace is for
And it’s broken me down to a fragment
I’m still looking for where the person went
As it vacates the premises
I let go of the notion of nemesis
As everything turns to a quiet state
Do we have to learn to hate
When we’ve been set free
I let the chains fall off of me
The non spectacular nature of Now
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old
Enough of your reign over this land
I was honest and faithful, you were underhand
And you always find ways to point out my flaws
Say what’s underneath when the ice thaws
And you gave me pause
A moment to think about a hidden clause
In all you perambulate
Find a way to get out of that state
And into another
You were never close to being a brother
To me
And I see
All the design done deleteriously
Is falling into my palm
You were the storm before the Great Calm
There’s something superb on my window pane
And all of my fighting I have done in vain
Coz he’s waiting for me when I get home
And there’s nothing I ever have to do alone
And he’s sweet and innocent
Pausing and true
I let him fall into open arms and you
Are always there when I get back
There’s nothing in me that you lack
As you fail to find refuge in foreign seas
And get diagnosed with the dreamer’s disease
But it’s not make believe that he was there
And I found a diamond in true care
The burning furore that sits in my chest
The need to always be the best
And speak out what no one’s talking to
Is it wrong to put the spotlight on you
To shine away what’s been kept hidden
It’s beautiful, it is unbidden
And it’s longing just to find a home
You’re beautiful as you are, alone
Is it just a private grievance
Always holding myself back
Because I see the wings of angels
Ready to attack
For all I’m lost and holding
Forever to the degree
It’s infinitesimal
But it means the world to me
To see you reengage
With the world that you know
I’d be waiting for you
I said it to you slow
So the mountains bate their breath
And everything in between
Is like a summer in the winter
Or waking from the dream
He writes songs about the chad
And the Irish way of feeling bad
About it
But you couldn’t doubt it
When it’s falling from his lips
And it is an eclipse
From the depths of blue rivers run
There’s no way of seeing the sun
Not when he’s got a song
And I’ve gotta say there’s nothing wrong
With all I’ve grown up to be
It’s only now I’m starting to see
The landscape hidden from view
Thanks for sharing your vista
And I know I could’ve missed ya
But I just saw the sea
Rising up from the wintery
Snow that you’ve been freezing in
Abjectly shivering
But put your hands to the blaze
It’s a fire that’s learned to save
Is marriage the line I cannot traverse
And I can only watch them rehearse
And get ready for the big day
Pretend I don’t care anyway
When all I love is walking down the aisle
And seeing you turn and spill a smile
Into my eyes eternally
But you’re looking at her, not me
And I shouldn’t be jealous
Or covet what’s hers
It’s just you were mine
Amongst the firs
As we make Heaven
Come down to Earth
And I wash away
The pain that you hurt
With, to you and many
Now I see her in your gaze
And there isn’t any
Anything I can do to change
The way the molecules rearrange
To the sound of sulfur on your breath
Tinged with my greatest regret
Is this goodbye
Now I’m letting go
Of the pain that had me
Wedded to you, you know
And every tale
I keep in a locket
Is a symbol of
How they forgot it
Coz the season changes
And time renews
And what’s bad in the morning
Becomes old news
I click my heels together
When I hear your name
It’s been an ocean
And I won’t be the same
But loving you slightly
Will always be
Taking a dram
Of straight destiny
I feel myself sinking down into the midnight
The absence of perfume, the absence of light
The dawn of knowing what you cannot say
The reluctant acceptance of what cannot stay
And I know in the storm there is a break of day
And when you trust in God it’ll all be okay
But sometimes the ocean is just too deep
And I try to catch a few moments of sleep
Before I awaken with a start
Like everything good it comes from the heart
They’re selling an American Dream
But I’m walking on a moonbeam
As it guides my way home
And tells me I’m not alone
As I open out into the vast expanse
Perceive the space as the molecules dance
To make up the shape of me
The frame of what is memory
Held together by a subtle flaw
I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw
You’re burning up the atmosphere
Like the ozone layer is clear
And fuck that bullshit, I spin the dial
And listen to you sincere
Coz the guy beside me loves me
And I love him too
But the worst of the weather
Means it is not you
And closing my eyes is all I can do
So that I won’t know
The places where I should not go
Though they call to me
An elephant graveyard or Eternity
Could you please give me a clue
You laugh and say the answer too!
The Poetry Book 