What did I forget
Is it the way your bulletproof tinges my regret
As we walk to home
Sometimes forever is better alone
As when the tide goes out
And it’s like a drought
On my lips
Or a midnight eclipse
One you can’t see
I dunno about you but that’s about me
In the wonder years
When I bottled all my tears
And sold them for cash
Brilliant but just a bit rash
As steam on a sunny day
It rises then it goes away
To be replaced
By the sunset the storm effaced
Can death happen
Or is it just another ruse
An illusion designed to confuse
Us here on earth
We grow from the dirt
With the bodies we weave
And everything else is up our sleeve
In resident dread
I wake for God’s sake and deny him instead
My acceptance
Like the rejection
Could be anything to him
The pain just pushes me to go within
And find the source
Of grief that runs without remorse
Down the window pane
Is it gonna happen again
Or do I know
Now that I am letting it go
That no iron can strike
The open mic
That shouts my name
She left and nothing is the same
Looking for the gifts and the fruits
Not growing up to be one of those suits
I asked why I wasn’t suddenly wise
And why it is that everyone dies
If we’re all eternal
And what is the infernal
But another cast of the dice
And reincarnation means more than twice
What do people believe
The kingdom of heaven up your sleeve
Or something new
He came to save all of you
And his example
Means no sheep is left stranded
On a mountaintop
His Love is a lot
And I find it hard to bear
The way the fabric suddenly tear
The sky in two
I was with him but thinking of You
And summer came just like a minidress
The ominous that I suppress
Threatens to override
The system that I’ve tried to hide
In all the folds and creases of paper
Get out of the rat race and caper
That endlessly flies
As somewhere in the distance a child cries
With no one too soothe
And I’m self indulgently in a mood
Coz I don’t get my way
But what would God say
If he had breath to breathe
And lungs with which the words were freed
To express themselves
Is it time to take honesty down off the shelves
The power of my voice
I speak and it’s not by choice
It’s like God has hold of my tongue
And I surrendered to Him when I was young
Now he commands more than I can believe
I let Him move me and it relieve
The pressure that’s been building
Up in my soul
Does a wave know it’s water
When it starts to roll
Only to crash back into the sea
Never really leaving the vicinity
Of ocean all the time
I thought I could call the people mine
But they turned on me and the desire
Burned in me like sulfurous fire
Always aching to reach out beyond
They lock me up and I abscond
Only to be returned to the same place again
The bathroom floor and me are great friends
And it is cool against my cheek
Do you remember that time I got weak
And collapsed in front of the class
I didn’t know the Revelation last
Now I’ve got vines pulling at my hands
I’ve got an hourglass and it’s slipping sand
But does God just turn it when the time runs out
So He can achieve without any doubt
And is there a way I can transcend
Something about the riverbend
And being open to what you don’t know
I held on so tight, now I let go
And the winter can’t stop me loving the snow
His hand connected with the wrong side of a blow
And I was felled just like a tree
Except it didn’t really happen to me
Just some grass in the forest
I don’t know what I’m doing, if I’m being honest
But the road is paved, the path is beaten
And I can’t avoid the moment I meet Him
There in the woods of ill repute
You wear a dress, I’ll play the flute
And music will last for the whole night
I look up and grin because I am alright
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady
And I dunno but I think that she hates me
For intruding on their sacred space
But he was a drug I loved to taste
And the hit was high
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
Like it’s a final sort of end
Or worse maybe we’re still friends
And he could call me pal
But I’m not a second best sort of gal
I’d rather cut my losses and run
Find something else that shines the sun
And who knows, maybe it’s not a man
Maybe there’s no limit to what I can
Do
It’s just not you
And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony
Listening to that guy that’s lonely
And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note
Give him letters that he can quote
Like before
When he beat a path to my door
Only for me to fly
And the year the whole world threatened to die
In a storming cavalcade
Is it a fate we can evade
Or is it an absolute rest
We get the day before the test
Stuck in ‘08
It was my date with fate
As it led me to your door
Did you want me more
More than I can attest
And we’re both fully dressed
But I feel your eyes rake over me
Like we’re naked with destiny
Just us and the come what may
And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say
But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding
But there’s something of love that is all abiding
Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else
With skin so thin you could make a heart melt
With the fire that burns off you
It seared a part of me too
And I can’t change the fact of you
I’m not the same and neither are you
But we both kinda are
Like the atoms forged in a star
Or the matter that make time and space
Bend the equivalent of the human race
To the tune of light refract
I never said no but I still want you back
Standing outside my window
It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though
And I cannot deny my feelings were real
With the depth of the red that he deal
An ace of hearts
And mine almost starts
To beat double time
He was the essence of fine
As he’d crack a smile in my direction
Like he’s open to cards if I make selection
And he lives just across the hall
And he kinda caught the ball
When I threw it at him
Is it a decision I cannot win
Coz I love them all
The truth in my own freefall
I've got a house by the coast And I'd like you to live in it with me I know we've had our differences But would you just forgive me Coz you're like the rain Thundering on the roof You're like the love The myth and the proof And I've seen so long The years of doing it so wrong And you're over there But you've got to know that I still care As her lashes weave Everything you might believe Up the edges of your sleeve Like the heart you keep on lock or leave And I hold it so tight Because you are alright You know, And I go And seek the forest in the trees It's not everyone that believes But somewhere in the sidelines I know that you do I've got a home for us Well, for me and you Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/okVXy9tG3KY?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditShareLink
It’s threadbare, the stitching of us
We’re nothing if not broken trust
Coz you swallowed the bullet I handed to you
You stitched the thread and pulled it through
And the chandelier shatters on the floor
How could I hate what I adore
As he drives a splinter into my soul
And it’s just a memory, the being whole
Coz it cascaded
And the beauty faded
Into a midnight of ill repute
And there’s that picture of him in a suit
But he moved on, he forgot me
It’s like a rope and the fibres knot me
Into a thread I long to fray
Is everything thing okay?
But he turns away and the darkness reigns
The years of doing things in vain
And trying to get back to the level playing field
I watched them sway in the wind and yield
Down by the lake
And do you know what love forsake
When it took him from me
Like the ocean to the sea
In wondrous tones
I always end up alone
Though I’ve got friends and I’ve got family
But in the dead of night there isn’t any way
You can avoid the dark
Just waiting for that holy spark
To light the fuse
Why did you think you were something I could use?
Maybe it was the song
And d’ya know, you weren’t wrong
Incognito window, I’m under the radar
I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar
But I know that I can make planets spin
With the love that’s inside and the peace within
And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees
There are no words for the wonder it frees
When the weight just drops
The what you are’s in the space the love’s got
And I am not a mountain but I am not hill
I can move power with the strength of will
And she never helped me out
But I guess that’s just the space in doubt
To be forgotten or held so close
Do you see through what I love the most
Or must I just let it die
Not be afraid to spill tears and cry
Over what is yet to come
And a woman takes away the man’s son
What can you do but acquiesce
The movement’s in the way you dress
And shoulder weight like diamond mines
I’d let it go coz it’s fine
In the sunshine and the rain
I don’t think that I can do this again
So I relinquish the right to be wrong
And open heart into a song
To make it alright again
I give up on the world you spin
The sound of you
Has echoed through these halls
And it’s bringing down barriers
And cavernous walls
Until all is a grand open space
With not one instant of my time gone to waste
And I hit pause in 2011
All because the sound of Heaven
Was just too damn real
And you’re not the boy I want to steal
Away with into the night
But you came close to it, alright
And I spill ink on the canvas I draw
I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw
In the sunlight you bequeath
And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet
But you turn my face upward with your palm
You look at me and I am calm
I’m the storm that surround
You are worth the way it resounds
And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient
I’m an artist and I try to paint it
But it never lives up to what you are
A feeble try to condense a star
Into matter and fusion
But it was just confusion
To say I don’t love you so
And I just want you to know
That you crack the glass with your smile
And I dream of you for a little while
But it is real as can be
I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea
Muddy shoes walk all over my floor
As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore
And it could be Christ the King
Or the boy with a broken wing
All I know is that the stars announce
The girl I was, the one that you denounce
As I place one foot in front of another
Never knew what it was like to have a brother
Who watches my back
Just a girl and the attack
Was launched on me
Fifteen years and I’m still not free
Of what she inflicted
And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it
It just I carry the scar that hurts
I blame you for it and what’s worse
Is that I make myself suffer for what never was
I don’t know gravity because
When I was brought down to earth
I was in open space and the dirt
Is evidence on my coat
That I met a Holy Ghost
I unlock my phone
And Chocolate opens
Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding
And you’re too sweet to be believed
You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve
Only an endless free terrain
And I’ve spent years studying your pain
From afar
And Teresa named a star
After me
So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see
Under ever present heavens
We were both born on elevens
And so I tick my clock
Wondering what it is you’re not
In all that you claim to be
You were my favorite song to see
Shadow work I wade through the dirt That rises in our wake The sandstorm is so hard to shake And I filter it down to something simple You pop it like a pimple Coz we are One But we are two Some Advaita To soothe you Into a lull where you will listen To my hands as the snowdrops glisten On your skin like stone Where's twilight when it's at home But we're no creature and his prey We're fighting just to get through the day With our wands and magic paper You said goodbye and I, see you later And will tomorrow be too soon For us to share a room Coz you move me with a stare I didn't look but I knew you were there I could just sense it in the stance Of a heart which started to dance At the mere sight of my form And I feel my cheeks get warm Knowing that you're just inches away Are there words to make you stay Or is everything all up in the air All I know is that you were there And so was I I feel the moment start to die As a grim realisation overcomes And my charm just succumbs To some preordained reality I never claimed infallibility Just that I'm here to stay And stay in love with you too, okay?
One of us comes The other one goes I wear the pants He just knows And we found love Where it can dance Did you take a breath Or a second chance On the money Or off the floor What is it about love That we adore Coz you're summer I'm winter We're a cyclical thing And I know it's real When I hear the bell ring And we lift off The ground is below The air is free But do you go When I open my heart And pour out my wounds I didn't think the end Would come so soon And you're looking past me Into the sky What's it about love That will neither live nor die
I was something
And I could see
A new and different version of me
And it’s come to pass
That I have come to ace the class
Of transformation
Coz they flick the tv station
But the score
Is always I want more
Than what is
But I am His
And I found in life
A reflection of his beauty
In a man and it’s my duty
To explain that I
See through the body that die
Into the effortless supreme
I gasped and it woke the dream
He’s gotta be cool and he’s gotta be sweet
And it’s gotta be fireworks the day that we meet
It’s gotta be sunshine, it’s gotta be rain
And it’s gotta be turmoil not seeing him again
And what if the person I describe is you
I wonder would you describe me too
If you could put pen to write out a list
Second guess what I dismissed
As only passing, temporary, soul
But it’s like making music at the Super Bowl
There’s a crowd there that will cheer
And far away seems so near
When you are so close
Temporal as a Holy Ghost
To reach up and touch
The man I love so much
I had feelings for you back in the day
But then I just used you to explain Darragh away
And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping
The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping
In the recesses of my soul
Is there a together in the growing old
Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth
Find our own way in the dark
As he speaks to me
Weaving a thread on the tapestry
To paint the picture of us
And we’ve always had trust
Why did you hide your face
So I couldn’t keep you in place
Where you were
Let you run off with an adjacent her
In the winter of my life
Moored in strife
As the cavalry came
To take all but my name from me
Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion
I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in
A moment of truth
And I can’t claim the auspices of youth
Anymore
Is that you at my door?
Well, for God’s sake come in!
You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him
Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene
I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream
And his words are fuckin’ insane
But I still remember his name
And the way his hair curls around in locks
The way he walks a palace that time forgot
And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day
At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay?
And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said
You’re always making your home where you lay your head
And find something honest and real and true
That was just with them and now it’s with you
In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain
I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain
To be the storm centre, the very eye
Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die
At least for another fifty or so years
Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears
And look up to the heavens when the sky clears
I drink one to you when I’m having my beers
I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw
When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law
That seems to hold court and company
I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee
Professing my love to the moon and stars
Do you remember the days when it was prison bars
And nothing meant anything to anyone you know
Now you wave at me as I watch you go
With the train that has taken you from the station
I guess congrats are in order for the celebration
Of all you have earned that is duly yours
And I know you could say that this is all words
When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps
Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps
And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you
You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new
Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew
You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue
So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes
And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes
Finding the balance between this and that
And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back
And I am loved and I’m secure
I’m wading in water but the current is pure
And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky
Poised between to live and to die
And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in
And it’s over before it really ever begin
It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance
Hold out my hand to you to dance
And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will
Like drinking in water til you have your fill
The sunset, the morning, the consuming night
I know in the end we’ll all be alright
I don’t want to start a fight
I don’t wannna take aim
It’s just I catch my breath
When I see her name
Next to yours instead of mine
It walks over me like a thousand times
And I know she’s real nice but I would wait
Until you trace the hands of fate
And saw it bring you to my side
In your presence I’m alive
And soaring like a bird in flight
And I know you might be alright
But I’m nothing without you my sweetest babe
I don’t even have the room to save
Myself from the gnashing of teeth
I think I’m stranded on the beach
Waiting for my ship to come in
And don’t you know it’s always Him
No matter what is said to deter
And I just wish the best for her
Because she kept you close when times were tough
And my excuse is simply not enough
And I know I was away
And you would always say
You wanted someone
And being too young
Is no reason to protest
I looked away, you did the rest
As the cymbal clattered to the floor
And I’ve never wanted anything more
Than I want you now
But I gotta give space to allow
You to have your breathing room
I loved you too late after too soon
Coz you stride across the hill
I look up and still
I see you standing there
With the wind in your hair
And your magnitude
Just a really cool dude
To open my eyes into
I know it’s not enough that you
Loved me then before I let you go
I’m writing this so you know
That your soul has a place beside the embers I warm
And you can chill by the heat of the storm
And I know it’s really bad form
To tell you this now when true love has been born
And I see you with her
And what we were
Is just echoes now in my mind
As I’m sad over what I’ve left behind
And you say it’s gone
But I can hear it in that song
You play when you think nobody cares
But I look through it all with devil may cares
And your silhouette
Is not something I could ever forget
As the stars
Make magical music out of the bars
That hold me in
If only I could get to him
But it’s a futile shot
He only sees all that I’m not
Nor could be
I amn’t she
And we
Eternity
Could never refresh
The page easily
As a new sky dawns
And our youth is almost nearly gone
Eaten up by time
Like the melody you sang with the line
When you didn’t know
That you are everywhere I go
In college days
I find you there in so many ways
Just a glance
A laugh, a second chance
The fear
The feeling you close as though you are near
In the library
But you’re kissing her beside me
I just don’t see
Til now, at least, an infinity
And, love, will you ever know
That I stared at you headlong until I go
Back to your door
Rap a knock like a mini score
But you adore
The Goddess you found by the shore
And I know
Though I implore
Everything’s settled on the ground floor
And foundations deep
Underlie all that you intend to keep
And just a day
A million light years away
Can’t convince
You to change your mind since
I showed up
I don’t even know if you could call this love
It’s just you’re everything I’m thinking of
And the sky
Holds nothing to the blue of your eye
Black hole deep
Full of the light that it will keep
From a million stars that throw away
Their beams to your frame as you walk away
And I
Will love you like this til the day that I die
And cry
That we never got to be
As he takes the role of the quintessential he
Of my dreams
I know it’s not all that it seems
And I’m not Einstein
But would I be a fool to call you mine
In another dimension
One without all the surface tension
And suspense
We climbed out of both of our tents
Never knowing what’s in store
Where the zip on the line made way for a door
And you, effervescent you, just laugh
You don’t do things by half
Do you
And if it means that much to
You I will love her too
Celebrate the days of you
Two down in the park
Before I even knew that we start
Oh, the longing to be
Somewhere near your soliloquy
But it just rhymes somewhere in the distance
And I give up on the resistance
And allow
You to live your own life somehow
Just know
I love you deep like the mountain of snow
That rolls down avalanche cloud
My voice is shaking but I say it out loud
And the words don’t make sense and you’re shouting at me
Something about nothing and our history
And the lines blur
You were always with her
In the years
And the tears
And you see
This, you and I, and Infinity
I spent my youth fearing old age
Now I’m finally flipping the page
And finding out that the aforementioned
Is really not in this dimension
Because I extend out
Far beyond the realms of doubt
To the furnace roar and the circumstance
Do you know the electrons dance
In perpetual motion
And nothing can replace devotion
In the furthering of things
And a million rings
Cannot make me replace
The love that I came here to taste
And just drink in
It wasn’t just with him
But everyone
Everyone the immaculate Son
Of Destiny
Do you think he thinks of me
With his hand on the trigger
A rifle to fire
But love’s not down low
But somewhere higher
To take in the vista
And one can only say “I missed ya”
If you believe the lie
People we love cannot die
But fly
On immutable wings
And everything in creation sings
Of its unborn nature
My love, I could never hate ya
Looking for salvation in the stars
It’s like trying to round some prison bars
As they, adjacent, keep a defense
Til you’re hands and knees in the present tense
And do I confess
My wilderness and impress
Some secret subtlety afar
Oh, the world, how near you are
When you just take a glance
At the vulnerable in my stance
And I wish away
Tomorrow another yesterday
Don’t you see
That you were the ocean to me
And the sea at night
Oh, how it glitters in the moonlight
To reflect your face
Now forever is without a trace
Gone from these hands
I’m on the shore just pacing sand
As you glide effortlessly along another terrain
Have all my past lives been in vain
To bring me to this
A pair of lips that death might kiss
Someday or will
The power of life to kill
All that it breathes air into
And consciousness is quintessentially you
So you can’t lose it
But did I choose it
This marching band
There’s nothing I have really planned
Coz all falls away
And what you leave til another day
Gets left behind
They say I am out of my mind
But I think they’re wrong
I’m too deep in it and that’s my song
Can I hold the tune
I did when you walked in the room
And my heart hammered against my chest
The depth of wisdom that I invest
In you to be all you claim
Now it’s been years and you’re just a name
I click into
Tell me did I ever reach you
Or was it all just empty talk
The way you hold yourself when you walk
Like you’ve been punched
Something hits you and I can feel the crunch
As you double over side to side
But hell if I know you’re still alive
And kicking me somewhere under the seat
Why did heaven have us meet
If it was just to part
And you are the king of my heart
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A permanent doubt in the foundation
It cracked at the onset of my education
And I dressed myself each day
But something had gone away
And I try to function and be strong
But all I wondered is where I went wrong
To be so fragile and weak
A sensitive I cannot speak
As I try to hold it all together
But you cannot ignore the weather
As it blows in a storm
At least the heat keeps you warm
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The desert wasteland of thirty years old
Do you believe in everything you’re told
Or is all and sundry just something to match
Setting fire to your roof of thatch
Do we all just fade away into the night
Or is there life to eternal ignite
And it never struck me that it might be strange
That I can see atoms rearrange
As they weigh on the bough of a tree
Or comes pressing down on me
As I lie in my bed at night
Before I was born into holy light
That flames my spirit to a soar
And let me know there’s something more
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The Jesus in my soul
Is a story I haven’t told
Coz He is always there
A place of true care
And I fell in love with men
Hoping I would see Him again
In moments silent and true
I saw reflections in the eyes of you
And you stand tall and look like a hero
And I’m on my way to absolute zero
And I dig the earth
Disregard the waves of hurt
In ages pulling hence
The present moment’s never in the past tense
And He is a forest of trees
All you have to do is believe
And trust when you’re letting go
That he will catch you, you know
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Why do I love the thing I hate
He spits out; I made him wait
And we’re at odds again
And he isn’t even my friend
Anymore
He closed the door
So why do I wait outside in the freezing cold
Some would say I’m being bold
But one thing is the story told
Must pave its own way to the forest
Am I only being honest
Or do I live the lie
What it is like to die
I ponder it in bed at night
Coz the darkness absorbs the light
And I’ve slept better since I got this lamp
The Himalayan sea salt absorbs the damp
That used to make its way into my bones
Now I’m split between alternate homes
And everywhere I go I fray
But I’m really doing okay
It’s just this uncertainty
Set up like it’s her or me
And a just divide is remote
I catalogue the things I quote
In my phone, in a book, on a ripped page
I burn some incense and strike up some sage
Until I’m all but zoning out
High on lies and all my doubt
And tomorrow won’t remember
All the hope I felt engender
On the cusp of a riverbed
What was it that guy said
That every dog must have its day
But mine is over so I say
That I’ll let it be and come what may
I’ll leave the grass you made me stay
Upon for a moment or two
It is an eon this dream of you
But the grasp is getting weak
And now we don’t even speak
And you can’t hold back what won’t cry
I am not afraid to die
Because I saw through the whole scene
And now it’s like I live the dream
With two brand new eyes
Awakening, the best surprise
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She’s been keeping me
In her captivity
But I, my love,
Am born to be free
She’s been keeping me
In her secret den
But I break out
Over and over again
And it’s not for want
Of love nor money
It’s just that I
Can’t be that, honey
Not as hard as I try
To contain
I’m a cloud that must
Come down as rain
And I love you
In my deepest core
It’s just I can’t
Hold back anymore
This awning gap
Within my soul
I must let go
And be whole
Though it doesn’t change
My feelings deep
It’s just a promise
God must to keep
To restore me
To what I was before
There’s a lot
In and out of store
There’s a lot to be
And to know
I long to see
So I must go
Off to that
Far distant shore
But I’m right here
And I’ll always adore
Exactly what
You are to me
Captivity
Has been set free
Photo:https://pin.it/116Xoq5
It’s a beautiful Saturday evening
Crisp and clean
Like you’d be playing football
On our field of dreams
And I couldn’t reconcile
The golden green mile
I had to walk
Through valleys of talk
And ideals ripped asunder
Days when my number
Was up
But love
Pushed me through the needle eye
Coz it’s not my time to die
At least not just yet
But I don’t forget
Our moment out of time
And the instant you were mine
I held a holy hand
And it was like sand
Slipping through my fingers
Where are the bringers
Of the doom I seem to sense
And the forest is dense
But I’m all good
Pine cone bed in the middle of the wood
Running like a river
But I can’t get away
What if I let it catch me
And I agree to stay
In the forest of my dreams
In the midnight of my tome
I’m away from you
Or the place that I call home
In the winter, in the summer
In spring, come what may
In autumn the leaves change colour
Because they cannot stay
The same as they’ve been
And life moves on
There’s no need to mourn
What is already gone
The life I swore I wouldn’t live in
I just crawled back towards the sin
And made a stick house out of lollipop sticks
Chew gum and hope that something sticks
Coz I’m out in the open when I’m with you
I shed my clothes coz you asked me to
And in my defense I have none
I gave it up for God’s Son
And I’m humming mobile as I walk
Wonder if I’m just all talk
Or does the substance of me
Have something to give you for free
But you’re all tied up with her
Denying everything we ever were
And I’m the last one in the club
(But I say no to the drug)
You just offer up
But I can’t call this love
Not when you bargain a chip
Then say I’m the one with it
The last one at the table
Look at me if you’re able
Coz you drop your eyes
Like there is no disguise
That could ever keep us apart
And I must admit I am all heart
When it’s beating for you
Don’t walk away just coz I asked you to
I’m just scared that’s all
(And you are really tall)
Could you maybe hold my hand
For a moment’s change before the sand
Runs out of the hourglass
Did I ever tell you you are class!
Imma bounce
Like a cat about to pounce
Or the people you denounce
Coz I just can’t stay still in chains
I look up to the sky and it rains
Open air and fresh water blues
You know the breeze smells of you
Like fresh grass or school in the nineties era
Kind of scary and I feared ya
When you looked deeply into me
What is it that you see
Coz your eyes are golden
And no one would believe me even if I’d told em
But you stay still and silent as the grave
I never knew my own power to save
With my mere presence alone
Now you’re just on the other end of a phone
And I followed every line you dropped
Til the moment when it just stopped
And I couldn’t contain the rush
Is it now we get to touch
Coz we seem separated by a million miles
But I could never pay for one of your smiles
It radiates like a frequency to burn
I swear you make the world turn
I’ve never spoken of my feelings for you
And I don’t know why
And I’m always scared
You’re gonna die
Coz I hold you so dear
But you’re never near
And I don’t think you understand
I never had any of this planned
And I know you’ve got a life
And its unreasonable to think a wife
Is what I could be
It’s borderline delusional a history
But I’ve gotta speak this longing in my heart
The reverberations start
When you’re near the scene
And the fabric of my dream
Starts to shimmer
Did you use the dimmer
Switch coz the light in here
Is gone all moody and I fear
That I may be for you over again
I’m fascinated by other men
But you hold this draw
Like you’re the rule and the cosmic law
Pulls me to your door
Don’t you love me anymore?
The fire’s brimming full
And I can’t bear the cotton wool
They wrap me in
Can I begin
To become a star
Like the way I feel afar
When the rain is thundering down
And I’m just driving around the town
I used to call home
And am I all alone
Or does she care
And do I dare
To spill the words
Like liquid ink
Is it okay to think
Whatever I like
But, Lord, don’t give her a mic
We’re on the frontier of a new design
And it’s not like I can call anything mine
As we switch up the fray
And while it’s sunny I’m gonna make hay
And set it in store
Could you wish for anything more
Than grain in the barn
And those you love safe from harm
As the storm rages
And I’m furiously writing pages
Coz I’ve just got to get this damn thing down
Before the ocean rises and we start to drown
Because I cannot quell the tide
But I can speak while I’m alive
Slow dancing in the street
The moment our heart meet
And realise it’s one
And the sun
Has gone down
We’re dancing in the dark of this town
And I want you as much as I ever did
There’s a part of my soul that’s his
As we move to a steady sway
And everything is okay
With his arms around me
It’s kinda like love surround me
I’m the midnight of a moment that I share
I was happy because you were there
I was just walking home with Daz
Wondering about that shine he has
And I would’ve asked him up
If I thought he’d’ve wanted a cup
Of tea to warm our bones
Coz we are so far from home
Here in this big city
And it’s a bit shitty
I never told you how I felt
Never let on the cards were dealt
The first time you smiled at me
You know you made me feel pretty
And I feel so aged and old
But it’s not too late for our story to be told
And I wonder how you are
Did you find a star
To shine as bright as you do
And do I still mean something to you?
Is this an artist’s rendering
Of unimaginable pain
It all came down on me
Like thunderous rain
And I look afar
There was no sign
But I’m still so sure
Of what was once mine
That’s just barely there
But still it is
I was hers
Before I was his
And all I do is hide it
There are days I can’t abide it
But I trudge through the snow
Is it wrong to let her know
How much I suffered without her
And I’m all faith but there are days a doubter
Like Thomas and the Saviour
It took years to raise her
Up from the phoenix and ash
I swore I’d be there if you’d ever come back
But it’s like using a cane
To get around
It works but it’s not the exact sound
Of the step I used to know
And I can’t let go
Of all the people I love
The ones beside me
The ones above
The days that close in the evening
The team and Don’t Stop Believing
In all that you used to be
Is there somewhere it is you and me?
I remember the chats I used to have
With a certain Shane
And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name
But he made me feel awesome socks
I ran away when the door knocks
And it’s him asking to be let in
And I just shout over the din
Of the silence that resounds
Sometimes the quiet is the only sound
And he’s too quick to doubt belief
I stand listening like a thief
That would steal away a word
Like it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard
And we lost the Americans that day on the bus
And our friend is where I place my trust
As I lean on her arm for support
We’ve always had a kind of rapport
Ever since that day in Delphi
Where we saw the sheep like an elf we
Had a vision of the whole land
Washing over the waves like sand
And she’s taller than I can believe
And cooler than I can thieve
Away from the sky
Something binds us until we die
And I hung out with the engineers
And found some moments that life endears
Me to all and sundry
Just don’t look for sunny on a Monday
And she’s the one who told me to scrawl
My thoughts on the internet like a graffitied wall
And I’ve gotta be grateful to her and all
As I jumped up to catch the ball
And land with running feet
To the place where destiny meet
It’s tv on the radio and all I see
Is you throwing shapes at me
The love I have for you
Burns magnets into the sky
The love I have for you
Is not afraid to die
And even when the goings tough
The waves they rage, it’s not enough
But something pulls us through
And I have faith in you
In weather inclement or fair
I gotta trust that you are there
Ready to be by my side
Always keeping my love alive
Nathaniel springs to mind
He is the drug I hug in kind
And the seasons spin around
But we all stand on solid ground
Ready to stamp our boots
For a tree to grow it must have roots
And soak up the moisture from the soil
And I wouldn’t be a Coyle
If I didn’t stand up for what’s true
And it just so happens that truth is You
I’m suspending disbelief
To hear what you’ve got to say to me
And you whisper in my ear
Try to induce a tear
But I ain’t crying anymore
Is that you knocking on my door
And if it is will I let you in
It is always the holy him
Rocking a beard and a pair of glasses
Oh, all the guys that he outclasses
With his shy and then so sure
And I’ve always been sorta pure
And I gotta say it’s always for you
I’ve got a bracelet I wanna give to you
As a token of my affection
So make a selection
It’s me on the end of the line
And you come back a thousand times
And I get the sense that you need
More than someone who can make you bleed
In just the right way
So hear what I gotta say
About love and it’s opposite
I’m so restless I can barely sit
And you’re the one in talking with
Some kind of cocaine music star
You are the king of my heart
My Jesus opened the door
He let me see that there’s something more
Beyond the chasm of calls
The teaching of words, the world’s enthralled
And I was on my knees begging to sky
Watching someone I love slowly die
Why don’t you do something, where are you
But you took her and put me through
Some kind of hell
What is it the story that you tell
That the Almighty is all that exists
Then why did you put me on your list
And it’s a sudden awning pain
Like the cold when you’ve been out in rain
And I’m on the floor
With my head resting against the door
And a sudden spark ignites
Wherefrom did all these lights
Appear
And I hear her say, my dear
Like she always did when she was alive
And her flowers didn’t survive
But something she planted did, God knows
It’s been living in me and it shows
So I wash my face, dry my tears
And I’ve been holding it in for years and years
And it’s finally singing a song
My Lord, you did nothing wrong
And it’s more than a future reunite
It’s a love that holds you in the night
When you’re punching the air
Cursing all that isn’t there
But something new is born
The moment that the fabric’s torn
Find your way back to me
Make future history
And stories we can tell the grandchildren
That gather round the hearth
And what you save for me in the dark
And you can tell her she’s welcome too
Or I am with her and you
It’s just I can’t write this off
And it’s not a sunk cost
But something I’d invest in
Even if it didn’t win
And there have been trees in the forest of me
Falling onto pine needle dignity
As they hold me against my will
And all of my senselessness spill
Into hilarity
I’m laughing at the thought of you and me
On my bed in a chasm
And I love that she still has him
Coz they look so perfect together
And d’ya know it’s lovely weather
For a sky to break
And I’m counting every breath I take
Coz they’re numbered
And have you ever wondered
Just what’s fueling your love affair
Don’t you feel me there
In lashes and guilt and opening doors
Are men too quick to call women whores
For being connected to another dimension
And this is just a logical extension
Of the need to be
Quintessentially free
Did I learn from my degree
That she
In effervescent tones
Sparkles when you’re all alone
And diamonds can’t buy what’s given
Some people survive and call it living
And I gotta say
I can’t save this for another day
But anyway
Hit me up, if that’s okay?
I can feel you
Hairs breadth close
And I’ve fought to find
Love and God knows
That’s not the way
It’s not just what you say
It’s what you are
And I drive a nifty car
But it can’t drive me to the stars
I never meant to break your heart
As I stumble into your arms
I dream of us growing old on farms
With our children around us like the bough of a tree
Covered in leaves of dignity
As we flourish and hold the space
Of all we thought to create
With our love
It fits like a glove
And telepathy
Is someone just talking to me
Like a radio wave chime
Signaling the intro to a new time
I let the water percolate
To pull the world out of this state
And do we give with our whole hearts
Or do we lead in fits and starts
I know coz I see it in you
But, damn, it’s not just us two
And there are those in other shoes
Who can’t get by without our dues
And just because we’re strong
Don’t mean we can’t put a foot wrong
And I know the sand by the water
I know the feeling of being daughter
But I’ve grown to realise
The permanence in temporary skies
And even rain and sun
Must give way to the One
The Eternal Sphere
It’s evidence is crystal clear
Just turn within
The Son of God and I am Him
We gotta draw the line
(I tell him I’m fine)
But he insists that I
Am too distressed not to die
And I try to fight
But he blows out the candlelight
So I’m just fumbling in the dark
For a torch in the park
And it’s no place to be in times like these
And St. Pat’s brought me to my knees
And I want to fly in the face
Of what they swear is my disgrace
And I disagree
But his degree
Is not in conflict resolution
And he seeks the dissolution
Of this state of mind
But look at what I’d leave behind
If I just left you there
With no one watching and no one to care
As I muck it out in the trenches
They call my name when I’m sitting on benches
My place to make a scene
And this vision is a dream
But I will make it real
I pay back what I steal
I a hundred pound notes
I’m Gandhi or at least one of his quotes
Do I believe in the holy sisterhood
Has me doing things for the good
Of others not myself
Because the way the cards are dealt
Seem to aim for our division
As we fight each other like some kind of Britain
And if we’re not to fuel empire
Must we attenuate desire
Or could we grow and speak
The power that makes us weak
And I smile at the good
Of your heart and the wood
Is dense and thick
And you’re kinda driving stick
Around the road in front of me
As I’m lying, automatically
The year I took myself to task
Was the year that I thought to ask
You if you would be my friend
And the year of twenty one will never end
But it’s filled with ennui
Coz I lost what I gave for free
And all the time you were with her
I didn’t know that it stir
As you wake up to believe
More than wiping your eyes with your sleeve
And I got committed to a mental equation
Adding up how I might hate him
But I can’t make it last or real
As they try to make me not feel
Anything at all, a deadening tome
I thought you stood alone
But there was wind in your hair
I didn’t realise she was your air
As I breathed in all I could take
Til I’m the diamond you forsake
Hidden in the rough and tumble
But my facade starts to crumble
As I let the truth sneak in
Would I settle for just part of him?
I looked out the window I watched for the tide With news from the sea That you might be alive And I can't preempt destiny Or run with the wolves I've just got this awesome And hot damn it pulls Me like a thread Through a needle eye I just wait for news And hope you don't die Somewhere afar Where I can't reach you Life said, love, listen And let the truth teach you Coz I can't be a summer When winter has dawned I can't be the clock face That someone has pawned For gold or money Or just getting by I know life is hard But I've gotta try To find the flow That runs a river I know I've been gone But could you forgive her For the fear in her blood It runs in her veins And it's not easy To erase the stains That come from a life Of denying truth It's almost too much The paragon of youth As I finally come round The smelling salts Wake me and take me As my nose assaults My senses with something That's meant to rouse I don't mean to disappoint I want to make you proud
The night came down on my like an evening There was a day when I stopped believing In all that I'd been taught to know Coz it don't explain the way that you go And I stand there looking But it's to no avail And there is a moment When all words fail And all that's left Is the tears And I cry them For years and years With no break in the monsoon And when I'm alone in my room I can express what you mean to me And how we have our date with destiny I held on tight But nothing can extinguish the light Once it has started to burn I finally realise why the world must turn
Always calling out For some kind of aid But now I write poetry And I get paid For a living That I make myself I have to say That abundant wealth Is just knowing who you are And what you do Is an extenuating circumstance Like falling in love with you
The Poetry Book 