Resuming Communications

I’ve finally realized I can talk to you again
When I gave up and they said, it’s just men
And I was banging my head against the wall
Coz we can’t communicate at all
And I’m screaming refrains out into the night
They look at me and wonder if I’m alright
Coz I’ve got you on my mind
But you weren’t so kind
And I vacated the premises
And you became a sort of nemesis
I chased in my dreams
And we’re walking on hollow beams
As we cross the room, under the ceiling
You said no and it send me reeling
Out into the dark
And the park
Never looked so lonely
And I was mourning for you only
As they dimmed the lights
Do we give up on our fights
As we storm the bastille
But how do you feel
When you lay your head down on a pillow
And I know I am weeping but it’s coz I’m a willow
It’s in my nature
And you left a crater
When you crashed to earth
I was grief stricken, more than hurt
Like I try to play even, I try to play calm
But you grabbed me by the arm
And wrote something there
I look in your eyes and I care
About our horizon
And you are something or so I’m surmising
As we drift apart
But still all heart
I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re well
But I love you still, let it go to hell
All my secrets spilled out on a screen
And you are the man I couldn’t even dream
You’re so perfect ensue
And what in the world do I mean to you
All the things we could do
Walk a mile in another’s shoe
Or sail a river down the stream
I know you’re the king but I am a queen
Of my own domain
Cry to the sky of making it rain
And plain
Are the words I speak to you
I want it back, if that’s okay, too
And you smile and my destiny dance
Do you think we could give love another chance
As it weaves between poles
Crafting the tapestry of our souls
Into a new stance
I felt the waves ocean advance
Into the shore
I can’t help but want you more

Stargazing

I’m tired of looking at you through a window
All it means is outside, could you let me in though
And the house we built has ivy growing
Up walls and ways, now it’s showing
And you’re inside
I’m in the garden and I hide
From your eyes
And years and years of futile tries
Do you abide in place with her
Deny everything that we never were
As I let you go
What’s water to do but flow
Along the riverbed
I remember everything that you said
And climb
Up to a place that’s beyond the mind
And safe
Like a locked box or a briefcase
And midnight filters through the trees
I’m high as a kite and have no need
For your number dear
You sent me under fear
To grow with the weeds amongst the grass
As if forever wouldn’t last
The whole night through
And all I was professing was you
In your healing balm
I smile and you ring the alarm
Say she’s crazy here
But I’m only crazy for you, dear
As I let it go
The love lost and don’t you know
Down to the shore
Is less the guess that’s speaking more
To the wind
And he grinned
From within his cage
I’m all butterflies to his rage
And flutter up a storm
It was the moment hope was born

Notes To Myself

A message from the past when the future gets bad
I left notes to myself and you know that I am glad
That the mountains they shake with the weight of the earth
And life grows up from the soil of the dirt
And we are all living and we are all breathing
There’s nothing but something we share in the needing
And the wind blows through the pipe with no beans
And I’m just kicking it in my blue jeans
Making songs for the summer and odes to the snow
There is no place I travel that I cannot go
But to interrupt a diamond mine
I’m throwing away what used to shine
To be rooted in ground like an anchor so deep
And I don’t need to shake what I take in my sleep
Coz the ocean is pure and it is profound
I thank my lucky stars that something drowned
In the midst of the terror that seemed to reside
In the shackles of me that I used to hide
But a new dawn breaks across the grass
And forever is timeless to ever last
As unspoken is wordless to the decree
And peace is all that we’ll ever be

Diagrams

I see diagrams unfold
When the splintered story’s told
And Heaven can’t hold itself back
As I give up on attack
Just to hold light to the touch
The fabric of a dress I love so much
And it’s spread like a sea over the land
And I know you understand
Me when I just inflect
And say, baby, my head is wrecked
Could you make it better with a simple smile
I admired you a long while
As we just slow and converse
I’m sorry if I’m weak and you’re a little terse
As I put it all in verse
The days of darkness getting worse
But he shone like the sun into a season
Loved me deep without needing a reason
And I can feel the wind blow my hair
With the freedom of he being there
And he says, my love, it’s nothing at all
And for once I’m not talking to a wall
But open arms and a heart to match
Like olden days with roof of thatch
As we just settle into a rhythm
He’s looking for an answer, does he know it is him
As he plays a Beatles tune
I’m glad that you were in the room
Even if I was all alone
And you hit me up on my iphone
And I regale you with my tales
Though your courage never fails
I can feel you deep and true
In your hands my lands are new
And I don’t know what we’ll be
Coz we’re lacking a history
But the present moment just resounds
And your full of quiet sounds
As you muse and contemplate
What might have me in this state
But the day is born with new light
And, honey, I am alright
I’ve spent years in this snow
And I know you want to know
But there’s no place I cannot go
I speak the words extra slow
So you know what I’ve been meaning
Everyone seems to be dreaming
And I awoke one sudden morn
It was as though I’d been reborn
And everything was as it is
And my heart and soul is His
The one who struck me from the sky
Now the impermanence can never die
As the changeful is consonant
And I don’t know what you want
Except to say I am okay
And you are my sunny day
In the overcast I know
It just took some time for the love to show

Love’s Everywhere

I need to write in Morse code
Coz to tell our story would be an ode
And we’ve got leaves of times gone by
And you always promised me sky high
As I take your hand and we lift and soar
Into a future I can’t see anymore
Coz you’re ancient, you’re beautiful, you are all the trees
And an Angel of Mercy picked me up off my knees
So I could stand as the wind goes round
It spirals but I’m solid ground
And I dunno about ages, I dunno about time
But somewhere you will always be mine
In a storybook or on a page
I seem to write like a sage
In professions of what’s true
The slipping sands of me and you
Coz we are born to fade away
A moment of sun before the day
Closes into night like a cyclical thing
And every bird knows how to sing
The silence like it’s true and real
I thought you should know how I feel
So I put it in a letter, left it at your door
But I won’t bother you anymore
And you know where I am if you feel to reply
I’m always in the same space to fly
On the beauty that I own
Love’s everywhere, I’m not alone

Life Makes Love

Life makes love
With the sky, with the sea
With the atoms that make up
The constellations of me
And the design
Is its own making
It counts ever hair
And each breath I’m taking
As I find a new way
To express the expanse
And it is as though
We’re all part of a dance
Living and moving
Breathing and being
Looking through lenses
And new ways of seeing
And if there ever
Comes a midnight
Know in your heart
That you’ll be alright
Coz you made it this far
Through forests and trees
Through brambles and flowers
That blow in the breeze
And somehow, somewhere
Someone’s watching over you
If you see it in cinema
Well you’re looking for two

Swallowed Up By The Silence


Swallowed up by the silence
I can feel the river rush
And in the warmth of the depth
I can feel infinity’s touch
And the waves they crash
And the storms come and go
The branch or the bough
The tree that you know
Will it hold the weight
Of all we’ve come to be
It takes a midnight
For the dawn to see
What it finally means
For the sun to cascade
I trust in the Lord
Coz it’s me that he save

Judgement

I blame the doctors for their prejudicial minds
And it’s my own pride I seem to find
As I stigmatize the fear of being unwell
With all the secrets I do not tell
As the brave stand up to say
There are days I’m not okay
And I find that I admire
The way he stokes my roaring fire
With his honesty and his sincere
And I’m always gonna hold him dear
Like a soul brother out there somewhere
But touch the cracks I do not dare
Coz they are all sealed with gold
And stories that have never been told
As I see the sunrise
It’s like the dawn of morning in your eyes
As you open a new day
I love you babe, I hope that’s okay

The Last Train

Loving you is like waiting on the last train
It’s like standing out in the pouring rain
I’m jealous of the drops of water that fall on your head
I’m jealous of the blankets that cover you in bed
And I’m always so well defined
And you’re always away but I don’t mind
And though the paper is written in ink
Of all of the things I shouldn’t think
But just sway to the breeze
And you stay only to leave
But I don’t mind welcoming you back
It’s not like you take something I lack
And everything is in boxes that they stack
And if you look I’ll pick up the slack
And rush to the shore
As you say you don’t want me anymore
And I just remember the festival
And the way I let it go to hell
Fighting to be my own dear self
I can’t share this with anyone else
And then I met you, you just turned to me
It’s like the waters parted and I could see
Like you held eternity
In a single glance, what are we?
And you smiled, just so, down into my eyes
It’s like you saw right through the disguise
And now it’s like I walk on one foot
And you said no like the sharpest cut
As I hold out strong in the weather
And I’m just dreaming of you in the heather
And how far you are away
The bridge is broken so we cannot stay
Like Sora and Kairi or the Marching Bands
The waves come to kiss the lands
But keep us at the distance we know
I hope you are well and that your clock runs slow
So that you have many years in reserve
And it’s always the greatest that you serve
While I watch and just observe
The moment you see that I’ve got nerve!


Photo by Balazs Busznyak on Unsplash.com

Sanity’s Glass

I love whiskey
In a Baileys glass
Do you like to drink?
Do you have to ask?
Because it makes me feel
More like myself
Every now and then
It’s good for my mental health
And I don’t get locked
But I do like to dance
Around in my pj’s
Like a second chance
Like there’s nobody watching
Coz nobody is
Unless you count the Lord
But I’m already his
And I smile at the sunshine
In the dark of night
Coz there’s something within me
That’s a lot like the light
They describe in tomes
And I shake it off
The rhythm of the alones
That sometimes subsides
But other times I believe
That heart is just something
I keep on my sleeve
And if nothing is everything
Why do you grieve
I walk the path
But where does it lead
Coz the road has been trodden
By many a soul
But can you still love
When the story’s been told?

Birds Eye View

I’m looking at you
From a birds eye view
And I gotta say
There is nothing new
Only the same old
Kind of magnificent
I’ve been a lot of things
I don’t know if it’s significant
That I make my own way to the shore
And you know I couldn’t love you more
Than the depth that sings our song
I don’t think we could ever be wrong

The Spark In Stephen’s Eyes

No one could deny 
The spark in Stephen’s eyes
As he talks to me he folds
Time into days of old
And he laughs, suddenly and unexpected
I hope he didn’t feel rejected
When I bowed out, when I skipped town
He has to know I love him around
And I just couldn’t fine the words to say
When I was in that place I had to stay
That his effervescence shone like stars
And you could trawl the neatest bars
Looking for a smile like that
I have to say I took off my hat
To your ardently and devoted
I open hearted and emoted
And you didn’t faze or fade away
You just let me know what it is to stay
In the light of your heavenly sun
And you may not be the one
But you’re the one who shared some time with me
I wrote this down so you might see

Isn’t That The Way

I hate the pain
Isn’t that what they say
But I couldn’t have had it
Any other way
And you kick your shoes
Up in the dirt
I never knew love
Could make you hurt
But I hold you fast
And pray that this moment last
But it was never enough
To quench my thirst
I’m a fire burning embers
As we argue across the genders
That seem to have accumulated between us
I dunno, do you think God dreamed us
Up into a sort of creation
It’s more than winter by the station
It is summer kissing booths
Reliving the passion of our youth
But I’m all but done with photo albums
I feel the pound of beating drums
Calling me back to your door
And I fainted on the floor
Yes, right out of my standing
To the dreams that they are handing
Out like they’re truth
And you just take aim and shoot
Your bullet at my heart
Your aim is good, I feel the dart
Strike me sharp and true
Am I marked with the brand of you
Or am I forever effervescent
Meeting you in essence
I let the fire go
But I still burn with it, you know


Photo by Freddy Kearney on Unsplash.com

Rising Water

The water rises
The fish it swims
And it seems like the sky’s
Getting closer to him
As he follows in circles
Patterns on the lake
There’s no talk of forgiveness
For the one he forsake
And there’s no talk of trouble
For idle thoughts
Does the fisherman tangle
With tackle he’s bought
And the shoes we’re all wearing
Do they know where they’re going
Coz the train of time
Doesn’t look like it’s slowing
And we’re all on this ride
Just in different seats
Do you fold your arms
Or uncross your feet
And do the sages speak truth
To the ears that you hear
Is nirvana further away
Or closer with fear
Coz we all resist
Our own enlightenment
It’s kind of like you’re a ghost
And you’ve frightened it
So now it won’t
Come out from where it hid
So you make some noise
Til it flips the lid
On the place it had found
To cover itself
But are you abandoning
All of your wealth
As you leave the world
Of thought that bind
Are you nostalgic for all
You’ve left behind
Or do you open your arms
To a new dawn
And realise that nothing
Is ever gone
That can’t be brought back
In another form
Is the sun hot?
Well, how are you warm?
And do you second guess
The wrath of the storm
One minute there’s pain
Then a baby born
Amid all the fray
And the stuff you see
If you blink your eyes
Is the darkness free
Or just momentary
To eclipse
Your names like a prayer
That sits on my lips
And if only I
Could communicate
It’s likely I’d pull
Both of us out of that state
Into the river
Where we’re rushing and free
You didn’t make a mistake
When you chose me


Photo by Silas Biasch on Unsplash.com

Camera Phones

We’re all muscle and bone
And I’m mad so leave me alone
Coz you don’t understand
And you don’t see what I have planned
And you’re lovely and angelic
And perfect prose
I see you stare
At me through the rows
Of people lined up in there
And I know you care
I can see it in your face
Your visage a mirage I can’t erase
In beautiful light
Wherever ya are I hope you’re alright
And you just kind of stood strong
And I think you liked me but I could be wrong
As you threw your arm around my shoulder
Are we wiser now that we’re older
Or just dull, grey and dumb
Replacing the vibrant of the young
Do you still burn
I could set my heart by your axis turn
And I live to learn
And you’re the one for which I yearn
In demons, dreams and spider webs
I wish I’d told the truth instead
Of hiding out among the fold
And your eyes they simply scold
As they try to figure me out
You’re so sure and I’m all doubt
As I falter another line
And you catch me the thousandth time
As I look you in the eye
It’s the kind of love that could never die
And that time you were drunk and you just stopped
When I said hi coz I think you’re hot
But I wouldn’t risk that when you’re sober
You lit up a dark October
With your sleight of hand
And that time you liked the band
You dreamboat, you
I really don’t know what to do
With the part of my heart you’ve carved into
Like I’m tree bark and you’re writing it true
In ink I’m maybe meant to see
You were so damn good to me
And I wonder where you are right now
I let my walls down, I’ll allow
You to know me real
I meant it when I let you feel
The closeness of my soul to yours
And there’s something that my heart adores
In your heavenly glow
I could see myself with you, you know

Days With Darragh

There were days with Darragh
When my point of view was decidedly narrow
He saw me like a girl, I saw him like a friend
It has been years though and it doesn’t end
As I still reflect on his heartbeat
When we danced with both our feet
And shine with all our might
I can’t ignore your candlelight
And your fire that just burn
It’s more than degrees we earn
As we spend time into each other’s company
And I’m always thinking, what does he want of me
But he just smiles and looks in my eyes
I let go camouflage I keep to disguise
The darkness in the heart of my soul
But he just surfs the waves that I roll
And then laughs when he sees my car
Buys me a drink at the bar
And makes me smile, makes me laugh
And he does it all without me needing to ask
And I wonder does his fire sign match mine
As we dance to the rhythm of the rhyme
And he’s red as a burning flame
I’m surprised he even remembers my name
But his is etched upon my skin
I loved him so I let him in
Let him see the hesitate
And he just pulls me out of that state
And never ever makes me wait
But breaks apart into something new
I don’t know if you know who you are, do you?


Photo by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash.com

Staring At The Stars

Does eternity gaze at you 
When you’re staring at the stars
And do you think you could see their lights
Through your prison bars
Coz we’re all in the gutter
But some of us are looking up
Is it just a mirage
To say that I’m in love
Coz the guy don’t even know me
Or so it would seem
And he’s looking for a girlfriend
Not for a sky high queen
And I can’t figure out what it may mean
My friend says it’s an expression of what I dare to dream
And he’s taken by another so I’ve got to let it go
I say I’m not cold, though I’m standing in the snow
And he was like a stranger that day on the phone
I’d never felt so embarrassed or left all alone
As I told him that I loved him, that I held him dear
And he made the situation all too crystal clear
And I’m just clutching at straws
Because the ice never thaws
I’m just frosting up the glass
And he was just lounging on the grass
As I waited and I wondered
And slightly ran away
Out of fear of what I felt
And of what I might say
Because it’s too good to be true
This couldn’t be real
That I get all I want
And spare cards to deal
And it’s so obvious
He’s what I’m looking for
As I stand outside
Just staring at his door
And there’s light and there’s warmth
But it’s all inside
I’m shivering and I’m shaking
From the window where I hide
Do I finally let this go
Or knock and be seen
I wouldn’t mind the weather
Coz it is just a dream
And there are passers by
Telling me, go home
I didn’t dare to mention
That it’s inside an iPhone
And I dig my hands down deeper
Into the pockets of my coat
I’m taking this too far
And what is worse I know it
So I take one last look
As I head for the trees
To live a life of freedom
Instead of living on my knees
But as I go I hear a shout
That he can’t do without
I turn and I glare
And he’s just standing there
In a dressing gown and slippers
Looking oh so calm
But I can’t run back
To another false alarm
And anyway he’s got company
And I won’t lead astray
Go back to what you made
It’ll be the break of day
And we’re miles apart
In the feet that we span
And I’ll always love you
Though I don’t know if you can
Love me just to leave me
So let me go this time
I would if I could, he says
But you’d still be mine
And I glower and I pout
Though it does me no good
He frowns in return
As I turn back for the wood
Because I can’t do this
Anymore, my love
I don’t have a reason
So look to God above
And you’ll find your answers
It’s everything they say
Maybe I am strong
To leave this and away
But he pulls me with force
The mere magnet strength
And I look for my courage
Coz I don’t know where it went
As I’m grappling with stones
Trying to get a hold
And all of this flipping the switch
Is getting old
And anyway, who is she
And how can I say
That I can’t find adequate
Means to stay away
And she’s silent and staring
Just looking at me
Trying to fight
With his gravity
In the den of the house
That used to be mine
But he threw me out
When I took the time
To really study
And explore
The nature of
A solid floor
So I relent, give in
And feel myself swayed
It’s not for loneliness
That this is okayed
And they both turn around
Leave the door open
A little glance back
But I amn’t coping
And freezing I rise
Up to my feet
As I step on the mat
It’s neighbors they greet
And I see the old furniture
I used to know
Step into the light
And let the pain go
Give up on the solitary
Lone expanse
Though it’s been years
Since we thought to dance
And I see there’s a room
At the end of the hall
With a door open
He says it’s yours and all
And I finally know
Come to realise
That they’re living in what
I built for their lives
And all this time
We’re waiting to see
The masterpiece
Foretold by me
In the din, in the quiet
In the subside
I lay down to rest
And close my eyes
To finally know
A slumber that’s real
He didn’t leave me
He just let me feel
All of his peace
So that I could deal
With the moment as
It’s resting long
And my God
I belong!
And she doesn’t hate me
Coz it is cool
I think I may have
Dreamt this in school
So I rub my eyes
Shake myself out
Get rid of the fear
Lose all the doubt
Find the heart
That heats my soul
All is Love
That’s the story I’m told



Photo by Taneli Lahtinen on Unsplash.com

Candyfloss Dreams

Craving that sugar rush
And you were my favorite crush
And you smile and I see stars
Running and I’m chasing cars
Down the street like a dog and its tail
You know that you’re bound to fail
When you set yourself up like that
And I know I want you back
But you use a poké attack
And I’m left standing on my own
After I left my colours shown
Wondering why with so little a endeavor
At civility, I could never
Understand just why and when
And I’m always hoping to see you again
But I just don’t get men
Coz you shout then you wish I was there
I ask for your love and you say you don’t care
And you’re harsh and unpleasant and drive me away
Did you mean to sabotage my stay?
Or were you just anticipating the leave
I watch you silent and I believe
That there’s more to you
But I just don’t know what to do
As I let your hand go to your side
And I’m okay but I think you have cried
Will you remember this for me
I loved you so I set you free

Fangirling The Music

I see him in my minds eye
Talking to me and I almost cry
Because he’s been my hero since I was fourteen
Walking the cobblestones of almost been
And I’m moody and sad and no one understands
But I’ve found one of the coolest bands
With my music player and my hoodie
I am my own bestest buddy
As I walk up the land in the cold and the dusk
And there’s something in this sound that I can trust
And everything is loss, it’s all taken away
And I’m older at the close of day
As I see through the apparent facade
That it’s all pulled away isn’t bad
But you won’t know it yet, my dearest child
It’s only the beginning of a life in the wild
But you’re hollow and lonely and you kick your shoes
In the dirt like the dust rising gives you the blues
But the depth turns to awesome
The darkness to sky
And in the night
You don’t have to lie
Only find what’s there to be discovered
It’s almost like his music finally uncovers
The expanse of freedom that’s there to find
Don’t worry over what isn’t so kind
You’ll find your worth in more than she say
There’s a sunrise to mark the break of day
Only it’s eternal and never fades
It’s bright as the sun but you don’t need shades
In the white light of pure consciousness
I found freedom and I confess
I owe the steady hand to Snow Patrol
They kind of dove deep into my soul
And if I’m ever a success I’m gonna find that guy
Write him a letter to try
To elucidate something real
You open the door on what it is to feel
And mountains and valleys are nothing to you
I bet if time stopped you’d just walk through
To where you’ve always been
If life is Love then you’re the Unseen

Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash.com

Let’s Not Repeat The Past

Violence seems to have been endemic 
As one fights the other for what they have
And there’s oceans of pain
Touching the land
Let’s not repeat the past
Where brother fights brother
There’s no “civil” war
It’s always hurting another
And there are parts of the world
Where they cannot eat
Why don’t we provide
Instead of pound our feet
On pavements grey
As blank as our souls
How could we leave sisters and others
To the cold
Coz we have the capacity
The ingenuity
To grow out of
What we’re told to be
As I stare at my phone
To find an answer
But they said it better
Human as dancer
And we’ve all got spirit
We’ve all got heart
And there are people
Who can’t stand to be apart
And others who know
In the depths of their being
That this story we live
Is just something we’re seeing
And we can grow tall
But when we wake up
We see that it was
All held in love
And dynamic as breathing
Is the answer to all that we’re needing
And I’m from a nation
That’s been beaten and bruised
Slaves for another
Is how we were used
As we till our land
Then hand over
The bread that we need
That’s some four leafed clover
And there’s defiance and pride
There’s anger and rebel
But fighting the evil
Only sends you to hell
As we can attest
After all the years
Centuries
Of crying tears
And growing up
Found me strong
But I was always too prone
To point out the wrong
And it found me in a room
With my head in my hands
Attesting to
All those slipping sands
But adversity made me
And now I can stand
And say that under the storm
There’s land
That will hold steady
Under your feet
And they grow the crop
But they can’t eat
As we use and usurp
The imbalance we own
There’s no hiding it
It’s commonly known
So how do we change
What seems so entrenched
Do you ever run out
In rain and get drenched
To you ever just feel
The wind on your skin
Can you let go
Can you let it begin?
As the motion of movement
The breath of change
Gathers all the atoms
And will rearrange
If we’re just willing
To be the avenue
The vehicle
That was given to you
Where is your heart
Your purpose right here
What do you love
What do you hold dear
Can you be total
In what you do
Or is life just a drag
That is pulling on you
Lowly and heavy
In deadening sound
After years in the snow
Did we finally hit ground
And can we make
Our castles on rock
Or maybe create
Something that’s not
Ever been heard of
Or ever been seen
What’s your personal legend
What is your dream
Can we reverse
The damage we’ve made
As a child I was
Always safe in the shade
But there are people who labour
In the hot sun
Others that live
And die by the gun
There’s got to be other ways
Than what we’ve created
I see life as abundant
Though it’s already been stated
That we’re transforming
Into a new species
Graciousness
Replacing facetious
Can we be aware
Of the fire in our soul
The substratum
That is effortlessly whole
As we beat our own hearts
As one people united
I let go of the war
Coz I cannot fight it
I let go of the hatred
Coz it is defeated
And I found Truth
Though I cannot speak it
It just announces itself
In silent tones
And I found teachers
On iPhones
From one trouble
To a Saviour
Do you think you could
Love your neighbour
As yourself
Is it underway
I think I see light
At the break of day



Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.com

Forever And A Day

I’d wait for you forever
Forever and a day
Love you unconditional
Baby, come what may
And I know you’ve got your attitude
I know you’ve got your pride
And I have a tendency
To run away and hide
But I can see us in the morning
When the sun kisses the sky
Among the waves of clouds
And wondering the reason why
And I know you’ve got your love
I know you’ve got your heart
It’s just I don’t think that we
Should ever be apart
But shine like a diamond
In a twofold connect
I don’t think the earth
Has seen the best of us yet
Coz I am full of fire
And red vibrancy
You’re as blue as the ocean
And as deep as love can be
And together we make something
That could only free
I tried to push the point
Coz I don’t think that you see
And you call me revolutionary
A laid back rebel soul
I call you like the chasm
That is the waves to roll
And everything is scorching
But it’s also pretty cool
I see you like the summer
We met after school
Just laughing on the bus
As we made our way back
I didn’t give you a reason
For you to hide what you lack
Coz everything is seen
In this closeness that we wear
We’re tangled up like Spiderman
In the cobwebs of my hair
And it’s just a dream I’m having
Or it’s on the astral plane
But you come to call
Over and over again
And I can’t keep you out
From the warmth in my heart
I don’t know why I’d want to
But I think we’re gonna start
To make something as real
And as beautiful as true
I didn’t tell you at the time
But I’m madly in love with you

The Thunder and the Silence

The thunder rolls and the ground trembles
It’s all of me that it disassembles
As I’m unmade a storm
And the heat of your beat keeps my heart warm
And the stars come out to light your night
I wipe my tears coz I’m alright
But I’m missing you now days are long
And I cry but I’m still strong
Coz I don’t show how I let it hit
I keep it in coz I’m good at it
And it’s only in my room that I break down
Let it out and go to town
And there’s an ocean all around
If you listen carefully you can hear the sound
Of the tide against the rocks
I wake up and it stops
And suddenly in a moment I’m free
And there seems to be some kind of light shining from me
As vibrantly I intone
Whether with someone or all alone
So I praise my Saviour
You know you were the one who raised her
Up from the mess she lay
You show me love and I’m okay
And it’s all I can do not to shout your name
Now that I know you it’s not the same
And I just radiate the glow
That you gave to me, you know
And it’s as true as the Sun
As bright as you are the One
And I kneel coz I’m young
And the down days are done
In one fell swoop you reside
I’m coming out of the darkness in which I hide
And let the light permeate
If it’s the Now, why wait?



Photo by Matti Johnson on Unsplash.com

The Forest and the Memory

Am I just gonna have to let you go
Coz there doesn’t seem to be any way to know
That you are here and you are there
And you know I’ll always care
As the forest closes in on the memory of us
And I dunno where to place my trust
As the ages all fold one into the other
You’re my soulmate, yeah you’re my brother
And I really hope that you’re well
But there doesn’t seem to be any way to tell
Except just to live in the light
And pray to God that you’re alright

The Social Anxiety

The feeling of panic when I’m talking to people
I’m much more at home under a steeple
Praying to God for all that could be
But I’m so far from normal and I think they can see
And is it just ego to say I’m afraid
That I spend the whole day in the shade
Just to avoid what I’m speaking of
I refract diamonds and call it love
And do I just make small what’s colossal inside
Run away from eyes and hide
Until someone finds me behind the curtain
I’m sorry for weakness and all the hurting
I’m sorry for being unusually proud
Defiant and brave as I say it out loud
That it’s okay and I see you too
I want everyone to know it so that they see through
The veneer of strong that I put off
We are one people and all is not lost
And everyone’s got something that they keep secret
But I’m gonna tell it instead of keep it
Like a story that’s been too long in the dark
A tree whose leaves are as bright as its bark
Even in the winter snow
I love a lot so I let it all go


Photo by Bernardo Artus on Unsplash.com

Abidance

I feel like I’m out of the loop
Now that I’m no longer sitting on the stoop
Like a lonesome bird
And what are the words that you think you have heard
Coz it all spiraled out of my control
When I tried to capture your soul
And you rebelled with a defiant stance
How dare I ask you to dance
But there was just this music, you mustn’t hear it
It’s beautiful and it crystal clears it
As the vision is foggy in the car
I still have no sense of what you are
Coz you defy definition in your design
And you are good looking, if you don’t mind
And I just want to write a tome to your earth
The reality that could never hurt
As you assuage
And I get really mad
But it’s no good
You still leave like I thought you would
But what I don’t understand
Is how any of this could’ve been preplanned
Or destiny
I watch you like you’re there for me
Though you move to the side
I stay on my own and abide

Syllables

She writes music that catches in your soul
As if all the waves have to do is roll
And midnight comes before each dawn
So don’t lament what’s gone
Because it will come around again anew
You can’t miss what is destined for you
And I hope that’s true coz he’s all I see
What if he was never meant for me
I wonder and I pause and I flip through the prose
What if he is the one that fate chose
To hold my hand and be the One
I see him like he’s the Son
Of God in garden grass
And I wonder if all I had to do was ask
Would you maybe wanna be my guy
I know I’m quiet and I didn’t try
But do you think you could take a look
And read me like your favorite book
And it’s fine if you don’t know my name
I’m gonna love you all the same
And wish you the wealth of wisdom and heart
I never thought we’d be so long apart

Questions For God

I trudged through the snow
I am miserable or don’t you know
No reply
Why on earth does everyone die
My feet crunch the ground
I savor the essence of unreciprocated sound
I mumble aloud
And relish the silence away from the crowd
And grumble two tone
Why do you always leave me alone?
It’s always like this
Together for a moment and then you just miss
All the ways you felt complete
The gravel groans beneath my feet
As I haul the bin up the hill
If only love was an effort of will
I could turn this around
But emptiness is the only sound
And I cherish the day
He looked in my eye and then looked away
It’s in a video reel
And for years anger is all that I feel
How dare you take him away
There’s no point reaffirming that he cannot stay
But the eyes are all empty as I look for a reason
A kind of vacancy that is all out of season
Perhaps my misery
Will prove how much he meant to me
But the anguish just twists
And I merely coexist
With the essence of death
Counting each in and out of my breath
Or heartbeat
It’s iambic pentameter against my feet
Anyway
I don’t believe in what they say
They’re all crying
And then proclaim Heaven is for the dying

Flashback, it’s been twenty years
So I question my thoughts and dry my tears
To the age of youth
And the darkness of day the sun didn’t suit
But I found him there, among the ashes and the rubble
He looked at me and burst my little bubble
And I give thanks to what once I hate
The God of Love to make me irate
By stealing all I could call my own
I’m lying in bed and praying for home
But it never comes
Oh, the trauma of being young
I’m undone
And somehow I feel this song has been sung
By someone
Years before I begun
It’s getting old
Like the body I hold
And the days are all long
Then suddenly short
And all of the principles that I exhort
Prove to be vain
And I stand outside in the pouring rain
To catch the air
Do you believe in the power of prayer
To let go into
Can I be
Something more
Than destiny
Because this body I wear
Is all athletic and long brown hair
Do you resonate
With what is only a temporary state
We’re all on the move
From the moment of spark to the point that I prove
What have you got to lose
Only the worldview you live to excuse
What don’t you settle here
Under a tree as it breathes you clear

I snap out of it
Is to give in the same as to quit
And I’m going with it
A sort of defiance I never admit
But the beer bottle’s empty and I’m reaching for wine
I am the queen of a helluva time
But really it’s empty coz I cannot decide
Which stop is my own if this life is a ride
I breathe in the air
And think of the way he suddenly stare
A moment out of time
Like immortal just stepped out of line
And my gumption and war
I don’t know what this is for
As I twirl his name
On my fingernails like it’s just the same
As yesterday
He pierced the veil then went away
And I love him so
But goodbyes around every corner, you know
And I wish and hope
He’s found someone real, something cool, something dope
But anyway
Returning to that which I cannot say
It hit me like light
And set a fire to ignite
And I’m all the trees
The wood of could you ever believes
And I see his face
A recognition no time could erase
To be angry at God
Give him back to me again, oh Lord
But it doesn’t work that way
Apparently and what I say
Falls on deaf ears
And is it just temper to coax the tears
Until I can’t stop them and they pour as rain
I’m awake in the night all over again
To be left behind
Is to spend some time trapped in your mind

But He woke me up
And He called that love
Though I can’t express
What I’m thinking of
Caught in a decider
So perfectly fate
And the present moment
Means you don’t wait
But I’m always counting time
On the watch, on the clock that isn’t mine
Do you think it could be
That we all live eternally
In some dimension
In a realm of time that by extension
Means we don’t have to suffer
And I’m always thinking of her
And what I’ve lost
I sob til the tears exhaust
My futile will
It’s everything that must fill
The pail of water to the brim
I remember when it was the two of them
Under the sun
By the gate
They wouldn’t approve
Of me in this state
But how am I
To know the reason that they die
If I don’t weep
It’s kind of like some bargain I keep
But it’s letting me go
The pain and the suffering you know
And pay testament to
The Heavenly I found in you
And remember quiet
That I don’t have to try to defy it
Only surrender
Maybe love is what I engender

The Tough Girl Image

I keep it all on lock
But I can never be what I am not
I click my tongue
I’m impervious and I am young
Til the facade cracks
And I’m all lost in I can’t have you backs
As the days age
And I spill ink upon a page
Or burn a little sage
Oh, to demonstrate what I feel is true
Lost in a dream of me and you
Or us and them
I run the film clip all over again
When I stride through halls
Now I renovate and knock down walls
Do you love me true
Coz I found myself with all of you
And I can let the refrain
Cancel out the years of pain
Why do I hold on
To what is already gone
And deny what’s here
The water in the lake is crystal clear
As it reflects the sky
Why in the world must everything die
Only to be reborn
I was the earth outside of the storm
The solid ground
As the wind twists the air into sound
It reverberates
Like a glacier that equates
Ice with movement, don’t you know
But there are places it can’t go
As it meets the sea
I’m more than what appears of me


Photo by Pietra Schwarzler on Unsplash.com

He’s Highway 69

He could see through me
Read me like a book
Always coming back
To a second look
And he’s cool as a breeze
The wayfaring stranger
The essence of omnipotence
And absence of danger
And he smiles and he laughs
And he holds my hand
I turned round to say
Shur, amn’t I grand
As the twinkle in his eyes
Does a merry dance
What I wouldn’t do
For another chance
At your magnificent glory
You’re ten stories high
And I think I’m gonna love you
Til the day that I die
As you move through the waves
Like you were born on a beach
I have stuff to say
But you’re just out of reach
But meet me right there
And just so with your beauty
He’s highway 69
And just the kind to suit me

Loving Kindness

Sending loving kindness to every being
It is a whole new way of seeing
As darkness threatens to consume
I find a way out of the room
And into the light of the only Son
He whispers that I am the one
To find peace inside myself
There’s a depth within, abundant wealth
And when you cry you’re not alone
You never have to carry it on your own
Coz He is there right by your side
Each step you walk while you’re alive
To hold you in open arms each day
He paved the path so walk His way
And hear the sound of peace abound
He picked me up from the ground
So I could stand tall and be
One with everything I see
In oceans and in forests green
Love is all that’s ever been

The Wise Squirrel

Thank you for tormenting me
The wise squirrel bites my tail
If I don’t live the Truth
Then I’m destined to fail
And I feel this power deep
Deep inside my soul
It’s vaster than the ocean
And the waves that roll
And it’s pulling me like a current
As I’m lost in the tide
I want to scream out loud
Live your life alive

And it feels like bricks and mortar
Like stone upon a stone
But something is drawing me
Out of where I’ve made my home
Like the boat to set sail
On a vast expanse
Did you ever watch the sun
On the water as it dance
And did you ever see a silhouette
Framed by the sky
Did you ever find the long
Grass and just lie
Underneath the clouds
As you’re breathing air
You can thank the trees for that
There’s one over there

And I feel the longing pull me
Through a needle eye
I’m not afraid to love
This life before I die
And everything’s a tumbleweed
Blowing through this desert town
But the sky will open up
And the rain will pour down
To replenish the soil
To give water to the earth
To set the plants a growing
And quench her lonely thirst

And if you ever want to thank
Someone, start with soul
I may be in this body but I’m not getting old
Or counting on tomorrow to be the one to quiet the din
If you want to find the answer you must go within
And sit down by the sill of the window of your life
Know that you are born to be the shining light
And to answer the call that beckons you forth
I can see the sun set when I’m sitting on the porch
Or morning over hills when I’ve been up all night
Contemplating things that the heart ignites
And it’s celestial, these bodies in the sky
If you knew you had wings would you be afraid to fly
Afraid to open out and trust the wind beneath your feathers
Soar above the noise and the field the flower weathers


Photo Credit: Shane Young on Unsplash.com

Passing Through

We’re only passing through

We’re a whisper on a page

We are the bodies that we grow

And then again to age

We’re the midnight in the summer

When the moon is shining high

We’re the truth between the lines

On the paper where we lie

We’re the justice and the mercy

The all bequeathing love

We’re the hand that writes the heavens

In stars far above

We’re the darkness and the light

The fire we ignite

But among the chaos

I know we will be alright

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

The Winter

The winter, it weathers

The brush and the grass

And I wonder about

That which will ever last

And you could call it God

You could call it Christ

It transcends death

It is Eternal Life

It goes beyond time

It goes beyond space

It is the Peace

That will never cease

It is the Love

To always abide

It is the Freedom

You don’t have to hide

Don’t have to cover

With shields and holds

It is the Wisdom

Inside our souls

It is the breath

It is the breathing

It is with me

And it isn’t leaving

Photo by Katarzyna Kos on Unsplash

Fallen Trees

Lost to the ravages of time
Was the golden that used to be mine
That holy light
I’d touch the air and ignite
Now, no more
Every knock upon a closed door
But like she said
When different demons were in my head
Sometimes the way
Is made so you can’t even say
Yes to this or no to that
All you know is you can’t go back
In your dusty boots
Stumbling the rest of the route
Any water, please?
No, my dear, learn how to grieve
In the arid sun
I guess there’s still a Golden One

Image Credit: Huff Post, Becoming a desert girl

The Christ

https://open.spotify.com/track/5i2JGF65pHKSfMEjSMrBC3?si=5zbZax1WRja5ZgId1BxKEw

My Lord and Saviour
The light Supreme
The cracking sound
That wakes the dream
And I have laboured
In darkness too
In shadows and
Miles away from you
But you always come
And take my hand
Tell me softly
You understand
That life is trials
Adversity
But when you look
There will I be
And I went to the city
Hungry with life
Ambitions were
Just out of sight
And I reached my hand
But I never could
Catch hold of something
I call good
Til I’m back on my knees
Pleading to the sky
I saw beautiful
Shine from his eye
I saw commonplace
I saw unique
Felt silence that
No sound could speak
And my devotion is the answer
The steady beating tide
The heart inside my soul
That keeps the love alive
And I didn’t find Jesus in the pews
Or in all of my good deeds
I found him in the rain
And it’s all I’ll ever need

Matter and Form

I move with the sea
In tides I roll
Everybody compresses
Their immortal soul
Down into matter
Down into form
Down into just
Keeping the bed warm
And I don’t have the answer
Don’t know the explain
Why the wind comes in sheets
And the air blows in rain
But I know this much
Though I don’t as much say
That life comes in waves
To keep things at bay

Image Credit: Elentori on DeviantArt

Dust

Kissing dust at the edge of the sky
The feeling of wanting to both live and die
As I come apart slowly in your hands
Salty water where sea meets the sands
And there are no firestorms here
Only candlelight and your breath in the mirror
To quench the fog I’ve held for so long
To bring me back to where I belong
Resting as always by your side
Within is without and I am alive
Now that I know what I’ve kept at bay
The something inside that’s not going away

Image Source: https://pin.it/elju6ednwy7wob

Kingdom Hearts

You’re full of love for the things you create
But I’m a place you can’t dominate
Though you may be king of the dormant domain
There are lands over which you don’t reign
And there is a motion that sits in the river
I will not make up for what you can’t give her
Struggle in the tide of a crocodile spin
When you cry tears there’s no way you can win
As I incline my head to that which you know
Don’t blame me for the feet you walk as you go
My hands are off the wheel of your car
But I’m still aware of who you are

Don’t bother faking the remorse
I’m sure time will have it run its course
And you don’t need to half ass what you feel you should say
I don’t believe you anyway
I’m sure you’ll buy her a real nice ring
And make the song hit the notes and everything
But you’ll never have me sign the sheet
To annul your previous fall and defeat
At the hands of a lesser God
I’ll watch you leave without a word
But don’t you dare look back
Its a permission that I lack

You’ve got loads of criteria for me to attain
But you can’t laugh at the sun and expect it to rain
As if I would give you all of my shine
So you could have a sword and take what is mine
Just another trophy to sit on your shelf
Add to the list to which she is as well
Narrow my eyes in suspicious slits
I guess I always expected no better than this
And if one and only has nothing to declare
Then you would have always been there
Instead of passing the parcel to other hands
Then claim you were true to your ancestors lands

Don’t make me laugh at your attempts
To sidle away and throw deference
I may be small but I’m fast as the wind
And I’m not merely an attenuation of him
To play the kind part of forgiving queen
Who holds in her heart the way it has been
And finds a way to live to pretend
If she just holds it in then it will come to an end
But no corseted lady am I
And there are things for which I would die
Rather than stage wise just lose breath
Over the things I cannot forget

I will not hold what is not for my soul
And if it’s by decision then was that all?
For will cannot paint what is by design
And what comes back will always be mine
And somehow I fear that there lies a string
Connecting me to everything
I feel the tug and then the pull
And life with you would never be dull
But I have a wryness in my smile’s edge
And it can’t help but turn up at the things that you said
As I, to my own supreme shame
Find myself redeemed by saying your name

As you with your talk and your wheedling charm
Find no shortage of girls to rub against your arm
And console and commit to the rogue in you
It’s just so enticing, the hole they fall into
As I watch from the cliff with my chin in my hands
Surveying the lay of the land as it stands
It’s so comical if it didn’t hurt
And when I tickle the humour it only gets worse
As I admit grudgingly that I admire
The divine devotion that you inspire
Least of all in one like me
How did this finger trap come to be?

But the authority returns from whence it came
And I’ll always be in the space I remain
Never moving, never knowing what lies beyond
The passage of time that is already gone
As I tip my hat to the extreme
And the pain without which I would not have seen
That all is illusion except what is real
And there is a peace even you cannot steal
Closing my eyes to the forest of trees
That is a life of you without me
In a place where existence is the only repose
I already am the thing that I chose

Scealta na Laochra

I dreamt the other night you sang to me in Irish because that is our native tongue
And the words were tripping out of your lips with every line you sung
And you were seated in a chair with that smig you used to have
And I thought when I looked at you I’d never wanted anything so bad
But it was only a Snapchat video on a Facebook screen
And when I checked the app account you had added me
Though God knows how you knew my name, some things are a mystery
And the light shone golden on your face, in a kitchen making history
As I revelled in repeat as social media is wont to do
It gave me access to another secret part of you
How lifelike and how real, how stolen from the sky
But I woke up in my room with only the memory of your eyes
As my mother called to me about what I need to do
I wish I could fall back asleep so I could be there with you
And even virtual reality inside an imagination
Is better than the reality of our silent situation
As we face off across the world with miles in between
I keep my feelings a secret and you don’t acknowledge me
But throw paper planes into the air to see where they will land
I always thought it would be you to revolutionise a band
And fling the hysterical out into the crowd
As they all scream for you while I read aloud
The stories on the edge of what you have longed to speak
Set to an electric guitar and a motherfucking beat
But now you wear a suit or casual sweater vests
While I pile on eyelinered black and live out what you suggest
But does that make me love you less or change the way I feel
I used to be self contained before you chose to steal
My ability to decide where my love resides
And I cannot control my heart as long as you’re alive
And I don’t see you ending anytime soon
As long as I have blood to pump I will belong to you
In your incandescent glory and innocent obliviousness
I’ll swear an oath of
fealty with the moon as my witness
In the darkness of tomorrow that’s living in tonight
Is aoibheann liom do gra, my love, I hope that is alright
Ta tu go hiontach, I bhfírinne, an bhfuil se ceart go leor
Más mian tú Dia fein, I couldn’t love you more
Even though you deleterious out all over me
Tús maith leath na hoibre, seo mar a bhí.

Moody Blues

I have the FOMOODs, I can’t tell you what that means
Only that it is full of all my could have beens
That I spied on my head when I lay directly under
Stars of your making, just behind the thunder
In a field full of grass because I’m not afraid of rain
I got to see the sky held beneath the pain
And the smile that cracks the sunlight in your eyes
I was there to see the truth so don’t tell me that it’s lies
Because you can’t explain your way out of an escape
And I could be your hero, with or without the cape
Though I do not claim to fly or burn bullets with my vision
I can see right through you and do so with precision
As you surreptitiously suppose things that may come to be
You may not know it yet but you’re still looking for me
In all of the crevices and clothes that you pile under
You can’t run away now that I have your number
To ring up and to dial like I am death himself
We’re only counting days until we see there’s something else
So whatever you may find I know that it will ring
The bells of a tomorrow when you give me everything
And sacrifice your soul on the alter of this love
All I want is you and what you pointed out above
So, letters to the incomplete that never get returned
What do you do with them, after reading are they burned?
For what could you want with the musing of a child
Unless I was right and you’re not just in my mind
But real and exist beyond the combings of the ether
You got me alone so it gave me a breather
To know what it was like against my worser will
To stand by your side, fearfully still
Afraid to even move to disturb the interruption
Of the volcano that you are in the midst of my corruption
Of the wild flowers in fields, so delicately strong
They outlast the others that are long since gone
In all my misery and in all your fevered might
I think you held my heart and I let you see the light
That pulses to a beat that I cannot contain
Though it just gets louder when I feel that you’re in pain
Til crumbling and falling like a building to the ground
I pray for a silence to overtake the sound
But just like you, I cannot unhear
The power of the presence that I felt draw near
When we wore matching soles to skip across the dust
I used to believe in God, now you’re where I place my trust
And I know that in time you will give in to see
What has always been, before you, finally

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Purchase Order

That was never what I wanted anyway
A purchase order to make you stay
A sacrifice to buy me time
On your arm or in your mind
And now comes the chorus of regular love
That pales in comparison to all of the above
That doesn’t make me sign away
A life inside the music box you play
But it is pale blue and pastel
Where you took it all and me as well
Into a chasm or ocean deep
Full of the secrets that we keep
Even now, so many miles from here
There’s a boundary line and we keep clear
From the rushing silver of an oncoming train
And the pounding pictures in our brain
That regurgitate long worn down facts
About loving someone who doesn’t love you back
That fit us both just at different times
And when I wanted you you weren’t mine
But bulletproof and cascading
The storm you’ve spent your life evading
As I see the corner of your eye
That doesn’t want to speak but dares me to try
Against your insolent up in arms
We both took walks in the surrounding farms
Down the alleyways of country lanes
Feeling out of place with peculiar pains
That tell me, tell me something’s missing
That its your face I should be kissing
The man I love, the only one
I was there when the world begun
With your hand slotted right into the ridge
Of my knuckle bones, that’s the way it is
From now until forever ends
Our destiny clashes where the line bends
And with collision force of love crossed stars
To lose it all when I lose my heart
Because now I’m sworn to another
Well I was all along and you’re still my brother
As we simile at the infraction
You gain ground to keep traction
As landslide goes your house and home
I know that you are all alone
Though the fire’s warm and crackles the hearth
No one answers when you call the dark
But hang up when you lift the phone
I know the feeling though it isn’t shown
So smile in that photograph you take
I’ll be here when you wake

Small Wonder

There are some things you cannot deny
Like a love that will never die
Like honesty and what is right within
You cracked my exoskeleton
Thin into a little strands
That broke apart into your hands
And smiling as you realised
You held it all in the tears you cried
That could never be wrong or crossing the line
I think you and I will be just fine
As we make a bloodless, solemn pact
That we will always come back
To this place we share and each other
I love you, darling, my soul brother
As we’re held together by more than thread
You show your fragility instead
Of the angry exterior wall
Of strength and impressions fall
As I realise that you are him
I’ll never have to look again

Front to Bottom

I didn’t want to admit you were right about me
Cause it hurt too much that you had seen the truth
And you were willing to give me all of you
In recompense for what had happened to me
And I said no
I can do it alone
I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone
I’m just fine
And it was sort of true but a lie at the time
Cause when you matched puzzle pieces right to the marks I had made on my skin
I said no, I don’t want to let you in
And when you said “I would do just about anything for you”,
I turned you away because I knew you would
And I would lose you some day one way or another
Through my fault or your own or death taking us under
And I couldn’t let it in
No, I couldn’t let it in
Cause a world without you does not exist
And I want to do more than merely subsist
And now you don’t love me cause I threw it away
Well you sorta do, in the back of your mind kind of way
Cause you love everyone, even though you hate them passionately
You just wanna grow into all you’re meant to be
And I know you will
Well you already have
Why does it feel so bad?

Soft Eyes and Open Heart

Am I really this invisible to you
I am red like fire but you are a dark blue
And I really wish you were the one that got away
But you gave birth to a love that was made to stay
And I know that you’re obsessed with everything female
And you loved the feeling of losing your chainmail
But just cause you aggregate the sum total of causes
Doesn’t give you accuracy in deciphering pauses
You point out my shallows where you are deep
Sometimes the silence holds more than I know how to speak
And if you judge a fish by its tree climbing strength
Then you’ll never be aware of where the genius went
As you relegate yourself in my eyes
To an outside chance who hop scotches in lies
But the main conclusion that you assume
Doesn’t even come close to what I felt in that room
And you throw aggrandisements like silky spider thread
And it kills me to think of who you take to bed
I know that’s intrusive and I’m not a perfect saint
But I fill in the blanks of the picture you paint
To be so possessive and controlling of my heart
I never thought I’d be the one to make a mark
Or a fine hit, I will assassinate
But I already met you and now it is too late
To be crashed and burned at the hamstrings of your feet
I don’t think they get me, you know they call me sweet
And you’re the only one who really ever understood
That I have a dark side and am not wholly good
At least in this respect as you dangle the bait
I grit my teeth like you do when you make me wait
As the forest and the trees, they all shout your name
I guess that you are right, I am not the same
As I was years ago but you didn’t like
What I offered so I had to make something right
And readjust the sails on the ship that I’m steering
I’m sad you don’t like the things that you’re hearing
As I try my best but it’s falling short
And you tell me so with no remorse
But the burden falls solely into your hands
And you may not like it but you’re the guardian of these lands
In a country that is free, in a garden green
I’m not fooled by the multitudes of people you’ve been
As you promise sanity and a well balanced life
But you hide your truth behind the trenches of a wife
To blockade the arms that are hunting you down
It’s not the same since you left the town
As I wander and I weary where we used to be
And you cultivate the anchorage that keeps you at sea
When all in a moment the silence grabs us both
We are neither sun nor sand, the ocean nor the coast
And fallibility will reign on my parade
I guess I’m just startled by all you put in the shade
With your elegant light and glowing finesse
I seek you out to ease my distress
As you softly imbue your quiet refuge
With a peace I will happily drown in to prove
My loyalty to all you stand for
I’ll take all you have and then some more
The subtlety of your sincere divination
We were both supposed to be at that station
But you never came, no you never arrived
I don’t really know how I survived
The blow that hit me coming in from the west
And I asked God if this was some kind of test
That never seems to end because I never have you
I hope she makes up for what I could never do
Lie out in the openness of unhindered stars
What you had lined up for me were prison bars
Even if you don’t see it I am more than a girl
To frame the picture you take of this world
And to be dressed up for the let down, you see
I knew it would come eventually
When I couldn’t live up to what you’d idealised
I am human and hurt that everything dies
Even you and you especially so
I am not here to keep you from where you want to go
You ask it of me to be ball and chain
But the sacred feminine runs in my veins
To be lifted up and glorified
You are no the lesser because you have tried
To be a man who honours what’s whole
We’re all innocent when it comes to our soul
And laid bare and genuine when it really comes down
To someone we love to be around
And I can feel the longing you ache
The dreams that you enter are the ones I forsake
To divine will, how could one person be
The purpose of life in his mortality
Ever second guessing steps I failed to take
I was looking in your eyes when I felt you shake
And all the world collapsed out from under me
I feel like I am falling but you say I am free
And you may be right but I wouldn’t think so
Still anywhere with you I would be prepared to go
But you watched me from the sidelines like an experiment
And you would push the pulse to see where the blood went
And I know you are gentle and the fragile breaks
But I couldn’t read your mind or preempt my mistakes
That were red flagging my appearance in your mind
As you considered what it would take to leave behind
The penny you picked up dirty from the dust
I don’t know if you felt it when I leaned into the trust
That you inspired by your gentility
Others may have held back but I lacked ability
To contain what was rising from somewhere deep within
Anything that he asks I will give to him
But what I am you already are
And you can’t see yourself even if you try hard
Cause a knife can’t cut itself with its own blade
And I can’t undo the mess that I made
Revolving my inner voice as you supermassive rocket
You can’t apprehend the reason that makes something of it
And my optic nerve leads directly to my brain
And all I can think of is a particular train
And I know that you are bitter in your anxiety
But this is not one sided and you could have talked to me
A delectable flower in the field you passed
But you were blindsided and I didn’t think to ask
What was troubling you as you make your headway
To a goalpost that surpasses what transpired that day
And I wished I could have touched you in the rain
But I owed one to death and you savoured pain
So I give you your due and let it take me
Thank you for the darkness bequeathed infinitely
As I smile at the sadness in your goodbye
I think that you mean it but I don’t know why

Never Walking Alone

I love you even if you hate me and I hate you too
I find I am lost in the smoke of this room
All the reasons and precisons I can’t stay around
But you grudgingly walk holy ground
As red as the fire when I breathe in the air
That circulates in the club when we were there
And moved to the music we can’t understand
The best nights we had are ones we hadn’t planned
Like out on the street to remixed Adele
I Someone Liked You and I did it so well
As Liverpool took us to unforeseen heights
And I crossed my fingers at your goodnights
That were too sparse for my reassurance
But your eyes are summer and you know how to do it
As you smile, I suspect it’s for some other
I’m not sure what you mean and look over my shoulder
But there’s no one there and I am stunned
Into the silence of the depths you have plumbed
Each day is a lesson in learning remorse
As I try to hold in what is building in force
And not skip the lines that crack your sidewalk
I just love to hear you talk
As you do so with an ease that belies
The blazing sincerity of truth your eyes
And all of the angels fall to the floor
Which do you pick up and which do you ignore?
All I know is I’d chase to bring you back
And be overcome when you look at me like that
Don’t die to the darkness that everyone fades
I never wanted you to go away
But if you must leave then do so in sun
And I will hold in my heart all that you have done
To not be alone me when we were together
You didn’t make much of it but I remember
You calling me to be part of the photograph
And you break my heart when you start to laugh
And crinkle the edges just at the corner
I am the girl who is caught and you didn’t warn her
And I can’t steal back the sheets you took
I don’t mean to reveal what you see when you look
In intentions that could never bear their own weight
I love you darling and that’s what I didn’t state

Shanghai

It was a once in a lifetime kind of a thing
And I might have a life but I’ll never have him
And you are a wonder and touch me just so
Where he left the wound that you want to go
I wish I could agree with the please in your eyes
I nod along to the flower that dies
And you give me everything I could entertain
And I know you want to ease my pain
But does that make it right to go along
When you’ve painted the picture and mastered the song
And all I need to do is slip my hand into yours
Stand by your side as you close all the doors
Hope in my heart that it is enough
To hold back the force of his tidal wave love
That wreaked such destruction on all of my plains
I called the cops but they just took names
And now I am stranded in this waste of a place
But someone sees something when they look in my face
And I want to crawl in under your arm
Cause you swore you would never do me that kind of harm
And I know in all honesty you are speaking the truth
And it’s not the first time I have loved you
But the bitterness burns in the back of my throat
As I wonder do I want to stay afloat
Cause the weather may change and the tides may rise
But he will always be God in my eyes
Bitten by a curse I cannot undo
I don’t want to inflict myself upon you
Unsteady heart that roams the seas
And kisses the waves of who I used to be
You are neat and precise and create a home
But I’m desperado and I love it alone
To come and call with flowers to your door
And say that I wish I could give you more
But he already took all that I had
What’s left are the shards and I feel so bad
That the most of what I have to offer
Is to hold your hand and think of how he thinks of her
And you’re worth true love but you don’t let me go
I look in your eyes and I feel that I know
That whatever the winds blow me in time
My feelings for you are not only mine
But surge on repeat to a lunar command
I am your friend and I think we’ll be grand
And fall into step as I catch your breath
I could be yours if you know that I met
Him as he walked blades of grass through the field
And there’s a part of my soul that never will yield
To the onslaught of this universe
I am glad of the way he made me hurt
And if that’s something you can accept
Then maybe I can be who I ought to be yet
Catch the smile to make it spread
He let me go and left me for dead
But clasped in the locket on my chain
Is a blank space waiting for a name
So maybe Poseidan won’t drown me today
I want to say thanks for not going away

The Cripple Walks

Feeling the pain of my other half and consequently in myself
She stood and asked me how I felt and I tried to articulate
It’s like what I always thought she knew, she never even saw
And I realised you never held me in the heart that I held you
And all that I was so sure of just fell by my side
It’s like I’m missing something monumental
And she’s a stranger to me
Mystery in more ways than one
My hands can’t hold her in any way there is
I was by her side
Til the moon cast shadow
And hung it’s head
I knew there were waves
But you drowned in a way I never could
And though I fill my lungs, I can’t help but breathe air
To die is easy, like falling asleep
And I can’t make myself afraid
Of the perpetual night
That ensues
As you sail away
For your far distant adventure
And eminent critique
Of where I reside
To give my life
And bury the sand of the coffins I know
With an ache
You were not there
As I stood sentinel
Over the cracks in the earth
Where lay the possibility I could fall through
Why can’t you ever understand?
I let it go
The purpose in presence
That you do not find here
In eyes
You turn away
And for all your forests’ wilderness
I would not have it so
That you would labour under a sky you hate
So drift
Impermanent
I thought otherwise
And vows played out
To lie broken on the floor
You do not see
But I cannot question your vision
And admit to yourself who you are
I know you will abide
Forever in the place
Of your cravat
That nooses me til I say enough
Beg no more
Alas you say, I knew it would come to this
Contemptible being
You fall
In my gaze
And I, adjacent
Concede
O, Master of Ceremonies
That you may proclaim
A religion foreign to me
And I atheist to your god
Would not have it so that I should lie
With a bended knee
Or head bowed in servitude
You may have your truth
But I do not subscribe
So, loss the one deity that I have served
Though you do not recognise
Alas, it is you, my love

This Is War

Its just another form of oppressioning
You say I don’t hear what you’re speaking
And I may be so angry that that is true
Don’t want to engage with that side of you
As you override all that I say
And I think that you will achieve the day
But it doesn’t undo the march of time
And I pour my heart into my rhyme
As the only place my feelings are sacrosanct
Where you cannot irrigate the seeds you plant
And I don’t want to fight and I don’t want to war
So I just stand back and you know what it’s for
So just let me go and I will resist
Silently to what you insist
You can’t convince me and I won’t change
So just skip me over and you can rearrange
The furniture of your life without me in it
I can’t lend my voice so you can win it
So earn your just cause reprieve
And fight to the death for what you believe
I’ll find some other lonesome I can sail
Cause I don’t belong where you impale
And I’ll just find some quiet I can reconcile
What people do to each other every once in a while
And my helplessness at what I cannot face
That I could be something you would erase
And I guess it just comes down to that
Something went away and it never came back

Waterfall Drop

I don’t want to be a refugee
Of the war that has changed me
And the silence in between the sounds
I am the mortar the pestle grounds
And I have faded away

Once upon a time I held the world
But that was back when I was a girl
And ran so free through the fields
Now I feel the way my body yields
To the passing of time and circumstance
I never asked to be part of this dance
But here am I

Now they say not too far away
Is a place where my head can lay
But they spend their days to kill and maim
Before they shift their weight and then the blame
And I wonder am I human at all
If this is how they follow the call
It is chasming inside me

And all I ask is you remember me
As the way I used to be
Not the shadow that haunts the grounds
Of a past life where freedom abounds
It is all taken by time

And all my fever is just fighting the tide
But hot blood doesn’t mean you’re alive
As I have learned to my chagrin
But I have something, I want to let you in
You can count me with the dead

And all your motives just fall away
When you realise it cannot stay
Persuasion does not alter the ground
Because I have heard a sweeter sound
And move toward the light

So goodbye to all at the hearth
To tell the truth I prefer the dark
Than your tales of truth and lies
I am no longer bound by those ties
Something has cut the chain

And never, never will I return
I just want to see the whole world burn
In the fire that consumes it all
I forsake it and I let it fall
Therein lies my peace

Inspired by “After All” by Dar Williams

Opinionation

I still think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
Though you stabbed me in the back and shattered my dream
And I’ve seen sights like wild fields and hills
But they don’t swallow the void that your face kills
So soft and sweet like the hairs on your chin
That shadows the hollows that define you within
But though you cross valleys and traverse foreign shores
You can’t distance away all that I am for
And wherever you go or what you may discover
It will be imbued with what we uncover
And your love will follow and stay by my side
I am the keeper of what you confide
Whispered so honestly in secret tones
In all that passes you are still my home
Where I will return when the midnight is due
From the depths of my being I will always love you
And forever’s just a word to hint at the crime
That happened just once when we stopped time
In the creases and folds and the fabric of space
There is a beauty nothing can erase
And it bears your name in the wrinkles you bend
Lighting up eyes that do not end
In the ochre or blackness or the scorching you do
With a heat that the desert cannot compare to
In the holding of hands or the touch that you weave
It only takes a moment to kneel and believe
In everything you profess and all that you are
This is my wish and you my shooting star

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