Older Now

I was young and stupid
To turn you down
I wore a cool dress
Would you be around
And you’ve got eyes
That go on for eons
And I’m just staring
Trying to capture scenes
Of college and cool
And red as a ruby
It doesn’t take Einstein
Or Scooby
Doo
To figure out
I like you
There is no doubt
And your fortress is just a wall
And I ask you to let them fall
As we hold hands
Throw your arm over my shoulder
And I feel as though the boulder
That I carry has dropped away
And I’m lost for words to say
Coz you leave me speechless, in awe
And I can feel my icicles thaw
In the warmth of your soul
Your fire is embers glowing coal
And the heat is burning away
All the barriers I hold at bay
Do you think that we
Could rock out and see
Everything there is to be
It took some time but you’re dear to me
And I hold a candlelight for your frame
I stutter the words that make up your name
Do you think it would be the same
If I took to the road and you airplane
Over my fields so green
It’s oceans I have seen
In the age of you
There’s nothing you have to do
To be the pure you effortlessly are
I see you reflected in a star

The Essential

I know he loves me no matter what you say
That doesn’t mean I expect him back any day
It’s just that heart, once shared is given
And stitches itself into all your livin’
I just know he beats
His heart with every step on the streets
And is whole
He loves with all of his soul
And I’m happy for her
But we still were
Though time has passed
And I don’t know what for
I don’t know if you see
That love shines eternally
From every form
The sun itself lives to keep us warm
And I know there is
More than surface tension on the water we live
To hold up
I’m more than what you’re thinkin’ of

Alive Tonight

Getting drunk in the city
Darragh’s cute and Johnroy is witty
And Liosa and Isabelle are so pretty
Im too smart and that’s a pity
And I feel lost in the move of the club
Marian holds my hand as we walk round the pub
And it’s a sprawling mess but it’s divine
The days UCD was mine
And I did less learning than ever before
Don’t you see how the sun lit up the floor
As we did a skit about being D4
I’d never been that sassy before
But it only made us closer as a group
And I was just sitting on the stoop
When he laughed and told a joke
And he smiles so I don’t have to cope
With this damn state of mind that’s dragging me under
He is the clouds
But I am the thunder
And I just rumble
Into the town that we own
He’s older than me
But you never would’ve known
As he bought me a drink
That said don’t think
Too much about those things
He makes a face and my heart sings
He throws his arm casually round my shoulder
And I feel I’ve just dropped the boulder
That I’ve been rolling up this hill
He lets me see his heart at will
It’s lockdown and I’m thinking of him
Wondering if he kept that grin
And nothing burns like gasoline
You’re the fire in my dream
And I never told you what you wanted me to
Could you see that I love you?
And he probably has a furnace to build
He’s the red in my heart and it cannot be filled
With the memory of what we were
Can I present tense the moment I’m her
As we’re running down aisles and chasing down stars
And Rob, you know, he plays guitars
And I just wish I could be involved
Coz this damn problem’s never solved
But I wouldn’t change it, because we met
I hold a space in my soul for you yet

Universal Design

I think Eckhart underestimates the human race
And I’m not saying this just to save face
Coz I can feel an expansive motion of tide
Pulling me somewhere to abide
And it’s everywhere, in everyone
Shining brighter than the light of the sun
Bequeathing honesty and tomes
Pulling people out of their alones
Into a space where all is real
And it is everything I feel
Coz the man changed my life, he brought the stars
And I let go of my hold on my prison bars
Always a safe place to suffer in
But the water is kinder and I begin
To wade myself into the river deep
I’m awake when people sleep
And it is a promise I always keep
To find the truth and then to speak
But the going is challenging by the sea
Though I figure out it’s my destiny
Handing out hope like tomorrow’s bread
Letting love live my life instead
And the openness is something that I find
Is quintessentially good and abundantly kind
And I really do not mind
If no one sees what’s left behind
Because I pick up and origami the paper
It’s all the one and you’ll see it later
If you don’t see it now in open hands
The Universe and our well laid plans

Here, Not Gone

There are so many things
In life that pass away
Made me ask
Does anything stay
And I found in the dark
An unbeatable light
It’s shines through the veil
Til everyone’s alright
And it’s taking to task
The body I walk
Makes me speak
Not merely talk
And it loves and it cares
But it is detached
Unlocks the door
Even when it’s latched
It goes up and over
Here and beyond
Answers questions
Like a dumb blonde
With the smarts
I looked it’s way
And suddenly it starts
To shine
For the whole world to see
Don’t you know
It’s not about me
But about the fabric
Becoming paper thin
He saw the real
So I let him in

A New Vista

What used to seem so sure
Is now disappearing over the hill
Can change change me
Or do I swear it never will
As I hold onto who I used to be
But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see
The ocean is not held in a span
And will I do what I can
To be a modern example of what is true
What’s possible for me and you
As we share a world unique
But I do not dare to speak
My voice though it reverberate
Around the hall as we equate
Together with just being there
I’ve learned from love and I do care
Though shapeless you see
Me in a way and integrity
Has me burning a fuse in my mind
To always be awesome and super kind
And fearless with courage to bear
The way the fabric tear
On this dream of us
I found true love and in it I trust

All Of The People

There’s a hundred million souls 
Hanging round this joint
But somehow you’re the one
My heart anoint
And ignite like a signal fire
In those days I never tire
Of my rebound nature
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later
And he passed like a comet across the sky
Proclaiming that which will never die
In a moment we are as One
And he merged with the Son
To shine a light so bright the sound goes deaf
To all that is and isn’t left
In the ashes that burn up into flame
A phoenix by everything but name
And he’s lovely and normal and sweet as pie
And I just want him to see me cry
To let him in through the facade
The bulletproof and feeling bad
To this garden where everything grows
And there’s a flower here for you, God knows
That’s been ten years in the making
There are no tales worth the shaking
The run away induced
But you are here and I’ve deduced
That everything will be okay
Will you ever look at me that way
Again
And men
Just remind me of us
Our solid steel and unbreakable trust

Epicology

Photo by Stephan Seeber on Pexels.com
I write my own version of epicology
It's a word I made up to describe mythology 
Of the personal self so cool
Oh, the awesome that I was in school
As I danced on a cloud nine
The minute He pierced through what was mine
To reveal the ever present source
And I'm filled with remorse
That I never seem to live up to 
The identical that I saw in You
As we spend our time just having a laugh
As we melt like a wall that's not gonna last
And I can't contain you in a rhyme
Except that you were outside of time
A moment, free and then to bind 
We lost love to the mind
As the shackles came back to say
We don't let people go that way
But I look up and the light
Is still shining on us, alright
And I don't need to let go
Of what is inherent to me, you know
And I don't know how to unfurl 
The heart that creates the girl 
As a modicum to understand
You were the truth I hadn't planned
Thought I could be the solitary queen
Til the sword lanced the dream 
And birthed me into real life
I like you, is that alright? 

The Wilful Abandon

The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane 
And if I lose is there something to gain
Coz I see you over there, from afar
You're radiant, a celestial star
And I just don't know what you are
But you raise the bar
On all that's yet to come
When you get older you realise that you're still young
On the verge of thirty three
Never realised old age would come to me
Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend 
There's a beginning, middle and end
To every story that you ever tell
But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well
Coz it's all that there is 
And I'm still His
As he moves the atoms in waves around
The nucleus with a doppler effect sound
And am I just trying to be smart
I made studying seem like an art
Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up 
On the institution I used to love 
But it brought me somewhere I've never been
Something I couldn't even think to dream
And I always thought I'd be a writer 
But I hate conflict so please don't fight her
And if there's something to say
Could you please utter it in a kind way
Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose
But I just don't want to lose
As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine
I let go of the life that's mine 
To be held in the expansive note
Of a God I can barely quote
Without referring to old wisdom
But I think light might be a prism
When you bend it to refract
I saw the truth, now I can't go back 

The Flow Of Incandescence

Money is the language Western culture speaks
While in the East we wonder who eats
As we clamber together a mountain of rocks
And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks
Do we really know where we’re going
I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing
Do I have a destiny to live up to
Or am I just throwing shapes at you
As I move in the room through the embrace of air
The nothing that’s something and ever there
As we all return to the Tao that gives birth
To learn and live the lessons of hurt
Of the pain that transforms
Mere weather into thunderstorms

Life In Eden

There’s no way back now
We’ve got to find a new way somehow
To cut a swathe through the tide
Really breathe while we’re alive
And we may have realized
That we’re all living under blue skies
But we hide behind each tree we find
Conceptualize it with the power of mind
And search for a way to be secure
But don’t you know we’re all born pure
And I’m not trying to catch you out
But don’t you think it’s good to doubt
And question what you don’t understand
The life of the free is never planned
But an unfoldment in Universal degree
I may be wrong but hey, that’s just me!

Break Up Songs

Living the life of a break up song
And I’m like her, I can do no wrong
Til I finally admit
The problem is me
And I thought I was Moses
Parting the sea
But I’m just a girl
Who’s thirty two
Learning to love
And rely on You
The God of forewarned understanding
And I know my wishes can be demanding
But I plead that He lets them be
Bring change through the vehicle of me
Let my hands be a messenger of love
The descent of redemption from above
As I acquiesce to His will
I won’t know the answer until
I live it and move my bones
Give the many bread and homes

Is Jeremy With Ya?

Is Jeremy with ya
Are ya reading the news
It’s all I can do
Not to lie on the pews
Coz the sunshine is storming
To a degree
I wasn’t looking
When it struck me
And I fell from on high
With a thunderous jolt
Cascading oblivion
An electric volt
10,000 pulsing micro equations
I find truth on tv stations
As I flick the remote to and fro
I thought you would just know
If I let it resound
It’s like the chains don’t know they are bound
Until they fall to the clanging ground
With an unearthly shake
It was the first breath I knew how to take

Dreamboat Disguised

Deep in disguise 
I wade through the water
You somebody’s son
I’m the moon’s daughter
And I slip sideways
Out of the scene
You were the best part
Of my dream
And I watched you watch me
You took my pic
You grabbed the towel
And the gear stick
Shook in my hand
Said goodbye to Sam
You said he’ll be grand
And I drove you home
It was just the two of us
All alone
And you stopped to stare
I stopped the car
And met you there
And I wonder if I’ll ever see
You looking again like that at me
As I shared on a screen
Some kind of light show
I’d tell you the truth
If you want me to, you know
All the love in my heart
And you were a rouge kind of dark
As you let the wilderness consume
I watch you from across the room

Following That Flame

I used to blaze a trail
I was always on fire
If you get the down low
It’ll take you higher
And I had a taste
Of the Immaculate Heart
Found something within me
That will never depart
Then I lost faith
And all in ruins
Went day drinking
With howareya’doin’s
Til I
Hit the floor
And at rock bottom
There was a trapdoor
That let me out
Or let me in
I sign my name
In love with him
And he sees me there
Upon a hill
Does destiny decide
Or some higher will
About whether or not
We’re meant to be
Til I found myself
Down on one knee
Professing all I can’t contain
Like the clouds when it starts to rain
And, aghast, he grips a chair
“But I thought there was nothing there”
Now I’m all at sea
And must accept the calamity
That follows my footsteps down the road
I kissed a prince
And found a toad
And I’m laughing, laughing
Coz there’s nothing wrong
And he leads with the power of song
Always to his beholden one
And I wouldn’t wish them undone
For any power in the world of man
I smile but I don’t know how you can
Let this be and let this go
I just wanted you to know
You were the soundtrack of my summer year
And I’m gonna always hold you dear
And visualize my own scene
I’ll meet you somewhere, maybe when you dream
In avenues and wonder spells
It was lovely, our show and tell

The I Am

I see the I Am in every pair of eyes
Once you look there’s no disguise
And I venerate the Holy One
The ocean of which cannot be undone
And the chains fall like shackles on the floor
As I make way for what I adore
The riverbeds flow toward the sea
So it is with the Guru and me
The spaciousness nothing can contain
The sky beyond the rain
The storm clouds far beneath
The person that I used to be

Trading On My Innocence

Am I trading on my innocence
And the forest gets more dense
As I try to discern
That which simply doesn’t burn
In the fires of time
And would it be a glorious crime
To admit the steady part of me
That just will not let ok be
And I traverse the hills
The loss of all my aforementioned skills
Til I’m kneeling by the shore
The monument that I adore
An empty ocean sea
That is pumping the heart of me

Love And Other Verbs

Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know
But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go
As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind
I keep wondering what I left behind
And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin
I just feel like dancing when I talk with him
And what’s going on is not what it appears
I’m not laying all my life on you, dears
I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge
Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his
And he owns the motions I make through the air
It was just a moment but we both were there
To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting
I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting
For the first time again after so long
Is the seat by your side where I belong?

The Spools Of Infinitesimal Thread

I knock but there’s no answer
And I’ve done my time being a dancer
Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread
Into a daydream in my head
And I may be deluded, I may be wrong
But this love thing is so damn strong
As I feel it pulse in my chest
Weighing up who I love the best
But it flits around to varying beings
Changes with the landscape I’m seeing
An intimacy I cannot describe
I just thank God I’m alive
To experience all of this
It was Truth like a first kiss
As I wake up to what I am
And all that moves without a plan

Remind Them Of Their Humanity

Remind them of their humanity
Don’t let it switch off
It’s not long living
But all is not lost
Coz there is a molten core
At the heart of everyone
Nuclear fusion
Brighter than the sun
And it burns irregardless
Of the darkness you put yourself through
Don’t deny
All that is you
And I know it
Coz I’ve been through the night
But in the midst of the storm
The eye is alright
And I trust in the value
Of what makes us real
Is it intuition
Or the way that I feel
That tells me there’s an end
To a fighting soul
The wave is the ocean
Even if it has to roll
And you’re still what you are
Even in the confusion
Wake up from dread
And the delusion
That we are separate
From each other
Walking the plains
As sister and brother
And opening a sky
That will soothe with rain
We don’t have to
Go through this again
And I’m a reporter
On the front line
I don’t think we can do this
Another time

Of Transparency

I’m as see through as a pane of glass
And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask
What exactly is on your mind
I left the world I left behind
And grew up into walking shoes
To hold my own and pay my dues
In seasonal or in holiday stance
And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance
As you tic tac toe in front of me
Mr. Awesome or so I see
As you lean in close to meet my word
And I wonder what it is you heard
Coz it echoes against these cavern walls
In holidays and free for all’s
You knock on my door with your suit and tie
Stand up for what can never die
And I take your arm as we walk to the dance
Is loving you a sort of chance
Or risk I’m taking out on the pier
Letting a man come near
Close enough to break my heart
By giving him a share or part
Of what I’ve held in from the sky
I’m not playing games, I don’t lie
But I hold back because the fear
Is great enough to kill me, dear
And my heart It pounds in my chest
As I forsake the rest
To say I will and I do
When I’m looking straight at you
In eyes held tight at the altar
The time is now though it gets shorter
To see the mist advance with age
Though I can’t run from a blank page
That bids me just to tell the truth
And it’s not so bad giving way to youth
That is passing like a sea of storm
You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm
You are an immortal being
Though these images that I’m seeing
May make you want to run a mile
Or, I dunno, maybe just smile
And laugh and say isn’t that the way
You look at me and I’m okay

Fighting My Femininity

I fight with my femininity
It evokes love
But I can’t tie myself
To any of the above
Only open my heart
For peace to be shared
Open my notebook
To say that I cared
And that I’m not
In this quiet, tight space
But dreaming of days
When I touch your face
Telling you all
You mean to me
Not closing the door
So you can be free
And I know that I have put out
More than I take back
And I have been hobbling
Over what I lack
But the sight of you
Is like a comet true
And I’m shaking just thinking
Of what I would do
If you were mine
To have and to keep
To wake up beside
A good nights sleep
And you’re kind and you’re awesome
I’ve been keeping you away
I look down at my feet
Coz I don’t know what to say
And you tell me I’m lovely
And beautiful
He left me empty
Now I am full
Of a joy that’s brimming
Full of trust
Can I come in, baby
It’s a must
And you look at me
As if I defy
The life I’m leading
As some kind of lie
But I just wanna be
Myself again
A woman in
A world full of men
Telling me how
I should contain
This heart of mine
That’s broken with pain
But shining with gold
As I repair
The parts of myself
That knows you are there
That knows there is kindness
And there is truth
More than monuments
I’ve built to our youth
And nobody knows
Or can describe
The feeling of loving
Breath when you’re alive
And I’m haunted by loss
And the threat of death
Keep living days
Full of regret
Coz I can’t control
The passing of seasons
Or people with pride
And a bowl full of reasons
And is it insincere
To proclaim my devotion
To the silence
In all the commotion
As I feel the movement
Of a pin drop
Signaling winter
Or the moment to stop
And take in an aside
Of all we’re meant to be
I didn’t know if you knew
So I’m letting you see

Two Dogs Snarling

We became like two dogs snarling
In the days I called you darling
And you spit your words out at me
I let you go free
Like we’re aching from our history
You and the mystery
As ages pass us by
And we love but we don’t know why
And we fight and we try
But we can’t forgive the lie
And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted
And I just remember when we started
And how it is so different now
I still see you through the wind somehow

The Red Of Fire

I actually haven’t lost my spark
Or my ability to make a mark
And it seems my visage has grown strained
Wearing a look so pained
From all the trials I’ve been through
All for the courage I lacked in you
As you exclaimed against your will
That love is nothing but a skill
And I soared into the roaring sun
All for fear of being come undone
That I feel in your presence blue
The red of fire I am to you

Life In Eden

What if we’re living in Paradise
The green fields of our life
And he is tormented by the loss of Eden
And I was ardent in my believing
Til I met the moment in a night
And something did ignite
Burned like a fuse towards dynamite
Spinning ever closer to its own execution
I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution
Of what I mean to say
I’d rather just point the way
And have you follow where I go
But my steps shake as I move slow
Across the ground of the room
There is so much more than doom
In the space that we share
There is true love and care
I feel I must speak up to say
It’s more than a myth and okay
I get that you have your own perspective
But my view is true and objective
Like a glass with no lens
You only see through it when you don’t defend
Yourself from what you mean to be
You just open up for free
And find it echo in your bones
Away from the beat of earphones
And all the noise that fills the day
It’s not a game or a power play
But something that must be known
I pull the curtains back and it’s shown

Idealism

Idealism has me loving him
Through the wings of a new song
And I’ve only felt
Sparsely that I belong
In and out between the fear
Catching hold of what I hold dear
In the hopes that it won’t leave
And it’s little that I don’t believe
Coz it all pulses in my throat
And are we post rote
Learning now
I sit upon the bough
Of a leaning tree
To watch the sunset fade in front of me
And think it’s much like a life
That doesn’t get to happen twice
Unless you’re into that sort of thing
A reincarnation into the skin that swim
In the great ocean
And I’ve always been emotion
Trying to calm down
But I walk on solid ground
As my heart beats in my chest
Trust in God and leave the rest

The Non Spectacular Nature Of Now

The non spectacular nature of Now 
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old

Just A Private Grievance

Is it just a private grievance
Always holding myself back
Because I see the wings of angels
Ready to attack
For all I’m lost and holding
Forever to the degree
It’s infinitesimal
But it means the world to me
To see you reengage
With the world that you know
I’d be waiting for you
I said it to you slow
So the mountains bate their breath
And everything in between
Is like a summer in the winter
Or waking from the dream

Intensity

I’m burning up like the flow of the river 
As all of life calls me to forgive her
Coz I can’t split in two just to spite my face
Or deny the regard of constant disgrace
And I was only a teen
But I saw through the cracks in the dream
Untoward a vast expanse
Where music makes the people dance
And I feel as though I’m on fire
Like I’ve been lit by something higher
But it always seems to come back to ground
Like I’m rooted in the sound
Of you saying goodbye
Then realizing what it means to die
As I sweated it out in the class
Then fell victim to what could not last
And I stirred on the floor as I heard her call
It was like I’d lost the wall
Separating me from creation
A moment stunned and then elation
You can call it enlightenment or waking up
Or just realizing all is love
Then I see you with your eyes downcast
And I try to forget the past
But the memory of the crush is ever fresh
And I’m still not there yet
At the part they say release
But I may just be at peace

Down Into The Midnight

I feel myself sinking down into the midnight 
The absence of perfume, the absence of light
The dawn of knowing what you cannot say
The reluctant acceptance of what cannot stay
And I know in the storm there is a break of day
And when you trust in God it’ll all be okay
But sometimes the ocean is just too deep
And I try to catch a few moments of sleep
Before I awaken with a start
Like everything good it comes from the heart

The Thaw

They’re selling an American Dream
But I’m walking on a moonbeam
As it guides my way home
And tells me I’m not alone
As I open out into the vast expanse
Perceive the space as the molecules dance
To make up the shape of me
The frame of what is memory
Held together by a subtle flaw
I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw

That Particles Are Things

You’re burning up the atmosphere
Like the ozone layer is clear
And fuck that bullshit, I spin the dial
And listen to you sincere
Coz the guy beside me loves me
And I love him too
But the worst of the weather
Means it is not you
And closing my eyes is all I can do
So that I won’t know
The places where I should not go
Though they call to me
An elephant graveyard or Eternity
Could you please give me a clue
You laugh and say the answer too!

Paper Trails

Leaving a paper trail of tears behind me
I’m overwrought so never mind me
As I build a new monument to all that’s fallen
I’m in the Deep South and they are drawling
As they curb all anticipation
Can I watch your tv station
Just for a little while
I made you see, you made me smile
And all I can think of is torment
The indigenous people and where they went
Forced across rock and stone
Broken in their skin and bone
But with their Spirit true
I can still have faith in You
As all comes crashing like a wave
Is it sin to abdicate to save
And hold a hand
Is the shore more than sand
And if a rock is hewn to bits
Do you have space to sit with it
Or does its impermanent tone
Remind you what it’s like to be alone
Moving weight like old stone
I’d hold back but I’ve already shown
All of my stars to you
I’ll love you if you want me to

Rewriting The Rulebook

She’s rewriting the rule book
Like I did with a school look
As I ran up and down the halls
Some are chasing dreams, I’m chasing walls
To keep me safe and closeted in
But it takes a breath for the night to begin
And once it does you can’t go back
Obsessed with how they have all you lack
And she shines
But I’ve written that story a thousand times
As I begged to be let in
Then got caught in the full glare of a grin
That suddenly shone on me
Asked for my hand and my integrity
And I fell victim to
An obsession with the form of you
When the midnight calls my name
And I nonchalant all the same
Your absolutely sincere
Does intimacy mean more than near
Coz this close is comfortable
Like we’re both being vulnerable
And almost to touch
I gotta say I love you so much
Behind the folds of a page
This moment will never age

39000 Feet

We’re up here at 39000 feet
Where the cold is warm as the elements meet
And make a force of nature new
If you don’t know I’m talking about you
As somewhere we swim inside the depth
And the best thing about Now is what is unmet
By the forest in kind of trees and of beers
And I lost myself in the years and years
Trying to find what can’t be described
All the while knowing I’m still alive
Coz I feel this heart beat through my skin
But there’s a part of me that’s deeper within
Than any skin and bone can mend
And death is simply not the end
Just a continuum of undefended peace
Or a moment of great release
As all of the sidewalks lead into one
Trust in God and in the Son

Own What’s Mine

There was a panic at the disco when I walked in
And I threw my coke at the guy who flashed me a grin
And grabbed my ass
Without ever thinking to ask
Me for the time of day
Hey, bro it’s not okay
And I’m more than forests green
I’m much more than I may seem
And someday in the starshine
I will come to really own what’s mine

The Ocean And The Sky

Settling into the ocean
I’m not afraid of the fear of motion
And everything is all commotion
It’s bliss to miss what they call devotion
And I’m always wiser when I’m drunk
Trying to sip my way out of a ship that’s sunk
Trying to talk my way out of this funk
Without having to shake my junk
And I know that’s kind of crass
To think you have to move your ass
To get any kind of attention
I’m growing but I dare not mention
What I have to do to be me
I will not sacrifice my dignity

Her Love

Her love is tragedy
Like she could pageant me
And I can see the loss
The way she dots her t’s
And if I love her
It’s my disease
But she picks me up
Off from my knees
When I’ve been crying
For a season
Like this pain
Comes without any reason
And the doubt
Holds me together
She patches me up
Despite the weather

My Pain

Rolling in the river like it’s a storm
It’s ice cold but it keeps me warm
As I sigh at the advances of every guy
I’m solitary, lonely and I don’t know why
Coz everything seems like it’s out to get me
At least since the day that he met me
And I fired the summer with a new fuse
Lost love like I had the power to choose
And his breath comes in gasps as he’s staring at me
My love is true so I set him free
But he’s just in the wilderness I let him touch
Doesn’t know the depths of what I love so much
And the ocean is water but so is a tear
I count the time like trees do a year
It’s okay with me all of the time
But in secret silence I call you mine
As you stay away and I respect
What you haven’t come to terms with as of yet
The guilt, the hatred, the violent pain
You look up and it’s raining again
It’s all it can do til the cloud has passed
But the sky is still blue and it will always last

Sister Soul

Ijust wanna protect her
And I’m so mad that he’d reject her
And ruin her starlit shine
It’s kind of like the light that used to be mine
And now she sings of a defeat, years ago
I close my eyes because I should not know
But I do
I still feel you
In the cobwebs of my mind
Kind of like a secret I’ve left behind
And we tangled up our avenues
I sing of heaven without you
And innocence lost
She paid the price but at what cost

Safe Haven

The war in her heart spills over into mine
When I say I love you for the thousandth time
And you’re nothing more than fantasy
Dreams I make out of the fate you see
And you’re roving wild waters
And your chivalry escorts her
At least in my mind
As I look on from being left behind
It’s a sorry state
But I won’t give in to hate
As the wound it festers
And the court is filled with jesters
That make the music of the time
But that sound could never be mine
As I pull away from modern notions
Focusing on my emotions
Til they’re all I can see
But that’s not all there is of me
And dignity
Walks me to the door
As you say your love’s no more
And I agree
I look out but it’s wintery
As I pull my jacket close
You look like you’ve seen a ghost
“You’re not gonna venture into that”
But I gave you a home, I won’t take it back
And he pulls my hand
Close to his soul that’s made of sand
As it pours on through
Was I wrong to trust in you
And he sighs
“I’ll take leave of our goodbyes”
And points me toward the flame
That is burning in the middle of his name
You can stay here
I say, okay, my dear

It’s Devastating

The source of her love is effulgent flame
And it kills me that others don’t feel the same
As they hear her plaintive cry
And leave her in the rubble to die
But I grab her hand, pull her out of there
Wash the wounds, show her some care
Tell her about the mystery
That lies within both you and me
And she starts to revive
Feeling the tremble of being alive
As she takes each breath
Scared she can’t put her feet to the floor yet
In case it shakes
She looks at me through all her mistakes
And trusts and lets go and comes to be
All that she Is eternally

Wild Country

Living here is wild country
I ran away so he couldn’t dump me
And the waves of irritation
Are nothing to his tv station
As it plays the same old tune
The lightning struck me in the room
As I said my prayers
I tell no one coz who cares
About that kind of thing
It’s like I grew an angel wing
To help me fly
And I saw to what could not die
And I try
To smile and put me first
I’m better off but it’s the worst

Steal Away Home

I think I would steal away home
To find the letters you wrote on stone
In tablet form with a stylus
The reams of literature can’t confine us
Coz we are a storm by the light of day
But in the night we are okay
As you put one finger on my pulse
And wait for the racing heart to lull
Into the birth of silent trust
The reams of gold that will not rust
Only gaze in steady charm
The love of God is safe from harm

Brotherhood Romance

Nothing fits it’s shape any more
When you’re knocking on a closed door
Only to see it opens from the inside
All this time you’ve been alive
And never really known it
Like your true colours, never really shown it
Til the dye is running through
I got messed up in a dream of you
One without an adequate ending
And I quit the scene instead of unfriending
You where you stood out there
Didn’t want you to think I didn’t care
But I’ve got to run
Coz I love the sun
And how it turns my skin brown
I never lived for the town
But for the acres, fields of grass
Lying in the Everlast
Til the cows come home
I realise I’m not alone

Billionaires

A billion billion stars in the night sky
Eight billion humans and we’re all afraid to die
And the circle of life, it goes round and round
You take your last breath then you don’t make a sound
As you’re returned to the place you have always been
Waking up to life now it has been a dream
But born again anew into something fresh
Throw away your fears and all of your regrets
Leave them with the storm that is brewing by the coast
Be the one who means the very most
To everyone who looks to know if it was there
You’ve seen through the night, now you can’t fake a stare

Fleeting

That fast feeling of fading when you’re twenty two
And everything is growing up around you
The flowers to rise, then wither and die
The sheets of sleet that just make you cry
As you’re facing outward into the rain
Must we go through this all over again
As the avenues merge into one route
And you take a shot at the kissing booth
But it’s all just so fleeting in transition
Like you’ve woken up out of a worn condition
And into the sky that always serene
To anchor in what you’ve always been

Black Holes and Daydreams

There she goes out on a spin
I wonder will I end up with him
Coz the spiral galaxies can’t contain
Anything that is less than rain
And it all cascades from a cloud
When you speak do you do it out loud
And are you proud
Of all you’ve come to be
Do you really see
Or just threaten so
I ask because it’s somewhere I go
Sometimes
And all my rhymes
Can’t fill the awning gap in my soul
How do you find yourself in a black hole
Singular true
The point of eternity flowing from you

Lead With His Pain

He lead with his pain
The king of I’m never doing that again
As he repeats henceforth
And then is full of remorse
But the moment is still as it passes
It’s about waking up from your lessons in classes
As you jot a note down
Then feel as if you’re gonna drown
In the ocean surrounding us all
And he seems weak though he never call
And the evenings are long though they’re not straight
And I leave it up to God or fate
As I climb a tree at fifteen
Take snapshots of who I could’ve been
And time has passed in a caress
And I wear jeans under my dress
To go trudging through the muck
And I gotta say I always gave a fuck
About you, about them, about him, about us
The windowpane is cracked but the trust
Still rests in steady arms
So turn off your alarms
And rest back into the resident peace
I watched the war in me cease
I listened as the noise fell quiet
Though the streets may be a riot
With all the summer rain
I’ll take the truth without a name
As it’s hampered on
But you know it’s not gone
As long as my heart steady beats
And long after the tide retreats
To leave a shore to smile
It’s forever in a long while
To go on singing your own tune
I feel them all in this room
As I touch my hand to my chest
It’s not only the dead who rest
As I let peace reign supreme
And get up from the couch as though from a dream

Narrow Arms

I’ve got narrow arms
I’ve always been thin
And I’m so short
Beside him
But he makes me feel
Ten stories high
And I’ll love him
Til the day I die
Or longer and further
If I may
But I want him
To know, okay
Letting go
Of the years I hid
Always holding out
For the highest bid
But something in
The way he smiled
Had me walking
All these miles
Back to the place
I started
The moment when
Faith imparted
Us with just
A moment to spare
And I can tell
When you’re not there
And when you are
Like a cosmic star
Does she realise
Just how far
This love will go
It’s forever
I hope you know
It threads the needle
So very fine
And is a step
Out of time
Into what
You can only call
The root
Of it all
Grown in ground
Like steady soil
So, let go
Of all your toil
And rest back into
The arms of Heaven
As secure as
The number eleven