Tag: life

Love And Other Verbs

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Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know
But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go
As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind
I keep wondering what I left behind
And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin
I just feel like dancing when I talk with him
And what’s going on is not what it appears
I’m not laying all my life on you, dears
I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge
Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his
And he owns the motions I make through the air
It was just a moment but we both were there
To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting
I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting
For the first time again after so long
Is the seat by your side where I belong?

The Spools Of Infinitesimal Thread

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I knock but there’s no answer
And I’ve done my time being a dancer
Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread
Into a daydream in my head
And I may be deluded, I may be wrong
But this love thing is so damn strong
As I feel it pulse in my chest
Weighing up who I love the best
But it flits around to varying beings
Changes with the landscape I’m seeing
An intimacy I cannot describe
I just thank God I’m alive
To experience all of this
It was Truth like a first kiss
As I wake up to what I am
And all that moves without a plan

Remind Them Of Their Humanity

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Remind them of their humanity
Don’t let it switch off
It’s not long living
But all is not lost
Coz there is a molten core
At the heart of everyone 
Nuclear fusion
Brighter than the sun
And it burns irregardless
Of the darkness you put yourself through
Don’t deny
All that is you
And I know it
Coz I’ve been through the night
But in the midst of the storm
The eye is alright
And I trust in the value
Of what makes us real
Is it intuition
Or the way that I feel
That tells me there’s an end
To a fighting soul
The wave is the ocean
Even if it has to roll
And you’re still what you are
Even in the confusion
Wake up from dread
And the delusion
That we are separate 
From each other
Walking the plains
As sister and brother
And opening a sky
That will soothe with rain
We don’t have to
Go through this again
And I’m a reporter 
On the front line
I don’t think we can do this
Another time

Of Transparency

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I’m as see through as a pane of glass
And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask
What exactly is on your mind
I left the world I left behind 
And grew up into walking shoes
To hold my own and pay my dues
In seasonal or in holiday stance
And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance
As you tic tac toe in front of me
Mr. Awesome or so I see
As you lean in close to meet my word
And I wonder what it is you heard
Coz it echoes against these cavern walls
In holidays and free for all’s
You knock on my door with your suit and tie
Stand up for what can never die
And I take your arm as we walk to the dance
Is loving you a sort of chance
Or risk I’m taking out on the pier
Letting a man come near
Close enough to break my heart
By giving him a share or part
Of what I’ve held in from the sky
I’m not playing games, I don’t lie
But I hold back because the fear
Is great enough to kill me, dear
And my heart It pounds in my chest
As I forsake the rest
To say I will and I do
When I’m looking straight at you
In eyes held tight at the altar
The time is now though it gets shorter
To see the mist advance with age
Though I can’t run from a blank page
That bids me just to tell the truth
And it’s not so bad giving way to youth
That is passing like a sea of storm
You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm
You are an immortal being
Though these images that I’m seeing
May make you want to run a mile
Or, I dunno, maybe just smile
And laugh and say isn’t that the way
You look at me and I’m okay

Fighting My Femininity

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I fight with my femininity
It evokes love
But I can’t tie myself
To any of the above
Only open my heart
For peace to be shared
Open my notebook
To say that I cared
And that I’m not
In this quiet, tight space
But dreaming of days 
When I touch your face
Telling you all 
You mean to me
Not closing the door
So you can be free
And I know that I have put out
More than I take back
And I have been hobbling 
Over what I lack
But the sight of you
Is like a comet true
And I’m shaking just thinking
Of what I would do
If you were mine
To have and to keep
To wake up beside
A good nights sleep
And you’re kind and you’re awesome
I’ve been keeping you away
I look down at my feet
Coz I don’t know what to say
And you tell me I’m lovely
And beautiful
He left me empty
Now I am full
Of a joy that’s brimming
Full of trust
Can I come in, baby
It’s a must
And you look at me
As if I defy
The life I’m leading
As some kind of lie
But I just wanna be
Myself again
A woman in
A world full of men
Telling me how 
I should contain
This heart of mine
That’s broken with pain
But shining with gold
As I repair
The parts of myself
That knows you are there
That knows there is kindness
And there is truth
More than monuments 
I’ve built to our youth
And nobody knows
Or can describe
The feeling of loving
Breath when you’re alive
And I’m haunted by loss
And the threat of death
Keep living days 
Full of regret 
Coz I can’t control
The passing of seasons
Or people with pride
And a bowl full of reasons
And is it insincere 
To proclaim my devotion
To the silence
In all the commotion
As I feel the movement
Of a pin drop
Signaling winter
Or the moment to stop
And take in an aside
Of all we’re meant to be
I didn’t know if you knew
So I’m letting you see

Two Dogs Snarling

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We became like two dogs snarling
In the days I called you darling
And you spit your words out at me
I let you go free
Like we’re aching from our history
You and the mystery 
As ages pass us by
And we love but we don’t know why
And we fight and we try
But we can’t forgive the lie
And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted
And I just remember when we started
And how it is so different now
I still see you through the wind somehow

The Red Of Fire

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I actually haven’t lost my spark
Or my ability to make a mark
And it seems my visage has grown strained
Wearing a look so pained
From all the trials I’ve been through
All for the courage I lacked in you
As you exclaimed against your will
That love is nothing but a skill
And I soared into the roaring sun
All for fear of being come undone
That I feel in your presence blue
The red of fire I am to you

Life In Eden

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What if we’re living in Paradise
The green fields of our life
And he is tormented by the loss of Eden
And I was ardent in my believing
Til I met the moment in a night
And something did ignite 
Burned like a fuse towards dynamite 
Spinning ever closer to its own execution 
I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution 
Of what I mean to say
I’d rather just point the way
And have you follow where I go
But my steps shake as I move slow
Across the ground of the room
There is so much more than doom
In the space that we share
There is true love and care
I feel I must speak up to say
It’s more than a myth and okay
I get that you have your own perspective
But my view is true and objective 
Like a glass with no lens 
You only see through it when you don’t defend
Yourself from what you mean to be
You just open up for free
And find it echo in your bones
Away from the beat of earphones
And all the noise that fills the day
It’s not a game or a power play
But something that must be known
I pull the curtains back and it’s shown

Idealism

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Idealism has me loving him
Through the wings of a new song
And I’ve only felt
Sparsely that I belong
In and out between the fear
Catching hold of what I hold dear
In the hopes that it won’t leave
And it’s little that I don’t believe
Coz it all pulses in my throat
And are we post rote
Learning now
I sit upon the bough
Of a leaning tree
To watch the sunset fade in front of me
And think it’s much like a life
That doesn’t get to happen twice
Unless you’re into that sort of thing
A reincarnation into the skin that swim
In the great ocean
And I’ve always been emotion
Trying to calm down
But I walk on solid ground
As my heart beats in my chest
Trust in God and leave the rest

The Non Spectacular Nature Of Now

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The non spectacular nature of Now 
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old

Just A Private Grievance

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Is it just a private grievance
Always holding myself back
Because I see the wings of angels
Ready to attack
For all I’m lost and holding
Forever to the degree
It’s infinitesimal 
But it means the world to me
To see you reengage 
With the world that you know
I’d be waiting for you
I said it to you slow
So the mountains bate their breath
And everything in between 
Is like a summer in the winter
Or waking from the dream

Intensity

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I’m burning up like the flow of the river 
As all of life calls me to forgive her
Coz I can’t split in two just to spite my face
Or deny the regard of constant disgrace
And I was only a teen
But I saw through the cracks in the dream
Untoward a vast expanse
Where music makes the people dance
And I feel as though I’m on fire
Like I’ve been lit by something higher
But it always seems to come back to ground
Like I’m rooted in the sound
Of you saying goodbye
Then realizing what it means to die
As I sweated it out in the class
Then fell victim to what could not last
And I stirred on the floor as I heard her call
It was like I’d lost the wall
Separating me from creation
A moment stunned and then elation
You can call it enlightenment or waking up
Or just realizing all is love
Then I see you with your eyes downcast
And I try to forget the past
But the memory of the crush is ever fresh
And I’m still not there yet
At the part they say release
But I may just be at peace

Down Into The Midnight

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I feel myself sinking down into the midnight 
The absence of perfume, the absence of light
The dawn of knowing what you cannot say
The reluctant acceptance of what cannot stay
And I know in the storm there is a break of day
And when you trust in God it’ll all be okay
But sometimes the ocean is just too deep
And I try to catch a few moments of sleep
Before I awaken with a start
Like everything good it comes from the heart

The Thaw

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They’re selling an American Dream
But I’m walking on a moonbeam
As it guides my way home
And tells me I’m not alone
As I open out into the vast expanse
Perceive the space as the molecules dance
To make up the shape of me
The frame of what is memory
Held together by a subtle flaw
I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw

That Particles Are Things

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You’re burning up the atmosphere
Like the ozone layer is clear 
And fuck that bullshit, I spin the dial
And listen to you sincere
Coz the guy beside me loves me
And I love him too
But the worst of the weather
Means it is not you
And closing my eyes is all I can do
So that I won’t know
The places where I should not go
Though they call to me
An elephant graveyard or Eternity
Could you please give me a clue
You laugh and say the answer too!

Paper Trails

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Leaving a paper trail of tears behind me
I’m overwrought so never mind me 
As I build a new monument to all that’s fallen
I’m in the Deep South and they are drawling
As they curb all anticipation 
Can I watch your tv station
Just for a little while
I made you see, you made me smile
And all I can think of is torment
The indigenous people and where they went
Forced across rock and stone
Broken in their skin and bone
But with their Spirit true
I can still have faith in You
As all comes crashing like a wave
Is it sin to abdicate to save
And hold a hand
Is the shore more than sand
And if a rock is hewn to bits
Do you have space to sit with it
Or does its impermanent tone
Remind you what it’s like to be alone
Moving weight like old stone
I’d hold back but I’ve already shown
All of my stars to you
I’ll love you if you want me to

Rewriting The Rulebook

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She’s rewriting the rule book
Like I did with a school look
As I ran up and down the halls
Some are chasing dreams, I’m chasing walls 
To keep me safe and closeted in
But it takes a breath for the night to begin
And once it does you can’t go back
Obsessed with how they have all you lack
And she shines
But I’ve written that story a thousand times
As I begged to be let in
Then got caught in the full glare of a grin
That suddenly shone on me
Asked for my hand and my integrity
And I fell victim to
An obsession with the form of you
When the midnight calls my name
And I nonchalant all the same
Your absolutely sincere
Does intimacy mean more than near
Coz this close is comfortable 
Like we’re both being vulnerable 
And almost to touch
I gotta say I love you so much
Behind the folds of a page
This moment will never age

39000 Feet

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We’re up here at 39000 feet
Where the cold is warm as the elements meet
And make a force of nature new
If you don’t know I’m talking about you
As somewhere we swim inside the depth
And the best thing about Now is what is unmet
By the forest in kind of trees and of beers
And I lost myself in the years and years
Trying to find what can’t be described
All the while knowing I’m still alive
Coz I feel this heart beat through my skin
But there’s a part of me that’s deeper within
Than any skin and bone can mend
And death is simply not the end
Just a continuum of undefended peace
Or a moment of great release
As all of the sidewalks lead into one
Trust in God and in the Son

Own What’s Mine

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There was a panic at the disco when I walked in
And I threw my coke at the guy who flashed me a grin
And grabbed my ass
Without ever thinking to ask
Me for the time of day
Hey, bro it’s not okay
And I’m more than forests green
I’m much more than I may seem
And someday in the starshine
I will come to really own what’s mine

The Ocean And The Sky

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Settling into the ocean
I’m not afraid of the fear of motion
And everything is all commotion
It’s bliss to miss what they call devotion
And I’m always wiser when I’m drunk
Trying to sip my way out of a ship that’s sunk 
Trying to talk my way out of this funk
Without having to shake my junk 
And I know that’s kind of crass
To think you have to move your ass
To get any kind of attention
I’m growing but I dare not mention
What I have to do to be me
I will not sacrifice my dignity

Her Love

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Her love is tragedy
Like she could pageant me
And I can see the loss
The way she dots her t’s
And if I love her
It’s my disease
But she picks me up
Off from my knees
When I’ve been crying
For a season
Like this pain
Comes without any reason
And the doubt
Holds me together
She patches me up
Despite the weather

My Pain

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Rolling in the river like it’s a storm
It’s ice cold but it keeps me warm 
As I sigh at the advances of every guy
I’m solitary, lonely and I don’t know why
Coz everything seems like it’s out to get me
At least since the day that he met me
And I fired the summer with a new fuse
Lost love like I had the power to choose
And his breath comes in gasps as he’s staring at me
My love is true so I set him free
But he’s just in the wilderness I let him touch
Doesn’t know the depths of what I love so much
And the ocean is water but so is a tear
I count the time like trees do a year
It’s okay with me all of the time
But in secret silence I call you mine
As you stay away and I respect
What you haven’t come to terms with as of yet
The guilt, the hatred, the violent pain
You look up and it’s raining again
It’s all it can do til the cloud has passed
But the sky is still blue and it will always last

Sister Soul

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Ijust wanna protect her
And I’m so mad that he’d reject her
And ruin her starlit shine
It’s kind of like the light that used to be mine
And now she sings of a defeat, years ago
I close my eyes because I should not know
But I do
I still feel you
In the cobwebs of my mind
Kind of like a secret I’ve left behind 
And we tangled up our avenues 
I sing of heaven without you
And innocence lost
She paid the price but at what cost

Safe Haven

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The war in her heart spills over into mine
When I say I love you for the thousandth time
And you’re nothing more than fantasy
Dreams I make out of the fate you see
And you’re roving wild waters
And your chivalry escorts her
At least in my mind
As I look on from being left behind
It’s a sorry state
But I won’t give in to hate
As the wound it festers
And the court is filled with jesters
That make the music of the time
But that sound could never be mine
As I pull away from modern notions
Focusing on my emotions
Til they’re all I can see
But that’s not all there is of me
And dignity
Walks me to the door
As you say your love’s no more
And I agree
I look out but it’s wintery 
As I pull my jacket close
You look like you’ve seen a ghost
“You’re not gonna venture into that”
But I gave you a home, I won’t take it back
And he pulls my hand
Close to his soul that’s made of sand
As it pours on through
Was I wrong to trust in you
And he sighs
“I’ll take leave of our goodbyes”
And points me toward the flame
That is burning in the middle of his name
You can stay here
I say, okay, my dear

It’s Devastating

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The source of her love is effulgent flame
And it kills me that others don’t feel the same
As they hear her plaintive cry
And leave her in the rubble to die
But I grab her hand, pull her out of there
Wash the wounds, show her some care
Tell her about the mystery 
That lies within both you and me
And she starts to revive
Feeling the tremble of being alive
As she takes each breath 
Scared she can’t put her feet to the floor yet
In case it shakes
She looks at me through all her mistakes
And trusts and lets go and comes to be
All that she Is eternally

Wild Country

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Living here is wild country
I ran away so he couldn’t dump me
And the waves of irritation 
Are nothing to his tv station
As it plays the same old tune
The lightning struck me in the room
As I said my prayers
I tell no one coz who cares
About that kind of thing
It’s like I grew an angel wing
To help me fly
And I saw to what could not die
And I try
To smile and put me first
I’m better off but it’s the worst

Steal Away Home

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I think I would steal away home
To find the letters you wrote on stone
In tablet form with a stylus
The reams of literature can’t confine us
Coz we are a storm by the light of day
But in the night we are okay
As you put one finger on my pulse
And wait for the racing heart to lull
Into the birth of silent trust
The reams of gold that will not rust
Only gaze in steady charm
The love of God is safe from harm

Brotherhood Romance

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Nothing fits it’s shape any more
When you’re knocking on a closed door
Only to see it opens from the inside
All this time you’ve been alive
And never really known it
Like your true colours, never really shown it
Til the dye is running through
I got messed up in a dream of you
One without an adequate ending
And I quit the scene instead of unfriending
You where you stood out there
Didn’t want you to think I didn’t care
But I’ve got to run
Coz I love the sun
And how it turns my skin brown
I never lived for the town
But for the acres, fields of grass
Lying in the Everlast
Til the cows come home
I realise I’m not alone

Billionaires

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A billion billion stars in the night sky
Eight billion humans and we’re all afraid to die
And the circle of life, it goes round and round
You take your last breath then you don’t make a sound
As you’re returned to the place you have always been
Waking up to life now it has been a dream
But born again anew into something fresh 
Throw away your fears and all of your regrets
Leave them with the storm that is brewing by the coast
Be the one who means the very most
To everyone who looks to know if it was there
You’ve seen through the night, now you can’t fake a stare

Fleeting

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That fast feeling of fading when you’re twenty two
And everything is growing up around you
The flowers to rise, then wither and die
The sheets of sleet that just make you cry
As you’re facing outward into the rain
Must we go through this all over again
As the avenues merge into one route
And you take a shot at the kissing booth
But it’s all just so fleeting in transition
Like you’ve woken up out of a worn condition
And into the sky that always serene
To anchor in what you’ve always been

Black Holes and Daydreams

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There she goes out on a spin
I wonder will I end up with him
Coz the spiral galaxies can’t contain
Anything that is less than rain
And it all cascades from a cloud
When you speak do you do it out loud
And are you proud
Of all you’ve come to be
Do you really see
Or just threaten so
I ask because it’s somewhere I go
Sometimes
And all my rhymes
Can’t fill the awning gap in my soul
How do you find yourself in a black hole
Singular true
The point of eternity flowing from you

Lead With His Pain

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He lead with his pain
The king of I’m never doing that again
As he repeats henceforth 
And then is full of remorse 
But the moment is still as it passes
It’s about waking up from your lessons in classes
As you jot a note down
Then feel as if you’re gonna drown
In the ocean surrounding us all
And he seems weak though he never call
And the evenings are long though they’re not straight 
And I leave it up to God or fate
As I climb a tree at fifteen
Take snapshots of who I could’ve been
And time has passed in a caress
And I wear jeans under my dress
To go trudging through the muck
And I gotta say I always gave a fuck
About you, about them, about him, about us
The windowpane is cracked but the trust
Still rests in steady arms
So turn off your alarms
And rest back into the resident peace
I watched the war in me cease
I listened as the noise fell quiet
Though the streets may be a riot
With all the summer rain
I’ll take the truth without a name
As it’s hampered on
But you know it’s not gone
As long as my heart steady beats
And long after the tide retreats 
To leave a shore to smile
It’s forever in a long while
To go on singing your own tune
I feel them all in this room
As I touch my hand to my chest
It’s not only the dead who rest
As I let peace reign supreme
And get up from the couch as though from a dream

Narrow Arms

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I’ve got narrow arms
I’ve always been thin
And I’m so short
Beside him
But he makes me feel 
Ten stories high
And I’ll love him
Til the day I die 
Or longer and further 
If I may
But I want him 
To know, okay
Letting go 
Of the years I hid
Always holding out
For the highest bid
But something in
The way he smiled 
Had me walking
All these miles 
Back to the place
I started
The moment when
Faith imparted
Us with just
A moment to spare
And I can tell
When you’re not there
And when you are
Like a cosmic star
Does she realise
Just how far
This love will go
It’s forever
I hope you know
It threads the needle
So very fine
And is a step
Out of time
Into what
You can only call
The root 
Of it all
Grown in ground
Like steady soil
So, let go 
Of all your toil
And rest back into 
The arms of Heaven 
As secure as 
The number eleven

Careful Anonymity

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Careful anonymity is the name of the game
As I breathe through it like it’s all the same
And I protect what I see
But it draws upon eternity
To here and there and let the surge
As I feel the moment when I merge
With all that is or could be
You look at me, do you see I’m free
And yet held back by errant chains
That fall from the sky like rains
Everywhere to conspire 
Lift up what must take you higher 
Then soar into your own soul
Deeper than the waves that roll
Back where it is completely still
Beyond the realm of hate and will
But thundered prose knows the beat
And it walks itself with my two feet
To suddenly surprise the day
I’m fine, you know, is that okay?

In Another Life

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In another life 
We’d be a two by two
And I wouldn’t have lost in love
When I tried for you
And it’s all good
I’ll get by 
I’ll love again
I don’t need to try
It’s just you
Got under my skin
And I swore I’d never 
Be that way with him
But I let myself down
Badly, it seems
I kidded myself
Into the man of my dreams 
And I must have been such a joke
The tiger you casually poke
With a furnace roar in her soul
But unsteady as a newborn foal
Do you think you could give me a break
But you take and take and take
And I let it all go on the breeze
Please, get up off your knees
I’m not down to have you beg
Could you grow up instead
Coz we’re two equals by the door
And I found you on the shore
Washed up from a shipwreck
When you use the f word is it feck
Cause I’m looking at the deck
And it’s still slanted yet
Are you bootstrap’s child 
I’m still a little wild 
And roll with the ocean
You are all emotion

Gentle True

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Stephen’s words are gentle true
And I want to make the stars with you
As you gaze out from a constellation 
And I have to say my medication
Hasn’t prepared me for a moment like this
One where opposites kiss
Across a table
And you aren’t able 
To hold back the smile 
I catch you all the while
Laughing with your face lit up
And I guess you could call this love
Except for the fact
You don’t want me back
In that place again
The only good thing was the men
Who used to be good to me
In days I lost my liberty
To a staunch defender
It was enough to render
The articulation in my image
The town was talking, the whole village
Was effervescent with the notion
That I was caught in my emotion
And a subtle drawl 
Draped over me like a shawl
In winter time
Are you sublime 
Or just ocean, seas
You could call it a modern disease
To be brought low
Places where I dare not go
Or with a shudder
There with any other
And to be soothe with my music
It’s the path I walked but I didn’t choose it

Eternal Life

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death is really nothing but the passing of the torch
I spend years in contemplation on my front porch
All to find a map that maybe would decide
The route I am to take for the reason that’s inside
And it may be tomorrow or in forty years
Will the lake live on now that I’ve cried some tears 
In saltwater brine ever to explore
I get older as I age but I just love it more
As I fit into my skin each moment as it passes 
Like I used to listen to the teachers talk in classes
With rapt attention in case I might miss
Something of my destiny condensed into a list
And everything has rolled by, I find myself thirty two
It’s older that I’m getting though I’m younger than you
And everything will cease one day come it’s time
It’s not as if I can call forever mine
Except to note that in the Now
Everything is present somehow
An abundance of peace and adequate zen
Hands held together to utter Amen
That all may be as it always is
The Birth of the Eternal into what exists

Love Always

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The poetry knows how to spell your name
But I’m gonna keep it quiet, if it’s all the same
To you as our separate spheres
Collide into the absence of fear
And you love her deeply but is it true
And you know I’ve got my eyes on you
As you step across the room
Did I just know you too soon
And the weather changed and the tide went out
So sure that I’m full of doubt
And aching with the ages that are passing by
I know it was uncouth but I had to try
To make a spiral turn your head
I wish I was able to command you instead
But you’re so out of reach that I cannot touch
Even the air that surrounds what I love so much
So I leave it be and I let it go
It was just I wanted you to know
Before you made that step up the hill
I left it where it was but I always will
Smile at the sun that shines on you
I don’t mind if you want me to
Simply be serious with my tone
I’m always better when I’m alone
And desperate is not something I’ve ever known
But it’s got to rain for the grass to be grown
And I guess I came down in a shower of hail
And you can try your case and fail
But there’ll always be somewhere you can reside
You can take off that mask, you don’t need to hide
Only confide and breathe deep and breathe true
Love is always there for you

Pressure Towards Hedonism

.Reading time 1 minute.
There's a pressure towards hedonism
Throwing it all away
I've grown up with cocaine
In the news every day
And I can't match my shoes
With the pieces they sell
It seems to me 
Like it's going to hell
In a masquerade as truth
The loss of innocence and youth
And the trials, they go by in the crew
The media to pay its due
For selling what you cannot buy
I dunno, I had to try
To be the last one on the stoop
The breath of air, the fresh, recoup
And I'll never land where they're saying
Coz I'm still taken with praying
Each and every night to a God I love
I'm not sure if He is above
Or everywhere all around
Omnipotent as the sound
Of my own breathing 
And the needing 
Escapes into the air
Almost as if it wasn't there 
And I smile
At you across the fifteen mile
Between us both
You get the horse and we'll take the coach
Just to go up the hill
Your magnificence never will
Cease to amaze me
C'mon, baby, save me 
Or is this just an illusion
Fighting the tide of confusion
That weathers the land
The Irish say, it'll all be grand
Meaning okay
I still love you in that way
Even though you infuriate
And that date 
Was something to come by
Now it's all open sky
And I have to be grateful 
That you boxed the hateful 
As "I don't mean it really"
And I found something steal me 
Away into hallowed halls
Over bridges and brick walls
Into a peace that will never end
Do you think you could be my friend?

Steady Easy

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Life doesn't go steady easy
It plots and twists and turns 
The fire is really nothing 
Until there's something that it burns

Second Guess

.Reading time 2 minutes.
You’re in the past
But the feeling’s still present
I wonder if I could
Knock on your door guessing
Wondering 
If you’d let me in
And I would explain
Everything about him 
That it was momentary
A flash in the pan
But you are everything
That I am
And I’d pause and then say
Wait for you to reply
Hope we could be close 
Before we both die
Coz life is so brief
It’s barely a flicker
I ran after you
Your steps just got quicker
Til you slowed yourself down
To the sound of my voice
Say, I didn’t know
That there was a choice
And look at me 
In a sort of awe
I’m sorry I’m lovely
And kind of outlaw
And you take forever
Just to answer
Say, I took you for love 
Not a dancer 
And I beg you to listen
With the words that I say
It’s just I’ve never been heard
In quite that way
And the silence is deafening 
But so is the noise
And I’ve been all about men
And one of the boys
But you take time
To really know me
I give you space
As we walk so slowly 
Into a garden
That none suspect
I thought our love
And the whole thing was wrecked
But you say it’s not
And you press my pulse
Into my wrist
As the lightning dulls
The terrifying pain
Of being right here
And not knowing what
To say to you, my dear
But there is just an always
In between us it resides
And my heart’s the kind of thing
That simply abides
In the summer, in the winter
Trundling through the snow
I loved you so much
I let you go
But if you really
Want to be right here
Then I am waiting
For you, my dear
The doors unlocked
And you have a key
So no need to go
Second guessing me
No need to go drawing
A line in the sand
Just look into my eyes
And hold my hand
And feel my heart
Beating tremor
It’s just like you’ve
Found true love forever

Referring to the Past

.Reading time 1 minute.
Do I keep referring to the past
To find that which will outlast
The parting of the clouds in sky
And everybody knows that we all die
But it is mere surface tension
Or something I dare not mention
Lest they see the way I'm free
That I'm not hiding from Eternity
As each blade of grass sings the dawn
And it's only space that replaces what's gone
And you can find it if you look within
There is no definite form of Him
But something ineffable, it evades the touch
And I scream out "I love Him so much"
But no words can ever contain
What I speak aloud in vain
As I fail to ascertain
Exactly what I mean by rain 
In all the avenues and the shores
It is the Truth my heart adores


Photo by Azlan Baharudin on Unsplash.com

Iceberg Reality

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She’s like a sister to me
And there are waves in our history
And all we are
Shines brighter than any star
As I hold her close to my heart
In that place we’re never apart
And it’s scary, letting the truth sneak through
But I think I must let you know you
Are the diagrams I always draw
While waiting for the ice to thaw
The expanse that opens a sky
Of constellations that never lie
And map our lives so precise 
We never fight coz we are alright
With what we’ve been and what we do
You’ve got to know the storm in my story is you
As cold meets warm and sparks a fire
The light of electricity to conspire
To illuminate the dark of night
Are you okay coz I’m alright
I’m just sneaking sideways to see what you’re at
If you’ve got the genie, I’ve got the mat
And we can make the scene extra real
With the fabric of daydreams with which we deal
And there are moments that we steal
While waiting for the film to reel
And you have got these books written in your soul
I can see the weight of time getting old
With all that you’re not letting through
How is it I can see it better than you?
When you’re so informed when it comes to the spirit
And there’s been a call but did you hear it
If there’s something in your way will you clear it
Or just stay back and silently fear it
Coz all the tomorrows are brewing their own tea
And you have been the closest thing to me
That I could’ve ever known
I love you with the heart of true colours shown 
And in the midnights that read our book
Do you think this thing deserves a second look
To let go and be
I’m onto your iceberg reality

Resuming Communications

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I’ve finally realized I can talk to you again
When I gave up and they said, it’s just men
And I was banging my head against the wall
Coz we can’t communicate at all
And I’m screaming refrains out into the night
They look at me and wonder if I’m alright
Coz I’ve got you on my mind
But you weren’t so kind
And I vacated the premises
And you became a sort of nemesis 
I chased in my dreams
And we’re walking on hollow beams
As we cross the room, under the ceiling
You said no and it send me reeling
Out into the dark
And the park
Never looked so lonely 
And I was mourning for you only
As they dimmed the lights
Do we give up on our fights
As we storm the bastille
But how do you feel
When you lay your head down on a pillow
And I know I am weeping but it’s coz I’m a willow
It’s in my nature
And you left a crater
When you crashed to earth
I was grief stricken, more than hurt
Like I try to play even, I try to play calm
But you grabbed me by the arm
And wrote something there
I look in your eyes and I care
About our horizon
And you are something or so I’m surmising
As we drift apart
But still all heart
I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re well
But I love you still, let it go to hell
All my secrets spilled out on a screen
And you are the man I couldn’t even dream
You’re so perfect ensue
And what in the world do I mean to you
All the things we could do
Walk a mile in another’s shoe
Or sail a river down the stream
I know you’re the king but I am a queen
Of my own domain
Cry to the sky of making it rain
And plain
Are the words I speak to you
I want it back, if that’s okay, too
And you smile and my destiny dance
Do you think we could give love another chance
As it weaves between poles
Crafting the tapestry of our souls 
Into a new stance
I felt the waves ocean advance 
Into the shore
I can’t help but want you more

Stargazing

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m tired of looking at you through a window
All it means is outside, could you let me in though
And the house we built has ivy growing
Up walls and ways, now it’s showing 
And you’re inside 
I’m in the garden and I hide
From your eyes
And years and years of futile tries
Do you abide in place with her
Deny everything that we never were
As I let you go
What’s water to do but flow
Along the riverbed
I remember everything that you said
And climb
Up to a place that’s beyond the mind
And safe
Like a locked box or a briefcase
And midnight filters through the trees
I’m high as a kite and have no need
For your number dear
You sent me under fear
To grow with the weeds amongst the grass
As if forever wouldn’t last
The whole night through
And all I was professing was you
In your healing balm
I smile and you ring the alarm
Say she’s crazy here
But I’m only crazy for you, dear
As I let it go
The love lost and don’t you know
Down to the shore
Is less the guess that’s speaking more
To the wind
And he grinned
From within his cage
I’m all butterflies to his rage
And flutter up a storm
It was the moment hope was born

Notes To Myself

.Reading time 1 minute.
A message from the past when the future gets bad
I left notes to myself and you know that I am glad
That the mountains they shake with the weight of the earth
And life grows up from the soil of the dirt
And we are all living and we are all breathing 
There’s nothing but something we share in the needing
And the wind blows through the pipe with no beans 
And I’m just kicking it in my blue jeans
Making songs for the summer and odes to the snow
There is no place I travel that I cannot go
But to interrupt a diamond mine
I’m throwing away what used to shine
To be rooted in ground like an anchor so deep
And I don’t need to shake what I take in my sleep
Coz the ocean is pure and it is profound
I thank my lucky stars that something drowned
In the midst of the terror that seemed to reside
In the shackles of me that I used to hide
But a new dawn breaks across the grass
And forever is timeless to ever last
As unspoken is wordless to the decree
And peace is all that we’ll ever be

Diagrams

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I see diagrams unfold
When the splintered story’s told 
And Heaven can’t hold itself back
As I give up on attack
Just to hold light to the touch
The fabric of a dress I love so much
And it’s spread like a sea over the land
And I know you understand
Me when I just inflect
And say, baby, my head is wrecked
Could you make it better with a simple smile
I admired you a long while
As we just slow and converse
I’m sorry if I’m weak and you’re a little terse
As I put it all in verse
The days of darkness getting worse
But he shone like the sun into a season
Loved me deep without needing a reason
And I can feel the wind blow my hair
With the freedom of he being there
And he says, my love, it’s nothing at all
And for once I’m not talking to a wall
But open arms and a heart to match
Like olden days with roof of thatch
As we just settle into a rhythm
He’s looking for an answer, does he know it is him
As he plays a Beatles tune
I’m glad that you were in the room
Even if I was all alone
And you hit me up on my iphone
And I regale you with my tales
Though your courage never fails
I can feel you deep and true
In your hands my lands are new
And I don’t know what we’ll be
Coz we’re lacking a history
But the present moment just resounds
And your full of quiet sounds
As you muse and contemplate
What might have me in this state
But the day is born with new light
And, honey, I am alright
I’ve spent years in this snow
And I know you want to know
But there’s no place I cannot go
I speak the words extra slow
So you know what I’ve been meaning
Everyone seems to be dreaming
And I awoke one sudden morn
It was as though I’d been reborn
And everything was as it is
And my heart and soul is His
The one who struck me from the sky
Now the impermanence can never die
As the changeful is consonant 
And I don’t know what you want
Except to say I am okay
And you are my sunny day  
In the overcast I know
It just took some time for the love to show

Love’s Everywhere

.Reading time 1 minute.
I need to write in Morse code
Coz to tell our story would be an ode
And we’ve got leaves of times gone by
And you always promised me sky high
As I take your hand and we lift and soar
Into a future I can’t see anymore
Coz you’re ancient, you’re beautiful, you are all the trees
And an Angel of Mercy picked me up off my knees
So I could stand as the wind goes round
It spirals but I’m solid ground
And I dunno about ages, I dunno about time
But somewhere you will always be mine
In a storybook or on a page
I seem to write like a sage
In professions of what’s true
The slipping sands of me and you
Coz we are born to fade away
A moment of sun before the day
Closes into night like a cyclical thing
And every bird knows how to sing
The silence like it’s true and real
I thought you should know how I feel
So I put it in a letter, left it at your door
But I won’t bother you anymore
And you know where I am if you feel to reply
I’m always in the same space to fly
On the beauty that I own
Love’s everywhere, I’m not alone

Life Makes Love

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Life makes love
With the sky, with the sea
With the atoms that make up
The constellations of me
And the design 
Is its own making
It counts ever hair 
And each breath I’m taking
As I find a new way
To express the expanse
And it is as though
We’re all part of a dance
Living and moving 
Breathing and being
Looking through lenses 
And new ways of seeing
And if there ever 
Comes a midnight
Know in your heart
That you’ll be alright
Coz you made it this far
Through forests and trees
Through brambles and flowers
That blow in the breeze
And somehow, somewhere
Someone’s watching over you
If you see it in cinema
Well you’re looking for two

Swallowed Up By The Silence

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Swallowed up by the silence
I can feel the river rush
And in the warmth of the depth
I can feel infinity’s touch
And the waves they crash
And the storms come and go
The branch or the bough
The tree that you know
Will it hold the weight
Of all we’ve come to be
It takes a midnight
For the dawn to see
What it finally means
For the sun to cascade
I trust in the Lord 
Coz it’s me that he save