The light it struck me in the dark
And I had to give up playing the part
Of the hard done by fool
It happened one day in school
Where the Divine called my name
Pulled me away from all blame
Unto a new dawn
And all the pain was gone
All the suffering that could ever be
Is just an illusion that you seem to see
But we are free as a bird
From the story we never heard
If you love something, you let it go
That’s what I’m doing here, you know
As I let go of my grip on the infinite
I think I just might be alright
And concede to life that death is king
He will take everything
Every stone and every blade of grass
And doesn’t ever think to ask
But there’s something even time can’t steal
It’s in the domain of the real
It’s pure and it’s refined
And far beyond the old mind
That would tell you this is that
And have you running like an alley cat
Up walls and over bins
Years lost in the din
Yet something finds me in the Now
I don’t know quite how
But it pulls me up by my boots
And still I grow deeper roots
To fulfill my nourishment
I need no encouragement
To be the light that I am
I move in waves without a plan
Image Credit: eberhard grossgasteiger at Unsplash.com
The mystery of being
I can never know
Who it is that I am
And where I should go
So I walk on the stones
Laid in the water
To get across
Coz the other side caught her
And it’s got that feel
That loves to move
And there’s nothing there
That I can improve
And I can be certain
In the Great Unknown
I love the shore
And it’s where I am goin’
Where riverbeds
Meet ancient eyes
And I wheel away
My disguise
The one that keeps me
Safe and warm
But it is useless
In a storm
As the wind batters the coast
I’m in a cabin making toast
And the fire it roars
As my spirit soars
To hear the rain
Against the window pane
Knocking like some inane
Visitor from the plain
And will you
Ever visit this place again
It’s been so long
And I don’t know when
I’ll ever get to say your name
Coz, love, it isn’t the same
Were we just
Silhouettes in the starlight
As you console me
It’ll all be alright
But I know
You can’t reason away things like this
And if forever was only
Our first kiss
Then what is lying
Far down the road
All I can say
Is that it’s all that I knowed
The lights shone from the sky
Bright and in awe and I don’t know why
As the days rolled into weeks
And the weeks into years
And I get by on just hiding my tears
And the best part of me
Doesn’t say a thing
She is just ancient
And a bird on the wing
And if she could
Then she would sing
I loved and so
I gave up everything
Image Credit: Elen Laureano
The sound of Taylor Brewing up a storm The heat could keep The whole world warm As she sings To her own refrain Growing up And out of the pain Into something Afresh and anew I guess that I Believe in you
It's not that easy All this having to let you go I didn't think I'd have to do it, you know I thought we could Go on forever But now every endeavour Speaks of you As you go on with your life And ardent devotion over strife Seems to capture my days And there are so many ways To miss what we had And to regret What turned out bad Could you forgive If I live and let live And consent To being the presence Where heaven went
Is it worth all the time All this losing weight All the giving in And shedding hate Because time has come For our true Self To be revealed As nothing else Than that we've Been searching for Knock and the door Opens from the inside out I'm not the words That come from my mouth
Listening to Snow Patrol Rock the beat And Gary Lightbody Fast on his feet To an uproaring tumult Is this what it means to be adult Still listening to music in my room Then doing yoga via zoom Or on youtube Finding new seas That I traverse Like never be's
I write about no one And nothing agrees I am split level I've got my degrees And if you ask a question Who is to answer Love is the way And life is the dancer To a new song To a new word And it's like the best Sound you've ever heard But this poem's just a tribute It's not the real thing You know it when You give up on this fling That you've been caught in That you've been living And God is peaceful He is forgiving So don't walk away From all you own Just listen to your heart As true colours are shown As light and love Break through and bask All you ever have to do Is ask
Someday I'll be a wife But I woke up in the night To discover it isn't to be And there's this emptiness surrounding me And it moves And it breathes And it gives me What I need As I ache And pilfer dreams They're not really True it seems Image Credit: Samuel Ferrara on Unsplash.com
The weight of worldly wisdom Lies on me And there is something I used to be But the far distant shore Has pulled me in like a tide Now I'm three quarters half alive Learning to breathe in from my roots As this plant grows shoots Up into the open air I could've sworn that he was there Image Credit: Johann Siemens on Unsplash.com
It was like a new dawn The day the sun broke And I'd come apart Inside my own hope Building a home Out of tinder and wood I'd run with the wind But I'm not sure I could Be anything but still In the glen, in the field I gave up the game I gave in to yield And something in the forest Then was revealed It was like smoky chimneys Now the flavour is sealed As I wander pathways That lead through the trees And life is more Than what is believed Than what is restored To ardent love A devotion to Truth That shines from above
It's all I can do not to blame him And Lord, you know, I cannot tame him With my heart all made of fire And his way of raising it higher With the wind as it blows in And did we ever begin Trying to get closer Then further away You know I couldn't say All that I meant to you on the phone You're in the room and I am alone But bring me some water and flowers to dry I said okay with a tear in my eye And you, everlasting you Just smile As you hold my hand We were meant to be It wasn't planned And I laugh At your inanity Remember that time You just ran at me Down silky, silver snowy days And I've been with you in so many ways But still aloft I held your eyes at no cost Though my own benefit Be unharmed I wouldn't settle for any charms But love In twinkly starlit nights And you beside me and alright Oh love, what are we meant to do We're in a dream and I choose you Only to wake With sheets in my hand There's none of this that I had planned
I don't want to monetize you In case you lose your value You're riverbeds and open skies And i would never want to dull you Down into the grey refinity of age Where words upon words just write the page Into existence, then out again I could write about life, then love, then men But you, oh imperturbable you I could never capture you within the walls of this cage And you make the beast inside of me rage Against the machine that is holding it down You're an ocean and in it I drown Only to discover my mermaid nature If not now, can I save you for later?
The day it all dropped down by my side Is the day I truly came alive And there was nothing there Just empty air Nothing with the will to get by And I just basked in the vastness of the sky I wasn't big and I sure wasn't small Only aware of it all And perceiving Something that was Beyond believing And beyond reason in its perfect hue There's nothing there I have to do Only make waves to lap the shore And give in to worship all I adore And once again, once more I let go to open the door
The weather moves in its own way And, Lord knows, it wasn't meant to stay But be free flowing and in motion Like some kind of locomotion And all I can do is just agree Consent to It using me To achieve its own aim This life is free But it's not a game Not cheap to buy Or sell the ticket Neither calm Nor there to trick it But only abiding in one way I love you and that's what it says
There is thunder in my footsteps And rhythm in my feet I’m like the shore lapping Where the waters meet And every day’s a sigh And every week I utter The same old words Against the window shutter And the house it creaks and groans With every passing wind The pain in my bones A sign that I have sinned And winter knows my name It comes howling in Only to give way To let spring begin And summer has its sound And autumn its flavour And every moment’s like a taste That I give in to savour As every month rolls round To make another year As I let go of all the lies And am freed from the fear
I love you far and deeply And the wall curves so steeply It can't keep me out from you Because I know what you want to do As you walk me to the door And I couldn't want you more With my hand on the locket you gave me I didn't ask but would you save me All the trouble and all the time Be the best one of mine Because I have written a time or two But none of them is anything to you As you smile and you laugh And you just hang out in my gaff With my little sister playing games You were one of my five names And I didn't know there was a choice But I gave my love a voice As it sang to it's own refrain Can we promise not to cause each other pain But we know that there are hearts in this And it wasn't fake, our first kiss Out there on the track I thought there was a way back But in all I hid from you You were there, and I saw it too
I've always been a romantic And so dramatic, it's true But I could never Have dreamt up you Coz you're so distinguished So refined And you kinda stole All of my time With your genuine And your reflect I didn't see you coming Couldn't predict next But only hold Onto your sleeve You know you made Me believe And I'm a cynic And jaded too But it falls apart Around you Like the walls I built To hide myself You get right in Like no one else Like no one can Like no one does I'm defenceless And I call it love Coz there's no sign Of separation I stared you out At the train station And you ran You ran way But there's so much Still left to say And if you would Just hear me out You'd know what it is I'm about But all this empty Space won't do I've got to find me In front of you And if you could Would you erase the years I never meant to cost you Any tears Never meant to cause you Any strain But with things like this There's often pain And I would smile And hold your hand Tell you that I'll all be grand I'd tell you that My love is true And I wish the world Of the best for you
Can I use you You're good for my craft And I know I stalked you And I never asked And I know you've got alleys That I haven't walked And it's been an eon Since we have talked And I just daydream Yeah, I fantasize About you when you get That look in your eyes And we've got besties We've friends in common You're from LA And I'm from Roscommon So when you ask If we could be Okay, you know It's fine with me
The shame eats me It's dark inside And I can't live like this For the rest of our lives I have to be free To speak my mind It's not something I can just leave behind And love you I'll leave it It's not as if You'd ever believe it Even if I told you Even if I enunciate But I always just Get stuck in this state Where I can't not miss you But I can't be There for you Eternally Not when you leave me Alone at the gate And I bet you thought That I would wait And I guess you were right And I guess I'm okay And I guess that I love you I don't know what else to say
Is everything Cinematic these days As people walk Picture frames in ways As they walk Down the street It's cute That we meet On the edge of town At the end of days And it's everything Everybody says But what am I Supposed to do When I'm no more It all to you And the story tells Itself to me It says "hey babe, You're free But I don't feel That way no more I walking through The closed door But would you answer If I shouted out Can you read my lips Before my mouth Says something I Can't take back Didn't mean to be On the attack But somehow people Tell themselves You can leave it up On the shelves For later but It's never there And I know deep down You did care But what am I Supposed to do When it is No longer you No longer us Or what we could be I love you deeply So, I set you free
Everything falls away I have to let it go And it's not because I wanted to, you know I have to learn Just to move with the flow And the river already Knows where to go
Watching the tide lap the shore Could I have wished for anything more Than to be just as I am Anyway it's not as if I can Be anyone else There is only the one Self That we all are Growing and moving under the North Star
I'm feeling I'm falling I don't know where to And I guess I really Did say no to you But that was long ago And years behind And you must know That I've changed my mind And I know it's scary to think That we just met, then apart But I have to admit That you commanded my heart And that daily you play a tune That is my song to sing I told you the truth when I said You are my everything
What's love got to do with it? I wonder and pray and ask I never get an answer though Is it coz I'm not up to the task And my whole heart's been given I don't know if I'll get it back I just know it's overflowing And there's nothing there I lack And the feeling is so crystalline It could a diamond reflect A symbol of the Infinite In a string around my neck And could these three sages be Salvation do you think? I just know they're the ocean And in it I want to sink
I can feel her warmth From so far away It doesn't matter what you do It doesn't matter what you say And yes, I guess I'm walking that way I was born for the road And on it I stay Never getting lost In anything I'm a vision set free I'm a bird on the wing
I'm not doing it for the likes I'm doing it for the love And these words just flow through me As though sent from above And I can't say a thing About their creator Only that they Just radiate her And even when a song Plays its own tune It's not as though I Am the only one in the room And it connects threads And it weaves so fine It's like a tapestry That is just mine And I don't want to take credit Where no credit is due I do it for the love And this love's for you
I'm scared to go on the social In case I see your face You are so at home And I'm just out of place And I know you have your problems And I have mine too It's just I never thought I'd be the one Chasing after you And you give out this light It's like a diamond shine And I have spent an eon Just wishing you were mine And I know we've got these barriers Obstacles on every front And you may have said my name So I have to bear the brunt Of all that you've been talking to Of everyone I know And I didn't want to follow When you told me to go It's just I see these stars Shining everywhere And I have a dream where you and I Really do care But life is on the wall It has us on craic And now that we have gone that way There's really no turning back But tomorrow's always sunshine Don't trade it away Don't get lost in people And the things that they say And sometimes smile to sky And think of me right well I love you always I don't know if you can tell I don't know if you can see Strings on my guitar Each chord plays its own refrain About exactly what you are And I could only write the Truth As it spreads out its wings I just drop the chains And my heart it sings As you sideways look at me Forever dilettante I have to say I'm happy And you get what you want
Is deep within the only way through And I am still in love with you Even though it won't work out And my feelings are just something that I shout And you are miles and time away Distance between us and the fray And is this just a dream I make I see the truth and I wake
Are the stars a reflection Of what we are And is within Just as far To go As way out there It's a way of seeing I just thought I'd share
Living in the light of love It comes upon me like a white dove And the Holy Spirit bequeaths its gifts Without you ever asking for it And I made my Confirmation It was with a kind of elation As I was conferred with the blessings of God So much more by love than by the rod
I've got a nickname And it should be proof That I do not live my life aloof But streak in hair And fabric that would dare To set alight And be the fire To burn by night To light the way Of all the wanderers who stay On the beaten track Now there is no way to turn back On my side once more In grace I do adore The reflection of your face I'm seeing you every place I go or roam and for a moment You were home But I guess I see I have gone astray And must refind the way By the light of love Descended on me like a white dove Or fire and tongues What it is to be young
Why do I still love you It should be through And over and done But you're still the one I hitch my wagon to In the dark And the light without you Is bare and stark And everytime I hear your name Something inside me starts As the cobwebs are pulled apart By effortless hands And the slipping sands Of time mean nothing now Though as for what the space allow I cannot say Only you were the light of day A little too soon I visualise you in my room Talking to me or looking that way And to God I still pray That you're okay And I stay At the centre of circle or wheel Of the heart that you steal Everytime you smile at me And, Lord, you will always be Like a tower to be seen I think you were the answer to a dream
I will sing aloud And let my voice be spoken to the crowd No more dark silence here But a chasm that's held dear To emptiness expand In miles I hadn't planned To have to walk But it's all talk Til I open out the way Then everything I say Is hitting the mark And the spark Has become a flame That sets fire to my name And be reborn Like a phoenix rising from ashes warm And the storm Goes quiet once more Everything I do adore
The creative impulse Eats me up You could call it A kind of love But it's relentless It knows no way To be easy On me today The creative fire The divine spark Knows how To tear me apart
A wasted desert city In an island of storm And I was only tryin' To keep myself warm But I've journeyed miles Away from home And it is with loneliness That I roam For you were a tower You were complete And I'm always falling down At your feet But you pick me up With my cryin' eyes See through layers Of my disguise And it's ancient And ever new And you're saying I mean the world to you
Eternity and Infinity Time and space And I'm stepping out Of the human race And the draw it pulls But I resist I want to do more Than merely exist And your candlelight is pure But I want the sun Want to do more Than just be someone And everywhere I go And each place I turn I feel the chasm grow And the fire burn But it's not for you And it isn't for me I don't know why it's there I'll have to just see And you walked my way And our arms brushed But I know better Than to be rushed So I take my time In staking you out Before I let loose What I am about And you run away Like I thought you would And I am still standing Alone in the wood
I acquiesce to the power Of a higher hand It uses me in ways I don't understand It moves me here And then to go I follow But I just don't know Who it is I'm going to be There is a path And it's leading me To blaze anew Through the fog To lead with love And not the rod To point the way In the dark Be headlights Or a holy spark Be afresh Be anew Be myself Just for you
How can I be devoted to someone Looking through a windowpane It is ardent, it is true But is it all in vain Because he doesn't believe A single word I'm saying So all my tears come down Falling like the rain And he has a girl So how do I compete When I'm a mess of hair Falling at his feet It's just that he makes me Feel so damn complete And I cannot deny The cuteness when we meet And is it all a movie scene Do I play the damsel in distress And is he the hero To save me and the rest And could you call this anything But a fair request I was dancing in the storm In my favourite dress And where do we go from here Is it a nothing that we are Am I Victoria And not the fallen star I just know that he has Every piece of my heart Held within a frame Where they once were apart And is this all nonsense I'm scribbling on a page I was close to crying And he was full of rage But, oh, the image of you It could stand for an age When you're talking to me I am not afraid And I cannot find the answer Nor can I write it out It seemed you played a song That is what I'm about And I cannot not hear When you veritably shout And all the words are Just spilling from my mouth And does it matter what they all think Does it matter what they say Because I really don't think This feeling's going away And I wished I had asked you Years ago to stay And not degenerate Into a child's play So who am I to you now Am I anything at all Because I've been calling for you For eons down the hall And each and everytime I meet with a brick wall Just before I go Freefalling through it all And we have friends in common Is it just a Facebook scene Am I Katy Perry And you the teenage dream And are all the cobwebs Not what they may seem You stun me like a laser Coming through on a moonbeam And if it all is worthless And left in the past Is there any room For me still to ask Can we be on friendly terms In the sun to bask Because I know within That this is built to last And if I'm really crazy You know I was locked up Is there space to verbalise Just what I'm thinking of Is it against your wishes That I might call this love And bless it with the rain That falls from above
Do I have to let it all go Everything, everyone To radiate the light Of the Son And I've always loved Jesus He is my defender He's been there since Before I can remember And he picked me up When the going got tough Was the dry land When the seas got rough And I've changed so deeply And in so many ways But I'm still the same Or so He says And love is not antithetical To devotion When it is ardent and true And not all commotion And he has placed a man At the forefront of my gaze That I can share life with For the rest of my days And do I refuse Do I turn him down This ocean is not A place I want to drown
There's nothing I can say That explains what I mean The closest I can come to Is that life's a dream But that's even in the story It's not waking up I guess you could call it A kind of love But it's not static It's dynamic and moving Like clouds on the run That needs no improving And I want to say That you should trust yourself Don't be depending On anyone else Not even on me And the light I see In the depths of my heart Is where you'll always be Not hidden away But burning with fire All heat from the furnace That only gets higher
Am I wearing Malas to the Supreme Waking up Though I'm still in a dream And is it Grace All of the falling apart I can't deny That I've got heart And are my assumptions To the contrary unfounded Was it through open fields I bounded And I can feel it lift Here or there The tumbling structures That I wear And do we build God Or is he real And is realisation More than just what I feel
The lonely sound Of Lightbody's voice The soundscape of my life And I never did become a wife And was that just an ambition Or did it require my volition It's just that I've wandered miles and traversed seas Of all I never got to be's But love, oh love, has never left me Since the day that we met I don't know how you could think That I forget But your beautiful mind Is forever engrained It overcomes The way I've been trained And I'll sing this song And I'll toast to you Because you overcame What I wanted you to
Is it alright to be happy? Is it okay to be fine? Because I've spent years Just trying not to step out of line But the wellbeing is just there Like an ever abundant source And the people are all miserable How is it that I show no remorse For being so effortlessly good It was a gift from on high It just happened to me so suddenly I don't have a reason why
What's love got to do with it? I wonder and pray and ask I never get an answer though Is it coz I'm not up to the task And my whole heart's been given I don't know if I'll ever get it back I just know it's overflowing And there's nothing there I lack And the feeling is so crystalline It could a diamond reflect A symbol of the Infinite On a string around my neck And could these three sages be Salvation do you think? I just know they're the ocean And in it I want to sink
Out on the run Where it begun To catch my trail And without fail I blaze diamonds Into the Infinite And now it is All catching light
I'm finding it hard to fight the feeling of fear That I could lose all I hold dear And it is so crystal clear That I won't win the war this time It's fading into the light sublime As all is taken up in heaven's glance And I don't need a second chance To wonder if it's all okay Dawn is just the start of the day
The Poetry Book 