I disappear into the silence
And it is a form of violence
To let no one know 
That I am letting go 
Of my tenuous connection to reality 
For an inoculation from this insanity 
Everyone clicks like 
Meanwhile there is a spike 
In the suicides in the area and I just want to scream 
It’s the end of somebody’s dream 
And maybe all they needed was a hand to hold 
Or someone to have told 
Them that they’re worth it 
I wish they didn’t have to hurt, it 
Is so unfair 
Because I’ve been there 
It was in the mists, long ago 
But I know
I know 
And there’s just this pause
When you realise that all is lost 
And all the compassion in the world 
Couldn’t save the girl 
From her fate
I ate what was on my dinner plate
And they drove me away 
Storm after storm until I couldn’t say 
What was winter and what was just plain cold 
Life’s a bitch when you’re made of gold
And everyone craves your Midas touch 
I told the boy I love him so much 
But he just tells me to fuck off 
A few years before a common cough 
Could spark panic in the collective zone
I think I wrecked it on the phone 
When I tried to pour my heart’s blood
Onto a floor that was too good
To ever be a non stick pan 
I just wanted him to know what I am 
Meanwhile I’m sitting in the ward with Sarah 
And I care, ah 
Now she is shaking 
And all staff are just baking 
Their cakes in the oven 
So I stand up to their anti loving 
And go over and sit with her 
Put my arm around what we never were 
And tell her it’s okay
She tells me to go away 
But I stay 
And I feel it fall into the abyss 
And the dart shoots but it miss 
Her beautiful self 
I died so you could have someone else 
By your side when the times get rough 
Isn’t Jesus all about love
And psychosis may be a diagnosis 
But I ghosted that doctor who was too precocious 
For his own wealth 
And he can’t categorise my mental health 
In a trail of ink 
And the man threw the sink 
Out of its cage 
And I rage 
As we’re baking bread 
I would stay just to free you from your head
And you write in your diary 
But its a new earth and I’m firey 
But I won’t burn down 
Not while there’s still people in this town 
Got to get them out 
So I let God have my mouth 
To utter the Word 
I let it be and let it be heard