50 Year Stand

We could have a fifty year stand
And I could live with holding your hand
But I could never be bound to profess
That I’m anything more than this minidress
And what I’m meaning to confess
Is that I reach for you in my distress
But I don’t see forever in your eyes
Because, you know, everybody dies
And I lost him at seventeen
When I wasn’t even in the dream
Just walking back from lunch
Ignoring that petty hunch
That had you sidelines and sideways
I don’t care what anybody says
Anymore coz they’re all liars
And I’ve set one too many fires
Under who I’m meant to be
I’ve grown up but still don’t see
And the diagrams all refract
The way you can’t get people back
Once you’ve lost your hold on them
If I could would I live it again?
Just to feel the same old pain
If you walk on grass do you curse the rain
That made it green and fresh
It’s been years but I don’t forget

Central Park

Is it too long left unspoken
I say, man, I’m only joking
But I’m serious as death can be
I loved you so I set you free
But I spend every moment wishing you were here
I love you so much, my dear
And I every time I fail to catch
I leave the door on the latch
Just in case you’ll walk in
And I make up stories of me and him
To keep me warm in the grey dark
And I just walked around Central Park
Wondering what was there to give
If there’s a life I can let live
But somehow moments in the stunning
And I’m just running, running
Away from this pain that caved inside
Is there a reason why I hide
From all I thought I knew
It all revolves around you

Ending My Enmity

I’m ending the fight I have with the stars
Running through fields like I’m chasing cars
And the sound of you is on the breeze
Like a younger me the tree frees
As I’m walking through the columns and rows
Letting go of the loss of anything goes
And finding my steadfast in the sight
Of everything in the firelight

Destiny

I've got a destiny
I can feel it in my bones
And it has something to do 
With saving people's homes
With finding a diagram
That will fit the screen
I have to make reality
Out of the thing I dream 
And the stories I tell 
Myself quietly at night
There has to be a way
To make the world alright
To cause and effect
And point out the tune
And I am not alone
When I'm sitting in my room
When I'm sitting by myself
To ponder life as real 
There has to be more
Than the way we cut the deal

This Winter

The feeling of panic

Knarls in my stomach

Maybe this is too much to be

Maybe there’s so much yet to see

But the aching roars

And the spirit soars

To become an avalanche

Of my own making

And I count every one

Of the breaths I’m taking

In case I misplace one

Amidst the snow

The winter has gone on

For so long, you know

Small Wonder

There are some things you cannot deny
Like a love that will never die
Like honesty and what is right within
You cracked my exoskeleton
Thin into a little strands
That broke apart into your hands
And smiling as you realised
You held it all in the tears you cried
That could never be wrong or crossing the line
I think you and I will be just fine
As we make a bloodless, solemn pact
That we will always come back
To this place we share and each other
I love you, darling, my soul brother
As we’re held together by more than thread
You show your fragility instead
Of the angry exterior wall
Of strength and impressions fall
As I realise that you are him
I’ll never have to look again

LightSaber

There’s a sadness in our laughter
And I can’t make the smile crack my eyes
There’s a pain underneath the surface
And it all feels like lies
Like the truth we cannot grasp
And I want to walk away
But we are now so seldom
Something makes me stay
And all of your excitement
Seems in direct contravention
To the lives that we have lived
And the things we do not mention
But, in truth, I do not blame you
That you kicked off from the shore
It just hurt to know
You don’t love me anymore

Titanic

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An emotion that rises from the bowl of my heart
Blue round the edges, midnight from the start
It grows up like waves and encircles me whole
Submerged by its weight in an ocean of coal
In a river titanic that’s growing in size
Bearing down quick and destroying my lies
More hell than heaven, harbinger of doom
The death of us all coming in soon
Fading in a moment, all the people I love
The strength of this sunk like a dove
Close my eyes, my pupils turn in
To meet dark with dark and see what it brings
I can’t bear anymore to watch people leave
My heart shredded up as it hangs on my sleeve
No words of kindness, no enveloping hugs
Stems a current that burgeons out plugs
Any attempts that I make fall flat on their face
As I hold back air like I’m losing a race
Futility complete as I reflect my own eyes
To feel it all fall the point of my life

I’m not of this place, could not be my home
When I was born to love those that are gone
True to the feeling that beats in my soul
Feel it on my lips as it swallows me whole
Drop into sunshine, drop away from the tears
Know I’ve been alive for millions of years
Those not around are a dew drop away
Feel them touch my skin when I just let it lay
Closer in absence than they ever have been
A taste of a world that I’ve never seen

Photo Credit: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/206673070378676877/

Rain

It’s ok to fear the darkness, it’s something we all feel
And it may take some time for the scars to truly heal
And though they may torment you as you turn in bed at night
I have seen the stars and it will be alright
There is a forever where horizons never reach
And there is a together where you’re standing on the beach
And there is a demise to all the hate and pain
There is always sunlight just beyond the rain
So don’t hide your face my child as you lie there alone
There is a God of sorts and he will take you home
And he is not all thunder and all harrowing might
He is the thing inside that sets your heart alight

Skylight

I can’t take it when the weather changes
And the landscape rearranges
And the daylight that you thought you knew
Has been replaced by nighttime blue
When you have come to love the warm days
And the good times of relaxing laze
A change comes expected and forecast
But still sudden and meant to last
You miss the old but get on and make do
Spend all my time wishing and hoping for you