Tag: awakening

All For You

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She lies in bed
Coz she can’t get up
But it ain’t depression
It is love
And the dearth of a need
To move at all
What’s wrong, they say
But it’s a freefall
And there’s open air and space
The old guard gone without a trace
Coz I sigh
This is not goodbye
But a hello to a new realm
And they are all the same
With their witchy ways and locks
But he knows how to make the bed rock
With his sudden sigh
And am I wrong or is he a little shy
Around me
It confounds me
How they could eat up time
And rub a ring until it shine
Like a new pearl
I gave my heart
You gave me the world

The Obvious Within The Dream

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The pain is where the river flows
And I dunno, it’s like anything goes
As I grapple with the notion of sin
And all it was with him
Like forgiveness, unconditional 
So much more than ritual 
As I kneel before the altar
Bless myself with holy water 
And pray that it’s enough to say
I love you deeply in every way
Can you ever forgive my crime
And call yourself your almost mine
Coz I cannot cross the line in the sand
Just coz I want you to be my man
I cannot endeavor to futilely try
Because the truth is we all die
As I casually interrupt 
The story that you’re calling love
With my own flair of tigress’ brand
I’ve gotta admit I had it all planned
Every moment down to detail
Go shopping but avoid the retail
Therapy they buy and sell
To have a doctor say that I’m not well
And have a man stare in my eyes
In the land of empty tries
And I could hear screams in that place
Traumatized by all I laid waste
As I listened to somebody cry
Down the hall and I don’t know why
Could it be the vale of torment 
Or a place I almost went
As I lay the phone on the table
Get up if you think you’re able
But I cannot even manage a smile
Over the days I walked a mile
Back and forth to pace the floor
All criminals that I adore 
Suffering in a hall
Bounded by a door and wall
And they have to buzz you out and in
Only for Barry to flash a grin
Like all’s to hell in fabrication 
Another kind of education
In how to walk a tightrope line
If I did it at all I took my time
Steadying the beat of my heart
Trying to make pain into art
As someone, lying, contradicts
But her words are not stones and sticks 
To batter down a casual thought
Are you all that you have bought
Or do you just give way
Yield to the break of day
And find that there is somewhere peace
A moment when the noise cease
Only to point at the scream
The obvious within the dream 

Photo:https://pin.it/2IBlslX

The Foundation

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A permanent doubt in the foundation
It cracked at the onset of my education 
And I dressed myself each day
But something had gone away
And I try to function and be strong
But all I wondered is where I went wrong
To be so fragile and weak
A sensitive I cannot speak 
As I try to hold it all together
But you cannot ignore the weather
As it blows in a storm
At least the heat keeps you warm


Photo: https://pin.it/6j6CcPh

A Meandering Escapade

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I know people are saying I’m highly strung
And there’s all these celebrities dying young
And there was a time 27 seemed old
Now it’s with the story that’s already been told
And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps
There’s no telling what’s running off these maps
And it was in a moment I just collapse
Like the fire of a synapse
As it blazes down an avenue
Into the room it just walks through
And strikes me like a light from above
It’s is a kind of redemptive love
And it burned away what I couldn’t see
So I could live the destiny
Right there on the classroom floor
As green as the grass I adore
And they say it might have just been a fit
An epileptic, nothing to do with
The glory of the sky
Just the taste of what it is to die
As I wake up a new girl in the air
It was as though He had answered prayer
And finally it was there
A wisp of wind that told me to care
And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies
I remember how this always tries
To remind me of just what I am
And that everything is part of the plan
As we grow up into adult moves
Bodies that say what they need to prove
What they are at the shore
But I couldn’t have loved you more
And you look at me as though you suspect
That there might be trouble coming next
Because, God knows, your head is wrecked
And it’s everything that it affects
But I just bring the smoothest balm
To wait in the wings and stay calm
And show you what you mean to me
Now that the pain is history
And you are just a love I teach
I’m doing cartwheels on the beach
Now that I have your rapt attention
But there are days I dare not mention
When the tide went out and the water receded
It was as though you were all I needed
But I saw something in the sky
To reflect the blue of your eye
And how I know I’m not alone
When I hear your voice on the phone
And everything you mean to me
Comes flooding back like history
That you could mean the words you say
And that everything might be okay
As I finally give in to let the bay
Take care of me, come what may

Taking The Scene

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She made a run for the dash
A finish line of I want cash
And it was as though I was the bank
No one there you gotta thank
And she drew from me the ebb and the flow
Til I conceded to let her go
And it was not without reservation
But I’m not tuned to that tv station
And really sad could be a description 
But it wasn’t I who forced the eviction 
As she moved my hand to sign the ink
The sign on the wall said “think”
And I fell apart in the ruins of us
It was as though I couldn’t trust
Even my step to hold firm
And I know there are things to learn
But you had me in close by the soul
Til you told me that you don’t roll
With the punches like I do
And I have to
Accept that you 
Are distancing and space in between
What was summer is now just a dream
I had at fifteen
I let you go and leave the scene



Photo: Chad Greiter on Unsplash.com

Furiously Searching For Some Thing I Can’t Name

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I am the place I’m looking to get
And it’s just an illusion to say I’m not there yet
Coz I stand in my own pair of boots
Anchored like tree who has roots
Deep in the soil drawing up
Water and nutrients like they are love
And lead to me flourishing with leaves of green
Nothing isn’t all that it may seem
And I’m used like ink in the nib of a pen
I’ll just jot down, can I write it again
And Now comes to pass as always is
The magic is that I am His

One Moment For Granted

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We can’t take one moment for granted
Nothing’s guaranteed
Life ends in death
We rely on the blood we bleed
To keep the body going
I look out the window
And the sky is snowing
Everything lending itself to another
The rain is frozen
And I lost a brother
In the storm
The river flowed
I may have taken the less travelled road
But it wasn’t for the good of my health
And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth
Except an inner gratitude 
And a reliance on the dude
That runs the show
Is there something I should know
Or do I just apt predict
So worried that I make myself sick
And have to be revolved on medication
There’s no point lying about my tv station
And if I’m off them for long
I start to feel like I don’t belong
To even the human race at all
I drink it in at the waterfall
And run, simply run down the hall
Of the institution I became part of
Resident of guarded love
And I hate but I also care
Feel the torment start to tear
At the edifice I’ve built
I don’t know why but I wilt
Under the glare of a heavy sun
And I’m always looking for the one
Who might make my stars shine bright
But the blade became my kryptonite
As it etched in stone what my heart would write
Only to feel the pull of the tide
The breath that means I am alive
As I drag my body out of the morass
I waken up when I am in class
And revive to a certain degree
Ten years to know it’s not just me
Who feels this way
And there needs to be a conversation 
About what it means to stay
And guidance from the ground
About the people you always want around
Do you hear the triangle ping
I let go and give up everything

Free

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I’ve got these pair of wings
Behind a heart that sings
And it spreads out to occupy 
There’s a part of me that will never die
Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite 
Is it alright
If I speak of the moment great
When I outgrew the hate
But just for an instant and then recede
I tell the people but they don’t believe
In what I gotta say
Is it okay
If I tell you a story new
Of a room and vibrant blue
And I found myself on the floor
Drew my first breath and I adore
The world I’ve been born into
And it’s always been you
I wanted to tell
Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell 
And you’ve been by my side for an eon
But there’s nothing we seem to agree on
But the war we wage
Could you understand if I wrote a page
In testament to what you are
You’re more than a burning star
Coz you will never go out
And I will give leave to my mouth
To speak what I gotta say
I love you, is that okay 


Photo Credit: https://pin.it/6Sh0cnx

Strong

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Live strong
And let the beat hold the song
Up where there are no lies
From the mutant in disguise
And maya does it’s best to capture
But you have me in a state of rapture
Ringing bells from on high
And I am not afraid to die
Coz it’s just a veil that we pass through
Fr. P said that when we lost you
To a sudden and sharp
But we’re not alone in the dark
We’re held somewhere we can’t contemplate
And no one is locked out of that state
And I’ve been knocking on the door
But it was open and I adore
The freedom that has come to reign
Like I’ve been kissed by the pain
Til all that once held a stain
Washed away in sheets of rain
That just pour from the sky
The ground is nourished when clouds cry
So why should I fear my own tears
For it has been many years
In a silent solitary slumber
But the Divine is not going under
No matter how I bury my soul
Waves only know how to roll

Diesel Is Desire

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Diesel is desire
And if there’s a spark it’ll catch fire
And explode
I didn’t know the less travelled road
Was a trail to blaze
Oh, all the cities I raze
To the ground
Just to hear the sound
Of tomorrow’s bells
Will we all burn in hell
As we make hell on earth
Poison the soil we call dirt
Then throw it at each other
Coz we can’t grow from it, brother

Like You Do

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Photo by Burak The Weekender on Pexels.com
I envisioned the whole scene
It was like a fuckin dream 
Where I had the central role
And what's up for grabs is my soul 
As I ride the subway train
Or walk Kilglass in the rain
Somehow it's all the same 
I flash my metro card
And some guy helped me coz it was hard
To figure out as I traipse down the stairs
Wondering if anyone cares
And I know she does but she's got laws
It's winter and the summertime thaws
Out the vestibules of old sand
Pearls out of what was underhand
And I divide the spoils I've earned
But all my profit only burned
What was left of me
The remnants an effigy 
Of a spiral diagram I sketched
But the problem hit and I retched
And sought salvation in a clinic
It looks fine from the outside but once you're in it
You come to know that there are rules
That I can't ace like I did in school
So I sit in the music room
Abject to the sound of doom
Or wander down the hall
As the world explodes from it all
How do you say kunalini, one, two, three
But they don't listen to me

The Sway And I

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He interjects and it’s circumspect 
Coz how could I attenuate
Any of this love with hate
And sure he’s a nice man
But he only listens when he thinks you can
Find a way to follow the line
He’s wasting my space like he’s wasting my time
And I’ve gotta grow up and be
The writer of a new destiny
Don’t have time for this pity lark
And as I’m walking through the park
I feel one with the grass
If this is psychosis I hope it last
Coz you’ve got a label
But you cannot see
Over the rim of your spectacle 
As you look at me
And maybe a kundalini and the crown
Might be the reason why I drown
In a sea of ocean vast
The emptiness and fullness pass
Til I’m all or nothing but down for this
And I’m in love with someone I only kiss
Through the bars of Orion
I don’t know, it just feels like flying 
Through somewhere where gravity
Obeys the rules of destiny
And let’s me lift off from where I am
I just walk without a plan
And It leads me where It’s going
I look outside and the Sun is snowing

Percolate

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I let the water percolate
To pull the world out of this state
And do we give with our whole hearts
Or do we lead in fits and starts
I know coz I see it in you
But, damn, it’s not just us two
And there are those in other shoes
Who can’t get by without our dues
And just because we’re strong
Don’t mean we can’t put a foot wrong
And I know the sand by the water
I know the feeling of being daughter
But I’ve grown to realise
The permanence in temporary skies
And even rain and sun
Must give way to the One
The Eternal Sphere
It’s evidence is crystal clear
Just turn within
The Son of God and I am Him

Distanceless

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In The Dark

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I stumbled across the room
Toward my bedside table
I say pull yourself up
By your bootstraps if you’re able
But this loss is quenching
It burns every fuse
I get up to know
I’ve everything to lose
As we are feeble
Matchstick people
And we pray for salvation 
Under a steeple
But it does no good
(Or maybe it do)
All that I know
Is that I lost you
In the avenues of a house
With many rooms
You were seventy seven 
And He took you too soon
So I walk with a limp
Or something defective
I try to be brave
But my attention’s selective 
As I hope for deliverance
From the decree
That say time
And Death are tracking me
Down and I swim
But the moment paused
And I met him
As I threw back and laughed
With the full of my heart
And I gave it away
In full not in part
Now he lives his life
And I count the days
We have on a clock
We don’t get no replays
Except that it all happens now
I stir and wake myself up somehow
From the dream that had been a spool
It’s called enlightenment and it’s hella cool
As I dance round the school
In my old fashioned jeans
And we’re all queens
Of our own domain
I took a breath
And accepted the pain
Temporary as it may be
It’s life and it’s talking to me

A New Vista

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What used to seem so sure
Is now disappearing over the hill
Can change change me
Or do I swear it never will
As I hold onto who I used to be
But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see 
The ocean is not held in a span
And will I do what I can
To be a modern example of what is true
What’s possible for me and you
As we share a world unique
But I do not dare to speak 
My voice though it reverberate 
Around the hall as we equate
Together with just being there
I’ve learned from love and I do care
Though shapeless you see
Me in a way and integrity
Has me burning a fuse in my mind
To always be awesome and super kind
And fearless with courage to bear
The way the fabric tear
On this dream of us
I found true love and in it I trust

Hope

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You can’t stop the slow march of time
You can only reveal the effortless sublime 
And Obama sang for yes we can
But could the answer really be a man
Who could lead us all to peace
But it gets worse before the trouble cease
And we all clamber, fighting the tide
Did you notice you’re alive
Or are you so lost in the stream
That you don’t see beyond the edges of the dream
As it binds you with its swell 
So much so that you can’t tell
What is true or supposition
Til pain hits you with its ammunition 
And we have got to learn how to deal
With the fabric that Reality steal
To make into a dress or suit
And is Truth a just pursuit?

The Wilful Abandon

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The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane 
And if I lose is there something to gain
Coz I see you over there, from afar
You're radiant, a celestial star
And I just don't know what you are
But you raise the bar
On all that's yet to come
When you get older you realise that you're still young
On the verge of thirty three
Never realised old age would come to me
Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend 
There's a beginning, middle and end
To every story that you ever tell
But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well
Coz it's all that there is 
And I'm still His
As he moves the atoms in waves around
The nucleus with a doppler effect sound
And am I just trying to be smart
I made studying seem like an art
Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up 
On the institution I used to love 
But it brought me somewhere I've never been
Something I couldn't even think to dream
And I always thought I'd be a writer 
But I hate conflict so please don't fight her
And if there's something to say
Could you please utter it in a kind way
Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose
But I just don't want to lose
As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine
I let go of the life that's mine 
To be held in the expansive note
Of a God I can barely quote
Without referring to old wisdom
But I think light might be a prism
When you bend it to refract
I saw the truth, now I can't go back

Is Jeremy With Ya?

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Is Jeremy with ya
Are ya reading the news
It’s all I can do
Not to lie on the pews
Coz the sunshine is storming
To a degree
I wasn’t looking
When it struck me
And I fell from on high
With a thunderous jolt
Cascading oblivion
An electric volt
10,000 pulsing micro equations
I find truth on tv stations
As I flick the remote to and fro
I thought you would just know
If I let it resound
It’s like the chains don’t know they are bound
Until they fall to the clanging ground
With an unearthly shake
It was the first breath I knew how to take

The Spools Of Infinitesimal Thread

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I knock but there’s no answer
And I’ve done my time being a dancer
Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread
Into a daydream in my head
And I may be deluded, I may be wrong
But this love thing is so damn strong
As I feel it pulse in my chest
Weighing up who I love the best
But it flits around to varying beings
Changes with the landscape I’m seeing
An intimacy I cannot describe
I just thank God I’m alive
To experience all of this
It was Truth like a first kiss
As I wake up to what I am
And all that moves without a plan

As Terrain

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The monsters are man made
They live in the attic
They crackle like telephone 
Under the static 
They brew like a soup
Under the sink
Dare you to do 
Something crazy like think
And I lie in my bed
And the horrors maintain
There’s nothing lost
If there’s nothing to gain
If outside is inside
The window you touch
You learn to let go
Of what you love so much
And in winter the fire’s
Warming the hearth
But I’m still scared 
Of what hides in the dark
Under the moonlight
Of another season
Like the way I love you
Without reason
And it makes no sense
But the tide will crash
Against the stone
And turn all to ash
Like the waves of duty 
To abide
I see the truth
And I confide
It on paper
To the sky
What comes will go
What’s born will die
But what’s ever present
Will remain
Beyond the ocean
As terrain

Flash Flood

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You’re running in my blood
You’re running in my veins
And it’s like the man said
That I am strange
Coz I just can’t be awful to make a point
I’m only messing, don’t knock yourself out of joint 
In trying to be normal and to fit in
I come and go but it’s always him
I return back to in the midnight
Where there’s no need to ask if you’re alright
Coz you are and the stars shine from your sky
We’re together forever so there’s no goodbye
Waiting in the wings of a terrible dawn
When you wake up and realise that it’s all gone
Like the boy I loved when I was seventeen
But the wind escaped from a terrible dream
The one I roll in like the sea
When the current is demolishing me
Til all and sundry is broken and beaten
Like you have you’re cake but it will remain uneaten
And I never got to hold his hand
But the sight of him sure was grand
Til the brutal tide that won’t be surpassed
Came at me til I was harassed
Trying to get on with half an act
It’s like it was fucking awful and I can’t go back
To where I was before it began
And you become an also ran
Til I’m knocking my head against the wall
Coz I can find no silence in it all
But the peace it came and kissed my face
When I was an abject disgrace
When nothing could save me from defeat
I was run down and knocked off my feet
And I try to get back up and walk
It’s like telling the wind it has to talk
When it can only whisper nothings on the breeze
Do you know the feeling when your heart starts to seize
And you’ve got nothing but ragged breath
Saying to yourself there’s no regret
But just one that I ever let you go
And another that I never let him know
The true depths of feeling that pumps a course
My circuitry and the remorse

The Liberation

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Hiding part of myself
Had me holding onto mental health
As the only way to steady the ground
As it shakes to the sound
Of white noise and light
I’m one of the boys and I’m alright
As I take a sip of a drink 
Then throw the rest of it down the sink
Coz I want to keep my nerves
As something that serves
Me instead of fighting a war
Coz both sides lose what the winnings for 
As the turmoil draws you in
Ducks in a row like lines of sin
And the winter seems to last forever
But you haven’t seen the last of this endeavour 
As I grapple with the ghost that throws me down
I’m in the ring and out of town
As they all call my name 
I say goodbye to the chains of shame

The Monumental

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I’m exhausted fighting the tide
Oh what does it mean to be alive 
Is it treading water or surfing the waves
Is it falling down or being brave
Coz I cannot seem to find a story
When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me
As I question every facet of a different hue
It’s who I am not what I didn’t do
Living on the brink of a well worn facade
Diving deep beyond feeling bad
And finding the Heaven life has in store
You think this is it then it’s a bit more
And I don’t draw diagrams for fun
I’m all architecture and you’re the one
As we build and we break
But we own each and every breath that we take 
And every step that we walk
We must be integrity not mere talk
But the sun on the land
Or the good looking lad in a band
That caught my eye
Oh, I feel I could fly
But doubt my wings
It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things 
As he meets my stare
Holds himself like he’s really there
And I cannot ignore 
The unconditional that I implore
Not to leave me
And you wouldn’t believe me
If I told you the truth
The monumental and my youth

Shake And Wake

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You’re mysterious 
And the guys just call you Chris
And I have to adjust my vision for the time being
Because I’m not sure exactly what I’m seeing
As you softly ask me my name
And I’d love to do the same
But the ghost of winter left last evening
And I’ve given up on all my believing
And the night isn’t cold but it sure is dark
And I used to live right by the park
As I listened to JV McMorrow
That year I transcended the sorrow
And clicked my tongue to my own beat
I used to just drive down the street
With a bigger sense of life and purpose
Not chasing my tail like a dog in a circus
Anyway it’s been eons
But you cut through the neon
Back to where I love the feel
Of the men with which I deal
And you’ve got something so real
In the silence that I just steal
Before I hang up the phone
It’s good for five minutes to be alone
With a voice like yours down the line
I blush at the question and answer I’m fine
Coz I know this number is a hard one to call
But you smile, I can hear it through the air wall
And I wonder exactly who you are
Do you ever think time is measured by a star
As we orbit around what’s fixed in space 
Running the rivers like it is a race
But everything is just typed in notes
And I must admit that I love quotes
And what they bring to the table
If you’re sitting at one are you able
To be outside in the fields of yore
Is everything as before? 
Or are you something I’ve never seen
I hear his voice and shake out of the dream

A Bite Into The Blue

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Taking a bite into the blue
And it comes up the colour of you
As I dive into the ocean
And it’s all rhythmic motion
In the life I cannot live
Is it time to forgive
The darkness of my past
Who knew that this would last
So very long
Correct me if I’m wrong
But you loved that I love that song
As you curl up by my side
Say that I make you feel alive
And now it’s all gone away
What was it you didn’t say
Coz I’m dying to know
And I won’t leave it be so
Just tell me what you need to admit
I looked at you and I sit
Beside you surreptitiously 
Vulnerably confess to me
Like a secret you can’t bear to keep
I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep

In A Beautiful Dress

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Something happened to set the scene 
And wake me up from the dream
And it was all I could do not to exclaim
That you need sky for the clouds to rain
As I discovered a newfound glory
Something exists outside the story
And it’s living itself as me
It’s like the storm has been set free
To wage its unholy war
To show you what peace is for
And it’s broken me down to a fragment 
I’m still looking for where the person went
As it vacates the premises
I let go of the notion of nemesis 
As everything turns to a quiet state
Do we have to learn to hate
When we’ve been set free
I let the chains fall off of me

The Non Spectacular Nature Of Now

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The non spectacular nature of Now 
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old

The Great Calm

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Enough of your reign over this land
I was honest and faithful, you were underhand
And you always find ways to point out my flaws
Say what’s underneath when the ice thaws
And you gave me pause
A moment to think about a hidden clause
In all you perambulate
Find a way to get out of that state
And into another
You were never close to being a brother
To me
And I see
All the design done deleteriously
Is falling into my palm
You were the storm before the Great Calm

It’s Devastating

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The source of her love is effulgent flame
And it kills me that others don’t feel the same
As they hear her plaintive cry
And leave her in the rubble to die
But I grab her hand, pull her out of there
Wash the wounds, show her some care
Tell her about the mystery 
That lies within both you and me
And she starts to revive
Feeling the tremble of being alive
As she takes each breath 
Scared she can’t put her feet to the floor yet
In case it shakes
She looks at me through all her mistakes
And trusts and lets go and comes to be
All that she Is eternally

Steal Away Home

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I think I would steal away home
To find the letters you wrote on stone
In tablet form with a stylus
The reams of literature can’t confine us
Coz we are a storm by the light of day
But in the night we are okay
As you put one finger on my pulse
And wait for the racing heart to lull
Into the birth of silent trust
The reams of gold that will not rust
Only gaze in steady charm
The love of God is safe from harm

The Emotional Field

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Grief comes crashing on my soul
That I may never grow old
But be entrapped at this age
Like a candle wick burning sage
And all that might never come to pass
Is crystallized in the Everlast
That I just stumbled upon one morning
Found a time to cease the mourning
That seems to pour out from within
At least until I met him
And all the clouds were cleared from the sky
And I was not afraid to die
But humbled in the truest sense
To fall from Grace in the present tense
As I scratched at every amber
Held love close like a cliffhanger
Only to discover that the air
Is in each breath you take of prayer

Fleeting

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That fast feeling of fading when you’re twenty two
And everything is growing up around you
The flowers to rise, then wither and die
The sheets of sleet that just make you cry
As you’re facing outward into the rain
Must we go through this all over again
As the avenues merge into one route
And you take a shot at the kissing booth
But it’s all just so fleeting in transition
Like you’ve woken up out of a worn condition
And into the sky that always serene
To anchor in what you’ve always been

Back In Business

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Business and trust
It’s oil and water but I must
Find some way to emulsify
As I dream a vision of an inner sky
And it’s expansive and wide
Open and free
And it feels like they’re all
Relying on me
To stand up 
Strong in my boots
Let them know 
That this tree has roots
And has been
Organically grown
So they can trust the ground
In which the seeds were sown
And know that they’re
Eternity 
Unlimited
And free
And capable 
Of making the change
That is being called for
To rearrange
And be revealed
In consciousness 
No one should have to
Be in distress
No one should have to
Die of hunger
When there’s any one
Of a number
Of ways we can learn
To serve each other
This is for every
Sister and brother
Who need someone
To stop and say
We’ve got this covered
Okay?

Pictures Of You

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I just remember his eyes
I don’t know whether they’re green or blue
Except for that picture of you
That I saw on a screen miles away
Now you’re where I was that day
Somewhere in a big, big city
But lonely and that’s a pity
Coz we could be something, don’t you agree
But you only talk to a picture of me
And I ain’t making war
Coz, God knows, what for
And I don’t hate what you had to do
That you have someone walking with you
And it’ll never be what we were
But maybe it’s better and you stir
To match the moment of her
And she looks like she catches your glance
I bet she never asks you to dance
Coz you move like you’re in a trance
And I would take another chance
Out on the wind
Is it to have sinned
To want what isn’t yours to crave
A desire I try hard to save
From getting to the heart of me
And we’re apart but you see
I’ve got you buttoned on my shirt
It was never meant to hurt
But I can hear it in your voice
Do we have another choice?

Metaphysical

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This Feeling Within

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I’ve always lived with this panic I can barely contain
You can say what you want or give it a name
Call it anxiety or ocd
All I know is something’s following me 
And it’s there in the midnight, it’s there in the dawn
Sometimes it stays quiet so I think that it’s gone
But it always returns
And, my Lord, it burns
Like a furnace or a glowing ember
More so in a dark December 
You can called it depression or psychosis
Just a modern type of neurosis 
And they hit me up with pills and drugs
But it don’t match one of your hugs
For bringing the stillness and quiet in me
One moment with you and I’m set free
And I know I can’t always be craving
Like a street that walks with the absence of paving
Or when the song of a bird signals the sky
I’m lost in this moment and I don’t know why
Til one day amongst the trees
I saw something I could barely believe
It was akin to heavenly light
And it says you will be alright
So I start skipping with the joy
Then see it reflected in a boy
As he is just passing by
For a moment, love, and I don’t know why
Coz Hayley throws all her castles down
And some people dream of a beautiful gown
But all I want’s this moment now
After all my trekking I find myself somehow
Back in the same place that I started
With more of depth the wise imparted
And grieving over loss has left
The coast that used to know me best
To set sail for another land
Where everything is understand
And unmapped and unplanned
The safety of the surest sand
As it gathers between my toes
I walked this beach for years, God knows
And externalized reality
It is the taste of the salty sea
That reminds me where you are
I would have wished upon a star
If I’d have known that you exist
In my honesty, I persist
To see it all come right round
And silence is the truest sound
As it enunciates the field
The grass grows slow to know to yield
As the fabric bends in certain places
And is 99% open spaces
Where you can go running free
It’s all awake atomically 
It’s all vibrating in motion
A symbol for pure devotion
To the God that gave me life
Not just a man and his wife
But something surging in the air
I can feel its presence there 
Only to exacerbate 
The thing I feel that I hate
The storm that holds me by the toe
Then dips me in the rivers flow
Til I’m shouting let me go
But it knows better than I know
And asks more of me than I can refrain
From doing over once again
In certainty and acquiescence 
Shining forth from the essence
Of its incandescent light
It whispers; love, you’ll be alright

Love’s Everywhere

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I need to write in Morse code
Coz to tell our story would be an ode
And we’ve got leaves of times gone by
And you always promised me sky high
As I take your hand and we lift and soar
Into a future I can’t see anymore
Coz you’re ancient, you’re beautiful, you are all the trees
And an Angel of Mercy picked me up off my knees
So I could stand as the wind goes round
It spirals but I’m solid ground
And I dunno about ages, I dunno about time
But somewhere you will always be mine
In a storybook or on a page
I seem to write like a sage
In professions of what’s true
The slipping sands of me and you
Coz we are born to fade away
A moment of sun before the day
Closes into night like a cyclical thing
And every bird knows how to sing
The silence like it’s true and real
I thought you should know how I feel
So I put it in a letter, left it at your door
But I won’t bother you anymore
And you know where I am if you feel to reply
I’m always in the same space to fly
On the beauty that I own
Love’s everywhere, I’m not alone

Present Moment Movements

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I’ve no interest in travel
But I’d move Heaven and Earth for you
I’d span the oceans near and wide
Just so we could be close to
The great divide that keeps us apart
The diamond in your soul
And you may have grown, but I woulda known
If your waves suddenly started to roll
If the tide had started to beat
A steady rap on my door
I gaze into distances far and away
Always hoping for a little bit more
And you were young and beautiful
Now you’re craggy and grey
You used to love me
Now you drag me each day
As I try to build fortresses 
To what was
There’s an army storming gates
At the lakes of because
And who are you when you look in the mirror
Do you dine with a shirt and tie
And could you state or equivocate
What’s become just a really big lie
And dawn comes each morning
To shelter the night
In the ages we part just to ignite
The paper I’ve been setting up
How could you look at me and not call it love

The Impulse to Awaken

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The impulse to awaken
And I am stirred, not shaken
As I testify to the divine
It was a moment that was mine
When it struck me from above
It was a new kind of love
Redemption in a hue 
And it loves all of you 
As if you were its very own 
The colours in depth are shown 
To only hold the way you've grown
Like a tree to the sun
It is the many as the One
It is the forest on the breeze
There's nothing that you have to need
But trust alone as it unfolds
To be brave and be bold 
And be ancient as the times
It is beautiful as it shines
In light to refract
And you can't go back 
But step anew into the dawn 
The darkness of the night is gone

Stairwell

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All my life I've been standing on the stairs
No putting on graces, I'm not putting on airs
I'm not trying to be better than I've become
I'm just opening up and letting the One
Move through me like a river to sea
I don't know where I'm going or what I'll be
All I know is I feel the pull
And the longing start to dull
As it unfolds unto a new expanse
I watch the whole world start to dance
To the music of a perfect refrain
It's being lifted out of the pain
It is being called at the edge of the circle
On the rock we call Earth as it begins to hurtle
Through the density of time-space
And you can see through the dreams that you chase
As you find yourself back in the same old place
Believe and relive the burden you face

Love

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I love so much
I feel I will burst
This feeling courses
Through the very worst

Through all of the liking
And ticking the box
I find I am open
Without any locks

And it just moves its own way
In a flow, in a beat
And I find I am standing 
On my own two feet

As I build on foundations
Solid as a rock
Am I okay? 
Well, is the sun hot

Just like my heart
In rhythms it's own 
I may not be adult
But I am grown

Interdependency

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I'm building a home
Out of all that I've seen
And there are ways
To wake from the dream 

To give up the long fight
With yourself and the sky
We move and we walk
But we never know why

And life, it is changing
But it's always the same
You were born on this Earth
Without a name

To grow and to learn
To thrive and to be
Always yourself
Quintessentially free

The Christ

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https://open.spotify.com/track/5i2JGF65pHKSfMEjSMrBC3?si=5zbZax1WRja5ZgId1BxKEw

My Lord and Saviour
The light Supreme
The cracking sound
That wakes the dream
And I have laboured
In darkness too
In shadows and
Miles away from you
But you always come
And take my hand
Tell me softly
You understand
That life is trials
Adversity
But when you look
There will I be
And I went to the city
Hungry with life
Ambitions were
Just out of sight
And I reached my hand
But I never could
Catch hold of something
I call good
Til I’m back on my knees
Pleading to the sky
I saw beautiful
Shine from his eye
I saw commonplace
I saw unique
Felt silence that
No sound could speak
And my devotion is the answer
The steady beating tide
The heart inside my soul
That keeps the love alive
And I didn’t find Jesus in the pews
Or in all of my good deeds
I found him in the rain
And it’s all I’ll ever need

Purchase Order

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That was never what I wanted anyway
A purchase order to make you stay
A sacrifice to buy me time
On your arm or in your mind
And now comes the chorus of regular love
That pales in comparison to all of the above
That doesn’t make me sign away
A life inside the music box you play
But it is pale blue and pastel
Where you took it all and me as well
Into a chasm or ocean deep
Full of the secrets that we keep
Even now, so many miles from here
There’s a boundary line and we keep clear
From the rushing silver of an oncoming train
And the pounding pictures in our brain
That regurgitate long worn down facts
About loving someone who doesn’t love you back
That fit us both just at different times
And when I wanted you you weren’t mine
But bulletproof and cascading
The storm you’ve spent your life evading
As I see the corner of your eye
That doesn’t want to speak but dares me to try
Against your insolent up in arms
We both took walks in the surrounding farms
Down the alleyways of country lanes
Feeling out of place with peculiar pains
That tell me, tell me something’s missing
That its your face I should be kissing
The man I love, the only one
I was there when the world begun
With your hand slotted right into the ridge
Of my knuckle bones, that’s the way it is
From now until forever ends
Our destiny clashes where the line bends
And with collision force of love crossed stars
To lose it all when I lose my heart
Because now I’m sworn to another
Well I was all along and you’re still my brother
As we simile at the infraction
You gain ground to keep traction
As landslide goes your house and home
I know that you are all alone
Though the fire’s warm and crackles the hearth
No one answers when you call the dark
But hang up when you lift the phone
I know the feeling though it isn’t shown
So smile in that photograph you take
I’ll be here when you wake

Waterfall Drop

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I don’t want to be a refugee
Of the war that has changed me
And the silence in between the sounds
I am the mortar the pestle grounds
And I have faded away

Once upon a time I held the world
But that was back when I was a girl
And ran so free through the fields
Now I feel the way my body yields
To the passing of time and circumstance
I never asked to be part of this dance
But here am I

Now they say not too far away
Is a place where my head can lay
But they spend their days to kill and maim
Before they shift their weight and then the blame
And I wonder am I human at all
If this is how they follow the call
It is chasming inside me

And all I ask is you remember me
As the way I used to be
Not the shadow that haunts the grounds
Of a past life where freedom abounds
It is all taken by time

And all my fever is just fighting the tide
But hot blood doesn’t mean you’re alive
As I have learned to my chagrin
But I have something, I want to let you in
You can count me with the dead

And all your motives just fall away
When you realise it cannot stay
Persuasion does not alter the ground
Because I have heard a sweeter sound
And move toward the light

So goodbye to all at the hearth
To tell the truth I prefer the dark
Than your tales of truth and lies
I am no longer bound by those ties
Something has cut the chain

And never, never will I return
I just want to see the whole world burn
In the fire that consumes it all
I forsake it and I let it fall
Therein lies my peace

Inspired by “After All” by Dar Williams

The Glorious

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I want to be inspiring
Or beautiful
Or both
I don’t want to write the night
Anymore

Though I have written it well
As well as can be written
When darkness is your subject matter
As it turns to a golden sheen
In the morning light

But there is another way
Another turn of phrase
That lifts you up
To higher consciousness it seems
And rewards are your delight

And the marks that have been made
Filter away,
Pourously, as though they were never there
To the pure calm space within
That always holds its peace

I don’t want to write the world in vain
I want to write the glorious
Of undying rain
As it pours heavy from the sky
On me

Practical Payment

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I suck the soul out of anyone who gets too close
They come near and back off like they’ve seen a ghost
Cause I have an emptiness that terrifies
And I can see the vacuum reflect in their eyes
I try to be cautious, keep a distance in between
But now and then I slip up and they see what I mean
Cause I sleep on sidewalks and profess love to the stars
And I don’t respect the steel of prison bars
Or the dust and ash you build into hovels
I will not be as one who grovels
But for all its apparant obviousness, it seems to come as a surprise
When it hits you that everybody dies
And in that oasis held in my still
I have been touched by something that never will
And can’t go back to what was before
And believe what I don’t anymore
As I drive away both friends and foes
The attraction expands and the chasm grows
And I can’t stop the obliteration that filters through the night
I just don’t want to lose you alright
But innocence cannot protect itself
I don’t think I am like anybody else
Where love is just a word you bargain into a deal
If you step into my sphere I will surreptitiously  steal
All the fragments until you’re nothing but bone
And when its done I will leave you alone
And hope my hands paid out what they owe
But whatever you promise I know you will go
So for your own sake please caution your step
Cause I am a darkness that’s not finished yet
And mouth to mouth resuscitation will only leave you gasping for air
Until you realise what just isn’t there
I will fall to the ground and beg for your absolution
But you’re hard of heart to my execution
And punish the payment I gave with my soul
To scratch the surface where I left a hole
As you revolve in bitterness for
What I couldn’t bend to anymore

Not All It Seems

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Silence hangs in the air like a stifling curse
As I pray to the gods that it not get any worse
Cause this world it is full of chancers and cheats
But you are the reason that my heart beats
And all of the machinations of a powerful system
Convinces us we’re just the world in which we’re existing
And people will pay to have you give up on them
And then say that you’ve counselled them to live again
All the while they balance on a precipice spire
And beg that it not extend any higher
While their shadows they fall like feet on the earth
And know if they go down then it’s sure gonna hurt
So you make do with the concoctions
You use as insurance in the allotments
That you have obtained to grow your own farm
You forget about freedom, it’ll just do you harm
And I watch as they all spin round like clockwork
To the beat of a rhythms that is stop jerk
And automatic pilot their whole lives
With a few intercepts from one who survives
Or the beauty of love as it strikes them home
And just for a minute their minds are blown
And stutter and stop for infinitesimal seconds
Before they’re again drawn back into a world that reckons
That what can’t be controlled is a danger to life
It’s no wonder they take time to look at me twice
As the spellbound is broken beneath my gaze
And I’m not like a mouse who is stuck in a maze
And the mystery pulls me back into the unknown
I wonder when they will see that the match was thrown
Not lost by degrees but by design
By the shape of a hand much higher than mine
So you look at me and find a label to use
But all definition just means that you lose
Your natural discernment to right the wrong
To have nothing at all is where I belong

The Reminder

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You look at me with that hypnotic stare
Is there a real person under there
And you poison the paradise that ventures my soul
Was it just a dream that I could be whole
When we are both halves of the same coin
Let man not part what God thought to join
And in the rivers of death and of misery
I want all the pain brought back to me
Because each slice is a reminder of us
And the bridge that we built in stone walls of trust
So turn to your new life if that’s what you deign
But just to let you know, my love will remain