It was a long, long road 
With no end 
And all you need to realise 
Is that you are not the road 
Nor the one travelling it 
You are that which is aware 
Of the road and the travelling itself 
You are the one
Who sees the picture 
Whether good or bad 
Light or dark 
We are One

The emptiness fills up my room
A hollow no words or space can consume
I wait on the edge as it moves to my side
Nowhere to go and nowhere to hide
I think of my future and its a monstrous black hole
My past is like tar, the same shade as coal
My present, right now, is just standing still
Not pushed by time as its folding my will
I can’t play games or run races real fast
No enthusiasm lifts, the joy doesn’t last
Yet I’m dancing jigs in circles on the floor
Talking to people or holding a door
The small things in life are taking their toll
Showing a school where I want to enrol
I can’t understand the path that it weaves
Except it’s my home and it never leaves
So I’m broken and bent to multiplicitious shapes
As God builds an army of blue suits and red capes
I see it in their faces as they smile on their way
How light hits their eyes and emblazons the day 

And I worry each night that I might be alone
The only one drifting as I’m sunk like a stone
But it doesn’t seem real or possible to be
That everyone else isn’t just like me
The fear in their faces as they look out in loss
And I know in an instant we all pay the cost
When God lights a fire he blazes it strong
No way I could be the only one wrong
Especially him when I think of his way
He’s cut loose and freedom that sees me today
I want to cry out for some guidance from him
But he’s terrified too as he hides with his grin

Punch down posideans opening up at our knees
We buckle and break like wisps on the breeze
Fall into this place where all is so calm
Resting our hearts in the Lord’s open palm
Other days too he rises up like a knife
I’m cut into pieces and fear for my life
As he stalks and stares and everything’s seen
Beautiful boy punctures holes in my dream
Like the sky storm at night that moves like the sea
The fabric of somewhere that eats up at me
And I know I am safe though I tremble and shake
Bow down to him and just let him take
I wonder aloud what this could possibly be
Know in my soul, its God’s plan for me
I want to go together if we are to begin
His hand in mine, soft skin on skin
Draw down the acid, the venom’s sucked out
As we both come to learn what we’re really about

Am I just academic 
Is that what I am to you 
Am I just a theory 
That will never come true 
Am I just a game 
That we love to play 
But when it comes down to it
Its not going away

I was so bitter and so undecided 
I'm better than that now 
Or is that just arrogance 
I haven't learned to allow 
I look at all the hurt 
And I see a damaged girl 
In the centre of it all 
In a heavenly swirl 
I see me lashing out 
In words and treble tones 
Looking for absolution 
In a world of groans 
But you can't find it here
My sweet petalled child 
You'll never find through war 
What is free and wild 
You'll never find through hurt 
The place that you can't touch 
And it is not a weakness 
To love someone that much 

You seem to emanate an unearthly kind of beauty 
That is beyond description 
It has the flavour of unconditional love 
And the colour white
The years pass by in a blink of the eye
And yet nothing changes
That eternal essence is still the same
And our bodies may age 
But we never will 
For we are the ageless 
Encased in a temporary form 
And all it takes is just that realisation 
And we are free

I love you for the truth you make me see 
And all my lies fall away 
In your presence
And I feel something akin to peace 
Or maybe it is peace itself 
Come to make known to me a place of rest 
I love who I am with you 
You bring out all of the colours inside of me 
And I see more vividly because of you 
But you are not for me 
Or so you say 
You are a passing gift 
That will stay forever 
Inside of my heart

I understand her and that's the point of the matter 
Despite our coming and going and the storms that batter 
I can feel her inside of my heart and my soul 
There's a place in us both that'll never grow old 
And though we may fight in the ethereal plain 
None of its real and its all in vain 
The closest I've known, she's a soulmate and friend 
And the oceans of us are letters to send  
So we're young and we're old, we're new and we're not 
We're always together no matter the shot

What good is a life if its not lived for truth 
What good is power, money or youth
It all lies in your willingness to be 
Lived for the Lord uncompromisingly 
And all the diversions that do distract
Are left to a script that you'll never enact 
And all of the suffering and the pain that ties 
Are undone by the power of that which never dies 
So take up your cross and follow the path 
Once you set forward you can never go back 
Nor would you want to ever give up 
That which you've found, the heavenly love
So let go and let be and let justice be done 
In all of this drama there is only One

Hesitation mars my actions
As I wonder is it okay
To do this or to do that
My barometer is gone 
And I can no longer tell 
What is relatively good
Or relatively bad 
All I know is the absolute 
And this imperious desire 
To share myself with the world
For better or worse

Its like a time capsule 
Looking at these words I've written on a page
Frozen moments in time 
I want to preserve 
And I wonder 
Would they be of any interest
Or of any good 
To anyone else 

I used to think love was measured in tears
In how much you cared when they were gone
But I was wrong
Love is immeasurable
And cannot be confined
By any man made tools
It is bound to the infinite
And forever is on its breath
There is nothing you can do
Not to feel it
Because your own life,
Your very life,
Is an expression of it
Love abounds
It is plentiful and free
And costs nothing
Nor does it diminish
By being shared
But grows exponentially
And yet is beyond even growth itself
Love is
That is all

Photo Credit: http://adamscythe.deviantart.com/art/Always-587228628

You're on a pedestal selling me this
But to tell you the truth I can't buy it
Dismals and hatreds and have to do thats 
While there's rivers of gold rising up at our backs
And put down pullovers designed to entrance
And force down decisions, give lie to the dance
This family you're raising, this world of your own 
You're peddling them hearts that are built out of stone
But this is our place and here we will grow 
Resurface the Earth and let freedom flow
And the devils and demons you've raised from their graves 
Will face us and fall, we're not to be slaves
Childlike holders of this place that we have 
To live it and love it and walk down its path 
Our footsteps just like the stones on the ground 
Whole with the fullness of the life that abounds
A pinprick that narrows right down to a point 
We are the world, that's how we're joined.

"It does not matter"
That is what she said 
And I'm trying to figure out
Does it matter to me 
Cause I really don't think it does 
All of your past, all of your history, your life
Is just that, 
A story 
And is nothing compared to the magnificent presence 
Of you 
Standing here 
Before me

You run from me so fast
Its almost like a game
I would call you back 
But I never knew your name 
And you tell me all these stories 
Of prose and lies and truth 
You are the definition 
Of a misspent youth 
And why do I decide 
Not to walk your way 
Cause having me on a string 
Is just not okay 
And all the weather closes
Back in on us two 
All I have to say 
Is forever I'll love you

Photo Credit: http://adamscythe.deviantart.com/art/Leaving-With-Grace-577385286

The days these days 
Seem to roll into the night
In a torrent of storm and rain 
There is so much beauty in the water
As it falls from the sky
But it brings devastation with it too
As lands are covered 
In a blanket of it 
Heavy and thick
And impossibly strong 
Who knows when it will abate

I forgot to remember it won't always be this way
And the darkness is just light that hasn't learned to stay
I forgot that there's a time when my home is otherwise
As a wealth of warmth and wisdom dawn upon my lies
I forgot to be lain down is the path I'm walking now
Worry fills my veins as the poison spreads throughout 
I forgot returned to sender is the way it turns around 
As meaning fills my soul and leaves me with no doubt
I sense a puddle here and a chasm calling there 
As I'm pulled to my destiny by firelight and flair 
It opens like the sea and a horizon calls my name 
To bring me to the place of change where I can feel the flame 
It has taken me so long to give my heart the lead
Fear and imperfections lie underfoot my steed
I forgot that this will end and something's to be seen 
To understand my words and revolutionise my dream

I miss you, can't you hear me sing 
I would give you everything 
You're far away and I can't see 
How you could be nothing to me 
I want to patch up all your wounds 
The worst of heaven slowly looms
Over my head like a world of weight 
What happened to all the hate

Here it goes, and here I come
I've warred with the world and I am done
Its all dogmas, its all lines
Not bursting free, all undefined
I wasted time waiting for just right
But no mentor comes, and no white knight
I won't walk beneath days of steel 
Bow my head and be made to kneel 

Today I walk, I walk away
Whatever holds me let it fray
To unleash myself upon the sky
Be myself and let me fly 
A passion burns to sing aloud
A heartbeat thuds to wake the crowd
I am dying to unfurl my power
To seep it in and feel me tower 

So to the blue with my words and voice
It is now and I have a choice
I am more than what they make of me 
Its time to soar and let them see 
Out of hiding with my fire inside 
It is golden and vastness deep and wide 
So take a guitar and pour out my song
Take a pen and right the wrong 

But intentions don't talk, actions do 
Have the strength, live what is true

I've never been so sure and I've never been so scared
I'm learning to trust in something where I'm totally unprepared
I know you're just a picture and a memory in my head
Its just you light my heart up with your fiery soul thread
I see you in my sleep when I lay me down to rest
And although you are long gone, somehow you never left
I think of all the times when I thought of you before
Just there to hug me softly when I never needed it more
And now my legs are strong as I stand from my wheelchair
I stumble and I fall but am picked up by everywhere
I can see your door as a lump rises in my throat
Fear and fascination leave me linger at your moat
I tapped a little knock and you let the drawbridge down 
Do I walk across it now or do I run back into town? 
I'm testing out the water, gauging boards of strength
But the time will come when faith walks across its length
Putting my life in your hands and hoping I don't drown
But you're worth whatever I risk even if all of me goes down

I want to find the Truth
Though I know it can't be found
Through seeking
It is not an object
That I can attain

I want to come into the pure bliss of Being
That is my desire 
I want to run in fields of gold 
Until all my wanting is gone 
And only beauty remains

Our secret conversations paint the dead of night
Whether silent moon bound talks or songs whispering twilight
I can hear your soul whether you’re near or far away
In the quiet of the dark or calm moments of the day
I can almost hear your heartbeat and hope that you hear mine
It seems you do, like all else, somehow they intertwine
You are a mystery to me and a bundle of joy
I can’t believe how in this life this girl met such a boy

You illuminate the pavements as they’re dancing with the stars
I see your face in rainbows as they break down all my bars
One touch to me and I am changed like elements colliding
Somehow what has come over me unwavering, abiding
Washes me like a wave and sweeps along my shore
Til I fall into your arms, I can’t resist it anymore
I don’t know how to be stone strong when I’m looking in your eyes
Can’t hold up in your sight as you strip away my lies
Fall into a hug, you catch me like a pillow
Curl around me, one and two, til I’m swaying like a willow

Whatever I could be for you would be my heart’s delight
As I sing out a melody that’s born from firelight
My hands, it seems, were made to hold and help you if I can
Tears wipe away the rivers as you tell me all your plans
I know I am an ocean and stretch out like the sea
It’s just that you’re the sky and reflect yourself in me
I know we’re uncontained, no borders hold us in
It’s just to love you as I am is freedom to my skin

I love you
These are the words I cannot bear to keep back 
They have been held within me for too long 
And I have longed to say them aloud and real 
Though I have pretended, many times, 
That they were untrue 
That I was indifferent
Its very easy not to commit yourself to someone
You just look away
And I am tired of that now
Tired of seeing faces staring back at me
Aghast

I want to hear you speak 
To speak to me 
I want to write words 
Words that you will hear
I want to be truthful 
And open 
And free
I want people to love me 
And feel at one with me 
That is not a tall order at all 
I want to be a unifying force
Not a divisive one 
I am willing to stand alone 
If that is the way it must be 
I am willing to stand free and unprotected 
In this vast place 
I want only to be true

I tremble with fear 
When I've said a new word
How will it be received 
Its likes have not been uttered
For millenia 
And never in this company
Never have I seen such a tale 
Am I to be executed 
For my crimes 
Against humanity
For daring to be different 
Or true
Will they turn on me 
And say all eyes ablaze 
That I do not deserve 
The paper it is written on 
Or will it resonate
And ring true 
For those 
Who hear it 

I am standing all alone 
In this wilderness
I am a voice who cries aloud
Hear me
It is too long to keep this all inside 
To long to bear the burden of such beauty 
Unshared

Is it but a dance
This whole great life
Is it but a play of form 
Moving in time with the rhythm 
Of the universe 
Do I really have any control 
Over anything 
Or is it just an illusion 
Brought about by my senses
As I try and try and try
But make no headway 
Against the great ocean

I saw those eyes
Those eyes that beamed serenity
In a picture staring back at me 
They said to let it all go 
All of the stress and worry 
It does not matter
Not in the long run 
Or even in the short run 
There is something much greater
Waiting for you 
Eternally and within 
Why don't you look 
Why don't you pay attention 
To the greatest of facts 
I am

I am redundant 
But is that all of me
Or is there more
More than the working man's wage 
More than this writing on a page 
There is a shore of great expanse 
Waiting inside 
A horizon that knows no bounds 
But stretches infinitely
All the way to the sun
And beyond 
And neither I nor you
Can be measured 
By what we do
But who we are 
Is something much vaster

You are ephemeral 
No matter how solid you seem
I reach out to take refuge 
And you fall away
As though you were never there 
But there is permanence
Hiding behind your lines 
The human spirit 
Is everlasting 
Beyond all measurement 
But it cannot be touched 
Only known 
From within

It is hidden in my words
And in the silent lines
Of the photographs I take 
Maybe you cannot see it
But I can
The hidden fear
The moment of nostalgia 
Where the beautiful 
In its fleetingness
Is almost unbearable
And the most of love 
Is recognised 
As temporary in its permanence

I want to protect the ones I love
But I don't know how
Time steals more and more of them every day
And I can't hold on
No matter how hard I try
It is stealing parts of me aswell 
Though I scarcely notice 
So young is the age of 25

But there is something not subject to decay
Some invisible essence within all of us
That lasts
Beyond the boundaries of the darkness
And the separation
That the veil drapes over us 
There is the eternal 
Within the form

The pure is endlessly true
And has an abundance of fragrance
It has the freedom of an uncut meadow
With wild flowers blossoming
Everywhere you look

I wish I was brave enough 
To speak my truth freely
And fairly to anyone and everyone
Instead I'm tied tight
Bound to the chains of my own fear 
Is there a reprieve? 
Is there any way to be brave
Other than to just be brave? 
To stand out
As awkwardly and brilliantly
As anyone can 
To risk derision and remarks
To risk reprove 
Just to speak aloud 
My own voice
To be free

There are agreements that are reached
When you become an adult
Agreements not to say something
Agreements to behave in a certain way
Whether it is natural to you or not 
Whether it is right in the moment or not 
The binds of these agreements are like coils round my body
They snare me til I can't move 
And my directions are directed 
By somebody else 

But there is freedom 
There is reality
The one all encompassing 
That knows no boundary 
And all limitations are a joke to it 
And just seeing you are caught 
Loosens the chains til they fall away 
Useless 
This is love 
The force that feeds the engine of creation

There are words I want to speak 
And yet something holds me back 
Fear or terror 
Of what I am not but could be 
In my worst nightmares
If I just let my heart go free
They say its your light that scares you the most
It is much easier to hide out 
In corners or crevices 
Than to proclaim my truth to the world 
It is much easier to skulk back alleys and hallways 
Growing certain of their ways 
Than to stand out in the magnificent open
Amid the trees and the brush 
And be unashamed 
Vulnerable 
And openhearted 
To the wide world

There is salvation 
Amidst all the crime 
And punishment 
There is beauty
There is heaven 
In this earthly realm 

You have an unspeakable beauty 
That I can never convey
When I'm talking to you 
It has the flavour of destiny 
Or time that's resting warm 
And I want to shout it from the rooftops
Or explain it to you in the most animated language 
But my words and gestures fall short 
As I try to capture the uncapturable 
All I can do is let it be 
And watch it unfold before me 
Gloriously

Its the kind of peace you can't talk about 
But its ever there 
Silent and listening 
Caring you could say
But utterly impartial 

Its the kind of love that takes an ocean to hold 
In depths that are unfathomable 
As you look out into the darkness of the universe
And realise its essence there 
Among the stars 

Its the kind of beauty that delves into your soul 
And comes out with the smell of cut grass 
And the colour of a butterfly
It is gentle and strong 
And unnameably serene

Who are you? 
The question baffles me
Because I can come up with no clear answer
You are an unending mystery
That I just vanish into 
The more I say about you 
The less I know 
But I know this much 
In your unquestionable familiarity 
You are a beautiful and benevolent presence in this universe
And I am drawn to you 
As the moon is drawn to the earth
By the irresistible force of gravity

I can't write about the absolute
Though it is there in everything I see 
Everything there is reflects it back at me 
In a brilliancy of colour
Or in muted tones 

But writing you, you see 
You are the most beautiful of them all 
And all my words fail 
And look pitiful on the page
Next to the infinite of you

But still I try
To delineate your shape 
Though it comes to little more 
Than faint etchings 
Black and white

I find it hard these days 
To keep a steady face
So knocked off my feet have I been 
And I have lost faith in what I believed in 
Found myself in a myriad of paths 
With no clear direction 
And I wonder "How can this be good?
How can this be grace?"
And I am learning that this
Even too
Is a gift from the universe 

The water wages war on the rocks by the shore
If you're looking for life could you wish for more 
Cause this day it seems to be endlessly strong 
And the sky has been blue for so very long 
Its all looking ancient through my eyes at least
And that horizon is a glorious feast 
The earth it is trembling with mountainous tones 
And I've realised a multitude of homes 
Cause everywhere I go I meet the same sight 
The endless of God beneath the sunlight 
And yes it is hard sometimes at the coast 
I can't hold in my hand the things I love the most 
But the pooling darkness as the night edges in 
Only convinces me more of what is within

I've known you in my hard times
You've been by my side
You've always been the one 
To keep hope alive
And I look at your face
And I see only light 
You are in my house 
With me tonight 
And the things that you say
Are delightful and true 
Everyone should know
The wonder of you

What does the weather bring me today?
There is no way of knowing 
I watch the clouds roll in and try to forecast 
The future
But it is impossible 
Even the people on the television get it wrong
Or those who tell the times from the leaves or trees 
They may have a degree of certainty
But miss the intricacies of a summer  
With its rain and impact 
Spread amongst the  sunshine

Cry away your happiness
Wave goodbye to yesterday
Spend a lifetime in the moment
Learn to forget the things you say

Waiting for an impossibility 
Trying to find your lost
Discovering depths that are irrelevant 
Ignoring the inevitable at a cost

Mumbled feelings that have no meaning
A maze that has no end
Cut through the hedges 
Sometimes not healing is your mend

Searching for your answer
When really you can't be solved 
A problem without a cause
A life stuck on pause

There are days that you can never quite catch
They just seem to get away from you
And the more you try the further they go 
The're the kind of days the sun sets in a blaze of glory
With the sky roaring red 
And purpled hues are shading in the clouds 
And you close your door with a hint of hesitation 
Because you want just one more look 
Of an everlasting heaven

Its the place from which the light emanates
The pure, perfect, pristine unknown
And nothing touches this place
No sadness, no grief
And I think it may be the end to all man made pain 
And are these just others words 
Listening in on from books and videos
Or are they my own
Born into a New Earth

I heard a woman say "Shame can't survive being spoken"
And I wonder if that's true
I wonder about the courage it takes to speak the truth
When the truth isn't what most people want to hear
Its what they fear
And quick fixes and bandages are all well and good
And needed too
But do they make for lasting healing
Because that is what I want
An end to the wound
The wound that is in the soul of humanity

Cause I have seen a place
A place called freedom 

I can hear the cries of those who need
What is it they need and why can't I fix it? 
Maybe a simple word would do 
But how do you choose it? 
How is anything chosen and how do you make anything better? 
Saying "I understand" when you really don't
Or you do but feeling it isn't the same as understanding
You just want words, you just want communication
Cause maybe nobody has talked to them that day
Or maybe they have, but in harsh words only
And this isn't about being a hero
Its just about being human and realising 
That we all go through it, one way or another
And maybe saying something is better than saying nothing

It was a scary time 
I can barely speak it 
The days planned out the night
And all extended, in an endless continuum, before me
Like a horse, who is running a race
Yet is still miles and miles from the finish line
And has no legs for it
So instead lays down on the cool, grassy ground
Eager for rest
And relaxation you could say
And the man atop shouts aloud
But it is no matter

The days in the daylight
Follow me around
Now that the darkness is done

It has had it's time 
And time and a half it was 
But now it has been and gone

And I can barely breathe
With excitement or trepidation
Or maybe both

The days in the daylight 
Sing to me
Like some forgotten dream of tomorrow

Like time, unused, just waiting to be seen
In the haze of a foggy dew 
Or the field after the grass is cut

The days of daylight spread out the landscape beneath me
In bright color or foggy pastels
Depending on the evening

They are home to me
A home that will always be
Where the land meets the lake