I gotta know If there’s light in this And we are One Though we’ve never kissed Just waited on the venture To pull something through Like I’m a needle and thread Weaving tapestry of you And you’re beautiful, all angels wings And when he talks, my heart, it sings And there are tomorrows and there are yesterdays But we’ve been together in so many ways All of them taut as a string Looking for love and what it could bring But the seasons change and time moves on By your side I always belong And is it just an approximation The screen on a tv station To make something appear, then away And I’m not lost for what people say But know this for true There’s a reason I’m beautiful around you
There were times I thought; Things like that only happen in America But now an Irish flag is flying On hills I don’t agree with Declaring the ruination of all that used to be And how it was empty and vapid Relentless in its desire to control all of us I look at the clock again It’s half past six But time is moving and never sticks To the floor like the day I heard And you could shoot every single bird I wouldn’t notice Coz you’re gone The only place that I belong Standing by your side Now I hear your name and I run and hide Because it brings up convulsions I cannot repair One minute you’re standing there The next air That I breathe in And even thoughts of him Can’t take away the ashes of my loneliness Written in biro like an address As I scribble my name I love you so I won’t be the same But are the hackles drawn on my wilderness That I would ever confess A taut string like grief And my belief Is to hide it from everyone Shine like I’m the fucking sun Collapsing in on itself A black hole to eat the life that is its wealth And welcome any stragglers into its dusky fold I’m getting old You can measure it by how you perceive the years They move so fast there’s no time for tears Coz the ebbing will flow And what came down must let go Of its hold on this misty night Is it okay if I am alright?
You can’t stop the slow march of time You can only reveal the effortless sublime And Obama sang for yes we can But could the answer really be a man Who could lead us all to peace But it gets worse before the trouble cease And we all clamber, fighting the tide Did you notice you’re alive Or are you so lost in the stream That you don’t see beyond the edges of the dream As it binds you with its swell So much so that you can’t tell What is true or supposition Til pain hits you with its ammunition And we have got to learn how to deal With the fabric that Reality steal To make into a dress or suit And is Truth a just pursuit?
I was walking through the leaves in a wilderness tone
When it hit me that I was already at home
And I looked in his eyes and I saw the Sun
He looked at me and saw the One
And the reflection mirrored itself to me
Dazzling along an infinity
As we march to the beat of time
I relinquish the dream where he is mine
To command and to own
It's been years but we've both grown
Up and out in separate ways
I love him a lot but he never stays
Always open to a new endeavor
I thought love was the only endeavor
But it seems that self realisation takes the place
Of the days I spent trying to save face
As I reveal myself to him
Find the snippet of a grin
That spreads across feigned innocence
I dunno if you're due for rent
But I'm out to buy
It's you and I don't know why
I write my own version of epicology
It's a word I made up to describe mythology
Of the personal self so cool
Oh, the awesome that I was in school
As I danced on a cloud nine
The minute He pierced through what was mine
To reveal the ever present source
And I'm filled with remorse
That I never seem to live up to
The identical that I saw in You
As we spend our time just having a laugh
As we melt like a wall that's not gonna last
And I can't contain you in a rhyme
Except that you were outside of time
A moment, free and then to bind
We lost love to the mind
As the shackles came back to say
We don't let people go that way
But I look up and the light
Is still shining on us, alright
And I don't need to let go
Of what is inherent to me, you know
And I don't know how to unfurl
The heart that creates the girl
As a modicum to understand
You were the truth I hadn't planned
Thought I could be the solitary queen
Til the sword lanced the dream
And birthed me into real life
I like you, is that alright?
Running like a colt through fields of grass
I found an eternal that will ever last
Or it found me
Lost in a mire of indignity
At fourteen
It was a crack in the facade of the dream
And the light got in
And it just happened to be shining on him
When we came across each other
A supersister and a soulbrother
To barely touch but to meet
The lines that parallel our feet
As we move them to and fro
Try to find meaning before we go
And I don't know where he is right now
Coz I stopped working the clock somehow
And he's cool with the brush of wisdom
My identity became a prison
I let go like the empty leaves
That blow from the trees
In autumn when it's time
And I try on calling you mine
As you take a step to the foreign shore
I can't help but love you more
As you reveal yourself to me
I realise that to be free
Is to have your arms locked like a vice
Around me for the first time, twice
The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane
And if I lose is there something to gain
Coz I see you over there, from afar
You're radiant, a celestial star
And I just don't know what you are
But you raise the bar
On all that's yet to come
When you get older you realise that you're still young
On the verge of thirty three
Never realised old age would come to me
Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend
There's a beginning, middle and end
To every story that you ever tell
But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well
Coz it's all that there is
And I'm still His
As he moves the atoms in waves around
The nucleus with a doppler effect sound
And am I just trying to be smart
I made studying seem like an art
Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up
On the institution I used to love
But it brought me somewhere I've never been
Something I couldn't even think to dream
And I always thought I'd be a writer
But I hate conflict so please don't fight her
And if there's something to say
Could you please utter it in a kind way
Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose
But I just don't want to lose
As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine
I let go of the life that's mine
To be held in the expansive note
Of a God I can barely quote
Without referring to old wisdom
But I think light might be a prism
When you bend it to refract
I saw the truth, now I can't go back
Money is the language Western culture speaks While in the East we wonder who eats As we clamber together a mountain of rocks And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks Do we really know where we’re going I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing Do I have a destiny to live up to Or am I just throwing shapes at you As I move in the room through the embrace of air The nothing that’s something and ever there As we all return to the Tao that gives birth To learn and live the lessons of hurt Of the pain that transforms Mere weather into thunderstorms
It was momentary Just a little hint of stardust As we danced to the silence of your heart And I realized we would never be apart That there’s something in your eyes It’s in the movies in disguise And I remember watching Yvaine Soar above the pain In that summer of 08 It was August and every breath that I take Informs me of something new And, honey, it was you
Now you’re far away And weaving in and out between Dancing in Some kind of dream And there are words I don’t utter But when you smile I melt like butter Into a puddle at your feet I’m still absorbed by the way a black hole will meet The light that moves to its own pulse And I must inquire does love repulse Opposite poles like two magnet shapes Did I fall in love or did I forsake
And we’re all at sea in our separate lives We do anything just to survive But I catch you catch hold of my hand Help me into a carriage I don’t understand As it takes me somewhere new There is scenery but it sings of you And the us we could be Or already are like water is free To flow through rather than under And I may have deleted your number But it’s just coz I’m defeated and going under The tidal weight of the ocean we are You caught my eye like a shooting star
Venerate the Goddess Get down on your knees Do anything I ask Or anything I please And I’ll give you the world A plethora of things Or a simple key Into the heart that sings So you can unlock The dial that keeps you closed A vault of solid steel Or concrete, God knows And I know the wealth Is not hidden behind It resides somewhere Beyond the mind And you can touch into The intimate fold Find something More precious than gold As you realise All you’ve come to be Don’t blame me now Just coz you see
The waking consciousness woke me up And it was the beginning of love The extension by degree Of the effervescent that is me And I seemed struck to the earth But it was a new birth A Realisation ever new Even as it passes through you Cleaning out the whole system Do I have to say I missed him Coz I feel like he’s still here And, Lord knows, I hold him dear
What if there is no right or wrong And the tree of life is just a song And the music plays to keep us secure Not waving oceans to endure As it all just comes apart We’re floating back to the start Where it all comes together And there’s no sign of Noah’s weather As we meet the end of days It’s just the start in many ways
There’s no way back now We’ve got to find a new way somehow To cut a swathe through the tide Really breathe while we’re alive And we may have realized That we’re all living under blue skies But we hide behind each tree we find Conceptualize it with the power of mind And search for a way to be secure But don’t you know we’re all born pure And I’m not trying to catch you out But don’t you think it’s good to doubt And question what you don’t understand The life of the free is never planned But an unfoldment in Universal degree I may be wrong but hey, that’s just me!
Living the life of a break up song And I’m like her, I can do no wrong Til I finally admit The problem is me And I thought I was Moses Parting the sea But I’m just a girl Who’s thirty two Learning to love And rely on You The God of forewarned understanding And I know my wishes can be demanding But I plead that He lets them be Bring change through the vehicle of me Let my hands be a messenger of love The descent of redemption from above As I acquiesce to His will I won’t know the answer until I live it and move my bones Give the many bread and homes
Is Jeremy with ya Are ya reading the news It’s all I can do Not to lie on the pews Coz the sunshine is storming To a degree I wasn’t looking When it struck me And I fell from on high With a thunderous jolt Cascading oblivion An electric volt 10,000 pulsing micro equations I find truth on tv stations As I flick the remote to and fro I thought you would just know If I let it resound It’s like the chains don’t know they are bound Until they fall to the clanging ground With an unearthly shake It was the first breath I knew how to take
I see myself standing on a stage Standing up for that which does not age And we all cascade like a waterfall Into the ocean to enthrall And I don’t know who I’m gonna be I just know the open sea Is pulsing within my veins It doesn’t go by the normal names Just something infinite You know you’ll be alright
Deep in disguise I wade through the water You somebody’s son I’m the moon’s daughter And I slip sideways Out of the scene You were the best part Of my dream And I watched you watch me You took my pic You grabbed the towel And the gear stick Shook in my hand Said goodbye to Sam You said he’ll be grand And I drove you home It was just the two of us All alone And you stopped to stare I stopped the car And met you there And I wonder if I’ll ever see You looking again like that at me As I shared on a screen Some kind of light show I’d tell you the truth If you want me to, you know All the love in my heart And you were a rouge kind of dark As you let the wilderness consume I watch you from across the room
I used to blaze a trail I was always on fire If you get the down low It’ll take you higher And I had a taste Of the Immaculate Heart Found something within me That will never depart Then I lost faith And all in ruins Went day drinking With howareya’doin’s Til I Hit the floor And at rock bottom There was a trapdoor That let me out Or let me in I sign my name In love with him And he sees me there Upon a hill Does destiny decide Or some higher will About whether or not We’re meant to be Til I found myself Down on one knee Professing all I can’t contain Like the clouds when it starts to rain And, aghast, he grips a chair “But I thought there was nothing there” Now I’m all at sea And must accept the calamity That follows my footsteps down the road I kissed a prince And found a toad And I’m laughing, laughing Coz there’s nothing wrong And he leads with the power of song Always to his beholden one And I wouldn’t wish them undone For any power in the world of man I smile but I don’t know how you can Let this be and let this go I just wanted you to know You were the soundtrack of my summer year And I’m gonna always hold you dear And visualize my own scene I’ll meet you somewhere, maybe when you dream In avenues and wonder spells It was lovely, our show and tell
I see the I Am in every pair of eyes Once you look there’s no disguise And I venerate the Holy One The ocean of which cannot be undone And the chains fall like shackles on the floor As I make way for what I adore The riverbeds flow toward the sea So it is with the Guru and me The spaciousness nothing can contain The sky beyond the rain The storm clouds far beneath The person that I used to be
I can hear murmurings Sweet whispers in my ears And I wait Until the smoke clears To really discern What is going on It’s been years Since I felt I belonged And someone’s gotta say it Call a spade a spade But you need both tree and sun To make the shade And I’m into realism But I’m also idealistic I don’t want this century To repeat the statistic Errors of a previous generation Am I getting above my station To say it’s gotta stop And I don’t wanna play bad cop But the letters on my tongue Are spilling ink And there’s nothing for the truth To do but sink In as we realise what we all do I am just the reflection of you
Am I trading on my innocence And the forest gets more dense As I try to discern That which simply doesn’t burn In the fires of time And would it be a glorious crime To admit the steady part of me That just will not let ok be And I traverse the hills The loss of all my aforementioned skills Til I’m kneeling by the shore The monument that I adore An empty ocean sea That is pumping the heart of me
The body is aging It passes through time As I try to capture What is mine But it eludes my grasp Like the finest sand Points me toward the shore So I understand And it’s fearless, it’s true It’s innocent pure It’s the one thing That you can be sure Not to fail you When the midnight rings And I can feel it When she sings Of love, of beauty Of something beyond And they had her down As a dumb blonde But she points the way She leads the charge Picks you up off the floor When times get hard And I can’t ignore The magnanimous effect She had upon me When the dream was wrecked And I pulled myself away From what I abhor Beyond the recognition Of what I was before And the signs desert me Though their pointings fable Tell me to get up If I’m able But another blow comes in From the west With the flavor of something I detest And I know, I know I should be serene And chasing a crown Only means you’re no queen
I put down my pen as I start to write I wonder will this pebble go down alright As I throw it out into the multiverse It something you just do, you can’t rehearse And I can feel the tremors and the rumbles The rock as the earth quakes and downwards it tumbles Into a sphere of non recompense I was stuck there for an eon in the present tense But it’s nothing I can’t leave for a good cup of tea See the guy in the club, wonder if he’s looking at me As I down another shot on my travail It’s the kind of purpose that can never fail As I live up to the archetype of sin When I’m in the room, just me and him And it really don’t matter what she say I’m all in with this thing, okay But I see doubt flit across your face As if I’m a demon you don’t dare to chase Into the folds of another chasm I look away coz I know she has him And there’s no point a syllable to spill It’s not like I have a void I want you to fill I’m all emptiness and a faraway shore The Goddess that is prone to adore The face and feet of a holy man I’ll wash them with my hair if you say that I can
Toying with the idea of letting Stephen know But he’s getting close so I’m letting Stephen go As he tumbles out the words like a cavalcade in my mind I keep wondering what I left behind And he’s got a girl and I don’t wanna trespass a sin I just feel like dancing when I talk with him And what’s going on is not what it appears I’m not laying all my life on you, dears I’m just testing the waters like a foot on the bridge Coz I’ve always been quintessentially his And he owns the motions I make through the air It was just a moment but we both were there To hold each other’s hand like a temporary greeting I’m so excited that we’re actually meeting For the first time again after so long Is the seat by your side where I belong?
I knock but there’s no answer And I’ve done my time being a dancer Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread Into a daydream in my head And I may be deluded, I may be wrong But this love thing is so damn strong As I feel it pulse in my chest Weighing up who I love the best But it flits around to varying beings Changes with the landscape I’m seeing An intimacy I cannot describe I just thank God I’m alive To experience all of this It was Truth like a first kiss As I wake up to what I am And all that moves without a plan
I don’t know if you’re watching here But I want you to know I love you, dear And I feel you close as the skin The arms, the legs, the body I’m walking in And you touched my soul more than I can announce I try the words but I can’t pronounce The monumental you mean to me, love Let me meet him again I ask God above
Remind them of their humanity Don’t let it switch off It’s not long living But all is not lost Coz there is a molten core At the heart of everyone Nuclear fusion Brighter than the sun And it burns irregardless Of the darkness you put yourself through Don’t deny All that is you And I know it Coz I’ve been through the night But in the midst of the storm The eye is alright And I trust in the value Of what makes us real Is it intuition Or the way that I feel That tells me there’s an end To a fighting soul The wave is the ocean Even if it has to roll And you’re still what you are Even in the confusion Wake up from dread And the delusion That we are separate From each other Walking the plains As sister and brother And opening a sky That will soothe with rain We don’t have to Go through this again And I’m a reporter On the front line I don’t think we can do this Another time
The monsters are man made They live in the attic They crackle like telephone Under the static They brew like a soup Under the sink Dare you to do Something crazy like think And I lie in my bed And the horrors maintain There’s nothing lost If there’s nothing to gain If outside is inside The window you touch You learn to let go Of what you love so much And in winter the fire’s Warming the hearth But I’m still scared Of what hides in the dark Under the moonlight Of another season Like the way I love you Without reason And it makes no sense But the tide will crash Against the stone And turn all to ash Like the waves of duty To abide I see the truth And I confide It on paper To the sky What comes will go What’s born will die But what’s ever present Will remain Beyond the ocean As terrain
I could be overestimating my appeal Like the man is gorgeous, he’s a steal It’s just I’ve got this gut intuition That I could be gunpowder to his ammunition And is it all attraction or is it something more I could see myself calling to his door And answering him when I pick up the phone Not have to spend every minute alone But he clasps my words like it’s my hands He’s spaciousness and he understands Though he may have made a blunder or two He’s got my number and I’m replying to you
I’m as see through as a pane of glass And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask What exactly is on your mind I left the world I left behind And grew up into walking shoes To hold my own and pay my dues In seasonal or in holiday stance And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance As you tic tac toe in front of me Mr. Awesome or so I see As you lean in close to meet my word And I wonder what it is you heard Coz it echoes against these cavern walls In holidays and free for all’s You knock on my door with your suit and tie Stand up for what can never die And I take your arm as we walk to the dance Is loving you a sort of chance Or risk I’m taking out on the pier Letting a man come near Close enough to break my heart By giving him a share or part Of what I’ve held in from the sky I’m not playing games, I don’t lie But I hold back because the fear Is great enough to kill me, dear And my heart It pounds in my chest As I forsake the rest To say I will and I do When I’m looking straight at you In eyes held tight at the altar The time is now though it gets shorter To see the mist advance with age Though I can’t run from a blank page That bids me just to tell the truth And it’s not so bad giving way to youth That is passing like a sea of storm You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm You are an immortal being Though these images that I’m seeing May make you want to run a mile Or, I dunno, maybe just smile And laugh and say isn’t that the way You look at me and I’m okay
I fight with my femininity It evokes love But I can’t tie myself To any of the above Only open my heart For peace to be shared Open my notebook To say that I cared And that I’m not In this quiet, tight space But dreaming of days When I touch your face Telling you all You mean to me Not closing the door So you can be free And I know that I have put out More than I take back And I have been hobbling Over what I lack But the sight of you Is like a comet true And I’m shaking just thinking Of what I would do If you were mine To have and to keep To wake up beside A good nights sleep And you’re kind and you’re awesome I’ve been keeping you away I look down at my feet Coz I don’t know what to say And you tell me I’m lovely And beautiful He left me empty Now I am full Of a joy that’s brimming Full of trust Can I come in, baby It’s a must And you look at me As if I defy The life I’m leading As some kind of lie But I just wanna be Myself again A woman in A world full of men Telling me how I should contain This heart of mine That’s broken with pain But shining with gold As I repair The parts of myself That knows you are there That knows there is kindness And there is truth More than monuments I’ve built to our youth And nobody knows Or can describe The feeling of loving Breath when you’re alive And I’m haunted by loss And the threat of death Keep living days Full of regret Coz I can’t control The passing of seasons Or people with pride And a bowl full of reasons And is it insincere To proclaim my devotion To the silence In all the commotion As I feel the movement Of a pin drop Signaling winter Or the moment to stop And take in an aside Of all we’re meant to be I didn’t know if you knew So I’m letting you see
You’re running in my blood You’re running in my veins And it’s like the man said That I am strange Coz I just can’t be awful to make a point I’m only messing, don’t knock yourself out of joint In trying to be normal and to fit in I come and go but it’s always him I return back to in the midnight Where there’s no need to ask if you’re alright Coz you are and the stars shine from your sky We’re together forever so there’s no goodbye Waiting in the wings of a terrible dawn When you wake up and realise that it’s all gone Like the boy I loved when I was seventeen But the wind escaped from a terrible dream The one I roll in like the sea When the current is demolishing me Til all and sundry is broken and beaten Like you have you’re cake but it will remain uneaten And I never got to hold his hand But the sight of him sure was grand Til the brutal tide that won’t be surpassed Came at me til I was harassed Trying to get on with half an act It’s like it was fucking awful and I can’t go back To where I was before it began And you become an also ran Til I’m knocking my head against the wall Coz I can find no silence in it all But the peace it came and kissed my face When I was an abject disgrace When nothing could save me from defeat I was run down and knocked off my feet And I try to get back up and walk It’s like telling the wind it has to talk When it can only whisper nothings on the breeze Do you know the feeling when your heart starts to seize And you’ve got nothing but ragged breath Saying to yourself there’s no regret But just one that I ever let you go And another that I never let him know The true depths of feeling that pumps a course My circuitry and the remorse
Here lies my truth, at least, so far I walk away but I leave the door ajar So you can come in if you need Don’t think that I can’t see you bleed Over there from afar I’d love to pick you up in my car So we could just go for a drive Revel in the being alive And you smile so truly I almost cave Fall in love with who I try to save As we walk the streets of Liverpool And you’re helluva cool And I could never understand Why you decide to drop my hand And let it all go to waste Do I get to see your face Again, not upon a screen But as real as you could ever dream Do I get to touch your skin And let you know what I am to him Coz we’re all flyers in the wind And is there anyone who hasn’t sinned In some great way or minor You speak the truth and underline her So that I know where to place my pen Forever begins all over again To the sound of Picturehouse You command the screen, I click the mouse But do you think that we could be Together in a way that’s free And I can’t deny the hold he has But is it just karma and all that jazz Is my soulmate someone, you My twin flame to fly back to Somewhere I thought I was But there’s no reason for a just cause Like the moment headlong too When I just fell into you And you laughing caught me there I can tell by the way you hold my stare That we are something for the age Not writing on a white blank page But laughter in the growing old Making memories the future’s told To all that we were back then You were the best, can we do it again?
Alvarez looks like you, you know And I’m thinking ‘bout you when I walk in the snow As I wonder where in the world you might be Looking out at the scene I think you see Coz you’re diamonds, you’re shining, you’re just like a star Oh, what can I ever say that you are Coz you looked at me like you think that I’m fly And will I meet you again while the sun’s still in the sky While we’re both still young or at least not old And my story of you will not be untold Coz you’re golden, you’re fire, you’re burning red And you seem to knock walls I’ve built in my head Monuments to an age old crime And I’m not convicted though I’ve done my time Trodding through a heavy fold You’re bought but baby you’re never sold
Yours is the name my heart spells out Though I walk in the valley of doubt To the music of the passing years The great adventure, the sea of tears That I shed like a single drop Of blood that is all I am not In the avenues and in the dark The shiver I get walking through the park In monuments and in tomes In the running away and the coming homes To find out what I’d been missing And the people I dream of kissing As they salute me from afar And I wonder at what you are To age but never fade away I write about you, is that okay? And is it too late to ask I loved the man in the iron mask That let it go for a moment or two And I swear the stars shine from you As you cast this glow, this heavenly sphere I whisper words when you come near In case you hear what I really mean I love you, babe, you are the dream
You’re the best of me No defense, just like I’m free As I stop you on the street It’s freezing but do you feel the heat As you’re stuck for something to say And I look in your eyes, is that okay And I see you pause But I’m not breaking any laws As I say I saw your pics The moment, do you remember it When you looked a questing answer In the face as I dance her Into your arms and out again But do you swear we’ll always be friends As I hit you up to just say hi Here’s hoping that there’s no goodbye
Hiding part of myself Had me holding onto mental health As the only way to steady the ground As it shakes to the sound Of white noise and light I’m one of the boys and I’m alright As I take a sip of a drink Then throw the rest of it down the sink Coz I want to keep my nerves As something that serves Me instead of fighting a war Coz both sides lose what the winnings for As the turmoil draws you in Ducks in a row like lines of sin And the winter seems to last forever But you haven’t seen the last of this endeavour As I grapple with the ghost that throws me down I’m in the ring and out of town As they all call my name I say goodbye to the chains of shame
I’m exhausted fighting the tide Oh what does it mean to be alive Is it treading water or surfing the waves Is it falling down or being brave Coz I cannot seem to find a story When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me As I question every facet of a different hue It’s who I am not what I didn’t do Living on the brink of a well worn facade Diving deep beyond feeling bad And finding the Heaven life has in store You think this is it then it’s a bit more And I don’t draw diagrams for fun I’m all architecture and you’re the one As we build and we break But we own each and every breath that we take And every step that we walk We must be integrity not mere talk But the sun on the land Or the good looking lad in a band That caught my eye Oh, I feel I could fly But doubt my wings It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things As he meets my stare Holds himself like he’s really there And I cannot ignore The unconditional that I implore Not to leave me And you wouldn’t believe me If I told you the truth The monumental and my youth
Do I really want you to come a little closer You’re just like a ghost With the flavors of nothing And what I love the most I see you shy away and I avoid Being one of the girls You’re not one of the boys But you dance Like Heaven has given you another chance To be all you are The wonderful bridge Constellatory star That just shines Like gleaming diamonds in gold mines I pick one up But it just reflects the look of you, love And we’re one again Outside the realm of women and men Just to be what is He holds my hand and I am his To recalculate All that has me in a lowly state Where do I walk And is all my effulgence just mere talk Do I live up to The brigand that I saw in you As you caught my hand I catch my breath as you reprimand Me for my trauma of being too much I back away but I also clutch You to me Can you love the whole sea When it’s not yours or mine I felt crushed watching About Time And I could feel a lion roar Deep within me Death the moment life begins me As I sit up off the floor What was that and what’s more Who am I How am I not to die When this body walks I seem to move But it’s just patterning on the groove Of the effervescent I hate to be described as pleasant Coz it’s so lukewarm And I am nothing if not a storm Brewing over the hill Do you know the moment if you’re not still?
We became like two dogs snarling In the days I called you darling And you spit your words out at me I let you go free Like we’re aching from our history You and the mystery As ages pass us by And we love but we don’t know why And we fight and we try But we can’t forgive the lie And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted And I just remember when we started And how it is so different now I still see you through the wind somehow
We’ll never be that young again The look on Linda’s face As all our cares Vanished without a trace And we’re a team There were times we were the best they’d ever seen As they wrote us off Til we won the match Getting changed in the old house With the roof made of thatch And Gerry got us all fired up at half time That year was one that would never rhyme And our nemeses are just girls on a pitch You better watch who you’re calling a bitch And there’s something momentous There’s something forever In our willful abandon and heartfelt endeavor To reach to the skies Just coz we’re young And no words Could ever spell the fun And everybody’s got their cameras No one’s got phones And we look at each other And we’re not alone In the fray of it all You made my life, we broke through the wall And we’re forever for a moment in time The ball sits in the air and I make it mine
I feel the fear pulse inside Oh, the terror of being alive And I try to talk with my anxiety It seems it’s getting the best of me As I shiver and shake Then the earth quake Bringing monuments to the ground With a tremulous sound But the peace knows how to ache Until I love it for its own sake And the reason why seems to elude me It’s like it has to prove me Wrong or right But I can’t sleep at night For thinking of him And the heart has to win No matter how it seems to be Could it mean the world to me Swimming in oceans in between And if this is just a dream Then why does it hurt so much And maybe I’m out of luck To be adverse with an advanced decider I never thought you would hide her Away from seeing eyes To be the moment love despise In a sudden realization I flip the switch and change the station To get my mind off of you But it only makes me want to Clasp your hand in mine And I’ve been alone all this time Coz I can’t bear to think of another fella I’ve never been the type to call you yella But why did you not tell me how you feel Why did you try to cut a deal And hold it tight with skin and bone But you look like I could make a home With you where we were And I don’t know what for But I feel the need to profess Everything I wouldn’t confess Way back when Could you ask me that question again?
You’re mysterious And the guys just call you Chris And I have to adjust my vision for the time being Because I’m not sure exactly what I’m seeing As you softly ask me my name And I’d love to do the same But the ghost of winter left last evening And I’ve given up on all my believing And the night isn’t cold but it sure is dark And I used to live right by the park As I listened to JV McMorrow That year I transcended the sorrow And clicked my tongue to my own beat I used to just drive down the street With a bigger sense of life and purpose Not chasing my tail like a dog in a circus Anyway it’s been eons But you cut through the neon Back to where I love the feel Of the men with which I deal And you’ve got something so real In the silence that I just steal Before I hang up the phone It’s good for five minutes to be alone With a voice like yours down the line I blush at the question and answer I’m fine Coz I know this number is a hard one to call But you smile, I can hear it through the air wall And I wonder exactly who you are Do you ever think time is measured by a star As we orbit around what’s fixed in space Running the rivers like it is a race But everything is just typed in notes And I must admit that I love quotes And what they bring to the table If you’re sitting at one are you able To be outside in the fields of yore Is everything as before? Or are you something I’ve never seen I hear his voice and shake out of the dream
I actually haven’t lost my spark Or my ability to make a mark And it seems my visage has grown strained Wearing a look so pained From all the trials I’ve been through All for the courage I lacked in you As you exclaimed against your will That love is nothing but a skill And I soared into the roaring sun All for fear of being come undone That I feel in your presence blue The red of fire I am to you
What if we’re living in Paradise The green fields of our life And he is tormented by the loss of Eden And I was ardent in my believing Til I met the moment in a night And something did ignite Burned like a fuse towards dynamite Spinning ever closer to its own execution I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution Of what I mean to say I’d rather just point the way And have you follow where I go But my steps shake as I move slow Across the ground of the room There is so much more than doom In the space that we share There is true love and care I feel I must speak up to say It’s more than a myth and okay I get that you have your own perspective But my view is true and objective Like a glass with no lens You only see through it when you don’t defend Yourself from what you mean to be You just open up for free And find it echo in your bones Away from the beat of earphones And all the noise that fills the day It’s not a game or a power play But something that must be known I pull the curtains back and it’s shown
Depression cannot stifle this Pain won’t call it quits It stands and it walks It lays down or sits But this moving beast I call my own Is a kaleidoscope Of light that’s thrown Brash across the windowpane And all the suffering is in vain Because it cannot put out the light Not even in the darkest night Not even in the furthest blue I still see colour in you And you may note the degree But it wasn’t earned by me It fell like papers from my hand An ocean in a grain of sand That is roaring with the sea You look up and it’s just me But more and further do I be Let’s rewrite future history
Idealism has me loving him Through the wings of a new song And I’ve only felt Sparsely that I belong In and out between the fear Catching hold of what I hold dear In the hopes that it won’t leave And it’s little that I don’t believe Coz it all pulses in my throat And are we post rote Learning now I sit upon the bough Of a leaning tree To watch the sunset fade in front of me And think it’s much like a life That doesn’t get to happen twice Unless you’re into that sort of thing A reincarnation into the skin that swim In the great ocean And I’ve always been emotion Trying to calm down But I walk on solid ground As my heart beats in my chest Trust in God and leave the rest
It’s zero point It all boils down To what won’t lift up Off the ground And if we’re to leave More than a crater We’ve got to stop Spanning the equator I’m search of What can’t be found Everybody knows That the world is round And bends at the horizon Do you find the wave motion of tears surprising When they’re cried from the sky If we’re born do we know how to die Coz we’ve been stamped with a temporary seal And it’s been rendered taboo what you feel That used to be age old wisdom true Now it’s spiraling in diamonds over you And they give you a name so you know what to call it But you still find a way to apall it As it burrows ever closer to your heart Beating in the years we’ve been apart Do you doubt the moment’s breath And is past just regret That accumulates I tell you now to get out of that state Don’t sit with your bootstraps so low to the ground Ring the bell like you hear the sound
Are you threatened by the female Do you reverberate Am I meant to give up On myself in that state Or is there a way To be and grow I gave you a chance To have me, you know But you turned away From the dance I split the boil With a lance Til all the pus Came spewing out The knife was quick As my wit, no doubt
I just wanted to know if you left me a message It’s nothing insincere But I’ve been tripping the wire Of in love with you, dear And I know it’s a fallacy And I know there’s nothing wrong It’s just you gave me that rush Like you thought I was strong And I’m smiling to myself As I’m sitting on the couch Threw normal out the window Of sanity to vouch For me in the days When the water is less clear I had a dream of you When your words made you seem near But anyway and anyhow I’ve got to let it go I just wanted to uncover These reams and reams of snow So you’d know that in the winter The sun burns just as true You said that you liked me Well, hey man, back at you!
The Poetry Book 