***Trigger Warning – Mental Health Content***

There was that time I was at the bottom of the ocean
The weight of the sky held all my emotion 
And it was burden to me
Until the day I was set free
Like some kind of ennui to fly
But some part of me wanted to die 
It held me like a vicegrips 
I let go and something slips
Into the abyss 
Is it that I miss 
The point of modern existence
So much so that my reference is met with resistance
To what it is 
And I will never be his 
Not now, not anymore
Not since he closed that door 
The one I had opened to let him in 
But the grave is solemn as our sin
As we barely make it through
There were days I screamed at you
And my family bled me dry 
For the crime of wanting to try
To climb to the sky
And sometimes I wonder why 
They condemned me to an education 
In their version of the situation 
Where I am the betrayer of the light 
The one they crack my knuckles with at night 
In tune with the rhythm 
Of their own great schism 
The one that pulls
There is a pain that never dulls
Not sharp and quick 
But one you live with and it’s a bitch 
Much more so than the submerge
And I am on the verge
Of letting go 
And opening to the place I can’t know 
The deep and vast spaciousness pure
If only I could know for sure
What it was 
Like I did before I learned their laws 

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