Sitting in a New York café Wondering whose gonna win the day Is it me or my fear I shake because the doom was near And it pulled me far away from the storm Do you think the sun is warm Or is it just faking it’s heat But I can feel it on my feet As my toes shake sand Out of the knots in my hand Like a well worn tree He left and then never met me And I gotta find God Do you venerate the Lord And is it just another symbol Or can you see out the window To where the grass is green Something in me has always been And will abide I don’t have to hide From the shirking of weight They call it luck, I call it fate
I dig you Like a grave And you’re the hero I’d die to save In the monuments Of long lost glory And are you just staring At my story As we put leagues In between ourselves Like Walmart And stacking shelves For all our worth I swore but it still hurt And cursed the stubbing toe It didn’t make the pain go Only added a layer of ennui I’m always longing for open sky To set sail a sea Into the blue eternity That stretches out the clouds Until I make the people proud With who I am Something about love And God’s plan
Being young and miles away from death Toasting to the movie scene And it’s like a hole was punched in the dream And my friends are just ladies who scream At the first sign of trouble Can I burst your pretty bubble Coz it’s intruding on my space And it’s a groan seeing your face Coz you just wrote me off Now I write it down and all is lost As I find myself And I gotta say it’s the best kind of wealth To know what you are Old Kings burning a celestial star
What did I forget Is it the way your bulletproof tinges my regret As we walk to home Sometimes forever is better alone As when the tide goes out And it’s like a drought On my lips Or a midnight eclipse One you can’t see I dunno about you but that’s about me In the wonder years When I bottled all my tears And sold them for cash Brilliant but just a bit rash As steam on a sunny day It rises then it goes away To be replaced By the sunset the storm effaced
When gorgeous is few and far in between And I catch a skyline in my gaze If Superman had a vocation It would be to save And the stars all collide Just to contest that they are alive In a supernova storm Nebulous against the norm And pink as a candy crush cloud Is it ok if I speak aloud When I am so strange and purposeful A life like this could never be dull But it sure wrecks my head And I wonder what she meant by what she said
I can believe you rolled her like a new cigarette It’s something I can’t bear to forget And I’m still daydreaming yet Into the forest and out with regret As we both subside into the moment I don’t know about you but I think that I own it And you have true colours but you haven’t shown it You drown out the ocean as it’s grown And I would’ve said yes but you’d never have known In the audience of ill repute Is it okay if I call you a flute And play you like a magnet charm In the midnight of no alarm
The graveyard shift And I’m walking it alone And I wonder if I should Throw out my phone Coz it only tells me tales Of faraway lands Of lasciviousness And underhands And I’m walking in New York City And it’s been an age Since I put pen to paper On a page To let out the rage That spills effortless They called me a woman in distress But they don’t know me They don’t spy the truth I was twenty four On the edge of youth As I fight with the toil Of an unholy brute That breaks like waves Upon the shore How can I not Want you anymore
It ain’t me It’s the poetry That wants you so bad Enough to make a monument sad In the ocean it rolls But I ain’t paying tolls For the road I use Not just a book for you to peruse As the library quakes The fire burns and the ground shakes Into the darkness I know so well Do you think there’s such a thing as hell Or is it all imagination Pulling into Longford station And have you turn away from me Surf the Shannon like it’s a sea And dream of eternity With your arms laced around me As forever beckons But what do you reckon Will we give it a go But I think I already know What you’re gonna say But I put it out there anyway
Can death happen Or is it just another ruse An illusion designed to confuse Us here on earth We grow from the dirt With the bodies we weave And everything else is up our sleeve In resident dread I wake for God’s sake and deny him instead My acceptance Like the rejection Could be anything to him The pain just pushes me to go within And find the source Of grief that runs without remorse Down the window pane Is it gonna happen again Or do I know Now that I am letting it go That no iron can strike The open mic That shouts my name She left and nothing is the same
Looking for the gifts and the fruits Not growing up to be one of those suits I asked why I wasn’t suddenly wise And why it is that everyone dies If we’re all eternal And what is the infernal But another cast of the dice And reincarnation means more than twice What do people believe The kingdom of heaven up your sleeve Or something new He came to save all of you And his example Means no sheep is left stranded On a mountaintop His Love is a lot And I find it hard to bear The way the fabric suddenly tear The sky in two I was with him but thinking of You And summer came just like a minidress The ominous that I suppress Threatens to override The system that I’ve tried to hide In all the folds and creases of paper Get out of the rat race and caper That endlessly flies As somewhere in the distance a child cries With no one too soothe And I’m self indulgently in a mood Coz I don’t get my way But what would God say If he had breath to breathe And lungs with which the words were freed To express themselves Is it time to take honesty down off the shelves
Stray I follow
And her words are hollow
Like the rings round her eyes
Everything lives and dies
And she can't shake the spectre
That hides in the window
So she finds love
But it isn't in him though
And the monsters don't drag
Her out of the bed
In the morning
Do I wreck your head
Or can you contain what I say
I like you, is that okay
But I don't agree with all you do
Or how you justify it to you too
And I'm down with all of the vibes
You emulate
And you call my bluff on fate
But something weaves
Its way in and out of thread
I choose myself instead
Of the same damn old fight
Burning in the firelight
And it's something serene
Do I really crack the dream
Open like an egg on the pan
Does anyone know who I am
Coz I think he did
But then I hid
And he bought the lie
But I had to try
To tell the truth
But I'm just selling my youth
And auctioning it to the highest bidder
And the thoughts in my own head make me shiver
With the terror of movement going
And now the wind is snowing
In the middle of spring
Did I really give up everything
Just to get to New York
The road bends just beyond the fork
And I can't choose
Based on what I've left to lose
I must be pulled though
And it's the sight of you
That's driving me on
True Love isn't gone
The power of my voice I speak and it’s not by choice It’s like God has hold of my tongue And I surrendered to Him when I was young Now he commands more than I can believe I let Him move me and it relieve The pressure that’s been building Up in my soul Does a wave know it’s water When it starts to roll Only to crash back into the sea Never really leaving the vicinity Of ocean all the time I thought I could call the people mine But they turned on me and the desire Burned in me like sulfurous fire Always aching to reach out beyond They lock me up and I abscond Only to be returned to the same place again The bathroom floor and me are great friends And it is cool against my cheek Do you remember that time I got weak And collapsed in front of the class I didn’t know the Revelation last Now I’ve got vines pulling at my hands I’ve got an hourglass and it’s slipping sand But does God just turn it when the time runs out So He can achieve without any doubt And is there a way I can transcend Something about the riverbend And being open to what you don’t know I held on so tight, now I let go And the winter can’t stop me loving the snow His hand connected with the wrong side of a blow And I was felled just like a tree Except it didn’t really happen to me Just some grass in the forest I don’t know what I’m doing, if I’m being honest But the road is paved, the path is beaten And I can’t avoid the moment I meet Him There in the woods of ill repute You wear a dress, I’ll play the flute And music will last for the whole night I look up and grin because I am alright
So I got locked up For a crime I didn’t commit And the doctors are in league With the demons I’m dancing with And they’ve got names For my affliction Like love and lust Passion and addiction And I can’t exist Between the two poles Do anything other Than be completely whole And I thought I could trust In a fall away floor So I stood still And the trapdoor Vanished From under my feet Now me and the darkness Finally meet In movements that reach Across my bedroom floor It’s not really Less is more More like a mystery Than a conundrum The wonder is that I Can’t discover Him Where he always was Like light was put on pause And the Saint I love She talks about the distance Between the God of peace And the rest of existence So I know I’m not really On my own Then it bursts to life In true colours shown Like the whole world was pulsing With this desire And the heart of the matter Was a burning fire That gives rise to lit in the tree Like Moses says God is talking to me And the Divine has its own language It speaks in tongues And I could translate them When I was young Now all of the words Turn to a silent tone Like the crackle of static On the other end of the phone
There's a place for you here
In a heart so warm
Resilient enough
To overcome the storm
And the wind is knocking
On my door every day
But when I meet you
There's nothing to say
Coz you're clever, you're brash
You're the epitome of suave
There's no mountain to climb
When you assuage
My fears with the danger
Of what you'll do today
I know there's nothing in the world
That I can say
That will stop you from heaving
The weight of the sea
But there was a moment
You were just there with me
In the ashes, in the fire
In the brave, in the free
You can call it forever
Or just destiny
But you match my endeavour
Like a hidden ring
And I know if you asked
I'd give up everything
To be the summer
In your glass of wine
Would it be okay
If I called you mine?
It’s that time of the season And I just wanna cry without reason And listen to Taylor That summer sunshine sailor Coz she sings the female strife like no one else And she does some good to my psychic health As we both swing into our mid thirties slowing It’s an uphill climb but it’s downhill we’re going And the pain in my soul or in the pit of my stomach Reminds me what it is to be woman And I wonder if I’ll ever have kids And if I do would they be his And if the pain would magnify As love gives birth to what will die And I can’t escape the monumental The infinite in the evidential To succumb to the passing of time Warm my hands by the hearth of fine As we get by on what we don’t know And I loved you so I let you go But you keep returning to my mind To let me know what I left behind And I clutch the emptiness inside But it will not let me hide From all it means to release A form of trauma that doesn’t cease To wake up to the break of day I look down and it’s okay
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady And I dunno but I think that she hates me For intruding on their sacred space But he was a drug I loved to taste And the hit was high And it’s so hard to say goodbye Like it’s a final sort of end Or worse maybe we’re still friends And he could call me pal But I’m not a second best sort of gal I’d rather cut my losses and run Find something else that shines the sun And who knows, maybe it’s not a man Maybe there’s no limit to what I can Do It’s just not you And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony Listening to that guy that’s lonely And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note Give him letters that he can quote Like before When he beat a path to my door Only for me to fly And the year the whole world threatened to die In a storming cavalcade Is it a fate we can evade Or is it an absolute rest We get the day before the test
Are we all just slowly burning fuses And I dance in the garden with all the muses But they never seem to inspire me They just tire of me As I sing the same old tune The feel of you being in the room When it all went down Now you’ve got the crown And they could call you king or god But you’re not the name I call when I need the Lord The one who never fails to show He picks up what you let go What you saw as infantile Just makes my Jesus smile And I was in the undergrowth When he saw me start to slow And he grabbed my hand Showed me how he understand All of my multiplicity Never calling fake on me Just chameleon to fit the shape Of what I need to escape The rotary burn of the wheel That crushes how the people feel With their own doing nice And old age doesn’t come twice If it’s what you need And we all bleed So there’s no need to cut What you fear in another’s shut Door to your open green Don’t you see that life’s a scene Playing out on the screen of us So I open up my closed heart and trust And it’s a white knuckle ride, my boy You were a sort of joy I found on Twitter Do I just end up bitter Coz I never had what you say Is pertinent in the going away That we’ve all been through There’s nothing like the magic of you
Looking at him And I cannot win Coz he commands the deck And is a head wreck As I try to emerge from my cocoon But the flavour of him is in the room And I try to run but I cannot escape Do you remember when Superman had a red cape And couldn’t see through lead Kryptonite and you’d leave him for dead For all his muscle memory He hasn’t got the best of me Coz I’m no Lana Lang One of the girls who also ran I’ve got my own flair and kick Do you know what you’re dealing with As they try to tear me to shreds For what the people do in beds And I fight my way out with storm and grit Go ahead and call me a bitch For failing to reply to your text But do you know what scene is next In the brimming full of Diagonal Alley I’m on the land overlooking the valley And I can’t stand the facetiousness Of the person they think they address When they hurl their words at me Who do you think you free When you’re all about captivity And holding me back Then the weather attack The spacious air I should know coz I was there When it all went down Now it’s just the past and the sound Of tomorrow’s bells won’t ring in this city And you could say it’s a pity But it wasn’t so sad when you were staring down The woman you love in a white gown Like it was something you could fake I hear it in the sharp intake Of breath that you breathe That’s life, they say, but it’s the life I need
Stuck in ‘08 It was my date with fate As it led me to your door Did you want me more More than I can attest And we’re both fully dressed But I feel your eyes rake over me Like we’re naked with destiny Just us and the come what may And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding But there’s something of love that is all abiding Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else With skin so thin you could make a heart melt With the fire that burns off you It seared a part of me too And I can’t change the fact of you I’m not the same and neither are you But we both kinda are Like the atoms forged in a star Or the matter that make time and space Bend the equivalent of the human race To the tune of light refract I never said no but I still want you back Standing outside my window It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though And I cannot deny my feelings were real With the depth of the red that he deal An ace of hearts And mine almost starts To beat double time He was the essence of fine As he’d crack a smile in my direction Like he’s open to cards if I make selection And he lives just across the hall And he kinda caught the ball When I threw it at him Is it a decision I cannot win Coz I love them all The truth in my own freefall
I've got a house by the coast
And I'd like you to live in it with me
I know we've had our differences
But would you just forgive me
Coz you're like the rain
Thundering on the roof
You're like the love
The myth and the proof
And I've seen so long
The years of doing it so wrong
And you're over there
But you've got to know that I still care
As her lashes weave
Everything you might believe
Up the edges of your sleeve
Like the heart you keep on lock or leave
And I hold it so tight
Because you are alright
You know,
And I go
And seek the forest in the trees
It's not everyone that believes
But somewhere in the sidelines
I know that you do
I've got a home for us
Well, for me and you
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It’s threadbare, the stitching of us We’re nothing if not broken trust Coz you swallowed the bullet I handed to you You stitched the thread and pulled it through And the chandelier shatters on the floor How could I hate what I adore As he drives a splinter into my soul And it’s just a memory, the being whole Coz it cascaded And the beauty faded Into a midnight of ill repute And there’s that picture of him in a suit But he moved on, he forgot me It’s like a rope and the fibres knot me Into a thread I long to fray Is everything thing okay? But he turns away and the darkness reigns The years of doing things in vain And trying to get back to the level playing field I watched them sway in the wind and yield Down by the lake And do you know what love forsake When it took him from me Like the ocean to the sea In wondrous tones I always end up alone Though I’ve got friends and I’ve got family But in the dead of night there isn’t any way You can avoid the dark Just waiting for that holy spark To light the fuse Why did you think you were something I could use? Maybe it was the song And d’ya know, you weren’t wrong
It’s the show and you’re invited I know life is tough but you shouldn’t fight it Coz resistance just builds more pain And you have to relive it over again But can I just let it go Coz she decimated me, you know With one little flick of the wrist Knife in the back like it’s something to twist And I watched as it faded I’m anything but jaded Coz I sing for all too well But holding your head up when you’re in hell Is harder than I could contemplate And there’s something of me still left in that state Coz I never got over her disregard It was born with the glass shard As something smashed the window Do I let him in, though Coz he’s enticing, he’s warm and kind And he fills the hole that she left behind And I’m clasping pieces of the jigsaw shattered Trying to fit them into something battered But I woke up to the untouched It’s not another dimension as such But weaves and intertwined Into what once was blind Just blind hope Something to hold onto and cope But it broke into a new dawn Sun shining where the love was gone
I thought the great big ocean would find me But it’s always been just the tide Counting the beats of my step To the heart that keeps me alive And the summers in the city Where I counted my blessing He asked me if I was serious I said shur I’m only messing And the wild within me got unlocked Like a fabled Pandora’s box All the crucible to fly Is to live to know how to die Coz we’re born with these bodies We don’t know how to use Then we get attached To something we lose And every breath is a tear With a fragrance of flower But people are reckless When they have power And moan and shine and wither and break Then tell you they do it for your sake But it could never tally up Not when you call it love And I had a bite of the unconditional Now I move and walk and it’s not volitional Coz she spilt the beans on me Now every secret’s flying free And a demolishment has been rendered In the space my hope engendered It cascaded tears Now I measure the war in years That I’ve been through And I blame you For all the absent meanders I don’t have all the answers But can I learn to be a little less jaded The pain’s the same but the scars have faded And I only give leave for a moment to be The epitome of running free
If you’re logged in I hope you see The monument You are to me And I’m looking up You’re looking down And babe we could run this town If it was a two by two I’m getting a home ready for you As I make the tea And we find our way when we can’t see And maybe it is wrong To covet the fold But the path you walk Is solid gold As arms wrap around Did you hear the sound Of our silence dear Isn’t the water pretty clear When it’s still in a pond And, no, I amn’t gone Just waiting in the wings And my heart it sings For you, my love You set the fire, I’ll free the dove
I hear the bullet ricochet As you utter truth I’d say I love you But you’re such a brute To give and leave and take away All that had come to stay With me for all of time You say that the fault is mine But I hear the chime Of wind bells on the porch I know I seem out of sorts But it’s just dealing with the loss of you And the trauma of what you put me through Just to prove that you were right You rained Heaven onto a darkened night And I’m still living by candlelight Since the power cut I don’t think I’m in a rut It’s just no one sees me clear And, God knows, I hold you dear But there’s too much storm in the air So I high tailed it outta there And now you’re mad as hell But I never tell You what I really feel Coz I know you cannot deal With the intense focus of my desire And you may be all fire But I am wind and air And it blew you away, me being there And I laugh and you deny That I ever made you cry But sometimes tears fall like rain I know I’ll see you again
Letting go of what he did to me Letting go of what she said Letting go of the nightmares That haunt me troubled in bed Coz I’m living untethered I’m a wildebeest at heart And all I seem to know how to do Is make my pain into art And I paint my own canvas I love the glorious white But the colours of rainbow Make the fire in me ignite And I throw in some earphones It’s punk rock and emo lite I nod to the folks you asked If I was alright And I’ve got fury Burning a candle Maybe I’m just too hot to handle But I’m an Aries and my planet Mars Rules the conduct in the passing of stars And you’ll never be able to touch What is beyond your reach I didn’t come here for students I’m not one who has to teach To live my own compass point It’s been years since the Love anoint Me with its holy Chrism I try to get away but it seems the answer is Him And He brushes my hair out of my face Looks down from Heaven and gives me a taste Of what it must be like to live in the realm Where God is a friend and Truth is at the helm In the midnight of another sorrow I get by on daydreams and the light I borrow From the sun that gives me life Seems the setting shade gives you twice The morning on replay It’s always bright at the break of day
She’s got it on lock The dark she is not She’s stellar, she’s a star And I wonder what you are As we fight to keep our heads above water Swimming in currents that aim for caught her As we span the ocean in a gaze I wonder how many people she’s saved As she throws a glance like a dagger across the room And I dunno how to work the zoom Function on my camera But I just tie my bandana Red around my head And there have been so many left dead By the dark side of the human psyche I keep wondering what it is that ignite me So I can burn like a fire in the hearts of men Is it going to happen again Or have we turned a corner on life on earth Is there depth to transcend the hurt Or will the storm come to rage once more I knock a rap upon the door Coz I have to be let in I know that there’s something there in him That can spin a dial so right I walk by the light In your window Is it a sin though To see what’s really beating a heart If we abdicate do we take part In the slow drive to floor The ground that crashes to meet us, a stór Or can stars hold space For us as we lay waste To all we’ve known Have the people grown Up and out of a tendency But I feel the collective pull at me To get me to identify But I can’t let the children cry For what we’ve done to them and us Is it a mirror of broken trust That we catch ourselves upon We’re going down but love isn’t gone Not yet or forever Can we be the sky that knows the weather That spins a chrysalis As a diamond kiss The pressure that we’ve known thus far I feel like we can only drive this car A certain length down the road Has our maturity showed As we stand up to the shelter I close my eyes coz this is a belter
Incognito window, I’m under the radar I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar But I know that I can make planets spin With the love that’s inside and the peace within And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees There are no words for the wonder it frees When the weight just drops The what you are’s in the space the love’s got And I am not a mountain but I am not hill I can move power with the strength of will And she never helped me out But I guess that’s just the space in doubt To be forgotten or held so close Do you see through what I love the most Or must I just let it die Not be afraid to spill tears and cry Over what is yet to come And a woman takes away the man’s son What can you do but acquiesce The movement’s in the way you dress And shoulder weight like diamond mines I’d let it go coz it’s fine In the sunshine and the rain I don’t think that I can do this again So I relinquish the right to be wrong And open heart into a song To make it alright again I give up on the world you spin
The sound of you Has echoed through these halls And it’s bringing down barriers And cavernous walls Until all is a grand open space With not one instant of my time gone to waste And I hit pause in 2011 All because the sound of Heaven Was just too damn real And you’re not the boy I want to steal Away with into the night But you came close to it, alright And I spill ink on the canvas I draw I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw In the sunlight you bequeath And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet But you turn my face upward with your palm You look at me and I am calm I’m the storm that surround You are worth the way it resounds And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient I’m an artist and I try to paint it But it never lives up to what you are A feeble try to condense a star Into matter and fusion But it was just confusion To say I don’t love you so And I just want you to know That you crack the glass with your smile And I dream of you for a little while But it is real as can be I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea
Muddy shoes walk all over my floor As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore And it could be Christ the King Or the boy with a broken wing All I know is that the stars announce The girl I was, the one that you denounce As I place one foot in front of another Never knew what it was like to have a brother Who watches my back Just a girl and the attack Was launched on me Fifteen years and I’m still not free Of what she inflicted And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it It just I carry the scar that hurts I blame you for it and what’s worse Is that I make myself suffer for what never was I don’t know gravity because When I was brought down to earth I was in open space and the dirt Is evidence on my coat That I met a Holy Ghost
The fear of missing out Haunts my sideboard Coz nothing’s enough I swear on the word That I utter Under my breath I’m on my way But I’m not there yet And everything glistens Like sunny snow Out of my reach But don’t you know It’s closer than it was And I didn’t break any laws When I wished you down I tore the tatters on my gown Into the shape of a badass queen What if this is just a dream That is happening in consciousness Do you trust In the powers that be Is it ok or will we see What is coming down the line There was that moment you stopped time And I was taken by an intake of breath It’s sharp and I cannot forget It’s impact on my soul I keep catching glimpses of being whole
I dunno if it would be a sin But I would like to make sweet love with Fin It’s in his eyes and it’s in his hair It’s in his way of just being there And answering me when I ask a question Though I may be prone to suggestion When he drops a line on my telephone And I can feel that I’m not alone In this world we call suffering and plight But I think it just might be alright As a new day dawns and succumbs To the growing up when you are youngs Or as the girl says as she drums Her breath against the walls of her lungs It it just like I thought it would be Like you’re an ocean and I love the sea To be tranquil and to be still I’ve overcome hate but it wasn’t with will It was with the simple joy of the act And they way you trust when there’s no turning back In a pair of hands he just held out Like you’re the beauty I hate to doubt But I do coz everything’s thin But I’m full of peace when I’m with him Like he came to me to be my savior Like the bar and he knew how to raise her Up from where she lay askance And suddenly this life’s a beautiful dance That has all atoms singing in motion No neighbors to say it’s just commotion But a heavenly chorus unto the dawn One minute it’s there and the next it’s gone But there’s something steady in all the rubble And you speak to me from beyond the trouble To a place safe and warm Like we have weathered the worst of the storm In being together when the night Closes in and we have to fight Even to breathe into the sky People come and go and then they die As everything reborn renews And I forget to pay my dues Coz I just can’t be bothered with anything sunny I know you’re laughing but it isn’t funny How I got into this state From Armageddon to irate To all is quiet on the western front Til he takes a bite and chews the brunt Of the worst of it all I held out my hand and you’re my freefall
It’s so easy to see it in someone else So hard to manage my mental health Coz I feel the tightrope laid out for walking People have their opinions but they’re just talking As I balance on a line I pray won’t fray Coz I’ve lost seasons to the going away And somewhere in the weather a monumental tome Whispers to me, so soothe me, you’re not alone And I crack like an egg at the edge of the bowl Searching for a reason to make me whole And she’s got it like atoms bound together so tight Quark an oblivion into the night And it’s some days on Monday’s I just like to run Up the hill and down coz baby it’s fun As I feel my limbs unloosen like rain As if the release is coming again And I hid in the tree up on a branch If I lived in Texas I would own a ranch To let animals roam free without care If you think to cross me, baby, don’t dare Coz I’m dynamite and you sit on the fuse Crackling amber like there’s nothing to lose And the sparks that you make warm me and threaten To let loose all the eons I’ve spent regretting The time that has passed or didn’t so You hurt me so deeply so I let you go But I’m always wanting to see you again I get lost in the rouge of the colour of men Coz they’re so fly it’s near as they open their eyes Like winds blowing doors to adjacent surprise And it was nothing but all up in the air When he said hello and I knew he was there As I faltered a goodbye or a maybe someday But I let him in and it’s not going away Though we both slam shut to a degree And I’d be the more likely down on one knee As the rivers race oceans to get to the shore Absence is fondness and I love him more For all of the ways we can’t be together I look up at the sky and say, hey man, that’s weather
Taking my meds with a glass of brandy And I dunno man I’m just taking it handy And that’s not any kind of recommendation But I’m sipping gin and the tv station Sings of a land I don’t understand Partner track and the underhand But I’m lazy and I’m catching flies Why is it everything that’s born dies And why must I be protected from the realisation That inner being is elation And it’s not any kind of ruse You could say that it’s soul food To eat like the point you prove Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes Instead of run from where you are You’re shining, you fuckin star
My love hasn’t changed Though the atoms have rearranged And come to form a celestial sphere But vibrate when the glass clear And wipe the window clean Like it is some kind of dream That I believe in or don’t They tell me to leave it but I won’t Coz you are the summer weather I crave Not the man I came here to save Not an ocean to span And my voice shakes but I speak because I can And utter the syllables long on my tongue You’re not just a season of being young But the epitome I’ve come to cherish It’s okay if it’s too much to relish In the break of dawn A moment there and then it’s gone
The battlestorm rages outside my window I do not aim to let it in though It shatters the windows and shakes down the hall Like I’m running in a free for all And is it just ego, this creation I’ve made Not for the saving but salvation be saved From the minute and limited form What does it take to keep the world warm And are we all just spiraling in our creation I get up from the wound in my education To stand up tall just as I am And the man says that there is no plan
I’ll be the clarion call To let the demons out The things that people suffer under The fear, my dear, self doubt And they locked me up in ashes But I still was free Coz even though they do their best They can’t get the best of me
And the clock ticked, did it go back Am I getting enough of slumber And but for the men I loved I woulda been just a number In that place where the halls have eyes And everyone walks tiptoe It’s eggshells we’re treading on So that you might not know
And I had a bed and my own room It was number sixteen And I’ve been dealing with this kind of shit Since I realized the dream As I hop on a hopscotch Afraid to cross the line Is there a difference between being here And doing hard time
And I hid out in the activity room Rifling through a storm I hope they might not find me That’s how I kept the candle warm But they did and told me so There was a place to greet But I’m moving dough with my hands Can’t make it move my feet
And the third time I was in there Barry called my name He asked if he could speak to me, if it was all the same But he was laughing sideways Out of the corner of his mouth He thinks that he might have a clue As to what I’m all about And, God love him, he was precious But he set the dial to spin So I called the shots and called it off Walked out of the room with him
And, the laughter, it was breaking like a wave upon the shore I left the card on my desk so that it might love me more And my sides they’d split with Aoibhínn coz she was such a hoot She talked me out of dangerously quiet as I stood mute
And I drew an eye on the wall in the smoking room It was a lot more like freedom than it was the bells of doom And they only scrubbed it out a year later and I see There was a part of them that loved a part of me Or with a certain fondness I recall what they say It’s not the present moment but you will be okay So I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the bin Conceded defeat coz you know I cannot win
And the monuments of time will fall beneath the sea But there’s something eternal that beats the heart of me And I can’t put my finger on it or tell you what it is Only suffice to say that being born is not to live Beyond the realms of death In the halls that I vacate I think they had me wrong Coz I love the thing they hate
And summon up a showstorm In the dead of the night The sun that is within me Can’t help but be bright As all I ever am And all I’ll ever be I can’t bring myself to regret That I asked you to dance with me
One of us comes
The other one goes
I wear the pants
He just knows
And we found love
Where it can dance
Did you take a breath
Or a second chance
On the money
Or off the floor
What is it about love
That we adore
Coz you're summer
I'm winter
We're a cyclical thing
And I know it's real
When I hear the bell ring
And we lift off
The ground is below
The air is free
But do you go
When I open my heart
And pour out my wounds
I didn't think the end
Would come so soon
And you're looking past me
Into the sky
What's it about love
That will neither live nor die
I was something And I could see A new and different version of me And it’s come to pass That I have come to ace the class Of transformation Coz they flick the tv station But the score Is always I want more Than what is But I am His And I found in life A reflection of his beauty In a man and it’s my duty To explain that I See through the body that die Into the effortless supreme I gasped and it woke the dream
He’s gotta be cool and he’s gotta be sweet And it’s gotta be fireworks the day that we meet It’s gotta be sunshine, it’s gotta be rain And it’s gotta be turmoil not seeing him again And what if the person I describe is you I wonder would you describe me too If you could put pen to write out a list Second guess what I dismissed As only passing, temporary, soul But it’s like making music at the Super Bowl There’s a crowd there that will cheer And far away seems so near When you are so close Temporal as a Holy Ghost To reach up and touch The man I love so much
I had feelings for you back in the day But then I just used you to explain Darragh away And he’s the secret that I’ve been keeping The magnificent dragon quietly sleeping In the recesses of my soul Is there a together in the growing old Where we can both warm our hands by the hearth Find our own way in the dark As he speaks to me Weaving a thread on the tapestry To paint the picture of us And we’ve always had trust Why did you hide your face So I couldn’t keep you in place Where you were Let you run off with an adjacent her In the winter of my life Moored in strife As the cavalry came To take all but my name from me Then suddenly starshot in the oblivion I saw a remnant of what I’d been living in A moment of truth And I can’t claim the auspices of youth Anymore Is that you at my door? Well, for God’s sake come in! You’ll catch your death if you’re waiting for him
Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream And his words are fuckin’ insane But I still remember his name And the way his hair curls around in locks The way he walks a palace that time forgot And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay? And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said You’re always making your home where you lay your head And find something honest and real and true That was just with them and now it’s with you In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain To be the storm centre, the very eye Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die At least for another fifty or so years Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears And look up to the heavens when the sky clears I drink one to you when I’m having my beers I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law That seems to hold court and company I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee Professing my love to the moon and stars Do you remember the days when it was prison bars And nothing meant anything to anyone you know Now you wave at me as I watch you go With the train that has taken you from the station I guess congrats are in order for the celebration Of all you have earned that is duly yours And I know you could say that this is all words When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes
Finding the balance between this and that And I don’t have to hate you just to get you back And I am loved and I’m secure I’m wading in water but the current is pure And it’s nothing but noontime in the sky Poised between to live and to die And I know it’s all rolling, this plunging in And it’s over before it really ever begin It’s just that I’m drawn to take a stance Hold out my hand to you to dance And you don’t have to take it but I sense that you will Like drinking in water til you have your fill The sunset, the morning, the consuming night I know in the end we’ll all be alright
Death, looming like a great paragon on the horizon I don’t know what to take a side on But I know I can’t stay on the fence Or civilization will be in the past tense As we see the aching Colosseum stand for war But it crumbles in the end because of what it’s for And we hear the machine gun roll But they can’t kill the soul And it will come round to embrace The very worst of the human race Til we’re all tended like wheat in the field The wind shakes the barley and it yield To the power of peace and benevolence As we watch the rhythm dance Like a song across the grass The only truth in my life is that Love last And in the oceans that span a sea There’s a depth to you and me That no wonder can contain Let’s wake without the pain To prompt us to stir Do you even know what we were As we wear that t-shirt too I was born in the moment I met You
There’s a new thing brewing But can it keep its head Cause the parapet is raised And so many people lie dead But I climb up the rock There’s a world of things that I am not As the sun in the sky Shines over the seas as they go by And it’s hopping over there On the Western front and I care About how it all goes down I left half my heart in that town And now I go back Before the attack In shoes that I can walk What does it take to see through the talk Into what is true Is there any way I can save you From your fate The demolition that lies in wait I shake the dust off my shoulders I’m like Icarus chasing boulders That have no business in that myth But the world is chomping at the bit And this is just a dragon I dance with In my hope for a new born truth A time beyond the confines of youth As we let the shackles drop What does it take for one person to say stop And breathe What do the people need Can we shift the scene Out of this nightmarish dream I know no one who can say That everything is okay When we just let it crumple If there’s lightning then thunder will rumble
I don’t want to start a fight I don’t wannna take aim It’s just I catch my breath When I see her name Next to yours instead of mine It walks over me like a thousand times And I know she’s real nice but I would wait Until you trace the hands of fate And saw it bring you to my side In your presence I’m alive And soaring like a bird in flight And I know you might be alright But I’m nothing without you my sweetest babe I don’t even have the room to save Myself from the gnashing of teeth I think I’m stranded on the beach Waiting for my ship to come in And don’t you know it’s always Him No matter what is said to deter And I just wish the best for her Because she kept you close when times were tough And my excuse is simply not enough And I know I was away And you would always say You wanted someone And being too young Is no reason to protest I looked away, you did the rest As the cymbal clattered to the floor And I’ve never wanted anything more Than I want you now But I gotta give space to allow You to have your breathing room I loved you too late after too soon Coz you stride across the hill I look up and still I see you standing there With the wind in your hair And your magnitude Just a really cool dude To open my eyes into I know it’s not enough that you Loved me then before I let you go I’m writing this so you know That your soul has a place beside the embers I warm And you can chill by the heat of the storm And I know it’s really bad form To tell you this now when true love has been born And I see you with her And what we were Is just echoes now in my mind As I’m sad over what I’ve left behind And you say it’s gone But I can hear it in that song You play when you think nobody cares But I look through it all with devil may cares And your silhouette Is not something I could ever forget As the stars Make magical music out of the bars That hold me in If only I could get to him But it’s a futile shot He only sees all that I’m not Nor could be I amn’t she And we Eternity Could never refresh The page easily As a new sky dawns And our youth is almost nearly gone Eaten up by time Like the melody you sang with the line When you didn’t know That you are everywhere I go In college days I find you there in so many ways Just a glance A laugh, a second chance The fear The feeling you close as though you are near In the library But you’re kissing her beside me I just don’t see Til now, at least, an infinity And, love, will you ever know That I stared at you headlong until I go Back to your door Rap a knock like a mini score But you adore The Goddess you found by the shore And I know Though I implore Everything’s settled on the ground floor And foundations deep Underlie all that you intend to keep And just a day A million light years away Can’t convince You to change your mind since I showed up I don’t even know if you could call this love It’s just you’re everything I’m thinking of And the sky Holds nothing to the blue of your eye Black hole deep Full of the light that it will keep From a million stars that throw away Their beams to your frame as you walk away And I Will love you like this til the day that I die And cry That we never got to be As he takes the role of the quintessential he Of my dreams I know it’s not all that it seems And I’m not Einstein But would I be a fool to call you mine In another dimension One without all the surface tension And suspense We climbed out of both of our tents Never knowing what’s in store Where the zip on the line made way for a door And you, effervescent you, just laugh You don’t do things by half Do you And if it means that much to You I will love her too Celebrate the days of you Two down in the park Before I even knew that we start Oh, the longing to be Somewhere near your soliloquy But it just rhymes somewhere in the distance And I give up on the resistance And allow You to live your own life somehow Just know I love you deep like the mountain of snow That rolls down avalanche cloud My voice is shaking but I say it out loud And the words don’t make sense and you’re shouting at me Something about nothing and our history And the lines blur You were always with her In the years And the tears And you see This, you and I, and Infinity
I spent my youth fearing old age Now I’m finally flipping the page And finding out that the aforementioned Is really not in this dimension Because I extend out Far beyond the realms of doubt To the furnace roar and the circumstance Do you know the electrons dance In perpetual motion And nothing can replace devotion In the furthering of things And a million rings Cannot make me replace The love that I came here to taste And just drink in It wasn’t just with him But everyone Everyone the immaculate Son Of Destiny Do you think he thinks of me With his hand on the trigger A rifle to fire But love’s not down low But somewhere higher To take in the vista And one can only say “I missed ya” If you believe the lie People we love cannot die But fly On immutable wings And everything in creation sings Of its unborn nature My love, I could never hate ya
I go down and come back up As cyclical as the sun to rise I’m never lost in rainy weather But it’s under blue skies Coz summer comes and summer goes The seasons change but, God knows, It’s something that remains the same It does not go by any name Nor is it bought by any man A bough holds its weight because it can And I see you In the waves of us two To delineate Something beyond the hate That has us swinging vines Like ten thousand times A Tarzan in the air But, my love, you care I can see it in the avenues The aching arches of the blues You sing to me late at night And I walk on a rope that’s tight Across a cavern steep Do you know how to go to sleep When the light goes out Oh, forget it, just kiss my mouth And we can be as lovers are In union, poles of a star Celestial in its defeat What happenstance made us meet Or preordination The destination Of education At the summit of the pillar Just so you know you didn’t kill her Just made a dent in the facade Grew up through realms of feeling bad Wry consternation You’re on the box so I flip the station Onto some other tune Nevertheless you’re in the room Calling soul What’s a ball to do but roll Down an ungainly hill You call but I never will Attempt to explain all you engender When you say you don’t remember What we were And that it’s the same with her Is this bitterness Or envy in its undress To lay a claim On someone else’s surname What’s a girl to do I let it go and so do you Til we’ve nothing left to leave What you are I can’t believe
Looking for salvation in the stars It’s like trying to round some prison bars As they, adjacent, keep a defense Til you’re hands and knees in the present tense And do I confess My wilderness and impress Some secret subtlety afar Oh, the world, how near you are When you just take a glance At the vulnerable in my stance And I wish away Tomorrow another yesterday Don’t you see That you were the ocean to me And the sea at night Oh, how it glitters in the moonlight To reflect your face Now forever is without a trace Gone from these hands I’m on the shore just pacing sand As you glide effortlessly along another terrain Have all my past lives been in vain To bring me to this A pair of lips that death might kiss Someday or will The power of life to kill All that it breathes air into And consciousness is quintessentially you So you can’t lose it But did I choose it This marching band There’s nothing I have really planned Coz all falls away And what you leave til another day Gets left behind They say I am out of my mind But I think they’re wrong I’m too deep in it and that’s my song Can I hold the tune I did when you walked in the room And my heart hammered against my chest The depth of wisdom that I invest In you to be all you claim Now it’s been years and you’re just a name I click into Tell me did I ever reach you Or was it all just empty talk The way you hold yourself when you walk Like you’ve been punched Something hits you and I can feel the crunch As you double over side to side But hell if I know you’re still alive And kicking me somewhere under the seat Why did heaven have us meet If it was just to part And you are the king of my heart
They paved a path and told me to walk I tried to speak up, they said it’s all talk As I contradict The line they’re running with Could you spare a minute doctor dear I wanna make something clear I am moved by the immutable force Like a river by nature just follows the course That sends it from spring to the sea Well, so it is with me As I feel the flow You tell me not to let go But I’m not holding on The thing you look for is long gone And the clambering rock on the cliff that I scale Is not enough to make my courage fail Because I’m brilliant red and Griffindor You’re looking for less but I’ve got more Than you ever could contain Within the concept of rain Must I say it to you again As I slouch around the hall I’m fuckin’ bored, will you pass me the ball So I can shoot it in the net Remind you that I don’t forget The lines you litter with your feet I never spoke about the monumental meet I had with a guy so sweet It’s cooking time and the heat Is too much for me to stand I look at him and he takes my hand And holds it close to his face A beauty that I can’t erase As he’s speaking to my doubt Don’t need to have to do without But within is where I rule domain And I know we’ll meet again Somewhere in between There is a crack in the dream That’s how the light gets in For a moment there it was with him
The Poetry Book 