Haphazard Daydreams

I write poems about you 
About love and hate and in between
As you criticize the dream
For being too bold
Too brash and vibrant to hold
But it’s all me
Sailing on the empty sea
Of my own dread
Is it wrong that you’re in my head
Incessantly
What does it take to be free
Of your grasp
You said we’d ever last
But fine
As you give up the thousandth time
On what we were
And I amn’t her
But am I just making drama
Not seeing things like a panorama
Gaslighting myself
Then saying it’s better for my mental health
To hold it all in
But maybe the sin
Is not giving myself leave to feel
And it’s all real
So I heal
Slowly at first
You don’t have to rehearse
I paint it in verse
And a sideways glance
Is nothing but a second chance
Gone to waste
So make haste
And dive in
It’s only five minutes til we begin
To see the storm another dial
And it’s like we’re on trial
For a crime we didn’t commit
But it’s still you I’m walking with

Gentle True

Stephen’s words are gentle true
And I want to make the stars with you
As you gaze out from a constellation
And I have to say my medication
Hasn’t prepared me for a moment like this
One where opposites kiss
Across a table
And you aren’t able
To hold back the smile
I catch you all the while
Laughing with your face lit up
And I guess you could call this love
Except for the fact
You don’t want me back
In that place again
The only good thing was the men
Who used to be good to me
In days I lost my liberty
To a staunch defender
It was enough to render
The articulation in my image
The town was talking, the whole village
Was effervescent with the notion
That I was caught in my emotion
And a subtle drawl
Draped over me like a shawl
In winter time
Are you sublime
Or just ocean, seas
You could call it a modern disease
To be brought low
Places where I dare not go
Or with a shudder
There with any other
And to be soothe with my music
It’s the path I walked but I didn’t choose it

Wealth Is Mine

The feeling of lostness of twenty one
When you’ve completed what is done
And people say that you’re still young
That life has barely just begun
But I feel weary in my bones
Splitting hairs and running home
And always, always alone
Except for the figures in my phone
Now I’m looking back ten years hence
When forever is in the present tense
And I’ve lifted weight off of my shoulders
Younger now that I am older
And running lines
I’ve seen this play a thousand times
And if you say that you are fine
I believe it now wealth is mine
I believe it now summer is in the air
And you can feel the presence of all that isn’t there
In empty space
Is all that youth gone to waste
Or compost for the growing grass
Ground for something that will last

Til The Day I Die

I wonder if he ever thinks of me
It’s been years since I set him free
And it all collided into a perfect chasm
Now I look away coz I know she has him
And I don’t begrudge her the joy of the act
It’s just, you see, I want him back
And it doesn’t matter what storms my sky
I’ll still love him to the day that I die
I’m pulled like gravity to a place I don’t know
Everything is screaming don’t let go
And it’s all I can do to keep my vision straight
Live up to the promise that lays in wait
My ego takes off like a racehorse down the road
Dragging me with it wherever it goes

Eternal Life

Death is really nothing but the passing of the torch
I spend years in contemplation on my front porch
All to find a map that maybe would decide
The route I am to take for the reason that’s inside
And it may be tomorrow or in forty years
Will the lake live on now that I’ve cried some tears
In saltwater brine ever to explore
I get older as I age but I just love it more
As I fit into my skin each moment as it passes
Like I used to listen to the teachers talk in classes
With rapt attention in case I might miss
Something of my destiny condensed into a list
And everything has rolled by, I find myself thirty two
It’s older that I’m getting though I’m younger than you
And everything will cease one day come it’s time
It’s not as if I can call forever mine
Except to note that in the Now
Everything is present somehow
An abundance of peace and adequate zen
Hands held together to utter Amen
That all may be as it always is
The Birth of the Eternal into what exists

Loved Up To The Stars

Are we loved up to the stars
Sideways and we’re dodging cars
That try to chase us down the street
The glory of our cute meet
On a train or a bus
Or public transportation
I always look out for you
When I’m at the station
In case you come riding into town
I wanna make sure that I’m around
And they all have me down as a fool
As smart as I was in school
They have me thieving timbers
Crawling through the ashen cinders
And I’m forever ago
To you
But I smile when you want me to
Just to flash that grin of yours
I’m sure the earth adores
Ever child of hers as much as I do you
The needle and thread are pulling through
To make a new tapestry
I loved you so I set you free

Love Always

The poetry knows how to spell your name
But I’m gonna keep it quiet, if it’s all the same
To you as our separate spheres
Collide into the absence of fear
And you love her deeply but is it true
And you know I’ve got my eyes on you
As you step across the room
Did I just know you too soon
And the weather changed and the tide went out
So sure that I’m full of doubt
And aching with the ages that are passing by
I know it was uncouth but I had to try
To make a spiral turn your head
I wish I was able to command you instead
But you’re so out of reach that I cannot touch
Even the air that surrounds what I love so much
So I leave it be and I let it go
It was just I wanted you to know
Before you made that step up the hill
I left it where it was but I always will
Smile at the sun that shines on you
I don’t mind if you want me to
Simply be serious with my tone
I’m always better when I’m alone
And desperate is not something I’ve ever known
But it’s got to rain for the grass to be grown
And I guess I came down in a shower of hail
And you can try your case and fail
But there’ll always be somewhere you can reside
You can take off that mask, you don’t need to hide
Only confide and breathe deep and breathe true
Love is always there for you

Pressure Towards Hedonism

There's a pressure towards hedonism
Throwing it all away
I've grown up with cocaine
In the news every day
And I can't match my shoes
With the pieces they sell
It seems to me
Like it's going to hell
In a masquerade as truth
The loss of innocence and youth
And the trials, they go by in the crew
The media to pay its due
For selling what you cannot buy
I dunno, I had to try
To be the last one on the stoop
The breath of air, the fresh, recoup
And I'll never land where they're saying
Coz I'm still taken with praying
Each and every night to a God I love
I'm not sure if He is above
Or everywhere all around
Omnipotent as the sound
Of my own breathing
And the needing
Escapes into the air
Almost as if it wasn't there
And I smile
At you across the fifteen mile
Between us both
You get the horse and we'll take the coach
Just to go up the hill
Your magnificence never will
Cease to amaze me
C'mon, baby, save me
Or is this just an illusion
Fighting the tide of confusion
That weathers the land
The Irish say, it'll all be grand
Meaning okay
I still love you in that way
Even though you infuriate
And that date
Was something to come by
Now it's all open sky
And I have to be grateful
That you boxed the hateful
As "I don't mean it really"
And I found something steal me
Away into hallowed halls
Over bridges and brick walls
Into a peace that will never end
Do you think you could be my friend?

The Closest Star

It seems I’ve gone this long without understanding her
There are oak trees and Douglas fir
Growing up between the spaces that we left
I look at her and it’s all theft
It’s all subterfuge and cavalcade
But, my God, she’ll never age
Only remain the eternal we are
Light years away from the closest star
Oxegen was something of a revelation
They always said I was above my station
Staring into stars like that
But I’ve caught the bug and I want you back

This Man of Mine

I just don’t know what to do
I don’t know, I just need you
To come back in on the breeze
And watch me fall to my knees
As I implore the sky
To let me have this man of a guy
To call my own
And true colours shown
Only paint the clouds a different hue
I came apart in the hands of you
As you just smile
And I walk a mile
In another’s shoes
To be happy and pay our dues
Could I give you a book to peruse
As you unintentionally confuse
Me with your ardent limbs
And, my God, the joy of him
To be together in this way
I don’t care what the people say
In their ancillary tones
I just remember the hold on my phone
As I screamed an I love you
And you just looked sad and blue
And everything is a forest free
Did you perceive the truth in me
Or was it just a moment passing by
Did I need to try
To make you see
Or did you just know me
In our absence of words
The silence is all that I’ve heard
In days gone by
I dunno, I had to try
To let you into just how I feel
But, I just, I cannot deal
With your ebullience
And is the tense
We’re in now just fear
All I hold, dear
Is the memory of us
And the dream of something to trust

Midnight Sky

Two stars passing in a midnight sky 
And I’m gonna love you until I die
And that may be many years hence
But you’re always in the present tense
Tracing constellations in an azure blue
Is the moon and sun in a room with you
And as far as I can make out
My trust in you bends the limits of doubt
Til we’re screaming yes at the end of an aisle
As I twirl your hair around my fingers and smile
At the chance made of fate
It’s you and I on our first date
So circumstance I can’t compute
How you and I could ever dilute
The complexity of an intensity strong
Holding our hands against the wrong
And you win me over with a simple song
I am beside you and we belong
In the halls of Love where they record names
The futility of errant flames
That spiral ever eternity
The timeless realm and now I see

Metaphysical

You can’t fake that generosity 
I can see it in her eyes
Like we’ve both come across a land
Where nobody dies
I can’t keep up with it
I’ve got the fear of missing out
It’s like going to God
And being filled with doubt

Steady Easy

Life doesn't go steady easy
It plots and twists and turns 
The fire is really nothing 
Until there's something that it burns

Thread Needle

Threading together the words of my life
Do I grow up just to be a wife
Or is there another fortune for me
Can I live in a world set free
From its strictures, from its holds, from the prison bars 
Cause, man, I’m all about chasing cars
Lying in a field on my own
The moon alone knows how much I’ve grown
As I try to let the memory erase
The feeling of being out of place
The feeling of not quite fitting in
And the joy of being with him
But does it have substance, can it reign
I stepped outside of time and left the pain
Where it was on the windowsill
Some say I’m lonely but I never will
Coz there’s something about solitude 
That’s better than any chick or dude
There’s something about subside
When you feel the peace arise
And I know tomorrow will take care of itself
And this moment is abundant wealth 
But could you forgive me for my flaws
For us running wild like outlaws
Or a stray vagabond 
There was that time I dyed my hair blond
Just to be a younger version
Of myself, now the car is swerving 
Into traffic I can't control
It's like the waves crash as they roll
Back unto another shore
I can't help but love you more

Second Guess

You’re in the past
But the feeling’s still present
I wonder if I could
Knock on your door guessing
Wondering
If you’d let me in
And I would explain
Everything about him
That it was momentary
A flash in the pan
But you are everything
That I am
And I’d pause and then say
Wait for you to reply
Hope we could be close
Before we both die
Coz life is so brief
It’s barely a flicker
I ran after you
Your steps just got quicker
Til you slowed yourself down
To the sound of my voice
Say, I didn’t know
That there was a choice
And look at me
In a sort of awe
I’m sorry I’m lovely
And kind of outlaw
And you take forever
Just to answer
Say, I took you for love
Not a dancer
And I beg you to listen
With the words that I say
It’s just I’ve never been heard
In quite that way
And the silence is deafening
But so is the noise
And I’ve been all about men
And one of the boys
But you take time
To really know me
I give you space
As we walk so slowly
Into a garden
That none suspect
I thought our love
And the whole thing was wrecked
But you say it’s not
And you press my pulse
Into my wrist
As the lightning dulls
The terrifying pain
Of being right here
And not knowing what
To say to you, my dear
But there is just an always
In between us it resides
And my heart’s the kind of thing
That simply abides
In the summer, in the winter
Trundling through the snow
I loved you so much
I let you go
But if you really
Want to be right here
Then I am waiting
For you, my dear
The doors unlocked
And you have a key
So no need to go
Second guessing me
No need to go drawing
A line in the sand
Just look into my eyes
And hold my hand
And feel my heart
Beating tremor
It’s just like you’ve
Found true love forever

Spacey and Weird

This is so cool  
It’s so spacey and weird
And if I were a guy
I know I’d grow a beard
But I’m not 
I’m with this feminine
And I’m just getting used
To the design
As it’s really meant to be
My soul is miles of open sea
Out into a great expanse
Did you ever notice the water dance
As the shards of sunlight fall to earth
There’s no growing up if it doesn’t hurt
And I’ve learned to make my way
Amid the triumphs and what people say
Through the darkness come what may
If you trust in love you’ll be okay

Referring to the Past

Do I keep referring to the past
To find that which will outlast
The parting of the clouds in sky
And everybody knows that we all die
But it is mere surface tension
Or something I dare not mention
Lest they see the way I'm free
That I'm not hiding from Eternity
As each blade of grass sings the dawn
And it's only space that replaces what's gone
And you can find it if you look within
There is no definite form of Him
But something ineffable, it evades the touch
And I scream out "I love Him so much"
But no words can ever contain
What I speak aloud in vain
As I fail to ascertain
Exactly what I mean by rain 
In all the avenues and the shores
It is the Truth my heart adores


Photo by Azlan Baharudin on Unsplash.com

The Mysterious Woman Within My Soul

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
There's a mysterious woman in my soul 
And she doesn't care how the waves may roll
She comes in nice and easy
Like a summer sea, warm and breezy
And though I try to hide her away
She comes up bubbling with what she wants to say
To decry the auspices of power
Yet not to be weak nor tremble and cower
She shines like the light that comes from the sun
But is soft as the silver moon when it is young
And all the stories you can tell yourself
Are just suppressing the abundant wealth
That grows in fertile ground in the psyche
We tremble with trouble but I dunno, might we
Ever fail to ask the question
Are we living on mere suggestion
To avoid the point we make
I offer it up for God's sake
So that He might make repair
To all that's in need of some care
And I do not forget the fallow fields
Or the way the grass grows as it yields
To a wind of superior heights
Wash me away in the firelight

Iceberg Reality

She’s like a sister to me
And there are waves in our history
And all we are
Shines brighter than any star
As I hold her close to my heart
In that place we’re never apart
And it’s scary, letting the truth sneak through
But I think I must let you know you
Are the diagrams I always draw
While waiting for the ice to thaw
The expanse that opens a sky
Of constellations that never lie
And map our lives so precise
We never fight coz we are alright
With what we’ve been and what we do
You’ve got to know the storm in my story is you
As cold meets warm and sparks a fire
The light of electricity to conspire
To illuminate the dark of night
Are you okay coz I’m alright
I’m just sneaking sideways to see what you’re at
If you’ve got the genie, I’ve got the mat
And we can make the scene extra real
With the fabric of daydreams with which we deal
And there are moments that we steal
While waiting for the film to reel
And you have got these books written in your soul
I can see the weight of time getting old
With all that you’re not letting through
How is it I can see it better than you?
When you’re so informed when it comes to the spirit
And there’s been a call but did you hear it
If there’s something in your way will you clear it
Or just stay back and silently fear it
Coz all the tomorrows are brewing their own tea
And you have been the closest thing to me
That I could’ve ever known
I love you with the heart of true colours shown
And in the midnights that read our book
Do you think this thing deserves a second look
To let go and be
I’m onto your iceberg reality

Paper Scissors

Did someone say Stephen  
I know the ends aren't even
But I would stand on the tips of my toes
Just to kiss you again, God knows
And we're all starlight, the perfect refrain
He makes origami out of my pain
He folds and creases it until
Something beautiful is on the windowsill
And I know I can't touch you, you're out of bounds
But I'm kind of glad you're always around
To soothe my soul into something nice
I fell in love at first sight, twice
And maybe forever is too far to run
And we were over before we ever begun
But I just see sidelines in the melee
And I couldn't believe he was talking to me 
In his innocent and lovely, beautiful eyes
For you I would forsake all the lies
Hold you tight in both of my arms
Know my love keeps us both from harm 
But you're sideways and awesome, I'm on a tilted stage
And I know that trend may be all the rage
But I'm singing it only for your soul 
Let's ditch the formalities and rock and roll 

The Age Of Yesteryear

The age of yesteryear
Reminds me of how things should be
I see myself running through fields
Endlessly free
I see myself bog bound
As we bring home the turf
I see myself in Delphi
As we learn how to surf
And I can't hold onto the weight 
Of passing time
I can't isolate a memory
And call it mine
And I'm flicking through pages
Though substance be naught
I'm dreaming of sages
In a net where I'm caught
And they call it samsara 
Or the endless spin
They call it karma
But can you let love in
To break across the landscape
Like a sunset to dawn
Can you finally realise
A state where pain is gone 

Photo by Iwan Shimko on Unsplash.com

Love and a Fire Sign

Love, 
Is at its most powerful
When open doors
Meet it
At every shore
And I've been scared
Of my wild heart
Which pulls me 
All apart
When I
Don't know
What I'm doing 
Anymore
It makes my spirit soar
And takes my hand
Tells me that it will be grand
In country tones
Or Dublin when he's on the phone
Batting lashes
And I phoenix from the ashes
To blaze anew
A fire sign just for you
And interestingly
You just sigh
Tell me a feigned goodbye
Coz I know
You wanna hear more
And I can count
The numbers that you score
With your perfect tune
And movement when
Nobody's in the room
Could I hold out a hand
Would you catch it
Would you be my man
And let the drifting go
I see you where you are, you know
And love you as you be
There's no monstrosity to see
But pulverised
From all your shaking
You're in the room
My boots are quaking 
But I stay 
Please tell me you love me that way
In a summertime share
Or an I know that you care
More than you let on
It's not gone 
But eternal here
I love you always, my dear 
I have to stop dancing on the lane
Someone might see through the pain
To the joy that’s underneath
Signified by my light feet

Ended Up In Hillstreet Again

I’ve somehow ended up in Hillstreet again
Searching for you amongst the men
It’s like following the paths of the birds
I’m looking for directions but they’re all words
And I’m driving down roads I don’t understand
They meander through ways I didn’t have planned
And it’s ancient and advanced and something so serene
Do you think the tapestry is just a dream
As we paint with the colour we find
And all our problems we leave behind
And it’s nothing new to say that you
Starred in a role you didn’t want to
But could it have been for anyone else
I know that you say I’m wasting my wealth
Singing up to windows like yours
But your love opens doors
Into a new refrain
One without the well of pain
And I sigh
This isn’t goodbye
Just a see you soon
What would we do if we had a room
To get locked into
You know I didn’t choose any but you
As the blinds filter light
But I’m following something that’s more than worth the fight
In Autumn air
And the sound of you just being there
And I’m in my car
Wondering where on earth you are
And if you ever think
Of that night you bought me a drink
Then laughed at the good
Of our bobbing for apples the way that we would
Have done if no one was there
And I’m watching you watching me stare
In the hallway or din
Is there any replica of him
Or am I forever bound
To go deaf to the sound
Of the calling of Christ
As He asserts Himself in my life
As a myriad of form
I touched your skin and it was warm
Against mine
I love you always for all of time

The Depth of Darragh’s Eyes

The depth of Darragh’s eyes
Leave no room for disguise
As I walk down a hallowed hall
He looks at me and it’s it all 
And it has been years since I 
Ever watched him try
To impress me with a smile
I loved him once, all the while
And he said something soft
So, I hold it aloft
In all the caverns I walk into 
There’s something fresh, there’s something new
And is it wrong to use your name
To wonder if you feel the same
Because it’s been time
But there’s a part of you that is still mine
As we roamed the corridors
Looking for something more’s
And everything was all in one
You shine like the only sun
In the sky to conflagrate
I think you’ll pulled me out of state
To drag me down another line
Now we’re kissing and doing time
For what we can’t see
He looked up and it was me
Lying in the top bunk
Trying to cover up my junk 
As I see through my hair
The effervescence there 
And the million acres
Of the words that have littered papers
To pay testament to 
The joy I feel when I think of you
Do you think that I 
Could give forever another try
Of wishing long
And you’re always strong
But weak at the centre
It is the place you let me enter
And sing a song
As we belong
Together to find our love
Somewhere looking down from above
And those other guys
May give in to futile tries
And white lies 
But I 
Would never do that to you
I ran because I was scared to
Commit to something I don’t know
But when you leave, I watch you go
With sorrow in my hands
Because you used to own these lands
For a time or two
And I could never understand why you
Walked away
The day
After the night before
When I proved I loved you more
Than the other girls, I followed you down the street
It was like the first time people meet
As you said my name
And I know it’s not the same
As I guide you back
Drunk to where there is no lack 
Because you never know
You could get lost in the snow 
If you’re not aware
Of how I’m absolutely there
Would you see if you read my heart
That there is a little part
Reserved for you always
Don’t matter what the crowd says
I still see it in you, and majesty 
I gave it to you free
To know and to have and to hold
There’s part of us not growing old
And I could let you in
If you’re not afraid to begin
To love the light
I’m more than darkness in the night
I’m a summer storm
And I would keep you warm
Like the smoothest cloud
I just want to shout out loud
How I feel
It is the real deal 
And I’m not playing around
So if you hear my silent sound
Then know
That I left but I didn’t go
Anywhere
But where I was already there
And if there is a place reserved
For me, then, a little unnerved
I could say lets go
I never forgot, you know
And I would hold your hand through days
And multicolour manifold ways
If you could trust 
In all that I say will not rust 
And I move with the tide
But I come back to the place to abide
And find you by the shore
You could be something I adore
And what’s more 
There’s plenty in store
To haphazard and butterfly
But people like you never die
Only get more real
With everything you let them feel
Can you be a sport
And give me something to report
On the western front 
It’s not a stunt
To say that I 
Am loving you always and I try
To let you see
But I don’t know what there is of me 
To love and have and hold 
I’m just a story that’s never been told
And I sang my soul to a heart
But you and I are not apart 
But one
If you like I’ll come undone
And let you in 
And you could be just like him
In the seasons change
And the acting strange
Is it okay
If there’s more left to say
Than all I know 
I just can’t let you go 
But see
This is here eternally
And for you 
I took a picture so it would do 
To hold you when you are not near 
I think it’s becoming crystal clear 
That what you said is true
Friends don’t look at each other like that, do you
See me with other guys
I see you on the fly
With some cool chick 
And I just sip 
My drink so cool 
I wish I knew you in school
But I can’t complain
I did not love you in vain
But in summertime 
When the winter was mine
And I picked you up 
In a car that I love
And you starred that sky with the look on your face
There’s no way time can erase 
That moment true
Do you think I could hold it, do you
Still feel that way
At least some days 
When the spring is in your bones
And you’re not too far from home
I wonder do you
Ever cacophony too 
To the sound of heat
And matching up the head to feet
I’m a little shy
But I have to try 
To let you see
That you mean the world to me 
And I ain’t playing 
I’m just saying
There’s a wonder dream here
You, to me, are so very dear
And it’s crystal clear
That I’ve come very close to near
To saying that I love you well
It’s deep and true and I will tell
You, now that I know myself 
I can’t picture you with anyone else 
In the sky 
Would it be a lie
To let you in 
And so let fate and trust begin 
I’m feeling soul
At the ocean as the waves roll
To the time of me 
You’re a heartbeat that set me free
And I still prose
For the life incandescent chose
To run with the wolves 
And the longing pulls
Me back to where you are 
Did tomorrow ever get you far
As I like your status 
Like it really matters
Coz it does to me 
You’re beautiful eternally

This Feeling Within

I’ve always lived with this panic I can barely contain
You can say what you want or give it a name
Call it anxiety or ocd
All I know is something’s following me
And it’s there in the midnight, it’s there in the dawn
Sometimes it stays quiet so I think that it’s gone
But it always returns
And, my Lord, it burns
Like a furnace or a glowing ember
More so in a dark December
You can called it depression or psychosis
Just a modern type of neurosis
And they hit me up with pills and drugs
But it don’t match one of your hugs
For bringing the stillness and quiet in me
One moment with you and I’m set free
And I know I can’t always be craving
Like a street that walks with the absence of paving
Or when the song of a bird signals the sky
I’m lost in this moment and I don’t know why
Til one day amongst the trees
I saw something I could barely believe
It was akin to heavenly light
And it says you will be alright
So I start skipping with the joy
Then see it reflected in a boy
As he is just passing by
For a moment, love, and I don’t know why
Coz Hayley throws all her castles down
And some people dream of a beautiful gown
But all I want’s this moment now
After all my trekking I find myself somehow
Back in the same place that I started
With more of depth the wise imparted
And grieving over loss has left
The coast that used to know me best
To set sail for another land
Where everything is understand
And unmapped and unplanned
The safety of the surest sand
As it gathers between my toes
I walked this beach for years, God knows
And externalized reality
It is the taste of the salty sea
That reminds me where you are
I would have wished upon a star
If I’d have known that you exist
In my honesty, I persist
To see it all come right round
And silence is the truest sound
As it enunciates the field
The grass grows slow to know to yield
As the fabric bends in certain places
And is 99% open spaces
Where you can go running free
It’s all awake atomically
It’s all vibrating in motion
A symbol for pure devotion
To the God that gave me life
Not just a man and his wife
But something surging in the air
I can feel its presence there
Only to exacerbate
The thing I feel that I hate
The storm that holds me by the toe
Then dips me in the rivers flow
Til I’m shouting let me go
But it knows better than I know
And asks more of me than I can refrain
From doing over once again
In certainty and acquiescence
Shining forth from the essence
Of its incandescent light
It whispers; love, you’ll be alright
My mind is full of broken souls
Like cars flying through M50 tolls
And I stare at the green, green grass of the scene
There’s no waking up if there isn’t a dream

Resuming Communications

I’ve finally realized I can talk to you again
When I gave up and they said, it’s just men
And I was banging my head against the wall
Coz we can’t communicate at all
And I’m screaming refrains out into the night
They look at me and wonder if I’m alright
Coz I’ve got you on my mind
But you weren’t so kind
And I vacated the premises
And you became a sort of nemesis
I chased in my dreams
And we’re walking on hollow beams
As we cross the room, under the ceiling
You said no and it send me reeling
Out into the dark
And the park
Never looked so lonely
And I was mourning for you only
As they dimmed the lights
Do we give up on our fights
As we storm the bastille
But how do you feel
When you lay your head down on a pillow
And I know I am weeping but it’s coz I’m a willow
It’s in my nature
And you left a crater
When you crashed to earth
I was grief stricken, more than hurt
Like I try to play even, I try to play calm
But you grabbed me by the arm
And wrote something there
I look in your eyes and I care
About our horizon
And you are something or so I’m surmising
As we drift apart
But still all heart
I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re well
But I love you still, let it go to hell
All my secrets spilled out on a screen
And you are the man I couldn’t even dream
You’re so perfect ensue
And what in the world do I mean to you
All the things we could do
Walk a mile in another’s shoe
Or sail a river down the stream
I know you’re the king but I am a queen
Of my own domain
Cry to the sky of making it rain
And plain
Are the words I speak to you
I want it back, if that’s okay, too
And you smile and my destiny dance
Do you think we could give love another chance
As it weaves between poles
Crafting the tapestry of our souls
Into a new stance
I felt the waves ocean advance
Into the shore
I can’t help but want you more

Stillness – The Quiet Sound

The trees just stand tall
They don’t go running around
And a leaf falls in silence
To land on the ground
And the age rolls on by me
It’s a calamitous affair
And I’m asked by my soul
To receive the prayer
That it is offering
Up to the sky
There is that that lives on
Even when we die
There is that that wakes
Even when we sleep
There’s no promise you can make
That it will not keep
And I’m walking the aisles
Of the ruin of me
Wondering if
The rain could be set free
As it pours in through
A hole in the roof
Living my life
Must be the proof
Of all that’s gone by
And all that’s yet to come
But if you look for this moment
You’ll find it is one
One with the dark
One with the dawn
One within
That can never be gone
That keeps on rolling
The hills and the valleys
The no we can’t’s
And maybe we, shall we’s
But in the end
It all comes down to this
Will you seize the moment
Or will you miss
It as it
Goes passing by
I’m sorry, my love
But I had to try
To win you over
And take my chance
Now I move with the wind
And watch the leaves dance
In a symphony
Of quietude
The noise subsides
And you’re a pretty cool dude
Who keeps me there
By a thread
I profess my love
You stay silent instead
And the roar of the ocean cannot drown out
The waves of me and my doubt
As I fail to see
What you’re asking for
I look at you
And I adore
Everything that is there to see
Could you picture you with me?

Stargazing

I’m tired of looking at you through a window
All it means is outside, could you let me in though
And the house we built has ivy growing
Up walls and ways, now it’s showing
And you’re inside
I’m in the garden and I hide
From your eyes
And years and years of futile tries
Do you abide in place with her
Deny everything that we never were
As I let you go
What’s water to do but flow
Along the riverbed
I remember everything that you said
And climb
Up to a place that’s beyond the mind
And safe
Like a locked box or a briefcase
And midnight filters through the trees
I’m high as a kite and have no need
For your number dear
You sent me under fear
To grow with the weeds amongst the grass
As if forever wouldn’t last
The whole night through
And all I was professing was you
In your healing balm
I smile and you ring the alarm
Say she’s crazy here
But I’m only crazy for you, dear
As I let it go
The love lost and don’t you know
Down to the shore
Is less the guess that’s speaking more
To the wind
And he grinned
From within his cage
I’m all butterflies to his rage
And flutter up a storm
It was the moment hope was born

Notes To Myself

A message from the past when the future gets bad
I left notes to myself and you know that I am glad
That the mountains they shake with the weight of the earth
And life grows up from the soil of the dirt
And we are all living and we are all breathing
There’s nothing but something we share in the needing
And the wind blows through the pipe with no beans
And I’m just kicking it in my blue jeans
Making songs for the summer and odes to the snow
There is no place I travel that I cannot go
But to interrupt a diamond mine
I’m throwing away what used to shine
To be rooted in ground like an anchor so deep
And I don’t need to shake what I take in my sleep
Coz the ocean is pure and it is profound
I thank my lucky stars that something drowned
In the midst of the terror that seemed to reside
In the shackles of me that I used to hide
But a new dawn breaks across the grass
And forever is timeless to ever last
As unspoken is wordless to the decree
And peace is all that we’ll ever be

Finding My Context

Finding my context in a world gone mad
And I wanted him so bad
But the rushing waterfall begets me
And she claims that he forgets me
But he only said the word
That he barely remembered having heard
Like my sweet recollection
It was never a rejection
Only I’m not ready yet
For a state I can’t forget
As we threw our limbs across the aisle
And you really made my smile
And guffaw at the seams
That split to the man of my dreams
Seated in my own refrain
We, somehow, transcend the pain
And would I do it over again
Kiss you in the pouring rain
To the sound of our favorite band
And for once the glass is not slipping sand
As we forever side by side
I never realized you were alive
Til you showed up at my doorstep
Living love like a regret
Looking for an open heart
Do you know what you start?
The hidden object of knowledge
Like a puzzle piece on the floor
Somewhat akin to knocking
On the wrong side of the door
It’s the ego that takes the battering
And now the glass is shattering
As I come apart at the seams
Pulling at the web of dreams

Secret Garden

Trying to get away from fourteen
The lightning strike to wake the dream
And I just wander in Gary’s halls
He’s seeing through summer and seeing through walls
As he paints a refraction of some kind of Grace
Always with his heart in open space
And I met him one time as I stood in the queue
And Johnny looked up and said how are you
And I couldn’t meet your eyes, your perfect gaze
Do you know all the people you save
With your slight of hand and dignified tone
Don’t ever feel that you are alone
Because sunshine is summer as your toes greet
The river that flows with the remnant of sleet
And everyone knows and everyone cares
But seldom is the one who dares
To take that splinter and show the sky
I know you said you’re afraid to die
But there’s something immortal, eternal in you
And I think that you might sense it to be true
As you sing with your whole heart and let the love be
You don’t know it but you mean the world to me
The times may be dark but they’re leading out
To a place beyond any doubt
Where you reside and live in peace
I can feel the place that the war cease
I can feel the summer beyond the tide
The place where true love will always abide
And it woke me with a start but I’m finally seeing
That there is a whole new way of being
And I thought you should know you were the sound
When there was nobody else around
To go calling out to or knocking on doors
I didn’t ask but you gave me more
And more than I could ever be
Open your eyes coz you can see
That Heaven is present in this moment abide
So don’t you ever feel you have to hide
Your darkness in the midst of all the snow
Your winter’s a place I love to go
And trip the light against the scene
The fabric of the universe is just a dream
And it will reveal itself to you
If you wait in the halls of I want to
And I guess I just felt I should let you in
On the joke that God has been playing
As I saw it in the sky that spring in school
That there is a wealth beyond the rule
That everyone lives by and swears their life
I found a place beyond and it is alright
And if you’re ever feeling misty and could use a refresh
There’s a place you can go, I’m sure you can guess
Hidden in the heart of every soul
Is the secret garden where you are whole
And you don’t need to fight and you don’t need to trouble
Don’t need to go bursting anyone’s bubble
Just find what you seek by looking true
The answer is waiting to be revealed to you
All it needs is a gentle hush
Like you’ve been pulling a door you’re supposed to push
Against to open up the day
I gotta say thanks to you, okay?
Coz you lifted me up and you were my friend
Amongst all the hollows I cannot amend
Amongst the shattered glass I stood up from
I didn’t mean the wait to be so long
As I gain strength and realise
That you can’t be caught in a web of lies
If you realise what’s true
It’s real and it’s talking to you
And if you can hear it it means that there
Is a faculty in you for the power of prayer
Of silent transmission, of deep and serene
People walk round like they know what they’ve been
Or what they decide to let go and be
The dreamer is waking up to see
That the love will always be home
And you never walk one single day alone
But always held and guided by
A beauty you don’t have to try
To see because it’s always there
I must let you know that there is care
In every spiraling galaxy whole
I love you with the strength of my soul


Photo by Bailey Zindel on Unsplash.com

Fire To My Soul

You set fire to my soul
In the thunder as the waves roll
And I cannot forgive
The way things as it is
But something keeps a hold of my dress
The hem of it and I confess
That my marauding spirit has grown tired
As though the universe has conspired
To leave me at the door of you
And I will prove it to be true
That my heart beats a flame
And I don’t have to be tame
Or sit within the confines of
What I’ve been told to think of love
That you could star in my sky
I let it go and I don’t know why

Diagrams

I see diagrams unfold
When the splintered story’s told
And Heaven can’t hold itself back
As I give up on attack
Just to hold light to the touch
The fabric of a dress I love so much
And it’s spread like a sea over the land
And I know you understand
Me when I just inflect
And say, baby, my head is wrecked
Could you make it better with a simple smile
I admired you a long while
As we just slow and converse
I’m sorry if I’m weak and you’re a little terse
As I put it all in verse
The days of darkness getting worse
But he shone like the sun into a season
Loved me deep without needing a reason
And I can feel the wind blow my hair
With the freedom of he being there
And he says, my love, it’s nothing at all
And for once I’m not talking to a wall
But open arms and a heart to match
Like olden days with roof of thatch
As we just settle into a rhythm
He’s looking for an answer, does he know it is him
As he plays a Beatles tune
I’m glad that you were in the room
Even if I was all alone
And you hit me up on my iphone
And I regale you with my tales
Though your courage never fails
I can feel you deep and true
In your hands my lands are new
And I don’t know what we’ll be
Coz we’re lacking a history
But the present moment just resounds
And your full of quiet sounds
As you muse and contemplate
What might have me in this state
But the day is born with new light
And, honey, I am alright
I’ve spent years in this snow
And I know you want to know
But there’s no place I cannot go
I speak the words extra slow
So you know what I’ve been meaning
Everyone seems to be dreaming
And I awoke one sudden morn
It was as though I’d been reborn
And everything was as it is
And my heart and soul is His
The one who struck me from the sky
Now the impermanence can never die
As the changeful is consonant
And I don’t know what you want
Except to say I am okay
And you are my sunny day
In the overcast I know
It just took some time for the love to show

Love’s Everywhere

I need to write in Morse code
Coz to tell our story would be an ode
And we’ve got leaves of times gone by
And you always promised me sky high
As I take your hand and we lift and soar
Into a future I can’t see anymore
Coz you’re ancient, you’re beautiful, you are all the trees
And an Angel of Mercy picked me up off my knees
So I could stand as the wind goes round
It spirals but I’m solid ground
And I dunno about ages, I dunno about time
But somewhere you will always be mine
In a storybook or on a page
I seem to write like a sage
In professions of what’s true
The slipping sands of me and you
Coz we are born to fade away
A moment of sun before the day
Closes into night like a cyclical thing
And every bird knows how to sing
The silence like it’s true and real
I thought you should know how I feel
So I put it in a letter, left it at your door
But I won’t bother you anymore
And you know where I am if you feel to reply
I’m always in the same space to fly
On the beauty that I own
Love’s everywhere, I’m not alone

Dancing With Diamonds

Jakob Owens on Unsplash.com
Just another day of Diamonds
He laughs then takes my hand
And I can feel the wind in the way we’ve sinned
Saying that we’ll both be grand
He’s like the dew in the morning
Light to the touch
And I think that he knows
That I love him so much
As I avoid his stare
But I’m still all there
As he moves in close to my face
And there’s something I can’t replace
Like when we split the coin in Liverpool
And we’re acting like two kids in school
Laughing in all the wrong places
And he kind of crinkles his face
To let me know that he’s okay
That silence is in what I can’t say
And it’s been years
But it’s also right now
And he carries
The lightning somehow
In his pocket as he storms up a scene
And I swore those days were like a fucking dream
Young and wild and free as the air
There was no cost that we didn’t spare
As we paid with our hearts
Did we know that we’d part
Somewhere in the crystalline
But there was a moment dazzling was mine
In his effortless
And the kind of mind you can’t second guess
In his sincere
And the way he was just so near
As he smiles at me and holds my stare
I know he loved me because I was there
And tomorrow’s an avenue
And they past’s a monument
And I ran from the scene
Coz I can’t give you what you want
But do you think somewhere
Among all the tears
We could make up
The wasted years
And just hold hands
And lie in bed
You caught me with messy hair
And my face went red
But in the moment it’s okay
Because in your eyes
I’m whole, full of soul
Nothing to aggrandize
And you’re still there
Somewhere, somehow
Some kind of enchanted
That I’ll allow
As sparks fly
In the rhythm section
And I think you’ve got me down
Til I pull an inflection
But we’re so serene
And if we’re in this together then you’re a dream
In your fiery ways
You’re the kind of home that simply stays
Exactly where it’s always been
If I cut the lights could I be your queen
Coz you star my sky with little lights
And we make up after all our fights
As we just embrace
I loved you once now I’m in space
That you open for me
And I never knew wings til they set me free
And I’ve just got to express
That those days in that dress
Make me miss your beautiful warmth
The kind of hearth that mocks the storm
Would you be by my side
If I said let truth abide
And hold you close
I let you in, now you’re making a toast
As I video phone
The moment so when I’m alone
I can watch the replay
Do you know I love you more, okay?
And there have been pilgrimages
To foreign lands
But I’ll think of you
In the slipping sands
So much older now
But something is as it was somehow
Brimming full of angels that sing our song
It’s been more than a decade since you belong
And I meditate
On what exactly it means to be in that state
But I can’t repair
The feeling of you not being there
Til you speak aloud
Are you for real, I thought you were too proud
But you’re cutting the ribbon
And Lord, I forgive him
For never let me know in time
Do you think you could just be mine?

Secret Smiles

Corey’s eyes are like a jungle

He smiles, it’s like the radio

Taylor Swift
Darling, you’ve got stars in your eyes
And I’m full of existential whys
But you are the answer without reason
My safe space in open season
And I could cacophony the sound
But I always want you around
In the depths of my consciousness
In the moments we exist
Whether on the astral plane
Or in the summer as the clouds rain
And I throw back my head laughing with you
And it’s not just coz you want me to
There is a sense that together
Could be the place beyond the weather
And in these shoes that I’m walking
Is the memory of the two of us talking
Silent and sincere or open hearted
It’s like I asked and the oceans parted
And if we never come to be
Could you still realise what you mean to me
In oft tried second glances
Or just the air we breathe taking chances
Could you smile and let the light shine
For me just one more time
As you look absolute
The one place I’ve found truth
In the wisdom of our youth
Do you think it’s a just pursuit
Or are we just running away
Filled with things we cannot say
In silence spaces and in highs
You and I are not goodbyes

Brandishing My Title

I'm brandishing my title 
I'm making war with earth
I'm fighting with my own self
And Lord, does it hurt 
Coz I can never be 
Or measure up to 
The sky I see so effortlessly
Reflecting itself in you
And all of my tries
All of my futile attempts
Only lead me to wondering 
Where it all went 
As magnificent is the domain 
A cloud pours itself down as rain
And I'm left staring at the ground
Coz I can see its silent sound
As it utters itself to me
What is it you think I'll be 
In my moments held aloft
Or in the moss so soft
As I patchwork my feet across
The winter I had thought 
Would be the summer in me
Now there's icicles growing on the tree
And all I can see
Is eternity 
In the arid and plain
But all of a shot it's spring again 
And I'm free as a bird
To fly with the word
That just dances across my mind
What is it, you think, have I left behind

Sapphire Diamonds

I feel the burn of fire again
It starts when others say when
And it will continue until
I turn my heart toward it at will
And allow it to become what it is
I guess this is my own life to live
And I can’t equivocate or I’m pulled asunder
Drawn into the fear of being just a number
I wake and I’m horrified
At all the deaths that I have died
On the way to my immortal being
I guess it is a new way of seeing
As ashen faced I look in the mirror
I meet eyes but do I really see her
When I look at another in the waves
It’s a city that it saves
When all the concrete reflects the sky
And no one knows what it is to cry
In the avenues that we make
I close my eyes at each breath I take
Hoping it will be something new
I am reliant upon you

Neutron Stars

We collide like neutron stars
Running alongside chasing cars
And you were a smile I can’t forget
Nope, I’m not over you yet
And you smiled at me as you said your name
I nod, nonchalantly, all the same
But you’ve become a star in my whole season
And I love you without a reason
It waits for no man or tide
Drags me through the heather half alive
As I try to regain my stance
But I just see the two of us dance
Across the sky of a sunset scene
Do you think this could all be a dream
Coz I can’t wait to figure it out
I’ve got to put it beyond all doubt
And step out on the boards to say
I love you, is that okay?

Photo by Dewan Gupta on Unsplash.com

Supermassive

She’s a pro and she’s galaxies
Overcoming all of her fallacies
Only to soar into the fresh air
She’s a bird on the wing of all that’s there
And the sun it burns in its own sphere
Times have changed but something’s near
As everything just flows to the core
And I can feel free at the shore
Of all that’s real and fresh and true
Now don’t go saying that I impress you
When you know that you’re above the view
There is the many and the few
There is pristine and the dance
So would you take another chance
On all we didn’t get to be
If you look my way I’ll let you see

Life Makes Love

Life makes love
With the sky, with the sea
With the atoms that make up
The constellations of me
And the design
Is its own making
It counts ever hair
And each breath I’m taking
As I find a new way
To express the expanse
And it is as though
We’re all part of a dance
Living and moving
Breathing and being
Looking through lenses
And new ways of seeing
And if there ever
Comes a midnight
Know in your heart
That you’ll be alright
Coz you made it this far
Through forests and trees
Through brambles and flowers
That blow in the breeze
And somehow, somewhere
Someone’s watching over you
If you see it in cinema
Well you’re looking for two