(Trigger Warning - grief)

Do I have to always love you screaming in the rain
And do I equate death with pain
Coz he took you far too soon
Now I’m just crying in my room
Slamming my head against the wall
And no one knows at all
But it doesn’t bring you back
Just prepares me for another attack
Of grieving waves of trauma
And it’s been so long, you
We’re taken in my early teens
Before the cross and the man of my dreams
And I try to stand up and measure the line
But I keep remember thinking you were fine
And if I just prayed
You could’ve stayed
But it’s midnight and you’re both by my side
Why is this side of me something I hide
Coz I feel so much peace in a church
It kind of stills the way I hurt
And I light a candle for you
Almost as if you asked me to
And I sat by your side in your wheelchair at Knock
And you were always steady as a rock
You never faltered, you just bore it all
And I stood in the waterfall
So we both were there
And so you might know I care
But the whisper cracks my voice
And it’s no one’s choice
And it seems unfair
But can I be grateful for what you were spared 
And somewhere in oblivion we will touch again
I’ll call your name like love will never end
And you’ll wrap me in your arms so tight
And tell me that everything’s alright
And soothe that storm I own
I call your name like you’re my 
home