Tag: awareness

Let’s Not Repeat The Past

.Reading time 4 minutes.
Violence seems to have been endemic 
As one fights the other for what they have
And there’s oceans of pain
Touching the land
Let’s not repeat the past
Where brother fights brother
There’s no “civil” war
It’s always hurting another
And there are parts of the world
Where they cannot eat
Why don’t we provide 
Instead of pound our feet
On pavements grey
As blank as our souls
How could we leave sisters and others
To the cold
Coz we have the capacity
The ingenuity 
To grow out of
What we’re told to be 
As I stare at my phone
To find an answer
But they said it better
Human as dancer
And we’ve all got spirit
We’ve all got heart
And there are people 
Who can’t stand to be apart
And others who know
In the depths of their being
That this story we live
Is just something we’re seeing
And we can grow tall
But when we wake up
We see that it was 
All held in love
And dynamic as breathing
Is the answer to all that we’re needing
And I’m from a nation 
That’s been beaten and bruised
Slaves for another
Is how we were used
As we till our land 
Then hand over
The bread that we need
That’s some four leafed clover
And there’s defiance and pride
There’s anger and rebel
But fighting the evil
Only sends you to hell
As we can attest
After all the years
Centuries
Of crying tears
And growing up
Found me strong
But I was always too prone
To point out the wrong
And it found me in a room
With my head in my hands
Attesting to
All those slipping sands
But adversity made me
And now I can stand
And say that under the storm
There’s land
That will hold steady
Under your feet
And they grow the crop
But they can’t eat
As we use and usurp
The imbalance we own
There’s no hiding it
It’s commonly known 
So how do we change
What seems so entrenched
Do you ever run out
In rain and get drenched 
To you ever just feel
The wind on your skin
Can you let go
Can you let it begin? 
As the motion of movement
The breath of change
Gathers all the atoms
And will rearrange
If we’re just willing
To be the avenue
The vehicle
That was given to you
Where is your heart
Your purpose right here
What do you love
What do you hold dear
Can you be total
In what you do
Or is life just a drag
That is pulling on you
Lowly and heavy
In deadening sound 
After years in the snow
Did we finally hit ground
And can we make 
Our castles on rock
Or maybe create
Something that’s not
Ever been heard of
Or ever been seen
What’s your personal legend
What is your dream
Can we reverse
The damage we’ve made
As a child I was
Always safe in the shade
But there are people who labour
In the hot sun
Others that live
And die by the gun
There’s got to be other ways
Than what we’ve created
I see life as abundant 
Though it’s already been stated
That we’re transforming 
Into a new species 
Graciousness
Replacing facetious 
Can we be aware
Of the fire in our soul
The substratum 
That is effortlessly whole
As we beat our own hearts
As one people united
I let go of the war
Coz I cannot fight it
I let go of the hatred
Coz it is defeated
And I found Truth 
Though I cannot speak it
It just announces itself
In silent tones
And I found teachers
On iPhones
From one trouble
To a Saviour 
Do you think you could
Love your neighbour 
As yourself
Is it underway
I think I see light
At the break of day



Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.com

Forever And A Day

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I’d wait for you forever
Forever and a day
Love you unconditional
Baby, come what may
And I know you’ve got your attitude 
I know you’ve got your pride
And I have a tendency 
To run away and hide
But I can see us in the morning
When the sun kisses the sky
Among the waves of clouds
And wondering the reason why
And I know you’ve got your love
I know you’ve got your heart
It’s just I don’t think that we
Should ever be apart
But shine like a diamond
In a twofold connect
I don’t think the earth
Has seen the best of us yet
Coz I am full of fire
And red vibrancy
You’re as blue as the ocean
And as deep as love can be
And together we make something
That could only free
I tried to push the point
Coz I don’t think that you see
And you call me revolutionary
A laid back rebel soul
I call you like the chasm
That is the waves to roll
And everything is scorching 
But it’s also pretty cool
I see you like the summer
We met after school
Just laughing on the bus
As we made our way back
I didn’t give you a reason
For you to hide what you lack
Coz everything is seen
In this closeness that we wear
We’re tangled up like Spiderman 
In the cobwebs of my hair
And it’s just a dream I’m having
Or it’s on the astral plane
But you come to call
Over and over again
And I can’t keep you out
From the warmth in my heart
I don’t know why I’d want to
But I think we’re gonna start
To make something as real
And as beautiful as true
I didn’t tell you at the time
But I’m madly in love with you

The Thunder and the Silence

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The thunder rolls and the ground trembles
It’s all of me that it disassembles 
As I’m unmade a storm
And the heat of your beat keeps my heart warm
And the stars come out to light your night
I wipe my tears coz I’m alright
But I’m missing you now days are long
And I cry but I’m still strong
Coz I don’t show how I let it hit
I keep it in coz I’m good at it
And it’s only in my room that I break down
Let it out and go to town
And there’s an ocean all around
If you listen carefully you can hear the sound
Of the tide against the rocks
I wake up and it stops
And suddenly in a moment I’m free
And there seems to be some kind of light shining from me
As vibrantly I intone
Whether with someone or all alone
So I praise my Saviour
You know you were the one who raised her
Up from the mess she lay
You show me love and I’m okay
And it’s all I can do not to shout your name
Now that I know you it’s not the same
And I just radiate the glow
That you gave to me, you know
And it’s as true as the Sun
As bright as you are the One
And I kneel coz I’m young
And the down days are done
In one fell swoop you reside
I’m coming out of the darkness in which I hide
And let the light permeate
If it’s the Now, why wait? 



Photo by Matti Johnson on Unsplash.com

Runaway Stars

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I fall in love with a ten
Then resolve to never see them again
Because is to love to be caught
Is to give the same as bought
As he smiles and I see in his eyes
The dawn of a new sunrise
So I click escape on the dial
Say I was with you for a while
And for the first time someone doesn’t mind
Say I know you don’t leave behind
What you hold in your steady heart
I’ve trusted you from the start
And I am pulled back into his gaze
I don’t need you to try and save
Me but could you hold still
While I let you see my deepest will
That love be shared and all adored
Coz he said no and I was floored
But I picked myself up from where I lay
I smiled at you and it’s okay
And you’re just talking really fast
But we got time, this is gonna last
Though I don’t know how, where or when
But I know I’m gonna see you again
And the map is full of uncharted places
You are deep and you make spaces
For all and everyone
And I’m okay but I’m not done
See I’ve got to show you the sky
The patterns where the Heavens lie
As they unfold from above
And everything I see is love
Not just a moment or two
But every second I spent with you
Do you think you could love me free
So I can be who I’m meant to be
And profess my ardent devotion
In a quiet space without commotion 
Do you think I could mean to you
Exactly what I want to
Or are the days all for passing
My attempts just harassing
You from the place where you stare
I just know that you were there
In the full fledged of an open heart
Can I tell you the truth and let it start
As we both breathe in the air
I’m just trying to be fair
To you now that I’m wild and free
I don’t know if you can rely on me
But he brushes my fraught attempts aside
Says that he can see me hide
And I don’t have to run away
I can be shy coz that’s okay
That it’s alright not to know
To be unsure where you go
But full of heart without reason
It’s every day that makes a season
It’s every night that makes a week
It’s in the silence you don’t speak
As he offers me his steady hand
Says you can trust the place we stand
You can let a garden grow
I look at him and just know
That I can let my diamond shine
He’s been there for me all this time

The Social Anxiety

.Reading time 1 minute.
The feeling of panic when I’m talking to people
I’m much more at home under a steeple
Praying to God for all that could be 
But I’m so far from normal and I think they can see
And is it just ego to say I’m afraid
That I spend the whole day in the shade
Just to avoid what I’m speaking of
I refract diamonds and call it love
And do I just make small what’s colossal inside
Run away from eyes and hide
Until someone finds me behind the curtain
I’m sorry for weakness and all the hurting
I’m sorry for being unusually proud
Defiant and brave as I say it out loud
That it’s okay and I see you too
I want everyone to know it so that they see through
The veneer of strong that I put off
We are one people and all is not lost
And everyone’s got something that they keep secret
But I’m gonna tell it instead of keep it
Like a story that’s been too long in the dark
A tree whose leaves are as bright as its bark
Even in the winter snow
I love a lot so I let it all go


Photo by Bernardo Artus on Unsplash.com

Abidance

.Reading time 1 minute.
I feel like I’m out of the loop
Now that I’m no longer sitting on the stoop
Like a lonesome bird
And what are the words that you think you have heard
Coz it all spiraled out of my control
When I tried to capture your soul
And you rebelled with a defiant stance
How dare I ask you to dance
But there was just this music, you mustn’t hear it
It’s beautiful and it crystal clears it
As the vision is foggy in the car
I still have no sense of what you are
Coz you defy definition in your design
And you are good looking, if you don’t mind
And I just want to write a tome to your earth
The reality that could never hurt
As you assuage
And I get really mad
But it’s no good
You still leave like I thought you would
But what I don’t understand 
Is how any of this could’ve been preplanned 
Or destiny
I watch you like you’re there for me
Though you move to the side
I stay on my own and abide

Questions For God

.Reading time 6 minutes.
I trudged through the snow
I am miserable or don’t you know
No reply
Why on earth does everyone die
My feet crunch the ground
I savor the essence of unreciprocated sound
I mumble aloud
And relish the silence away from the crowd
And grumble two tone
Why do you always leave me alone?
It’s always like this
Together for a moment and then you just miss
All the ways you felt complete
The gravel groans beneath my feet
As I haul the bin up the hill
If only love was an effort of will
I could turn this around
But emptiness is the only sound
And I cherish the day
He looked in my eye and then looked away
It’s in a video reel
And for years anger is all that I feel
How dare you take him away
There’s no point reaffirming that he cannot stay
But the eyes are all empty as I look for a reason
A kind of vacancy that is all out of season
Perhaps my misery
Will prove how much he meant to me
But the anguish just twists
And I merely coexist 
With the essence of death
Counting each in and out of my breath
Or heartbeat
It’s iambic pentameter against my feet 
Anyway
I don’t believe in what they say
They’re all crying
And then proclaim Heaven is for the dying

Flashback, it’s been twenty years
So I question my thoughts and dry my tears
To the age of youth
And the darkness of day the sun didn’t suit
But I found him there, among the ashes and the rubble
He looked at me and burst my little bubble
And I give thanks to what once I hate
The God of Love to make me irate
By stealing all I could call my own
I’m lying in bed and praying for home
But it never comes
Oh, the trauma of being young
I’m undone
And somehow I feel this song has been sung
By someone
Years before I begun
It’s getting old
Like the body I hold
And the days are all long
Then suddenly short
And all of the principles that I exhort
Prove to be vain
And I stand outside in the pouring rain
To catch the air
Do you believe in the power of prayer
To let go into
Can I be
Something more
Than destiny
Because this body I wear
Is all athletic and long brown hair
Do you resonate
With what is only a temporary state
We’re all on the move
From the moment of spark to the point that I prove
What have you got to lose
Only the worldview you live to excuse
What don’t you settle here
Under a tree as it breathes you clear

I snap out of it
Is to give in the same as to quit
And I’m going with it
A sort of defiance I never admit
But the beer bottle’s empty and I’m reaching for wine
I am the queen of a helluva time
But really it’s empty coz I cannot decide
Which stop is my own if this life is a ride
I breathe in the air
And think of the way he suddenly stare
A moment out of time
Like immortal just stepped out of line
And my gumption and war
I don’t know what this is for 
As I twirl his name
On my fingernails like it’s just the same
As yesterday
He pierced the veil then went away
And I love him so
But goodbyes around every corner, you know
And I wish and hope
He’s found someone real, something cool, something dope
But anyway
Returning to that which I cannot say
It hit me like light
And set a fire to ignite
And I’m all the trees
The wood of could you ever believes
And I see his face
A recognition no time could erase
To be angry at God
Give him back to me again, oh Lord
But it doesn’t work that way
Apparently and what I say
Falls on deaf ears
And is it just temper to coax the tears
Until I can’t stop them and they pour as rain
I’m awake in the night all over again
To be left behind
Is to spend some time trapped in your mind

But He woke me up
And He called that love
Though I can’t express
What I’m thinking of 
Caught in a decider
So perfectly fate
And the present moment
Means you don’t wait
But I’m always counting time
On the watch, on the clock that isn’t mine
Do you think it could be
That we all live eternally
In some dimension
In a realm of time that by extension 
Means we don’t have to suffer
And I’m always thinking of her
And what I’ve lost
I sob til the tears exhaust
My futile will
It’s everything that must fill
The pail of water to the brim
I remember when it was the two of them
Under the sun
By the gate
They wouldn’t approve 
Of me in this state
But how am I
To know the reason that they die
If I don’t weep
It’s kind of like some bargain I keep
But it’s letting me go
The pain and the suffering you know
And pay testament to
The Heavenly I found in you
And remember quiet
That I don’t have to try to defy it
Only surrender
Maybe love is what I engender

The Tough Girl Image

.Reading time 1 minute.
I keep it all on lock
But I can never be what I am not
I click my tongue 
I’m impervious and I am young
Til the facade cracks
And I’m all lost in I can’t have you backs 
As the days age
And I spill ink upon a page
Or burn a little sage
Oh, to demonstrate what I feel is true
Lost in a dream of me and you
Or us and them
I run the film clip all over again
When I stride through halls
Now I renovate and knock down walls
Do you love me true
Coz I found myself with all of you
And I can let the refrain
Cancel out the years of pain
Why do I hold on
To what is already gone
And deny what’s here
The water in the lake is crystal clear
As it reflects the sky
Why in the world must everything die
Only to be reborn
I was the earth outside of the storm
The solid ground
As the wind twists the air into sound
It reverberates
Like a glacier that equates
Ice with movement, don’t you know
But there are places it can’t go
As it meets the sea
I’m more than what appears of me


Photo by Pietra Schwarzler on Unsplash.com

Reflections

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Do I trust in thin air
Coz you are gone but you’re still there
And, man, you know how to stare
As I run my fingers through my hair
It’ll never work
And I don’t want you to get hurt
But it’s so frustrating 
Coz we aren’t even dating
But I saw you see the Sublime
When you looked away from mine
Into your own
And you know the flower’s grown
Since last you saw it
A lotus petal attempts to thaw it
As spring comes after winters cold
And though I said it you weren’t told
Coz it didn’t sink in
And you’ve just got this unearthly grin
And I’ve stopped staring at the diamond mines
Dunno what you’ve been doing all this time
You could be married or have a child
D’you remember the days we both were wild 
It’s long gone now
And you’re conventional somehow
As I skip stones to prove I was right
You said you just didn’t want a fight
But it all dissolved
And, fuck it, you know it’s never solved
As I rest my head against a wall
Trying to forget my own freefall
Into open air and space
I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t taste
The honey sweet in the jar
But I still don’t know what you are
In your mystery 
Could we be more than history
Some kind of friends
Coz I’m in a canoe, you’re the riverbend
And I just sail
In the wind and in the hail
You’re the one true light without fail
You kinda broke me outta jail
Into open fields
The wind blows and the wheat it yields
It just gives way
There’s so much that I didn’t say
But owe to you
I don’t think you know what to do
But neither do I
Though I’ve seen that which doesn’t die
The deathless realm
It’s its own ship and at the helm
Are all the things you didn’t do
I meant it when I trusted you

Supernova Dreams

.Reading time 1 minute.
All I know about you is your page
And that you used to love rage
But I don’t know where you’re at now
There’s a distance between us somehow
And I don’t want to start a war
Do we even know what this is for
As the dew falls on the grass
Was it just that I didn’t ask
To be your friend 
Now I’m sailing round the riverbend
To open fields where the grass is green
I won’t forget your supernova dream
But I see beauty everywhere 
Like it was mystical in your stare
And your look could never be beaten
You look thin, have you eaten?
And you grew strong with every word
And I am flying like a bird
In open air
I’m so glad that we met there
So that I could see
The machinations of destiny 
Turn the wheel
A cog on cog that was so real
You’re beautiful 
I hope that your heart is full

The Holy Instant

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The Holy Instant
Cut like a knife 
Slicing through 
The dream of life
It slowed time down
Then sped it up
So I could see
That all is Love
It pointed out
The just refrain
The irrelevancy 
Of all pain
The beginning 
And the ending
The stitches that 
Are slowly mending
To repair 
The broken seam
As you become
What you’ve always been
And what you never are
Can’t be seen
The light that is
On a sunbeam


Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com

To Be Born Anew

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The spectre of late thirties lies before me with wills
The bucket must empty before it fills
And all the lockets I keep so safe and warm
Are nothing but silence within the storm
And the wind it howls, beats against the doorframe
Like the terror of time that knows my name
Coz it’s aging and fading, then again to bloom
And I am the Space within the room
I am the Awareness that keeps the body breathing
I am the Love in the absence of needing
I am the stars and I am the wild
Who long ago moved through this life as child
And it’s agile and free, beautiful and still
It captures each moment on the windowsill 
To grow like a branch out from the tree
I seem to call this incarnation me
But it’s more and it’s less than words can contain
I try to describe it but I do it in vain
As all the rivers join the great sea
And realise their Eternity 
I’m washing the coast with the beat of a wave
And there are a million things I try to save
But I let them all go as I open my hand
Give in to the ocean that turns rock to sand
Give into the heat that turns metal molten
I am a colt and thinking of bolting
But I’m held in this moment by the Decree
“All things of creation are expressions of Me
And none can move outside my command
I lift up the waters when I raise my hand
And unusual as it may seem
I’m calling you to wake from the dream
I’m calling you to stand up strong and true
Let my strength move through you”
And I’m barely breathing as I suck in the air
I’m living this life like an answered prayer
And to grow old is but a device
To get you to go deeper and maybe think twice
And ponder the source of your own Being
I’m just translating the light that I’m seeing
As it shines on every blade of grass
Open your heart and let it ask
For all that you’ve been dreaming of
The weather calming to a dove
And that the source of all is Love
Let go and live what is above


Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com

He’s Highway 69

.Reading time 1 minute.
He could see through me
Read me like a book
Always coming back
To a second look
And he’s cool as a breeze
The wayfaring stranger
The essence of omnipotence 
And absence of danger 
And he smiles and he laughs
And he holds my hand
I turned round to say
Shur, amn’t I grand
As the twinkle in his eyes
Does a merry dance
What I wouldn’t do 
For another chance 
At your magnificent glory
You’re ten stories high
And I think I’m gonna love you
Til the day that I die
As you move through the waves
Like you were born on a beach
I have stuff to say
But you’re just out of reach
But meet me right there
And just so with your beauty 
He’s highway 69
And just the kind to suit me

Scenery

.Reading time 1 minute.
Syed Hadi Naqvi on Unsplash.com
The depth of the ocean 
In the blue of your eye
I look into them
And see what cannot die
What is age old
And circumspect 
I’m silent a moment
Don’t know what to do next
But you pick it up
With a reply
Don’t you know you’re spacious
As the sky
And the eons move
And the constellations spin
I’m watching the motion
In the mountains of him
I’m watching the film
As the play reels
I’m wondering now
What it is he feels
And if he ever 
Doubts his strength
I found my own
In the suspense
And I deep dive
Into the sea
I’m like the air
You can’t catch me
Only love
What we share
I’m silent a moment
And he was there
To hold on to
What can’t be spoken
I smile
And he thinks I’m joking
But I’m serious
And profound
Do you hear the silence 
In the sound?
Do you see the mystery
In what can’t be held
I look at you 
In the words you beheld 
In the forests that grow up
To be proud and green
You’re beautiful 
And you’re serene
You’re effervescent 
You’re timeless, you’re pure
You’re the one thing
That I know for sure
In all that’s 
Passing by
I love you and I
Don’t have to try

Loving Kindness

.Reading time 1 minute.
Sending loving kindness to every being
It is a whole new way of seeing
As darkness threatens to consume
I find a way out of the room
And into the light of the only Son
He whispers that I am the one
To find peace inside myself
There’s a depth within, abundant wealth
And when you cry you’re not alone 
You never have to carry it on your own
Coz He is there right by your side
Each step you walk while you’re alive
To hold you in open arms each day
He paved the path so walk His way
And hear the sound of peace abound
He picked me up from the ground
So I could stand tall and be
One with everything I see
In oceans and in forests green
Love is all that’s ever been

The Wise Squirrel

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Thank you for tormenting me
The wise squirrel bites my tail 
If I don’t live the Truth
Then I’m destined to fail
And I feel this power deep
Deep inside my soul
It’s vaster than the ocean
And the waves that roll
And it’s pulling me like a current
As I’m lost in the tide
I want to scream out loud
Live your life alive

And it feels like bricks and mortar
Like stone upon a stone
But something is drawing me
Out of where I’ve made my home
Like the boat to set sail
On a vast expanse 
Did you ever watch the sun
On the water as it dance
And did you ever see a silhouette 
Framed by the sky
Did you ever find the long 
Grass and just lie
Underneath the clouds 
As you’re breathing air
You can thank the trees for that
There’s one over there

And I feel the longing pull me 
Through a needle eye
I’m not afraid to love
This life before I die
And everything’s a tumbleweed
Blowing through this desert town
But the sky will open up
And the rain will pour down
To replenish the soil
To give water to the earth
To set the plants a growing
And quench her lonely thirst

And if you ever want to thank 
Someone, start with soul
I may be in this body but I’m not getting old
Or counting on tomorrow to be the one to quiet the din
If you want to find the answer you must go within
And sit down by the sill of the window of your life
Know that you are born to be the shining light
And to answer the call that beckons you forth
I can see the sun set when I’m sitting on the porch
Or morning over hills when I’ve been up all night
Contemplating things that the heart ignites
And it’s celestial, these bodies in the sky
If you knew you had wings would you be afraid to fly
Afraid to open out and trust the wind beneath your feathers
Soar above the noise and the field the flower weathers


Photo Credit: Shane Young on Unsplash.com

Universal Design

.Reading time 1 minute.
I think Eckhart underestimates the human race
And I’m not saying this just to save face
Coz I can feel an expansive motion of tide
Pulling me somewhere to abide
And it’s everywhere, in everyone
Shining brighter than the light of the sun
Bequeathing honesty and tomes
Pulling people out of their alones 
Into a space where all is real
And it is everything I feel
Coz the man changed my life, he brought the stars
And I let go of my hold on my prison bars
Always a safe place to suffer in
But the water is kinder and I begin
To wade myself into the river deep
I’m awake when people sleep
And it is a promise I always keep
To find the truth and then to speak
But the going is challenging by the sea
Though I figure out it’s my destiny
Handing out hope like tomorrow’s bread
Letting love live my life instead
And the openness is something that I find
Is quintessentially good and abundantly kind
And I really do not mind
If no one sees what’s left behind
Because I pick up and origami the paper
It’s all the one and you’ll see it later
If you don’t see it now in open hands
The Universe and our well laid plans

Adversity

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The suffering can either harden you 
Or make you warm 
That is my take
On the storm 
Of breeze as it's blowing through
What is at the heart of you? 
Do leaves rustle through the grass
When you don't get what you ask 
But offer up to the sky 
That you don't know the reason why 
And find the answer in the pause
There is no effect to cause

The Impulse to Awaken

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The impulse to awaken
And I am stirred, not shaken
As I testify to the divine
It was a moment that was mine
When it struck me from above
It was a new kind of love
Redemption in a hue 
And it loves all of you 
As if you were its very own 
The colours in depth are shown 
To only hold the way you've grown
Like a tree to the sun
It is the many as the One
It is the forest on the breeze
There's nothing that you have to need
But trust alone as it unfolds
To be brave and be bold 
And be ancient as the times
It is beautiful as it shines
In light to refract
And you can't go back 
But step anew into the dawn 
The darkness of the night is gone

Love

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I love so much
I feel I will burst
This feeling courses
Through the very worst

Through all of the liking
And ticking the box
I find I am open
Without any locks

And it just moves its own way
In a flow, in a beat
And I find I am standing 
On my own two feet

As I build on foundations
Solid as a rock
Am I okay? 
Well, is the sun hot

Just like my heart
In rhythms it's own 
I may not be adult
But I am grown

Interdependency

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I'm building a home
Out of all that I've seen
And there are ways
To wake from the dream 

To give up the long fight
With yourself and the sky
We move and we walk
But we never know why

And life, it is changing
But it's always the same
You were born on this Earth
Without a name

To grow and to learn
To thrive and to be
Always yourself
Quintessentially free

Built on Love

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Comparison and judgement 
Destroy the soul 
They make you 
Prematurely old
They only serve
To dim your light
Just surrender
Give up the fight
And come back
To a place called home
Know that you
Are never alone
But always supported
From the ground up
The Universe 
Is built on love

Impact

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What is the impact
Of my unemployment
Could I more than say
I don't know where the ploy went
Coz I've up and grown
And true colours have shown
But I still say
I don't know where I'm going
Does a river when it's moving 
Imagine the sea
It's like a premature 
Deciding who to be
As an oak grows upwards
From a single seed
And there are things
That we all need
From the sky to the sun
To the rain in the clouds
How many human beings
Can say that they're proud
Of the life that they're living
Of who they are 
The atoms inside us 
Were forged within a star
So know this once
And know it forever
You are the beauty
The cosmos will treasure
Every day of your life
In the depths of your soul 
Don't stop at okay
Go ahead and be whole

Cacophonous

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The cacophony resounds in my bedroom

It plays to the sound of doom

And I try to run but I can’t get up from the bed

Til I peel myself away from it instead

As the many fangled locket dangles from the sky

Painting a different view, I don’t know why

As I try to overcome my flaws

I be the heat til the icicles thaws

But I’ve been so long in this state

I’m not sure that it would be great

To leave it all behind

The maya mind

And all it bequeaths

But I hear the call to kneel at the Guru’s feet

And you could call it many things

You could call it inside

It knows my name

And I’m terrified

To be the one to take the step

I don’t think I’m ready yet

But I’m pulled like a thread

Through the needle eye

I gave it up

And I don’t know why

Photo by Patrick Carr on Unsplash

Passing Through

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We’re only passing through

We’re a whisper on a page

We are the bodies that we grow

And then again to age

We’re the midnight in the summer

When the moon is shining high

We’re the truth between the lines

On the paper where we lie

We’re the justice and the mercy

The all bequeathing love

We’re the hand that writes the heavens

In stars far above

We’re the darkness and the light

The fire we ignite

But among the chaos

I know we will be alright

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

This Winter

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The feeling of panic

Knarls in my stomach

Maybe this is too much to be

Maybe there’s so much yet to see

But the aching roars

And the spirit soars

To become an avalanche

Of my own making

And I count every one

Of the breaths I’m taking

In case I misplace one

Amidst the snow

The winter has gone on

For so long, you know

The Winter

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The winter, it weathers

The brush and the grass

And I wonder about

That which will ever last

And you could call it God

You could call it Christ

It transcends death

It is Eternal Life

It goes beyond time

It goes beyond space

It is the Peace

That will never cease

It is the Love

To always abide

It is the Freedom

You don’t have to hide

Don’t have to cover

With shields and holds

It is the Wisdom

Inside our souls

It is the breath

It is the breathing

It is with me

And it isn’t leaving

Photo by Katarzyna Kos on Unsplash

Everywhere

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The love, it abides

The music, it sings

Into worlds

Of everythings

To pierce

Your darkest night

Don’t you know

It’ll be alright

Because every hair

On your head is counted

And the emptiness

Is a hidden mountain

Of stability

That just remains

Regardless of

Time and pain

Regardless of

Lost ways

It’s all around

That’s what it says

Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

Grace

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

The Lord knows how to walk my shoes

And I know how to pay my dues

As he directs my glance

There’s no need for a second chance

As he makes my spirit dance

And a new way

To make headway against the tide

A way to live my life alive

A way to communicate to all Beings

The power of our shared seeings

The power of Grace to renew

And it is living in you

Awakening

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The light it struck me in the dark

And I had to give up playing the part

Of the hard done by fool

It happened one day in school

Where the Divine called my name

Pulled me away from all blame

Unto a new dawn

And all the pain was gone

All the suffering that could ever be

Is just an illusion that you seem to see

But we are free as a bird

From the story we never heard

The Bright Lights

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The lights shone from the sky

Bright and in awe and I don’t know why

As the days rolled into weeks

And the weeks into years

And I get by on just hiding my tears

And the best part of me

Doesn’t say a thing

She is just ancient 

And a bird on the wing

And if she could

Then she would sing

I loved and so 

I gave up everything 

Image Credit: Elen Laureano

Translation

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I write about no one
And nothing agrees
I am split level
I've got my degrees
And if you ask a question
Who is to answer 
Love is the way
And life is the dancer
To a new song
To a new word
And it's like the best
Sound you've ever heard
But this poem's just a tribute
It's not the real thing 
You know it when
You give up on this fling
That you've been caught in
That you've been living
And God is peaceful 
He is forgiving
So don't walk away
From all you own
Just listen to your heart 
As true colours are shown
As light and love
Break through and bask 
All you ever have to do
Is ask

Empty Air

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The day it all dropped down by my side
Is the day I truly came alive
And there was nothing there
Just empty air
Nothing with the will to get by 
And I just basked in the vastness of the sky
I wasn't big and I sure wasn't small
Only aware of it all
And perceiving 
Something that was
Beyond believing 
And beyond reason in its perfect hue
There's nothing there I have to do 
Only make waves to lap the shore
And give in to worship all I adore
And once again, once more
I let go to open the door

The Wisdom of Non-Attachment

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Do I have to let it all go
Everything, everyone
To radiate the light
Of the Son
And I've always loved Jesus
He is my defender
He's been there since
Before I can remember
And he picked me up 
When the going got tough
Was the dry land
When the seas got rough
And I've changed so deeply
And in so many ways
But I'm still the same
Or so He says
And love is not antithetical 
To devotion
When it is ardent and true
And not all commotion
And he has placed a man
At the forefront of my gaze
That I can share life with
For the rest of my days
And do I refuse
Do I turn him down
This ocean is not
A place I want to drown

B5

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Through the eye of deficiency
Through the needle of storm
I find the place
Where the heat is still warm
Where courage abides
And beauty abounds
Where silence is heard
In the absence of sound

The Christ

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https://open.spotify.com/track/5i2JGF65pHKSfMEjSMrBC3?si=5zbZax1WRja5ZgId1BxKEw

My Lord and Saviour
The light Supreme
The cracking sound
That wakes the dream
And I have laboured
In darkness too
In shadows and
Miles away from you
But you always come
And take my hand
Tell me softly
You understand
That life is trials
Adversity
But when you look
There will I be
And I went to the city
Hungry with life
Ambitions were
Just out of sight
And I reached my hand
But I never could
Catch hold of something
I call good
Til I’m back on my knees
Pleading to the sky
I saw beautiful
Shine from his eye
I saw commonplace
I saw unique
Felt silence that
No sound could speak
And my devotion is the answer
The steady beating tide
The heart inside my soul
That keeps the love alive
And I didn’t find Jesus in the pews
Or in all of my good deeds
I found him in the rain
And it’s all I’ll ever need

Kissing the Sky

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Funny feeling that though he may not want me I am still okay
And that I can survive on the love of every day
From the plants, from the trees and nonetheless from him
For though he may deny it I know it beats within
In blood and in veins that are solid gold
But so are mine I see, though I have not been told
To look and revolutionise the vision of my palms
I am the lake, the ocean and these are my calms
No enforced stability, no discipline held high
Just the truth of a being that knows something that can’t die
And sees it in the rushing movement of the leaves
All the world is heaven to one who needs nothing to believe
And smile to myself, in a secret, silver fold
I never knew the universe was there for me to hold
In its peril and its fantasy, it’s motion and the tide
I am the evidence of the thing you’ve never tried
So sincerely honest in the feelings that maintain
That there lies beneath a sunlight that will overcome the pain

The Glorious

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I want to be inspiring
Or beautiful
Or both
I don’t want to write the night
Anymore

Though I have written it well
As well as can be written
When darkness is your subject matter
As it turns to a golden sheen
In the morning light

But there is another way
Another turn of phrase
That lifts you up
To higher consciousness it seems
And rewards are your delight

And the marks that have been made
Filter away,
Pourously, as though they were never there
To the pure calm space within
That always holds its peace

I don’t want to write the world in vain
I want to write the glorious
Of undying rain
As it pours heavy from the sky
On me

Fire Brand

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The eve of things yet to come
I’ve broken what you have undone
And shattered glass falls to a shell
You can’t silence rote learning hell
That paves a life that’s just a clock
I didn’t mean to let you unblock
But somehow in the clouded din
You saw through to who I am within
And all the pins clasping me together
Won’t withstand what I remember
When you stood me toe to toe
And looked at what you want you to know
Though it was against my will
The moment held us both so still
And burst into an intimacy
Like there was only you and me
On this whole earth, in this domain
I thought I understood your pain
As you gazed an eternal surrender
I sent the love returned to sender
So it was a double entendre
Outside of our depth and genre
In a place that no one sees
I adore what you have freed

Lashings

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It’s a peculiar kind of humiliation the way I’ve grown to feel
When you place your trust in someone and the way they cut the deal
And you can’t really blame them when they pull the rug away
Cause you never in your heart of hearts expected them to stay
And all your family converged on where the wound congeals
But though they profess their understanding, they can’t fathom how it feels
And should I lash out in anger and be certified insane
Or find another way that I can express my pain
As I writhe and I lose my wits end over you
They try to make me act the way I’m supposed to
As they hang my arms like puppeteers into a normal life
And I let them move my body under the vacant expression in your eyes
The complete renunciation of what you’d previously adored
Now I’m just the soundtrack someone else has scored
As the chains grow round me, like vines, I’m too weak to fight
And all that fueled me before, now I have no appetite
Cause it has lost its meaning without the love that you imbue
And what’s the point in dancing if I’m not doing it for you
Though you have got your lines that say I’m better off
In bitterness and agony I hold your memory aloft
And cave in on myself to the cracking of my ribs
Tell me I’ll find somebody who’ll be happy I am his
But I am not a man’s woman to marry and to own
I only fell for you because I was alone
In your presence and I found I didn’t have to be
An amelioration of myself or lose my liberty
And I guess I got confused and mistook what just confounded
One in an eternity the lightning bolt you grounded
But just because you had earthed me back into the source
Didn’t mean you really cared for what had taken me by force
As striking in your eyes when the connection hit
It was not in your stature a place you chose to sit
So you have me blinded, inconsequentially
And you must be reminded to extract yourself gingerly
Lest you push me over an edge I fell from long ago
You don’t have call in those who will try to soften the blow
And take me from that place as I am struggling to grasp
The meaning of a death I did not think would last
Now they tie me to a chair and chemically calm
My shaking and their supplements are suppressing the alarm
That is ringing in my head and trying to break through
The foggy overtures that are obscuring you
And my eyes they cannot see and all my speech is slurred
To think the time you spent with me was inhabited by her
And I know I should be happy but I find myself contained
Inside the strictures of a world that hasn’t changed
And all your magic prose and your incandescent stories
Are only symptomatic of how I revelled in your glories
And the ancient smorgasbord of different shades of black
Are not efforts of your urging but what is never coming back
And its institutional to be begging at their feet
But you are starving and they beat you til you give in to eat
Though it may be poison and lead to your demise
I guess I lost it all and my independence dies
As I lay down on the bed and concede to be operated on
Though they cannot fix what is already gone
Their sutures leave a scar and I will forever bear the mark
Of what it is to be consumed by the wolves out in the dark
But though they may undo me til I’m a shade of my old self
They cannot command the soul beyond their timing belt
And the pictures that they make of the architecture of my being
Are only surface breaking waves to signal what I’m freeing
And I know you want me complicit in my own subjugation
But I’m not what you can train into a pleasant conversation 
There is an ocean beneath that you have not explored
I’m not what you hypothesise standing on the shore

Guilt and Futility

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I tried to find permanency in the things you approved of
Cause you always seemed like you were right
You walked with a kind of confidence
That had no doubt as to what you could fight
But I fell into the abyss
Waiting for you to care
And hopscotching myself along the lines
Of what I didn’t want to wear
And everwhere there seems to be
Instructions on how to live
But its like chasing down paper planes
Along rivers that don’t exist
And I seek one moment to turn forth
For the love I bear you in my chest
But each time I do I am crippled
Crossing lines that you destest
Whether I’m too near or too far
Its like a balancing act
And it doesn’t really serve a purpose
To swear by what you retract
And I could play these guessing games
For the milleniums before me
I know that it is selfishness
I just want you to adore me
And I’m not really seeing the practicalities
Of loving on request
I know I never measured up
When you put me to the test
So all that I can offer you
Is the silence that consumes
As I’m absorbed into the night
The darkness resumes
And you will always have the meaning
You inescapably are
But I am not just a sweeper
To kick when times get hard
And I know that there will be resolved
An answer to our souls
I just think I was mistaken
When I thought you made me whole
And our spirited undertones
Just patchworked the quilt
Something drove the blade in
And it broke off at the hilt
Now there is a forest wide
Of time and space and words
But every time I see your face
I forget what I have heard
And conjured up again
Is a memory infantile
When I looked for you to be just there
But you had run a mile
And the stabbing jealousy
Pierces deep into my side
As I look at the perfection
Of you without me in your life
As accolades and flowers
Flow freely into your hands
I wish that I could stop the wish
That you would understand
Me just as I am
And revel in my presence
But I stayed too long
Now the moon is just a crescent
Of the whole that it was
Signalling an eon of time
That moves the waves in rhythm
To the era you were mine
And these convoluted feelings
Are all about possession
I thought that I could do without
The wounds of my window dressing
As I come to the conclusion
That my heart is made of stone
And maybe I would be better off
If I just leave you alone
Like you’ve been begging me for centuries
Implicitly in your eyes
A monumental cacophony
The whole world denies
Though you always seem to find
Someone to match your heart
And I wonder why it was not I
Who could fulfil that part
So sadness will ensue
My subtle self exile
I guess that I will never be
The light behind your smile

Some Kind Of Solitude

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The silence in between the sounds expels the disaster life has pending
And though there are new beginnings I always feel like something’s ending
Imperceptible and finite and not subject to reprieve
This is not a man made illness and not just something I believe
Because there is a conquerer beyond the you or I
And its only what’s born of flesh that ever has to die
But that substantial underneath that powers the whole
Is not just a clockwork rig but the essence of my soul
The permanent, the unchanging, the unfalteringly there
There is a silence deep within where you don’t have to care
And all the travails that I sustain and the storms that I fight through
Are nothing when it comes to the inevitability of You
As I see it in the stars, or the way the planets move
That we are part of a concoction I cannot disprove
And our very consciousness, the sight behind our eyes
Looks through the infintesimal as I say my last goodbyes
To the life that I have known and steady grown up in
But effortless the letting go of what I cannot win
And the crying in the night, the tears unto the dawn
I want to realise what’s there when I am gone
And please don’t misunderstand me, no towers to the spire
Its just to walk in my own shoes expands into something higher
As what’s divine manifests in perplexity on my face
I have to know the Truth, now that I’ve had a taste
And weed out all the roots, though there is really only one
What is there left to do when all your work is done
And you lay down all the arms to protect what you have not
It doesn’t seem like much to ask but it is a lot
As I pass through the eye of what I found in the haystack
That girl is long gone and she’s never coming back
As consciously I choose to just be laid down
Awarenessing the sincerity in which I will drown
An ever pliant material that you don’t have to break
Just lead me to the precipce so that I can wake
As I leap of faith back into my home
I realise the solitude of peacefully alone

Extraction

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Crafting wishes like dreams in an ancient pocketbook
You’re not sure where to go so you have to look
At the odes you wrote time and again
About reaching that place you can’t quite remember when
But flipping through notes will never reveal
The love adults cannot heal
As you realise in fields of wildflowers
That you have lost most of your powers
And weak is the energy that emenates
From what you used to dominate
As vibrancy hues give up their colour
For the revelation of something other
And you can’t pave the path with stones you can’t lift
And whatever you choose there’s something you missed
As the sharpness of truth bites with fangs
That you never carried out any of your plans
And the goodness you saw in yourself and others
Just further emphasises what you’ll never discover
That you cannot hold death in the palm of your hand
And cannot bring back the oceans they spanned
For for all your anger that prompts defiance
You cannot escape your inherent reliance
On the sun, the clouds, the air you breathe
Its only cause you have life you know how to bleed
And as it is taken by inches, degrees
You want something of substance to see where it leads
So independently consumed as you are
You cannot govern the flight of a falling star
As the laws of gravity pull to the earth
The force of your demands cause you to hurt
As solid resistance meets its counterpart
In the stubbornness of an open heart
And you swore you would rather burn all your days
Than act out the script of someone elses plays
But the grand design just laughs at attempts
And accentuates why you are exempt
From finding a solution by holding on hands
That will momentarily be dust baked by the sands
But somewhere in all this cavalcade
I founder a speaker where my song played
And knotted the twines undone by the seal
Of an authority that doesn’t know how I feel
So captive bound and under duress
I realise the answer I can’t express
That the butchery of modern times
Doesn’t stand up to the light that shines
Unnamably from the source
Of the river that must run its course
And meet again in perfect flow
The end of what it doesn’t know
So plaited in between my lines
Is the home within that defines
Not the abode of mankind
But divinty I thought I’d left behind
And all my trips just emanated
From the desire to have that hunger sated
Calling for an unpayable price
To let go of all the work on site
While I am building castled skies
The liberation lets go and flies
As fluidity of a timeless era
The cobwebs only make it clearer
That I have never exercised my right
To the freedom of wordless goodbyes

Paper Planes

.Reading time 3 minutes.

All of these words are just errant musings
The product of introspection and my perusings
And I wonder do they add to naught at all
Just the scribblings of a child in crayon on the wall
But it’s only when I write that I truly see
The breakdown of what is troubling me
And the way I can fix it or how it tapestries
Into the weave of earth’s cosmic mysteries
For there are some things for which no explaining
Could ever illuminate what you’re detaining
When reasons all fail you and you just cannot find
The evidence for your theory that the world is kind
But let it just blossom like the bloom of a bruise
As it spreads out in colours you use
And slowly heals up and returns to source
There are some things even man can’t divorce
Like his or her very own essence
The body is just the skin in which we are dressing
And never can amount to the sum total of us
There’s a power inside where I place my trust
So whether I be broken or raised up on high
I’m aware of that which can never die
And I have been both the bottom of the bowl
And the queen of plaudits but neither touch my soul
I just keep on keeping my cart in the race
And seeing the good in everyone’s face
And nobody worries about the self esteem of the bad
It seems like payback they lost all they had
As punishment reigns on their earthly domain
We say they deserve it when they feel pain
But what are we doing to our brothers and sisters
That we demean them as less in the things that we whisper
And spitefully reap what they could not sow
They’re dead in their eyes so I think I will go
But even if they’ve been bullet strung
They’re not the last step on the laddered rung
And all things of Earth will return to the Divine
It’s just we don’t see how the threads entwine
So forgive the mutineers for they know not what they do
In the words of Jesus and he’s talking to you
So as my broken pen fills out that lament
I send my love to you and that’s where it went

Not All It Seems

.Reading time 2 minutes.

Silence hangs in the air like a stifling curse
As I pray to the gods that it not get any worse
Cause this world it is full of chancers and cheats
But you are the reason that my heart beats
And all of the machinations of a powerful system
Convinces us we’re just the world in which we’re existing
And people will pay to have you give up on them
And then say that you’ve counselled them to live again
All the while they balance on a precipice spire
And beg that it not extend any higher
While their shadows they fall like feet on the earth
And know if they go down then it’s sure gonna hurt
So you make do with the concoctions
You use as insurance in the allotments
That you have obtained to grow your own farm
You forget about freedom, it’ll just do you harm
And I watch as they all spin round like clockwork
To the beat of a rhythms that is stop jerk
And automatic pilot their whole lives
With a few intercepts from one who survives
Or the beauty of love as it strikes them home
And just for a minute their minds are blown
And stutter and stop for infinitesimal seconds
Before they’re again drawn back into a world that reckons
That what can’t be controlled is a danger to life
It’s no wonder they take time to look at me twice
As the spellbound is broken beneath my gaze
And I’m not like a mouse who is stuck in a maze
And the mystery pulls me back into the unknown
I wonder when they will see that the match was thrown
Not lost by degrees but by design
By the shape of a hand much higher than mine
So you look at me and find a label to use
But all definition just means that you lose
Your natural discernment to right the wrong
To have nothing at all is where I belong

The Reminder

.Reading time less than 1 minute.

You look at me with that hypnotic stare
Is there a real person under there
And you poison the paradise that ventures my soul
Was it just a dream that I could be whole
When we are both halves of the same coin
Let man not part what God thought to join
And in the rivers of death and of misery
I want all the pain brought back to me
Because each slice is a reminder of us
And the bridge that we built in stone walls of trust
So turn to your new life if that’s what you deign
But just to let you know, my love will remain

Daydreaming of You

.Reading time 1 minute.

If I could write you a poem what would I say
I love you forever like I love you today
And whatever water washes us down the line
I know in my heart we are for all time
You fill up my daydreams and I paint you unique
Releasing the things I’m longing to speak
You have a smile that crumples my soul
And a look in your eyes to show what you stole
We are so close though our bodies are far
We both share the moon and sit under a star
So when the wind rushes the hair off my face
I am wild horses and it’s you that I taste
But I come to you fragile and my head bowed low
Because you are more heaven than I know how to know
I look in your eyes and you see me right back
In know in this moment there’s nothing we lack

Born and Raised

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imageWhen words are just not enough to explain the hurt you feel
And you try to cope, as the saying goes, but you just cannot deal
When spider legs entwine and trap you in their cages
You spew it out on paper, on magnificent pages
Cause expression is the key to understand your mind
And when you have stopped the noise you can leave it all behind
Cause forever’s in a moment that never will defer
There will finally come a time
when you realise what it all was for
And the revolution will be complete as all the lies dawn Truth
It would be an understatement to say I had a tumultuous youth
But all the beauty and the conflagration is a white fire blaze
I guess that you could say I took all these years to raise

Photo Credit: The Work of Byron Katie – Facebook