My secret shame lives in the recesses of my mind 
And it’s not hard to find 
I just sit on my own for a while 
And then that darned magnetic smile 
Comes to spread across my face
Even in the midst of disgrace
Even in the midst of tragedy 
And everything I’m not supposed to be 
Like the giggle in the pew
When I am just sitting there with you 
And we both find our hysterical laughter 
Come to rattle all the rafters 
Of Kilglass Church
And I know it hurts
That I’ve changed
It’s just the stars rearranged 
In my sky
And I can’t map them like how I used to try
To give me an orientation to be
I just found something so free
And it is liberated 
From all the ways I’ve been educated
In school, at home, in the holy
But I’ve found a love that beats for itself only
And it is in every warming chest 
And the boys that know me best 
Like meeting Darragh on the edge of Glenomena 
We live mere feet apart and now Philomena 
Knows and she is glad 
Because I was so very fucking sad 
And I roamed the grounds of UCD
The concrete jungle that couldn’t follow me 
In beautiful sight and colour 
And Isabel only made me feel fuller 
In what I am 
Because God knows she understands
What it means to be lit 
From within and I sit 
Across from her 
And what we were 
In the age of twenty one 
And I watched the sun 
Shine in her eyes 
And beam out of the disguise 
That everyone wears while in the case 
But she’s got something so radiant in her face
And we fight over that guy
In silence and I know why
Because he is so damn, fucking awesome 
He gave me his party glasses like it was lawsome 
And then I gave them to Niamh
Because I know what is up his sleeve
But I watch them take them back with a smirk 
I never wanted to hurt 
You, I just want to be free
Not someone else’s by degree
And I love you so 
So, will you let me know
Someday when we meet again 
I still see you as more than a friend