The ripples of the Balrog comes up to catch me 
It was as though God did unlatch me 
From the dream 
But then the queen 
Decided she wouldn’t tolerate
My insurrection to equate 
Myself with being free
Free from the power she had over me 
So I rebel, rebel
And it’s hell, hell
Because the tendrils curl around my limbs
And I reach out for him 
He tells me I’m crazy
And though his words don’t faze me
I can’t deny they have weight
And serve to explain the hate
I seem to be lying under
Her thunder
Was the rumbling of my years 
And her tears
Were a flow I could not stem
I think it’s over but it floods again 
And I’m there with my boat and bucket 
Saying what the fuck, it 
Just will not do 
To try and follow the path of you
When my own feet have always felt so much more like home
And it was only together that we roam 
Not towing the line 
And saying I’m fine
With a smile 
Because I haven’t been for a while
Not since she departed this earth
I can’t explain the way it hurt
When I watched her body lie
On the bed about to die 
And I know she’s not there
She’s floating somewhere in the air
Above me
And I know she loves me
Still 
Because death cannot kill
The eternal 
I break then write about it in my journal 
And it was my salvation 
Not my looks, not my education 
Not the pews
Coz the bad news
Always filters through 
Even when you’ve prayed your little heart out, you 
Can’t stop the tide
And it beats the shore as long as its alive 
Like a heart in the chest 
Or a friend that knows me best 

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