The feel of not existing Like I don’t have a form Even though the body’s breathing Is vital and is warm Like I’m spirited away To another dimension But I’m still in this one And there’s inherent tension Between what I am And what I could be I always feel the gap Though others cannot see And I’m mindful and secure Minute and profound But my wings are getting lazy From staying on the ground And I want to try them out To see if I would soar You say don’t wish for miracles But I just want them more As I’m touched by the divine In form but beyond reason It’s time to remind you That life is but a season And like leaves in Autumn We colour up then fade away Don’t blame me for wanting more To make enough of this day That we’re given, in between two nights He speaks to me a moment and my spirit ignites To burn a hole in destiny or all that is to come I’m not just a tragic tale I’ve been telling the young To be wary and be watchful But don’t forget to dance I spin the top of reason And give you a second chance To be all that you might Ever want to desire You looked in my eyes I burnt up in the fire That consume like ash and rust For a phoenix to rise It’s been exaggerated The reports of my demise I’m still flipping the lid Of every bottle top And you cannot contain me As something that I’m not But something that I am And ever will be I opened up my heart Suddenly, I am free
Stillness is a dragon It eats me up And there are some people on Earth Who would call that love Like the last marauders Who round the bend Who search to find The true friend That shines in all lights That is every dawn The something that’s there When all is gone It’s arising in me And it’s rising in you The bun’s in the oven Now let the broth stew Til it comes steaming Into your hands And you know the meaning Of life on these lands
Running from the dark wolf in my closet That wasn’t a sin now was it Coz I’ve been recounting tales Since I was knee high And everything that lives seems to die And I don’t know why So I fight and I toil And I break and I boil Coz there are atrocities In the human endeavor And I’ve always been seduced By the promise of forever Coz it’s bulletproof And no matter how aloof She is I know There’s part of us that don’t let go In the years we grow Up and out And our self doubt In a mountain aware I love the feeling of you being there
Is your country just a concept Something you play with Have you grown up Or are you still being a d*** Coz I cannot stand in silence As the pillars burn Wait for someone else To steady the axis turn And storms are breaking out Like they said they would I read between the lines Of a Book that is Good But you seek to condemn What is merely knowing I look out the window It’s April and it’s snowing As the ice melts And the Gulf Stream redirects I listen to Greta And I wonder what’s next In this reverberate That is slowly brewing The people in charge Don’t know what they’re doing Or maybe they do (In that case it’s worse) You order a Starbucks But I sense a hearse Somewhere on the horizon For the human race There’s no telling the atrocities That maybe we will face If something doesn’t change On the political scene I woke up from my nightmare And it was just a dream
Writing a poem for you Because God wanted me to And it happened when I was eleven Memories of you when I was seven And I woke in the night with a rhyme in my head I sat in the bathroom and instead Of writing it down I let the ocean drown Me with waves of grief And every day it’s beyond belief Because there’s no going back And you only know it when you lack A grandfather you love And their promises of above Don’t stem the catapulting might Of waking in the night With a poem at your pen If I could go back again I would pay tribute to you With love instead of falling into A mire that knows no end Did I really lose a friend And I stay around Kilglass Coz the memory last And your house is just across the road The years sped up but time slowed Down enough to let me look back And I found someone who goes by the name of Jack And he stills the storm in my bones Holds my hand through the all alones That stifle my voice I don’t scream by choice Just the horror of losing you Like I’ve become the void I stare into As if I could find you in my grief That the pain is a measure of the leaf I take out of your book Does the past take a second look Into the vast of the sky The Kingdom of Heaven that will never die
The slow wither Like a flower losing its leaves And I can’t comprehend How anyone believes In a God of good things In a loaded gun Everything in creation Screams that it is One And I’m not exactly Buddhist And Christian loses lustre I’m mad busy at work Trying not to get in a fluster And then the peace comes In a moment of prayer I kneel before the altar And I hear that I Am There And I’m glad I keep something of you Coz the body it is taken And I can only hope that Heaven Is there when you waken Into your new life At the foot of the hill There’s a lot I have let go But somethings I never will Like your kindness and your smile And the way you’re always there I never doubted for a moment That you truly care And all I have left Or so it seems Is what I collected Hiding in moonbeams But your presence comes to state That simply isn’t so You only come to wisdom In the instant you let go And you can’t fake the fire You barely contain But just because you’re angry Don’t mean you should fight the rain As I lean into your essence That has always felt like home I’m sitting in solitude But I’m not alone Coz you’re everywhere around me In the midnight and the dawn Don’t have to wait for death Because you are not gone And seeing you again Is just to see you now The walls have fallen down And it’s because of you somehow
I spent my youth fearing old age Now I’m finally flipping the page And finding out that the aforementioned Is really not in this dimension Because I extend out Far beyond the realms of doubt To the furnace roar and the circumstance Do you know the electrons dance In perpetual motion And nothing can replace devotion In the furthering of things And a million rings Cannot make me replace The love that I came here to taste And just drink in It wasn’t just with him But everyone Everyone the immaculate Son Of Destiny Do you think he thinks of me With his hand on the trigger A rifle to fire But love’s not down low But somewhere higher To take in the vista And one can only say “I missed ya” If you believe the lie People we love cannot die But fly On immutable wings And everything in creation sings Of its unborn nature My love, I could never hate ya
The pain is where the river flows And I dunno, it’s like anything goes As I grapple with the notion of sin And all it was with him Like forgiveness, unconditional So much more than ritual As I kneel before the altar Bless myself with holy water And pray that it’s enough to say I love you deeply in every way Can you ever forgive my crime And call yourself your almost mine Coz I cannot cross the line in the sand Just coz I want you to be my man I cannot endeavor to futilely try Because the truth is we all die As I casually interrupt The story that you’re calling love With my own flair of tigress’ brand I’ve gotta admit I had it all planned Every moment down to detail Go shopping but avoid the retail Therapy they buy and sell To have a doctor say that I’m not well And have a man stare in my eyes In the land of empty tries And I could hear screams in that place Traumatized by all I laid waste As I listened to somebody cry Down the hall and I don’t know why Could it be the vale of torment Or a place I almost went As I lay the phone on the table Get up if you think you’re able But I cannot even manage a smile Over the days I walked a mile Back and forth to pace the floor All criminals that I adore Suffering in a hall Bounded by a door and wall And they have to buzz you out and in Only for Barry to flash a grin Like all’s to hell in fabrication Another kind of education In how to walk a tightrope line If I did it at all I took my time Steadying the beat of my heart Trying to make pain into art As someone, lying, contradicts But her words are not stones and sticks To batter down a casual thought Are you all that you have bought Or do you just give way Yield to the break of day And find that there is somewhere peace A moment when the noise cease Only to point at the scream The obvious within the dream
A permanent doubt in the foundation It cracked at the onset of my education And I dressed myself each day But something had gone away And I try to function and be strong But all I wondered is where I went wrong To be so fragile and weak A sensitive I cannot speak As I try to hold it all together But you cannot ignore the weather As it blows in a storm At least the heat keeps you warm
I know people are saying I’m highly strung And there’s all these celebrities dying young And there was a time 27 seemed old Now it’s with the story that’s already been told And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps There’s no telling what’s running off these maps And it was in a moment I just collapse Like the fire of a synapse As it blazes down an avenue Into the room it just walks through And strikes me like a light from above It’s is a kind of redemptive love And it burned away what I couldn’t see So I could live the destiny Right there on the classroom floor As green as the grass I adore And they say it might have just been a fit An epileptic, nothing to do with The glory of the sky Just the taste of what it is to die As I wake up a new girl in the air It was as though He had answered prayer And finally it was there A wisp of wind that told me to care And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies I remember how this always tries To remind me of just what I am And that everything is part of the plan As we grow up into adult moves Bodies that say what they need to prove What they are at the shore But I couldn’t have loved you more And you look at me as though you suspect That there might be trouble coming next Because, God knows, your head is wrecked And it’s everything that it affects But I just bring the smoothest balm To wait in the wings and stay calm And show you what you mean to me Now that the pain is history And you are just a love I teach I’m doing cartwheels on the beach Now that I have your rapt attention But there are days I dare not mention When the tide went out and the water receded It was as though you were all I needed But I saw something in the sky To reflect the blue of your eye And how I know I’m not alone When I hear your voice on the phone And everything you mean to me Comes flooding back like history That you could mean the words you say And that everything might be okay As I finally give in to let the bay Take care of me, come what may
Live strong And let the beat hold the song Up where there are no lies From the mutant in disguise And maya does it’s best to capture But you have me in a state of rapture Ringing bells from on high And I am not afraid to die Coz it’s just a veil that we pass through Fr. P said that when we lost you To a sudden and sharp But we’re not alone in the dark We’re held somewhere we can’t contemplate And no one is locked out of that state And I’ve been knocking on the door But it was open and I adore The freedom that has come to reign Like I’ve been kissed by the pain Til all that once held a stain Washed away in sheets of rain That just pour from the sky The ground is nourished when clouds cry So why should I fear my own tears For it has been many years In a silent solitary slumber But the Divine is not going under No matter how I bury my soul Waves only know how to roll
How do I describe that time in my life I’m fourteen and there is strife But something pierces through me It’s as though I can suddenly see What’s before me on the page I’m kicking back and burning sage In my window dressing by the sea The moment when God touched me With Her ephemeral light Says, get up, kid, you’ll be alright And all of a sudden the night was done You can’t fear the dark when you know the sun And it came to me like a breeze or chill Says, move it, girl, or I will And forever was a mountain I couldn’t move So many exams and so much to prove But I won’t be writing for the Longford Leader I’ll be spinning yarns so you’ll believe her And time has passed But that time will always last As I scream my breath out into the air And find something real that is there More than what pulls away Like cobwebs at the break of day Filled with few in the morning light But transparent and alright Catching rays and bending frames Being so much more than their names Like I did in first class I woke up and it kicks ass!
I can hear murmurings Sweet whispers in my ears And I wait Until the smoke clears To really discern What is going on It’s been years Since I felt I belonged And someone’s gotta say it Call a spade a spade But you need both tree and sun To make the shade And I’m into realism But I’m also idealistic I don’t want this century To repeat the statistic Errors of a previous generation Am I getting above my station To say it’s gotta stop And I don’t wanna play bad cop But the letters on my tongue Are spilling ink And there’s nothing for the truth To do but sink In as we realise what we all do I am just the reflection of you
I knock but there’s no answer And I’ve done my time being a dancer Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread Into a daydream in my head And I may be deluded, I may be wrong But this love thing is so damn strong As I feel it pulse in my chest Weighing up who I love the best But it flits around to varying beings Changes with the landscape I’m seeing An intimacy I cannot describe I just thank God I’m alive To experience all of this It was Truth like a first kiss As I wake up to what I am And all that moves without a plan
Hiding part of myself Had me holding onto mental health As the only way to steady the ground As it shakes to the sound Of white noise and light I’m one of the boys and I’m alright As I take a sip of a drink Then throw the rest of it down the sink Coz I want to keep my nerves As something that serves Me instead of fighting a war Coz both sides lose what the winnings for As the turmoil draws you in Ducks in a row like lines of sin And the winter seems to last forever But you haven’t seen the last of this endeavour As I grapple with the ghost that throws me down I’m in the ring and out of town As they all call my name I say goodbye to the chains of shame
Taking a bite into the blue And it comes up the colour of you As I dive into the ocean And it’s all rhythmic motion In the life I cannot live Is it time to forgive The darkness of my past Who knew that this would last So very long Correct me if I’m wrong But you loved that I love that song As you curl up by my side Say that I make you feel alive And now it’s all gone away What was it you didn’t say Coz I’m dying to know And I won’t leave it be so Just tell me what you need to admit I looked at you and I sit Beside you surreptitiously Vulnerably confess to me Like a secret you can’t bear to keep I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep
You’re burning up the atmosphere Like the ozone layer is clear And fuck that bullshit, I spin the dial And listen to you sincere Coz the guy beside me loves me And I love him too But the worst of the weather Means it is not you And closing my eyes is all I can do So that I won’t know The places where I should not go Though they call to me An elephant graveyard or Eternity Could you please give me a clue You laugh and say the answer too!
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When I was twenty six I didn’t know what hit me All I know is that Jesus is with me And each step he walks points me the way I just need to trust in what he say
The war in her heart spills over into mine When I say I love you for the thousandth time And you’re nothing more than fantasy Dreams I make out of the fate you see And you’re roving wild waters And your chivalry escorts her At least in my mind As I look on from being left behind It’s a sorry state But I won’t give in to hate As the wound it festers And the court is filled with jesters That make the music of the time But that sound could never be mine As I pull away from modern notions Focusing on my emotions Til they’re all I can see But that’s not all there is of me And dignity Walks me to the door As you say your love’s no more And I agree I look out but it’s wintery As I pull my jacket close You look like you’ve seen a ghost “You’re not gonna venture into that” But I gave you a home, I won’t take it back And he pulls my hand Close to his soul that’s made of sand As it pours on through Was I wrong to trust in you And he sighs “I’ll take leave of our goodbyes” And points me toward the flame That is burning in the middle of his name You can stay here I say, okay, my dear
There’s an angel on the cross He’s been resurrected and all is not lost As he comes for me To lift me with his wings so free Up and out of this situation Away from town and my education Into a new sphere, a new realm One where God is at the helm Of the ship we all steer What’s left to say when the Holy Ghost is near
Holding my Catholicism with a light hand I believe in Jesus and shur it’ll all be grand Coz I trust in the Infinite Even in the dark of midnight When everything closes down And all you can see is the town That held you back Lost in everything you lack But that celestial sphere Of burning white light is always near And comforts me in my trauma So I walk amid the flora and fauna Just to feel the Nature in my bones It’s been years since I knew alones And even in the event of catastrophe I know the Lord walks with me Together with two pair of feet He leaves one set of steps on the beach As He carries me all the way home I guess that’s how the True Love is shown
That fast feeling of fading when you’re twenty two And everything is growing up around you The flowers to rise, then wither and die The sheets of sleet that just make you cry As you’re facing outward into the rain Must we go through this all over again As the avenues merge into one route And you take a shot at the kissing booth But it’s all just so fleeting in transition Like you’ve woken up out of a worn condition And into the sky that always serene To anchor in what you’ve always been
The wrong side of the bay I love you, I hope that’s okay And the midnight is as much the day As is the sun part of the ray As it lands on grass so green This is all you’ve ever been And everything you’ve ever seen But time has come to wake from the dream And into the open expanse Of valleys where the leaves dance In time with the wind and for a glance The stillness wills you to take a chance And open out the depths of love Like a Saviour from above As it all fits like a glove The symbol of the Holy Dove And it’s not what you have, it’s what you give Are you able to really live To be true and forgive Each forsaken branch to sieve Down into a particle state Jesus said you don’t have to wait But be all you are right now I know what He means somehow As everything gives way under my weight And I am pulled into a higher state Don’t have to face what is on my plate Or let it go into fate But be all I ought to know It took some time for the years to show But I am it and will go Down the route to follow Everything and all that is It is true that I am His And must say through the snow I’ll be with you as the winds blow
Business and trust It’s oil and water but I must Find some way to emulsify As I dream a vision of an inner sky And it’s expansive and wide Open and free And it feels like they’re all Relying on me To stand up Strong in my boots Let them know That this tree has roots And has been Organically grown So they can trust the ground In which the seeds were sown And know that they’re Eternity Unlimited And free And capable Of making the change That is being called for To rearrange And be revealed In consciousness No one should have to Be in distress No one should have to Die of hunger When there’s any one Of a number Of ways we can learn To serve each other This is for every Sister and brother Who need someone To stop and say We’ve got this covered Okay?
The cosmic mind
Knows what it's doing
It points out dreams
That are worth pursuing
And I'm so lost
In the creases and folds
But it breaks a sunrise
Across the sky it holds
And the horizon
Is burning red
Til I can't remember
Where I've been led
Out into the warmth
Of a new day
I'm trusting in it
Anyway
Am I wearing
Malas to the Supreme
Waking up
Though I'm still in a dream
And is it Grace
All of the falling apart
I can't deny
That I've got heart
And are my assumptions
To the contrary unfounded
Was it through open fields
I bounded
And I can feel it lift
Here or there
The tumbling structures
That I wear
And do we build God
Or is he real
And is realisation
More than just what I feel
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I hide in the darkness so no one will see
The depth of the light that lives on in me
The strength of the power to there reside
Is a secret I keep, is something I hide
For it is my power that scares me the most
The beauty of that holy ghost
The spirit of light to here divise
That all of us move and each one will rise
The Poetry Book 