Tag: loss

The Embodiment Of The Prose

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The embodiment of the prose
That happens at the intersection of less travelled roads
Where you meet two parallel paths
And think of how God might have wrath 
For you and entice 
You into a darkness that isn’t nice
Because if you look in the biblical frame 
You’re talking to someone who has no name 
And you can call him Yahweh or Yeshua 
I just know that I wouldn’t mess with ya 
Not on any given Sunday
But trouble doesn’t come on a Monday
It was some idle Tuesday blue
That took me from you 
And I was just walking back
From the place where I lack
Everything that ever was
Do I lose you because
I didn’t pray for peace
Is there a reason why people decease
Before their time 
Which is always now if you ask the rhyme 
In the indulgent hues 
Now I just pay my dues
As they fall onto my desk 
Trust and have faith and forsake the rest 
As it eyes up my piece of bread 
But it’s all madness in my head
As I hear a million voices
Asking me if they have choices 
In why they are condemned to 
A kind of hell I’m party to 
And if I’m the only one who nears
Then do I run away when danger nears
Or do I open the gap
And shed light on the torn map
That says beyond this point 
You must not go because the anoint
Have adorned it a place for sinners
And all the winners 
That you have ever known 
Have only ever grown 
Through the pain of embracing the shadow 
I often wonder if I am bad, though

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2394gKdLV

Not A Chance In Hell

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Did you think I would wait for you 
There’s not a chance in hell
As if you give me permission to be myself 
Only under your sun that the cards I’ve been dealt 
Could align with mystical forces
But you’re all about the divorces 
That could happen if you’re not a really nice guy
Because you’re afraid to die
And the woman you love is fearless and true
But she is no match for you
When you put those glasses on
I saw it and so I was gone
In a heartbeat and I’d skip town again 
If I’d catch that frown on men 
Because I know what it means
And it may be the stuff of dreams
But I’m no puff pastry to wear
And I don’t need you to care
About me 
And free
Is fine
But there was a moment you were mine 
And we shared a soul 
But you break the begging bowl
As you hold it out to me
Cut my hands on glass that trusted for free
And I thought you had changed
So I let the atoms rearrange 
And came back to your door
Only for you to say you don’t want me anymore
Well let me make it simple for you
It’s goodbye like you wanted it to

The Clasp

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I broke the clasp 
Because she didn’t ask 
Me to be who I am 
She had another plan
So I pulled the plug
Now I am on their favourite drug
As I struggle to find 
The part of me I left behind 
When I left her for dust
Amid the tyre tracks and broken trust
And it was hell 
In the days she didn’t wish me well 
The tide, it turned
And something burned 
Inside me 
But some how the light it find me 
And now I’m looking back 
On the attack 
And it seems different somehow
Because I allow
Her to walk all over me 
But, eventually, I let her go free
To find her own direction 
Though I didn’t expect the insurrection 
To arise
And everybody dies 
But sometimes something rise
To meet the pain
And I would do it again 
If I had to 
But I wanted you
To realise
That there are blue skies 
In your darkest foe
I didn’t hate you, I just let you go 
To find your own path
And you may believe in God’s wrath
But I could never find 
That space inside the mind
I had to believe in truth 
And live the passion of my youth
Do I equivocate 
And stand in my place 
Like a good child 
Did you not love me wild 
And free as a bird 
What is it that you heard 
When I spoke to you 
I hope life has been kind to you 
But if it hasn’t 
Know that there’s a space that maddens 
Even those with an even keel 
You are not what you feel

The Weather Brushes Aside

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The weather brushes aside
And I am alive
Still, in spite of all the years
And the tears
Only served to make me stronger
But I don’t entertain them any longer
And I lost someone who means the most to me 
But I’ve been consoled he’s been set free
Unto the Great Expanse
Where all the spirits go to dance
When their day is done
In the realm beneath the sun
We call Earth
And the hurt 
Fails and falls apart
Under the power of the heart 
And he’s always throwing slurs 
Because he’s afraid of what we were 
In the old domain
And he’s had his share of pain 
And he takes it out on us
The female is no longer a plus
One
And undone
Is the male sovereignty 
That tries to lay claim to the best of me 
In the winter months 
And all of the stunts 
That they pull 
Can’t destroy the cotton wool 
Of being pure
It’s the one thing I know for sure

From The Green Green Grass Of Home

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From the green, green grass of home
Leave them alone 
Don’t drop the rubble on limbs
Meanwhile the soldier grins
Despite his terror 
And the error 
Of all that has come to pass 
Is that somehow it cannot last 
In spite of all the flying swords
And the politicians with words
Seek to distance the fold
From the aforementioned fields of gold
And it’s like a story that has always been told
That somewhere in the midnight
It all breaks into daylight
But it takes some time to show
And I hold on as he’s letting go
And my tears are like a wave to crash
On a shore where my grief will smash
Everything to pieces 
Why is it that everything deceases 
And moves away from where it’s been 
If life is a dream
Then does it wake
When the earth quake 
Will all that is not true
I lay my head into you

Years Pass By

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I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal 
How I feel 
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition 
And that shine 
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite 
You are not alone tonight

Years Pass By

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’m on medication
Change the TV station
Because I am strong
And I have done nothing wrong
But I want to reveal 
How I feel 
For all the broken and shamed
For all of the days that cannot be named
Because of the darkness they emanate
And you feel trapped in that state
When you are in it
And the Church just says don’t sin it
But I’ve got to believe there’s another way
To articulate, to say
That your crime is being innocent and not knowing how
To deal with the weight in the fields you plough
And I want to issue to sky
That there is something that doesn’t die
In the perforate
You don’t need to equate
What you do with what you are
You are born from the scattered star
That once imploded
So though they may have goaded
You into submission
Remember your original condition 
And that shine 
God is neither yours nor mine
But the infinite 
You are not alone tonight

The Crash And The Bang

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There was a crash and a bang
And then the phone rang
To say that he had died
And I screamed out and cried
And the memory of it sings
Like a bullet in my back and things
Were never the same after that 
Because I can’t get his light back
As it leaves his shape
I watch the soul escape
The body I thought I knew
And what if I never see you
Ever again
You were the best of men
And you would get that look that would lock
Into my gaze and I would take stock 
Of the moment that we held 
Like out on the mountain that morning as dawn broke its shell
Or the time I took a video recorder
And filmed you looking into the border
That bridges the place between you and I
I was eleven when the sigh
Escaped your lips
And my own eclipse
Began with a swathe of rage
I decided not to use a page
To document my anguished sobs
Because that would be to rob
Some of my pain from me 
And what would be left of our history
The one with Ireland on the wall
You had cut it out or you walking down the hall
In the middle of the night when all was quiet
Just a door gently shutting on the riot
That cascaded my dreams
A grandfather that isn’t all he seems
Because he is a whole life away
And I’m just starting mine, what do you say
That everything will be okay
And you love Granny and that day
You held a candle as you depart
And it nearly breaks my heart
Watching her watching you go
Why did God make us for this so
To love and to say goodbye 
I don’t mean to always cry 
When I think of twenty two years ago
It’s just I promised that the low
Would bring me a high 
And I feel you in the sky
As I gaze into a scene 
And ask God to wake the dream
Up if He possibly could 
So I walk alone in the wood
At the back of our land
Until something takes my hand 
And leads me to a monument 
That points to the place the person went 
And how could hell be heaven sent 
I swear and I eff and blind 
But it doesn’t bring me respite from the mind
That tears me into treachery 
Look your love is not lost in me
It’s just fading into eternity
One you will come to know
My surrender will not let you go

Go Back Into Your Cave

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It whispers “go back into your cave”
Because there are people to save
And I can’t do it being thin
Or just kicking the can with him
Til my day arises
And everything is full of suprises
Most of them bad as hell
As people wish you well
Then stab you in the back
Smile right before they attack
I gave my heart to her
And she shattered everything we were
And I won’t go into details but
She was the bridge my fever cut 
Like a knife right through the grass
And the man just wants ass
To smack so he can be the king
He laughed at me so I took a swing
And knocked his block right off
Then Susanna got a cough
And it was open season
I ran and ran without reason 
I got lost in the ocean
I swam in a sea of emotion
And tried to get away
From the grand sway
As it unleashes hell on me
To be the dragon set free
Like some Chinese proclamation
As they worship my exclamation
Of wonder in the winsome lost 
I speak because I am the boss

Always And Forever

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Always and forever in bubblegum pop
I will always be something that you are not
And strive to reach
But something they cannot teach
Is that you are what you are
And everyone burns like a star
Til its collapse into a black hole
The light returns to its soul 
Somewhere in the deep
In a universe where you cannot speak
Of the secrets they utter
And the shutter
Flies shut on the window
As I see her with him, though
And drop out of the sky
Because some people want to die
When they see their lover
With another
But all I feel is gratitude
That she holds the heart of that dude
And keeps him warm
Because every storm
Crashes upon my shore
And everything means something more
Than it’s first inception
And your deflection
Does nothing to dim
The weight of worlds I am to him
I see it in his eyes
And that never dies
Once it is born
So forlorn
Though so replete 
The lady washed the man’s feet
With her hair
I know because I was there

Eternal Clothes

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Marriage and prose
And less travelled roads
Did I find mine
With a stranger who just took a moment of my time
And let me be
He let me go free
When I felt the fear encapsulate
Because he might want to date
Me
And eternity
Is all I know
But I have to let you know
I don’t do boys and girls
I do you are my world 
And you have become
Everything I thought when I was young
As we just talk 
And we just walk
You lift my bag
And I drag
My feet behind me
But do not mind me
I’m just shy
And I’m gonna love you til the day I die
It’s not your choice
But I raise my voice 
To let you know 
That this love won’t let me go
And find another
You’re like a lover 
I never had
And the feeling bad
Does not eclipse
The anticipation of your lips 
On mine
There was a time
I thought we were naught
Til I saw the line you bought 
With the skyline in the air
So I let you know I care
In stuttering vowels
And the wolf of death, he prowls
On the edge of conversation
And education
Can’t save us here
But she just might, my dear
And I do not begrudge 
The way you choose to express your love
And find it reflected 
In the heart you have selected 
To be yours 
And the water pures 
As it pours through the filter
And time will wilt her 
But it will not change 
The way the atoms rearragnge
To form a sphere 
I will always be with you, dear

The Extricate

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The extrication of spirit from form
One minute you’re fine and the body’s warm
Next thing you notice you’re eighty two
And people are saying goodbye to you
And I must hold my head up high
And watch you die
Slowly, then all at once
Letting go of the pulse
That beats your heart so fine
The one that was in love with mine
For the season we spent in the sun
I look up and we’re still one

All The Doors I Close

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All the doors I close 
And the people I lose behind them, God knows 
And the first time I committed that crime
Was when a girl was way outta line
She stepped on my toes 
And got in my way, God knows
And the harder I fought my corner 
The more visceral the way she would forlorn ya
So I let the rope go slack
When she said “I don’t know want you back”
And instead of pleading my case
I set the dial to erase
And burned up the photo and memory
Of everything we used to be
All the laughter and the wit
For the sake of the pain and how she hit
It hard with sudden force 
And justifications and no remorse 
And I, so mild and meek
Would be the highlight of her week
Until I crossed her temper 
And the onslaught, I remember 
How she turned friends to foes
Whispers of things only she knows
Til that girl blanks me in the hall
And another puts up a wall
Where there used to be open hands 
And I’m a stranger in these lands
Because I’ve only ever known friends
But we will not make amends 
In this calamitous affair
You wonder do I care
And I do, more than you know
That’s why I’m letting you go
Because your pincers snap
And my map
Had not known this terrain
As I fight the worst of you in vain
And sometimes still
The picture of us never will
Live up to Reality
I’m better off without you and me

The Ribbons And The Dress

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Darling, be true, be true to me
Coz the ribbon you’re pullin is setting me free
And it’s as though the waves of you reach the shore
And I’m always hoping for a little bit more
Coz the rivers they play on the blue of the wall
I thought I was through it but I wasn’t at all
And the knives and valleys follow me round
But if a tree falls do you hear the sound
In a forest that is both deep and green
You make your way out like it is a scene
On a movie set and the script
Is one of adventure for which you’re equipped
And I may be strange and you may be weird
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone with the same kind of beard
But you just throw the light in magnificent shapes
And you’ve got the kind of wings with which I could escape
If you’d be willing to bear my weight
Like the tide go with all of the hate
And let the sea clear what’s never been known
Would you love my true colours if I let them be shown

The Shame

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***Trigger Warning***
Grief and Mental/Emotional Health
The shame as I cry in my bed
Wishing that I was also dead
Because the ripping pain sears
Separation and the years
I have to go to see
You and I eternity
In some kind of heavenly realm
A kingdom where I see you again
And the nights I resist 
Just prove to me that you exist
Somewhere in some sphere of time
I can’t speak so I write and rhyme 
All the stuff I can’t resolve 
Is grief a problem to solve 
Or is it the proof that you were here 
A memory I hold dear 
And a cracked windowscreen that says 
You can count your numbered days

Emotional Storms

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My future regret
Comes in days that haven’t happened yet
And I feel guilt
Like a blade broken at the hilt
For all my sorrows and all my sins
The near misses and the almost wins
As I try to fight my true nature
Hitting like a meteor into a crater 
And leaving a mess all around
I’m silent but you hear the sound
Of everything
Of a bird on the wing
That seems to soar
Do you want something more
Than what you’ve always had
It’s stereotypical, this feeling bad
Like dread is a mountain I meet in my sleep
And broken promises are all that I keep
Close to me as I lie on my pillow
Bending the truth like it’s a weeping willow
Just to measure up
Please, Lord, take away this cup
But the present moment ever is
And this life is only His
In His majesty 
Just don’t wave a red flag at me

Eyesight

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I can see the craters on the moon
And that’s better than leaving way too soon
Coz the midnight knows my name
And I play piano like it’s a game
And stress everybody out
With my errant doubt
And all that I do without
I silently scream instead of shout
And they never understand 
All the monuments I have planned
To my underscore
I have less that’s wanting more
In the dewy air
All the absent answered prayers
As I call out to the sky
Say I’m not afraid to die
But is that wishing for the scorch
Instead of white picket fences and a front porch
And I try to explain 
About precipitation when it’s pouring rain
And I do it once more
Knock on every open door
To file away
Check on me if I don’t smile today

Volcanic

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You can blame me for a century
It’s never gonna make less of me
And you’ve always been something I’ve looked up to
And you’re still hella blue
Like an ocean so deep or a canyon so proud
You don’t need to speak to make something loud
And you’ve got an intricate soul to weave
When you used to say something I would just believe
But now you’re so quiet and absent a stare
It’s hard to know if you’re even there 
Or if I’m just holding out hope
And I know there were days you tried to cope
And sometimes you didn’t manage but you kept your head up
And we don’t need the fireworks to call it love 
Coz you’ve always got a heat that simply burns
Like the earth on an axis around the sun it turns
And I’m left ajar like a door that you’ve opened
And I may have said a thing or two about my elopement
With a boy I don’t really know
But he’s been everywhere I seem to go
And he’s not your superior but he may be your equal
And this midnight might just be a sequel
To a story that begun an eon ago
I just thought that you should know
So I slipped paper planes out between the crack
Of light to say I want him back
And I never really let go of what held me tight
I will be the forest we both ignite
With our cacophonous flame that makes a furnace roar
I watch my spirit fly as you soar
And the rivers pay testament to
The source that was me and you

Missed You Forever

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It’s been so long since we touched 
I’m day drinking and my head is fucked 
Thinking about your soul
Trying to kill the longing with Eckhart Tolle
Coz I see you and I’m lost in the cave 
Thinking about who it is I’m gonna save 
With my supernova shine
But are you really mine 
If you’re sharing your bed with her
And we were wed in the water 
That baptised my spirit
There’s a call but I don’t think you hear it
So I back off though my head screams 
He’s the man of your dreams
And I leave down the phone
High off being with you alone 
As we shout profanity
Into what is pure insanity 
And we’ve both had our tussles with the law
As the icicles go through the great thaw
In the winter of my life
It’s a nuclear sort of strife
And is she your wife
I haven’t looked so I don’t know, like
And I swore in 2.0
I wouldn’t let you go
Even if we break up, you know
And it’s December 2012 and I’m crying into the fire
Coz this thing’s not going any higher 
Like the ball in the sky coming back to earth
I don’t think it’s meant to hurt
It’s just the way it is 
And she may be his
Between the lines 
I play it a thousand times 
And almost faint on the floor 
That time when I saw you adore her 
From the inside of your hoodie
I thought she was just your buddy
But I was wrong
And so strong
But I’m spinning out
Tripping on all my self doubt
As I slowly come to realise 
You only saw me in her eyes

That String Came Loose

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I’ll always love him
But I don’t think we’ll be together 
Because the weather
Knows me better
Than he ever could 
And I’m knocking on wood 
To find the voice
To speak to Love about the power of choice 
In these spring time days 
And there are so many ways 
You can lose a friend 
I watched the sun set and the end
Begin again so slow
How do you love what you must let go
How can a woman with child
Not crave the wild
And free she used to be 
It’s just not for me 
And no summer can contain
What just came down as rain
And I fainted with the pain
Of knowing oh too slow
That she never cared what happened to me, so
I pull the switch
And I watch the screen begin to trip
On what it holds
Oh, the immortal of our souls
Could never be bound
And the holy sound
Of freedom beckons 
What do you reckon
Do we untie the string
I loved her and I lost everything

The Long Forgiveness

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I don’t want to let go of the feeling
Because it means I must let go of you
And I don’t want to
They all teased us about each other
But sometimes you were like the brother
I never had
And it makes me sad
To think that I
Must wait until I die 
To see your visage again
I should’ve told you I could talk with pen
And write a sonnet for you
Is moving on the same as pulling through
Coz he threw those words at me
But he simply doesn’t see
That life takes care of life
And somebody’s wife
Or somebody’s son
Is warm with the waves that come from the sun
Pure photon light
Balancing between here and alright
And must I escape
A hero in a red cape
Comes to save the day
But he can’t bring back what’s gone away
And what would you say
About things like that
Love is not something that you lack
But something that pours through
Right now I’m starring in a role and you
Have dissipated 
Have I ever hated 
Life so much
To vanish what was warm to the touch
And sincere and honest
They talk about Heaven but I wouldn’t count on it
To save the day
We are born to go away
And must make hay
In the sun we know
Tell me what to do, a stór, the show
Must go on
But how do I love with you gone
How do I let a man into my heart
When it’s been broken and the part
I crave the most
Is with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost

Powerlessness

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Powerlessness
You’re gone, you’re gone
And I didn’t even get to say so long
With your spiky hair
And the way you have of always being there
Are you Spirit now, do you wander through walls
Touching hearts, leave us all enthralled 
With your vagabond
And I abscond 
To elope 
Coz it’s at least a way that I can cope
With the gaping hole, the void, the void 
You were never just one of the boys
And no one has the answer
Life is the movement and you’re just the dancer
On the stage of life
I wonder if I would’ve been your wife
In the years that passed
I thought about it but I never asked 
You to my grad
Now I sit alone and I feel bad
For what we never got to be
And she
Crushes me with a glance
Another spiral, another lance
On the boil of truth
Oh, what is youth
But the sudden celebration and the demise
But it disappears when I look in your eyes
And all I can see is the expanse
I watched you and Linda dance
And felt a pang of jealousy 
Or something akin to it because we
Have a moment by the bar
And that star
Still shines for you
I survive because you want me to

Issues

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The pain reverberates around the inner wall of my sanctum
All is lost and I never thanked him
For who he was to me
They say that death is to be set free
But chains encircle and the vice, it grips
Some people escape by going on head trips
I sit in the suffer 
Coz I know you loved her
In your short time here
Your golden hair and fiery heart, my dear
Will never go to waste 
I stay chaste
And good and clean
But I only meet you in a dream
Til he walks on the scene 
And everything I love is in full colour 
The Now is here and the past is duller
But the car crash of us mimics the cry
Of the moment I learned that you die
Grasping, clawing, trying to hold on
But you are already gone
And memory
Seems to be 
The only thing you have left me 
As the vultures circle looking for some chew 
While I’m on the grass just talking to you
And he was a symbol of salvation, I held him tight
But he’s emptiness in the night
Always a little too far away
With a little too much to say
About me and you, he and I
And I’m not gonna lie
I tried to make that plaster fit
He just thinks I am a little bitch
Affection and playful but it’s not enough
I’m looking for Eternal Love
To bridge the gap
Because Death leaves behind no map
And the scrap of what I can remember 
Of the years of knowing you
Is scrawled in a diary I put pen to
But it doesn’t bring you back, I chew the cap
What if I have another relapse
And end up in the psych ward again
Because reality is not my friend
So I take refuge in fables
Keep up if you’re able
It’s a litany
Of all the liars I never got to be 
And somewhere in the sunshine I see you again
You set the gold standard of men
And you were there that year in 2007
In the blue camp and I, eleven,
In love with with your name
Life will never, ever be the same
With you gone, now there’s no one to squeeze my hand 
And smile like everything is grand 
And fun and neat
Next door neighbours, next time we meet
Will be an eon hence
My Love is never in the past tense

Fear To The Touch

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You could be dead and I wouldn’t know
Does the pain start to show
As I mourn your form
So cold where it used to be warm
And I remember kissing the forehead
Of my Grandad in the coffin
It was like ice
And the shock 
Made my soul splice
Into multiple parts
How do you move with a broken heart
And the beat tries to keep you steady
But it stutters and I wasn’t ready
To commit my life to a mortal thing
Coz this bird with broken wing
Can’t fly
And you could die 
And I would shatter like a pane of glass
But somehow in the mists something last
And keeps me walking to your door 
Leaving notes for someone I adore
So he might know 
That, though it doesn’t show
I hold him close to my breast
Calamity and the rest
Can’t shake the ground I know
I watched you change and grow 
From a boy to a man
Through facebook coz I can
And it may track my every move
But I’ve nothing left to prove
Except to leave my open hands
There for the slipping sands
That are the years of us
I shake but I trust

Juliet On A Balcony

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I keep going to the past
To find something that last
But the present moment is now
And I give in to bow 
And kneel at the sight of it
And I love your wit
And you are perfect grey
It’s soft and soul, okay
Not dry and dead and flat as hell
But luxurious and I wish you well
As you live your life with her
And I don’t know what we were
If not Juliet on a balcony
And you serenading me
With the song of the day
I followed your feed, is that okay
And catalogued the flaws 
And the way the ice thaws 
Around your hidden hinge
The thought of it makes me cringe
As you, on the phone, lay me bare
And make it clear you really don’t care
About who I am or who I be
But one day I swear you’ll see
And regret the moment that you
Said that this was through

Love The Sun

.Reading time 1 minute.
The diary of me
Is something you’ll never see
Cos you scribbled on the page
And hit me with your rage
Fed me slowly piece by piece
To the war I cannot make cease
And she strides in with her tide
Tells me I’m alive
And what she would do to make it more so
But I just want her to let it go
Coz it’s brutality 
Though she never see
Exactly what she does to me 
In the name of love
Or at least the kind she’s thinking of 
Obedient to a fault
And I got locked inside the vault
With only T for company
And they expect me to abandon at a flaw
The heat that made the ice thaw
In the winter of my life
I love the sun, I hope that’s alright

Why Do I Feel This Pain?

.Reading time 1 minute.
Why do I feel this pain
It’s like all of summer is making it rain
Do I lean into for all that I’m worth
Why does everything like this hurt
Coz I’m dismissed
Do I exist
And if I do is it in the mist
Or the spring of time
Is the answer only to rhyme
The moment down
Coz a white gown
Is less is more
And I forsake all I adore 
And let go all that’s set in store
And the quiet hold
Everything is solid gold 
In the meaning truth
I try to find my lost youth
In the pillars of sin
I loved him so I let him in
Then knocked him out
Pushed him away with all my self doubt
Now I’m tormented true
Because I can never have you
Coz you’re with her 
And even if you weren’t, we’re not what we were
Sitting on a bus
Holding the memory like broken trust
As I search to find 
The number 10 I left behind 
I head into the city
Waiting for the trauma to hit me
As I run for fear
It’s been so long since you were near
And my heart felt peace
They look at curtains when they cease
To pull the scene 
Were you and I just a dream

Everest

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Her pain is a mountain
That I can’t scale 
Like many on Everest
I’m born to fail
But I keep coming back
To her heavenly light
Whispers in the morning
You’ll be alright
And we grow up
Dust ourselves off
But we’ve still got 
That persistent cough
That hints at something
Underneath
She lowers a blow
Knocks me off my feet
And I know 
She don’t mean it
But did I 
Dream it
That we once were something true
Until I disappointed you
By being myself 
In a garden of verdant wealth
All to blossom and free
Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me

This Haunted House

.Reading time 1 minute.
We’re both ghosts
In this haunted house
And Wednesday’s child
Is full of self doubt 
As she rolls in woe
And you tell me to just let go
Say you’ve moved on and that you’ve got a girl
A job with the boys, moving up in the world
And I’m living with my parents and lost in the stars
Throwing rocks at walls coz they’re prison bars 
That hold us back from who we really are
And I’d love to have you by my side in my car
As I go deeper spiritually
But is it just the delusion that is drawing me
As maya plays her screen on my face
And I grow tired of growing old in this place 
And it’s in its infancy, this brutal tide
Death is a wellspring to nourish alive
Coz the water is deep and the water is pure
And it’s the only thing that we know for sure 
The impermanence of form, the willful whistle
When you roll down the grass but you land on a thistle
That is fighting it out just to survive
Feel your breath lift and know you’re alive

Remember Me, Love

.Reading time 1 minute.
Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

The Grief Stricken Heroine

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The grief stricken heroine 
Of the story
I was told that God
Always walked before me
But where is He
In this landscape bare and thin
I wonder if I 
Should have ever let him in
Coz the doors are closed 
On the avenues 
And I’m full 
Of missing you’s 
But it doesn’t seem to matter
How many tears I cry
They can never make the ones
I love not die
And we’re all just wasting time
And trading places
Is there a dimension 
Where I can see their faces
And feel their soul
Not everyone 
Is bound to get old
And even when they do
There comes a time
When I’ve got to admit
That they are not mine
But one with the great
Vast Spirit untold
I’ve tried to stay strong
But I let my cards fold
And give in to cry
Alone in my room
If this is a dream
Can I wake up soon
Because the love is longing
And just a wave
And in the end
There’s no one I can save
But hold out my hands
Empty towards
And I’m not one who believes 
That prayers are just words
But emissaries 
To another state
Two thousand years 
Is a long time to wait
For your saviour to return
Is this place just a space to learn
And if I do will it make worthwhile
The ancient in the hidden smile
That comes across me unbidden
Into the land of the living
As I patch another shoe
Another hole, another you
And the loss is chasming 
A vast abyss
I wonder how people
Don’t feel they miss
What’s gone on and who have left
Is life just a Cosmic Yes
To discover
And if I’m okay
Does it mean I don’t love her
As I try to do justice to her trust in me
Has she partaken of Infinity
That calls all souls
Like gravity as the ball just rolls
Into the place it’s meant to be
Is forever my destiny
As I swirl onwards and henceforth
It’s like I feel no remorse
As I give in to the swing of time
And making messages in a bottle rhyme
Too much to be true
They are like little notes I’m leaving for you
To say I am here
And, my love, I’ve held you dear
As the tide marches on
One day we will all be gone
Or will we, is it true
Is there a space that is facing you
Where all is held
In little lines that you weld
Into perfect stone
And I have found my home
Under the tree, swinging the branches down
On the rope you made for us to go to town
With and I will never forget
And you’re still with me yet
As I concede to give up the fight
Let go of tears and be alright
And live in the fullness of colour they’re due
I might be getting up, not getting over you
No matter what they say
The ocean was not made to keep the waves at bay
But lap the shore
I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted anything more
Than to be the light
I look up to Heaven and hope that I’m right

Marriage Proposals

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I got my last marriage proposal during MCR
While I was dancing just missing her 
And a guy got down on one knee 
It wasn’t timing, it was just destiny 
And Gerard Way was giving it socks 
A year before Ken undid all the locks 
And we’re dancing to the groove
You’re covered in mud watching me move 
And I say gee shucks 
And we both give all the fucks 
In the world in that moment held 
Seventeen and in the Veld 
As we both let the music just carry
Us to the meaning of marry 
And, now, cut to the scene 
Have the past million years been just a dream 
And I know it was a joke 
In the years before woke 
Culture took the lead
And society screams the way we bleed 
In the teen years of forever 
And it’s just a step above never never
And before the banking suit
But I cut and run and he’s still a flute 
That just drinks its own flavor in
And I guess I am taken with him
From now until the end of time 
An alchemy I thought I’d left behind 
In the young years before twenty four 
Took more from me than I can adore 
And I’m all for making the best of things 
But they sort of clipped my wings 
As they held me in a cell 
In all but name and with a bell
By the bed in case I need 
A nurse to recite the creed
That I live by now 
It’s rote learned and it makes me bow 
Like a weeping willow to the floor
And it just makes me think of you more
And wonder if you think I’m crazy
And I just call you baby
In my mind when they shut the doors 
Locked them and what’s more 
Tell me that I can’t leave 
And what I’m supposed to believe 
Like a mannequin 
With puppet strings, where do I begin 
To tell the story of a desert town
And the thought of that gown 
Hanging in my wardrobe unworn
Is like the vow we’ve never sworn
To each other haze
Looking our for someone to save
Me from this maze
But it’s just the end of days
Every morning that you wake up
To begin is to end the love
Coz what Is always is
And if we meet does that mean I’m His? 
Or is it just a summer spin
Here’s the sound of me letting you in

The Second Stephen

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We were just three 26 year olds 
Sitting in a bar
I was daydreaming about being a star
And he said he might be Batman
That I might doubt it but he can 
Make me believe 
As he wipes his nose with his sleeve 
And I was tickled by the games we play
As Rock Paper Scissors goes my way
And Sinéad is on my other side 
She’s kind of the way I hide 
My true heart from you
Coz I’m scared you might want to
Take this down below 
And I’m a no show 
When it comes to that
I just want you to love me back
As we talk about Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse
And I’m hearing the words just drop from your mouth
In a year from now
We’ll be in that age somehow 
Coz we were all born on the 9-0
And I don’t want to wake up though
To you gone
And I’m drunk and so long
Rings in my head as I write an essay about you
Sinéad’s asleep and it’s a quarter past two 
And I write your name on a bar mat 
Coz I wanna remember you like that
And there’s no way I’ll see you again
But I catalogue a range of men
And you made the cut 
I touched your hand and it was what
You didn’t say that led me on
And I’m singing my own song
As I reminisce and I might have cried 
Coz there are people I’ve loved who’ve died 
And it’s more than nothing just to know 
You can love someone who let you go
And all I know is the Stillorgan Road
Is somewhere the traffic slowed 
As it went by your house 
And you live with your sister and your mouth
Looks inviting
But the in-fighting
In my brain pushes me away
I just want to remember you, okay
In two page and a half of semi slurred ink
Will be a reminder of someone that I think
Is pretty awesome cool
You’re even better than learning in school
All that I’ve come to be 
I hope that you’re reunited with me 
In some future dream 
I grasp you and I pull a seam

Grief In Waves

.Reading time 1 minute.
I miss you and it’s been twenty years
And it’s been quite a few since I cried tears
But I remember standing with you
In the morning dew
Looking out on the fields
With nothing to do
Or seeing you gaze
At my eyeline
As I video recorded
The light that you shine
Now you’re just a photograph
Paper thin
Is there anything more
Than the memory of him
To stand on stilts 
So tall
They say time washes away
Like a waterfall
But I would never want to forget
And I remember you yet
Me, so small and hardy
You the simple net
That would catch me when I trip
I love you still and that is it
Nothing more, nothing less
And I know I don’t need to stress
About the small things
And spirit has wings
To take it to the sky
It’s just I wish you didn’t have to die
I wish I could still hold your hand
Have you say that all is grand
And that you love me so deep
I love you Granda and that’s a promise I’ll keep

The Flame and the Letting Go

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Suffering means I love you more
And I’m always banging on your front door
To see will you let me in
And you just remind me of him
His casual ways, his beautiful dance
His chest, the rest and his hands
As they fold themselves into mine
It is the cessation of time
As in the moment held forever
Is the faith of a new endeavor 
As it opens out to sky
I love you and I don’t know why
Only the beauty to burst through
The diagrams I see in you
And in all that’s sad and lonely
I’m wondering why you don’t phone me
When we left it on so bad a note
And there are pages that I quote
Which makes up the dream of us
The magnitude, the waves, the trust
In all that we can’t imbue
I’m waiting for what you might do
With your love, the sea, the stars
The way you melt those prison bars
Down into metal ore
I know you better than I did before
But you are untouchable, unattainable 
The clouds are grey, the day raining and dull
And you’re just some other where 
I keep looking, you’re not there
And you may have another chick
And I the page that you flip
But anyway, bitterness won’t get me far
Not when you’re written on my heart
And I feel this seething for all we were
And the fact that I’m not her
And I know it’s selfish and self absorbed 
I should just take you at your word
When you say you’re happy there
That you’ve found love and true care
But I’m gnawing at the edges and all the seams
I still see you in my dreams
Sometimes you’re mine, more you’re not
I’d write them down but I forgot
Exactly what they had to say 
Some kind of I’m not going away
But everything does 
All that is is a remnant of what was
And I fight the tide
But the waves crash and abide
In the place they’ve always been
There is the dimension of the seen
Then other ones
Diagonals and come undones 
Would you marry me?
So that the bird could be set free
But I’m letting go
Of all I thought that I know
To find a new shore
Worship all I adore
As it comes in close
Would you haunt me like a Holy Ghost?

Paper Trains

.Reading time 2 minutes.
https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

Not That Bad

.Reading time 1 minute.
Do we just settle for not that bad
When she’s the best you’ve ever had
And I’m walking down lines and roads
Kissing princes, they turn into toads 
And I’m way past what I used to be
I wish I could’ve looked forward to see
Where that path might lead
And all the aggrandizement that made me bleed
When it was one need
And the law says take heed, take heed 
Of all that you don’t know where
And maybe people do care
It’s just that you could‘nt see
I reach out and say; it’s me
As the soft of his voice reminds me of your arms 
And we grew up on separate farms 
In rural Irish ways
And I don’t care what anyone says 
You’re still the one for me
I loved you so I let you go free
Now I just want to capture
Evince a state of rapture
That might never be known
And I want to love, don’t want to own
If that’s okay with you
I’m gonna wait coz I want to

Still In My Soul

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I was there
The day 
They took you away
And this song was playing
On the car ride home
Do you feel alone?
Coz the pavement always reflected the sun
And the sky was a burning one
As I walked in the gate
Was it just fate
Coz I can’t think of a reason
The season
Is winter and so much snow
I swore I’d never let you go
As my hands tremble against the pillar 
And daily life is like filler
When you’re gone
I hold my breath for so long
Just to prove
I feel what it is to lose
Your golden hair
I remember you and I were there
That Sunday outside the Church 
And, I dunno, I just love you so much
I was gonna ask you to
But I lost the nerve that checked on you
And I never suspected
I never preempted 
The basin that emptied
The moment she said your name
It cascaded and the blame
Of grief and guilt and pain and loss
Try to show me who’s boss
But you surface holding my hand
As I tell you ‘bout the boy in the band
But it’s through tear stained cheeks
The valleys and hills as the glacier weeps
It’s way through the parish we were born to know
I never thought I’d lose that smile though
I still feel it’s radiance on me
You always let me run free
In the playground we silent share
At the range as you stood there
Somewhere, somehow by my side
How dare they say you’re not alive
When I feel you ever near
Shining like a crystal clear
And you know me just a little bit
But somehow you still stay with
Me throughout the years
And I would drink an ocean of uncried tears
Just so that it’s real
This isn’t just something that I feel
I don’t know how to deal
But somehow I do
Even if it’s not with you
And the bitterness 
And fears and foe 
Come regardless of what I let go
As I fight to find
A place I can’t leave my love behind
And I think I found it 
It’s tentative but it’s true
And it resounds with the power of you
As you sing in the echo of the hall 
Bouncing off the far wall
It only serves to resound the call 
That makes me write for you
The silence is pure but it pours into
Every syllable you didn’t say
I’d walk to you if there was no other way

Staring From The Sidelines

.Reading time 1 minute.
I stepped onto the bridge
The wood was creaky
And there’s something about that guy 
That was a little bit freaky
But I like him anyway
I catch what he say
Across the thread of an internet fine
And I know it’s love for the longest time
As he flicks his hair
Flicks his eyes
Buries crevices 
In my disguise
And there’s nothing more
Than to bang on your door
And tell you I’m out here waiting
I don’t even think of hating
You anymore
I simply adore
The sleep in your eye
And how you are with me when we both die 
Across the refractions of time
On the thinnest of line
We are bound as One
And an unearthly Sun
Shines from your face
And I love this place
Now you are near
I hold you dear
And it’s crystal clear
That through the cobwebs and moss
All is not loss
Just a slowly burning candle 
Did you think I was too much to handle?

The Sound Of One Heart Breaking

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Questioning these sacred concepts
The weight of the world that makes war
And I mourn you but I don’t know what for
Is it just the pain serves to remind
There’s a place you have not left behind
And I break down on the floor
Coz the sound of the door
Shutting cracks my skin
And I try not to let it in
But the light is coming from the inside out
And it replaces all my doubt
With the ferver of another land 
Would you understand
If I told you I just had to let it be
It’s like all of my soul’s been taken from me
When you breathed your last
Or when I discovered a thing of the past
No more what it is
And I call myself His
But it’s a running game
And it’s all the same
No way to stem the flow
Of what you cannot let go
I wipe the tears from my face
Just in case
Anyone sees me in that place
But you’re in my heart
And the mark
That was made
Is the same scar that scabbed over what’s saved
Did it come to me too early to appreciate 
Fourteen years old in another state
Where time and space don’t exist
But in the present I just subsist
On the bread of another longing 
And the people are thronging
Round the gates of hell
Begging to be let in, as well
And I cannot follow
The tree into the hollow 
Of what you came to show
I love you forever, I hope you know

The Trauma

.Reading time 1 minute.
Does the pain go by the name of trauma
And are we just flora and fauna
In the Garden Of Eden
What do you believe in
Coz I know you’re atheist 
But it doesn’t erase the trust
I have in the Divine
And if I say I’m doing fine
It would be a lie
Coz people die
And I try to stem the flow
Of holding on to let go
It gets ripped from you
Out of the hands it once poured into
And you hit me like a smash and grab 
And I know you’re not just a lad
Who’s down with the girls
I uttered; “you are my world”
And you balked
I almost wish we never talked
Coz it landed me in hell
In an all-but-name kind of cell 
Where they were super nice to me
But tried to change me by degree
By offering medication 
So I might change the station
But I am the screen
The pictures that move are the dream
But I can convince no one
So I just let the drum
Beat me til I’m nothing new
But I can’t claim it was for you
Coz I let go the true
In a sunset kind of hue
That wakes to pay it’s due 
I faked the sleeping thunder blue

The Loss Of You

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Writing a poem for you
Because God wanted me to
And it happened when I was eleven
Memories of you when I was seven
And I woke in the night with a rhyme in my head
I sat in the bathroom and instead
Of writing it down
I let the ocean drown
Me with waves of grief
And every day it’s beyond belief
Because there’s no going back
And you only know it when you lack
A grandfather you love
And their promises of above
Don’t stem the catapulting might
Of waking in the night
With a poem at your pen 
If I could go back again 
I would pay tribute to you
With love instead of falling into
A mire that knows no end
Did I really lose a friend
And I stay around Kilglass
Coz the memory last
And your house is just across the road
The years sped up but time slowed 
Down enough to let me look back
And I found someone who goes by the name of Jack
And he stills the storm in my bones
Holds my hand through the all alones
That stifle my voice
I don’t scream by choice
Just the horror of losing you
Like I’ve become the void I stare into 
As if I could find you in my grief
That the pain is a measure of the leaf
I take out of your book
Does the past take a second look
Into the vast of the sky
The Kingdom of Heaven that will never die

A Dream In Consciousness

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Is life just a dream in consciousness 
That we are all having together
Some focal points
That personalize the weather 
And we trudge and we scorn
But we don’t realise why we were born
As we find our way up the hill
But there’s clarity when things get still
And I lived a summer when someone die
I was so sad I couldn’t cry
Like a sky
Being too cold to snow
I loved him so I let him go
But I found something else
In the depths of myself
That made everything clear
And I held him dear
But I couldn’t keep him
I woke from my sleep and
I thought it was all made up
For a moment but it was not enough
To quiet my shaking hand
As realisation made me understand
That the man under the sea
Behind the boat that he
Tried to rescue was simply  
A way of dealing with what I couldn’t control
It was so vast the waves didn’t roll
But made an empty silent sound
I’m lost for someone I want around
And she backed away from me
I let her go coz I want to be free
And she don’t understand 
I ignore her fatigue and her underhand
That strikes out
She is full of doubt
But that don’t make more solid stone
And we are both alone
Coz we can’t trust
The moment when the balloon went bust 
And splattered the paint
My mind couldn’t handle it so I faint
On the floor in front of Room One
No one knows the Sun
That shone
For a moment it was gone 
Then it reappear
And a friend I hold so dear
Told me I should get it checked out
But I just want to shout
It from the rooftop
That there is no bad cop
To fear
The Lord is ever near
And catches everyone like a net
It happened to me, now I can’t forget
All that has come to pass
The time goes by but this last
Through the seasons of change 
And the acting strange 
And the loss is not what I thought I knew 
I am always with you

Dropping The Bass

.Reading time 1 minute.
One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door 
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men 
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun

The Slow Wither

.Reading time 1 minute.
The slow wither
Like a flower losing its leaves
And I can’t comprehend 
How anyone believes
In a God of good things
In a loaded gun
Everything in creation 
Screams that it is One
And I’m not exactly Buddhist
And Christian loses lustre 
I’m mad busy at work
Trying not to get in a fluster
And then the peace comes
In a moment of prayer
I kneel before the altar
And I hear that I Am There
And I’m glad I keep something of you
Coz the body it is taken
And I can only hope that Heaven
Is there when you waken
Into your new life
At the foot of the hill
There’s a lot I have let go
But somethings I never will
Like your kindness and your smile
And the way you’re always there
I never doubted for a moment
That you truly care
And all I have left
Or so it seems
Is what I collected 
Hiding in moonbeams
But your presence comes to state
That simply isn’t so
You only come to wisdom 
In the instant you let go
And you can’t fake the fire
You barely contain
But just because you’re angry
Don’t mean you should fight the rain
As I lean into your essence
That has always felt like home
I’m sitting in solitude 
But I’m not alone
Coz you’re everywhere around me
In the midnight and the dawn
Don’t have to wait for death
Because you are not gone
And seeing you again
Is just to see you now
The walls have fallen down
And it’s because of you somehow

Historical

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I found diamonds amongst the rubies
And did you ever go to Gubies
I know it’s not your scene
It’s just you were my dream
Now you’re with some other chick
And I’m at home just thinking a candle wick
And, man,it burns
But the axis just turns
Like some mad spinning ball
Is that what unites us all
As I’m growing flowers in the wherewithal 
And you’ve gone door to door
You knocked on mine and what’s more
The ocean lets it’s own way on
But you look back and the sandcastle’s gone
What did we spend so long
For, what went wrong
When I spoke to you on the phone
How do I get you alone
And if I did
Could I steal what’s his
And have it for my own
You say we’re grown
But you act like a child
And I’m half wild
With flowers in my hair
I didn’t realise you were there
When you said; “em, ‘scuse me”
But you just wanna use me 
To fulfill your projection
And the rejection
Has us both reeling
What were you really feeling
Please don’t lay down the law
Ice like that will never thaw

Forever Shenanigans

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Forever shenanigans
Last longer than war
And when you're wondering what it's all for 
Look to your right and I'll be there
She thinks I don't care
But it's not that 
I just like him back
In a way I can't explain
It's like the falling rain
Doesn't give a reason why
And I'm terrified because I know that I 
Must suffer everyone to die
Til the day that I pass
And I'm not sure that even that last 
Coz, you know, reincarnation
Or heaven and hell and the tv station
Seems to reinforce that kind of show
And I can't let go 
Of all that passes like water through my hands
Like hourglass teaches the sands
To look like they fall
But you just turn the damn thing over and all
The story starts again
And you know that men
Look like they have it on lock
But when you look in their eyes they're not
All they appear to be
And I love that he's free
But, still, to me
He's the same old warrior I met
In a year I won't forget 
Coz it was almost past an hour
When I was overpowered
By the loss of a soulmate, friend
One moment you're fine
The next, the end
And you were at that show, in blue
And I spent time thinking of you
Til I was broken by the way of it all
At the lake, then a freefall
Into what I can't control
And I won't play the role
Of a faithful wife
Or a critic cynical about life 
I just gotta say
That it seems true that to go away
Is to come home
But I was never alone

Somewhere In The Multiverse

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Is everyone trying to escape
That vast, empty space
And I hold her at a distance
Arms length, or resistance
Coz she can't know
How I let you go
And the awning abyss
Is the only man I kiss
In the winter of my life
When I'm trying to survive the strife
Under the cover building turf
Could you tell me which is worse
Indifference or indecision
And I know you were subject of derision
But I shared 
In every vessel that cared
How the ship would float
And that boat 
Still sails a sea
Somewhere in the multiverse with me

Death And The End Of Things

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Death and the end of things
Did it clip my broken wings
Coz I saw it in every facet
Of a diamond hue
And counted down the days
Until it would take you
And now I’m thirty three
One day it’ll take me 
Away from the world of form
The world into which 
I was born 
And it was midnight when I realised
That everything I loved died
On the street that day
And it’s not okay
To just say
That all things end
And love’s around the riverbend
Coz they never seem to care
About what isn’t there
Where it once was 
And I got angry just because
I couldn’t change it
Couldn’t change anything 
So I find the lungs to sing
The song you taught me all those years ago
And it doesn’t take snow
To preserve a body cold
What happens to us when we get old
Do we live in regret
Replacing what hasn’t happened yet 
Coz the time has piled
And all the miles 
We go from the place where we were
And nothing can replace her
Not as hard as it tried
The world is full of lies
But there is a truth that just fails
To catch the wind that set my sails
Upon a foreign sea
Are you still watching over me
Or is it just rueful fate
I love and It forgets the hate

Lost

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Th ship is adrift on the ocean
Am I cliché if I claim emotion
Had me run ragged round the sea 
And I just long to see you with me 
Arms intertwined 
Diamonds mined 
Like solid gold bands 
On the ring fingers of both our hands 
But you broke the circle 
That held us as one 
Now I’m the daughter
And you are the son
Of the God who saves 
And I stared at the empty seat for days 
And gaslit myself 
Like San Diego
Never thought that you would play me though 
As you took your book and ran 
And I don’t think I can 
Let you in again
I think I’ll go search other men 
For that spark of soul in self 
I saw you with somebody else