You can’t stop the slow march of time You can only reveal the effortless sublime And Obama sang for yes we can But could the answer really be a man Who could lead us all to peace But it gets worse before the trouble cease And we all clamber, fighting the tide Did you notice you’re alive Or are you so lost in the stream That you don’t see beyond the edges of the dream As it binds you with its swell So much so that you can’t tell What is true or supposition Til pain hits you with its ammunition And we have got to learn how to deal With the fabric that Reality steal To make into a dress or suit And is Truth a just pursuit?
The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane
And if I lose is there something to gain
Coz I see you over there, from afar
You're radiant, a celestial star
And I just don't know what you are
But you raise the bar
On all that's yet to come
When you get older you realise that you're still young
On the verge of thirty three
Never realised old age would come to me
Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend
There's a beginning, middle and end
To every story that you ever tell
But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well
Coz it's all that there is
And I'm still His
As he moves the atoms in waves around
The nucleus with a doppler effect sound
And am I just trying to be smart
I made studying seem like an art
Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up
On the institution I used to love
But it brought me somewhere I've never been
Something I couldn't even think to dream
And I always thought I'd be a writer
But I hate conflict so please don't fight her
And if there's something to say
Could you please utter it in a kind way
Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose
But I just don't want to lose
As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine
I let go of the life that's mine
To be held in the expansive note
Of a God I can barely quote
Without referring to old wisdom
But I think light might be a prism
When you bend it to refract
I saw the truth, now I can't go back
It was momentary Just a little hint of stardust As we danced to the silence of your heart And I realized we would never be apart That there’s something in your eyes It’s in the movies in disguise And I remember watching Yvaine Soar above the pain In that summer of 08 It was August and every breath that I take Informs me of something new And, honey, it was you
Now you’re far away And weaving in and out between Dancing in Some kind of dream And there are words I don’t utter But when you smile I melt like butter Into a puddle at your feet I’m still absorbed by the way a black hole will meet The light that moves to its own pulse And I must inquire does love repulse Opposite poles like two magnet shapes Did I fall in love or did I forsake
And we’re all at sea in our separate lives We do anything just to survive But I catch you catch hold of my hand Help me into a carriage I don’t understand As it takes me somewhere new There is scenery but it sings of you And the us we could be Or already are like water is free To flow through rather than under And I may have deleted your number But it’s just coz I’m defeated and going under The tidal weight of the ocean we are You caught my eye like a shooting star
I see myself standing on a stage Standing up for that which does not age And we all cascade like a waterfall Into the ocean to enthrall And I don’t know who I’m gonna be I just know the open sea Is pulsing within my veins It doesn’t go by the normal names Just something infinite You know you’ll be alright
Deep in disguise I wade through the water You somebody’s son I’m the moon’s daughter And I slip sideways Out of the scene You were the best part Of my dream And I watched you watch me You took my pic You grabbed the towel And the gear stick Shook in my hand Said goodbye to Sam You said he’ll be grand And I drove you home It was just the two of us All alone And you stopped to stare I stopped the car And met you there And I wonder if I’ll ever see You looking again like that at me As I shared on a screen Some kind of light show I’d tell you the truth If you want me to, you know All the love in my heart And you were a rouge kind of dark As you let the wilderness consume I watch you from across the room
I fight with my femininity It evokes love But I can’t tie myself To any of the above Only open my heart For peace to be shared Open my notebook To say that I cared And that I’m not In this quiet, tight space But dreaming of days When I touch your face Telling you all You mean to me Not closing the door So you can be free And I know that I have put out More than I take back And I have been hobbling Over what I lack But the sight of you Is like a comet true And I’m shaking just thinking Of what I would do If you were mine To have and to keep To wake up beside A good nights sleep And you’re kind and you’re awesome I’ve been keeping you away I look down at my feet Coz I don’t know what to say And you tell me I’m lovely And beautiful He left me empty Now I am full Of a joy that’s brimming Full of trust Can I come in, baby It’s a must And you look at me As if I defy The life I’m leading As some kind of lie But I just wanna be Myself again A woman in A world full of men Telling me how I should contain This heart of mine That’s broken with pain But shining with gold As I repair The parts of myself That knows you are there That knows there is kindness And there is truth More than monuments I’ve built to our youth And nobody knows Or can describe The feeling of loving Breath when you’re alive And I’m haunted by loss And the threat of death Keep living days Full of regret Coz I can’t control The passing of seasons Or people with pride And a bowl full of reasons And is it insincere To proclaim my devotion To the silence In all the commotion As I feel the movement Of a pin drop Signaling winter Or the moment to stop And take in an aside Of all we’re meant to be I didn’t know if you knew So I’m letting you see
You’re running in my blood You’re running in my veins And it’s like the man said That I am strange Coz I just can’t be awful to make a point I’m only messing, don’t knock yourself out of joint In trying to be normal and to fit in I come and go but it’s always him I return back to in the midnight Where there’s no need to ask if you’re alright Coz you are and the stars shine from your sky We’re together forever so there’s no goodbye Waiting in the wings of a terrible dawn When you wake up and realise that it’s all gone Like the boy I loved when I was seventeen But the wind escaped from a terrible dream The one I roll in like the sea When the current is demolishing me Til all and sundry is broken and beaten Like you have you’re cake but it will remain uneaten And I never got to hold his hand But the sight of him sure was grand Til the brutal tide that won’t be surpassed Came at me til I was harassed Trying to get on with half an act It’s like it was fucking awful and I can’t go back To where I was before it began And you become an also ran Til I’m knocking my head against the wall Coz I can find no silence in it all But the peace it came and kissed my face When I was an abject disgrace When nothing could save me from defeat I was run down and knocked off my feet And I try to get back up and walk It’s like telling the wind it has to talk When it can only whisper nothings on the breeze Do you know the feeling when your heart starts to seize And you’ve got nothing but ragged breath Saying to yourself there’s no regret But just one that I ever let you go And another that I never let him know The true depths of feeling that pumps a course My circuitry and the remorse
I’m exhausted fighting the tide Oh what does it mean to be alive Is it treading water or surfing the waves Is it falling down or being brave Coz I cannot seem to find a story When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me As I question every facet of a different hue It’s who I am not what I didn’t do Living on the brink of a well worn facade Diving deep beyond feeling bad And finding the Heaven life has in store You think this is it then it’s a bit more And I don’t draw diagrams for fun I’m all architecture and you’re the one As we build and we break But we own each and every breath that we take And every step that we walk We must be integrity not mere talk But the sun on the land Or the good looking lad in a band That caught my eye Oh, I feel I could fly But doubt my wings It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things As he meets my stare Holds himself like he’s really there And I cannot ignore The unconditional that I implore Not to leave me And you wouldn’t believe me If I told you the truth The monumental and my youth
Are you threatened by the female Do you reverberate Am I meant to give up On myself in that state Or is there a way To be and grow I gave you a chance To have me, you know But you turned away From the dance I split the boil With a lance Til all the pus Came spewing out The knife was quick As my wit, no doubt
Taking a bite into the blue And it comes up the colour of you As I dive into the ocean And it’s all rhythmic motion In the life I cannot live Is it time to forgive The darkness of my past Who knew that this would last So very long Correct me if I’m wrong But you loved that I love that song As you curl up by my side Say that I make you feel alive And now it’s all gone away What was it you didn’t say Coz I’m dying to know And I won’t leave it be so Just tell me what you need to admit I looked at you and I sit Beside you surreptitiously Vulnerably confess to me Like a secret you can’t bear to keep I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep
There were so many men That stood at the show Most of them With hair white as snow If at all I guess aging Is it’s own freefall But the room rose To congratulate Them for losing A peace of slate On the houses you could build Nothing can happen unless it’s willed And some shores come crashing to the sea But you can’t blame them if you ask me I see their fragility As the applause rings Like the song somebody sings And it’s an empty refrain Coz loss is heaven unless it’s pain And the cataclysm reached my door I couldn’t say I hate them anymore Coz nothing but words spell the times Could you convict them of war crimes Or all that’s legitimate It is when there’s a story you’re running with
She’s rewriting the rule book Like I did with a school look As I ran up and down the halls Some are chasing dreams, I’m chasing walls To keep me safe and closeted in But it takes a breath for the night to begin And once it does you can’t go back Obsessed with how they have all you lack And she shines But I’ve written that story a thousand times As I begged to be let in Then got caught in the full glare of a grin That suddenly shone on me Asked for my hand and my integrity And I fell victim to An obsession with the form of you When the midnight calls my name And I nonchalant all the same Your absolutely sincere Does intimacy mean more than near Coz this close is comfortable Like we’re both being vulnerable And almost to touch I gotta say I love you so much Behind the folds of a page This moment will never age
We’re up here at 39000 feet Where the cold is warm as the elements meet And make a force of nature new If you don’t know I’m talking about you As somewhere we swim inside the depth And the best thing about Now is what is unmet By the forest in kind of trees and of beers And I lost myself in the years and years Trying to find what can’t be described All the while knowing I’m still alive Coz I feel this heart beat through my skin But there’s a part of me that’s deeper within Than any skin and bone can mend And death is simply not the end Just a continuum of undefended peace Or a moment of great release As all of the sidewalks lead into one Trust in God and in the Son
Is it okay that I vibe with thirty Two now I’m in the scene So many years Since I woke the dream Up from where she lay On the floor She thought she could worship And adore But I showed her the light that shine All that is hers not mine As catastrophic landed her there Well, that along with meditative prayer And the love almost beat Her heart to death As she swore She would not forget All that had come to pass Impermanence cannot last Amid the landscape of the true Was I wrong to reveal it all to you At so young an age Get up from the ground and grab a page Write it out All that fear and all that doubt Like spilled ink Honey you don’t have to think To know just what you are I’m watching you through a star
The source of her love is effulgent flame And it kills me that others don’t feel the same As they hear her plaintive cry And leave her in the rubble to die But I grab her hand, pull her out of there Wash the wounds, show her some care Tell her about the mystery That lies within both you and me And she starts to revive Feeling the tremble of being alive As she takes each breath Scared she can’t put her feet to the floor yet In case it shakes She looks at me through all her mistakes And trusts and lets go and comes to be All that she Is eternally
I think I would steal away home To find the letters you wrote on stone In tablet form with a stylus The reams of literature can’t confine us Coz we are a storm by the light of day But in the night we are okay As you put one finger on my pulse And wait for the racing heart to lull Into the birth of silent trust The reams of gold that will not rust Only gaze in steady charm The love of God is safe from harm
Can I just lie here on your chest Be done with all the doing my best And just slip into a peaceful slumber You’re calling me but I lost your number And the answer’s like a dictaphone I’m in my room all alone Dreaming of a time less hidden And waves to roll that stroll unbidden And monuments are the days to come The forever in the being young But the timeless in the growing old There’s part of the story that’s never told But waits in stillness and in silence whole The power of love to wake the soul The power of emptiness come undue The strength in the gaze of you The solidity and the trust I’ll give up the pain if it’s a must And if you’re serious about the past Then the future will everlast But the truth is in a moment free We’re talking and he’s looking at me As the time flies by and the hours pass I didn’t know your name, didn’t think to ask But smile as if it’s all left to do I’m in love and it’s with you
Afraid of my own words It’s like a tree being afraid of the birds Never mind, it’s true I can’t hide any of this from you As I take pencil to page To rattle the walls of every cage To let the dark out The demons can’t hurt you if you shout And call the sky into being It is the waves that I am freeing To know their ocean nature Like the moon so in tune with every crater I smile at the good of it all Cause I found solid ground in the freefall
Careful anonymity is the name of the game As I breathe through it like it’s all the same And I protect what I see But it draws upon eternity To here and there and let the surge As I feel the moment when I merge With all that is or could be You look at me, do you see I’m free And yet held back by errant chains That fall from the sky like rains Everywhere to conspire Lift up what must take you higher Then soar into your own soul Deeper than the waves that roll Back where it is completely still Beyond the realm of hate and will But thundered prose knows the beat And it walks itself with my two feet To suddenly surprise the day I’m fine, you know, is that okay?
I don’t want the traditional life Not hand to shoulder then be a wife I want to soar with my wings full open Not getting by or how you coping I want to see the stars with my own eyes I want to shed my leaves like a disguise And stand solid like a tree Are you making fun of me Coz I know you are all motion And I am still, I’m just supposing You think I’ve missed out on stuff But there’s more than one way to love There’s more than one way to be But it’s rare the one who really see With their own eyes deliberately Don’t think you’ve made a fool of me Cause I dive in loving the water Priceless doesn’t mean you’ve bought her Only that you’ve reserved a space In the corner of her face When she smiles up at you I love it coz I would too
Are we loved up to the stars Sideways and we’re dodging cars That try to chase us down the street The glory of our cute meet On a train or a bus Or public transportation I always look out for you When I’m at the station In case you come riding into town I wanna make sure that I’m around And they all have me down as a fool As smart as I was in school They have me thieving timbers Crawling through the ashen cinders And I’m forever ago To you But I smile when you want me to Just to flash that grin of yours I’m sure the earth adores Ever child of hers as much as I do you The needle and thread are pulling through To make a new tapestry I loved you so I set you free
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Oxegen was something of a revelation They always said I was above my station Staring into stars like that But I’ve caught the bug and I want you back
Threading together the words of my life
Do I grow up just to be a wife
Or is there another fortune for me
Can I live in a world set free
From its strictures, from its holds, from the prison bars
Cause, man, I’m all about chasing cars
Lying in a field on my own
The moon alone knows how much I’ve grown
As I try to let the memory erase
The feeling of being out of place
The feeling of not quite fitting in
And the joy of being with him
But does it have substance, can it reign
I stepped outside of time and left the pain
Where it was on the windowsill
Some say I’m lonely but I never will
Coz there’s something about solitude
That’s better than any chick or dude
There’s something about subside
When you feel the peace arise
And I know tomorrow will take care of itself
And this moment is abundant wealth
But could you forgive me for my flaws
For us running wild like outlaws
Or a stray vagabond
There was that time I dyed my hair blond
Just to be a younger version
Of myself, now the car is swerving
Into traffic I can't control
It's like the waves crash as they roll
Back unto another shore
I can't help but love you more
You’re in the past But the feeling’s still present I wonder if I could Knock on your door guessing Wondering If you’d let me in And I would explain Everything about him That it was momentary A flash in the pan But you are everything That I am And I’d pause and then say Wait for you to reply Hope we could be close Before we both die Coz life is so brief It’s barely a flicker I ran after you Your steps just got quicker Til you slowed yourself down To the sound of my voice Say, I didn’t know That there was a choice And look at me In a sort of awe I’m sorry I’m lovely And kind of outlaw And you take forever Just to answer Say, I took you for love Not a dancer And I beg you to listen With the words that I say It’s just I’ve never been heard In quite that way And the silence is deafening But so is the noise And I’ve been all about men And one of the boys But you take time To really know me I give you space As we walk so slowly Into a garden That none suspect I thought our love And the whole thing was wrecked But you say it’s not And you press my pulse Into my wrist As the lightning dulls The terrifying pain Of being right here And not knowing what To say to you, my dear But there is just an always In between us it resides And my heart’s the kind of thing That simply abides In the summer, in the winter Trundling through the snow I loved you so much I let you go But if you really Want to be right here Then I am waiting For you, my dear The doors unlocked And you have a key So no need to go Second guessing me No need to go drawing A line in the sand Just look into my eyes And hold my hand And feel my heart Beating tremor It’s just like you’ve Found true love forever
There's a mysterious woman in my soul
And she doesn't care how the waves may roll
She comes in nice and easy
Like a summer sea, warm and breezy
And though I try to hide her away
She comes up bubbling with what she wants to say
To decry the auspices of power
Yet not to be weak nor tremble and cower
She shines like the light that comes from the sun
But is soft as the silver moon when it is young
And all the stories you can tell yourself
Are just suppressing the abundant wealth
That grows in fertile ground in the psyche
We tremble with trouble but I dunno, might we
Ever fail to ask the question
Are we living on mere suggestion
To avoid the point we make
I offer it up for God's sake
So that He might make repair
To all that's in need of some care
And I do not forget the fallow fields
Or the way the grass grows as it yields
To a wind of superior heights
Wash me away in the firelight
The trees just stand tall They don’t go running around And a leaf falls in silence To land on the ground And the age rolls on by me It’s a calamitous affair And I’m asked by my soul To receive the prayer That it is offering Up to the sky There is that that lives on Even when we die There is that that wakes Even when we sleep There’s no promise you can make That it will not keep And I’m walking the aisles Of the ruin of me Wondering if The rain could be set free As it pours in through A hole in the roof Living my life Must be the proof Of all that’s gone by And all that’s yet to come But if you look for this moment You’ll find it is one One with the dark One with the dawn One within That can never be gone That keeps on rolling The hills and the valleys The no we can’t’s And maybe we, shall we’s But in the end It all comes down to this Will you seize the moment Or will you miss It as it Goes passing by I’m sorry, my love But I had to try To win you over And take my chance Now I move with the wind And watch the leaves dance In a symphony Of quietude The noise subsides And you’re a pretty cool dude Who keeps me there By a thread I profess my love You stay silent instead And the roar of the ocean cannot drown out The waves of me and my doubt As I fail to see What you’re asking for I look at you And I adore Everything that is there to see Could you picture you with me?
That he might be under the same sky Thinking of me Makes the ocean of waves Roar with the sea And I’ve got fire And tenacity But there are forests of green I’ve yet to be And he’s cool as a breeze And warm as the air Coming up from the Azores Without a care And what do you think This planet would be If it wasn’t populated By humanity Could you walk without fear Roam without a care I only know pride Because he is there And I only know windows Coz I’ve looked so long Into the spaces Where he seems to be gone And all of the avenues All the winding paths Just seem to keep leading me The same way back To his doorstep At the edge of the woods I can say that I’m here This time for good And the wind it howls And pulls at my dress But there’s something right here I’ve got to confess That I love you always Unconditionally true And I’m only ever wishing The best for you But it seems times have changed And the world’s turned around And maybe you’re listening To my kind of sound As it plays on the radio Frequency waves And there’s something about A hero who saves Me from the lies With a single glance We’re in the car park But do you want to dance Would you take my hand Do I regret that tome Where I wandered wilderness All alone Only to find Your hand in mine You are for always Always for all time
I love whiskey In a Baileys glass Do you like to drink? Do you have to ask? Because it makes me feel More like myself Every now and then It’s good for my mental health And I don’t get locked But I do like to dance Around in my pj’s Like a second chance Like there’s nobody watching Coz nobody is Unless you count the Lord But I’m already his And I smile at the sunshine In the dark of night Coz there’s something within me That’s a lot like the light They describe in tomes And I shake it off The rhythm of the alones That sometimes subsides But other times I believe That heart is just something I keep on my sleeve And if nothing is everything Why do you grieve I walk the path But where does it lead Coz the road has been trodden By many a soul But can you still love When the story’s been told?
I’ve no interest in travel But I’d move Heaven and Earth for you I’d span the oceans near and wide Just so we could be close to The great divide that keeps us apart The diamond in your soul And you may have grown, but I woulda known If your waves suddenly started to roll If the tide had started to beat A steady rap on my door I gaze into distances far and away Always hoping for a little bit more And you were young and beautiful Now you’re craggy and grey You used to love me Now you drag me each day As I try to build fortresses To what was There’s an army storming gates At the lakes of because And who are you when you look in the mirror Do you dine with a shirt and tie And could you state or equivocate What’s become just a really big lie And dawn comes each morning To shelter the night In the ages we part just to ignite The paper I’ve been setting up How could you look at me and not call it love
Trusting in the Christ Was the best decision of my life And I’m no girl to be a wife Just one to bring the light And I’ve always trusted in you From the living room to the pew Singing songs in tribute to The glory and the faith I have in you And darkness eventually came to call I’m young and lying against a wall Crying tears in a free for all But you brought the love to stop the fall And lift me up, now I’m on my feet And I know there’s nothing I could meet That would bring me defeat Now that your mercy speak For me amongst the chasm so bleak How am I standing if I’m weak And there’s nothing left to seek Now that I’ve found that holy heat That burns in the heart of me A consciousness that’s been set free As I proclaim eternity In every blade of grass that I see Called upon to be the voice To speak silence in the noise And draw all souls into you Just tell me what to do
There were days with Darragh When my point of view was decidedly narrow He saw me like a girl, I saw him like a friend It has been years though and it doesn’t end As I still reflect on his heartbeat When we danced with both our feet And shine with all our might I can’t ignore your candlelight And your fire that just burn It’s more than degrees we earn As we spend time into each other’s company And I’m always thinking, what does he want of me But he just smiles and looks in my eyes I let go camouflage I keep to disguise The darkness in the heart of my soul But he just surfs the waves that I roll And then laughs when he sees my car Buys me a drink at the bar And makes me smile, makes me laugh And he does it all without me needing to ask And I wonder does his fire sign match mine As we dance to the rhythm of the rhyme And he’s red as a burning flame I’m surprised he even remembers my name But his is etched upon my skin I loved him so I let him in Let him see the hesitate And he just pulls me out of that state And never ever makes me wait But breaks apart into something new I don’t know if you know who you are, do you?
Does eternity gaze at you When you’re staring at the stars And do you think you could see their lights Through your prison bars Coz we’re all in the gutter But some of us are looking up Is it just a mirage To say that I’m in love Coz the guy don’t even know me Or so it would seem And he’s looking for a girlfriend Not for a sky high queen And I can’t figure out what it may mean My friend says it’s an expression of what I dare to dream And he’s taken by another so I’ve got to let it go I say I’m not cold, though I’m standing in the snow And he was like a stranger that day on the phone I’d never felt so embarrassed or left all alone As I told him that I loved him, that I held him dear And he made the situation all too crystal clear And I’m just clutching at straws Because the ice never thaws I’m just frosting up the glass And he was just lounging on the grass As I waited and I wondered And slightly ran away Out of fear of what I felt And of what I might say Because it’s too good to be true This couldn’t be real That I get all I want And spare cards to deal And it’s so obvious He’s what I’m looking for As I stand outside Just staring at his door And there’s light and there’s warmth But it’s all inside I’m shivering and I’m shaking From the window where I hide Do I finally let this go Or knock and be seen I wouldn’t mind the weather Coz it is just a dream And there are passers by Telling me, go home I didn’t dare to mention That it’s inside an iPhone And I dig my hands down deeper Into the pockets of my coat I’m taking this too far And what is worse I know it So I take one last look As I head for the trees To live a life of freedom Instead of living on my knees But as I go I hear a shout That he can’t do without I turn and I glare And he’s just standing there In a dressing gown and slippers Looking oh so calm But I can’t run back To another false alarm And anyway he’s got company And I won’t lead astray Go back to what you made It’ll be the break of day And we’re miles apart In the feet that we span And I’ll always love you Though I don’t know if you can Love me just to leave me So let me go this time I would if I could, he says But you’d still be mine And I glower and I pout Though it does me no good He frowns in return As I turn back for the wood Because I can’t do this Anymore, my love I don’t have a reason So look to God above And you’ll find your answers It’s everything they say Maybe I am strong To leave this and away But he pulls me with force The mere magnet strength And I look for my courage Coz I don’t know where it went As I’m grappling with stones Trying to get a hold And all of this flipping the switch Is getting old And anyway, who is she And how can I say That I can’t find adequate Means to stay away And she’s silent and staring Just looking at me Trying to fight With his gravity In the den of the house That used to be mine But he threw me out When I took the time To really study And explore The nature of A solid floor So I relent, give in And feel myself swayed It’s not for loneliness That this is okayed And they both turn around Leave the door open A little glance back But I amn’t coping And freezing I rise Up to my feet As I step on the mat It’s neighbors they greet And I see the old furniture I used to know Step into the light And let the pain go Give up on the solitary Lone expanse Though it’s been years Since we thought to dance And I see there’s a room At the end of the hall With a door open He says it’s yours and all And I finally know Come to realise That they’re living in what I built for their lives And all this time We’re waiting to see The masterpiece Foretold by me In the din, in the quiet In the subside I lay down to rest And close my eyes To finally know A slumber that’s real He didn’t leave me He just let me feel All of his peace So that I could deal With the moment as It’s resting long And my God I belong! And she doesn’t hate me Coz it is cool I think I may have Dreamt this in school So I rub my eyes Shake myself out Get rid of the fear Lose all the doubt Find the heart That heats my soul All is Love That’s the story I’m told
I’d wait for you forever Forever and a day Love you unconditional Baby, come what may And I know you’ve got your attitude I know you’ve got your pride And I have a tendency To run away and hide But I can see us in the morning When the sun kisses the sky Among the waves of clouds And wondering the reason why And I know you’ve got your love I know you’ve got your heart It’s just I don’t think that we Should ever be apart But shine like a diamond In a twofold connect I don’t think the earth Has seen the best of us yet Coz I am full of fire And red vibrancy You’re as blue as the ocean And as deep as love can be And together we make something That could only free I tried to push the point Coz I don’t think that you see And you call me revolutionary A laid back rebel soul I call you like the chasm That is the waves to roll And everything is scorching But it’s also pretty cool I see you like the summer We met after school Just laughing on the bus As we made our way back I didn’t give you a reason For you to hide what you lack Coz everything is seen In this closeness that we wear We’re tangled up like Spiderman In the cobwebs of my hair And it’s just a dream I’m having Or it’s on the astral plane But you come to call Over and over again And I can’t keep you out From the warmth in my heart I don’t know why I’d want to But I think we’re gonna start To make something as real And as beautiful as true I didn’t tell you at the time But I’m madly in love with you
Cheers to you Stephen O’ Brien You made the days feel like they were flying When I was stuck in a peculiar hell And you were the one that I’d tell Now I’m raising a glass to your sincere Your beautiful and held dear With your rugged ways and your intone We’re just talking on a video phone And I catch myself then laugh out loud You are something to be proud Of now the days are short You’re something yourself I retort As we’re held in this glance for a moment or two There’s just something about you I wonder if space and time Would ever repaint your days as mine And I know you could call this therapy But you’ve got to know what you mean to me As I throw asunder all the folds And creases to be brave and bold You can’t believe this is all I am There’s more to me and I know you can See beyond the apparent face To the depths of profound Grace To the love that’s held between us both I’d wear you like an overcoat As you just laugh and crease your eyes And I’ve got no time for goodbyes Just the moment that’s held in a stare I love you coz you were there And made me feel like I was home Instead of in a room all alone I gotta know, you gotta see What would the days be like if we We’re to make this something else I know I’m getting ahead of myself But you’re magnificent and perfectly prose And I’d walk down any of your roads If it meant that I could catch your eye You’re alright, man, it’s worth a try
I'm building a home
Out of all that I've seen
And there are ways
To wake from the dream
To give up the long fight
With yourself and the sky
We move and we walk
But we never know why
And life, it is changing
But it's always the same
You were born on this Earth
Without a name
To grow and to learn
To thrive and to be
Always yourself
Quintessentially free
Sailing a ship to the furthest forever
Irrespective of bad weather
Setting sail upon the tide
Life or death I’ll be alive
As the wind lifts me high
Upon the mast that I fly
No grounded bird to always be
But on the wings of the free
“I break chains all by myself Won’t let my freedom rot in hell Imma keep runnin’ Coz a winner don’t quit on ’emselves”
***
Its the sheer indignation
That captivity could be love
And they hold it out to you
Like a hand in a glove
Such a beautiful cage
Here I have prepared
All you must do is enter
Then you will always be there
So I smile and I sidle
Over to the door
I take out my chainsaw
And the cage is no more
And the look of devastation
To see their brittle bars
Shattered on the floor
Of who do you think you ares
But I know what I am
And I know who I’ll be
Go find somebody else
Because I am free
That was never what I wanted anyway
A purchase order to make you stay
A sacrifice to buy me time
On your arm or in your mind
And now comes the chorus of regular love
That pales in comparison to all of the above
That doesn’t make me sign away
A life inside the music box you play
But it is pale blue and pastel
Where you took it all and me as well
Into a chasm or ocean deep
Full of the secrets that we keep
Even now, so many miles from here
There’s a boundary line and we keep clear
From the rushing silver of an oncoming train
And the pounding pictures in our brain
That regurgitate long worn down facts
About loving someone who doesn’t love you back
That fit us both just at different times
And when I wanted you you weren’t mine
But bulletproof and cascading
The storm you’ve spent your life evading
As I see the corner of your eye
That doesn’t want to speak but dares me to try
Against your insolent up in arms
We both took walks in the surrounding farms
Down the alleyways of country lanes
Feeling out of place with peculiar pains
That tell me, tell me something’s missing
That its your face I should be kissing
The man I love, the only one
I was there when the world begun
With your hand slotted right into the ridge
Of my knuckle bones, that’s the way it is
From now until forever ends
Our destiny clashes where the line bends
And with collision force of love crossed stars
To lose it all when I lose my heart
Because now I’m sworn to another
Well I was all along and you’re still my brother
As we simile at the infraction
You gain ground to keep traction
As landslide goes your house and home
I know that you are all alone
Though the fire’s warm and crackles the hearth
No one answers when you call the dark
But hang up when you lift the phone
I know the feeling though it isn’t shown
So smile in that photograph you take
I’ll be here when you wake
You’re at the edge of unquantifiability
And I can’t say I follow the line
Of your string theory interscope
Though I spend all of my time
Trying to decipher
The markings on your skin
Evidence of a tribal
That has scarred you from within
And you are like an animal
That scares easily from man
Though I don’t blame you
Cause you see what no one else can
And it is heartbreak to be crushed
Under your sleight of hand
And my only consolation
Is that you understand
Just what you are doing
As you slowly rip to shreds
All the scattered of the pieces
That are floating in my head
But I drift away
On the wavelength of a sound
That bends in quadratics
When you’re not around
And anchors me deeper
Into the roots I have grown
You are the only loss
The earth has ever known
As it spirals kaleidoscopic
And pierces my bodily flesh
It was just a misapprehension
When I felt you knew me best
As we matched fingertips
As we sat hand to hand
The undiscoverable
Opened out the land
That spread freedom wide
Amid the loveliness untold
But it not enough
And we fall back into the fold
That we both feel hit home
At having been cast out
Of the abyss we were born from
Now the birds are heading south
As I realise targeted
Arrows hit only once
You eyes do not meet mine
And I have lost the sun
That year was a wasteland and I was the bomb
That you dropped from the plane with some aplomb
Just cause your territory had been invaded
And a hole pierced through the veil you masqueraded
And all of the people who lost their lives
Are collateral damage so your city thrives
And I in the moment was eviscerated
My parts to obliterate what you created
And though you are fine and in your warm chair
You lost much more than I did there
To perish what you do not understand
And show the world the wrath of your hand
Then blame it on timing or the way things go
Others may believe you but I know
And hold in my spirit all you tried to destroy
But you’re not a man, no you are just a boy
Who’s playing at games he knows nothing about
If you’re a real king then you don’t have to shout
Or make others suffer for what you cannot spare
I looked for your heart but it wasn’t there
So lay claim to the story and the narrative
History is written by those who cannot forgive
But instead draw lines to denote what they’ve won
But it’s only the living you can kill with a gun
And prove that you are the sun in the sky
But even you too must die
And face your maker or the absence of one
You’ll look for me back but I am done
And never will hesitate the time
I let you go and felt the sublime
As aching powers crave the root
They can never touch the absolute
It’s a peculiar kind of humiliation the way I’ve grown to feel
When you place your trust in someone and the way they cut the deal
And you can’t really blame them when they pull the rug away
Cause you never in your heart of hearts expected them to stay
And all your family converged on where the wound congeals
But though they profess their understanding, they can’t fathom how it feels
And should I lash out in anger and be certified insane
Or find another way that I can express my pain
As I writhe and I lose my wits end over you
They try to make me act the way I’m supposed to
As they hang my arms like puppeteers into a normal life
And I let them move my body under the vacant expression in your eyes
The complete renunciation of what you’d previously adored
Now I’m just the soundtrack someone else has scored
As the chains grow round me, like vines, I’m too weak to fight
And all that fueled me before, now I have no appetite
Cause it has lost its meaning without the love that you imbue
And what’s the point in dancing if I’m not doing it for you
Though you have got your lines that say I’m better off
In bitterness and agony I hold your memory aloft
And cave in on myself to the cracking of my ribs
Tell me I’ll find somebody who’ll be happy I am his
But I am not a man’s woman to marry and to own
I only fell for you because I was alone
In your presence and I found I didn’t have to be
An amelioration of myself or lose my liberty
And I guess I got confused and mistook what just confounded
One in an eternity the lightning bolt you grounded
But just because you had earthed me back into the source
Didn’t mean you really cared for what had taken me by force
As striking in your eyes when the connection hit
It was not in your stature a place you chose to sit
So you have me blinded, inconsequentially
And you must be reminded to extract yourself gingerly
Lest you push me over an edge I fell from long ago
You don’t have call in those who will try to soften the blow
And take me from that place as I am struggling to grasp
The meaning of a death I did not think would last
Now they tie me to a chair and chemically calm
My shaking and their supplements are suppressing the alarm
That is ringing in my head and trying to break through
The foggy overtures that are obscuring you
And my eyes they cannot see and all my speech is slurred
To think the time you spent with me was inhabited by her
And I know I should be happy but I find myself contained
Inside the strictures of a world that hasn’t changed
And all your magic prose and your incandescent stories
Are only symptomatic of how I revelled in your glories
And the ancient smorgasbord of different shades of black
Are not efforts of your urging but what is never coming back
And its institutional to be begging at their feet
But you are starving and they beat you til you give in to eat
Though it may be poison and lead to your demise
I guess I lost it all and my independence dies
As I lay down on the bed and concede to be operated on
Though they cannot fix what is already gone
Their sutures leave a scar and I will forever bear the mark
Of what it is to be consumed by the wolves out in the dark
But though they may undo me til I’m a shade of my old self
They cannot command the soul beyond their timing belt
And the pictures that they make of the architecture of my being
Are only surface breaking waves to signal what I’m freeing
And I know you want me complicit in my own subjugation
But I’m not what you can train into a pleasant conversation
There is an ocean beneath that you have not explored
I’m not what you hypothesise standing on the shore
I tried to find permanency in the things you approved of
Cause you always seemed like you were right
You walked with a kind of confidence
That had no doubt as to what you could fight
But I fell into the abyss
Waiting for you to care
And hopscotching myself along the lines
Of what I didn’t want to wear
And everwhere there seems to be
Instructions on how to live
But its like chasing down paper planes
Along rivers that don’t exist
And I seek one moment to turn forth
For the love I bear you in my chest
But each time I do I am crippled
Crossing lines that you destest
Whether I’m too near or too far
Its like a balancing act
And it doesn’t really serve a purpose
To swear by what you retract
And I could play these guessing games
For the milleniums before me
I know that it is selfishness
I just want you to adore me
And I’m not really seeing the practicalities
Of loving on request
I know I never measured up
When you put me to the test
So all that I can offer you
Is the silence that consumes
As I’m absorbed into the night
The darkness resumes
And you will always have the meaning
You inescapably are
But I am not just a sweeper
To kick when times get hard
And I know that there will be resolved
An answer to our souls
I just think I was mistaken
When I thought you made me whole
And our spirited undertones
Just patchworked the quilt
Something drove the blade in
And it broke off at the hilt
Now there is a forest wide
Of time and space and words
But every time I see your face
I forget what I have heard
And conjured up again
Is a memory infantile
When I looked for you to be just there
But you had run a mile
And the stabbing jealousy
Pierces deep into my side
As I look at the perfection
Of you without me in your life
As accolades and flowers
Flow freely into your hands
I wish that I could stop the wish
That you would understand
Me just as I am
And revel in my presence
But I stayed too long
Now the moon is just a crescent
Of the whole that it was
Signalling an eon of time
That moves the waves in rhythm
To the era you were mine
And these convoluted feelings
Are all about possession
I thought that I could do without
The wounds of my window dressing
As I come to the conclusion
That my heart is made of stone
And maybe I would be better off
If I just leave you alone
Like you’ve been begging me for centuries
Implicitly in your eyes
A monumental cacophony
The whole world denies
Though you always seem to find
Someone to match your heart
And I wonder why it was not I
Who could fulfil that part
So sadness will ensue
My subtle self exile
I guess that I will never be
The light behind your smile
Crafting wishes like dreams in an ancient pocketbook
You’re not sure where to go so you have to look
At the odes you wrote time and again
About reaching that place you can’t quite remember when
But flipping through notes will never reveal
The love adults cannot heal
As you realise in fields of wildflowers
That you have lost most of your powers
And weak is the energy that emenates
From what you used to dominate
As vibrancy hues give up their colour
For the revelation of something other
And you can’t pave the path with stones you can’t lift
And whatever you choose there’s something you missed
As the sharpness of truth bites with fangs
That you never carried out any of your plans
And the goodness you saw in yourself and others
Just further emphasises what you’ll never discover
That you cannot hold death in the palm of your hand
And cannot bring back the oceans they spanned
For for all your anger that prompts defiance
You cannot escape your inherent reliance
On the sun, the clouds, the air you breathe
Its only cause you have life you know how to bleed
And as it is taken by inches, degrees
You want something of substance to see where it leads
So independently consumed as you are
You cannot govern the flight of a falling star
As the laws of gravity pull to the earth
The force of your demands cause you to hurt
As solid resistance meets its counterpart
In the stubbornness of an open heart
And you swore you would rather burn all your days
Than act out the script of someone elses plays
But the grand design just laughs at attempts
And accentuates why you are exempt
From finding a solution by holding on hands
That will momentarily be dust baked by the sands
But somewhere in all this cavalcade
I founder a speaker where my song played
And knotted the twines undone by the seal
Of an authority that doesn’t know how I feel
So captive bound and under duress
I realise the answer I can’t express
That the butchery of modern times
Doesn’t stand up to the light that shines
Unnamably from the source
Of the river that must run its course
And meet again in perfect flow
The end of what it doesn’t know
So plaited in between my lines
Is the home within that defines
Not the abode of mankind
But divinty I thought I’d left behind
And all my trips just emanated
From the desire to have that hunger sated
Calling for an unpayable price
To let go of all the work on site
While I am building castled skies
The liberation lets go and flies
As fluidity of a timeless era
The cobwebs only make it clearer
That I have never exercised my right
To the freedom of wordless goodbyes
Its like trying to focus on a star that’s too far away
I just get more faded when you try to read what I say
For meaning and purpose, for strength and due
I was just trying on the skin of you
But there you go again making me so confused
I’m like a galaxy that has finally fused
Itself with another light years apart
And now there’re two souls linked by the heart
And it may look easy to be icy and cold
But I can’t sustain as my cards start to fold
And collapse in a heap, back at square one
As I wonder what in the hell I have done
And I’ve been reprimanded many a time
For leaving my love out to dry on the washing line
And attracting strangers to come to my door
And point out in detail what they adore
But they all look crestfallen when I refuse
Reciprocality doesn’t light my fuse
As I am earthed by the dynamite
Of being alone after midnight
Where there in the secret unbound hours
I revel in all the universe powers
Whether by the moon or in the dark
I don’t need directions to fall apart
Though it may look like a collasal mistake
It’s fueled to perpetualize the state
Of freedom from the earth’s samsara
It’s more than just a word, Nirvana
I am supposed to stop loving you
Just because you’re bound to someone else
I’ve never understood relationships
Just eternal love
Not the give and take of bargaining
Where everything must be repaid
And you must stand inside the rules
Because I have always had a wild heart
That loved with no remorse
Everything and everyone in its sight
Sought to befriend the world
And understand, where understanding could be
But I don’t understand this at all
The black wall of a blank ending
Like nothing ever was
And I’m left to re-evaluate
What was there all along
And my whole conception of the world
Cause you are where my stars revolve
And now the lines of something else dictate
Where I should place my feet
And if I should be near you at all
Even my proximity makes strangers unsure
And friends concerned for my safety
But I have never cared for safety
Only dangerous freedom that pulled me deep down into its depths
Like the look in your eyes when we first met
Silence hangs in the air like a stifling curse
As I pray to the gods that it not get any worse
Cause this world it is full of chancers and cheats
But you are the reason that my heart beats
And all of the machinations of a powerful system
Convinces us we’re just the world in which we’re existing
And people will pay to have you give up on them
And then say that you’ve counselled them to live again
All the while they balance on a precipice spire
And beg that it not extend any higher
While their shadows they fall like feet on the earth
And know if they go down then it’s sure gonna hurt
So you make do with the concoctions
You use as insurance in the allotments
That you have obtained to grow your own farm
You forget about freedom, it’ll just do you harm
And I watch as they all spin round like clockwork
To the beat of a rhythms that is stop jerk
And automatic pilot their whole lives
With a few intercepts from one who survives
Or the beauty of love as it strikes them home
And just for a minute their minds are blown
And stutter and stop for infinitesimal seconds
Before they’re again drawn back into a world that reckons
That what can’t be controlled is a danger to life
It’s no wonder they take time to look at me twice
As the spellbound is broken beneath my gaze
And I’m not like a mouse who is stuck in a maze
And the mystery pulls me back into the unknown
I wonder when they will see that the match was thrown
Not lost by degrees but by design
By the shape of a hand much higher than mine
So you look at me and find a label to use
But all definition just means that you lose
Your natural discernment to right the wrong
To have nothing at all is where I belong
Water flows freely out under the arches
And the sounds in the steps of the army that marches
And puts a poison in the tips of their pens
To liven up what they say in each other’s dens
And there has always been a cove to shield me from the shore
But somehow, in defiance, I wanted something more
And put myself in the path of wilful destruction
But you stood in the way of my persistent destruction
And confounded me whole with your beautiful soul
As I searched the earth so I could play the role
That would be most fitting to your eminent position
But all I found out was there was something missing
That I never could obtain in all of my years
And the harder I tried the more plentiful tears
And the winter it came to wither the tide
And all things went to sleep so they could survive
But I stayed on like a bitter tree
With its branches all cleared of the markers of me
So who am I now as my roots crave the water
Am I just skin and bones and somebody’s daughter
And what do I have to pay to be finally free
Of the persistent but irresistible hold you have over me
Run like the river to get away from me
I’m not trying to brag but we made history
And in a sundown moment we shone like a star
But now you have a hold of someone else’s heart
So don’t try to say sorry like it is okay
It wasn’t my choice that you should go away
And I mourn for your loss nay on everyday
All I can do is contemplate, sit at home and pray
But I wish you all the blessings that come freely with true love
And it’s unconditionally if its sent from above
And in all your storming might, in all your new found glory
Don’t forget to remember that we too had our story
And it reigned supreme down on all the lands
I never knew what it meant to have someone who understands
And you are effortlessly kind and endlessly pure
You gave me forever and that will endure
It’s water under the bridge and I forgive you dear
If I didn’t say it right or make it crystal clear
There were lines we used to walk on and I see you made a slip
But I caught your arm so that you didn’t trip
But I see right now that you want to be elsewhere
So go live your life, I hope you know I care
And find some tolerance among some new found folk
You weren’t made to be weighed down, so let go of that yoke
And when you’ve found the truth would you please come back to me
And tell me how to find it cause I want to be free
But right now I’m caught up and attached to being here
I lost my heart to you in case you didn’t hear
Do you expect me to thank you for my golden cage
It’s like a book asking a pencil if it could turn the page
And all of these bars make the heart inside me rage
Don’t think that I am playing or that this is just a stage
Cause I was born to be free and to speak the truth
To hold the burning of a fire that was born in my youth
And every day’s an episode of how to handle myself
But you could not give me money to compare to this wealth
Cause I am unbound and hurricane through all their just ideals
There is no limit to my madness or to the heart that feels
And however you may try there is no way to contain
The depth of this emotion or the searing of the pain
Cause it is meant to be lived through and to be understood
Not hidden in the darkness or swept under the rug
In the fountain of denial or the rivers of the mist
I will not be quiet or give in to just subsist
The Poetry Book 