There was a horror blog That descended on me and it was a slog To get through all the peat and turf And everything just getting worse Why did I not just let it be Let the dragon get to me As I ran and ran But I know I can Only go so far as my legs can carry And that the man I want to marry Will find me eventually Will cut the chain and set me free But is that just a myth, a tide Someone who just does not abide In the deeper dimension And no extension Of time and space or relativity Seems to bring him closer to me And it was like all the windows punched out And everything was in doubt And I thought the devil had control And wanted me to play a certain role As I paced around my room on the first floor Have I lost everything I adore And they tell me, tell me, take these pills Don’t let it be a display of a clash of wills Between you and Power And you’re not in a tower Princess Pink Waiting for the kitchen sink To be hurled out the window You didn’t sin though You just lost the war Now we can tell you what it’s all for But I turn my face away Because I just cannot stay In this realm of thieves And everyone believes In everything they say Meanwhile I just walk my way And I stare into the press Before I undress For bed And Marina said “What are you looking for?” If only I could answer, the one I adore But it would be trite and superficial So I say I don’t know, it’s just edifical And anyway I find the pair of socks And the cófra doesn’t have any locks So I just close the door Lie into the bed like a minx, mo stór Until it’s lights out And Emmett is about To gaze behind the curtain I know he thinks that I’m hurting But I’m really not It’s just that I perceive a lot Beyond the realm of what’s considered to be true And it’s beautiful when I look at you Coz you’ve got a purity and a belief That what you’re doing brings relief To tortured souls But I’m here for when the bell tolls For all and the many I don’t want there to be any Soul left behind Trapped inside their own mind So I take the lower position Though it is not my predisposition To be on the ground Listening for any sound That might come through But there’s angels singing when I look at you And I hear them call Out to us behind the wall That separates And nothing equates Like with like I wait for the day I drop the mic But it’ll never happen Because only people who are napping Think they are the doers of This holy kind of love We are recipients and vessels of the pure It’s something I know for sure In the midnight owl Something somewhere is on the prowl For what it can eat I hear it snap at my feet And Gandalf the Grey Simply had to go away To be replaced By a sunshine that takes the place Of the light You don’t see it shine til you let the white Absorb you whole And take your soul Into its own creation And education Only goes so far Like science and the bar Then comes God Or consciousness or the ‘aul sod Speaking to your heart It has to end before Love can start
There’s a dead in her eyes That nothing can disguise But it always lit up when she looked at me Didn’t think that I would ever be The reason why the curtains close As she follows me down the road To nowhereland And it’s all sand That just gathers at my feet An hourglass when we meet Somewhere in between And if it’s all a dream Then why are we crying Over the people that are dying Left right and centre And so I enter The hallowed halls Of the people who can walk through walls And the longing calls Me to let go of the line That had me doing hard time In a crater not of my making And all the people that I’m forsaking When I take that pill And it will kill If I keep on keeping on So I have to get gone And on the road Her carriage slowed Just to take a look at me And she never sees the free I’ve come to be Only ever the apparent chains The sunlight reflects upon when it rains And who gains When everything is lost Don’t we all just pay the cost For the brutal tide That means we are alive Because we can feel Everything that’s real And vital and true And just because the colour blue Is sad and lonely Doesn’t mean you can’t phone me Anytime you want I change the font To match my mood Meanwhile you just sit and brood Over a perceived slight But you are alright Aren’t you, aren’t you I daren’t ask lest it be true That the fields are green far past the slide Of what it means to be alive And they click go on the PowerPoint And I never want to leave the oint- Ment powder red What goes on inside a person’s head Is the least of what they are I look up and see that star Shining over my crucifixion My errant ways and my eviction From the stable then I just don’t want to go through that again Not for even the best of men So I take what they offer And the coffer Is full But my skin’s as thin as cotton wool They use to mask Everything they cannot ask Me now the ship has sailed The chain linked fence and I impaled Over the least of crimes My only solace in these rhymes That never lead to the sea What is it that you are asking of me Once more, arís Some Celtic chieftain once had a feast But she wasn’t invited And so the war ignited The gunpowder flame That only ever lands upon a name
The problem with life is that it’s just too truthful One minute you’re old and the next thing you’re youthful Fresh again in your summer skin Then one day you run into him Looking haggard as the day he was born With no one there to keep him warm And it breaks your heart to say I don’t want to love that way With two strings tied to each other’s finger Where someone nearby could be a dead ringer For your starshot soul But somehow I found something that made me whole And I got lost in St. Pat’s Between avenues and their baseball bats It was a kind of a refuge from their stares And the way they said you can’t go there Not even if it’s your spirit’s longing You don’t know who you might be wronging By telling the secret It’s better you keep it Even if that means going through hell At the hands of those who wish you well And you can always tell When something’s not right Coz they cover up the silence with a fight And try to “settle you down” No silver lining in this town But only a bridge to burn And I had to learn I can’t rely on suspense To get me back into the present tense And her eyes were dead and flat and grey And there was nothing I could say To bring them back to life If I ever become somebody’s wife I’d like to save the pause So they would have a get out clause And not feel shackled to A dream that is just not made for you And I claw and I scream But it just doesn’t seem That the rocks will fall back up the mountain And the fountain Won’t play in reverse There’s no way to rehearse The subtle sound When everyone, everywhere around Abandons you I didn’t think I would do Anything bad enough to be worthy of The desertion and a lack of love As I look into his polar eyes and they do not meet mine They have a sort of deadly shine In the glow of the fire The bell rings a bit higher Than the frequency That ordinarily would call to me And so I leave the glen And I don’t know when I will be back I just know I can’t stand the lack I see in her face As if she was an island to trace In a green copy book It was awful, man, and I was shook To my core But I don’t go there anymore Not in the trees I couldn’t paint Not in the moment that I faint Out of the movie And I cannot prove “me” To somebody’s din I blame myself and I blame him Until I can recognise That no one told any lies It was just miscommunication Like missing the train at the station And never seeing your foe As he let the trauma go On the last ride home I guess I had to learn that I stand alone When I stand for this And no kiss Can recompense What it all meant In the eve of dawn I looked at my palms and the lines were gone No route to track, no road to follow Only the deathly hollow In the room as I scrunched myself into a ball Wishing I could just disappear into the wall But I made it out And their doubt Is a reminder that Everything is just a stat Until it happens to you And you cannot do Anything but ride the wave I was waiting for someone to save Me when I became The sky beyond the rain
I can feel the slang hanging in the air All the words that just aren’t there But were said somewhere Like Rob whispers secrets And I know that they’ll all keep it In the silent bond And I abscond But I know in truth Prisms refracting light of my youth Will always hold their colour As life around me gets duller With the encroach My grandmother used to wear a broach To special occasions and sometimes Mass I wondered when I’d get to pass That hallowed hall And I walk with my hand on the wall The paper would scratch my fingers And we are family of singers In the booth And the proof Of our love is long lasting heart Even when life tears us apart Like little fibres And the tigers That roam the forest purr I always wanted to be her But somewhere, somehow something has changed All the stars have rearranged And I sit in my own boots You know the one with the roots That anchor me deep Into an earth that does not sleep But watches with one eye open All your errant, fervent coping That the seasons do I don’t want to lose any of you But I feel the pull Drag me somewhere and the wool That was once draped over the back of the chair Is now threadbare And I must make my place somewhere That echoes true I hope to make you proud with what I do
Dead bodies and machine gun eyes I think they believe the lies That they are fed And when they lie in bed They must stop the truth from reaching them And life must be teaching them How to bear the weight they’ve been gifted I sweat in my jumper that’s been thrifted From some nearby store And I just wanted to change it more But how do you compete with belief And you just feel relief When it falls away from you It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to do What matters is that you’re wiling to be led Not blind opposition to what’s being said And I watch Ben Gvir shout his refrain Does he even know the pain He’s in and so inflicts They say that some day wars will be fought with sticks After we’ve destroyed ourselves Why do you put them in cells If they are brother and sister tide Please leave the Palestinians alive You’ve done enough And, God knows, it wasn’t out of love It was to feed that old demon That’s always dreaming He will rule the world And what does it matter what says this girl Who is just a child of Irish rain And our own kind of particular pain As we live on the land Our ancestors once couldn’t understand As it was stolen from beneath them Until someone bequeath them Their own patch of ground And do you hear the sound Of the child cry Why must I be the one to let her die?
She leads with the controlling rod And do I blame her, because she believes in God And it always must come with some martyrdom Will I succumb To the same old disease Always praying on my knees Instead of with my eyes locked On that holy box That houses the crystalline And Jesus reminded me of the peace that’s mine When he burst open my heart chakra And you could set my love by the clock, ya Don’t worry that it’s gonna fade As the years jade The ocean that once was incandescent blue And it all matters coz its something to you Someday in the scene Do you know that the dream Can wake up to Itself in you And realise that beyond form Beyond the place where the body’s warm There is a lessening of the storm That pelts the windowpane And is it all in vain If I just let it pass me by Because the rules made me cry When you pushed me to the plate And told me I had to wait To be fulfilled And some people are skilled In betraying themselves But it’s never been one of my strengths
There’s a man that sings about a drugs binge he’s been on Like how he’s been helluva gone And I can’t help but empathise Because there’s a kind of high that never dies Even when you kill it with starvation Or waiting for a boy at a train station That only comes once in a blue moon He rocks the atmosphere when he’s in the room And I just let it be Because I am free Of all he tries to contain If he was a cloud he would rain All over my parade If I am the sun then he is the shade Of the tree my grandfather made for me He placed a swing on a branch and us three Share something that will never pass I don’t care if you think it won’t last My heart is as solid as serene As anything is beyond the dream And everyone is someone’s child And every woman somewhere is wild In her heart and soul Even if she pays the toll As she passes through the joint As if she’ll gain an extra point For due diligence and deference I gave Deirdre a second chance But I may as well have talked to the wind Coz she is fixated on how she has sinned And aims to take me with her And I get a little bitter In the years that pass Under the realm of the crass And the key to my soul won’t speak to me I wonder if I’m just letting her be free Or if I’m resigned to the fate Of looking for some guy to date So that I might be whole Coz I left her with my soul And she is the keeper of that part In the greater region of my heart As it beats red and true Pumping oxygen for all of you
People I’m not safe with So I play the bitch To keep the simper out of my zone I prefer being alone But he forces his way in With his nations of appropriate sin And his deference to a sky That only leads a person to die And he sold me out to the weather Just so he could feel the heather Beneath his feet Is this the love that he bequeath As I confess my subtle heart To someone that made it start And let me believe That a heart could be worn on a sleeve But the aching thunder rolls Between us two souls As they try to cover up The way I uttered my love Coz it would look bad for family For me to be professing eternity To a stranger on the grass But the damn thing last All throughout St. Pat’s And all of their baseball bats As they hit me hard and true As though they want to kill the memory of you On my skin And every time I look at him I see you Bursting through Do I go back on the book Just so I can look At you marry some other female All rocks are sand in the vale Of death as the hourglass pours Do you love all of your whores?
Do I hold onto that grudge That had me trudge Through the snow For an eon you know But it was also the birth of the sun Stellar as no one Was in my corner And no one thought to warn her Of the advance of time That would steal everything that’s mine But this time the brunt of the bitch Didn’t burst every single stitch Yes, it hurt and I cried Like I always do after the silence has died In the aftermath of the quiet There is an unholy riot That burns my city down But this town Just seems to go round and round And the land absorbs the sound I never wanted to leave But something in me believe That I never would have found you If I had not chanced the blue Of Dublin via Dun Laoghaire And some part of me thought you feared me When I would stop and stare into your soul And I know we’re not growing old Though I don’t know if we’ll speak again It’s complicated when it comes to men Coz I don’t want to give the wrong impression But my confession Is that I love deep and true At the drop of a hat when I met you And you are not in my past You are in the heart that will everlast And somewhere in the ocean This emotion Will reveal To you how I feel For you now and forever And I will never Shut you out You don’t have to doubt In that fact I just turned back The way I came And I will never be the same As I was before But you gave me someone to adore And do I talk about death And the pain I cannot forget The crucify Hearing the phone ring and I Just know it’s gonna be bad news Because swans always swim in two’s And when you lose your other half You also lose the ability to laugh And somewhere in the scene Something kind woke the dream So I don’t have to go down that path But I keep going back To fourteen And the queen Of all hell Rained on me and I never tell Of her secret heart Coz she swore me to a silence I can’t rip apart And she wrote me a letter To apologise, it didn’t make it any better Coz the damage had already been done So I let her go and no one Could ever replace The beauty of her face But it’s not a human race So I slow down and let her pass by Because some day I will die And I can’t live like this Til suddenly I am His And I can do is say thanks For the way she made me walk the plank
Is moving on what you call it these days When you untangle yourself from your codependent ways And I loved your stubble and brash But you were always asking me for cash That I never had And I know you feel really bad In the places that hurt And I don’t want to make anything worse As I cry down the line It’s you and I for all of time In the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego But my whole heart is el fuego In the burn of a fuse Because I have it all to lose When you get that look in your eyes Not everybody lives but everybody dies
There is a power in witnessing the pain Like there’s a strength that stands out in rain And getting soaked through the skin I was saturated by him And I was fliuch báite go craiceann And if you have any doubts it was you, young Ken Would I do it again If that was the price to pay But I’m not sure it was that way I could feel the pulverise When you looked me in the eyes And if only one of us cries I want to make sure it’s me So that you are free of history And, I, of the loss that comes with renegadery Do you believe in infinity And if you do then what are we Burning and turning eternally On the one axis we spin Then I see her with him And everything collapses into my hands Like grains of sand that never land On the beach I picked them from Are you really gone If you have someone to hold Does it negate our fields of gold You know the ones we ran through When I was young and twenty one with you On a Facebook screen Like I’m dancing with a dream I made all by myself Is my wealth Imaginary And do you dare me To live without it I doubt it Could ever be I won’t trade it in so I let you go free And feel the reverberate But something about that soul wait For me to come back to base It’s not in the stars I chase But the ground I stand upon Would you maybe write me a song?
She said there’s nothing worse than bearing an untold story inside of you So I finally open up To you to say they broke my cup When I offered them a glass And I never thought to ask The saints if it was safe Now all I want is to escape And death may be appealing But I amn’t dealing And don’t want a finite end I would rather have a friend And I found one in you I think you may have found it in me too As you look at me with those desperate eyes And I let you catch my sighs As they fall from my lips In the middle of an eclipse And there is nothing wrong with me Except for the fact I’ve been set free Of the chains no one can escape Until they fall victim to the shape Of water in the mirror And I cannot hear her Anymore Because her closed door Will never open to my pounds And the sounds She makes when she’s mad Would make anyone feel bad But I forgive her errant storm For never being able to keep me warm For it raged in her And destroyed everything we ever were Like shattered glass on the floor But I took the pieces and made a mosaic to adore Like a stained glass window in a chapel Like a wild woman riding a capall Through the woods or forest Lord above, please keep me honest In a world of lies Where all the futile tries Are brutalised And the disguise Is only just to say That I chose to have it this way
You keep your dreams in a locked box And you keep telling me what I’m not Just so I can be what you are But I keep wishing upon a star To take me far, far Far away from here And though I love you, dear I can’t crumble to the ash you crave Always looking to be saved By an incandescent night I’ve waited long enough to be the light That I will always remain I will turn to love from the pain That’s been given me I’m not the dragon you slay, you see
She comes in with her sneaking suspense An innocent question, it’s all the past tense Yet her aim is to guide, her aim is to rule And it’s like I am still in school When her might comes to pass And there are secrets at Mass I feel them in the riverbeds of society Questioning the worth of me As I stand as I am Outside her plan Of the perfect role I questioned her about soul And her reply Made some part of me want to die Like a hidden gem I hold the heart of a hundred men Close to my chest And they all swear they love me best But the truth is I Am made for the sky And whenever the cloud dissipates It’s then the ocean appreciates All it has come to know of blue Because it is reflecting something of you And every rainy day Is just another way The earth kisses the air I know it’s true because I was there
If she don’t get by on truth She’ll be the pulverise of my youth And she has her reason and her source But she rarely shows remorse For what she has done She says she follows the Son But how can she look back And not see the attack She launched with her steady rock As she assumes what I’m not And seeks to bring back to life That old dead wife That I used to be Now I’m young and set free In the age of the old and weary You don’t need to fear me Just stay clear When you want to lie to me, dear I’m not down for the ride As I leave your side For the green pasture And the Rastafari Have a clue about light And Sam may be alright But I can’t follow that path Nor the one of the god of wrath That we sat through in fifth class I know you believe but I’ll pass On that particular lesson And his absence is a blessing I didn’t know how to count at eleven But now I don’t need to believe in heaven To be complete I don’t need to wash anybody’s feet Just to tick the box The saviour came and undid the locks And now I smile Though no one’s seen it for a while
I let them take me to hell All the time they wished me well And put me through the crucify And if I didn’t want to die In the beginning, I did by the end The kind of torture when you don’t have a friend Who will save you from the wolves So I let it go as the pain pulls Me into it’s own frame of mind It was easier than being left behind By the man I love They say his glove Don’t fit my hand But it’s just that they don’t understand The mechanics of the thing And an angel with a broken wing Will always look to sky To find a reason why The emotion is not to be found In any degree of sight or sound And she pushes the door back open When I was just hoping To be on my own Now the birds have flown On that particular piece of ground And all the injustices abound In the leaves that fall I look at her as I walk down the hall To the death squadron firing guns They say Mother Earth loves all her sons But some wield a battle axe Some take it to the max And some just fall short of that I’d say it’s okay but it’d be old hat
Infringing on my liability You are walking on thin ice with me Coz though I look like I go with the flow I’m as independent as much as it doesn’t show And I follow the beat of my own drum And I do not succumb To the oncoming wave And I don’t need anybody to save Me from myself And she’s only after the wealth I can see it in her eyes When she drops the disguise And I wonder would she turf me out If it meant that she could shout From the highest rooftop I play the bad cop And lock it away There are things I shouldn’t say Coz they are too true And when it comes down to it I see through you As flippant as the air So nonchalant and barely there And though I love you to your bones I know that you would leave me alone If it meant you could be free I left with a degree In what could never be said Do you sleep well when you lie in bed?
Meeting Joe Black was the end of my life The birth of the Son and the last of the wife That had ever been in my veins I dried my eyes on sleeves that are tear stained And he looked so soft and serene Til he tore through my dream With a knife and an attitude Coz he was a really cool dude And he had a point to prove He could never lose To a girl Coz the world Only ever appreciates A woman for who she dates And she’s chosen you And now you don’t know what to do So you just set a fire And I tire Of this leadránach So I leave you for the shock Of your life I won’t say it twice As I give you every chance To ask me to the dance And when you don’t Well I won’t Stick around To be the sound You love to hear But only when no one else is near And you can hide Behind the facade you hate inside Because all you ever do Is hop scotch between the lines that you want to Really cross But all is not lost Maybe someday your light Will meet it’s own Jean White
I want him so bad that it literally hurts And as time’s going on it’s only getting worse As he comes and goes, close then far Says he’s born from the farthest star And I hold out Coz I’ve got that doubt Is he the man I want to marry Does he see me as an equal or just someone to carry His child somewhere in the future And I had a wound but he was the suture That tied it up and kept it in Healed my soul with that irreverent grin And his eyes dart to and fro I wonder where his mind would go If he could read mine I know I shine And I’m a gem in the dark It’s just you sorta hit the mark Right on the head And I know you want me in your bed As you tell me lies Think I buy the disguise You’re selling with the full of your heart Is it just because you want a part Of me for your own To impress upon me what could be known With your help And is there anyone else In this whole scene That could wake me, then take me from the dream And you’re shy in a certain way Not in the usual bashful sway But in a kind of sensitivity When you tell the truth and then look at me As though I would judge and turn you out But instead I want to kiss your mouth Coz this is more than intimacy When I trust in what you’re saying to me And it didn’t break It’s just I wake From a slumber that was self induced Startled by what you produced In your ardent soul Do you think we could make our parts whole If we just dropped the pretence I think that my defence Is the thing that separates Me from men I’d love to date And that barrier Between what we were Fell right on through And even though I seem distant from you Nothing’s changed I love guys that are sort of strange
We watch it unfold before our eyes Another day, another Palestinian dies And their culture is erased like it has no meaning And the people are not dreaming Because it’s no nightmare But a reality that would scare The most stoic into submission I don’t need anyone’s permission To say what I feel to be true The end of the genocide starts with you And I, as we raise a voice to lift the blockade So that the only shade The children know is that of a tree Palestine is forever free No matter the walls and doors Checkpoints and bombed out floors But a spirit nothing can kill If I know anything it’s that Love never will Ever be defeated And my courage has not retreated Far enough that I will not say I can see another way For the tide to beat the shore You are not alone, mo stór
Against my better judgement I take these pills I’m losing my mind like I’m losing skills And I’m scared that they will wear my brain away Like I am a knot and it’s started to fray But it’s gotta be better than wandering the night They say that I’m insane and I give up, alright Allow them to ring in a decree And proclaim what they think they know of me And everyone agrees, they’ve got it all on check And what I was seeing was strange and I wreck The picture every time I seem to see People trying to frame you and me And Alan was cool like they had on the system I walked away, you could say that I missed him And everyone in their cracked portrait there We’re just examples of how people care And they say that if you go and show You’re enlightened well then you know You’ll be locked up by the brigade at sea And I think that may have been what happened to me And I fight and war with what they pronounce Only another one to denounce Like sleeves of silk and cotton up your arm The meditation room the only charm As there was music and CD’s To ameliorate my supposed disease And I made friends and I struck a light In the room for squares I was held that night And the awning gap just spells the chasm What more can I say but that she has him For now, for forever, but not with me I gulp another one down with dignity
One avenue I remember you had a sly eye And I toyed with the idea Of you being my guy And you were sweet And gave me strength I don’t remember Where the self consciousness went As you look at me I can see the stars Cave Like all my prison bars And I wonder where you be And how you are Remember the night I picked you up in my car And you looked so jazzed And I felt so fly I’m in love And I don’t know why And you stared in my eyes When I dropped you off I hope we’re still friends And all is not lost And I wonder if I could Kick back with you I dunno if you Still want me to That I could be your Jess Is this too cringey You bought me a drink Was I too stingy With my affection As we open our hearts There was no ending So the magic starts And the years roll by Like a filofax And you told me To relax As I worried A frayed line of thread Leave me thinking Of you instead And I wonder what You would say if you Knew all That I’ve been through Would it mar the image You seem to have of me You always seem to Just give it to me free As we laugh The bursting joy Saw you turn Man from a boy And I always clicked So you would know that I Hold you close Somewhere that can never die And I wonder if you Have a woman now And if there’s still Space for me somehow Coz I want you to know It’s more than a crush And I know it’s been a decade But we don’t have to rush Just find our way What do you say Could we vibe Like back in the day And if I look to you Would you look away Coz I really Want you to stay And make a fortress That can’t be stormed Keep a place So the bed is warmed As I hold your arm And we kiss I should be glad You gave me something to miss In your forest pure And your deep brown eyes You kind of know my heart And it’s no surprise That you had it all Planned out in your mind And I didn’t mean To leave you behind It’s just days were dark And I scared myself With the storms in A teacup I spilt as I knelt And you were so casual And so on fire You took my hand And lifted me higher And I haven’t forgotten The good you do I just don’t know What to say to you Coz I love you with The full of my heart And I want to close The gap that keeps us apart And I’d call your name Across the expanse If I thought that you Would be down to dance And kiss like you Are still in the club You have all I am In your arms, love And I’d love To be your equal If I’ve written a history Would you be the sequel To a place Where all is calm Is our distance Just a false alarm That can be quieted By your soothing breath You’ve gotta know It’s not over yet And I hold you In a place so dear No matter the clouds The sky is clear
They still end up married No matter what I do Coz I couldn’t stop What he wanted to Do in the dead of the night But not with me, I hope that’s alright And he may have lost me forever But he’s not sad enough to not wed her And she’s another girl With big hair and a curl To frame a face that stares at you In happiness and something true And I look at her and wish it was me But my gift was to set you free So you could run a length of rope And begin to hope In a new sky But I just dropped in to say hi In case you forget that I exist Even if I’m not something that you missed In the years that built The house you may have willed Into form Six months before you were born
Why she play the bitch The one who’s running veins with the witch And I know it’s not all of who she is But she still takes the side that’s his So I peace out Put it beyond all doubt Coz she is a forest I would not walk Not for any share of her talk As she finds new ways to take me apart All because I have heart And soul and fire and truth and beauty And she is tethered to her duty In the realm of the left behind And the somewhere somehow out of her mind She knows she did wrong And she stifles her song As I sing mine She would have the silence for all of time Am I just being bitter, petty Worried that he might forget me If I leave it too long Because he was the only place my light belong As he took it into his arms And he kept me safe from harm And the sun reflected in his eyes So he could see he never dies Only ever in a dream To wake up to the unseen With a shock, rock, rattle and roll And we are connected by the soul To never, ever really part He may have left but he took my heart With him as he goes And his breathing slows As he drags me into his lungs And my soul succumbs To being absorbed into another sky If only I knew how to fly
The awfulness of the white man He gets everything any way that he can And you can say it’s ego But is he free though When he stakes his flag On virgin territory he can brag With a map and a pen Then he tries to conquer me again That open land that spans the grass And you can say that your reign will last For millennia but I watch it fall And then it was like it was never there at all And they all say they’re good and they’re great And they are definitely beyond the hate Then they bury the light within And take issue with a fellow and blame him For the monuments he makes And the dragon wakes And breathes fire on him So he says the enemy wins But it’s not really out there It’s in a heart that cannot care For what it breaks When he says he does it for your sake
I can’t make you here now I can only allow Life to make its way to me And set you free From the shackles you chain Around yourself like acid rain That just burns its way through And if there’s anything we can do It’s to hold the might Of the fuel for our fancy in the candlelight As everyone tries to blow it out And my mouth Reaches to you So I could breathe my love into The lungs that you use To abuse The air that turns into words Because they all go unheard By the great weight of swim I don’t know why I liked him I just did and it gripped hold of my soul My sister says I should just roll In the sea for a century And turn into what she’s made of me All sticks and stones And brittle bones She loves to break And I should forsake My soul for proprietary But my heart just won’t let me It bashes me up against the wall Then throws me over a waterfall Til I’m all worn out and in confusion My brain is heavy with all the bruising It has taken And then I waken And look up into his eyes And know a love that never dies Again I thought I had given up on men
I’ve somehow always known this feeling And it left me reeling When you told me that I was crazy And it didn’t faze me But I decided to get a second opinion So I fled to the city Let them assess every little bit of me And admit me to Stella Ward It was as though someone crucified the bird That had been singing within me And they try to begin me With a meal of chicken and gruel And I walked into a room, the floor smelt like school I dunno if it was the plastic floor Or the way they paint the exit door But it just reminded me of being three And terrified of what they had in store for me And as the years advanced I learned that I don’t have to dance If I don’t want to But I was always compelled by you To act as the role provides It’s as though I’m not even alive But just a cartoon cutout or a silhouette And somehow I have managed not to forget Just who I am All these years under the plan That aims to rob us of humanity And it did its best to take it from me With pills and booze With the winning and the knowing how to lose Somehow in the middle of the sea I realised it wasn’t for me And that there is another way to live That I could forgive All that had been done In my name by everyone And I just watch on a screen How the children scream And cry over a parent murdered from the sky Unprepared and forced to die To depart the form Now babies clutch bodies no longer warm And the saltwater flows from their eyes While we just say, my, how time flies As we get old and grey And pray That we’ll have a safe departure In Gaza they mourn the martyr Under a mountain of rubble We have known the same trouble On our island It’s on file and Making someone rich somewhere As they wonder do we care About the force of might And like every candlelight The dark departs When it sees what is burning in your heart I see a kind of constant flame Just whisper it when they call your name And as you step to the stage Let love be your kind of rage
I try not to feel it Will time heal it If I just let it burn But the world just turn And they grasp my arms Tell me they’re keeping me safe from harm And I feel the burning within It all came from him As I can barely hold on To what is long gone And who I am craves for his flesh The terror to think he might regret Ever knowing me I cry on the phone, the tears are flowing from me As he grits his teeth and his tongue clicks And one of his best friends says he can be a dick And I just think of that Taylor Swift song What if I was wrong And you never loved anything And the ring I thought I would wear Is just part of the dress that would tear As she wears it down the aisle And I watch you smile Right into the face of your demise But there’s death in your eyes And it’s something I cannot avoid It’s not like just loving one of the boys It brings me to the brink of surrender And a day that you “barely remember” And I wonder if the gaslit anthem plays Or if there’s any truth in what he says When he says that I am beyond the pale Is it just that I am not up for sale That gets under his skin And he was flush with the cash but I wanted him Not the dollars he owes To the person whose garden he sows With seeds aplenty But I look at him and his face is empty Devoid of all emotion And the commotion Gets too loud So I let the borrowed fools crowd Around me and operate On the person who just wants a date Sometime in April, coz it’s just the right air It would be great if you could meet me there If she lets you slip away Out of her grasp and the break of day Sounds a new dawn If you look to me you will see what was never gone Only unobserved I gave you my word
Manifesting Andy, I try to look the other way And pretend I cannot say What is the fire inside of me Is there another way for me to be And it caused me physical pain When I first heard your name It was when I was carted off to the mental So much more than words in central Dublin and they said I needed to be there As ambivalent as a girl without a care When she was interrupted And have we fucked it Up In the name of love And it all comes around to the scene The way that it could wake my dreams The loins that long The moment you belong When you’re with someone And you can see your son And daughter running around And they’re not even born and you hear the sound Of their peeling bells of laughter Just like their father As you sit by his side How do I hide I have the whole future planned out And I’m afraid my doubt Will kill what we are We may have all been forged within a star But we are black hole bound I know oblivion when I hear the sound Of your mystery ring Would you give me one if I gave you everything And you just sigh and look away So I leave it for another day
Why am I not pretty And it’s a chorus, are you singing it with me As they make up the foundation To sell us one side of an equation Seventeen to twenty four Til they don’t want you anymore And I fell into the sway But it’s not what I thought, okay As I was labelled beautiful and sexy Til I gained weight and then it’s like, next, we Don’t have time To be the victims of your favourite crime And you’re just jealous coz they don’t see The same thing when they’re looking at me And is it some kind of superficial To be so contrived in the official Way they tow the line Because I feel fine The way I am Have no ambition to Uncle Sam My way into the American dream And be a supernova queen On the cover of a magazine I just want to scream That everything just fades and falls And all the walls I thought I had up Just drop away in this love As someone somewhere says I look like the sky And the days I wanted to die Are long gone But that song Still sings on repeat Don’t judge someone Til you’ve felt their heartbeat
Have you ever been afraid of deserted roads Like you can’t walk them alone Have you ever been afraid to even leave your home For fear of what might come to pass When a guy says; check out her ass And so the feeling goes The shame, the blame, the game, God knows
Have you ever been afraid of having one too many Not because there are guards but coz there isn’t any To protect what you might call your virtue The catcalls that just hurt you As you walk down the street The uncomfortable feeling when your eyes meet
Have you ever been afraid to say me too, too For fear of what that punk might do As he braces against the wall Ready to hit you with it all
And I’m tired, I’m just weary And I want you to hear me When I say I know it’s not all guys But could you be the one who tries To make a change Coz isn’t it strange What silence will do When there’s walls between us two
Is it wrong I don’t want to “have kids” And I reject the idea of being his Because I don’t want to be owned Always revelling in the unknown And my sister thinks it’s the only way But I have learned that what she say Is only an expression of how she sees And it’s not up to me to believe In something I don’t want Forty two and the haunt Eating up my heart and soul And is it Jackie and Wilson to be whole Because when you hit thirty everyone expects You to just have sex And make three out of two Or more if possible to issue from you And when you’re a teen they warn you that Your life will be ruined if you create something you can’t take back And I watch all these children dying In foreign countries and they’re crying And I just want to reach out and touch And tell them I love them so much And I am doing everything I can To resist the man Who says that war is the way to peace And all these people that decease Are just casualties and collateral damage How can he stand the carnage And I know it’s not up to me to blame And no one really is their name They are the depths and so much more But I must tell you, mo stór That you are paving the path to hell And I can’t just stay out of it and wish you well Or be obstinate refuse Boycott the brands I will not use I must let a new dream birth And create a new dawn all over the earth What is the feminine reveal Is that she can only ever steal That which is not real
Getting old, I’m thirty three And people no longer say my whole life’s in front of me And my friend died when I was seventeen And since then the dream Has had no appeal Because it simply is not real As the canvas just gets torn Bodies fail and they get worn And I have to say goodbye To everyone when they die But somehow the veil fell And all the people who called me unwell Are tracking my shoes Wondering why singing the blues Sounds so damn good to the sea As if it’s pulsing to the beat of me In the winter of my life And I should be a wife To that man But I don’t think I can Because I don’t want to bear child One reason is I want to stay wild The other is that I can’t leave Them to the world that I believe Is only born to be taken away And even if they’re a baby they cannot stay Here forever And I would never Want to do that to someone Pluck them from security to the drug of done Counting down the days til they lose The power of having someone to choose To be a lover And is it just another Way of avoiding what’s now I look at myself and I allow The crippled and broken To have the words that I’ve never spoken Into the air It all was lost til He was there
She left me high and dry And all I could do was cry On the floor of my room Preceded by the waves of doom And I fought so hard to say I love you, okay But she says those are just lines And forever comes round a million times And I write and I write and I write away All the things I cannot say Out loud Coz I’m too proud To admit defeat As I’m falling at your feet And begging you To come back to What we were And I don’t trust her Coz she never tells me anything true Only pulls layers across my vision of you And I know you’re taken and have kids It’s just I can’t argue with what is As a pulse beats in my lip A heart that love equip To sail across any storm The heat of this beat is warm As it gets closer to the sun Don’t you know you’re the only one Who ever knew me that way Except for her? Well, maybe, okay And I’ve drawn lines across the sea To see how you got to me Like diagrams on a map You just give my back a slap And tell me I will be just fine But did you know that you stop time?
She inflects a simple turn of head And I’m dreaming of him in my bed As we make mattresses make music It’s been years but I finally choose it Come undone in the spokes of you Threading the needle, you pull it through Whether in this season or ones yet to come He’s like a perpetual burning sun And I love him or I wouldn’t say I give it all up okay Dream of you just holding my hand Walking the streets or strolling the strand That we’ve come to know And it is the one place that will not let go But it’s been years since I found that shore When I had nothing to adore And that girl had torn me to pieces Shredded over a person that deceases Despite my best efforts to pray Them back into being okay And she took what was left of me And cracked the glass with indignity As she separated me from all my friends And told me that this has to end Now or never in some way I sat beside her in Irish and I couldn’t say The words I was longing to You are no friend, are you And the space was distance long But she did me wrong In my mind In her own she was left behind By some great power of weight So now she gets by on the hate She hurls at anyone close to her And I know now what we were That she was only ever on my side When she could beat me with her stride Being longer than mine But I don’t have the time To waste on you So I let you just do what you do And fuck everything up So you can realise it was never love On this side of the fence And they say that the first defence Is an act of war I just don’t want to be around you, mo stór
I have always felt absent belonging And there’s no telling who I’m wronging When I say I’m on my own Because they’re all on the other end of the phone But I can’t bring myself to call And listen to myself talk to a brick wall As it echoes back at me And I just want to let her go free But something pulls me back to meet The way that he feet Walk in the beat with mine And would it be a crime To let her know that I Once wanted to die When I had lost someone to the sky They say it’s heaven but that’s a lie Because I know they would never leave me here Not when I hold them dear To depart to some foreign shore That they are supposed to love more Than anything on earth And I savour the hurt Because it reminds me of my toes By the sea as the water goes In and out And my self doubt Fades away What is it that they say You have to stand on your own two feet But all I could ever meet Was this great void inside my soul That is not getting old As time passes And all the classes That I aced Never compared to his face When he looks at me with honest eyes And my spirit flies I wonder if he knows what he is to me I don’t think he does but my integrity Won’t let me spill the tea All over the table in front of me And Isabelle asked me who I liked And I swear I should have been miked Up because someone was listening And I can hear the future glistening Like a new pearl I was just a girl And couldn’t face the idea of A narrow kind of eighty year love With babies and cars Gardens that grow and weekend bars But I was born to roam the fields So I hold back and he yields To the idea that I don’t care But do I dare Tell him that I do So I run away and confess myself to you Coz you’re unattainable and far off And I loved you when you were lost But now you’re found You won’t hear a sound From me I choose presence over the indignity Of bearing child I once was wild And running through the trees And something in me believes That I’ll always be this way So I couldn’t agree with what you say
He makes me feel brand new And I’m not thinking of him when I’m talking to you And I don’t know who I wrote this about But no longer mired in self doubt I listen to the angels that speak their tome Into my brain when I’m all alone And I told the psychiatrist that I hear voices It’s not like he gave me many choices It’s psychosis or on the brink Of letting the whole thing sink And so I drink the potion he’s dying to sell And all the people they call unwell And I know it’s nicer than crazy And it doesn’t faze me It just feels clinical and watered down And when you want to drown Telling people that the sea Is rising up to meet me In the great valley I am And someone mentions a care plan That I refuse to read They take my blood and I bleed Out into several jars And I wonder if the stars Had this in mind When they told me I would not be left behind By the might of weighted thunder Some people say I’m just a number And don’t know what to do But do you want to rock it with us, do you And I lose the rag And the man tries to brag But it falls flat As I wonder what the hell is he at I realise only too late He was trying to impress me into a date Or a roll in the sheets Was it predestined that we meet Or was it organised And something within never dies No matter what they put you through Telling you it’s for the good too As they lie to your face But they lie to themselves too and it’s a waste As the Barbie dream house claims one more doll Was I wrong to answer the call?
I’m nostalgic for the bad old times For wicked games and nine crimes And Damien Rice plays while I sit in the car Wondering what exactly you are And I traversed the lonely forest And you could keep me lonely but never honest As I try to recapture UCD But it all just keeps escaping from me And it was the years of Marian and Dee Of Elaine, Darragh and things that helped me go free And when I rediscovered my dignity My ability to run after people disappeared And I could sense that the end neared In 2011 and I cried It was as though something had died In me, in us, in the world at large And my sister says I live in the past but that barge Never fails to take me home As I roam Empty streets and green triangles In the darkness and newfangled Angels on the brink Of watching us all go down the kitchen sink And he said something’s I don’t understand But he’s beautiful and oh, what a man So I cut the thread Coz I sense that he wants my bed More than he wants my heart And if it’s all about the art Then why does he cry I sense diamonds at the edge of my eye As I try To pierce through to his core But it just eludes me more Maybe everything is just as it seems And I’m just waking from the dream That I made up in my own head I forget everything you said But not what you stand for And I adore The mists of time What would life be like if you were mine?
I was the queen of blocking it out Back in 2020 And the streets were empty Are we all suffering from the trauma Of a year and a half of flora and fauna Growing up through the pavements that we don’t walk And it’s only electronically that we talk But somehow I found some kind of telepathy Some community That are united around the pain And it all falls as rain And I was terrified Of the people who have already died In case a list of names might be added To the families already saddened By the might of a hand that swipes across And we count the ones we’ve lost And I remember the first one that was fallen as I stood by her bed And she said That’s just the way it’s gonna be for a while And some people could find a way to smile But I was buried under the timber And now I’m listening to a singer Articulate it so much better than me The weather got wetter but now I see That I was tapped into the collective fear And I quenched it in a place that was not near To home Because I couldn’t be alone I could sense it coming Now everyone is running Away from something smaller than a cell Capable of unleashing hell Now I”m watching Israel bombing Gaza Like we haven’t been through it all together And they’re using Covid suits to protect them from the weather And make nappies for the babies While we’re told that the dragons have rabies And it’s catching kind Some humanity that’s left behind As what divides us conquers And it’s as if those who run the place want us To devour our tail And the part of me that is not up for sale Rails against the storm in the sea I thought I was alone but it was just me
Would it be okay to speak the truth I falter on the bridge between old age and youth And she says I don’t need to doubt Or I’m bound to do without So I let the words slip And pass my lips Do you know who I am The girl with a plan As I see you in a suit and tie Fifty years or so til we say goodbye What do you think I pour you another drink To help you steady your nerves I feel the flash of you as the car swerves And know that the words are done But you are the one Who silences noise You were never one of the boys But an ocean to span I’d do my best but I dunno if I can Ever be what I was before But shur isn’t that what lovin’s for And I break a smile across a desert scene You are the fuckin’ dream
He was dangerous but beautiful Like a shark in the water And I know he thinks he caught her Though he never did I just hid All I wanted to from him But I saw that grin When I bit my straw And let him see through to the Great Thaw I did not want to let him go So I let him see enough so That he would not believe He was nothing but a heart on a sleeve And he issued me a warning And I’m not forlorning But I must let you know That there’s something in what moves you slow Through the ice And you were not super nice But you were kind enough to say That you wouldn’t get in my way If I were to move my stance But you take my hand and our eyes dance Their own reel across the screen Of what was only ever a dream And your hair was super cool As your run your fingers through it and my drool Nearly runs from my mouth And in the years since I think of what I do without By ignoring what I am What did you mean by “the plan”?
I was faking the dumb ingenue But I was real when I let on that you Were someone I could love And I know your glove Could fit my arm I’m just not sure you would keep me from harm If you held me under your roof And I need proof So I set a test You knock a domino and I do the rest As we clamber up onto each other Just a man and his lover In the middle of the sea It’s open season on what you think of me As you plot a course and chart the shore And I must admit that I adore All you have to offer I just wish that I didn’t stop her From expressing what she feel And the moment that we share is real
It wouldn’t be Dublin if I wasn’t late And somewhere under the covers is a man I’d like to date And I think of him as I sit in this sojourn Do I always have to mourn It’s been ten years since we talked A decade since I walked My boots down the road And everything slowed Down, how do I get away I cover my ears so I don’t hear what you say Because you tell me that it’s over, over the hill And I know that you would kill Just to feel alive But somewhere in the dive You found the water you wanted You tell me and I can’t say that I amn’t daunted By the weight of your magnitudinous pain And I just stand out in the rain So I can feel it on my skin But I never felt him Move with the beat Touched his face when we’re feet to feet And somewhere in a daydream, diamond true I think that I found you For a reason And for a season That lasted three hours long I was the ocean in which you drown
How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are Is anything more than revolutions around a star And I may be thirty three But I’ve never been more free As they put handcuffs on me And tell me to preserve my dignity If I want to shine But I’m self effulgent and love is mine Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage Don’t feel bad It isn’t all your fault I kicked you out of the vault After letting the key slip into your hand And now I demand That you break like a wave upon my shore If you want me to love you more But it’s just like listening to the scene She wakes her own dream Up from where it lay And I don’t get a say About the perforate you opened And something is hoping In what you never were to me I take a moment and I just be
I search my memory for some remnants of pain But when I find them it is in vain Because they don’t reflect the sky like they used to And though I’m superhuman I still bruise too And you can see the blue through my translucent skin Is it wrong if I say it was because of him Because he silences my voice, puts a hand over my mouth Til I don’t have a choice but to dwell in self doubt Is this the gaslit anthem or just some season that falls In the autumn down the halls Of the ceremony we once were Now I watch you bow to her And I won’t stand in competition So you say to her the bitch is gone I can hear it in your tone When you talk to me on the phone Through clenched teeth As I try to share the beach That got me through a sparser climate But you are an intelligent primate And you can make your own decision now If you break the heart that I allow To fall into your hands Is it my fault that slipping sands Can’t be stayed by frantic movement And when you find the Divine you cannot improve it
I thought God could only ever be found In the complete absence of sound In the silence that descends On my room as the riverbends From lavender to primrose and flame And I wake up from my name And it all seems so perfect, true Til I met you And it all cascaded down You wanted to run my town So you could have a girl in the wings And, my, you love the way she sings But you don’t understand her And you demand her To be as you would please Up on her tiptoes or down on her knees But neither one will ever be me So I let you go free Though I love you with all of my heart I won’t make pain just to make art Or love Or fit like a glove Into a biological cog I dream of a fire burning a log While we lie on the rug before it And you know I would adore it A blanket made just for two But it never was me and you We spit fire into each other’s veins And in the aftermath cleaned up the bloodstains On the carpet where we fought It was in darkness that the ring was wrought And cascaded into eternity You asked me to burn with thee But I let go that crime And am absorbed into the sublime And even if they don’t get me here It doesn’t mean I’ll run to you dear If you make a fool of me When I just wanted life school and mystery To encompass all we were I dropped the glass when I saw her And it broke and shattered on the floor You don’t even hide that you adore Another pair of eyes And my trust in you dies Slowly but surely in the awe That you could begin the Great Thaw
Did you make a mistake telling me to go to hell And now all you want to shout is that you wish me well After all the evidence to the contrary Now you hold vigils and pray to Mother Mary But you don’t find any answers there At least not the ones that make you care And I spilled truth like ink All over the kitchen sink And you balked at its black, viscous flavour And I looked at you as though you were my saviour But you only saw the war And you crucified me for What you sought to keep Now it haunts you in your sleep And you can’t get my voice out of your mind It whispers to you as to what you’ve left behind And your bed is warm But you look so forlorn At the shape that sleeps beside you in the sheets And you wonder if two people ever meet On a level playing field And I feel you hate me so I yield To the tide of going away It isn’t indifference that made me sway And let the ribbon float into the air It’s because I loved the man that was there
I feel the fatigue in his bones As he tries to close our homes To the oncoming wind And he knows that he’s sinned So he can’t hold my gaze Should I tell him that there’s no one to save When he tries to reach out to catch the lapel Of the girl who fell Into his arms for a while And he could crack cameras with a smile And I watched it break across you so easy It was as though the Universe was just there to please me As I shut half of my soul down So I can go undetected in your town But eventually, the bells, they rang And somewhere our song sang Out its own refrain And it was as though a train Ran right through the gates Now the boy thinks the girl hates Him for what he is I just had to go so we could both live Not merely survive Sometimes I wonder if you’re still alive Coz I dropped out of the scene And I only meet you in my dream And I woke up at five in the morning And something had me mourning As I screamed “he’s dead” They conspire to kill me instead And it was never what I wanted I wonder if the love we share is haunted By the ghost of lives past Something last But something just fall away Like it was never made to stay And he casts a glance my way Would you dance if the record play Our song again Which one was it, the one about men And how they fall short of the sky When we are released do we die Into an open expanse And would our love get another chance When the rote learned is done After a hundred echoes around the sun
There is an approaching age That I have not yet written on the page It is the year of forty two And it is being free of you For once and for all There was a freefall And I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it But boy it Is too rich for my blood now I’ve said so long for good somehow And you’re bitter in your harness As you imagine my mini dress In someone else’s hands But it’s all slipping sands And he may have made me melt But it wasn’t the same as what I felt For you in the woods And the doctor wants to do my bloods To make sure I’m not sick Sometimes I think they’re thick Because they never seem to catch on That I am already long gone And they can’t tether soul to a skin Once it has resolved itself in him And I know she has trials of her own It’s just my true colours shown Are deep red and fragrant blue And some of those were borrowed from you So if you don’t mind I’m gonna just be kind To myself for a season And let you go without a reason
Did I miss out on utter defeat By the skin of my teeth Or was it all an illusion Something I found out about in my confusion And can they really read my mind Or has it all been left behind In the melee of all and sundry On a darkened Monday As I just ponder the truth And what I escaped from in my youth Is the dark a punishment Or is it just where the light went When it dived into a black hole There’s something of my soul That resembles that monument And the paper is bent In the place where I folded it for you You know, it wasn’t because I wanted to Let you go that I left It was the sheer audacity of the theft That occurred in broad daylight Now there’s nothing I can say to put it right Because on the 21st of December I don’t know if you remember It was twelve years ago And you acted like you were in the know And that the prophecy was in vain But I can feel the coming rain Like a shadow over the valley And I wanted to be your alley Til you revealed your truth to me And I balked in indignity You have a woman on the sly And you never even told me goodbye You always kept me in your heart Like a second cow at the mart Just so you could feel secure One ready and able and the other pure But untouchable as a star As I ponder what you are Somewhere in the serene Of someone else’s dream
The Poetry Book 