The emptiness fills up my room
A hollow no words or space can consume
I wait on the edge as it moves to my side
Nowhere to go and nowhere to hide
I think of my future and its a monstrous black hole
My past is like tar, the same shade as coal
My present, right now, is just standing still
Not pushed by time as its folding my will
I can’t play games or run races real fast
No enthusiasm lifts, the joy doesn’t last
Yet I’m dancing jigs in circles on the floor
Talking to people or holding a door
The small things in life are taking their toll
Showing a school where I want to enrol
I can’t understand the path that it weaves
Except it’s my home and it never leaves
So I’m broken and bent to multiplicitious shapes
As God builds an army of blue suits and red capes
I see it in their faces as they smile on their way
How light hits their eyes and emblazons the day 

And I worry each night that I might be alone
The only one drifting as I’m sunk like a stone
But it doesn’t seem real or possible to be
That everyone else isn’t just like me
The fear in their faces as they look out in loss
And I know in an instant we all pay the cost
When God lights a fire he blazes it strong
No way I could be the only one wrong
Especially him when I think of his way
He’s cut loose and freedom that sees me today
I want to cry out for some guidance from him
But he’s terrified too as he hides with his grin

Punch down posideans opening up at our knees
We buckle and break like wisps on the breeze
Fall into this place where all is so calm
Resting our hearts in the Lord’s open palm
Other days too he rises up like a knife
I’m cut into pieces and fear for my life
As he stalks and stares and everything’s seen
Beautiful boy punctures holes in my dream
Like the sky storm at night that moves like the sea
The fabric of somewhere that eats up at me
And I know I am safe though I tremble and shake
Bow down to him and just let him take
I wonder aloud what this could possibly be
Know in my soul, its God’s plan for me
I want to go together if we are to begin
His hand in mine, soft skin on skin
Draw down the acid, the venom’s sucked out
As we both come to learn what we’re really about