Tag: writing

Alley Cat

.Reading time 1 minute.
But I need a man, it’s as simple as that
And you’re right up my alley, cat
And I’m climbing the walls and I’m burning down curtains
Worrying you with the way that it’s hurtin’ 
Coz you’re stellar but you’re incomplete
And I thank the stars that made us meet
As they crossed separate paths 
There are things I won’t take back
Just coz summer’s in the sky
And I do not lie 
When I say you’re everything to me
But I want you to be free
To love the one you’re with
I’m okay to take a hit
If that’s how you roll the dice 
I know that I wasn’t nice
When I screamed profanity
Down a line listening to me
Just offload my lorry truck
Did you ever give a fuck
Or did you just give too much 
It’s okay you aren’t butch
You’re just the kind of guy I need 
Please don’t make me bleed
From the want of the walls that stay
And you just blew them all away
With your sudden gust of wind 
I grow out of the thought I’ve sinned 
Coz they told me I had to confess
Now I just look like a mess 
And I never considered 
Until the branch withered 
With the weight of what it can’t bear
I watch the fabric tear
Of a dream I’m walking in
But you look at me and I begin

Liquor Talk

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The last time we spoke
I found you unabashedly woke
And I was a little shy
Coz I feel I’m gonna die
Like dead, like RIP me
Coz you are quintessentially free
And I can’t contain
An ocean in your mountain of pain
Because the forest runs wild
And I have loved you since I was a child 
Growing up to the brambles and brush 
Always being in a sort of a rush
Trying to fit in all I can
Then suddenly, a man 
At eighteen years old
The story’s not even close to being told 
Coz I’m ancient and I’m new
But I’ve never seen anything like you
With your debonair 
And your cute as hell fucking hair
And I know you might disagree
But, honey, if it was up to me
I’d keep you for a century, more
Fall to the floor
Coz I adore 
Everything in the way you move 
You look like Astaire in your shoes 
As they make a pattern on me
I love you Now, eternally

My Greatest Defeat

.Reading time 1 minute.
You are my greatest defeat
I just fall at your feet
And open up the midnight in the dawn
I look to my side and you are long gone 
And I’ve mountains to climb
But there were oceans of you being mine
Just settling down with a kid on the way
What is it that people say
“You’ll understand when you’re older”
But your gravity makes me bolder
Bold enough to refuse 
The point you want to prove 
With your gravelly voice
As if I even had a choice
To choose my own oppression 
And this is my confession
You always felt like a weight to carry
This guy who sorta wants to marry
Me at half my age
There’s ink enough to fill the page
With the stories that I make of us
Pencil marks on broken trust
Coz I just rewrite the story
Think of me in all of my glory
Just asking you to stay the night
You ask me if I’m alright
And I am but I’m sorta not 
The tilted stage is a lot
And is it every relationship 
Soldiers that war equip
To hold out on each other strong
I didn’t do anything wrong
It just wasn’t meant to be
Back then, but now I see
The fluorescent in the neon light
I don’t let you outta sight
And I was queen until we meet
Hold on, I’ve got another sheet
I’ve got to fill
You forget but I never will

Friendship Bracelets

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They make the friendship bracelets for each other 
Going to the Taylor Swift concert 
And there may be a stadium full
But, still, their skin’s as thin as cotton wool 
Coz she’s sensitive
This goddess that we address
Singing of years in the machine
And being true to her dream
That’s what you get
When you cannot forget
What you are
And she is no superstar
She’s down to earth
And recounts the way it hurts
When the waves crash
Life superceded by a dash 
Between the beginning and end 
And I’ve had a friend 
Who gave one to me 
It shattered but in twenty three
I still keep the pieces 
And my love for her never ceases
Lest we entertain 
What’s been done for us in vain
Like acid rain
Peels the paint off your car
And travelers dare to go far
But by Kilglass lake 
I found something I will not forsake

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

The Avenues

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Which would be worse
That you move to Australia 
Or that I meet you on the street
And the words they might fail ya
As you present 
Your wife and kids
And I must contend 
With the life that’s his
And I let it go at eighteen
And I’ve been trying to right the dream
Ever since
I wince
When I think of all the truth I spilled
Out from my soul like it is killed
And I know he knotted threads
Wore them thinner as I lay in bed
With fear in my throat
If you burn a witch would she float 
And I can’t fight with this great swathe of sea
As it’s all pouring through me 
Like a vessel in the storm
Giving voice to the cold meets warm
And there’s really nothing stopping the flow
When you know you just let go

It Was More Than That

.Reading time 1 minute.
It was a grapevine fire that caught onto you
And I didn’t want you to know I was staring through
A portal into another world
How did I not see that you had a girl
And all my detective, all my sleuth
Building pillars of time upon our youth
And they had me admitted to a psych ward
I just look at you when I’m bored
And it makes me smile 
Then Emmett crashes in for a while 
With his clipboard and pen 
Could you say that again 
Like I said to you
The pain in your eyes was pushing me through
The eye of a needle so fine
God, I wish we would’ve had more time
Til the separate 
Would you call it fate
Or just say it’s my fault 
That a heart’s not made to be locked in a vault
And let out on special occasions 
Jesus, what are those abrasions 
Did you roll down a hill
He tells the truth but I never will
In his company 
And he just acts the fool with me 
And I feel whole 
I didn’t realise I’d found my soul

Heaney’s Shovel

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Here is my pen like the blade of a knife
As it furrows through earth already turned twice 
And there is treasure within, I can hear it call
And all of the problems are not there at all
As I open air in the core of my being
I know there is something here worth seeing
And they tell me lies but they believe
In all of the strings that hang from my sleeve
And I’m just untwining a tapestry
So the threads might be able to run free
And make themselves a masterpiece
Not somebody else’s picture to learn to crease

Emptiness, Devoid Of Form

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The feel of not existing
Like I don’t have a form
Even though the body’s breathing
Is vital and is warm
Like I’m spirited away 
To another dimension
But I’m still in this one
And there’s inherent tension
Between what I am
And what I could be 
I always feel the gap
Though others cannot see
And I’m mindful and secure
Minute and profound
But my wings are getting lazy
From staying on the ground
And I want to try them out 
To see if I would soar
You say don’t wish for miracles 
But I just want them more
As I’m touched by the divine
In form but beyond reason
It’s time to remind you
That life is but a season
And like leaves in Autumn
We colour up then fade away
Don’t blame me for wanting more
To make enough of this day
That we’re given, in between two nights
He speaks to me a moment and my spirit ignites
To burn a hole in destiny or all that is to come
I’m not just a tragic tale I’ve been telling the young
To be wary and be watchful
But don’t forget to dance
I spin the top of reason 
And give you a second chance
To be all that you might
Ever want to desire
You looked in my eyes
I burnt up in the fire
That consume like ash and rust
For a phoenix to rise
It’s been exaggerated
The reports of my demise
I’m still flipping the lid
Of every bottle top
And you cannot contain me
As something that I’m not
But something that I am
And ever will be
I opened up my heart
Suddenly, I am free

Away With

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I dunno if you’re watching but I’m ticking the clock
It’s time to be all that I am not
And I pounded pavements just to see your face
Til I got lost in the mire of an unholy disgrace
And I ran from due diligence and I fled from the real
I searched out for something with which to cut the deal
But all I could find were ribbons and thread
That you left behind when you softly said
I can’t do this, let me go
I watched as I did, you know,
As the fleeting tide washed out to sea
The thing is I know though it’s coming back to me
Like you once again now you’re in my arms
I fall like the rain for your charms
All aglow and so happy in this reverie
If there’s one thing in this life it’s that he’s meant for me
And I don’t know anyway
If he is okay
Coz I stopped checking his page
But I’m all up in his grill like it’s all the rage
Til there’s nowhere left that I can go
I love you, you’re awesome, please don’t let me go

The Guy On The Screen

.Reading time 1 minute.
Waiting for the guy on the screen 
Is it just a long dream 
Since I was born 
I've been in love with the storm
That just rages
I use pages 
To rifle through another scene 
And I say that it's just something I've been 
And I wonder if Stephen 
Would smile if the ends weren't even
And I just want to show 
Him the places that I go
When my serenity expands
There are vast oceans of open lands 
That are there for the the perusing 
I have no idea what it is that I'm losing 
When I let you go 
It's the complete unknown and it show 
Me something that I've never seen
But it's nerve wrecking to be the queen 
Of the midnights that just sashay 
Is it okay
If I like you like that 
The boy said he wanted his hat
Back but it was mine
And I tell it to him a thousand time
You can only ever be
The space that you set free

Snare Drum

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Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

Rooting Fir

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
https://pin.it/4FP8SDa
The tree beds down deep in my soul
And I’m as icy as the North Pole
On a summer evening
It’s global warming but are you believing 
The stories they weave
And it’s cotton wool I have up my sleeve
No knife to stab you in the back
No hatred to make an attack
On what is perfect pure
You loved me but you weren’t sure
That you could trust the branch to bough
But I’ll come close if you allow
Me near your cistern heart
The one that fills before it starts
To empty out
And the earth quakes with your doubt 
As you mean it all to me
Could you be my long lost sea

Paper Trains

.Reading time 2 minutes.
https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

The Bungalow By The Woods

.Reading time 1 minute.
https://pin.it/22sQbdh
I run but there’s no race that I win 
I walk away but I think of him
Every single day
Was there really no other way
To handle things
And my heart sings
When the memory rises
And my surprises 
To find him there
And find he care
Surpasses all my man made doubt
And a life learned to live without
Like holding back the air
I need to breathe and I care
About what happens to you
I would love to reach out to 
You across the great divide 
But I fear the rebuff and I hide 
My secrets away so safe
And I used to be a little waif
In hunger with what she couldn’t live
I hope that you forgive
Me for my transgression
Why does this feel like a confession
When I’m at a loss as to what to say
So I make something up by the way
And feel all the penance that’s due
I just want to be worthy of you 
But you won’t see me no more
I knocked and the door 
Opened and closed in my face
Did you know this used to be my place

Not That Bad

.Reading time 1 minute.
Do we just settle for not that bad
When she’s the best you’ve ever had
And I’m walking down lines and roads
Kissing princes, they turn into toads 
And I’m way past what I used to be
I wish I could’ve looked forward to see
Where that path might lead
And all the aggrandizement that made me bleed
When it was one need
And the law says take heed, take heed 
Of all that you don’t know where
And maybe people do care
It’s just that you could‘nt see
I reach out and say; it’s me
As the soft of his voice reminds me of your arms 
And we grew up on separate farms 
In rural Irish ways
And I don’t care what anyone says 
You’re still the one for me
I loved you so I let you go free
Now I just want to capture
Evince a state of rapture
That might never be known
And I want to love, don’t want to own
If that’s okay with you
I’m gonna wait coz I want to

Changing Me

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
https://pin.it/5qDYMI4
I’m a bit different
But I’m still the same
Growing up
Without a name
And I know I was immature 
And harsh as hell
And pushed away
Anyone who wanted to tell
Me how to live my life
2.5 kids and a wife
And now he’s got all that
And all I have is to want him back
And it’s a flailing in the water drunk
It’s a commerce cost that’s sunk
Like the coconut on the veranda
And I wrote a poem about Amanda
Because she reminds me of you
I left but it wasn’t coz I wanted to

Amanda’s Dream

.Reading time 1 minute.
https://pin.it/32shwlY
Driving through town and I think of Amanda
She was into the emo scene
And her hair was long
Like a fucking queen 
And I try to emulate what I saw back then 
Seventeen 2.0 again 
And I wonder where he is
If he has a wife and kids
I used to check his deets 
Before I admitted utter defeat
And the family life always seemed empty
Like why would you when you’re good looking and twenty
But when you’re thirty three and laying waste
Everyone seems to say; make haste, make haste
And I’m like a rock in the river, it just flows by
And it might be a long time before I die
And forty looks scary as hell
Do you grow up or lose life as well
Coz age hasn’t changed the core of peace
And forgiveness might be the only release
For what she did to me
If you wake up are you free
Or do you deal with encumbrance still
Going through a dark night of the will

Conflict In The Vortex

.Reading time 1 minute.
It’s like sex doesn’t exist
Though it pertinently does
As it drew you down from above
Into a human incarnation
Til all the cells are in formation
And in a cohesive whole
Come together to house your soul
In a container, a vessel pure
But mind your language, you must be demure
And not let your thoughts stray
Admit to thinking and feeling that way
About him
And a woman can’t win
Coz she gets beat
If she can’t stand the heat
Of the furnace roar
Blowing a blazing breeze into a soar
As it brushes back your hair
Did you know that I was there
When I looked at you
I thought you looked at me too
But the army’s engaged
And, the battle, it raged 
On an open plain
Saying we’ll never do that again
But we do, obviously 
And it is no mystery
Why in these many streams
We can’t be the one who dreams
Coz we keep waking with a shudder
And I may never be a mother
Coz I’m hopelessly devoted to a dream that I
Will follow til the day I die
And I dunno
If it will let me go
And make a life
Be someone’s other half, their wife
And the suitors are few
But each one of them borrowed their eyes from you

The Ominous Cloud

.Reading time 1 minute.
The ominous cloud
Hangs over your wall
She says that it’s better
Coz it makes you tall
To want to see over
The match that she’s made
But all this cement
Just puts me in the shade
As she cries and wails 
And moans and tears
How could I have put up
With this for years
As she tries to convince
To follow her way
But I’m not down to serve
What you think that you say
And you hit hard and hit soft
It depends on the weather
Throw a knife in my back
So you can know it better
And it’s nothing but forests
This calamitous rain
It seems she takes refuge
In the hallways of pain
And she claims that she loves me
She swears she does
But she gets out her gun
To shoot my white doves
And I forgive
But I move away
I won’t be bowed low
By the things that you say
By the attitude you wear
Like a camisole top
I gave you my heart
But my soul you have not

Your Supernova

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
You supernova 
And I’ll pull ova 
In my car
Pick you up at the bar 
Coz you don’t drive
Are you still alive
Coz I never know
People are there
And then they go
And is it just my belief
That death could be blessed relief
Or some kind of saintly air
All I know is Heaven is there 
When you break the sun like a smile
And I’m wondering all the while
“Will this thing end?”
But I’m your friend 
In a come what may
I won’t give up on what you say
When you say it to me
I kiss the bird and I set him free

Dropping The Bass

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One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door 
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men 
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun

The Elucidate

.Reading time 1 minute.
Trying to elucidate 
The thing I used to call my fate
And I’ve got a lot on my plate
As they silence the confusion
But watch what you’re calling a delusion
Coz you don’t know what you say
They don’t understand so they put me away
And I fought and I raged against the machine
But would you make war with a dream
Or just see the sunset over the glen
And if I fight it’ll just happen again
One where the man breathes down my neck
And search for a ship he can wreck
And will I just be mad til my dying day
Or will the pain just go away
If I stand up and believe
She rolled up tissues under my sleeve
So I’d have something if I got stuffy nosed
The camera was paused so I posed
But I just look like him
So I took it again

Interpretations

.Reading time 2 minutes.
https://pin.it/5OngcuY
Can psychosis be precocious 
Or is it just kundalini
Is it love or does it just demean me
Like the woman said on the tv
I’m four years old and I cut my knee
I still have the scar
At 64 will that be what you are
Just another favor of my youth
Oh, time can be such a brute
It offers you the sky
But with a catch, you die
In the end or before your time
I’m hesitant so I rhyme
To make sense of things 
Meaning out of broken wings
And I was in a tight enclosure 
Thought I’d die from exposure
To the sun
Coz there’s this light shining from everyone
And the man passed my bed
I thought I’d pass out instead 
Coz I was just riding the vibe
Living (coz I am alive)
And he thought it was the bathroom glare
There were no locks in there
And they would bang on the door
And say; “just doing the check”
And I’m just some ship you wreck
With your foreign shore
Why the hell do I want more
Instead of less
It’s like some sort of undress
When my soul is bare
And you found the thread that started the tear
I got in your head and wound up in there
Where they parcel the joy
But I exchange it for a boy
I just found by the side of the road
I said to leave down the load
Even just for a moment, in my presence
And I could feel his essence
Start to fly
I hope I don’t die
Before I see him again
And I break my rule on men

Syllables

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That single syllable that’s uttered inside
Does it go away when a person has died
That resounding Om
Does it disappear or does it just go home
And the gong, it rings
The spirit sings
And we are entrapped in everythings 
Like diamonds, jewels, bands of gold
What you buy and what isn’t sold
I left the mountain I hold so dear
I abandoned a friend and it’s crystal clear
That I did her wrong
And her song
Sings to me in the darkest night
Lord, I hope she is alright
Because she had to fight fire and bone
Stand up straight when she was all alone
And she’s always been something like home
Though I no longer stare at my phone
Hoping something will come through
And that I might hear from you
Like the days of yore
And what we all were before
The crystal glass cracked and shattered
Like a cod we’re a little bit battered
And I don’t pretend to entertain
What you lived out in vain
But the rain
Falls on all of us
And trust
Is not something you can break
When it is constant and for my sake
The glistening
Of a bird on the wing
As it shoots through the sky
Suspended between what will and will not die
Will always rise
And the horizon
Will always shine
It is minute but it is mine

Trauma And Its Evidence

.Reading time 2 minutes.

https://youtu.be/zlsEbeX8IG8

Do I break the lid on categorical pain
That seems to be as seasonal as rain
And some people walk through a waterfall
But they don’t seem to get wet at all
And I climbed up mountains and I ran down valleys
Befriended enemies and demonized allies
But it never got me away
From what I quintessentially say
And as a baby I cried a lot
But what was it that time forgot
My first day of school
Or when that girl broke the golden rule
Watched my reflection in another’s eyes
Or felt the pain when somebody dies
Like my skin is being ripped from my bones
Or the silence when I’m all alone
Feels so much like peace
When the noise cease
And you can’t erase the childhood you own
The good, the bad, before the iPhone
That we didn’t post
Or the narcissism when that person ghost
Me over something I didn’t say
So I let her walk away
Took it out on a guy
Who was the answer and the reason why
The stars shone like diamonds in his eyes
He suddenly lit up the night skies
And the river runs deep and true
I forgot about loss the moment that you
Held my hand, they were all asleep
And is it just like a trinket I keep
Like so many others
And the cloud smothers
Me with its love 
Though I still look above
For a being I can’t find
I didn’t really go out of my mind
I just had to get away
And what people say
Claws at me
But the thaw reaches deep and sets me free
From the aching of time
A moment, nothing, and then It was mine

Solipsis

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The sun is shining
The leaves are green
And I thank you for 
All that you have been
In the midnight stars 
Or ocean blues
I see you in
Sunset hues
And when the dawn 
Comes for the day
I thank you for
What's gone away
And what has risen
In its place 
I'm home again
In open space

Steven On The Stillorgan Road

.Reading time 1 minute.
I think you are beautiful, I think you're a star
You really don't know how lovely you are
And I'd love to look at you and see you within
Your soul forms a shape and its constellating
And your eyes they are diamonds that shine from your core
I'd love to love you and then a little bit more
And your face draws my gaze but I don't want to stare
All I know is that I know you are there
And you don't fade away and you do not flinch
In the years that have passed you have not moved an inch
And we may be old and weary on the bone 
But I know in your presence I am not alone
And I wish I could spend some time by your side
Kiss the ground that you walk because you walk alive 
Shrink the violets to colour the room 
Thank you for coming not a minute too soon 


Photo Credit: https://pin.it/4jJmaS8

Ultramarine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Saving orcas down by the pond
And you didn't know but I waited there til you were gone
And you'll never see
But I wanted to ask if you would marry me
With your poetic stare
You captivate people who aren't even there
And I missed the day you filmed with your latest band
And laughed out loud and said it'll be grand
Cause you've got that mysticism 
Carving a river with the blades of a prism 
And bending lines of truth like light through the water
I was afraid to be such a daughter
Because you are like no one else
And your hand magnetises atoms the molecules felt 
As you hold me close
Not with arms but a holy ghost
And you be company
In the darkest night when guns ignite you sat next to me
In midnight blues
That turn into mornings that can't handle you
Cause you are so delicately fine
And I'm afraid I will crush in the vice of my love what I want to be mine
But you are not for the taking
You've got your own soul mixed with the rock and roll of the path you are making
You beat your own track
And I fear I will never cross your piercing endeavour on my way back
Now you've got a success life
And I'm just a drifter who wonders if you missed her cause you said I was nice
I guess I never felt enough
To fill the chasm or the hole in the depths of your soul with a glass bottle love 
You are magic beams
When I wonder if this earth is all that I'm worth you speak to my dreams
I wish I was like you
So fearlessly true
And unafraid
Yes I confess, you marked the spot
Where the Last Airbender won't fail to remember what you thought she forgot 
I hold a star for you
And I plot the chart of my constellation heart every night that comes through
Stay forestry amid the plain
I cracked the stone and I let the rain

Double Doors

.Reading time 1 minute.
Siena’s tried cocaine
I tried to numb the pain
With all the alcohol
But I’m just throwing bricks at the wall
Hoping that they stick 
Don’t be a dick
About it
Wasn’t I right to doubt it
Now I see you in her arms
And none of your charms
Can weasel your way back to me
Just take that jack to the wheel and see
I’m not for the changing
And all the flowers fading
Don’t mean that summer’s gone
Another year and this song
Will be played
What you say
Don’t mean a thing
And another ring
To hold my finger tethered to your soul
And the waves don’t crash to your rock and roll
Anymore
You see that door 
It opens from the inside out
And my mouth
Is not somewhere you find yourself
I am no Christmas elf
To deliver parcels to your tree
I just want you to be free with me
And let it go
I followed you just so you know

The Pain Of Mankind

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The guy cheats on his girl
With a woman he’s made his world 
And I see the flicker in his eyes 
That is the tell in his disguise
As she tries to put distance between
Me, her, him and the dream
And it’s not like I own the dude 
But do I intrude
To ask my boo
If he’s been making love to you
Behind my back
He sees the threat and he attack 
Me for all my voice can tell
And it reaches out to you as well 
And it’s like the storm knows what is
And you were never his
Just like he was never mine
Just a way I did time

Galaxies

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Coming down from the sky
Wondering if I’m gonna die 
As the wings catch air
And a shudder ripples in there
How does a flight
Set enough fire to ignite
A storm in me
And history
Is nothing new
So stars are spilling from the space that’s you
A galaxy, a kaleidoscope 
And Regina begins to hope
As she crawls up off the floor
Why is to know you to adore 
The shawl you clasp around your shoulder
And we’re not getting any older
Only more well versed in the scene
Even if the whole thing is a dream
To be deciphered by a sleuth like me
To know me is to set me free

The Broken Girls Club

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Welcome to the broken girls club
Admission is free
But it will cost you more
Than you ever thought it could be
And is it just an excuse that we get to use
To say we can’t live up to the point you prove
With pen on paper
And the people who hate her
Cutting like incisors
Labeled as survivors 
When it’s just a midnight rush
That is tender to the touch
That spirals out into infinity
Are you listening to me 
At all
And I hit a wall
Or bedrock
As you claim to be what I am not

My Melancholia

.Reading time 1 minute.
The streets are awash with my well worn fame
But just coz you know my name 
Doesn’t mean you know what I am
And I have a plan
To be the best thing since sliced pan 
But I get interrupted 
And things must be adjusted 
To fit my frame 
I used to love the game
There was that time my vision narrowed
Watching films and the haunting harrowed
As everyone just moved on
The place where I stood was long gone
And images rose up like a screen
Popping bubbles in the dream
And I lay in bed
Trying to quench the firestorm in my head
At eighteen
In Roebuck Hall stifling a scream
Into my pillow
Now she’s released Willow
Into the world
And I’ve grown up a girl
Into a fortress strong
Resilient that could never be wrong
And I spilt ink all over the page
Used my pen to rage and rage
Instead of caging the beast
I let the paper become the feast
And devour the pain inside
I don’t think I need to hide
Coz I know there’s a whole plethora
Of people who wish they didn’t know that 
That which I’m talking about
And the words that came out of my mouth
Were confused and afraid 
Like the sun had just put me in the shade
But it’s all in the past
Though the strength will last
Some kind of quantum leap
In consciousness that doesn’t sleep
Even when my eyes close
Are there reasons for everything, only God knows

Say You Do

.Reading time 1 minute.
We sprung right back
Like an elastic band
I caught your eye
When I held your hand
And you brushed my shoulder
As you walked past
We rolled boulders
To make the damn thing last
But the splinter appeared
And horror stuck
The bombs went off 
And I screamed “duck”
As we both fought it out
Through hammer and nails
I dunno about you
But running never fails
And will I find you
On the other side of the water
The bells are ringing 
But you haven’t caught her
In the snare that just appeared
I still remember when Vonnie said cleared
And everything changed
Like the social molecules rearranged
Around the system of a new regime 
And I realized the world is a dream
But a convincing one
As I put trust in the Son
To lead me out of smoke and mirrors
And he doesn’t believe in everything he hears
As I play a symphony 
To the tune of his melody
On a keyboard or guitar
Oh, how to know what you are
Coz my words could never contain
The colour of your magnificent pain

Flights Of Panic

.Reading time 1 minute.
The curbs of death
Mark the pavements of my mind
And I’m stepping on cracks
And what I left behind
Coz no one’s exempt
I dunno where it all went
The love and the fever
Do you think that you could just believe her
When she shines her light
And everything will be alright
They are not just grey platitudes of wishes
That flit across your mind as you’re washing the dishes
And a sudden plate falls from your grasp
Ceramic but it shatters like glass
All over the hardwood floor
Or tiled with patterns you adore
And there’s a mess
Like a man and woman in undress
Fixing pieces together
But the target moved and now the weather
Is spilling snow
Oh, all that you did not know
When you were young 
Was I always this highly strung 
And a friend permits
Me to call it quits
On anxious furore
Who are they after, who was I before
Indeed, was there ever a pre
Or is it just me
Who clatters the makings of another dawn
Something whispers; “they’re not gone”

Choppy Seas

.Reading time 1 minute.
The non Christian nature of my poems
Not rooted in love and charity
But the turmoil of a soul well oiled
I writhe in confusion
Is this a calling?
Am I meant to put pen to paper
And write out the storm
The crackle of firelight keeps me warm
But it pushes others away
Because even the best
As separate can’t stay
Only in the groundswell
In the depths of our origin
Are we one
Beyond the surface reality
Of seeming appearances
We share that underlying wellness
That defines all time
Sets a clock ticking 
And a person to mime
As though ocean days were all they had
In forests and grey hairs
We’re getting older
And I wish someone would’ve told her
That it was all okay
Oh, leave it up to me!
I turn the key
And set you free

A Little Bit Longer

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The hate boils like oil in my throat
A corrosive on the metal you float
When you send it out to sea
Don’t count on it if you rely on me
Coz man I am no steam train
But I swear if you use that phrase again
I might just pop my cork
The road less travelled and the fork 
Is driving me half insane
Did you just use my name
To describe a certain state of mind
But it’s the world I leave behind
When I step out on the bridge
It’s like a Rocky Mountain ridge
As I traverse these perilous seas
That would have anyone on their knees
But I am not designed to please
Only be truthful and real
Do you know what you tried to steal?

Pondering My Life

.Reading time 1 minute.
Sitting in a New York café
Wondering whose gonna win the day
Is it me or my fear 
I shake because the doom was near
And it pulled me far away from the storm
Do you think the sun is warm
Or is it just faking it’s heat
But I can feel it on my feet
As my toes shake sand 
Out of the knots in my hand 
Like a well worn tree
He left and then never met me
And I gotta find God
Do you venerate the Lord
And is it just another symbol
Or can you see out the window 
To where the grass is green 
Something in me has always been
And will abide
I don’t have to hide 
From the shirking of weight
They call it luck, I call it fate

Leagues

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I dig you
Like a grave
And you’re the hero
I’d die to save
In the monuments
Of long lost glory
And are you just staring
At my story
As we put leagues 
In between ourselves
Like Walmart
And stacking shelves
For all our worth
I swore but it still hurt  
And cursed the stubbing toe
It didn’t make the pain go
Only added a layer of ennui
I’m always longing for open sky
To set sail a sea
Into the blue eternity 
That stretches out the clouds
Until I make the people proud
With who I am
Something about love
And God’s plan

Sony In My System

.Reading time 1 minute.
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady
And I dunno but I think that she hates me
For intruding on their sacred space
But he was a drug I loved to taste 
And the hit was high
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
Like it’s a final sort of end
Or worse maybe we’re still friends
And he could call me pal
But I’m not a second best sort of gal
I’d rather cut my losses and run
Find something else that shines the sun
And who knows, maybe it’s not a man
Maybe there’s no limit to what I can 
Do
It’s just not you
And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony
Listening to that guy that’s lonely
And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note
Give him letters that he can quote
Like before
When he beat a path to my door
Only for me to fly
And the year the whole world threatened to die
In a storming cavalcade
Is it a fate we can evade 
Or is it an absolute rest
We get the day before the test

Looking At Him

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Looking at him
And I cannot win
Coz he commands the deck
And is a head wreck
As I try to emerge from my cocoon
But the flavour of him is in the room
And I try to run but I cannot escape
Do you remember when Superman had a red cape
And couldn’t see through lead
Kryptonite and you’d leave him for dead
For all his muscle memory
He hasn’t got the best of me
Coz I’m no Lana Lang 
One of the girls who also ran 
I’ve got my own flair and kick
Do you know what you’re dealing with
As they try to tear me to shreds
For what the people do in beds
And I fight my way out with storm and grit
Go ahead and call me a bitch
For failing to reply to your text
But do you know what scene is next
In the brimming full of Diagonal Alley
I’m on the land overlooking the valley
And I can’t stand the facetiousness
Of the person they think they address
When they hurl their words at me
Who do you think you free
When you’re all about captivity 
And holding me back
Then the weather attack
The spacious air
I should know coz I was there
When it all went down
Now it’s just the past and the sound
Of tomorrow’s bells won’t ring in this city
And you could say it’s a pity
But it wasn’t so sad when you were staring down
The woman you love in a white gown 
Like it was something you could fake
I hear it in the sharp intake
Of breath that you breathe
That’s life, they say, but it’s the life I need

Somewhere Clandestine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Stuck in ‘08
It was my date with fate
As it led me to your door
Did you want me more
More than I can attest
And we’re both fully dressed
But I feel your eyes rake over me
Like we’re naked with destiny
Just us and the come what may
And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say
But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding
But there’s something of love that is all abiding
Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else
With skin so thin you could make a heart melt 
With the fire that burns off you
It seared a part of me too
And I can’t change the fact of you
I’m not the same and neither are you
But we both kinda are
Like the atoms forged in a star
Or the matter that make time and space
Bend the equivalent of the human race
To the tune of light refract
I never said no but I still want you back
Standing outside my window
It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though
And I cannot deny my feelings were real
With the depth of the red that he deal
An ace of hearts
And mine almost starts
To beat double time
He was the essence of fine
As he’d crack a smile in my direction
Like he’s open to cards if I make selection
And he lives just across the hall
And he kinda caught the ball
When I threw it at him
Is it a decision I cannot win
Coz I love them all 
The truth in my own freefall

Great Big Ocean

.Reading time 1 minute.
I thought the great big ocean would find me
But it’s always been just the tide
Counting the beats of my step 
To the heart that keeps me alive
And the summers in the city
Where I counted my blessing
He asked me if I was serious
I said shur I’m only messing
And the wild within me got unlocked
Like a fabled Pandora’s box
All the crucible to fly
Is to live to know how to die
Coz we’re born with these bodies 
We don’t know how to use
Then we get attached
To something we lose
And every breath is a tear
With a fragrance of flower
But people are reckless 
When they have power
And moan and shine and wither and break
Then tell you they do it for your sake
But it could never tally up
Not when you call it love
And I had a bite of the unconditional 
Now I move and walk and it’s not volitional 
Coz she spilt the beans on me
Now every secret’s flying free
And a demolishment has been rendered
In the space my hope engendered 
It cascaded tears
Now I measure the war in years
That I’ve been through
And I blame you
For all the absent meanders 
I don’t have all the answers
But can I learn to be a little less jaded
The pain’s the same but the scars have faded
And I only give leave for a moment to be
The epitome of running free

The Line

.Reading time 1 minute.
I hear the bullet ricochet
As you utter truth
I’d say I love you
But you’re such a brute 
To give and leave and take away
All that had come to stay
With me for all of time
You say that the fault is mine
But I hear the chime
Of wind bells on the porch
I know I seem out of sorts
But it’s just dealing with the loss of you
And the trauma of what you put me through
Just to prove that you were right
You rained Heaven onto a darkened night
And I’m still living by candlelight 
Since the power cut
I don’t think I’m in a rut
It’s just no one sees me clear
And, God knows, I hold you dear
But there’s too much storm in the air
So I high tailed it outta there
And now you’re mad as hell
But I never tell
You what I really feel 
Coz I know you cannot deal
With the intense focus of my desire 
And you may be all fire
But I am wind and air
And it blew you away, me being there
And I laugh and you deny 
That I ever made you cry
But sometimes tears fall like rain
I know I’ll see you again

The Girl That Stands On Guard

.Reading time 2 minutes.
She’s got it on lock
The dark she is not
She’s stellar, she’s a star
And I wonder what you are
As we fight to keep our heads above water
Swimming in currents that aim for caught her
As we span the ocean in a gaze
I wonder how many people she’s saved
As she throws a glance like a dagger across the room
And I dunno how to work the zoom
Function on my camera
But I just tie my bandana
Red around my head
And there have been so many left dead
By the dark side of the human psyche
I keep wondering what it is that ignite me
So I can burn like a fire in the hearts of men
Is it going to happen again
Or have we turned a corner on life on earth
Is there depth to transcend the hurt 
Or will the storm come to rage once more
I knock a rap upon the door
Coz I have to be let in
I know that there’s something there in him
That can spin a dial so right
I walk by the light
In your window 
Is it a sin though
To see what’s really beating a heart
If we abdicate do we take part
In the slow drive to floor
The ground that crashes to meet us, a stór
Or can stars hold space
For us as we lay waste 
To all we’ve known
Have the people grown
Up and out of a tendency
But I feel the collective pull at me
To get me to identify
But I can’t let the children cry
For what we’ve done to them and us
Is it a mirror of broken trust
That we catch ourselves upon
We’re going down but love isn’t gone
Not yet or forever
Can we be the sky that knows the weather 
That spins a chrysalis 
As a diamond kiss
The pressure that we’ve known thus far
I feel like we can only drive this car
A certain length down the road
Has our maturity showed
As we stand up to the shelter
I close my eyes coz this is a belter

Incognito Window

.Reading time 1 minute.
Incognito window, I’m under the radar
I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar
But I know that I can make planets spin
With the love that’s inside and the peace within
And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees
There are no words for the wonder it frees
When the weight just drops
The what you are’s in the space the love’s got
And I am not a mountain but I am not hill
I can move power with the strength of will
And she never helped me out
But I guess that’s just the space in doubt
To be forgotten or held so close
Do you see through what I love the most
Or must I just let it die
Not be afraid to spill tears and cry
Over what is yet to come
And a woman takes away the man’s son
What can you do but acquiesce 
The movement’s in the way you dress
And shoulder weight like diamond mines
I’d let it go coz it’s fine
In the sunshine and the rain
I don’t think that I can do this again
So I relinquish the right to be wrong
And open heart into a song
To make it alright again
I give up on the world you spin

Echoed Through These Halls

.Reading time 1 minute.
The sound of you
Has echoed through these halls
And it’s bringing down barriers
And cavernous walls 
Until all is a grand open space
With not one instant of my time gone to waste
And I hit pause in 2011
All because the sound of Heaven 
Was just too damn real
And you’re not the boy I want to steal
Away with into the night
But you came close to it, alright
And I spill ink on the canvas I draw
I’m like the cold witch and my bones start to thaw
In the sunlight you bequeath
And I guess I’m embarrassed so I stare at my feet
But you turn my face upward with your palm
You look at me and I am calm
I’m the storm that surround
You are worth the way it resounds
And leaves me feeling like friend is ancient
I’m an artist and I try to paint it
But it never lives up to what you are
A feeble try to condense a star
Into matter and fusion
But it was just confusion
To say I don’t love you so
And I just want you to know
That you crack the glass with your smile
And I dream of you for a little while
But it is real as can be
I took the biscuit but just dip it in tea

The Long Walk

.Reading time 1 minute.
Muddy shoes walk all over my floor
As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore 
And it could be Christ the King
Or the boy with a broken wing
All I know is that the stars announce
The girl I was, the one that you denounce
As I place one foot in front of another
Never knew what it was like to have a brother
Who watches my back
Just a girl and the attack
Was launched on me
Fifteen years and I’m still not free
Of what she inflicted
And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it
It just I carry the scar that hurts
I blame you for it and what’s worse
Is that I make myself suffer for what never was
I don’t know gravity because
When I was brought down to earth
I was in open space and the dirt
Is evidence on my coat
That I met a Holy Ghost

FOMO

.Reading time 1 minute.
The fear of missing out
Haunts my sideboard
Coz nothing’s enough
I swear on the word
That I utter
Under my breath
I’m on my way
But I’m not there yet
And everything glistens
Like sunny snow
Out of my reach
But don’t you know
It’s closer than it was
And I didn’t break any laws
When I wished you down
I tore the tatters on my gown
Into the shape of a badass queen
What if this is just a dream
That is happening in consciousness
Do you trust
In the powers that be
Is it ok or will we see
What is coming down the line
There was that moment you stopped time
And I was taken by an intake of breath
It’s sharp and I cannot forget
It’s impact on my soul
I keep catching glimpses of being whole