I feel the burn of evisceration So I change the tv station And snap out of the trap As if the reason could be found on a map Why I am the way I am Nothing ever goes to plan And that’s the way it’s meant to be It took me thirty years to see That my life is not a mistake That someone on the other side made shake With the power of an earthquake In ruins I ask what I’m doing I’ve only broken words to say I am okay And I was locked in a room And told to deal with the doom On my own Self soothe while all alone But I open up and expand And take every offered hand That slips through my fingers like sand And the doctor has power to direct my fate But I don’t give in to hate Or bitterness, I just let go And feel the snow Upon my skin When I’m talking to him Telling him I am okay He looks at me like I fabricated the day When my ego went away And broke into sun Is it wrong if I say I am One With all that exists And the mists Have cleared the windshield glass I don’t need to make a thing last I can just surrender And remember It’s not what you think you know It’s what you live as you go
I can feel the brimming thunder In the sky we’re living under And the people I railed against Were the ones who were heaven sent And just wanted to aid and abet Me in the mission to forget All that had come to weigh me down So I walked around the town Looking at signs I was trying to diamond mine Searching for a holy gem And I did it once, twice, again And somehow the men Never hurt me The danger seemed to just skirt me By degrees Til I fell to my knees And begged the wonder out thieves Help to steal away all that I believe And they were only too happy to comply And I thought I would die Under the weight of their heavy handed slap I crumpled up the map And took a picture in the garden of Dean Swift So looking back would be a gift But I could only see clarity Not the mental illness they made of me Searching for some hidden pain Well I looked again and again But I could never find Evidence that I was out of my mind For seeing love in every shape and form And loving bodies while they’re warm And vital and young and free Shit, is that guy staring at me But anyway I’m letting sleeping dogs lie Let go of the merely getting by On what I think I know My sisters on the branch they bow In the aching powder they blow Into my face like I’m in the know And I’m annexed into a space Where I only see your face Smiling at me I was out the door when they set me free
The oppressive class Think that their power will always last And they’re always doing it for a reason Til their punishment is open season And the subordinates get even With people they don’t want to be believing And you could say that kindness kills And good intentions and foreign wills Mask the wound as the blood spills Out onto my shirt It may have hurt When they struck me down But I’m not giving up on this down And it is for my own health They say they must steal my wealth From me But there is something that will always be free In the green, green grass of home There is something that you have never known As you paint a beach of waifs But I am not trying to escape The cup that’s been handed to me I’m just trying to reflect the free In the prism that casts it’s hues And he people who pay their dues In the mindfulness class It is not part of the past But of the Now And I know you will realise somehow What I’ve been trying to express In my state of undress As I spell it out in monotones What I couldn’t hide from iPhones As they responded to my touch And scared away what I loved so much Into the fold of open season Have you ever loved someone without reason?
Oh, the weather brought in Stephen And I was weary with all of the leaving Behind that I had done Searching for the only one And they say that awakening can land You in a state where you’re under command And out of the control you think you know There’s nowhere it leads that I will not go And I found myself in a psych clinic I kept trying to explain why I shouldn’t be in it But they brush past my honesty like it was lies Pinned up a frame over my eyes To tell me who they think I am But I constantly fall outside the plan And the time flowed past me like sand Rough and brittle with the misunderstand Til I met a common heart And he made my pain look like art With his smile and his self conscious laugh I was doing yoga when I stretched my calf And I wanted to explain just what was in my mind Flexible around the river bend And why do I stand for this shit Oh, the ocean I flow with Had me by decree Down on one knee Proposing a new direction Standing outside natural selection Into a reverberate that would sound The corridors I walked around In monuments to my fear But there was always someone near And I was shaking with the times Am I stepping on land mines Or is everywhere I place my tread Safely like they never said And it’s hard to reconcile That place with my secret smile The one that knows no bounds I used to listen for the sounds That would set me free I am okay, but hey, that’s just me!
In a place where the cold seems waiting Left in love, don’t give way to hating As the scenery revolve And everything is a problem to solve As you, ashen faced, stare at me And I avoid your gaze coz I know we’ll be Always an eternity Forever lapping like the sea Against the shore Could you wish for more You open up like a closed door
They gave me some lemons And they were sour But I don’t need to wait Until the eleventh hour To make a change All is mind and rearrange The terraces of fear into love And it fits me like a glove Though I’ve been in the ring with Cassius Clay He taught me to get up after, okay Like I’m some kind of Jedi knight Living for the light As it breaks a new dawn Over all I thought was gone And they held me in a state But I’m not gonna wait To be all I am Everything’s in the plan Of God to be reborn And even in the storm I could find a man to say Everything is okay In eyes, on lock, in the bay And I’m holding back the laughter Because this is such a beautiful disaster And for all intents and purposes I’m the chosen one You don’t have to be a son To be a holy child Oh, the open air and running wild Into fields that are free There is so much more to me Than any of them can see And is St. Pat’s history I left it with my dignity Somewhere among the stars Why did I keep chasing cars Around dean swift Thinking the guys just want a shift As Emmet holds my gaze If he was a hero I bet he’d save Me with his honest and true For a moment I relied on you Let my weight rest on your shoulder No more Lara and her boulder To run from It’s like the fear is gone When you set the scene I’ll remember you when the dream Comes true A smile, and I wink at you
He interjects and it’s circumspect Coz how could I attenuate Any of this love with hate And sure he’s a nice man But he only listens when he thinks you can Find a way to follow the line He’s wasting my space like he’s wasting my time And I’ve gotta grow up and be The writer of a new destiny Don’t have time for this pity lark And as I’m walking through the park I feel one with the grass If this is psychosis I hope it last Coz you’ve got a label But you cannot see Over the rim of your spectacle As you look at me And maybe a kundalini and the crown Might be the reason why I drown In a sea of ocean vast The emptiness and fullness pass Til I’m all or nothing but down for this And I’m in love with someone I only kiss Through the bars of Orion I don’t know, it just feels like flying Through somewhere where gravity Obeys the rules of destiny And let’s me lift off from where I am I just walk without a plan And It leads me where It’s going I look outside and the Sun is snowing
It was years
Since I stopped believing
I opened the door
And along came Stephen
He reminded me
With his casual eyes
That even a stranger
Can see through disguise
And all of the advances
I couldn't stop making
Were held in suspense
With the breath I was taking
And it was ancient
Yes it was old
But this was a story
That's never been told
That's always been waiting
In the wings
I know it's a bird
Because, my Lord, it sings
And reverberates
Without any doubt
Can I trust the words
That pour from my mouth
And herald a new dawn
One that's bursting forth
And the river is free
Though it runs its course
And brings it back
To rain in the sky
I wonder do you
Know it's a lie
When I look away
From your brief glance
It was heaven
It was happenstance
It was a moment
And it was soul
He blinked his eyes
And the waves roll
Am I wearing
Malas to the Supreme
Waking up
Though I'm still in a dream
And is it Grace
All of the falling apart
I can't deny
That I've got heart
And are my assumptions
To the contrary unfounded
Was it through open fields
I bounded
And I can feel it lift
Here or there
The tumbling structures
That I wear
And do we build God
Or is he real
And is realisation
More than just what I feel
The Poetry Book 