The Liberation

Hiding part of myself
Had me holding onto mental health
As the only way to steady the ground
As it shakes to the sound
Of white noise and light
I’m one of the boys and I’m alright
As I take a sip of a drink
Then throw the rest of it down the sink
Coz I want to keep my nerves
As something that serves
Me instead of fighting a war
Coz both sides lose what the winnings for
As the turmoil draws you in
Ducks in a row like lines of sin
And the winter seems to last forever
But you haven’t seen the last of this endeavour
As I grapple with the ghost that throws me down
I’m in the ring and out of town
As they all call my name
I say goodbye to the chains of shame

The Future In The Night

Depression cannot stifle this 
Pain won’t call it quits
It stands and it walks
It lays down or sits
But this moving beast
I call my own
Is a kaleidoscope
Of light that’s thrown
Brash across the windowpane
And all the suffering is in vain
Because it cannot put out the light
Not even in the darkest night
Not even in the furthest blue
I still see colour in you
And you may note the degree
But it wasn’t earned by me
It fell like papers from my hand
An ocean in a grain of sand
That is roaring with the sea
You look up and it’s just me
But more and further do I be
Let’s rewrite future history

The Thaw

They’re selling an American Dream
But I’m walking on a moonbeam
As it guides my way home
And tells me I’m not alone
As I open out into the vast expanse
Perceive the space as the molecules dance
To make up the shape of me
The frame of what is memory
Held together by a subtle flaw
I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw

Ending My Enmity

I’m ending the fight I have with the stars
Running through fields like I’m chasing cars
And the sound of you is on the breeze
Like a younger me the tree frees
As I’m walking through the columns and rows
Letting go of the loss of anything goes
And finding my steadfast in the sight
Of everything in the firelight
The full force of the machine hit me across the skull
And I’ve skin as thin as cotton wool
As I try to find the deep reverb
To silence noise with a word

In Another Life

In another life 
We’d be a two by two
And I wouldn’t have lost in love
When I tried for you
And it’s all good
I’ll get by
I’ll love again
I don’t need to try
It’s just you
Got under my skin
And I swore I’d never
Be that way with him
But I let myself down
Badly, it seems
I kidded myself
Into the man of my dreams
And I must have been such a joke
The tiger you casually poke
With a furnace roar in her soul
But unsteady as a newborn foal
Do you think you could give me a break
But you take and take and take
And I let it all go on the breeze
Please, get up off your knees
I’m not down to have you beg
Could you grow up instead
Coz we’re two equals by the door
And I found you on the shore
Washed up from a shipwreck
When you use the f word is it feck
Cause I’m looking at the deck
And it’s still slanted yet
Are you bootstrap’s child
I’m still a little wild
And roll with the ocean
You are all emotion

The Mysterious Woman Within My Soul

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There's a mysterious woman in my soul 
And she doesn't care how the waves may roll
She comes in nice and easy
Like a summer sea, warm and breezy
And though I try to hide her away
She comes up bubbling with what she wants to say
To decry the auspices of power
Yet not to be weak nor tremble and cower
She shines like the light that comes from the sun
But is soft as the silver moon when it is young
And all the stories you can tell yourself
Are just suppressing the abundant wealth
That grows in fertile ground in the psyche
We tremble with trouble but I dunno, might we
Ever fail to ask the question
Are we living on mere suggestion
To avoid the point we make
I offer it up for God's sake
So that He might make repair
To all that's in need of some care
And I do not forget the fallow fields
Or the way the grass grows as it yields
To a wind of superior heights
Wash me away in the firelight

The Calm Amid The Storm

There’s a blizzard brewing
There’s a storm atremble
And things are beyond
What they used to resemble
As the new earth is birthed
Into consciousness
Don’t go saying
It doesn’t exist
Just close your eyes
And feel the breeze
Forgiving you
Get up off your knees
And stand firm
Stand strong, stand true
As the winds are howling
All around you
Make your stance
On a solid foundation
It’s a peaceful sort of
Education
As you trust the silence
To ever be
Whispering words
Of eternity
In the midnight, in the dawn
At the close of day
I just have this feeling
That it’s all okay
That we’re being taken care of
No matter what it seems
Don’t trust in the
Thin fabric of dreams
But on the rock
Where you plant your foot
Let the rain wash away
What you’re afraid of

The Tough Girl Image

I keep it all on lock
But I can never be what I am not
I click my tongue
I’m impervious and I am young
Til the facade cracks
And I’m all lost in I can’t have you backs
As the days age
And I spill ink upon a page
Or burn a little sage
Oh, to demonstrate what I feel is true
Lost in a dream of me and you
Or us and them
I run the film clip all over again
When I stride through halls
Now I renovate and knock down walls
Do you love me true
Coz I found myself with all of you
And I can let the refrain
Cancel out the years of pain
Why do I hold on
To what is already gone
And deny what’s here
The water in the lake is crystal clear
As it reflects the sky
Why in the world must everything die
Only to be reborn
I was the earth outside of the storm
The solid ground
As the wind twists the air into sound
It reverberates
Like a glacier that equates
Ice with movement, don’t you know
But there are places it can’t go
As it meets the sea
I’m more than what appears of me


Photo by Pietra Schwarzler on Unsplash.com

The Rain and the Sky

Max on Unsplash.com
Fighting with the wilderness 
Fighting with the rain
I can feel the pain
Come at me again
And it’s wearing down the structures
Of the egoic mind
Until no one
Is left behind
And I clamber over bricks
I clamber over walls
I get lost in love
And free for all’s
Till it finally comes back
To where it started
The moment Truth
Was imparted
The moment it shone
From the sky
And I realized
I never die
Only transform
From one state to another
Or beyond them both
The witness is lover
To all that unfolds
Gently, unique
There’s a power there
I could never speak
Only pay tribute
And testament to
It resides in the heart
Of both me and you

Love

I love so much
I feel I will burst
This feeling courses
Through the very worst

Through all of the liking
And ticking the box
I find I am open
Without any locks

And it just moves its own way
In a flow, in a beat
And I find I am standing 
On my own two feet

As I build on foundations
Solid as a rock
Am I okay? 
Well, is the sun hot

Just like my heart
In rhythms it's own 
I may not be adult
But I am grown

Wings

I believe in the sky
To conquer the weather
And there are ways
To see through forever
To make it one
Under the rain
Say you'll never go back
To that place again
But you find the door
Ready to be knocked
You don't try the handle
Coz you know it is locked
But you hope and have faith
Trust and believe
In the strength you
Have always found underneath
To sail your ship
Once more through the storm
You can't see the sun
But still it is warm 
And you know and you'll be
You'll love and create
Til you open your eyes
And walk out of that state
And find the dawn
That follows dusk
It doesn't take much
Just a little trust 
As you resolve and know
Revolve and be 
In all of this
Your wings are free

My Share of the Deal

Am I misunderstood
There was a time
They all thought I was good
And had trophies lined up
For me to wear
I stand up 
And the fabric tear
Til I'm reeling in dreams
Colossal and huge
It's like I asked for rain
And there came a deluge
To bucket down
On top of me
But fuck it, it's 
All I got to be
And there's no point complaining
About my share of the deal 
Oceans are weather
And it's the way that I feel 
To finally come home
To who I am 
I move in life
Without a plan

Inverted Commas

om

If you want to stay the same
Then blame
If you want to grow then listen
And watch the dew drops glisten
On the snow drops in the garden you grew
You will become as good as new
And I will hold your hand
As you effortlessly expand
Yes I will rise in strength
To fill the gap when you went
I did not understand
Sometimes I have to be the man
And sometimes I am strong
In the ways I thought that I was wrong
Sometimes I’m right
And have power to ignite
A holy fury burning power
In the auspices of a tower
That I stand alone
I can be your home

Kissing the Sky

Funny feeling that though he may not want me I am still okay
And that I can survive on the love of every day
From the plants, from the trees and nonetheless from him
For though he may deny it I know it beats within
In blood and in veins that are solid gold
But so are mine I see, though I have not been told
To look and revolutionise the vision of my palms
I am the lake, the ocean and these are my calms
No enforced stability, no discipline held high
Just the truth of a being that knows something that can’t die
And sees it in the rushing movement of the leaves
All the world is heaven to one who needs nothing to believe
And smile to myself, in a secret, silver fold
I never knew the universe was there for me to hold
In its peril and its fantasy, it’s motion and the tide
I am the evidence of the thing you’ve never tried
So sincerely honest in the feelings that maintain
That there lies beneath a sunlight that will overcome the pain

Man in Black

Depression takes everything you have, it’s a lot like death
And when it hits you you do not forget
Are forever changed, forever moved
And, dare I may say it, greatly improved
So can I be a spokesperson for the darkness within
It’s not all bad though I didn’t tell him
And I am sunlit because I know
night
Even more so than that, I know something is right
Cause they are both just opposing sides of a coin
Lesser and greater eventually join
Into one river that leads to the sea
I am so proud of who I’ve come to be
I feel mountainous when speaking to you
When you try to help me to talk it through
I just smile at your innocentness
To think you could undo the cause of my distress
Like you could unmake the blue of the sky
Like you could raise eyes and make them un-die
But what is seen can never be taken back
So for now, I’ll be the man in black
Til all of the colours bleed into the sink
I will be the absence that makes you think
And skip a beat when you see my peace
Fearless in the face of what will decease
Because this world is just building on snow
I am of another and that’s where I go
So don’t pity the rook that sits in the tree
Wild things have wings and know how to be free
Accepting their fate on the breeze as it comes
It called for me and I have succumbed
Don’t worry your mind into the grey
I was born to be this way
No, there’s nothing wrong as far as I can see
So thank you but I’ll pass on what you offer me
And you may never understand
But there’s a design consciousness has planned
I have grown to compassionately embrace
The canvas collection fear will deface
But love will multiply whatever you give her
You can’t blame the rocks for shaping the river