Commonplace Understandings

I don’t know what we were
But I know I don’t wanna fight with her
But I feel her get my back up
When I offer her love
And she slaps my hand
Like the hourglass isn’t pouring sand
And all of us into the ocean
Why are you afraid to show emotion
Is it just me
Or is it the dragon that was set free
Two decades ago
And somewhere amidst the snow
The annals of us are preserved
I try to keep my cool but I am unnerved
By the sheer lack of the sea
In the meadows that lap against me
And I can’t make it better and I can’t mend
What she never broke but doesn’t intend
To rectify
There is a part of us that can never die
And a part that does day by day
I wonder why she is that way
And the reason seems clear
But she doesn’t know how I hold her dear
And is it my lot to be unknown
And only have my true colours shown
When a stranger just walks into my days
And tells me I’m free in so many ways
And he thinks I hate him, I can hear him sigh
But the mists move the mountains and I cry
Out with the fear of it
But he’s alcohol and I take a sip
And find myself head of heels
Like I’m lost on instagram reels
Just trying to find my source
I am not a child of divorce
But I know the fracture when the world splits
Or the chasm that opens when death hits
You hard in the gut
And someone you love things you’re in a rut
But I would never leave the flowerbed
Above the grave that marks your head
So I’ll just let you know
That I was not born to let go

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Melting Brokenness

My heart is touched
By the ones I love so much
And I can’t bear the loss
Bearing the heavy weight of cost
Of all this time
And everything that’s mine
Will one day belong to the sky
We do not know the hour we die
Or the day or the year
All I know is that a tear
Slides down my face
When something goes to waste
Because it was not said
And it pounds in my head
As I’m lying in bed
Hoping to stay warm
And all form
Is permeable to
The water that just wears through
Our steady soul
And the waves roll
Over the Burren floor
It was once at the bottom of the ocean and what’s more
It’s solidity
Is only apparent when it’s taken from me
To go sliding away
I close my eyes to the day
And embrace the night
Have people ask; “are you alright?”
And yes I am, but no I’m not
Like asking a candle is it hot
As it slowly melts
This is made to be felt
As it sits in my chest
And holds the people I love the best
In the Kilglass sun
What if everything is the One

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Beautiful Disaster

I found beauty in the trauma
And the flora and fauna
Were hidden from me
In the dark forest of history
And she enclosed me with a snare
It was almost as if I wasn’t there
When she sent the splinter into my side
Did she really not want me to be alive
Because she did her best to trump the card
Did she realise she made things so very hard
And I was just a teen
But I wanted to exit the dream
By any ways and means
And I’m sewing a dress but the seams
Keep busting and they won’t fit
And there are no boys I want to hit
On anymore
The dark expanse was the door
Into a greater purveyance
And the conveyance
Was suffering and pain
Til I opened my arms to the rain
And instead of getting wet
A sun broke that I cannot forget
In my darkest night
I became the light
Of the only and ever one
If you feel you are coming undone
Then you are on the right track
And somehow I cannot go back
To what I was
I know this because
I have tried
And I hide
My new found skin
With everyone except with him
He just touched me paper thin
And I realised destiny was a sin
I long to make with his touch
And I love him so very much
Though he may never know
I thought he should so I let the bird go
And fly across the sea
To where he lay in grey mystery
Just pondering a solace
But it was a volatile
Explosion in the moment of us
And though it hurt I still trust
In the infinity that we are
If you burn then let that star
Combust in its own atmosphere
That’s how you know that God is near

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The Antecedent

The antecedent knows its own role 
And I lie in the expanse of my own soul
As the bombs go off
Or another person coughs
As, I, awake in my bed
Wonder what they would have said
If they’d have known
What was going down
And I may visit the bay again
Just don’t say when
Because it is a futile ploy
When I see my stars in a boy
As he shines from afar
He is my favourite star
In the darkness of outer space
I wonder if all these years have gone to waste
Since I told him I love him
And I would never hold myself above him
But I feel like I was reduced
For the receipts I couldn’t produce
So I decided to write and write
Even if it is sometimes shite
Trying to get it on lock
I don’t want to be something that I’m not
But when I take a pill
I swear I never will
Be all I claim I am
It’s like Kilglass winning Sam
Impossible but still a dream
Like me and the queen
Inside my riverbed heart
Blue and red from the start
Do I use the pain to make art
And the futility to show that the taking part
Is the best part of the win
I just hope I get to be with him
Somehow, someday
Anyway
Thanks for listening
Oh, look my teardrop’s glistening

It’s Not My Fault

I watch it fly into the sky
And, you know, everyone cry
But not everyone wakes while they live
It happens when you forgive
That girl who took a lightning strike
And aimed it at me but, like,
I turn it into some kind of illumination
And now every tv station
Plays my tune
Like I’m the only one in the room
And I meet someone I would like
To meet in the dead in the night
Sneaking out into the grass
I didn’t think our love would last
But it’s been fifteen years
And we’ve weathered rain clouds emptied of tears
As they fall on us
And I trust
Him to do just what he craves
But he’s the Superman who saves
Me from the boring grey
He is like a sun ray
That sets all the colours a throb
And I give him what he wants to rob
From me
And dignity
Won’t keep this secret quiet
It’s always been a riot
In that avenue
And his blue
Offsets my red
Til we’re white light in bed
Making one with the serene
This is beyond the dream
And they say twin flames reside
In the place where duality hides
Its face from something so pure
He’s what I bank on and I know for sure
That we’ll always be eternal prose
And he might be the one who chose
Me, but on my side
I’m just glad he’s alive
In this incarnation
And my education
Taught me to always say no
But with him I’m like, let’s go
And get on with the show
You claim to make
But I’ll be no oven to bake
Some buns for the eating
I gotta be the one you’re keeping
For forever in a sigh
Our love will never die

Go Back Into Your Cave

It whispers “go back into your cave”
Because there are people to save
And I can’t do it being thin
Or just kicking the can with him
Til my day arises
And everything is full of suprises
Most of them bad as hell
As people wish you well
Then stab you in the back
Smile right before they attack
I gave my heart to her
And she shattered everything we were
And I won’t go into details but
She was the bridge my fever cut
Like a knife right through the grass
And the man just wants ass
To smack so he can be the king
He laughed at me so I took a swing
And knocked his block right off
Then Susanna got a cough
And it was open season
I ran and ran without reason
I got lost in the ocean
I swam in a sea of emotion
And tried to get away
From the grand sway
As it unleashes hell on me
To be the dragon set free
Like some Chinese proclamation
As they worship my exclamation
Of wonder in the winsome lost
I speak because I am the boss

Rain Dance

There where I was I stood defenceless
Out in the open plain
And she brought the rain dance again and again
And it’s not the men
It’s the love I bear
For those who live to tear
The fabric of what we are
For the sake of a star
That will never rise
In our constellation
I’m suddenly at Longford train station
Waiting for someone to arrive
And I realise you are alive
As you were
And you’re not with her
You’re standing alone
Looking at your phone
And I’m sitting in my car
Just staring at the place where you are
But I look away
Because I cannot say
What I will buy
If I could only try
With the money I have
And the feeling bad
Was a season
Without reason
I abridge
At least God let you live
For all these years
And stemmed my tears
In the flow
I didn’t realise you loved me, you know

What Wants To Come Through

I sit and wait for what wants to come through
But it only ever speaks of you
And what we are
Some far distant star
Shines on us both
And the coach
We took to the sea
Set the both of us free
You can trust me
I will be here
Always, for you, dear
Though you may not see me in the leaves
You don’t need to believe
Just trust and open to what is
And I know that she is his
But I welcome her care and her devotion
I can feel it in his emotion
As he speaks to me
And eternity
Is on his breath
But, still, he does not forget
Because almost never crossed the line
And we are us for all of time
In every winter that the trees shake
I will be there and when you wake
You will see my subtle stance
I’ll love you always in this dance

The Empath

The empath walks and she believes
In everything she finds upon her sleeves
To be hers
But all the wars
That people fight
In their own candlelight
Are open season
And she finds the reason
To live
And forgive
The girl that broke her heart
And left her in the darkest dark
In the age of fourteen
There were nights I couldn’t dream
At all
And every wall
I ever faced
Was somehow out of place
In this vast open space
Like stars in the darkness of the case
We are all held within
And the notion of sin
Is archaic and grey
And I don’t believe in it anyway
As I make my First Confession
I sit in the pews wondering what expression
Of grief I should portray
Because I cannot find the way
To see evil inside of myself
Everything is ancient and on the shelf
And I take it down and dust off
The trust that all is not lost
As dawn breaks and I realise
That I am more open skies
Than I ever was land
I see you there and I take your hand
And lift you up
And if I ever thought I knew love
It was this moment here
You are my eternal, dear

The Machinations

The machinations work 
And they hurt
As I make myself small
To appeal to you all
And it’s not because I hold a grudge
That I trudge through all this sludge
Into the mists of time
And my rhyme
Gets relegated
Into something somebody stated
One time in the hall
I hold myself back and the freefall
Is more than I can bear
And I tear
In the fabric rush
And everything I seem to touch
Turns to ash
And I can’t get it back
Anymore than I ever could
And the wood
Is the only place I can find peace
From the threat of the decease
As it throws patterns on the wall
And it’s not part of me at all
Anymore
Because that closed door
Opened into a new sky
And I realised I could never die

The Red Haired Devil

There’s something in me
That doesn’t want to see the light of day
I’m surrounded
And they ask if I’m okay
And they offer pills
And they offer potions
Coz I can’t handle
These emotions
And I slap their hands away
But I know what they’re gonna say
“You’re just not well
And we know you’re going through hell
So take these, please”
And I crave a just release
So I take their ardent pleas
Like Barry on his knees
Professing to that woman
And I felt like stunning
Them all with a declaration
Of a lion school education
But they wouldn’t get it anyway
So I draw on the wall, okay
And they didn’t paint it over til
A year later and I will
See it out of the corner of my eye
And someone I love die
So I spiral out of control
Let the keening take my soul
As I scream and rail
Against the part of me that’s not for sale
So I bite the bullet they hand to me
Shoot me like it’s done for free
And I’m paralysed by indecision
And I was always good at revision
So I study the lines
And I try not to touch ‘em a thousand times
But I’m always met with the same reflection
In the window of my confession
In front of a nurse I love
He laughs and I look above
At the Heavenly Light
He emanated and, alright
It’s not the done thing
But I don’t want a ring
Just a way out
He smiles what I’m all about


Photo Credit: Omid Armin on Unsplash.com

Unspeakable Mystery

If there’s a loving God why did he create hell
Is it excommunication or just not knowing you well
Coz I see you on the verge of every tip I love to talk
Fascinated in my mind by the way that you walk
As if those two shoulders hold some kind of weight
I can see them start to buckle under heavy fate
So I reach out and grab a hand
We lock eyes; you’ll be grand
And I would die and sacrifice a thousand times
Just to pen you poetry that fit with your rhymes
And the darkness cascades
But you’re the one that it saves
For me
I love you so much more, I’m free
With the steady beam of headlight gaze
Did you deepen the hue or did I just colour the page
The shade of blue you are to me
Some unspeakable mystery
That blurs all the lines between good and okay
It’s not in what he does or does not say
It’s the vulnerability and the honest truth
The softness I felt in my youth
To hold your hand
And sit beside your slipping sand
Til the hourglass crack
Now I want you back
For eternity
I scrawl in my diary
A name that I’ll keep
Wake, brother bear, it’s no time for sleep

The Blades Of Grass

All the people who suffer
And the winter that loves her
I trudged through the snow
I must go through this coz I cannot let go
And the winds howled, the dark cascaded
Am I too young to be this jaded
Create a space, the Lord said
Or is this just a voice I hear in my head
But don’t we all
In the year of the freefall
Into open air
But there’s no ground to pull your hair
And tell you you’re not good enough
It’s pure unadulterated love
That catches your skin
When you trust in Him
And see
That the blades of grass hold eternity
In their silky green skin
And how much more are you loved within
In the true home
You are never alone
You must come to know
Something holds you and will not let go

The Aura Of Death

Does all of humanity live within the sphere 
Of a death close enough that it’s ever near
And we may get a hundred years or so
Or we might not, you just never know
And I walk within the fear
Just so it becomes clear
That the immortal in the form
Is that which was never born
And is out of reach
Of the end that they teach
Is the conclusion of life on earth
And it might hurt
To fall but get back up
I am holding you, love
And there’s nowhere a cloud can’t go
It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t share what I know
Coz I was fourteen and I writhe
The cumulation of being alive
Came crashing down
And I felt I would drown
In the ocean of it all
When suddenly the brick wall
Just fell to the floor
And I adore
What got back up
You could call it love
The living breathing apparition
Of what happens when fission
Pulls itself back together
And heals the wound
The room
Faded from view
But you
Never did
And it’s worth a couple quid
Just to say
That I am okay
Come what may
In the fray
Of the life we know
I held on then It let go

Benjamin’s Blues

The mountain sure seemed high til I climbed it
They’d tell you why but I wouldn’t mind it
And I just kick out from the shore
I couldn’t tell you which I loved more
The going away or the coming back
Do you really know something til you’ve felt it’s lack
And I was wandering in a cavalcade
When I just happened upon your shade
And it let me in
I was warm when I was with him
As we both pause at the same time
And he questions my rhyme
I say it’s funny and he laughs
I let him in because he asks
So genially and off the cuff
Five minutes in and I know love
Has me by the lapel
But I think it’s too soon to tell
Him what I have on sheets
Under cover and the streets
Reminded me of the time I was tripping
I hold the frame but the picture’s slipping
And the more I try to steady the ship
The more I can sense an eclipse
Coming on
Now the reference is gone
And I’m trying to even keel
But the way I feel
Just tells me to be honest
But I wouldn’t count on it
And Benjamin is a sure shade of blue
I let it go and I trusted you

Fear To The Touch

You could be dead and I wouldn’t know
Does the pain start to show
As I mourn your form
So cold where it used to be warm
And I remember kissing the forehead
Of my Grandad in the coffin
It was like ice
And the shock
Made my soul splice
Into multiple parts
How do you move with a broken heart
And the beat tries to keep you steady
But it stutters and I wasn’t ready
To commit my life to a mortal thing
Coz this bird with broken wing
Can’t fly
And you could die
And I would shatter like a pane of glass
But somehow in the mists something last
And keeps me walking to your door
Leaving notes for someone I adore
So he might know
That, though it doesn’t show
I hold him close to my breast
Calamity and the rest
Can’t shake the ground I know
I watched you change and grow
From a boy to a man
Through facebook coz I can
And it may track my every move
But I’ve nothing left to prove
Except to leave my open hands
There for the slipping sands
That are the years of us
I shake but I trust

The First Kiss

The love pulses in my veins
And I can’t get enough of refrains
Even as it causes me pain
I do it again and again and again
I love too much to be let go
I love you and I hope you know
Coz it burns like a holy fire
It hurts but it takes me higher
Could this be the Spirit nothing can contain
Like clouds fail to hold the rain
When they are too full and heavy
And I was born ready
Ready for this
Could forever be my first kiss

So Close It’s Hot

What is God if not a man
And I can’t seem to understand
The love I feel
When the mountain kneel
At the foot of you
I want you too
It’s not one sided at all
I’m standing behind the waterfall
As it shields the shimmer
And I think we’re onto a winner
As you laugh and mess my hair
I remember coz I was there
And I was so much younger then
But so we’re you and again
I play the tune that resonates
Could we call the Ball our dates
As the Vengaboys play
And Liosa is not okay
So I exit the crowd with her
And I was loving what we were
As you followed us out
And all of my self doubt
Falls at the sight of your grasp
On all that is made to last

The Fleeting Pull

The fleeting pull
of the cataclysmic
Beckons me with all its might
And I feel set alight
By a passion I can barely contain
Oh, let the rain
In all the might, it pours
And, he, the one my heart adores
Just strides into a room
As it is pouring doom
And announces
What the will of all thing denounces
That there is life in the old dog yet
I work the bog and I forget
What all this rendering timber will do
In a hundred lifetimes I’d still choose you

Midwifery

I’ve done the math, like, a thousand times 
And it told me I can’t find it in any of my rhymes
But it’s still pushes me to let the words go
Some kind of childbirth I’ll never know
As we go into the throws of labour
Could you do me a favor
And stop throwing empty words
Against the wall of already been heard
And it’s a tired tale
Told by those who are up for sale
But I’m not one to barter a trade
Throwing light in the shade
That protects your skin
Do you think I should let him in?

Sexy Motherfucker

Sexy motherfucker up on the stage
I put pen to paper and ruin the page
With all that I yearn for in the night
You’re one kind of trauma I don’t have to fight
As you sing with your heart and soul
And I feel the ache in the place I am not whole
In the summer of a winter’s glen
Will this happen to me again
If I don’t swim in ocean water
Trying to be a good daughter
And adhere to the lines
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times
Skiing down the hill
Against the force of the brutal will
That seems to hold us all at bay
And it is not okay
Just to swim in that sea
Is it that you’re talking to me
When you commit me to a room
And I become familiar with the realm of doom
As it beats on my door
Telling me it wants me more
Than any earthly thing could contain
The paint is stripped by acid rain
As it pours down in sheets
The car is ruined and the sheep bleets

The Sky Pouring Ocean

Why do I feel the ultimate pain
When the girl is making it rain
And it comes down in a sea of screams
Waking people from their dreams
And could it be grace that I
Was willing to die
For what I believe
It’s an ocean that I leave
Behind when I set out on my way
And you can’t trust what people say
You watch what they do
And I am staring at you
For an eon forever
As if you could be a hopeful endeavor

One World Community

Holding space for war torn regions
With the strength of prayer
So they know that love is there
And the fighters on the extreme
Are only caught up in the dream
Never knowing what they do
But what would you do if it was you
And if you had the power to make change
Would you think it a bit strange
That some people resist
There’s nobody on my list
Coz I have let go of enmity
But I stay vigilant coz integrity
Means being aware that it could come back
The ego hiding in the lack

Big Fish

I look at the big fish
Thinking he's such a dish
But he's only catching flies
In the interval between the birth that dies
And yet I can sense even in him
A light that shines within
And the dark is threatening summer
So I switch off the lights and hear that drummer
That calls to me to speak my mind
Share my soul and my life in kind 
And I somehow know that this will come true
Because I have ultimate faith in you
To be and bring all I have to know 
I hold on to let go
Of what is not real or true
But the beef with this is that I pay my due 
A hundred times over in advance
And everyone is in a sort of trance
I click my fingers and 
Lose sight of an hourglass worth of sand 
But time is nothing new
Just the force of gravity working on you
As your skin folds down
And slowly sinks into the ground 
And you call that the end
I call it another friend
That just shows you that the permanent 
Is not held in the thing that went
But in the eternal, immutable soul
I spin the hands on the clock and fold 

Even If I Could

There were days I wanted to
As I stumbled down the hall
Keep my head up
When I feel like I’m gonna fall
Or drown under it all
And they say the words and they echo
But they can’t get me to let go
Of what keeps me straight
I tell the truth, they say to wait
And this secret eats me up
When I know it’s born of love
Brimming full of a Sunday sun
Like God is the only one
Who could ever know
What it is I can’t let show
Coz it’s dark and crazy and gets me locked up
It’s as though I know I must drink from this cup
And we all die
And cry
Behind closed doors
Or not at all
I wonder which is worse in my own freefall
And the darkness came one sudden night
Some kind of fire to ignite
In a vacuum empty
And it wasn’t until I was twenty
That I realized
Beyond the clouds are blue skies
And somewhere in the midst of all the hate
Is food on my dinner plate
And a feast at the table
Lift your head if you’re able
Coz few are those who could do it for ya
So don’t rely on the dictum, do ya
Find that sweet source beneath the pain
There’s a place beyond the rain
And when you’re soaked through and through
You wake up to the reality, don’t you?

The Hidden Dark

Running from the dark wolf in my closet
That wasn’t a sin now was it
Coz I’ve been recounting tales
Since I was knee high
And everything that lives seems to die
And I don’t know why
So I fight and I toil
And I break and I boil
Coz there are atrocities
In the human endeavor
And I’ve always been seduced
By the promise of forever
Coz it’s bulletproof
And no matter how aloof
She is I know
There’s part of us that don’t let go
In the years we grow
Up and out
And our self doubt
In a mountain aware
I love the feeling of you being there

All The Burning Embers

All of the burning embers
No one really remembers
Who you used to be
It’s like the fountain that you see
In the ocean that grows within
They’re obsessed with the notion of sin
And I’ve outgrown the domain
That only seems to inflict pain
On the monster that abides
The one your revolution hides
Beneath the snow of an avalanche
Were you released in the first tranche
Of saviours to keep the day
Working in its own way
And the sudden scar
Is a wildebeest to your open heart
The one you wear on your sleeve
Do you expect me to just believe
In the brand you sell
I’m in the jungle but I wish you well

In Separate Spheres

The fire’s alight with every fuse that it burns 
And I just fall in love as the sun burns
On the axis of you
What the hell am I supposed to do
With all these feelings I’ve got
That I think time forgot
In the aching I feel
And was that time real
When we hopped a scotch
And I pulled into your parking lot
To pick you up
They say a hand to a glove
Is all that you need
But you made me bleed
On January 21st
I didn’t let on when it hurt
And you took up with her
I just watched without a word
And let on I didn’t care
You ran a hand through your hair
But I was there
And I still am
Guess that wasn’t part of your plan
To keep your guard dog lover throughout the years
I’d silence waves like I do your fears
Kiss you on the crest
And find the man that knows me best

Trauma And Its Evidence

https://youtu.be/zlsEbeX8IG8

Do I break the lid on categorical pain
That seems to be as seasonal as rain
And some people walk through a waterfall
But they don’t seem to get wet at all
And I climbed up mountains and I ran down valleys
Befriended enemies and demonized allies
But it never got me away
From what I quintessentially say
And as a baby I cried a lot
But what was it that time forgot
My first day of school
Or when that girl broke the golden rule
Watched my reflection in another’s eyes
Or felt the pain when somebody dies
Like my skin is being ripped from my bones
Or the silence when I’m all alone
Feels so much like peace
When the noise cease
And you can’t erase the childhood you own
The good, the bad, before the iPhone
That we didn’t post
Or the narcissism when that person ghost
Me over something I didn’t say
So I let her walk away
Took it out on a guy
Who was the answer and the reason why
The stars shone like diamonds in his eyes
He suddenly lit up the night skies
And the river runs deep and true
I forgot about loss the moment that you
Held my hand, they were all asleep
And is it just like a trinket I keep
Like so many others
And the cloud smothers
Me with its love
Though I still look above
For a being I can’t find
I didn’t really go out of my mind
I just had to get away
And what people say
Claws at me
But the thaw reaches deep and sets me free
From the aching of time
A moment, nothing, and then It was mine

Pissed Off

I'm just mad coz you forced me off the land
With your masculine misunderstand
And I guess I'm emotional and female
But that don't mean I should go to jail
For a century or two 
Just because I frighten you 
With all you can't contain
It was love, it wasn't pain
And the winter was long but the snow
Can't stop the way the spring will grow
New green into all of the leaves
And it's not just about what you believe
And I throw shards of glass into the past
Memories of what didn't last
And your words are like daggers that cut my skin
How does he know how to hurt within
With his flagrant disrespect for all I offer
I know it's just the way you suffer
But I can't play small anymore
Or cover over what you adore
And don't want to love
It was given me from above
And you're just gonna have to get used to it
Being front and centre and your wit
Can't tear me down no more
Find another ship to sail to the shore! 

The Monument

Fighting the monument to the era gone by
I dunno, I just had to try
But throwing stones at the wall
Is not the way to get over it all
And they had me medicated to the hilt
I couldn't stop crying til the flower wilt
And the flow of the years pass through
As I stare through the window at you
Hoping you might turn your head
But I better watch my mouth or I'll end up dead
Coz there's traps for every sound
And they're scattered all around
In the avenues that people walk 
And the professionals are all talk
Coz it's a road less traveled by
And it's a witch hunt if you claim to fly
When you are an earth bound creature
But I thought this deserved a feature 
In the newspaper of us
It's crumpled like our broken trust

No Deal

They talk about taking a cut
I don’t wish to intrude but
Isn’t that selling out on your dreams
The tailor rips all the seams
On a mighty dress
And I confess
That I never really knew what this life thing was
I just keep holding on because
It seems to be the only thing to do
Hold my breath and set the queue
And everything will be alright
There is no way to fight the night
Only accept its lapping waves
And the superhero who saves
Is your own deepest core
Pushing you til you know there’s more
Than surface appearance
In the woods and there’s been a clearance
Into some sort of scene
Everything is hazy as a dream
As I take what they offer me
But I would rather be free
Of the chains that bind
They run rings around my mind
But suffice to say
It doesn’t go away
It only suppress
It’s there to be addressed
And I hold my hand out to the dark
It dances me around in the park
With the grass under my feet
How was it that we never meet
In all the years we’ve been together
Just me, you and the weather
And it’s a lavender suite
I let it go and defeat
Is the sweetest thing I know
It just took Him time to show
The underneath that silences doubt
Now forever is what I’m all about
And death is the mask that God wears
You don’t realise it til the illusion tears
And you’re left with a landscape in your lap
Did the Universe take a nap
On overseeing the score
Coz I’m not sure who I am anymore
But You assure
That this road is pure
As midnight snow
The moon kissing the white below

From Afar

The sound of him
Is everything win
In no forest I can grasp
And maybe I should’ve
But I didn’t ask
Now you have her
And as far as I can tell
Everything is going really well
But I can’t watch you for an eon
Or an era
So I ditched the scales
I used to sear ya
To forbode
You’re carrying a heavy load
And relief
Should be yours
So instead of shutting doors
I’ll leave this one ajar
And love you long time, from afar

Flights Of Panic

The curbs of death
Mark the pavements of my mind
And I’m stepping on cracks
And what I left behind
Coz no one’s exempt
I dunno where it all went
The love and the fever
Do you think that you could just believe her
When she shines her light
And everything will be alright
They are not just grey platitudes of wishes
That flit across your mind as you’re washing the dishes
And a sudden plate falls from your grasp
Ceramic but it shatters like glass
All over the hardwood floor
Or tiled with patterns you adore
And there’s a mess
Like a man and woman in undress
Fixing pieces together
But the target moved and now the weather
Is spilling snow
Oh, all that you did not know
When you were young
Was I always this highly strung
And a friend permits
Me to call it quits
On anxious furore
Who are they after, who was I before
Indeed, was there ever a pre
Or is it just me
Who clatters the makings of another dawn
Something whispers; “they’re not gone”

Opening Hearts

I unlock my phone
And Chocolate opens
Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding
And you’re too sweet to be believed
You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve
Only an endless free terrain
And I’ve spent years studying your pain
From afar
And Teresa named a star
After me
So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see
Under ever present heavens
We were both born on elevens
And so I tick my clock
Wondering what it is you’re not
In all that you claim to be
You were my favorite song to see

Zen On A Dublin Bus

Hopping the lines she draws in the sand
I look at her and love is grand
And it’s all a spectrum really
I wonder if she’d ever steal me
Away into the night
Because she made me feel alright
As we talk unto the dawn
But it’s been ten years that I’m gone
And she laughed out loud at stuff I said
Like the man next door might want us dead
Or how I had the hots for a young Blair
And she had the coolest fuckin’ hair
But she’s got a partner now
And some beautiful children that life allows
To have a mother dear
And one thing is crystal clear
I had a girl crush on you
And I dunno, maybe I still do
Though it goes against the grain
I turn my face up unto the rain
Just to feel the feel of it
I sign my name and I quit
This effortless game
She said happy with her name
And she deserves everything she has
Showed me I don’t have to be one of the lads
I can just be the quiet me
A warm jumper and the tea

Messenger

I remember the chats I used to have
With a certain Shane
And maybe I shouldn’t mention his name
But he made me feel awesome socks
I ran away when the door knocks
And it’s him asking to be let in
And I just shout over the din
Of the silence that resounds
Sometimes the quiet is the only sound
And he’s too quick to doubt belief
I stand listening like a thief
That would steal away a word
Like it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard
And we lost the Americans that day on the bus
And our friend is where I place my trust
As I lean on her arm for support
We’ve always had a kind of rapport
Ever since that day in Delphi
Where we saw the sheep like an elf we
Had a vision of the whole land
Washing over the waves like sand
And she’s taller than I can believe
And cooler than I can thieve
Away from the sky
Something binds us until we die
And I hung out with the engineers
And found some moments that life endears
Me to all and sundry
Just don’t look for sunny on a Monday
And she’s the one who told me to scrawl
My thoughts on the internet like a graffitied wall
And I’ve gotta be grateful to her and all
As I jumped up to catch the ball
And land with running feet
To the place where destiny meet
It’s tv on the radio and all I see
Is you throwing shapes at me

Sensuality

I guess I just couldn’t be myself
Because of the wealth
Of rules and strictures
And there’s all these guys taking pictures
And you can’t trust
Something when it’s based in lust
There’s gotta be something more
But when you look at me I adore
Myself reflected in your eyes
And in your aura there’s no disguise
You see right through
To what I didn’t mean to show you
Or anyone
But the sun
Just shone
And then you were gone
And I grasped air
In the place where you were there
Til I found you again
And I swear off all men
But your soul pulls the floor
And I unslam the door
And let you back in
If I’m a competitor can I let you win
Coz I don’t wanna lose
The point I came here to prove
That you’re the best thing I never had
And my good is so bad
When you contemplate the style
But I’ll keep you on file
And flick through the memory scene
Do you wanna make the dream
Real and true
Oh God, what I would do with you! 😉

Sisterhood

Do I believe in the holy sisterhood
Has me doing things for the good
Of others not myself
Because the way the cards are dealt
Seem to aim for our division
As we fight each other like some kind of Britain
And if we’re not to fuel empire
Must we attenuate desire
Or could we grow and speak
The power that makes us weak
And I smile at the good
Of your heart and the wood
Is dense and thick
And you’re kinda driving stick
Around the road in front of me
As I’m lying, automatically

Epicology

Photo by Stephan Seeber on Pexels.com
I write my own version of epicology
It's a word I made up to describe mythology 
Of the personal self so cool
Oh, the awesome that I was in school
As I danced on a cloud nine
The minute He pierced through what was mine
To reveal the ever present source
And I'm filled with remorse
That I never seem to live up to 
The identical that I saw in You
As we spend our time just having a laugh
As we melt like a wall that's not gonna last
And I can't contain you in a rhyme
Except that you were outside of time
A moment, free and then to bind 
We lost love to the mind
As the shackles came back to say
We don't let people go that way
But I look up and the light
Is still shining on us, alright
And I don't need to let go
Of what is inherent to me, you know
And I don't know how to unfurl 
The heart that creates the girl 
As a modicum to understand
You were the truth I hadn't planned
Thought I could be the solitary queen
Til the sword lanced the dream 
And birthed me into real life
I like you, is that alright? 

Dreamboat Disguised

Deep in disguise 
I wade through the water
You somebody’s son
I’m the moon’s daughter
And I slip sideways
Out of the scene
You were the best part
Of my dream
And I watched you watch me
You took my pic
You grabbed the towel
And the gear stick
Shook in my hand
Said goodbye to Sam
You said he’ll be grand
And I drove you home
It was just the two of us
All alone
And you stopped to stare
I stopped the car
And met you there
And I wonder if I’ll ever see
You looking again like that at me
As I shared on a screen
Some kind of light show
I’d tell you the truth
If you want me to, you know
All the love in my heart
And you were a rouge kind of dark
As you let the wilderness consume
I watch you from across the room

Remind Them Of Their Humanity

Remind them of their humanity
Don’t let it switch off
It’s not long living
But all is not lost
Coz there is a molten core
At the heart of everyone
Nuclear fusion
Brighter than the sun
And it burns irregardless
Of the darkness you put yourself through
Don’t deny
All that is you
And I know it
Coz I’ve been through the night
But in the midst of the storm
The eye is alright
And I trust in the value
Of what makes us real
Is it intuition
Or the way that I feel
That tells me there’s an end
To a fighting soul
The wave is the ocean
Even if it has to roll
And you’re still what you are
Even in the confusion
Wake up from dread
And the delusion
That we are separate
From each other
Walking the plains
As sister and brother
And opening a sky
That will soothe with rain
We don’t have to
Go through this again
And I’m a reporter
On the front line
I don’t think we can do this
Another time

Of Transparency

I’m as see through as a pane of glass
And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask
What exactly is on your mind
I left the world I left behind
And grew up into walking shoes
To hold my own and pay my dues
In seasonal or in holiday stance
And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance
As you tic tac toe in front of me
Mr. Awesome or so I see
As you lean in close to meet my word
And I wonder what it is you heard
Coz it echoes against these cavern walls
In holidays and free for all’s
You knock on my door with your suit and tie
Stand up for what can never die
And I take your arm as we walk to the dance
Is loving you a sort of chance
Or risk I’m taking out on the pier
Letting a man come near
Close enough to break my heart
By giving him a share or part
Of what I’ve held in from the sky
I’m not playing games, I don’t lie
But I hold back because the fear
Is great enough to kill me, dear
And my heart It pounds in my chest
As I forsake the rest
To say I will and I do
When I’m looking straight at you
In eyes held tight at the altar
The time is now though it gets shorter
To see the mist advance with age
Though I can’t run from a blank page
That bids me just to tell the truth
And it’s not so bad giving way to youth
That is passing like a sea of storm
You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm
You are an immortal being
Though these images that I’m seeing
May make you want to run a mile
Or, I dunno, maybe just smile
And laugh and say isn’t that the way
You look at me and I’m okay

That Beautiful Smile

Here lies my truth, at least, so far
I walk away but I leave the door ajar
So you can come in if you need
Don’t think that I can’t see you bleed
Over there from afar
I’d love to pick you up in my car
So we could just go for a drive
Revel in the being alive
And you smile so truly I almost cave
Fall in love with who I try to save
As we walk the streets of Liverpool
And you’re helluva cool
And I could never understand
Why you decide to drop my hand
And let it all go to waste
Do I get to see your face
Again, not upon a screen
But as real as you could ever dream
Do I get to touch your skin
And let you know what I am to him
Coz we’re all flyers in the wind
And is there anyone who hasn’t sinned
In some great way or minor
You speak the truth and underline her
So that I know where to place my pen
Forever begins all over again
To the sound of Picturehouse
You command the screen, I click the mouse
But do you think that we could be
Together in a way that’s free
And I can’t deny the hold he has
But is it just karma and all that jazz
Is my soulmate someone, you
My twin flame to fly back to
Somewhere I thought I was
But there’s no reason for a just cause
Like the moment headlong too
When I just fell into you
And you laughing caught me there
I can tell by the way you hold my stare
That we are something for the age
Not writing on a white blank page
But laughter in the growing old
Making memories the future’s told
To all that we were back then
You were the best, can we do it again?

A Bite Into The Blue

Taking a bite into the blue
And it comes up the colour of you
As I dive into the ocean
And it’s all rhythmic motion
In the life I cannot live
Is it time to forgive
The darkness of my past
Who knew that this would last
So very long
Correct me if I’m wrong
But you loved that I love that song
As you curl up by my side
Say that I make you feel alive
And now it’s all gone away
What was it you didn’t say
Coz I’m dying to know
And I won’t leave it be so
Just tell me what you need to admit
I looked at you and I sit
Beside you surreptitiously
Vulnerably confess to me
Like a secret you can’t bear to keep
I’ll visit you in the safety of sleep

Hormones

Is it just my hormones
Making me love you
A perfect match
A patch for two
Or is it something deeper
That we might share
I know that I love you
I know that you care
And when all the wilderness
Lets me go
Will I still be there
At the end of the show
Coz I just wanna hold your hand
And have you feel
The decades of love
With which I cannot deal
As they wrap around
The map of your frame
And I twirl on my fingertips
The headtrip of your name

Atticus Finch

Giving myself permission to open up
I’ve got to be vulnerable if I wanna love
And I’m risking the pain coz damn sure it’s there
But I’ve gotta trust if I wanna care
And the wind blows no matter which way I turn
A fire sign has just gotta burn
Til the ashes turn phoenix new
Til I see myself reflected in you
And I know I’ve got problems, I know I’ve got vices
But I am the queen of no compromises
As I utter the truth as it sits on my breath
I say to the sky; don’t let me forget
Coz I wanna grow up, I don’t wanna away
But there’s room in this house for peace to stay
And open the cages that rattle their bars
Twenty odd years and I’m still chasing cars
Down every avenue
Still trying to prove something to you
All now that are watching my every move
But who would you be if you walked in my shoes
Like Atticus Finch and fine thread
Do up your laces and keep up your head
As everything born to beat you down
Slowly vacates your side of town
To leave you free as a bird in the air
I just want you to know that I am there
For you in every melee
Whether or not you’re talking to me
In the sunshine, the storm, the rain or the snow
There is no place a shepherd won’t go
To retrieve that lost sheep he owns
Give up the struggle and just come home

Sister Soul

Ijust wanna protect her
And I’m so mad that he’d reject her
And ruin her starlit shine
It’s kind of like the light that used to be mine
And now she sings of a defeat, years ago
I close my eyes because I should not know
But I do
I still feel you
In the cobwebs of my mind
Kind of like a secret I’ve left behind
And we tangled up our avenues
I sing of heaven without you
And innocence lost
She paid the price but at what cost

Of Words And Trees

Afraid of my own words
It’s like a tree being afraid of the birds
Never mind, it’s true
I can’t hide any of this from you
As I take pencil to page
To rattle the walls of every cage
To let the dark out
The demons can’t hurt you if you shout
And call the sky into being
It is the waves that I am freeing
To know their ocean nature
Like the moon so in tune with every crater
I smile at the good of it all
Cause I found solid ground in the freefall

States of Consciousness

The wrong side of the bay
I love you, I hope that’s okay
And the midnight is as much the day
As is the sun part of the ray
As it lands on grass so green
This is all you’ve ever been
And everything you’ve ever seen
But time has come to wake from the dream
And into the open expanse
Of valleys where the leaves dance
In time with the wind and for a glance
The stillness wills you to take a chance
And open out the depths of love
Like a Saviour from above
As it all fits like a glove
The symbol of the Holy Dove
And it’s not what you have, it’s what you give
Are you able to really live
To be true and forgive
Each forsaken branch to sieve
Down into a particle state
Jesus said you don’t have to wait
But be all you are right now
I know what He means somehow
As everything gives way under my weight
And I am pulled into a higher state
Don’t have to face what is on my plate
Or let it go into fate
But be all I ought to know
It took some time for the years to show
But I am it and will go
Down the route to follow
Everything and all that is
It is true that I am His
And must say through the snow
I’ll be with you as the winds blow