Fangirling The Music

I see him in my minds eye
Talking to me and I almost cry
Because he’s been my hero since I was fourteen
Walking the cobblestones of almost been
And I’m moody and sad and no one understands
But I’ve found one of the coolest bands
With my music player and my hoodie
I am my own bestest buddy
As I walk up the land in the cold and the dusk
And there’s something in this sound that I can trust
And everything is loss, it’s all taken away
And I’m older at the close of day
As I see through the apparent facade
That it’s all pulled away isn’t bad
But you won’t know it yet, my dearest child
It’s only the beginning of a life in the wild
But you’re hollow and lonely and you kick your shoes
In the dirt like the dust rising gives you the blues
But the depth turns to awesome
The darkness to sky
And in the night
You don’t have to lie
Only find what’s there to be discovered
It’s almost like his music finally uncovers
The expanse of freedom that’s there to find
Don’t worry over what isn’t so kind
You’ll find your worth in more than she say
There’s a sunrise to mark the break of day
Only it’s eternal and never fades
It’s bright as the sun but you don’t need shades
In the white light of pure consciousness
I found freedom and I confess
I owe the steady hand to Snow Patrol
They kind of dove deep into my soul
And if I’m ever a success I’m gonna find that guy
Write him a letter to try
To elucidate something real
You open the door on what it is to feel
And mountains and valleys are nothing to you
I bet if time stopped you’d just walk through
To where you’ve always been
If life is Love then you’re the Unseen

Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash.com

All My Love

I always thought that someday we’d marry
And there was that day when I met Gary
And it’s awesome, it’s cool, it’s so fuckin’ rad
To meet the best guy that you’ve never had
And he’s laid back and breezy
But I know it isn’t easy
As he grabs my CD and throws me a look
But I keep my eyes on the ground as my legs shook
And I can’t believe I couldn’t speak
And that I almost felt a little weak
And he’ll never know the star he is
And the part of my heart that’s his
In the young days of teenage and a little bit sad
He kept me company when I felt bad
And wandered through woods and went on long walks
Avoiding looks and the way that time talks
And that awning chasm when someone leaves
I almost felt that no one believes
Or sees things the way I do
But that was before I found you
And I know that I’m not alone
With my discman before an iPhone
The soul that you spirit into my aura
And I know that they call me Laura
But I feel like so much more when I’m listening to you
You don’t know the blessing you’ve been, do you?

Reworked

I’m crying to the sound of Gary’s voice
Because he make silence out of noise
And I love him so but we’ve barely met
Except that one time I won’t forget
In the line up at HMV
I’m sweating coz the next one’s me
And I don’t know what to say
To my hero today
But he grabs the CD and with a smile
He writes his name and all the while
My heart is pounding in my ears
Because he made meaning out of tears
And the other guys, I love them too
Johnny asked “How are you”
In his northern accent, his beautiful twang
And it was just like some bell had rang
And we take a picture, me and Caroline
I’m smiling so you know I’m fine
But my heart is breaking in my chest
At all the seasons I loved the best
And I wonder will you ever know
That you’re the sky and not the snow
And a place I’ll always go
I love you, dear, so I let it show

Dancing

Dancing to a rhythm

That no one can see

There is music playing

But is it just me

Who can hear the call

Of the Divine

And endless reservoir

Of fine

And a diamond mine

In the grass

All you ever have to do

Is ask

Front to Bottom

I didn’t want to admit you were right about me
Cause it hurt too much that you had seen the truth
And you were willing to give me all of you
In recompense for what had happened to me
And I said no
I can do it alone
I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone
I’m just fine
And it was sort of true but a lie at the time
Cause when you matched puzzle pieces right to the marks I had made on my skin
I said no, I don’t want to let you in
And when you said “I would do just about anything for you”,
I turned you away because I knew you would
And I would lose you some day one way or another
Through my fault or your own or death taking us under
And I couldn’t let it in
No, I couldn’t let it in
Cause a world without you does not exist
And I want to do more than merely subsist
And now you don’t love me cause I threw it away
Well you sorta do, in the back of your mind kind of way
Cause you love everyone, even though you hate them passionately
You just wanna grow into all you’re meant to be
And I know you will
Well you already have
Why does it feel so bad?