Leaving Louisiana
I watch the Mississippi River
As we glide over it in a plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back that way again
And the heat in July must be hard to bear
They’re on their own and my God I care
About all they’ve come to be
Does the water run into the sea
Or does it just keep on going
I guess I have no real way of knowing
I wanna kiss DC full in the face
For the joy of loving me in my disgrace
And should I maybe not say your name
In case you see it, well it’s all the same
As you smoked a cig in the club
And I held onto you like you’re a drug
As you held my eyes like a line
And describing you sends me out of my mind
But you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you’re so debonair
And I’m lost like a wonderland in your hair
As you care
And I stare
If I could I’d take you anywhere
You’d wanna go
You looked at me like you didn’t need to know
About my past, my history
It’s all present moment when you’re with me
Fuck it I’m shit cool
Though I was A1 in school
And everyone is so nice
Life the kind of trip you can’t take twice
Drinking on the street
Like the day Darragh and I meet
And I swear I love that guy
I’d marry him if he thought to try
To try it on one more time
He kinda reflects the light sublime
As he gazes in my eyes
And there’s something that never dies
Held between us both
I’ll get the door if you get my coat
And I’ll hold it open for you
Don’t you know that I adore you
As you so honestly inflect
I am down for what’s coming next
My heart won’t let me make a life with you
And it’s not because I don’t want to
It’s just because the ocean spans
The way he moves the music with his hands
The way he rustles leaves and trees
The way my faith always believes
In something I can’t hold onto
It’s choiceless freedom loving you
I’m a walking flame
I don’t go by any name
And anyone who’d dare surprise
Me by looking in my eyes
Washed away like the river flow
And there’s more that I do not know
Than I can wrap my head around
If they ask will you make a sound
Just to show that you are there
What is the meaning of true care
When it’s at home
All I know is I’m not alone
And solitude is all in one
Unforgiven and the Son
That died for all our sins
Shows me that Love always wins
There’s an angel on the cross
He’s been resurrected and all is not lost
As he comes for me
To lift me with his wings so free
Up and out of this situation
Away from town and my education
Into a new sphere, a new realm
One where God is at the helm
Of the ship we all steer
What’s left to say when the Holy Ghost is near
The Fourth Quadrant
Oh, beautiful design
How do I express
All that is mine
As it came in a moment
So circumspect
Amid all of the anger
That I reject
To be like a flower
Its petals unfurled
You say you know something
But it’s just the world
That lays heavy on
The frame of you
You’re waking up
And I am too
To a degree of beauty
Heretofore unseen
Oh, all of life
Is but a dream
Held in the
Consciously aware
Do you join your hands
Together in prayer?
And if you do
Do you know what’s there
I answer coz
I meet your stare
Like leaves in the ocean
Blown there from trees
It’s deeper than thought
Or what you believe
It’s music to ears
That listen for joy
It’s all of my heart
Not a power ploy
I can’t just keep writing poems about you
Not when the Real is here
And you never seem
To reply to me, dear
And the sidelines are awash
With all the fragrant flames
Knocking down the obstacles
And taking names
And you showed me your true colours
Like a multi hued sky
And I was not afraid
To either live or die
But only meet the honest
That is shining in your eyes
I think I might have seen you
Without your best disguise
Holding my Catholicism with a light hand
I believe in Jesus and shur it’ll all be grand
Coz I trust in the Infinite
Even in the dark of midnight
When everything closes down
And all you can see is the town
That held you back
Lost in everything you lack
But that celestial sphere
Of burning white light is always near
And comforts me in my trauma
So I walk amid the flora and fauna
Just to feel the Nature in my bones
It’s been years since I knew alones
And even in the event of catastrophe
I know the Lord walks with me
Together with two pair of feet
He leaves one set of steps on the beach
As He carries me all the way home
I guess that’s how the True Love is shown
I think I would steal away home
To find the letters you wrote on stone
In tablet form with a stylus
The reams of literature can’t confine us
Coz we are a storm by the light of day
But in the night we are okay
As you put one finger on my pulse
And wait for the racing heart to lull
Into the birth of silent trust
The reams of gold that will not rust
Only gaze in steady charm
The love of God is safe from harm
Can I just lie here on your chest
Be done with all the doing my best
And just slip into a peaceful slumber
You’re calling me but I lost your number
And the answer’s like a dictaphone
I’m in my room all alone
Dreaming of a time less hidden
And waves to roll that stroll unbidden
And monuments are the days to come
The forever in the being young
But the timeless in the growing old
There’s part of the story that’s never told
But waits in stillness and in silence whole
The power of love to wake the soul
The power of emptiness come undue
The strength in the gaze of you
The solidity and the trust
I’ll give up the pain if it’s a must
And if you’re serious about the past
Then the future will everlast
But the truth is in a moment free
We’re talking and he’s looking at me
As the time flies by and the hours pass
I didn’t know your name, didn’t think to ask
But smile as if it’s all left to do
I’m in love and it’s with you
Nothing fits it’s shape any more
When you’re knocking on a closed door
Only to see it opens from the inside
All this time you’ve been alive
And never really known it
Like your true colours, never really shown it
Til the dye is running through
I got messed up in a dream of you
One without an adequate ending
And I quit the scene instead of unfriending
You where you stood out there
Didn’t want you to think I didn’t care
But I’ve got to run
Coz I love the sun
And how it turns my skin brown
I never lived for the town
But for the acres, fields of grass
Lying in the Everlast
Til the cows come home
I realise I’m not alone
A billion billion stars in the night sky
Eight billion humans and we’re all afraid to die
And the circle of life, it goes round and round
You take your last breath then you don’t make a sound
As you’re returned to the place you have always been
Waking up to life now it has been a dream
But born again anew into something fresh
Throw away your fears and all of your regrets
Leave them with the storm that is brewing by the coast
Be the one who means the very most
To everyone who looks to know if it was there
You’ve seen through the night, now you can’t fake a stare
I could stare at you for an infinity
Wasting away into you and me
Like the Mirror of Erised
Or the words that she said
As she tried to capture a refrain
Is life more than the pain
That seems to cascade a waterfall
And I let go of it all
Only to be brought back around
Do you hear the ocean in the sound
Of a breeze through the air
I kiss you like you aren’t there
But somehow I still feel your stare
A presence, you being there
In moments gone and yet to come
Suspended between the old and young
And forests grow up from the earth
Like people do from the hurt
The waves and waves and waves of dirt
Capsizing what was once my worth
But you see in pages more than I
The winds of what it is to die
Blowing like for evermore
And I still see you there, mo stór
Effervescent on the hill
Then tiptoeing with some skill
On the tightrope of us
I gave my heart, you gave your trust
And somehow it beats from far away
You run and I stay
To be always on a hike
Like features in the world alike
Always aware of what we are
You be the sun for I am a star
There she goes out on a spin
I wonder will I end up with him
Coz the spiral galaxies can’t contain
Anything that is less than rain
And it all cascades from a cloud
When you speak do you do it out loud
And are you proud
Of all you’ve come to be
Do you really see
Or just threaten so
I ask because it’s somewhere I go
Sometimes
And all my rhymes
Can’t fill the awning gap in my soul
How do you find yourself in a black hole
Singular true
The point of eternity flowing from you
The wrong side of the bay
I love you, I hope that’s okay
And the midnight is as much the day
As is the sun part of the ray
As it lands on grass so green
This is all you’ve ever been
And everything you’ve ever seen
But time has come to wake from the dream
And into the open expanse
Of valleys where the leaves dance
In time with the wind and for a glance
The stillness wills you to take a chance
And open out the depths of love
Like a Saviour from above
As it all fits like a glove
The symbol of the Holy Dove
And it’s not what you have, it’s what you give
Are you able to really live
To be true and forgive
Each forsaken branch to sieve
Down into a particle state
Jesus said you don’t have to wait
But be all you are right now
I know what He means somehow
As everything gives way under my weight
And I am pulled into a higher state
Don’t have to face what is on my plate
Or let it go into fate
But be all I ought to know
It took some time for the years to show
But I am it and will go
Down the route to follow
Everything and all that is
It is true that I am His
And must say through the snow
I’ll be with you as the winds blow
Losing the love of my life
I always wanted to be his wife
And I’m unscripted, I’m undue
And I’m running from anything but you
Coz you’ve got lashes, you’ve got hair
You’ve got Presence amid the being there
And I smile and I laugh
And you catch another raft
As it shoots out into the world
You’ve got a life, you’ve got a girl
And I would never want to interfere
It’s just I love you always, dear
In the moments come unbidden
Amid all that remains hidden
In butterflies and in cymbal clash
The rain comes to pour on me and lash
Out down from the heavens
I’m kicking stones hooked up to sevens
As a day each week that passes
Could be enough to outclass us
And I know you’ve got your sonnet ring
It’s just you don’t know everything
Not half as much as you profess to contain
Must I hear you again explain
All I am in neat little quotes
Must I be student to take notes
And hear once more what you say
It’s all in the going away
But what if I choose to remain
A dash of paint to upskill the rain
As it colours the window grey
But we live in Ireland so come what may
In brutal asides and centerfolds
The path we walk is made of gold
And must we unknow the way
To mean what the people say
In amounts that fall due
And I’m so taken with the fire of you
As you tip your hat to another trope
And I’m just driving by the coast
With the sound of sea in my ears
I brush away the errant tears
That make lanes from my eyes
To mirror that of rainy skies
In all that I profess is true
It’s pure in love and it’s with you
He lead with his pain
The king of I’m never doing that again
As he repeats henceforth
And then is full of remorse
But the moment is still as it passes
It’s about waking up from your lessons in classes
As you jot a note down
Then feel as if you’re gonna drown
In the ocean surrounding us all
And he seems weak though he never call
And the evenings are long though they’re not straight
And I leave it up to God or fate
As I climb a tree at fifteen
Take snapshots of who I could’ve been
And time has passed in a caress
And I wear jeans under my dress
To go trudging through the muck
And I gotta say I always gave a fuck
About you, about them, about him, about us
The windowpane is cracked but the trust
Still rests in steady arms
So turn off your alarms
And rest back into the resident peace
I watched the war in me cease
I listened as the noise fell quiet
Though the streets may be a riot
With all the summer rain
I’ll take the truth without a name
As it’s hampered on
But you know it’s not gone
As long as my heart steady beats
And long after the tide retreats
To leave a shore to smile
It’s forever in a long while
To go on singing your own tune
I feel them all in this room
As I touch my hand to my chest
It’s not only the dead who rest
As I let peace reign supreme
And get up from the couch as though from a dream
Things are changing rapidly
But they’re also staying the same
Love seems to be
The name of the game
As we grow and garden plants
But from the sky we look like ants
And do you think that such a view
Can contain the heights of you
Or the depth of your soul
You don’t have to pay the toll
Of living in a body human
The cars pass by zooming
And I wonder if I could catch a glance
Would it move me like another chance
As we all spend the scene
Then call change a certain dream
Because we are meant to grow
Not torture each other, you know
And the weight of troubled times
Live with us like the crimes
We secretly commit
Or who we’re talking with
On the down low
I let it go, or don’t you know
I’ve got narrow arms
I’ve always been thin
And I’m so short
Beside him
But he makes me feel
Ten stories high
And I’ll love him
Til the day I die
Or longer and further
If I may
But I want him
To know, okay
Letting go
Of the years I hid
Always holding out
For the highest bid
But something in
The way he smiled
Had me walking
All these miles
Back to the place
I started
The moment when
Faith imparted
Us with just
A moment to spare
And I can tell
When you’re not there
And when you are
Like a cosmic star
Does she realise
Just how far
This love will go
It’s forever
I hope you know
It threads the needle
So very fine
And is a step
Out of time
Into what
You can only call
The root
Of it all
Grown in ground
Like steady soil
So, let go
Of all your toil
And rest back into
The arms of Heaven
As secure as
The number eleven
Careful anonymity is the name of the game
As I breathe through it like it’s all the same
And I protect what I see
But it draws upon eternity
To here and there and let the surge
As I feel the moment when I merge
With all that is or could be
You look at me, do you see I’m free
And yet held back by errant chains
That fall from the sky like rains
Everywhere to conspire
Lift up what must take you higher
Then soar into your own soul
Deeper than the waves that roll
Back where it is completely still
Beyond the realm of hate and will
But thundered prose knows the beat
And it walks itself with my two feet
To suddenly surprise the day
I’m fine, you know, is that okay?
I just remember his eyes
I don’t know whether they’re green or blue
Except for that picture of you
That I saw on a screen miles away
Now you’re where I was that day
Somewhere in a big, big city
But lonely and that’s a pity
Coz we could be something, don’t you agree
But you only talk to a picture of me
And I ain’t making war
Coz, God knows, what for
And I don’t hate what you had to do
That you have someone walking with you
And it’ll never be what we were
But maybe it’s better and you stir
To match the moment of her
And she looks like she catches your glance
I bet she never asks you to dance
Coz you move like you’re in a trance
And I would take another chance
Out on the wind
Is it to have sinned
To want what isn’t yours to crave
A desire I try hard to save
From getting to the heart of me
And we’re apart but you see
I’ve got you buttoned on my shirt
It was never meant to hurt
But I can hear it in your voice
Do we have another choice?
I’ve tried
And I can’t make it work
I know love
Isn’t meant to hurt
And all of this
Bending myself into shapes
While the hero of the story
Quietly escapes
It shows me that
The grass ain’t green
And you can’t make Heaven
Out of a dream
All the flimsy material
To wrap around
Your idiosyncrasies
And your distinct sound
That I hear
From far away
But there’s nothing
You can say
To explain
What you’ve ripped
I guess you could call it
A head trip
Coz it really
Messed with my mind
But it’s okay
I’m leaving it behind
And you can have
An opinion or two
Just know that I
Will never belong to you
Looking into the eyes
Of innocent men
Could you spell that
For me again
It reframes
My female pain
As not something
I’d wanna go through again
And I know it’s justified
It’s just that I might’ve lied
When I said it’s all your fault
And I locked you in a vault
But then I see once more
The light of consciousness I adore
Shining forth from the heart of you
And it’s all that I can do
To open heart and surrender
Forget something I tried to remember
For so long and with so much strive
I’m just glad you’re alive
And we can call this mission one
My God, you shine just like the sun
In another life
We’d be a two by two
And I wouldn’t have lost in love
When I tried for you
And it’s all good
I’ll get by
I’ll love again
I don’t need to try
It’s just you
Got under my skin
And I swore I’d never
Be that way with him
But I let myself down
Badly, it seems
I kidded myself
Into the man of my dreams
And I must have been such a joke
The tiger you casually poke
With a furnace roar in her soul
But unsteady as a newborn foal
Do you think you could give me a break
But you take and take and take
And I let it all go on the breeze
Please, get up off your knees
I’m not down to have you beg
Could you grow up instead
Coz we’re two equals by the door
And I found you on the shore
Washed up from a shipwreck
When you use the f word is it feck
Cause I’m looking at the deck
And it’s still slanted yet
Are you bootstrap’s child
I’m still a little wild
And roll with the ocean
You are all emotion
I write poems about you
About love and hate and in between
As you criticize the dream
For being too bold
Too brash and vibrant to hold
But it’s all me
Sailing on the empty sea
Of my own dread
Is it wrong that you’re in my head
Incessantly
What does it take to be free
Of your grasp
You said we’d ever last
But fine
As you give up the thousandth time
On what we were
And I amn’t her
But am I just making drama
Not seeing things like a panorama
Gaslighting myself
Then saying it’s better for my mental health
To hold it all in
But maybe the sin
Is not giving myself leave to feel
And it’s all real
So I heal
Slowly at first
You don’t have to rehearse
I paint it in verse
And a sideways glance
Is nothing but a second chance
Gone to waste
So make haste
And dive in
It’s only five minutes til we begin
To see the storm another dial
And it’s like we’re on trial
For a crime we didn’t commit
But it’s still you I’m walking with
Stephen’s words are gentle true
And I want to make the stars with you
As you gaze out from a constellation
And I have to say my medication
Hasn’t prepared me for a moment like this
One where opposites kiss
Across a table
And you aren’t able
To hold back the smile
I catch you all the while
Laughing with your face lit up
And I guess you could call this love
Except for the fact
You don’t want me back
In that place again
The only good thing was the men
Who used to be good to me
In days I lost my liberty
To a staunch defender
It was enough to render
The articulation in my image
The town was talking, the whole village
Was effervescent with the notion
That I was caught in my emotion
And a subtle drawl
Draped over me like a shawl
In winter time
Are you sublime
Or just ocean, seas
You could call it a modern disease
To be brought low
Places where I dare not go
Or with a shudder
There with any other
And to be soothe with my music
It’s the path I walked but I didn’t choose it
I wonder if he ever thinks of me
It’s been years since I set him free
And it all collided into a perfect chasm
Now I look away coz I know she has him
And I don’t begrudge her the joy of the act
It’s just, you see, I want him back
And it doesn’t matter what storms my sky
I’ll still love him to the day that I die
Death is really nothing but the passing of the torch
I spend years in contemplation on my front porch
All to find a map that maybe would decide
The route I am to take for the reason that’s inside
And it may be tomorrow or in forty years
Will the lake live on now that I’ve cried some tears
In saltwater brine ever to explore
I get older as I age but I just love it more
As I fit into my skin each moment as it passes
Like I used to listen to the teachers talk in classes
With rapt attention in case I might miss
Something of my destiny condensed into a list
And everything has rolled by, I find myself thirty two
It’s older that I’m getting though I’m younger than you
And everything will cease one day come it’s time
It’s not as if I can call forever mine
Except to note that in the Now
Everything is present somehow
An abundance of peace and adequate zen
Hands held together to utter Amen
That all may be as it always is
The Birth of the Eternal into what exists
Are we loved up to the stars
Sideways and we’re dodging cars
That try to chase us down the street
The glory of our cute meet
On a train or a bus
Or public transportation
I always look out for you
When I’m at the station
In case you come riding into town
I wanna make sure that I’m around
And they all have me down as a fool
As smart as I was in school
They have me thieving timbers
Crawling through the ashen cinders
And I’m forever ago
To you
But I smile when you want me to
Just to flash that grin of yours
I’m sure the earth adores
Ever child of hers as much as I do you
The needle and thread are pulling through
To make a new tapestry
I loved you so I set you free
The poetry knows how to spell your name
But I’m gonna keep it quiet, if it’s all the same
To you as our separate spheres
Collide into the absence of fear
And you love her deeply but is it true
And you know I’ve got my eyes on you
As you step across the room
Did I just know you too soon
And the weather changed and the tide went out
So sure that I’m full of doubt
And aching with the ages that are passing by
I know it was uncouth but I had to try
To make a spiral turn your head
I wish I was able to command you instead
But you’re so out of reach that I cannot touch
Even the air that surrounds what I love so much
So I leave it be and I let it go
It was just I wanted you to know
Before you made that step up the hill
I left it where it was but I always will
Smile at the sun that shines on you
I don’t mind if you want me to
Simply be serious with my tone
I’m always better when I’m alone
And desperate is not something I’ve ever known
But it’s got to rain for the grass to be grown
And I guess I came down in a shower of hail
And you can try your case and fail
But there’ll always be somewhere you can reside
You can take off that mask, you don’t need to hide
Only confide and breathe deep and breathe true
Love is always there for you
Oxegen was something of a revelation
They always said I was above my station
Staring into stars like that
But I’ve caught the bug and I want you back
I just don’t know what to do
I don’t know, I just need you
To come back in on the breeze
And watch me fall to my knees
As I implore the sky
To let me have this man of a guy
To call my own
And true colours shown
Only paint the clouds a different hue
I came apart in the hands of you
As you just smile
And I walk a mile
In another’s shoes
To be happy and pay our dues
Could I give you a book to peruse
As you unintentionally confuse
Me with your ardent limbs
And, my God, the joy of him
To be together in this way
I don’t care what the people say
In their ancillary tones
I just remember the hold on my phone
As I screamed an I love you
And you just looked sad and blue
And everything is a forest free
Did you perceive the truth in me
Or was it just a moment passing by
Did I need to try
To make you see
Or did you just know me
In our absence of words
The silence is all that I’ve heard
In days gone by
I dunno, I had to try
To let you into just how I feel
But, I just, I cannot deal
With your ebullience
And is the tense
We’re in now just fear
All I hold, dear
Is the memory of us
And the dream of something to trust
Two stars passing in a midnight sky
And I’m gonna love you until I die
And that may be many years hence
But you’re always in the present tense
Tracing constellations in an azure blue
Is the moon and sun in a room with you
And as far as I can make out
My trust in you bends the limits of doubt
Til we’re screaming yes at the end of an aisle
As I twirl your hair around my fingers and smile
At the chance made of fate
It’s you and I on our first date
So circumstance I can’t compute
How you and I could ever dilute
The complexity of an intensity strong
Holding our hands against the wrong
And you win me over with a simple song
I am beside you and we belong
In the halls of Love where they record names
The futility of errant flames
That spiral ever eternity
The timeless realm and now I see
You’re in the past
But the feeling’s still present
I wonder if I could
Knock on your door guessing
Wondering
If you’d let me in
And I would explain
Everything about him
That it was momentary
A flash in the pan
But you are everything
That I am
And I’d pause and then say
Wait for you to reply
Hope we could be close
Before we both die
Coz life is so brief
It’s barely a flicker
I ran after you
Your steps just got quicker
Til you slowed yourself down
To the sound of my voice
Say, I didn’t know
That there was a choice
And look at me
In a sort of awe
I’m sorry I’m lovely
And kind of outlaw
And you take forever
Just to answer
Say, I took you for love
Not a dancer
And I beg you to listen
With the words that I say
It’s just I’ve never been heard
In quite that way
And the silence is deafening
But so is the noise
And I’ve been all about men
And one of the boys
But you take time
To really know me
I give you space
As we walk so slowly
Into a garden
That none suspect
I thought our love
And the whole thing was wrecked
But you say it’s not
And you press my pulse
Into my wrist
As the lightning dulls
The terrifying pain
Of being right here
And not knowing what
To say to you, my dear
But there is just an always
In between us it resides
And my heart’s the kind of thing
That simply abides
In the summer, in the winter
Trundling through the snow
I loved you so much
I let you go
But if you really
Want to be right here
Then I am waiting
For you, my dear
The doors unlocked
And you have a key
So no need to go
Second guessing me
No need to go drawing
A line in the sand
Just look into my eyes
And hold my hand
And feel my heart
Beating tremor
It’s just like you’ve
Found true love forever
She’s like a sister to me
And there are waves in our history
And all we are
Shines brighter than any star
As I hold her close to my heart
In that place we’re never apart
And it’s scary, letting the truth sneak through
But I think I must let you know you
Are the diagrams I always draw
While waiting for the ice to thaw
The expanse that opens a sky
Of constellations that never lie
And map our lives so precise
We never fight coz we are alright
With what we’ve been and what we do
You’ve got to know the storm in my story is you
As cold meets warm and sparks a fire
The light of electricity to conspire
To illuminate the dark of night
Are you okay coz I’m alright
I’m just sneaking sideways to see what you’re at
If you’ve got the genie, I’ve got the mat
And we can make the scene extra real
With the fabric of daydreams with which we deal
And there are moments that we steal
While waiting for the film to reel
And you have got these books written in your soul
I can see the weight of time getting old
With all that you’re not letting through
How is it I can see it better than you?
When you’re so informed when it comes to the spirit
And there’s been a call but did you hear it
If there’s something in your way will you clear it
Or just stay back and silently fear it
Coz all the tomorrows are brewing their own tea
And you have been the closest thing to me
That I could’ve ever known
I love you with the heart of true colours shown
And in the midnights that read our book
Do you think this thing deserves a second look
To let go and be
I’m onto your iceberg reality
Did someone say Stephen I know the ends aren't even But I would stand on the tips of my toes Just to kiss you again, God knows And we're all starlight, the perfect refrain He makes origami out of my pain He folds and creases it until Something beautiful is on the windowsill And I know I can't touch you, you're out of bounds But I'm kind of glad you're always around To soothe my soul into something nice I fell in love at first sight, twice And maybe forever is too far to run And we were over before we ever begun But I just see sidelines in the melee And I couldn't believe he was talking to me In his innocent and lovely, beautiful eyes For you I would forsake all the lies Hold you tight in both of my arms Know my love keeps us both from harm But you're sideways and awesome, I'm on a tilted stage And I know that trend may be all the rage But I'm singing it only for your soul Let's ditch the formalities and rock and roll
Love, Is at its most powerful When open doors Meet it At every shore And I've been scared Of my wild heart Which pulls me All apart When I Don't know What I'm doing Anymore It makes my spirit soar And takes my hand Tells me that it will be grand In country tones Or Dublin when he's on the phone Batting lashes And I phoenix from the ashes To blaze anew A fire sign just for you And interestingly You just sigh Tell me a feigned goodbye Coz I know You wanna hear more And I can count The numbers that you score With your perfect tune And movement when Nobody's in the room Could I hold out a hand Would you catch it Would you be my man And let the drifting go I see you where you are, you know And love you as you be There's no monstrosity to see But pulverised From all your shaking You're in the room My boots are quaking But I stay Please tell me you love me that way In a summertime share Or an I know that you care More than you let on It's not gone But eternal here I love you always, my dear
I have to stop dancing on the lane
Someone might see through the pain
To the joy that’s underneath
Signified by my light feet
I’ve somehow ended up in Hillstreet again
Searching for you amongst the men
It’s like following the paths of the birds
I’m looking for directions but they’re all words
And I’m driving down roads I don’t understand
They meander through ways I didn’t have planned
And it’s ancient and advanced and something so serene
Do you think the tapestry is just a dream
As we paint with the colour we find
And all our problems we leave behind
And it’s nothing new to say that you
Starred in a role you didn’t want to
But could it have been for anyone else
I know that you say I’m wasting my wealth
Singing up to windows like yours
But your love opens doors
Into a new refrain
One without the well of pain
And I sigh
This isn’t goodbye
Just a see you soon
What would we do if we had a room
To get locked into
You know I didn’t choose any but you
As the blinds filter light
But I’m following something that’s more than worth the fight
In Autumn air
And the sound of you just being there
And I’m in my car
Wondering where on earth you are
And if you ever think
Of that night you bought me a drink
Then laughed at the good
Of our bobbing for apples the way that we would
Have done if no one was there
And I’m watching you watching me stare
In the hallway or din
Is there any replica of him
Or am I forever bound
To go deaf to the sound
Of the calling of Christ
As He asserts Himself in my life
As a myriad of form
I touched your skin and it was warm
Against mine
I love you always for all of time
The depth of Darragh’s eyes Leave no room for disguise As I walk down a hallowed hall He looks at me and it’s it all And it has been years since I Ever watched him try To impress me with a smile I loved him once, all the while And he said something soft So, I hold it aloft In all the caverns I walk into There’s something fresh, there’s something new And is it wrong to use your name To wonder if you feel the same Because it’s been time But there’s a part of you that is still mine As we roamed the corridors Looking for something more’s And everything was all in one You shine like the only sun In the sky to conflagrate I think you’ll pulled me out of state To drag me down another line Now we’re kissing and doing time For what we can’t see He looked up and it was me Lying in the top bunk Trying to cover up my junk As I see through my hair The effervescence there And the million acres Of the words that have littered papers To pay testament to The joy I feel when I think of you Do you think that I Could give forever another try Of wishing long And you’re always strong But weak at the centre It is the place you let me enter And sing a song As we belong Together to find our love Somewhere looking down from above And those other guys May give in to futile tries And white lies But I Would never do that to you I ran because I was scared to Commit to something I don’t know But when you leave, I watch you go With sorrow in my hands Because you used to own these lands For a time or two And I could never understand why you Walked away The day After the night before When I proved I loved you more Than the other girls, I followed you down the street It was like the first time people meet As you said my name And I know it’s not the same As I guide you back Drunk to where there is no lack Because you never know You could get lost in the snow If you’re not aware Of how I’m absolutely there Would you see if you read my heart That there is a little part Reserved for you always Don’t matter what the crowd says I still see it in you, and majesty I gave it to you free To know and to have and to hold There’s part of us not growing old And I could let you in If you’re not afraid to begin To love the light I’m more than darkness in the night I’m a summer storm And I would keep you warm Like the smoothest cloud I just want to shout out loud How I feel It is the real deal And I’m not playing around So if you hear my silent sound Then know That I left but I didn’t go Anywhere But where I was already there And if there is a place reserved For me, then, a little unnerved I could say lets go I never forgot, you know And I would hold your hand through days And multicolour manifold ways If you could trust In all that I say will not rust And I move with the tide But I come back to the place to abide And find you by the shore You could be something I adore And what’s more There’s plenty in store To haphazard and butterfly But people like you never die Only get more real With everything you let them feel Can you be a sport And give me something to report On the western front It’s not a stunt To say that I Am loving you always and I try To let you see But I don’t know what there is of me To love and have and hold I’m just a story that’s never been told And I sang my soul to a heart But you and I are not apart But one If you like I’ll come undone And let you in And you could be just like him In the seasons change And the acting strange Is it okay If there’s more left to say Than all I know I just can’t let you go But see This is here eternally And for you I took a picture so it would do To hold you when you are not near I think it’s becoming crystal clear That what you said is true Friends don’t look at each other like that, do you See me with other guys I see you on the fly With some cool chick And I just sip My drink so cool I wish I knew you in school But I can’t complain I did not love you in vain But in summertime When the winter was mine And I picked you up In a car that I love And you starred that sky with the look on your face There’s no way time can erase That moment true Do you think I could hold it, do you Still feel that way At least some days When the spring is in your bones And you’re not too far from home I wonder do you Ever cacophony too To the sound of heat And matching up the head to feet I’m a little shy But I have to try To let you see That you mean the world to me And I ain’t playing I’m just saying There’s a wonder dream here You, to me, are so very dear And it’s crystal clear That I’ve come very close to near To saying that I love you well It’s deep and true and I will tell You, now that I know myself I can’t picture you with anyone else In the sky Would it be a lie To let you in And so let fate and trust begin I’m feeling soul At the ocean as the waves roll To the time of me You’re a heartbeat that set me free And I still prose For the life incandescent chose To run with the wolves And the longing pulls Me back to where you are Did tomorrow ever get you far As I like your status Like it really matters Coz it does to me You’re beautiful eternally
I’ve always lived with this panic I can barely contain
You can say what you want or give it a name
Call it anxiety or ocd
All I know is something’s following me
And it’s there in the midnight, it’s there in the dawn
Sometimes it stays quiet so I think that it’s gone
But it always returns
And, my Lord, it burns
Like a furnace or a glowing ember
More so in a dark December
You can called it depression or psychosis
Just a modern type of neurosis
And they hit me up with pills and drugs
But it don’t match one of your hugs
For bringing the stillness and quiet in me
One moment with you and I’m set free
And I know I can’t always be craving
Like a street that walks with the absence of paving
Or when the song of a bird signals the sky
I’m lost in this moment and I don’t know why
Til one day amongst the trees
I saw something I could barely believe
It was akin to heavenly light
And it says you will be alright
So I start skipping with the joy
Then see it reflected in a boy
As he is just passing by
For a moment, love, and I don’t know why
Coz Hayley throws all her castles down
And some people dream of a beautiful gown
But all I want’s this moment now
After all my trekking I find myself somehow
Back in the same place that I started
With more of depth the wise imparted
And grieving over loss has left
The coast that used to know me best
To set sail for another land
Where everything is understand
And unmapped and unplanned
The safety of the surest sand
As it gathers between my toes
I walked this beach for years, God knows
And externalized reality
It is the taste of the salty sea
That reminds me where you are
I would have wished upon a star
If I’d have known that you exist
In my honesty, I persist
To see it all come right round
And silence is the truest sound
As it enunciates the field
The grass grows slow to know to yield
As the fabric bends in certain places
And is 99% open spaces
Where you can go running free
It’s all awake atomically
It’s all vibrating in motion
A symbol for pure devotion
To the God that gave me life
Not just a man and his wife
But something surging in the air
I can feel its presence there
Only to exacerbate
The thing I feel that I hate
The storm that holds me by the toe
Then dips me in the rivers flow
Til I’m shouting let me go
But it knows better than I know
And asks more of me than I can refrain
From doing over once again
In certainty and acquiescence
Shining forth from the essence
Of its incandescent light
It whispers; love, you’ll be alright
I’ve finally realized I can talk to you again
When I gave up and they said, it’s just men
And I was banging my head against the wall
Coz we can’t communicate at all
And I’m screaming refrains out into the night
They look at me and wonder if I’m alright
Coz I’ve got you on my mind
But you weren’t so kind
And I vacated the premises
And you became a sort of nemesis
I chased in my dreams
And we’re walking on hollow beams
As we cross the room, under the ceiling
You said no and it send me reeling
Out into the dark
And the park
Never looked so lonely
And I was mourning for you only
As they dimmed the lights
Do we give up on our fights
As we storm the bastille
But how do you feel
When you lay your head down on a pillow
And I know I am weeping but it’s coz I’m a willow
It’s in my nature
And you left a crater
When you crashed to earth
I was grief stricken, more than hurt
Like I try to play even, I try to play calm
But you grabbed me by the arm
And wrote something there
I look in your eyes and I care
About our horizon
And you are something or so I’m surmising
As we drift apart
But still all heart
I hope you’re happy, I hope you’re well
But I love you still, let it go to hell
All my secrets spilled out on a screen
And you are the man I couldn’t even dream
You’re so perfect ensue
And what in the world do I mean to you
All the things we could do
Walk a mile in another’s shoe
Or sail a river down the stream
I know you’re the king but I am a queen
Of my own domain
Cry to the sky of making it rain
And plain
Are the words I speak to you
I want it back, if that’s okay, too
And you smile and my destiny dance
Do you think we could give love another chance
As it weaves between poles
Crafting the tapestry of our souls
Into a new stance
I felt the waves ocean advance
Into the shore
I can’t help but want you more
The trees just stand tall
They don’t go running around
And a leaf falls in silence
To land on the ground
And the age rolls on by me
It’s a calamitous affair
And I’m asked by my soul
To receive the prayer
That it is offering
Up to the sky
There is that that lives on
Even when we die
There is that that wakes
Even when we sleep
There’s no promise you can make
That it will not keep
And I’m walking the aisles
Of the ruin of me
Wondering if
The rain could be set free
As it pours in through
A hole in the roof
Living my life
Must be the proof
Of all that’s gone by
And all that’s yet to come
But if you look for this moment
You’ll find it is one
One with the dark
One with the dawn
One within
That can never be gone
That keeps on rolling
The hills and the valleys
The no we can’t’s
And maybe we, shall we’s
But in the end
It all comes down to this
Will you seize the moment
Or will you miss
It as it
Goes passing by
I’m sorry, my love
But I had to try
To win you over
And take my chance
Now I move with the wind
And watch the leaves dance
In a symphony
Of quietude
The noise subsides
And you’re a pretty cool dude
Who keeps me there
By a thread
I profess my love
You stay silent instead
And the roar of the ocean cannot drown out
The waves of me and my doubt
As I fail to see
What you’re asking for
I look at you
And I adore
Everything that is there to see
Could you picture you with me?
I’m tired of looking at you through a window
All it means is outside, could you let me in though
And the house we built has ivy growing
Up walls and ways, now it’s showing
And you’re inside
I’m in the garden and I hide
From your eyes
And years and years of futile tries
Do you abide in place with her
Deny everything that we never were
As I let you go
What’s water to do but flow
Along the riverbed
I remember everything that you said
And climb
Up to a place that’s beyond the mind
And safe
Like a locked box or a briefcase
And midnight filters through the trees
I’m high as a kite and have no need
For your number dear
You sent me under fear
To grow with the weeds amongst the grass
As if forever wouldn’t last
The whole night through
And all I was professing was you
In your healing balm
I smile and you ring the alarm
Say she’s crazy here
But I’m only crazy for you, dear
As I let it go
The love lost and don’t you know
Down to the shore
Is less the guess that’s speaking more
To the wind
And he grinned
From within his cage
I’m all butterflies to his rage
And flutter up a storm
It was the moment hope was born
A message from the past when the future gets bad
I left notes to myself and you know that I am glad
That the mountains they shake with the weight of the earth
And life grows up from the soil of the dirt
And we are all living and we are all breathing
There’s nothing but something we share in the needing
And the wind blows through the pipe with no beans
And I’m just kicking it in my blue jeans
Making songs for the summer and odes to the snow
There is no place I travel that I cannot go
But to interrupt a diamond mine
I’m throwing away what used to shine
To be rooted in ground like an anchor so deep
And I don’t need to shake what I take in my sleep
Coz the ocean is pure and it is profound
I thank my lucky stars that something drowned
In the midst of the terror that seemed to reside
In the shackles of me that I used to hide
But a new dawn breaks across the grass
And forever is timeless to ever last
As unspoken is wordless to the decree
And peace is all that we’ll ever be
Trying to get away from fourteen
The lightning strike to wake the dream
And I just wander in Gary’s halls
He’s seeing through summer and seeing through walls
As he paints a refraction of some kind of Grace
Always with his heart in open space
And I met him one time as I stood in the queue
And Johnny looked up and said how are you
And I couldn’t meet your eyes, your perfect gaze
Do you know all the people you save
With your slight of hand and dignified tone
Don’t ever feel that you are alone
Because sunshine is summer as your toes greet
The river that flows with the remnant of sleet
And everyone knows and everyone cares
But seldom is the one who dares
To take that splinter and show the sky
I know you said you’re afraid to die
But there’s something immortal, eternal in you
And I think that you might sense it to be true
As you sing with your whole heart and let the love be
You don’t know it but you mean the world to me
The times may be dark but they’re leading out
To a place beyond any doubt
Where you reside and live in peace
I can feel the place that the war cease
I can feel the summer beyond the tide
The place where true love will always abide
And it woke me with a start but I’m finally seeing
That there is a whole new way of being
And I thought you should know you were the sound
When there was nobody else around
To go calling out to or knocking on doors
I didn’t ask but you gave me more
And more than I could ever be
Open your eyes coz you can see
That Heaven is present in this moment abide
So don’t you ever feel you have to hide
Your darkness in the midst of all the snow
Your winter’s a place I love to go
And trip the light against the scene
The fabric of the universe is just a dream
And it will reveal itself to you
If you wait in the halls of I want to
And I guess I just felt I should let you in
On the joke that God has been playing
As I saw it in the sky that spring in school
That there is a wealth beyond the rule
That everyone lives by and swears their life
I found a place beyond and it is alright
And if you’re ever feeling misty and could use a refresh
There’s a place you can go, I’m sure you can guess
Hidden in the heart of every soul
Is the secret garden where you are whole
And you don’t need to fight and you don’t need to trouble
Don’t need to go bursting anyone’s bubble
Just find what you seek by looking true
The answer is waiting to be revealed to you
All it needs is a gentle hush
Like you’ve been pulling a door you’re supposed to push
Against to open up the day
I gotta say thanks to you, okay?
Coz you lifted me up and you were my friend
Amongst all the hollows I cannot amend
Amongst the shattered glass I stood up from
I didn’t mean the wait to be so long
As I gain strength and realise
That you can’t be caught in a web of lies
If you realise what’s true
It’s real and it’s talking to you
And if you can hear it it means that there
Is a faculty in you for the power of prayer
Of silent transmission, of deep and serene
People walk round like they know what they’ve been
Or what they decide to let go and be
The dreamer is waking up to see
That the love will always be home
And you never walk one single day alone
But always held and guided by
A beauty you don’t have to try
To see because it’s always there
I must let you know that there is care
In every spiraling galaxy whole
I love you with the strength of my soul
Photo by Bailey Zindel on Unsplash.com
You set fire to my soul
In the thunder as the waves roll
And I cannot forgive
The way things as it is
But something keeps a hold of my dress
The hem of it and I confess
That my marauding spirit has grown tired
As though the universe has conspired
To leave me at the door of you
And I will prove it to be true
That my heart beats a flame
And I don’t have to be tame
Or sit within the confines of
What I’ve been told to think of love
That you could star in my sky
I let it go and I don’t know why
I see diagrams unfold
When the splintered story’s told
And Heaven can’t hold itself back
As I give up on attack
Just to hold light to the touch
The fabric of a dress I love so much
And it’s spread like a sea over the land
And I know you understand
Me when I just inflect
And say, baby, my head is wrecked
Could you make it better with a simple smile
I admired you a long while
As we just slow and converse
I’m sorry if I’m weak and you’re a little terse
As I put it all in verse
The days of darkness getting worse
But he shone like the sun into a season
Loved me deep without needing a reason
And I can feel the wind blow my hair
With the freedom of he being there
And he says, my love, it’s nothing at all
And for once I’m not talking to a wall
But open arms and a heart to match
Like olden days with roof of thatch
As we just settle into a rhythm
He’s looking for an answer, does he know it is him
As he plays a Beatles tune
I’m glad that you were in the room
Even if I was all alone
And you hit me up on my iphone
And I regale you with my tales
Though your courage never fails
I can feel you deep and true
In your hands my lands are new
And I don’t know what we’ll be
Coz we’re lacking a history
But the present moment just resounds
And your full of quiet sounds
As you muse and contemplate
What might have me in this state
But the day is born with new light
And, honey, I am alright
I’ve spent years in this snow
And I know you want to know
But there’s no place I cannot go
I speak the words extra slow
So you know what I’ve been meaning
Everyone seems to be dreaming
And I awoke one sudden morn
It was as though I’d been reborn
And everything was as it is
And my heart and soul is His
The one who struck me from the sky
Now the impermanence can never die
As the changeful is consonant
And I don’t know what you want
Except to say I am okay
And you are my sunny day
In the overcast I know
It just took some time for the love to show
The Poetry Book 