Tag: life

The Golden Hearse

.Reading time 1 minute.
The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously 
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

Epiphany

.Reading time 1 minute.
I don’t know if it’s the meds or the enlightenment 
But I’m feeling detached
And it’s the kinda road there’s no way back
And I’m just standing in the queue
And the one I’m waiting for is you
And he’s singing his soul and I wish he was mine
Why do I do this all of the time 
Coz it’s impossible, he’s on the stage
And the girls are screaming like he’s all the rage 
And his hair is long and his locks are pretty
And I would love to rule this city
But he’s a triad long past going
I remember UCD when it was snowing
And the boy I loved back then
The fittest male on repeat again
As my heart tells me to be who I am
Like Kilglass chasing Sam 
For the thousandth time
I make my own pain rhyme
And it is longing and it is desire 
He sets my soul on fire 
With his softly so
There are deserts that I would go
Just to meet him at the gate
I dunno why I wait
For the perfect scene 
Like it could be in a dream
Like I made of you
But the urge is pulling the needle through 
And it’s sewing a seam
Threading a quilt with what’s spilt, it seems 
And the love’s in the wanting
But there’s something in me that’s haunting 
Every step I take 
It’s what happens when the demon wake

This Haunted House

.Reading time 1 minute.
We’re both ghosts
In this haunted house
And Wednesday’s child
Is full of self doubt 
As she rolls in woe
And you tell me to just let go
Say you’ve moved on and that you’ve got a girl
A job with the boys, moving up in the world
And I’m living with my parents and lost in the stars
Throwing rocks at walls coz they’re prison bars 
That hold us back from who we really are
And I’d love to have you by my side in my car
As I go deeper spiritually
But is it just the delusion that is drawing me
As maya plays her screen on my face
And I grow tired of growing old in this place 
And it’s in its infancy, this brutal tide
Death is a wellspring to nourish alive
Coz the water is deep and the water is pure
And it’s the only thing that we know for sure 
The impermanence of form, the willful whistle
When you roll down the grass but you land on a thistle
That is fighting it out just to survive
Feel your breath lift and know you’re alive

Remember Me, Love

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Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

The Age Of Him

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Cruising at 35,000 feet
I’m on the ground, I can’t stand the heat
As it’s burning through my clothes and skin
The rage, the page, the age of him
As he’s darkly circumspect
And I’m the weakness you know best
As you ruminate your heel
I know the ways you cannot deal
In singing songs and infidelities 
In formation like a flock of geese
And I’m weary at the knees
Trying my best to please
But you just turn your head
No empty space in your bed
But someone else instead
I think the trauma’s going to my head
As you ashen faced tell me the truth
I drop the pillars of our youth
And they fall asunder
Did you know death had your number
When he rang your phone
Now I am all alone
And won’t come to your door
Because I couldn’t want you more
But you left me like a sleep
Like I’m a problem you can’t keep
Close to your chest 
Does your lover know you best
And is it her or me
I don’t know, I’ve got to see

The Age of the Airbender

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Do you see yourself in my refractions
And are these words more than transactions
Coz I can’t spell out what we seem to be
And it’s been years that you’ve blamed me
For something that is not my fault
Like pulling tracks from the vault 
Like you’re a songstress with a pen
And I land at your door once again
With a bouquet of apologies
If you want I’ll ask from my knees
Coz you are age old and awesome
You’re a kaleidoscope 
And it’s a slippery slope
Back into what we always were
It’s always my name next to her
And it’s not all roses in this flower bed
But I’m still a place you can rest your head
And lean on if you need strength
And I return the books you rent
Coz you loaned them to me
And you are my degree set free
In moderation, that is key
As we peer through our history
The faint light we used to be
Is now a river running free
Cause there are oceans calling us
And you’re a love that I trust
To always come back around
You be silence in the sound

Going Out Dancing

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Going out dancing
Used to be my meditation
A welcome adjunct 
To my education
Now I stare at times gone by
And wonder how I 
Could entertain 
A world I have lost in vain 
And I look upwards into the rain
Has the love been replaced by pain
Or is the pain just a symbol of
A holy white, a dove
Coming to rest on my shoulder
Making it impossible to carry the boulder 
Up another hill
We do not need skill 
To roll the dice
Life doesn’t happen twice 
It happens Now 
And even reincarnation somehow
Is only a reiteration of the fact
The past is gone and you can’t get it back 
The future has not and will never come 
And the heart of life is just One

L.A. Anymore

.Reading time 1 minute.
I don’t go to L.A. anymore
Not since the person locked the door
And I begged outside the window
I never did catch sight of him though
And I can be cutting in my remarks
And we were nothing if not all sparks
But I had to leave my coat on the grass
To climb up to the height of what you ask
As you kneel to kiss me slowly
And I could’ve sworn you didn’t know me
Except the moment I looked away
And you bow your head, I don’t know what to say
Except that maybe if I profess
And throw away my little black dress
That maybe you might relent
You’re an angel, heaven sent
But I have my own pair of wings
They shelter me whatever the weather brings
And I feel I have to hold back from you
Coz I don’t know what to do
And maybe is it okay
If I touch you that way
Run my hands down your arms
The length of you between my palms
And you are tall to be sure
And my love is deep and pure
Or so I’ve been told
Is it alright if I put your name in bold
While I write it next to mine
I think about it all the time
That maybe you might meet me by the shore
Or the rivers I adore
Not always hanging out in the city
See an equal not self pity
And fly out from the X 
The wilderness what’s coming next

The Material Dimension

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Stop trying to be something I’m not
Watch as you miss a clear shot
As you stare into my eyes
Your deep blues like the wilderness of skies
And am I crazy to stay hung up on you
Thinking of things that we could do
With the lights turned off
As we spend nights where our clothes get lost
And I know it’s taboo but it’s also touché
If I’d have known the significance of that day
And that one day I’d want to have kids
With your smile flipping the lid
On all I’ve got cooking up a storm
And it’s your breath that keeps me warm
As you lie next to me
Sighing slowly intentionally 
Just to drive me wild once more
I’m still knocking at the door
And don’t make me implore
That I want you as much as before
So we can make mini me’s
I couldn’t see the expanse of trees
And would you maybe dance with me
If I look at you so physically
And if I blush would you turn red
As we share the same bed
It’s just a dream I have on lock 
I know it’s something that I’m not
Or at least what I try to be
Are you still staring at me
Well, what you got under those lids
Do I care enough to call myself his
As our hands intertwine 
Maybe, baby, I’ll call you mine

In One

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Mercury’s in retrograde
And Irish people call a spade a spade 
Coz you know that morbid humor 
Isn’t gonna make it get you any sooner 
And I’m poised between a perfect spin
And in my mind I’m dancing with him
On an empty street
Oh, how I cursed the stars that meet
Us on the street or on the bus
There was just that feeling of trust
As I let myself believe
And I watch you hide your hands up your sleeve 
That morning in the Mall
Want to take a walk or shall
We just stare at each other across a mirage 
And I draw lines across your visage 
That will one day be a wrinkle in time 
But you’ll never stop being fine
As I watch you live your life with someone else
You advise me it’s best to take care of my mental health 
Coz you know stability is a wealth
So I smack the camera out of your hand
I will be grand 
Just not knowing
Coz I’m not finished growing
Gardens in my mind 
And they’re not well tended or left behind 
They are veritably wild 
And in my heart I’m still a child 
And I scoff in the face 
Of the rules that you chase 
So go ahead, be normal
Address me in a tone that’s formal
Coz you don’t have the time 
To watch my stellar shine
And maybe you were just afraid 
Coz, you know, that “bitch”, she slayed 
And all the lines that they encase
Won’t find you that dream you chase
Of 2.5 and a car
Don’t you ever wonder what we are 
And reincarnation kinda resembles the setting sun
But do you think we could get it in one
Coz this axis is an endless spin
And Nirvana revealed itself to him
When I let him into my sphere 
Now we are ever near
Like two orbiting souls 
Planets ruled by the poles 
But what is this non dual understanding 
All I know is you were commanding
My attention when you suggested
That we go get arrested
Just for the hell of it
Who am I sharing my heart with?
But I can’t help the laugh that escapes 
And not all superheroes wear capes 
But you sure do
Could I kick it with you 
In the summer of our age
I think I’m gonna need another page 
To get this down 
I won’t wear a gown
But in a t-shirt and jeans
I met the man of my dreams

My Greatest Defeat

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You are my greatest defeat
I just fall at your feet
And open up the midnight in the dawn
I look to my side and you are long gone 
And I’ve mountains to climb
But there were oceans of you being mine
Just settling down with a kid on the way
What is it that people say
“You’ll understand when you’re older”
But your gravity makes me bolder
Bold enough to refuse 
The point you want to prove 
With your gravelly voice
As if I even had a choice
To choose my own oppression 
And this is my confession
You always felt like a weight to carry
This guy who sorta wants to marry
Me at half my age
There’s ink enough to fill the page
With the stories that I make of us
Pencil marks on broken trust
Coz I just rewrite the story
Think of me in all of my glory
Just asking you to stay the night
You ask me if I’m alright
And I am but I’m sorta not 
The tilted stage is a lot
And is it every relationship 
Soldiers that war equip
To hold out on each other strong
I didn’t do anything wrong
It just wasn’t meant to be
Back then, but now I see
The fluorescent in the neon light
I don’t let you outta sight
And I was queen until we meet
Hold on, I’ve got another sheet
I’ve got to fill
You forget but I never will

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

The Avenues

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Which would be worse
That you move to Australia 
Or that I meet you on the street
And the words they might fail ya
As you present 
Your wife and kids
And I must contend 
With the life that’s his
And I let it go at eighteen
And I’ve been trying to right the dream
Ever since
I wince
When I think of all the truth I spilled
Out from my soul like it is killed
And I know he knotted threads
Wore them thinner as I lay in bed
With fear in my throat
If you burn a witch would she float 
And I can’t fight with this great swathe of sea
As it’s all pouring through me 
Like a vessel in the storm
Giving voice to the cold meets warm
And there’s really nothing stopping the flow
When you know you just let go

It Was More Than That

.Reading time 1 minute.
It was a grapevine fire that caught onto you
And I didn’t want you to know I was staring through
A portal into another world
How did I not see that you had a girl
And all my detective, all my sleuth
Building pillars of time upon our youth
And they had me admitted to a psych ward
I just look at you when I’m bored
And it makes me smile 
Then Emmett crashes in for a while 
With his clipboard and pen 
Could you say that again 
Like I said to you
The pain in your eyes was pushing me through
The eye of a needle so fine
God, I wish we would’ve had more time
Til the separate 
Would you call it fate
Or just say it’s my fault 
That a heart’s not made to be locked in a vault
And let out on special occasions 
Jesus, what are those abrasions 
Did you roll down a hill
He tells the truth but I never will
In his company 
And he just acts the fool with me 
And I feel whole 
I didn’t realise I’d found my soul

Sit and Stare

.Reading time 1 minute.
I sit and stare at the grand abyss
Coz I don’t even miss
You now you’re gone
And I never said so long
Never got a chance 
Almost asked you to the dance 
If I had’ve would you still be here 
A butterfly flaps its wings and the sky clears 
And I remember I had a dream 
The night before 
I had fallen through the floor 
Into the water
Like someone’s daughter
And someone’s son, the father 
Tries to save you from the sea
And I woke up, to a degree,
To realise it was imagined 
Relief 
Then the crashing thief
You’re not lost under a boat 
But neither does hope float
And they’re turning it off 
At twelve noon
And every second is a second too soon
But, God, is there no hope
I cry tears into the side of my coat 
Coz I don’t feel worthy of
The dregs of pain that accompany love
When you’re eighteen 
And no longer in the dream

The Dream Will Realise

.Reading time 1 minute.
Would you ever just be mine
Coz I’m tired all of the time
And she looks slinky in that mini dress
Seductive coz she’s not trying to impress
Just being her own dear self
And you can only guess the wealth
Beneath her skin 
But do I, do I let him in 
And he comes close to the door
Knocks and asks me to open it a little bit more 
But I hesitate
And it’s not coz I wanna make you wait 
It’s just coz I
Already know what it is to die 
It woke me up
Some kind of love
Like taking your first breath above
The water when you are born
Did you know the sun is warm
Coz I never felt it til that day
It cascaded in the window 
Now it’s shining from him though
And I can’t make it stop
It’s ticking like a body clock
Down to its inevitable conclusion 
Could you tell me where is the confusion 
In telling me how you felt 
Like butter you melt
On the pavement before 
The train station I abhor

Heaney’s Shovel

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Here is my pen like the blade of a knife
As it furrows through earth already turned twice 
And there is treasure within, I can hear it call
And all of the problems are not there at all
As I open air in the core of my being
I know there is something here worth seeing
And they tell me lies but they believe
In all of the strings that hang from my sleeve
And I’m just untwining a tapestry
So the threads might be able to run free
And make themselves a masterpiece
Not somebody else’s picture to learn to crease

Big Fish

.Reading time 1 minute.
I look at the big fish
Thinking he's such a dish
But he's only catching flies
In the interval between the birth that dies
And yet I can sense even in him
A light that shines within
And the dark is threatening summer
So I switch off the lights and hear that drummer
That calls to me to speak my mind
Share my soul and my life in kind 
And I somehow know that this will come true
Because I have ultimate faith in you
To be and bring all I have to know 
I hold on to let go
Of what is not real or true
But the beef with this is that I pay my due 
A hundred times over in advance
And everyone is in a sort of trance
I click my fingers and 
Lose sight of an hourglass worth of sand 
But time is nothing new
Just the force of gravity working on you
As your skin folds down
And slowly sinks into the ground 
And you call that the end
I call it another friend
That just shows you that the permanent 
Is not held in the thing that went
But in the eternal, immutable soul
I spin the hands on the clock and fold

Oceanic Life

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Oceanic life, I can feel the drown
Rising up when I’m outta town
It’s like a vast submerge
Has me on the verge
Of saying exactly what I mean 
And punching a hole in the dream
That I built so carefully
And I’m sure they don’t see
But the forces of unconsciousness move to contain
What they suspect might be rain
And I’m coming down in a deluge 
And it’s like my heart is the centrifuge 
Of the whole storm 
And I’m both cold and warm
As the fronts meet each other
And somehow I found a brother
Who connected on the level I chose
Coz all of them are lined up in little rows 
And I draw outside the lines
I replay it a thousand times

Rooting Fir

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
https://pin.it/4FP8SDa
The tree beds down deep in my soul
And I’m as icy as the North Pole
On a summer evening
It’s global warming but are you believing 
The stories they weave
And it’s cotton wool I have up my sleeve
No knife to stab you in the back
No hatred to make an attack
On what is perfect pure
You loved me but you weren’t sure
That you could trust the branch to bough
But I’ll come close if you allow
Me near your cistern heart
The one that fills before it starts
To empty out
And the earth quakes with your doubt 
As you mean it all to me
Could you be my long lost sea

Paper Trains

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https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

The Bungalow By The Woods

.Reading time 1 minute.
https://pin.it/22sQbdh
I run but there’s no race that I win 
I walk away but I think of him
Every single day
Was there really no other way
To handle things
And my heart sings
When the memory rises
And my surprises 
To find him there
And find he care
Surpasses all my man made doubt
And a life learned to live without
Like holding back the air
I need to breathe and I care
About what happens to you
I would love to reach out to 
You across the great divide 
But I fear the rebuff and I hide 
My secrets away so safe
And I used to be a little waif
In hunger with what she couldn’t live
I hope that you forgive
Me for my transgression
Why does this feel like a confession
When I’m at a loss as to what to say
So I make something up by the way
And feel all the penance that’s due
I just want to be worthy of you 
But you won’t see me no more
I knocked and the door 
Opened and closed in my face
Did you know this used to be my place

Colour Splash

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
https://pin.it/3C8qjPn
Taylor’s bringing it home
She opened the door when I was all alone
And let in a little light
I fight it out but I’m alright
As I say to the seasons 
That this love is without reason
As I shudder to a halt
She lets six more out of the vault 
And they run riot in the scene
She’s painting colour in the dream
As the grey gets a splatter of paint
I see the One and I faint
And on the floor in Room One
I know what it is to walk the Son
In feet that are his and mine
He carries me across the beach that fine
Summer’s day in the winter of my life
I smile because I am alright

Not That Bad

.Reading time 1 minute.
Do we just settle for not that bad
When she’s the best you’ve ever had
And I’m walking down lines and roads
Kissing princes, they turn into toads 
And I’m way past what I used to be
I wish I could’ve looked forward to see
Where that path might lead
And all the aggrandizement that made me bleed
When it was one need
And the law says take heed, take heed 
Of all that you don’t know where
And maybe people do care
It’s just that you could‘nt see
I reach out and say; it’s me
As the soft of his voice reminds me of your arms 
And we grew up on separate farms 
In rural Irish ways
And I don’t care what anyone says 
You’re still the one for me
I loved you so I let you go free
Now I just want to capture
Evince a state of rapture
That might never be known
And I want to love, don’t want to own
If that’s okay with you
I’m gonna wait coz I want to

Changing Me

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
https://pin.it/5qDYMI4
I’m a bit different
But I’m still the same
Growing up
Without a name
And I know I was immature 
And harsh as hell
And pushed away
Anyone who wanted to tell
Me how to live my life
2.5 kids and a wife
And now he’s got all that
And all I have is to want him back
And it’s a flailing in the water drunk
It’s a commerce cost that’s sunk
Like the coconut on the veranda
And I wrote a poem about Amanda
Because she reminds me of you
I left but it wasn’t coz I wanted to

Amanda’s Dream

.Reading time 1 minute.
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Driving through town and I think of Amanda
She was into the emo scene
And her hair was long
Like a fucking queen 
And I try to emulate what I saw back then 
Seventeen 2.0 again 
And I wonder where he is
If he has a wife and kids
I used to check his deets 
Before I admitted utter defeat
And the family life always seemed empty
Like why would you when you’re good looking and twenty
But when you’re thirty three and laying waste
Everyone seems to say; make haste, make haste
And I’m like a rock in the river, it just flows by
And it might be a long time before I die
And forty looks scary as hell
Do you grow up or lose life as well
Coz age hasn’t changed the core of peace
And forgiveness might be the only release
For what she did to me
If you wake up are you free
Or do you deal with encumbrance still
Going through a dark night of the will

Still In My Soul

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I was there
The day 
They took you away
And this song was playing
On the car ride home
Do you feel alone?
Coz the pavement always reflected the sun
And the sky was a burning one
As I walked in the gate
Was it just fate
Coz I can’t think of a reason
The season
Is winter and so much snow
I swore I’d never let you go
As my hands tremble against the pillar 
And daily life is like filler
When you’re gone
I hold my breath for so long
Just to prove
I feel what it is to lose
Your golden hair
I remember you and I were there
That Sunday outside the Church 
And, I dunno, I just love you so much
I was gonna ask you to
But I lost the nerve that checked on you
And I never suspected
I never preempted 
The basin that emptied
The moment she said your name
It cascaded and the blame
Of grief and guilt and pain and loss
Try to show me who’s boss
But you surface holding my hand
As I tell you ‘bout the boy in the band
But it’s through tear stained cheeks
The valleys and hills as the glacier weeps
It’s way through the parish we were born to know
I never thought I’d lose that smile though
I still feel it’s radiance on me
You always let me run free
In the playground we silent share
At the range as you stood there
Somewhere, somehow by my side
How dare they say you’re not alive
When I feel you ever near
Shining like a crystal clear
And you know me just a little bit
But somehow you still stay with
Me throughout the years
And I would drink an ocean of uncried tears
Just so that it’s real
This isn’t just something that I feel
I don’t know how to deal
But somehow I do
Even if it’s not with you
And the bitterness 
And fears and foe 
Come regardless of what I let go
As I fight to find
A place I can’t leave my love behind
And I think I found it 
It’s tentative but it’s true
And it resounds with the power of you
As you sing in the echo of the hall 
Bouncing off the far wall
It only serves to resound the call 
That makes me write for you
The silence is pure but it pours into
Every syllable you didn’t say
I’d walk to you if there was no other way

Dropping The Bass

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One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door 
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men 
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun

The Slow Wither

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The slow wither
Like a flower losing its leaves
And I can’t comprehend 
How anyone believes
In a God of good things
In a loaded gun
Everything in creation 
Screams that it is One
And I’m not exactly Buddhist
And Christian loses lustre 
I’m mad busy at work
Trying not to get in a fluster
And then the peace comes
In a moment of prayer
I kneel before the altar
And I hear that I Am There
And I’m glad I keep something of you
Coz the body it is taken
And I can only hope that Heaven
Is there when you waken
Into your new life
At the foot of the hill
There’s a lot I have let go
But somethings I never will
Like your kindness and your smile
And the way you’re always there
I never doubted for a moment
That you truly care
And all I have left
Or so it seems
Is what I collected 
Hiding in moonbeams
But your presence comes to state
That simply isn’t so
You only come to wisdom 
In the instant you let go
And you can’t fake the fire
You barely contain
But just because you’re angry
Don’t mean you should fight the rain
As I lean into your essence
That has always felt like home
I’m sitting in solitude 
But I’m not alone
Coz you’re everywhere around me
In the midnight and the dawn
Don’t have to wait for death
Because you are not gone
And seeing you again
Is just to see you now
The walls have fallen down
And it’s because of you somehow

Interpretations

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Can psychosis be precocious 
Or is it just kundalini
Is it love or does it just demean me
Like the woman said on the tv
I’m four years old and I cut my knee
I still have the scar
At 64 will that be what you are
Just another favor of my youth
Oh, time can be such a brute
It offers you the sky
But with a catch, you die
In the end or before your time
I’m hesitant so I rhyme
To make sense of things 
Meaning out of broken wings
And I was in a tight enclosure 
Thought I’d die from exposure
To the sun
Coz there’s this light shining from everyone
And the man passed my bed
I thought I’d pass out instead 
Coz I was just riding the vibe
Living (coz I am alive)
And he thought it was the bathroom glare
There were no locks in there
And they would bang on the door
And say; “just doing the check”
And I’m just some ship you wreck
With your foreign shore
Why the hell do I want more
Instead of less
It’s like some sort of undress
When my soul is bare
And you found the thread that started the tear
I got in your head and wound up in there
Where they parcel the joy
But I exchange it for a boy
I just found by the side of the road
I said to leave down the load
Even just for a moment, in my presence
And I could feel his essence
Start to fly
I hope I don’t die
Before I see him again
And I break my rule on men

Syllables

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That single syllable that’s uttered inside
Does it go away when a person has died
That resounding Om
Does it disappear or does it just go home
And the gong, it rings
The spirit sings
And we are entrapped in everythings 
Like diamonds, jewels, bands of gold
What you buy and what isn’t sold
I left the mountain I hold so dear
I abandoned a friend and it’s crystal clear
That I did her wrong
And her song
Sings to me in the darkest night
Lord, I hope she is alright
Because she had to fight fire and bone
Stand up straight when she was all alone
And she’s always been something like home
Though I no longer stare at my phone
Hoping something will come through
And that I might hear from you
Like the days of yore
And what we all were before
The crystal glass cracked and shattered
Like a cod we’re a little bit battered
And I don’t pretend to entertain
What you lived out in vain
But the rain
Falls on all of us
And trust
Is not something you can break
When it is constant and for my sake
The glistening
Of a bird on the wing
As it shoots through the sky
Suspended between what will and will not die
Will always rise
And the horizon
Will always shine
It is minute but it is mine

Forever Shenanigans

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Forever shenanigans
Last longer than war
And when you're wondering what it's all for 
Look to your right and I'll be there
She thinks I don't care
But it's not that 
I just like him back
In a way I can't explain
It's like the falling rain
Doesn't give a reason why
And I'm terrified because I know that I 
Must suffer everyone to die
Til the day that I pass
And I'm not sure that even that last 
Coz, you know, reincarnation
Or heaven and hell and the tv station
Seems to reinforce that kind of show
And I can't let go 
Of all that passes like water through my hands
Like hourglass teaches the sands
To look like they fall
But you just turn the damn thing over and all
The story starts again
And you know that men
Look like they have it on lock
But when you look in their eyes they're not
All they appear to be
And I love that he's free
But, still, to me
He's the same old warrior I met
In a year I won't forget 
Coz it was almost past an hour
When I was overpowered
By the loss of a soulmate, friend
One moment you're fine
The next, the end
And you were at that show, in blue
And I spent time thinking of you
Til I was broken by the way of it all
At the lake, then a freefall
Into what I can't control
And I won't play the role
Of a faithful wife
Or a critic cynical about life 
I just gotta say
That it seems true that to go away
Is to come home
But I was never alone

The Terrifying Moment Of Us

.Reading time 1 minute.
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The loss means taking a hit
You think it means nothing but I feel every bit
Of pain you inflict
And I can call you a dick
But it doesn’t change the feeling inside
All I do is hide
It from prying eyes
But there’s a time when the disguise
Is a weight to bear 
And I tie up my hair
Because it’s too long
And your song
Still rings in my ears
Throughout the years
Of uncried tears
And I’m just sitting in my car at the Mall
Thinking of the time you called me pal
And I can’t get back that day
And it’s in everything you Say
That we can’t hold ourselves back from the bridge
That holds us over the river 
Do I forgive her
For the darkness that she opened
Like a Pandora’s box
But something undid the locks
And I can credit her with something she did not
Know she was doing
And all these dreams I’m pursuing 
Are just ways I escape 
From Superman’s red cape
As it tries to cover me 
And tell me I’m free
But I’m sad and I’m weak
I remember days I couldn’t speak
For want of crying 
Why is everyone dying
Slowly, then all at once
Kinda like how you fall in love

Death And The End Of Things

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Death and the end of things
Did it clip my broken wings
Coz I saw it in every facet
Of a diamond hue
And counted down the days
Until it would take you
And now I’m thirty three
One day it’ll take me 
Away from the world of form
The world into which 
I was born 
And it was midnight when I realised
That everything I loved died
On the street that day
And it’s not okay
To just say
That all things end
And love’s around the riverbend
Coz they never seem to care
About what isn’t there
Where it once was 
And I got angry just because
I couldn’t change it
Couldn’t change anything 
So I find the lungs to sing
The song you taught me all those years ago
And it doesn’t take snow
To preserve a body cold
What happens to us when we get old
Do we live in regret
Replacing what hasn’t happened yet 
Coz the time has piled
And all the miles 
We go from the place where we were
And nothing can replace her
Not as hard as it tried
The world is full of lies
But there is a truth that just fails
To catch the wind that set my sails
Upon a foreign sea
Are you still watching over me
Or is it just rueful fate
I love and It forgets the hate

Solipsis

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The sun is shining
The leaves are green
And I thank you for 
All that you have been
In the midnight stars 
Or ocean blues
I see you in
Sunset hues
And when the dawn 
Comes for the day
I thank you for
What's gone away
And what has risen
In its place 
I'm home again
In open space

Steven On The Stillorgan Road

.Reading time 1 minute.
I think you are beautiful, I think you're a star
You really don't know how lovely you are
And I'd love to look at you and see you within
Your soul forms a shape and its constellating
And your eyes they are diamonds that shine from your core
I'd love to love you and then a little bit more
And your face draws my gaze but I don't want to stare
All I know is that I know you are there
And you don't fade away and you do not flinch
In the years that have passed you have not moved an inch
And we may be old and weary on the bone 
But I know in your presence I am not alone
And I wish I could spend some time by your side
Kiss the ground that you walk because you walk alive 
Shrink the violets to colour the room 
Thank you for coming not a minute too soon 


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Ultramarine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Saving orcas down by the pond
And you didn't know but I waited there til you were gone
And you'll never see
But I wanted to ask if you would marry me
With your poetic stare
You captivate people who aren't even there
And I missed the day you filmed with your latest band
And laughed out loud and said it'll be grand
Cause you've got that mysticism 
Carving a river with the blades of a prism 
And bending lines of truth like light through the water
I was afraid to be such a daughter
Because you are like no one else
And your hand magnetises atoms the molecules felt 
As you hold me close
Not with arms but a holy ghost
And you be company
In the darkest night when guns ignite you sat next to me
In midnight blues
That turn into mornings that can't handle you
Cause you are so delicately fine
And I'm afraid I will crush in the vice of my love what I want to be mine
But you are not for the taking
You've got your own soul mixed with the rock and roll of the path you are making
You beat your own track
And I fear I will never cross your piercing endeavour on my way back
Now you've got a success life
And I'm just a drifter who wonders if you missed her cause you said I was nice
I guess I never felt enough
To fill the chasm or the hole in the depths of your soul with a glass bottle love 
You are magic beams
When I wonder if this earth is all that I'm worth you speak to my dreams
I wish I was like you
So fearlessly true
And unafraid
Yes I confess, you marked the spot
Where the Last Airbender won't fail to remember what you thought she forgot 
I hold a star for you
And I plot the chart of my constellation heart every night that comes through
Stay forestry amid the plain
I cracked the stone and I let the rain

Double Doors

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Siena’s tried cocaine
I tried to numb the pain
With all the alcohol
But I’m just throwing bricks at the wall
Hoping that they stick 
Don’t be a dick
About it
Wasn’t I right to doubt it
Now I see you in her arms
And none of your charms
Can weasel your way back to me
Just take that jack to the wheel and see
I’m not for the changing
And all the flowers fading
Don’t mean that summer’s gone
Another year and this song
Will be played
What you say
Don’t mean a thing
And another ring
To hold my finger tethered to your soul
And the waves don’t crash to your rock and roll
Anymore
You see that door 
It opens from the inside out
And my mouth
Is not somewhere you find yourself
I am no Christmas elf
To deliver parcels to your tree
I just want you to be free with me
And let it go
I followed you just so you know

The Pain Of Mankind

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The guy cheats on his girl
With a woman he’s made his world 
And I see the flicker in his eyes 
That is the tell in his disguise
As she tries to put distance between
Me, her, him and the dream
And it’s not like I own the dude 
But do I intrude
To ask my boo
If he’s been making love to you
Behind my back
He sees the threat and he attack 
Me for all my voice can tell
And it reaches out to you as well 
And it’s like the storm knows what is
And you were never his
Just like he was never mine
Just a way I did time

Galaxies

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Coming down from the sky
Wondering if I’m gonna die 
As the wings catch air
And a shudder ripples in there
How does a flight
Set enough fire to ignite
A storm in me
And history
Is nothing new
So stars are spilling from the space that’s you
A galaxy, a kaleidoscope 
And Regina begins to hope
As she crawls up off the floor
Why is to know you to adore 
The shawl you clasp around your shoulder
And we’re not getting any older
Only more well versed in the scene
Even if the whole thing is a dream
To be deciphered by a sleuth like me
To know me is to set me free

The Broken Girls Club

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Welcome to the broken girls club
Admission is free
But it will cost you more
Than you ever thought it could be
And is it just an excuse that we get to use
To say we can’t live up to the point you prove
With pen on paper
And the people who hate her
Cutting like incisors
Labeled as survivors 
When it’s just a midnight rush
That is tender to the touch
That spirals out into infinity
Are you listening to me 
At all
And I hit a wall
Or bedrock
As you claim to be what I am not

The Salty Air

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The idea I came into being
The idea I go is sometimes freeing
But more than that is the pane of glass
That I watched one day just smash
As I looked across the reflection
It had conjured up
And though it was weak
It was born of love
And salty air caught my nose
It wasn’t something I ever chose
But would I go back
To buying into the sense of lack
That is so endemic
Long before the pandemic
Came to take lives from our shore
How much you lose is how much you adore
And I stared at him from across the stage
Riveted from the page
He had used to ink
The passing stream they call “to think”
And the joy just burst
Like a balloon in my thirst
And I hungered for air
That moved just because you were there 
Can you rivet an eye
And please explain why people die
If you can
Just a man 
But somehow more
I woke up Wednesday on the floor

Choppy Seas

.Reading time 1 minute.
The non Christian nature of my poems
Not rooted in love and charity
But the turmoil of a soul well oiled
I writhe in confusion
Is this a calling?
Am I meant to put pen to paper
And write out the storm
The crackle of firelight keeps me warm
But it pushes others away
Because even the best
As separate can’t stay
Only in the groundswell
In the depths of our origin
Are we one
Beyond the surface reality
Of seeming appearances
We share that underlying wellness
That defines all time
Sets a clock ticking 
And a person to mime
As though ocean days were all they had
In forests and grey hairs
We’re getting older
And I wish someone would’ve told her
That it was all okay
Oh, leave it up to me!
I turn the key
And set you free

A Little Bit Longer

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The hate boils like oil in my throat
A corrosive on the metal you float
When you send it out to sea
Don’t count on it if you rely on me
Coz man I am no steam train
But I swear if you use that phrase again
I might just pop my cork
The road less travelled and the fork 
Is driving me half insane
Did you just use my name
To describe a certain state of mind
But it’s the world I leave behind
When I step out on the bridge
It’s like a Rocky Mountain ridge
As I traverse these perilous seas
That would have anyone on their knees
But I am not designed to please
Only be truthful and real
Do you know what you tried to steal?

Pondering My Life

.Reading time 1 minute.
Sitting in a New York café
Wondering whose gonna win the day
Is it me or my fear 
I shake because the doom was near
And it pulled me far away from the storm
Do you think the sun is warm
Or is it just faking it’s heat
But I can feel it on my feet
As my toes shake sand 
Out of the knots in my hand 
Like a well worn tree
He left and then never met me
And I gotta find God
Do you venerate the Lord
And is it just another symbol
Or can you see out the window 
To where the grass is green 
Something in me has always been
And will abide
I don’t have to hide 
From the shirking of weight
They call it luck, I call it fate

Impermanence

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Can death happen
Or is it just another ruse
An illusion designed to confuse
Us here on earth
We grow from the dirt
With the bodies we weave
And everything else is up our sleeve
In resident dread
I wake for God’s sake and deny him instead
My acceptance
Like the rejection 
Could be anything to him
The pain just pushes me to go within
And find the source
Of grief that runs without remorse
Down the window pane
Is it gonna happen again
Or do I know
Now that I am letting it go
That no iron can strike
The open mic
That shouts my name
She left and nothing is the same

Sony In My System

.Reading time 1 minute.
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady
And I dunno but I think that she hates me
For intruding on their sacred space
But he was a drug I loved to taste 
And the hit was high
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
Like it’s a final sort of end
Or worse maybe we’re still friends
And he could call me pal
But I’m not a second best sort of gal
I’d rather cut my losses and run
Find something else that shines the sun
And who knows, maybe it’s not a man
Maybe there’s no limit to what I can 
Do
It’s just not you
And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony
Listening to that guy that’s lonely
And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note
Give him letters that he can quote
Like before
When he beat a path to my door
Only for me to fly
And the year the whole world threatened to die
In a storming cavalcade
Is it a fate we can evade 
Or is it an absolute rest
We get the day before the test

Somewhere Clandestine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Stuck in ‘08
It was my date with fate
As it led me to your door
Did you want me more
More than I can attest
And we’re both fully dressed
But I feel your eyes rake over me
Like we’re naked with destiny
Just us and the come what may
And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say
But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding
But there’s something of love that is all abiding
Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else
With skin so thin you could make a heart melt 
With the fire that burns off you
It seared a part of me too
And I can’t change the fact of you
I’m not the same and neither are you
But we both kinda are
Like the atoms forged in a star
Or the matter that make time and space
Bend the equivalent of the human race
To the tune of light refract
I never said no but I still want you back
Standing outside my window
It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though
And I cannot deny my feelings were real
With the depth of the red that he deal
An ace of hearts
And mine almost starts
To beat double time
He was the essence of fine
As he’d crack a smile in my direction
Like he’s open to cards if I make selection
And he lives just across the hall
And he kinda caught the ball
When I threw it at him
Is it a decision I cannot win
Coz I love them all 
The truth in my own freefall

Live In It With Me

.Reading time 1 minute.
I've got a house by the coast
And I'd like you to live in it with me
I know we've had our differences 
But would you just forgive me
Coz you're like the rain 
Thundering on the roof
You're like the love
The myth and the proof
And I've seen so long
The years of doing it so wrong
And you're over there
But you've got to know that I still care
As her lashes weave
Everything you might believe
Up the edges of your sleeve
Like the heart you keep on lock or leave
And I hold it so tight
Because you are alright
You know, 
And I go
And seek the forest in the trees
It's not everyone that believes
But somewhere in the sidelines 
I know that you do
I've got a home for us
Well, for me and you

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Incognito Window

.Reading time 1 minute.
Incognito window, I’m under the radar
I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar
But I know that I can make planets spin
With the love that’s inside and the peace within
And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees
There are no words for the wonder it frees
When the weight just drops
The what you are’s in the space the love’s got
And I am not a mountain but I am not hill
I can move power with the strength of will
And she never helped me out
But I guess that’s just the space in doubt
To be forgotten or held so close
Do you see through what I love the most
Or must I just let it die
Not be afraid to spill tears and cry
Over what is yet to come
And a woman takes away the man’s son
What can you do but acquiesce 
The movement’s in the way you dress
And shoulder weight like diamond mines
I’d let it go coz it’s fine
In the sunshine and the rain
I don’t think that I can do this again
So I relinquish the right to be wrong
And open heart into a song
To make it alright again
I give up on the world you spin