Tag: impermanence

Surreptitious

.Reading time 1 minute.
Is she trying to get away from the tide
As the waves crash sand and abide
And once they’ve broken there’s no way to put them together again
And do you think the weather could be my friend
As I watch the stormy sky rolling in over the bay
I’ll be myself if that’s okay
And it may not be the norm or anywhere close
But I’m not lazy nor a frightened ghost
I am the sea of submergence
Looking down the avenue of divergence
And you can’t clamber sandy hills
And is this just a play of wills
Or is it something more
Because I simply do adore
All the range of this freedom flying
There’s nothing to stop the breeze from dying
Down as it spills its soul
Into the way the waters roll
And in the evening you know the night
Will take away all the light
And the castles you built from the grains 
Are washed away by the rains
And even the sun disdains 
To show its face across the plains

The Oil Of Chrism

.Reading time 2 minutes.
How do I write the syllables of my past
How do you make a good thing last
And she screams into the wind
The teacher tells us we have sinned
Though she has battered and bruised my kin
In the name of what to do, amen
And is it just a victim of the times
Do people beat the track that rhymes
And what’s stopping me from being brutal
So I give him first refusal
On a piece of road fronted land
Just one condition: he must take my hand
And be wed
Though the bed
Is big enough for us both
And he just takes off his coat
And asks can he stay
I say; no way!
But I’d like to love you anyway
What do you say? 
He pauses to contemplate
Must I make him wait
I deliberate
It’s not like that
“But it is”
I just wanna be his
Now he has got another soul
And I’m told that their waves roll
And crash upon the shore
Have you ever wanted more
No, he defies
But I see the lies
Catch in his eyes
As he protests the point 
Would you anoint
Our child with the oil of Chrism
I try to move on but no one else is him
And though the chemistry and the sparks fly
What’s born of bodies must admit to die
In their deepest, darkest, most honest moment
It’ll leave you too, won’t it? 
He stares at the floor then back at me
It’s you and I eternity
In some twin flame fusion
And the density is bruising
When it keeps us apart
Did I ever tell you, you have my heart

This Haunted House

.Reading time 1 minute.
We’re both ghosts
In this haunted house
And Wednesday’s child
Is full of self doubt 
As she rolls in woe
And you tell me to just let go
Say you’ve moved on and that you’ve got a girl
A job with the boys, moving up in the world
And I’m living with my parents and lost in the stars
Throwing rocks at walls coz they’re prison bars 
That hold us back from who we really are
And I’d love to have you by my side in my car
As I go deeper spiritually
But is it just the delusion that is drawing me
As maya plays her screen on my face
And I grow tired of growing old in this place 
And it’s in its infancy, this brutal tide
Death is a wellspring to nourish alive
Coz the water is deep and the water is pure
And it’s the only thing that we know for sure 
The impermanence of form, the willful whistle
When you roll down the grass but you land on a thistle
That is fighting it out just to survive
Feel your breath lift and know you’re alive

Going Out Dancing

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Going out dancing
Used to be my meditation
A welcome adjunct 
To my education
Now I stare at times gone by
And wonder how I 
Could entertain 
A world I have lost in vain 
And I look upwards into the rain
Has the love been replaced by pain
Or is the pain just a symbol of
A holy white, a dove
Coming to rest on my shoulder
Making it impossible to carry the boulder 
Up another hill
We do not need skill 
To roll the dice
Life doesn’t happen twice 
It happens Now 
And even reincarnation somehow
Is only a reiteration of the fact
The past is gone and you can’t get it back 
The future has not and will never come 
And the heart of life is just One

The Slow Wither

.Reading time 1 minute.
The slow wither
Like a flower losing its leaves
And I can’t comprehend 
How anyone believes
In a God of good things
In a loaded gun
Everything in creation 
Screams that it is One
And I’m not exactly Buddhist
And Christian loses lustre 
I’m mad busy at work
Trying not to get in a fluster
And then the peace comes
In a moment of prayer
I kneel before the altar
And I hear that I Am There
And I’m glad I keep something of you
Coz the body it is taken
And I can only hope that Heaven
Is there when you waken
Into your new life
At the foot of the hill
There’s a lot I have let go
But somethings I never will
Like your kindness and your smile
And the way you’re always there
I never doubted for a moment
That you truly care
And all I have left
Or so it seems
Is what I collected 
Hiding in moonbeams
But your presence comes to state
That simply isn’t so
You only come to wisdom 
In the instant you let go
And you can’t fake the fire
You barely contain
But just because you’re angry
Don’t mean you should fight the rain
As I lean into your essence
That has always felt like home
I’m sitting in solitude 
But I’m not alone
Coz you’re everywhere around me
In the midnight and the dawn
Don’t have to wait for death
Because you are not gone
And seeing you again
Is just to see you now
The walls have fallen down
And it’s because of you somehow

The Morning That Doesn’t Come

.Reading time 2 minutes.
(Trigger Warning - grief)

Do I have to always love you screaming in the rain
And do I equate death with pain
Coz he took you far too soon
Now I’m just crying in my room
Slamming my head against the wall
And no one knows at all
But it doesn’t bring you back
Just prepares me for another attack
Of grieving waves of trauma
And it’s been so long, you
We’re taken in my early teens
Before the cross and the man of my dreams
And I try to stand up and measure the line
But I keep remember thinking you were fine
And if I just prayed
You could’ve stayed
But it’s midnight and you’re both by my side
Why is this side of me something I hide
Coz I feel so much peace in a church
It kind of stills the way I hurt
And I light a candle for you
Almost as if you asked me to
And I sat by your side in your wheelchair at Knock
And you were always steady as a rock
You never faltered, you just bore it all
And I stood in the waterfall
So we both were there
And so you might know I care
But the whisper cracks my voice
And it’s no one’s choice
And it seems unfair
But can I be grateful for what you were spared 
And somewhere in oblivion we will touch again
I’ll call your name like love will never end
And you’ll wrap me in your arms so tight
And tell me that everything’s alright
And soothe that storm I own
I call your name like you’re my 
home

Winter Weather And Summertime Seasons

.Reading time 1 minute.
Leaving Easter Eggs all over town
So someone might find them when they take it down
And I may be colossus but summer’s in my veins
Though I’ve got to say I’m open to rains
As they pour down from the sky
There’s something within me that’s not gonna die
No matter the seasons or passing of time
It is a wondrous crime
To look Death in the face
And tell him it’s not the time and place
To go standing around stores
And I’ve always wanted more
Than just the simple life I live
Why is it so hard to forgive 
Coz she crushed the flower I held out
Now I second guess my own doubt
When I’m relying on love
To heal all ills 
But I’m lost in the woods
Now I’m taking pills
Just to make the trees have leaves
And it’s not everything that Truth believes 
Only solid ground on a pine cone floor
Oh, this Earth and all I adore

The Little Things

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
It’s not the poignant moments that make me cry
It’s contemplating that we all die
And you can never keep the sand
That just slips out of your hand
Like it’s an hourglass you flip
Though you’re not in control of it
And everyone you love will age
Like rumpled quilts on a stilted page
Is it more than mere grief
I let it out and there’s relief
But more of thunder and a river held back
But you can’t dam the thing you lack
Only ache for a better day
I let you know coz I love you, okay?

One Moment For Granted

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We can’t take one moment for granted
Nothing’s guaranteed
Life ends in death
We rely on the blood we bleed
To keep the body going
I look out the window
And the sky is snowing
Everything lending itself to another
The rain is frozen
And I lost a brother
In the storm
The river flowed
I may have taken the less travelled road
But it wasn’t for the good of my health
And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth
Except an inner gratitude 
And a reliance on the dude
That runs the show
Is there something I should know
Or do I just apt predict
So worried that I make myself sick
And have to be revolved on medication
There’s no point lying about my tv station
And if I’m off them for long
I start to feel like I don’t belong
To even the human race at all
I drink it in at the waterfall
And run, simply run down the hall
Of the institution I became part of
Resident of guarded love
And I hate but I also care
Feel the torment start to tear
At the edifice I’ve built
I don’t know why but I wilt
Under the glare of a heavy sun
And I’m always looking for the one
Who might make my stars shine bright
But the blade became my kryptonite
As it etched in stone what my heart would write
Only to feel the pull of the tide
The breath that means I am alive
As I drag my body out of the morass
I waken up when I am in class
And revive to a certain degree
Ten years to know it’s not just me
Who feels this way
And there needs to be a conversation 
About what it means to stay
And guidance from the ground
About the people you always want around
Do you hear the triangle ping
I let go and give up everything