Tag: heart

Coz You Loved Taylor Swift

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You said hello
Then okay bye
And there's something about your soul 
That makes me want to cry
Coz you're perfect, you're sincere
But you falter the web when I come near
And you're soft to the touch
And you're easy, then strong
And you look at me like I
Could do no wrong
But I snuck a peak
Into the deepest part of you
And I let you in 
Coz you wanted me to
And all of the fabrications can't make this a lie
That we both wake up when the life tries to die
On us in this subterfuge
Do you take refuge
In her sudden storm
Does she do more than keep the bed warm 
And I ain't jealous, I'm just missing out
And you kind of hit the nail on the head of my doubt
When you said "tell your folks"
This couldn't be one of your jokes
That you just play on me
You're withering and it takes time to see
That the cavalcade is just there to test
And I am not bigger and brighter than the rest
I'm just the puzzle piece to your thaw
And you run the scene like you're an outlaw
As we both find solace in what can't be contained
A sky full of clouds and then it rained

The Golden Hearse

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The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously 
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

One Kiss Love

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He’s not up for one kiss love
And I am ocean but there’s a dove
Come to bring news of nourishment 
It’s not many who need encouragement 
To sail that way across the sea
When they find dry land they’ll forget about me
But something in his smiles’s forever
Not changeable as the weather
And he may not be right for me
But right now is all I see
And he’s got emotions that shiver me timbers
He could spin the whole world on the tips of his fingers 
And I hope he remembers our moment so still
And the light catch his eyes, oh I always will
And hope and pray your life has been good
It’s like living in forests, surrounded I stood
But he gave me ways to breathe afresh
And find solemn ways out of this mess
As we crush a penny into a shape
It’s red that we find in our softest escape 

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/3VIRmKs

Remember Me, Love

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Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

My Greatest Defeat

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You are my greatest defeat
I just fall at your feet
And open up the midnight in the dawn
I look to my side and you are long gone 
And I’ve mountains to climb
But there were oceans of you being mine
Just settling down with a kid on the way
What is it that people say
“You’ll understand when you’re older”
But your gravity makes me bolder
Bold enough to refuse 
The point you want to prove 
With your gravelly voice
As if I even had a choice
To choose my own oppression 
And this is my confession
You always felt like a weight to carry
This guy who sorta wants to marry
Me at half my age
There’s ink enough to fill the page
With the stories that I make of us
Pencil marks on broken trust
Coz I just rewrite the story
Think of me in all of my glory
Just asking you to stay the night
You ask me if I’m alright
And I am but I’m sorta not 
The tilted stage is a lot
And is it every relationship 
Soldiers that war equip
To hold out on each other strong
I didn’t do anything wrong
It just wasn’t meant to be
Back then, but now I see
The fluorescent in the neon light
I don’t let you outta sight
And I was queen until we meet
Hold on, I’ve got another sheet
I’ve got to fill
You forget but I never will

Full On Headwreck

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He’s full on emo
And he’s got my heart
I didn’t give it to him
He just took a part
And stole away
Into the night
He says it’s cool
And I’ll be alright
But I’m here listening to
Dashboard Confessional and you
Are some other where
With some other girl 
While I turned inside out
And upside down my world 
And he just smiled
It’s like the lightning crack
He just sighed 
And doesn’t want me back
But he paints daydreams 
In my delusions
I’m all psyduck
In my own confusion
As I try to get close
But it’s like trying to catch a frightened ghost
As he comes near and then far away
And I’m at a loss for what to say
Coz he is perfect 
He’s pristine
I’m living the teenage dream
At thirty one
He still burns like the sun
And I feel the heat from over here
Is it okay if I call you dear
Coz you’re cute and fine
And fuckin lovely
You rain the showers of clouds
That wait above me
And I’m here listening to Something Corporate 
Coz you think it is important 
And I had earmarked 
Each page that you wrote
I wore down your facebook 
With all that I quote
And it’s ancient with the life
You took out west with a new bite
And I just smile at my own defiance
And you’re all self reliance
That can get by by yourself
Do you think I could add to your wealth
By shoving a note under your door
Goodbye means I love you more
As I hold back the knot of fist
That wishes to tell you I exist
But you’ve got a chick
And I bet she’s cool
I’m yesterday
And follow rules 
So don’t be mad
Don’t hate me either
Just be glad
We swam through the ether
And found each other 
One day on the grass
For me at least
The feeling last
And if you’re truly
Down with the kids
Could you explain
The moment that is
As I sigh a grey September
Your breath is something I remember 
So cool and real and hip and dude
The beauty that you exude 
Without even trying
And you know I would be lying
If I didn’t say
Hook, line and sinker
I’m more a daydreamer
Than a thinker
And I always wish for you
But I don’t know what I can do
To catch what’s mid air
The moment is high but I’m there
And then come back down to earth
I didn’t mean to hurt
Your precious and sincere
I’m just writing this
To say I love you, dear

It Was More Than That

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It was a grapevine fire that caught onto you
And I didn’t want you to know I was staring through
A portal into another world
How did I not see that you had a girl
And all my detective, all my sleuth
Building pillars of time upon our youth
And they had me admitted to a psych ward
I just look at you when I’m bored
And it makes me smile 
Then Emmett crashes in for a while 
With his clipboard and pen 
Could you say that again 
Like I said to you
The pain in your eyes was pushing me through
The eye of a needle so fine
God, I wish we would’ve had more time
Til the separate 
Would you call it fate
Or just say it’s my fault 
That a heart’s not made to be locked in a vault
And let out on special occasions 
Jesus, what are those abrasions 
Did you roll down a hill
He tells the truth but I never will
In his company 
And he just acts the fool with me 
And I feel whole 
I didn’t realise I’d found my soul

Starfish

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Are we just starfish
Learning how to shine
Do I speak up
About what isn’t fine
As the layers in the cake
Are slowly spread
And people on the sidelines
Are left for dead
As we just
Get on with our lives
And the bare minimum
Of trust survives
The onset of
A foreign occupation
Am I getting
Far above my station
To say I stand
With the power of peace
A moment when
The war might cease
And they could come
For my neck
Or I could lose it all
In a train wreck
As I try to mean
Something true
Is it just me
Or is it me and you

The Snowdrops

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The snowdrops show their skin in January
When everything else is cold with the snow 
And like the darkest night 
It's only then it lets you go 
Coz I found 
The slightest sound
Was enough to wake the house 
So I learn to do without 
In the evenings I 
Just contemplate the way I die
To each and every moment fresh
And every second is the best 
In Immortal Being 
There's nothing new for the seeing 
Just what you have always been 
You are untethered from the dream 
That heretofore held you back 
But there's nothing that you lack 
And the dog days may be over 
But that doesn't stop me wishing on a four leafed clover 
To win the day 
It's not held within what people say 
But it is effervescently free 
But it's everywhere, don't look at me 
As though I'm something rarefied 
It's just something in me that's died
A thread that's broken, identified 
And it's more an omission than I lied

Big Fish

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I look at the big fish
Thinking he's such a dish
But he's only catching flies
In the interval between the birth that dies
And yet I can sense even in him
A light that shines within
And the dark is threatening summer
So I switch off the lights and hear that drummer
That calls to me to speak my mind
Share my soul and my life in kind 
And I somehow know that this will come true
Because I have ultimate faith in you
To be and bring all I have to know 
I hold on to let go
Of what is not real or true
But the beef with this is that I pay my due 
A hundred times over in advance
And everyone is in a sort of trance
I click my fingers and 
Lose sight of an hourglass worth of sand 
But time is nothing new
Just the force of gravity working on you
As your skin folds down
And slowly sinks into the ground 
And you call that the end
I call it another friend
That just shows you that the permanent 
Is not held in the thing that went
But in the eternal, immutable soul
I spin the hands on the clock and fold

Paper Trains

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https://pin.it/4LrKnqa
Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two

The Bungalow By The Woods

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I run but there’s no race that I win 
I walk away but I think of him
Every single day
Was there really no other way
To handle things
And my heart sings
When the memory rises
And my surprises 
To find him there
And find he care
Surpasses all my man made doubt
And a life learned to live without
Like holding back the air
I need to breathe and I care
About what happens to you
I would love to reach out to 
You across the great divide 
But I fear the rebuff and I hide 
My secrets away so safe
And I used to be a little waif
In hunger with what she couldn’t live
I hope that you forgive
Me for my transgression
Why does this feel like a confession
When I’m at a loss as to what to say
So I make something up by the way
And feel all the penance that’s due
I just want to be worthy of you 
But you won’t see me no more
I knocked and the door 
Opened and closed in my face
Did you know this used to be my place

Not That Bad

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Do we just settle for not that bad
When she’s the best you’ve ever had
And I’m walking down lines and roads
Kissing princes, they turn into toads 
And I’m way past what I used to be
I wish I could’ve looked forward to see
Where that path might lead
And all the aggrandizement that made me bleed
When it was one need
And the law says take heed, take heed 
Of all that you don’t know where
And maybe people do care
It’s just that you could‘nt see
I reach out and say; it’s me
As the soft of his voice reminds me of your arms 
And we grew up on separate farms 
In rural Irish ways
And I don’t care what anyone says 
You’re still the one for me
I loved you so I let you go free
Now I just want to capture
Evince a state of rapture
That might never be known
And I want to love, don’t want to own
If that’s okay with you
I’m gonna wait coz I want to

Still In My Soul

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I was there
The day 
They took you away
And this song was playing
On the car ride home
Do you feel alone?
Coz the pavement always reflected the sun
And the sky was a burning one
As I walked in the gate
Was it just fate
Coz I can’t think of a reason
The season
Is winter and so much snow
I swore I’d never let you go
As my hands tremble against the pillar 
And daily life is like filler
When you’re gone
I hold my breath for so long
Just to prove
I feel what it is to lose
Your golden hair
I remember you and I were there
That Sunday outside the Church 
And, I dunno, I just love you so much
I was gonna ask you to
But I lost the nerve that checked on you
And I never suspected
I never preempted 
The basin that emptied
The moment she said your name
It cascaded and the blame
Of grief and guilt and pain and loss
Try to show me who’s boss
But you surface holding my hand
As I tell you ‘bout the boy in the band
But it’s through tear stained cheeks
The valleys and hills as the glacier weeps
It’s way through the parish we were born to know
I never thought I’d lose that smile though
I still feel it’s radiance on me
You always let me run free
In the playground we silent share
At the range as you stood there
Somewhere, somehow by my side
How dare they say you’re not alive
When I feel you ever near
Shining like a crystal clear
And you know me just a little bit
But somehow you still stay with
Me throughout the years
And I would drink an ocean of uncried tears
Just so that it’s real
This isn’t just something that I feel
I don’t know how to deal
But somehow I do
Even if it’s not with you
And the bitterness 
And fears and foe 
Come regardless of what I let go
As I fight to find
A place I can’t leave my love behind
And I think I found it 
It’s tentative but it’s true
And it resounds with the power of you
As you sing in the echo of the hall 
Bouncing off the far wall
It only serves to resound the call 
That makes me write for you
The silence is pure but it pours into
Every syllable you didn’t say
I’d walk to you if there was no other way

Dropping The Bass

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One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door 
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men 
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun

Interpretations

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Can psychosis be precocious 
Or is it just kundalini
Is it love or does it just demean me
Like the woman said on the tv
I’m four years old and I cut my knee
I still have the scar
At 64 will that be what you are
Just another favor of my youth
Oh, time can be such a brute
It offers you the sky
But with a catch, you die
In the end or before your time
I’m hesitant so I rhyme
To make sense of things 
Meaning out of broken wings
And I was in a tight enclosure 
Thought I’d die from exposure
To the sun
Coz there’s this light shining from everyone
And the man passed my bed
I thought I’d pass out instead 
Coz I was just riding the vibe
Living (coz I am alive)
And he thought it was the bathroom glare
There were no locks in there
And they would bang on the door
And say; “just doing the check”
And I’m just some ship you wreck
With your foreign shore
Why the hell do I want more
Instead of less
It’s like some sort of undress
When my soul is bare
And you found the thread that started the tear
I got in your head and wound up in there
Where they parcel the joy
But I exchange it for a boy
I just found by the side of the road
I said to leave down the load
Even just for a moment, in my presence
And I could feel his essence
Start to fly
I hope I don’t die
Before I see him again
And I break my rule on men

Steven On The Stillorgan Road

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I think you are beautiful, I think you're a star
You really don't know how lovely you are
And I'd love to look at you and see you within
Your soul forms a shape and its constellating
And your eyes they are diamonds that shine from your core
I'd love to love you and then a little bit more
And your face draws my gaze but I don't want to stare
All I know is that I know you are there
And you don't fade away and you do not flinch
In the years that have passed you have not moved an inch
And we may be old and weary on the bone 
But I know in your presence I am not alone
And I wish I could spend some time by your side
Kiss the ground that you walk because you walk alive 
Shrink the violets to colour the room 
Thank you for coming not a minute too soon 


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Double Doors

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Siena’s tried cocaine
I tried to numb the pain
With all the alcohol
But I’m just throwing bricks at the wall
Hoping that they stick 
Don’t be a dick
About it
Wasn’t I right to doubt it
Now I see you in her arms
And none of your charms
Can weasel your way back to me
Just take that jack to the wheel and see
I’m not for the changing
And all the flowers fading
Don’t mean that summer’s gone
Another year and this song
Will be played
What you say
Don’t mean a thing
And another ring
To hold my finger tethered to your soul
And the waves don’t crash to your rock and roll
Anymore
You see that door 
It opens from the inside out
And my mouth
Is not somewhere you find yourself
I am no Christmas elf
To deliver parcels to your tree
I just want you to be free with me
And let it go
I followed you just so you know

The Broken Girls Club

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Welcome to the broken girls club
Admission is free
But it will cost you more
Than you ever thought it could be
And is it just an excuse that we get to use
To say we can’t live up to the point you prove
With pen on paper
And the people who hate her
Cutting like incisors
Labeled as survivors 
When it’s just a midnight rush
That is tender to the touch
That spirals out into infinity
Are you listening to me 
At all
And I hit a wall
Or bedrock
As you claim to be what I am not

No Deal

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They talk about taking a cut
I don’t wish to intrude but
Isn’t that selling out on your dreams
The tailor rips all the seams 
On a mighty dress
And I confess
That I never really knew what this life thing was
I just keep holding on because 
It seems to be the only thing to do
Hold my breath and set the queue 
And everything will be alright
There is no way to fight the night
Only accept its lapping waves
And the superhero who saves 
Is your own deepest core
Pushing you til you know there’s more 
Than surface appearance
In the woods and there’s been a clearance
Into some sort of scene
Everything is hazy as a dream
As I take what they offer me 
But I would rather be free
Of the chains that bind
They run rings around my mind
But suffice to say
It doesn’t go away
It only suppress
It’s there to be addressed
And I hold my hand out to the dark
It dances me around in the park
With the grass under my feet
How was it that we never meet
In all the years we’ve been together
Just me, you and the weather
And it’s a lavender suite
I let it go and defeat
Is the sweetest thing I know
It just took Him time to show
The underneath that silences doubt
Now forever is what I’m all about
And death is the mask that God wears
You don’t realise it til the illusion tears
And you’re left with a landscape in your lap
Did the Universe take a nap
On overseeing the score 
Coz I’m not sure who I am anymore 
But You assure
That this road is pure
As midnight snow
The moon kissing the white below

My…..

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
The stars cross themselves
Like a holy prayer
And I know it’s the past
But you are there
And there’s summer in my bones
As the rubble topples homes
Like the foundation of Hill 16
And loving him was the dream
As we both match
Our patchwork scars
And I’m walking home 
As you’re chasing cars
With bubbles in your chest
Don’t you know that I love you best
Though you’re sitting with her
Does she know what we were
And still are
I’ve no wish to be on par
I just want the truth to shine
Let it be known that I call you mine

Pondering My Life

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Sitting in a New York café
Wondering whose gonna win the day
Is it me or my fear 
I shake because the doom was near
And it pulled me far away from the storm
Do you think the sun is warm
Or is it just faking it’s heat
But I can feel it on my feet
As my toes shake sand 
Out of the knots in my hand 
Like a well worn tree
He left and then never met me
And I gotta find God
Do you venerate the Lord
And is it just another symbol
Or can you see out the window 
To where the grass is green 
Something in me has always been
And will abide
I don’t have to hide 
From the shirking of weight
They call it luck, I call it fate

Sony In My System

.Reading time 1 minute.
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady
And I dunno but I think that she hates me
For intruding on their sacred space
But he was a drug I loved to taste 
And the hit was high
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
Like it’s a final sort of end
Or worse maybe we’re still friends
And he could call me pal
But I’m not a second best sort of gal
I’d rather cut my losses and run
Find something else that shines the sun
And who knows, maybe it’s not a man
Maybe there’s no limit to what I can 
Do
It’s just not you
And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony
Listening to that guy that’s lonely
And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note
Give him letters that he can quote
Like before
When he beat a path to my door
Only for me to fly
And the year the whole world threatened to die
In a storming cavalcade
Is it a fate we can evade 
Or is it an absolute rest
We get the day before the test

Somewhere Clandestine

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Stuck in ‘08
It was my date with fate
As it led me to your door
Did you want me more
More than I can attest
And we’re both fully dressed
But I feel your eyes rake over me
Like we’re naked with destiny
Just us and the come what may
And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say
But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding
But there’s something of love that is all abiding
Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else
With skin so thin you could make a heart melt 
With the fire that burns off you
It seared a part of me too
And I can’t change the fact of you
I’m not the same and neither are you
But we both kinda are
Like the atoms forged in a star
Or the matter that make time and space
Bend the equivalent of the human race
To the tune of light refract
I never said no but I still want you back
Standing outside my window
It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though
And I cannot deny my feelings were real
With the depth of the red that he deal
An ace of hearts
And mine almost starts
To beat double time
He was the essence of fine
As he’d crack a smile in my direction
Like he’s open to cards if I make selection
And he lives just across the hall
And he kinda caught the ball
When I threw it at him
Is it a decision I cannot win
Coz I love them all 
The truth in my own freefall

Opening Hearts

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I unlock my phone
And Chocolate opens
Like a heart that’s in the hand you’re holding
And you’re too sweet to be believed
You’ve been hiding nothing up your sleeve
Only an endless free terrain 
And I’ve spent years studying your pain
From afar
And Teresa named a star
After me
So somewhere out there my shine you’ll see
Under ever present heavens
We were both born on elevens
And so I tick my clock
Wondering what it is you’re not
In all that you claim to be
You were my favorite song to see

Contemplations

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I spent my youth fearing old age
Now I’m finally flipping the page
And finding out that the aforementioned 
Is really not in this dimension
Because I extend out
Far beyond the realms of doubt
To the furnace roar and the circumstance 
Do you know the electrons dance
In perpetual motion
And nothing can replace devotion
In the furthering of things
And a million rings
Cannot make me replace
The love that I came here to taste
And just drink in 
It wasn’t just with him
But everyone
Everyone the immaculate Son
Of Destiny
Do you think he thinks of me
With his hand on the trigger
A rifle to fire
But love’s not down low
But somewhere higher
To take in the vista
And one can only say “I missed ya”
If you believe the lie
People we love cannot die
But fly
On immutable wings
And everything in creation sings
Of its unborn nature
My love, I could never hate ya

The Myth of Myself

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The myth of myself
I rivet the dawn
And make preparations 
For when it is all gone
Coz it won’t last forever
This person that I’ve made
You only know the sun
When you’re standing in the shade
You only know the midnight
Because come the dawn 
You wake up to the instant
That you truly belong

The Soundtrack To Me

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It’s a beautiful Saturday evening
Crisp and clean
Like you’d be playing football
On our field of dreams
And I couldn’t reconcile
The golden green mile
I had to walk
Through valleys of talk
And ideals ripped asunder
Days when my number
Was up
But love
Pushed me through the needle eye
Coz it’s not my time to die
At least not just yet
But I don’t forget
Our moment out of time
And the instant you were mine
I held a holy hand
And it was like sand
Slipping through my fingers
Where are the bringers
Of the doom I seem to sense
And the forest is dense
But I’m all good
Pine cone bed in the middle of the wood

Bounce

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Imma bounce
Like a cat about to pounce
Or the people you denounce
Coz I just can’t stay still in chains
I look up to the sky and it rains
Open air and fresh water blues
You know the breeze smells of you
Like fresh grass or school in the nineties era
Kind of scary and I feared ya
When you looked deeply into me
What is it that you see
Coz your eyes are golden
And no one would believe me even if I’d told em
But you stay still and silent as the grave
I never knew my own power to save
With my mere presence alone
Now you’re just on the other end of a phone
And I followed every line you dropped
Til the moment when it just stopped
And I couldn’t contain the rush
Is it now we get to touch
Coz we seem separated by a million miles
But I could never pay for one of your smiles
It radiates like a frequency to burn
I swear you make the world turn

Quiet

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I’ve never spoken of my feelings for you
And I don’t know why
And I’m always scared
You’re gonna die
Coz I hold you so dear
But you’re never near
And I don’t think you understand
I never had any of this planned
And I know you’ve got a life
And its unreasonable to think a wife
Is what I could be
It’s borderline delusional a history
But I’ve gotta speak this longing in my heart
The reverberations start
When you’re near the scene
And the fabric of my dream
Starts to shimmer
Did you use the dimmer
Switch coz the light in here
Is gone all moody and I fear
That I may be for you over again
I’m fascinated by other men
But you hold this draw
Like you’re the rule and the cosmic law
Pulls me to your door
Don’t you love me anymore?

My False

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We gotta draw the line
(I tell him I’m fine)
But he insists that I
Am too distressed not to die
And I try to fight
But he blows out the candlelight
So I’m just fumbling in the dark
For a torch in the park
And it’s no place to be in times like these
And St. Pat’s brought me to my knees
And I want to fly in the face
Of what they swear is my disgrace
And I disagree
But his degree
Is not in conflict resolution 
And he seeks the dissolution
Of this state of mind
But look at what I’d leave behind
If I just left you there
With no one watching and no one to care 
As I muck it out in the trenches
They call my name when I’m sitting on benches
My place to make a scene
And this vision is a dream
But I will make it real
I pay back what I steal
I a hundred pound notes
I’m Gandhi or at least one of his quotes

Remind Me, Love

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I know you forget
So remind me, love
Of how it felt
When you fell from above
And she mixes your drink
And twirls your hair
And it’s almost as if
I wasn’t there
In the year that we
Were born to run
Your turning heads
I’m turning twenty one
And your sideways askance
There to defy
And I swear I’ll love you
Til the day that I die
I opened the heart
I had kept secret
I could tell you the truth
But you’d never believe it
As we dance in the ether
The astral plane though it’s not to deceive her
It’s just the twin flame buzz
You call me up
I call you love
And we’re at it again
The galaxy in the world of men
Unemptiable mine
Of diamonds that just shine
Set into the rock you’ve hewn
Did you even know what you were doing
When you connected with me
I opened my eyes and now I see

Here, Not Gone

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There are so many things
In life that pass away
Made me ask
Does anything stay
And I found in the dark
An unbeatable light
It’s shines through the veil
Til everyone’s alright
And it’s taking to task
The body I walk
Makes me speak
Not merely talk
And it loves and it cares
But it is detached
Unlocks the door
Even when it’s latched
It goes up and over
Here and beyond
Answers questions
Like a dumb blonde
With the smarts
I looked it’s way
And suddenly it starts
To shine 
For the whole world to see
Don’t you know
It’s not about me
But about the fabric
Becoming paper thin
He saw the real
So I let him in

A New Vista

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What used to seem so sure
Is now disappearing over the hill
Can change change me
Or do I swear it never will
As I hold onto who I used to be
But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see 
The ocean is not held in a span
And will I do what I can
To be a modern example of what is true
What’s possible for me and you
As we share a world unique
But I do not dare to speak 
My voice though it reverberate 
Around the hall as we equate
Together with just being there
I’ve learned from love and I do care
Though shapeless you see
Me in a way and integrity
Has me burning a fuse in my mind
To always be awesome and super kind
And fearless with courage to bear
The way the fabric tear
On this dream of us
I found true love and in it I trust

All Of The People

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There’s a hundred million souls 
Hanging round this joint
But somehow you’re the one
My heart anoint
And ignite like a signal fire
In those days I never tire
Of my rebound nature
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later
And he passed like a comet across the sky
Proclaiming that which will never die
In a moment we are as One
And he merged with the Son
To shine a light so bright the sound goes deaf
To all that is and isn’t left
In the ashes that burn up into flame
A phoenix by everything but name
And he’s lovely and normal and sweet as pie
And I just want him to see me cry
To let him in through the facade
The bulletproof and feeling bad
To this garden where everything grows
And there’s a flower here for you, God knows
That’s been ten years in the making
There are no tales worth the shaking
The run away induced
But you are here and I’ve deduced
That everything will be okay
Will you ever look at me that way
Again
And men
Just remind me of us
Our solid steel and unbreakable trust

The Flow Of Incandescence

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Money is the language Western culture speaks
While in the East we wonder who eats
As we clamber together a mountain of rocks
And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks
Do we really know where we’re going
I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing 
Do I have a destiny to live up to
Or am I just throwing shapes at you
As I move in the room through the embrace of air
The nothing that’s something and ever there
As we all return to the Tao that gives birth
To learn and live the lessons of hurt
Of the pain that transforms
Mere weather into thunderstorms

Life In Eden

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There’s no way back now
We’ve got to find a new way somehow
To cut a swathe through the tide
Really breathe while we’re alive
And we may have realized
That we’re all living under blue skies
But we hide behind each tree we find
Conceptualize it with the power of mind
And search for a way to be secure
But don’t you know we’re all born pure
And I’m not trying to catch you out
But don’t you think it’s good to doubt
And question what you don’t understand
The life of the free is never planned
But an unfoldment in Universal degree
I may be wrong but hey, that’s just me!

Break Up Songs

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Living the life of a break up song
And I’m like her, I can do no wrong
Til I finally admit
The problem is me
And I thought I was Moses 
Parting the sea
But I’m just a girl
Who’s thirty two
Learning to love
And rely on You
The God of forewarned understanding
And I know my wishes can be demanding 
But I plead that He lets them be
Bring change through the vehicle of me
Let my hands be a messenger of love
The descent of redemption from above
As I acquiesce to His will
I won’t know the answer until
I live it and move my bones
Give the many bread and homes

Dreamboat Disguised

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Deep in disguise 
I wade through the water
You somebody’s son
I’m the moon’s daughter
And I slip sideways 
Out of the scene 
You were the best part
Of my dream
And I watched you watch me
You took my pic
You grabbed the towel 
And the gear stick
Shook in my hand
Said goodbye to Sam
You said he’ll be grand
And I drove you home
It was just the two of us
All alone
And you stopped to stare
I stopped the car
And met you there
And I wonder if I’ll ever see
You looking again like that at me
As I shared on a screen
Some kind of light show 
I’d tell you the truth
If you want me to, you know
All the love in my heart
And you were a rouge kind of dark
As you let the wilderness consume
I watch you from across the room

The I Am

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I see the I Am in every pair of eyes
Once you look there’s no disguise
And I venerate the Holy One
The ocean of which cannot be undone
And the chains fall like shackles on the floor
As I make way for what I adore
The riverbeds flow toward the sea
So it is with the Guru and me
The spaciousness nothing can contain
The sky beyond the rain
The storm clouds far beneath
The person that I used to be

Remind Them Of Their Humanity

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Remind them of their humanity
Don’t let it switch off
It’s not long living
But all is not lost
Coz there is a molten core
At the heart of everyone 
Nuclear fusion
Brighter than the sun
And it burns irregardless
Of the darkness you put yourself through
Don’t deny
All that is you
And I know it
Coz I’ve been through the night
But in the midst of the storm
The eye is alright
And I trust in the value
Of what makes us real
Is it intuition
Or the way that I feel
That tells me there’s an end
To a fighting soul
The wave is the ocean
Even if it has to roll
And you’re still what you are
Even in the confusion
Wake up from dread
And the delusion
That we are separate 
From each other
Walking the plains
As sister and brother
And opening a sky
That will soothe with rain
We don’t have to
Go through this again
And I’m a reporter 
On the front line
I don’t think we can do this
Another time

Fighting My Femininity

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I fight with my femininity
It evokes love
But I can’t tie myself
To any of the above
Only open my heart
For peace to be shared
Open my notebook
To say that I cared
And that I’m not
In this quiet, tight space
But dreaming of days 
When I touch your face
Telling you all 
You mean to me
Not closing the door
So you can be free
And I know that I have put out
More than I take back
And I have been hobbling 
Over what I lack
But the sight of you
Is like a comet true
And I’m shaking just thinking
Of what I would do
If you were mine
To have and to keep
To wake up beside
A good nights sleep
And you’re kind and you’re awesome
I’ve been keeping you away
I look down at my feet
Coz I don’t know what to say
And you tell me I’m lovely
And beautiful
He left me empty
Now I am full
Of a joy that’s brimming
Full of trust
Can I come in, baby
It’s a must
And you look at me
As if I defy
The life I’m leading
As some kind of lie
But I just wanna be
Myself again
A woman in
A world full of men
Telling me how 
I should contain
This heart of mine
That’s broken with pain
But shining with gold
As I repair
The parts of myself
That knows you are there
That knows there is kindness
And there is truth
More than monuments 
I’ve built to our youth
And nobody knows
Or can describe
The feeling of loving
Breath when you’re alive
And I’m haunted by loss
And the threat of death
Keep living days 
Full of regret 
Coz I can’t control
The passing of seasons
Or people with pride
And a bowl full of reasons
And is it insincere 
To proclaim my devotion
To the silence
In all the commotion
As I feel the movement
Of a pin drop
Signaling winter
Or the moment to stop
And take in an aside
Of all we’re meant to be
I didn’t know if you knew
So I’m letting you see

Gleaming Diamond

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Do I really want you to come a little closer
You’re just like a ghost
With the flavors of nothing 
And what I love the most
I see you shy away and I avoid
Being one of the girls
You’re not one of the boys
But you dance 
Like Heaven has given you another chance
To be all you are
The wonderful bridge
Constellatory star 
That just shines
Like gleaming diamonds in gold mines
I pick one up
But it just reflects the look of you, love
And we’re one again
Outside the realm of women and men
Just to be what is
He holds my hand and I am his
To recalculate 
All that has me in a lowly state
Where do I walk
And is all my effulgence just mere talk
Do I live up to
The brigand that I saw in you
As you caught my hand
I catch my breath as you reprimand 
Me for my trauma of being too much
I back away but I also clutch
You to me
Can you love the whole sea
When it’s not yours or mine
I felt crushed watching About Time
And I could feel a lion roar 
Deep within me
Death the moment life begins me
As I sit up off the floor
What was that and what’s more
Who am I
How am I not to die
When this body walks I seem to move
But it’s just patterning on the groove
Of the effervescent 
I hate to be described as pleasant
Coz it’s so lukewarm
And I am nothing if not a storm
Brewing over the hill
Do you know the moment if you’re not still?

Two Dogs Snarling

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We became like two dogs snarling
In the days I called you darling
And you spit your words out at me
I let you go free
Like we’re aching from our history
You and the mystery 
As ages pass us by
And we love but we don’t know why
And we fight and we try
But we can’t forgive the lie
And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted
And I just remember when we started
And how it is so different now
I still see you through the wind somehow

The Red Of Fire

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I actually haven’t lost my spark
Or my ability to make a mark
And it seems my visage has grown strained
Wearing a look so pained
From all the trials I’ve been through
All for the courage I lacked in you
As you exclaimed against your will
That love is nothing but a skill
And I soared into the roaring sun
All for fear of being come undone
That I feel in your presence blue
The red of fire I am to you

Life In Eden

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What if we’re living in Paradise
The green fields of our life
And he is tormented by the loss of Eden
And I was ardent in my believing
Til I met the moment in a night
And something did ignite 
Burned like a fuse towards dynamite 
Spinning ever closer to its own execution 
I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution 
Of what I mean to say
I’d rather just point the way
And have you follow where I go
But my steps shake as I move slow
Across the ground of the room
There is so much more than doom
In the space that we share
There is true love and care
I feel I must speak up to say
It’s more than a myth and okay
I get that you have your own perspective
But my view is true and objective 
Like a glass with no lens 
You only see through it when you don’t defend
Yourself from what you mean to be
You just open up for free
And find it echo in your bones
Away from the beat of earphones
And all the noise that fills the day
It’s not a game or a power play
But something that must be known
I pull the curtains back and it’s shown

Idealism

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Idealism has me loving him
Through the wings of a new song
And I’ve only felt
Sparsely that I belong
In and out between the fear
Catching hold of what I hold dear
In the hopes that it won’t leave
And it’s little that I don’t believe
Coz it all pulses in my throat
And are we post rote
Learning now
I sit upon the bough
Of a leaning tree
To watch the sunset fade in front of me
And think it’s much like a life
That doesn’t get to happen twice
Unless you’re into that sort of thing
A reincarnation into the skin that swim
In the great ocean
And I’ve always been emotion
Trying to calm down
But I walk on solid ground
As my heart beats in my chest
Trust in God and leave the rest

Sweetness

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I just wanted to know if you left me a message
It’s nothing insincere
But I’ve been tripping the wire
Of in love with you, dear
And I know it’s a fallacy
And I know there’s nothing wrong
It’s just you gave me that rush
Like you thought I was strong
And I’m smiling to myself
As I’m sitting on the couch
Threw normal out the window
Of sanity to vouch
For me in the days
When the water is less clear
I had a dream of you
When your words made you seem near
But anyway and anyhow 
I’ve got to let it go
I just wanted to uncover 
These reams and reams of snow
So you’d know that in the winter
The sun burns just as true
You said that you liked me
Well, hey man, back at you!

The Non Spectacular Nature Of Now

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The non spectacular nature of Now 
Is something that makes me weak somehow
As I stare at the trees
They remind me to get up off my knees
And stand in the shine that is the sun
Like God is calling and I am the one
Who must walk the path of being still
And many things change, this never will
As the ochre of sunsets burn in your eyes
And there is a love that never dies
I found it on the green of the room
Across from the front hall and I attune
To the sound of Heaven’s bells
As they call out to me amid ne’er do wells
And I’m walking down paces on the avenues
I’m all red as they play the blues
In summertime or winter cold
I’m frozen at the age of not getting old

The Thaw

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They’re selling an American Dream
But I’m walking on a moonbeam
As it guides my way home
And tells me I’m not alone
As I open out into the vast expanse
Perceive the space as the molecules dance
To make up the shape of me
The frame of what is memory
Held together by a subtle flaw
I wonder is ice real as it starts to thaw