Tag: friendship

The Floorboard Creaks

.Reading time 4 minutes.
I kept quiet 
As my head became a riot 
Because I had promised you 
Secrecy as you poured your truth into 
My listening ear 
But then you evince a glistening tear 
As I’m shattered and grey
Because my grandmother has gone away 
And I stand just washing the dishes 
Thinking of our hugs and kisses 
And the whole window pane 
Breaks upon me like rain 
And school was my escape in a way 
But it became the place where people say 
Bad things about me 
Look away from my eyes and doubt me 
And even Doireann doesn’t know what to do 
When I’m in Room One fighting with you 
I was trying to prove a point 
But it just knocked your nose out of joint 
And I realise I can’t win this war 
So I abandon what it is for 
And leave you to that shore 
Of not knowing me anymore 
And you say it was the biggest mistake 
You ever made but when you wake 
Do you realise what you did to me 
When I had lost all I thought I could be 
And lie in the gutter 
Going over the words I heard you utter 
Under your breath 
And my biggest regret 
Is that I ever gave you the time of day
Because I sensed you were not okay
And needed a friend to talk to 
Now I just lose the weight of you 
In the mist and in the crossfire 
And when the straits became dire 
A light shone from a higher 
Window
It was Him though
The only words I had for the Absolute 
Was the Jesus that had taken root
Like a tree in my soul 
And your eyes may roll 
At my steady devotion 
But I show no emotion 
And lock it down 
Because you are not allowed in this town 
Not now, not anymore 
They say INFJ’s slam the door 
But it was more than that 
It was just the realisation that if she’s coming back 
It’s going to be as a changed human 
Because I am not ok with what you’re doing 
To the people within your reach 
And it’s not a lesson I am here to teach 
It’s just that I have to go 
And by the time you know 
I will be in Timbuktu 
Living a life far away from you 
And it’s not that I don’t still care 
It’s just I won’t let you dare 
To cross that line one more time 
I’ve no mind to become the scene of a crime 
And pulverise 
Underneath the heaviness of lies
That you tell like a scéal 
About me, well you can keep that tale
And anyone who will entertain 
What I sought to put through in vain 
It just became the rain 
But I am unwritten so you can’t keep my name 
In your book of words 
I left the ground like one of the birds 
To take flight into air 
If I’m gone maybe you’ll know I was there

Deviations From The Norm

.Reading time 3 minutes.

There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you

Taylor Swift
There are deviations from the norm
And some people said it was just bad form 
As she excommunicated me from the religion I love
Because I fit around that hand like a glove
And she told me I was too perfect and pristine
And it became a nightmare before I woke from the dream 
And found out what God really mean 
But I still bear the scar
From the mark made by what you are 
And I know you’re deeper and true 
And it’s just that the losing of you 
Did more for me than having you could do 
And I became spacious as the sky is blue 
As open and wide and as far as the eye can see 
When I lost the will to live out my destiny 
And fought to find a spark in the dark of night 
And no one thought to ask if I was alright 
Because I was the villain 
In your own personal film 
About how you were the victim of fate
And people love someone to hate 
And they gathered around my ghost
And I watched her lose what she loved the most
In this melee
And now I’m free 
Of all that gathers at the hem 
And you would do it to me again 
If I gave you the chance
So I took away the music that used to make you dance
To the sound of us 
Do you hear the quiet of broken trust 
And I lean on the two of the old brigade 
I close my eyes and pour it into Ciara and Sinéad 
Because I know they have my back 
And just because I feel that I lack 
What I was before 
Doesn’t mean there isn’t something to adore 
In the statue I’ve become 
There’s wisdom in the age you lose when you are young 
And I wish you the best of all that there is 
Because the rest of what I am is His 
In the sudden sun that dawned upon the glen 
And I close my eyes and whisper Amen 
To every prayer I’ve ever uttered 
I open my eyes like windows I had shuttered

The Diamonds In The Fabric

.Reading time 3 minutes.
Am I condemned to the perpetual misunderstand
There’s something about her phrase that seems so underhand 
And yet in demand
I crave then I crawl 
I hold back, then I call
Because I can’t keep the typewriter from doing its shit 
And I’m just a leaf that she’s folding her paper with 
And it’s not like I’m mad with her or hateful 
And I know I should be so damn grateful 
I get to know her at all
But it’s just that wall
She takes it down, then fires it up 
And I wonder if we have fallen out of love
Into a deep blue sky
And all my asking why
Meets the same response
A thousand different ways in handwritten fonts
But the answer doesn’t change
I make the stars rearrange 
Then get bullied and bruised
Feel malfeased and inappropriately used
By the powers that be
And the status they think they give to me 
And all of my aching since 2005
And wondering if she even knows I’m alive
Anymore
I go knock on her door 
And I hear the rap echo 
What did I wreck though 
With my brilliant sun
And the knowing that I am the one 
The fire, the phoenix, the passionate Aries 
Away with the birds and down with the fairies 
I listen for any pouring of water 
That may come from the halls of the daughter
I used to be
But now I see
I have outgrown that frame
Like I have burst through my name
Into something new
And it was always you
I would go to
At the first sign of sea
Now it’s just the ocean witnessing me 
As you avert your gaze
And the cities you raze
And don’t even notice 
Who said that we have to make up quotas 
Just to get elected 
But Jesus resurrected
Spells a new storm
And if you think you’re hot, you’re not even warm 
In the midnight blues
And all of you that can’t pay its dues 
In form 
The day I was born 
Something spoke to me 
And it said; this is the way it’s going to be
So I cried 
And at fourteen I died
Like I had in a previous life
One where I broke down and agreed to be a wife
But enough of that now, I’m bullet and silver 
And I’ve enough in my quill to write syllable of her 
Though she may see
The descent of grey mystery 
On the plurality 
Of the expanse we are 
How did that star 
Ever come to be 
The landscape that we both seem to see

Losing A Friend

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Did I lose a friend when I let you go 
On the edge of UCD and I just want you to know 
Who you are and what you mean to be 
What you were and what you are to me 
And you would drop your gaze and look away
I don't know why I couldn't make the time stay
Coz I wasn't sure I was girlfriend material 
I'm half wild and ethereal 
And I live to drop in and out 
Of my own self doubt 
And you were honest and true
And all heart and I loved you
But I didn't let you see 
In case you would get attached to me 
And I would have to split 
But I was enchanted and that's what you're dealing with 
As I'm leading you back to the club 
Because I don't want anything to happen to you, my love 
And I get Colin to go out and meet you there 
I want you to know I care 
But you stopped talking to me 
At the airport like you just looked straight through me 
As we'd wheel a case or carry a bag 
And the days drag 
Without you in my life 
I know you probably have a wife 
By now 
But the part of me that I allow 
You access to 
Has not been retracted, you
Still hold that same spot 
Somewhere between the dream of what I could be and what I am not 
Because you were fire red and real 
And I would steal 
You away in a minute 
But just don't think tradition is in it 
If you still want to call on me 
Just click hello and there I'll be

Childhood Haunts

.Reading time 2 minutes.
There are childhood haunts 
They rise up and grip 
And I am myself when I let the mask slip 
Like Keyz and I playing Freespace
And all the years that went to waste 
Just soaking in the sun 
When I met the man I love I run 
And I don’t know why that is 
Because I’ve always been his 
And if I could only explain to her
What we were 
I think she could understand 
It wasn’t like I had anything planned
I just know what soul speaks 
And I count the years, months and weeks 
Since we’ve last talked
Since you walked 
And the demons sat on the edge of my consciousness 
The doctor said I was “in distress”
But he doesn’t know jack 
And I want my freedom back 
The freedom to feel, to wreak havoc or hell
Without people telling me I’m unwell 
As they submerge what’s only tide
And try to kill what is alive
In me
But I’ll always be 
This girl of colour and plunging dark 
It’s from the night where rises the spark 
And it visits me again and again 
One day it’s a bird, next it’s men 
And then 
I realise I won’t settle 
Thorny as a rose and stinging like a nettle 
But somehow singing like a kettle 
When you put me on boil 
Or is that just what it is to be a Coyle 

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The Bark Of The Tree

.Reading time 1 minute.
How do people get like that, is it believing that the age you are 
Is anything more than revolutions around a star 
And I may be thirty three
But I’ve never been more free
As they put handcuffs on me
And tell me to preserve my dignity 
If I want to shine 
But I’m self effulgent and love is mine 
Though you wouldn’t know it from my visage
Don’t feel bad
It isn’t all your fault 
I kicked you out of the vault 
After letting the key slip into your hand 
And now I demand 
That you break like a wave upon my shore 
If you want me to love you more 
But it’s just like listening to the scene 
She wakes her own dream 
Up from where it lay
And I don’t get a say
About the perforate you opened 
And something is hoping
In what you never were to me 
I take a moment and I just be  

Image Credit: https://pin.it/2URrbXoNy

The Secret Store

.Reading time 1 minute.
The secret store 
Are all the stories I kept before
I found a blank page
To hold all my rage
And people are multifaceted 
I don’t think she acted it 
When she told me to go fcuk myself 
That day in her presence
And the mark still leaves a crescent 
Shaped bite on my arm 
I never thought she would harm 
Me in that way
But that’s the price you pay
For loving the games you play
And leaving it all on the field 
The way the fortress might yield 
If I could bridge the gap 
But I never could read the map
That led to the heart of her
And I could write mountains about what we were
But am I just looking to the past 
For a mast
I can use to set sail 
And does my courage fail 
When she stares at me down the barrel of the gun 
Like she’s got a single shot and I am the one
The bullet is for 
And a closed door
Hurts more than the blood in my veins 
Pouring out of me like the rains 
Upon the ground I know 
He didn’t get it so I said it slow
But nothing caught on 
And he tells me he is gone 
But I see his shadow at the door
When he thinks the light won’t catch him anymore 

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The Mute And The Foal

.Reading time 2 minutes.
It’s impossible to stay angry at you
When you flick that gaze at me 
And I swore that it would be us
For eternity
But the dials switched and changed
The atoms rearranged 
And it seemed like our history
Would stay in the past
Like me getting all those A’s in class
And they called me names
Like all I am is brains
And Deirdre, she cut me down 
Made me wanna run clear outta that town 
And she would pick away at me 
Til I had enough and infinity 
Isn’t far enough to be away from her
Even though I mourn what we were
And I know her depths go unknown
And some of them were shown 
To me too
And there were parts that were true
But the lies they perforate 
And before I know it it’s that date
Again
And men
Seem like my only salvation 
As I make x and y balance the equation 
And I thought I had struck gold
In the ground or at the end of the rainbow
You turned out to be the same as her though 
It was all shits and giggles 
But the next thing the girl wriggles
And you’re gone 
And I say so long
To all that I thought you were
Enjoy the business you have with her
I’m sure it’s mighty fine
But just don’t try to waste my time
Saying you’re my friend
When I only ever saw the end
Of what you were trying to sell
And I wish you both well
But I’m not gonna gallop that pony
And I could be wrong but you’re full of baloney

The Veins Of Truth

.Reading time 3 minutes.
The veins of truth pour the blood through me
It’s back to my heart and it sets me free
And my skin may be purple, blue
But it’s not because of you 
I just wanted you to know
That it was long before we met I wanted to let go
And it was in response to 
A girl, I change the font to blue
To represent those days 
Because she cut in me in so many ways
By lines, by degrees 
Then with a sword when I was on my knees
And my grandmother had just passed
And I’m sitting in class
When she has just let me know 
That she can’t “relate” to the snow
That’s falling from my sky
And suddenly I want to die 
And the breaths I draw in are sucked not in the flow
And nobody seems to know 
It’s like steel in my blood to enter the school
And I used to keep every single rule
But it never did a thing to keep me from the deep end of the pool
And I’m just standing saying a prayer
Because we’re Catholic and the teacher is there
Til, suddenly, dizzy, I lose consciousness
And the person I used to address
As myself
Has been lost in the wealth 
Of light pouring from the sky
And though no one says hi
To me anymore
I don’t care coz the open door
Has just let me in 
And I didn’t need to win
The war she fought with tooth and nail 
The success was in the fail 
And I just let her go
To torment someone else slow 
I wonder will she change 
But I will always be the kind of strange
That sees the city in each pair of eyes
And I hope she never cries
But her docking port will not be here
She can call on the God that is ever near 
And see if he can rescue 
Her soul from what threatens you
I know I’m by the shore 
Waiting for the man I adore 
To finally swim to land
He does and I take his hand
Like it is precious ore
I am not who I was before 
But I can be all that I am 
If that’s okay with you, man

The Irrepressible Nature Of Our Friendship

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The irrepressible nature of our friendship 
It keeps on coming back
It’s not about all the towers we’ve built 
Or the modicum we lack
Coz I see the stars in shapes and places
See it reverberate on faces
As everything comes shining down 
I’m just up the road now you live in town
And we’re far away
Though we used to play
Together at the edge of fields
Now summertime’s the way it yields
To the storm on the western front
It’s not just the season or the time of the month
It’s in clouds that gather a while
And I risk the thunder to see you smile
An eon away
And I’m glad you stay
Though it terrified me to contemplate
The idea of you in that state
It’s in all my nightmares
And it’s me that it scares
When I wake up in the morning
I look outside and the sky is storming
Would you ever believe
In me carrying less than it all on my sleeve
And you sigh
And say your own kind of goodbye
And I try
To make you see the sun
That shines at the heart of everyone
You disagree
And most of all what you say to me
Has me running like silver thread
Pooled like a mothball in my head
Oh, the mountain of you
Do you think it could be in sight of us two
Where we see the horizon
Smiling now that we’ve got our eyes on
It’s effervescent glow
There is little that I show
But one thing that is there for sure
I’ve never found anything so pure
As you and I
Please don’t die
Til our time, love
I hug you coz you were sent from above 
Like a steady angel to my side
You breathe in and I abide
In the place I’ve almost been
The realm of the unseen
The place no hand can touch
Is where I love you, oh, so much

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The Clasp

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I broke the clasp 
Because she didn’t ask 
Me to be who I am 
She had another plan
So I pulled the plug
Now I am on their favourite drug
As I struggle to find 
The part of me I left behind 
When I left her for dust
Amid the tyre tracks and broken trust
And it was hell 
In the days she didn’t wish me well 
The tide, it turned
And something burned 
Inside me 
But some how the light it find me 
And now I’m looking back 
On the attack 
And it seems different somehow
Because I allow
Her to walk all over me 
But, eventually, I let her go free
To find her own direction 
Though I didn’t expect the insurrection 
To arise
And everybody dies 
But sometimes something rise
To meet the pain
And I would do it again 
If I had to 
But I wanted you
To realise
That there are blue skies 
In your darkest foe
I didn’t hate you, I just let you go 
To find your own path
And you may believe in God’s wrath
But I could never find 
That space inside the mind
I had to believe in truth 
And live the passion of my youth
Do I equivocate 
And stand in my place 
Like a good child 
Did you not love me wild 
And free as a bird 
What is it that you heard 
When I spoke to you 
I hope life has been kind to you 
But if it hasn’t 
Know that there’s a space that maddens 
Even those with an even keel 
You are not what you feel

The Refuge I Take (From All That’s At Sea)

.Reading time 1 minute.
The hero of the story is a girl with no name 
And she cast aside all that would cause her shame
And she has been unkind and she has been cruel
But there’s a part in my heart she will always rule 
In the midst of the snowstorms and all the rains
She has been one that shared all my pains
And all of my joys
Above and beyond all the passing boys
That flit across the screen 
I thought when I was a child I would lose her to dream
But sleep never took what we are 
Like night cannot take the brightest star 
And if God made the sun
Did he make her to be my only one 
In shallow pools and in the depths 
In the midnights and in the regrets 
In the wonders I’ll never forget
She reminds me there’s life in me yet
As I age and grow suddenly slow
I haven’t climbed trees for an eon or so 
But I long to race tides across the shore
And shout to a man that I love him more
More than he could ever love me
But he’s lost in the ocean that is all at sea
Plotting and planning boats to overtake
But she just does things for their own sake
And maybe I idealise 
But she is the truth beyond all the lies
Beyond all the fabrication and the sewing thread
She’ll be my best friend til the day that I’m dead

Awake Inside The Dream

.Reading time 1 minute.
Did we make it this far
To be awake within the dream 
The firefights and storms
The illusion as it seems 
And the trapping of delusion
Spreads its grasp 
And I wonder how long 
This darkness can last 
But somehow the sun breaks 
And something within me wakes 
To spell the end of the old domination 
And I’ve learned more through my miseducation 
Than I ever could through books
i steal in glances and furtive looks 
All that is needed to contain
Sometimes the solution is in the pain
That seems to encase the human race
Nothing is bad but that it shows another face
To the sky 
And we are all gonna die
Someday 
But when we live do we walk the way
Of the liberated 
And if we do can it be stated
In between lines and in the silence
I watch men do all the violence
That could ever be contained
And in the summer, it rained 
Like it always does on an Irish Sea
Somehow the time has come to me 
To stand up and be counted
And for all that has amounted 
To my demise
It’s only sunset for the morning to rise
And break a new vista across the scene
Can we speak what can never be seen

Intimacy

.Reading time 1 minute.
Is it futile to spill my words on paper
In the hope I’ll get famous
And you’ll see them later
And reconnect with me 
It’s been an age since I set you free
But you still mean so much and history
Lives in my soul
Somewhere you will not grow old
But I can’t be held by a line
But is it me who’s drawn it all this time
And I’d wink at you and smile
Do you wanna come with me for a while
Just a season or two
We’re making love 
Not making new 
Bodies to fill this earth
And be consumed by the hurt
That seems to issue from the core
But I just love you more 
With all the time that’s passed
Did you doubt this would last?

Is That Okay?

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I don’t know if we are what we were
But I know I would die for her
Or live for the heaven’s breath
In the season of no regret
As we give each other space
Or relive what’s gone without a trace
In our summer skin
Do I slip in a word of him
Though I’m sure she already knows
That when it comes to love, anything goes 
And it sure sings a pretty song
In all the ways we went wrong
While trying to go right
I still love you, alright?

All The Doors I Close

.Reading time 2 minutes.
All the doors I close 
And the people I lose behind them, God knows 
And the first time I committed that crime
Was when a girl was way outta line
She stepped on my toes 
And got in my way, God knows
And the harder I fought my corner 
The more visceral the way she would forlorn ya
So I let the rope go slack
When she said “I don’t know want you back”
And instead of pleading my case
I set the dial to erase
And burned up the photo and memory
Of everything we used to be
All the laughter and the wit
For the sake of the pain and how she hit
It hard with sudden force 
And justifications and no remorse 
And I, so mild and meek
Would be the highlight of her week
Until I crossed her temper 
And the onslaught, I remember 
How she turned friends to foes
Whispers of things only she knows
Til that girl blanks me in the hall
And another puts up a wall
Where there used to be open hands 
And I’m a stranger in these lands
Because I’ve only ever known friends
But we will not make amends 
In this calamitous affair
You wonder do I care
And I do, more than you know
That’s why I’m letting you go
Because your pincers snap
And my map
Had not known this terrain
As I fight the worst of you in vain
And sometimes still
The picture of us never will
Live up to Reality
I’m better off without you and me

Oh Elaine

.Reading time 1 minute.
Oh Elaine whose words of wisdom
Would you use them to forgive them
For me
You were always so eternity
As you encourage the best of me
To keep on with the fight
Like you’re the match and I ignite 
With every spark that fuse
Uses the road to confuse
Me with the skin I know
And I did not let you go
I just had to gain some ground 
So I could hear the sound
Of alone together 
And the weather
Brings me back to your door
I knock and ask if you love me more
For the absence that held
There was something that weld
You to me
In those years infinity
As we traversed the town
And there was no trace of a gown
As we blue jean the scene 
Like a Jane Eye and Lizzie dream
I have the blind hero and you
Are heir to a love most true
That beats in both our hearts
What is it that it imparts
I hope that equanimity 
Still holds the best of me
In the soul of you
It means so much to me that us two
Were what we are
I still drive the car
With the memory of you knocking on the window
To show me left from right though
And you do not let go
I love you always and I hope you know

Memories Of A Subterfuge

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I still remember the laughter of Doireann Fox
Or the way Macken undid all the locks 
The way the hills just cascade
With the joy of the girl they’ve saved
And I got full high on the scene 
But I was kicking it with a wonder dream
As everything is fluorescent light
The vibrant colours to ignite
What I saw in a storm
And when the air is heavy you get warm
But it’s too close in stifling heat
The crack of lightning at my feet
The year Deirdre broke my heart
Took everything, tore it apart
And left me reeling for an age
So I took refuge on the page
As I transcribed a degree of hell
Like Taylor Swift and All Too Well
In monuments to that time
I collapsed and all was fine
So I woke up to the day
The light within that cannot stay
Coz it can’t go anywhere
The sheet of me that it tear
Until I grow to realise
What is behind each pair of eyes
And Ciara is a steady hand
She looks at me and I am grand
Coz she so deeply understand
The winter that I had not planned
Or Sinéad in rocks and stone
With her I am not alone
As she regaled what was said
It’s all just torment in my head
The firing cinders, the blistering heat
The feeling that I cannot meet
Even one more day of time
Then I blinked out of what was mine
And into a sunshine that will brew
It all reflects the heart of you
Into ever deepening soul 
The school of cool as the waves roll

Volcanic

.Reading time 2 minutes.
You can blame me for a century
It’s never gonna make less of me
And you’ve always been something I’ve looked up to
And you’re still hella blue
Like an ocean so deep or a canyon so proud
You don’t need to speak to make something loud
And you’ve got an intricate soul to weave
When you used to say something I would just believe
But now you’re so quiet and absent a stare
It’s hard to know if you’re even there 
Or if I’m just holding out hope
And I know there were days you tried to cope
And sometimes you didn’t manage but you kept your head up
And we don’t need the fireworks to call it love 
Coz you’ve always got a heat that simply burns
Like the earth on an axis around the sun it turns
And I’m left ajar like a door that you’ve opened
And I may have said a thing or two about my elopement
With a boy I don’t really know
But he’s been everywhere I seem to go
And he’s not your superior but he may be your equal
And this midnight might just be a sequel
To a story that begun an eon ago
I just thought that you should know
So I slipped paper planes out between the crack
Of light to say I want him back
And I never really let go of what held me tight
I will be the forest we both ignite
With our cacophonous flame that makes a furnace roar
I watch my spirit fly as you soar
And the rivers pay testament to
The source that was me and you

Empress

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I try so hard to be what you need 
But we both bleed 
From sensitivity and wounds life inflicts 
They say time heals but there’s something that sticks 
And it may be that you
Just can’t bear to walk into 
What walked out into the sky
And I wrestle with the fact that we all die
And that everything is empty air
But I know you were there 
In the years and I look
You’re still an open book
And I love to read 
Something in me was freed
To read between the lines
When will be our time 
To triumph like the lion over the sea
It’s a crowd and they’re worshipping me 
And you, the steady stone 
Let me be with you alone 
You’re a monument of time 
And your poetry rhyme 
When you put it into verse 
You can be a little terse 
With me but I see
Cracks of eternity
Shining like light through the clay
And I stay 
Away so you can have your space 
But I love your face 
And the example you set
A love neither one of us forget
As we age
I get another page 
And scribble down my truth
A shared youth 
And trial by fire
But it only burns to take us higher
Or deeper you could say
A soulmate in the play
Of form
And the storm 
Batters the coast
But somehow you still stand for what I love the most
Truth and integrity
A fierce abandon and wilful sincerity
Matched only by your deep stare
How is it to know we both are there
In the eternal zone 
Just call me when you feel alone 
Coz I am here 
Though death may be ever near
As it threatens me 
With the despair and identity
That will never be enough
To barricade against the love 
That shines relentless 
I think you may be Empress

The Ground And The Sky

.Reading time 2 minutes.
To love you is to jump through hoops
And we are surrounded by suits 
Telling us what to do
But you always walked on your own, didn’t you
And I admire 
Your defiant, blazing fire 
And, the smoke, it plumes 
And fills all the rooms 
With your stardust
I seemed to have just brushed 
It off my shirt
The bathroom and the way it hurt
As I hide in bed 
Back to playing in the shed 
When we were ten years old 
Before the streets were paved with gold 
As I find 
Something time left behind 
I pick up the broach
As, subject to reproach, 
I stand still
And their diamond will
Can’t move me 
Now that I pulse like the sea
In a current deeper due 
And the hue
Of the evening sky
Reflects against my waning lie 
As I learn to be true 
And lean back into You
The one and only that ever is 
There are times I call it His 
Because the language that I’ve learned 
Is to speak of the shrub that burned 
For Moses in the cave 
Or St. Paul and the light that save 
All the Christians from his wrath
It’s a revelation that won’t turn back
From its origin, from its source
And all the remorse 
Washes like waves and the tide 
Pull the heart that keeps me alive
In this body and warm 
As the house is battered by the storm
That I resist
And exist 
As torrential rain
Would I go through it again
Just to see you smile
And all the while 
You endure 
And I pure 
Clash with the waters deep
In the secret that we keep
Enclosed and safe
Entering the holy cave

Photo Credit

Always A Friend

.Reading time 3 minutes.
It was like someone had vomited Christmas 
All over Dean Swift
Did you know for me you were the greatest gift 
As you accompanied me in special care
We had the chats 
You were always there 
Like a big sister, nine years my senior
You gave me your sparkly shoes
And I threw them in the bin
I should’ve just let the love win
But everything was suspect
I made you a picture
A portrait you hung on your wall
I sat on the floor 
In your room down the hall
And you said I made you feel normal
You made me feel less formal 
And after a spate of the horrors
I asked you were we still friends 
You said “Always”
And no matter what the doctor says
I know there’s a reason I’m here 
And, love, I will always hold you dear
And I wonder where you are now 
I hope you’re good 
I got the sense you were lost in the wood
You said I had a broken wing
But, my God, that bird can sing
And you can make any forest look free
You were the definition of friend to me
As Barry looks in the window 
In the smoking room, I nod at him, though
And we vibe up a storm
I love how you make a room warm
With your subtle stare 
Can’t control me but I know you care 
In your finest hue
I’m so glad that I met you
Like a godsend in that place
It didn’t all go to waste
As you wave from through the glass 
I’m still here, if you need to ask
So, somewhere on the internet I throw you a smile
And hope your Bonny’s kept you company all this while 
And I guess what I mean is thanks for the love and acceptance 
You made hell feel like a lesson
That I just have to master
(Though it didn’t get us out any faster)
Here’s my drink, cheers to you
I hear the glass clink as you raise yours too
Just a message of love 
And knowing our friendship fit like a glove 
In our coloured ink
Just trust in love to let the heart sink
Into where it’s always been 
The waking was the best part of the dream

The Girl Time Forgot

.Reading time 1 minute.
I once loved the girl time forgot
Coz she is everything that I’m not
And we fuse at the edges 
Welded, neighbours over hedges 
Stare at us 
But the trust 
Just drops like a fall away floor
We’re both pulled through
And I can no longer see you
Or the shadow you cast
But the damn thing last
And I swim through the sea
That is pulsing with eternity
Do you think she still loves me
And would she be ashamed 
If I ever uttered her name 
Without the inflection 
The burn of rejection 
Hits home hard 
And I would play but I don’t have a card
To hand out to you
I’m more than what they put me through
For the sake of some belief
And it was relief
To sit in the smoking room
Chatting to someone else’s doom 
About what to do about the saga
And I could say I don’t love the drama 
But I do 
It’s darkness that draws me to you
As you pulse with hidden light
I stop the stare; are you alright
But no reply is all I ever get
I cannot forget
The way the knife twist
When I don’t exist
In your Universe 
The stage is set and we rehearse

The Sweetness Of Stephen

.Reading time 1 minute.
The sweetness of Stephen 
He says my name 
And I know neither of us 
Will ever be the same 
As the softness just pours from you
Michelle calls you a dote
And I feel a pang of jealousy 
I’m afraid I must quote 
And you inflect your verbs 
People say things are just words
But the monumental silence echoes in your tone
And we are together, alone 
Sitting in two chairs facing each other
I feel I must have met my soul brother 
As we discuss the elemental freedom
The people and the ones who see them
And I wonder how many souls you have guided out
I feel you drop your self doubt
As we talk 
You laugh and I walk
To the sound of your music 
And you know I wouldn’t choose it
But it sure would be great
To be in a state 
Just so you could pull me out by my arm
And I thought Jesus was full of charm 
But He looks like you and I wonder why
Such a cool guy
Could be a shade of shy
When he talks to me 
I know you see
Into the beyond 
I wonder would a dumb blonde 
Tempt your eye 
And I show you my shade of sky 
As we just theorise 
I know that half of it is lies 
They have fed to the ones who eat
But it’s different when we meet

Eternal Soulmate

.Reading time 1 minute.
Did I leave Daz behind
Because he’s still on my mind
And it’s so 2003
To think he’s still into me
Blink-182 poster behind his head
As he’s sitting on the bed
With that smile that begets the name
The world rocked and I was not the same
In our bond
And I abscond
But I take something of his air
With me as a prayer
I say into the sky
Please let him love the way I lie
And he looks at me, I look back
Does he know I’m having a heart attack
When he pulls a funny face
And his love gives me a place
To reside
Do I need to hide
The heartbeat
That simply fell at his feet
As we walk out of the bar
Or when I picked him up in my car
Or when he ran from me
I chased him down so he might see
I mean what I say when I say Eternity

That String Came Loose

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’ll always love him
But I don’t think we’ll be together 
Because the weather
Knows me better
Than he ever could 
And I’m knocking on wood 
To find the voice
To speak to Love about the power of choice 
In these spring time days 
And there are so many ways 
You can lose a friend 
I watched the sun set and the end
Begin again so slow
How do you love what you must let go
How can a woman with child
Not crave the wild
And free she used to be 
It’s just not for me 
And no summer can contain
What just came down as rain
And I fainted with the pain
Of knowing oh too slow
That she never cared what happened to me, so
I pull the switch
And I watch the screen begin to trip
On what it holds
Oh, the immortal of our souls
Could never be bound
And the holy sound
Of freedom beckons 
What do you reckon
Do we untie the string
I loved her and I lost everything

Rattlesnake

.Reading time 1 minute.
There is a rattlesnake at my door
It whispers eclipse and a little bit more 
As I run for my life
But the rope is of being a wife
And I could have that scene I wanted to
Today's the first time I thought about you
In that way
And I say
It always comes with some sort of dread
But somehow I'm not thinking of your bed
Just your sullen eyes
And the way they barely disguise 
The heart within
Could I touch your sin
And heal you of your pain
If I make the water fall like the softest rain
Come to touch your skin
You don't remind me of him
Yet something's the same 
And your name 
Plays on repeat
I'm still on my feet
When I'm talking to you
Not knocked to the side like the thread's pulling through
To stitch a whole scene
It's just this moment and it's not a dream 
To say you're a really nice dude 
And you kinda exude
A warmth and a heart
And I would love to be a part
Of your friendship zone
I just want you to know you're not alone

Her Due Is Worth

.Reading time 1 minute.
Amazon.com: Romantic Quote Poster. We Were Together. I Forget the Rest Walt  Whitman Literary Print For School, Library, Office or Home : Handmade  Products
How do I pay her her due
Coz she was there when I needed you
In the young years of being misunderstood
She was like an atlas in this wood
Like a compass, like a dial
The queen of making someone smile
And hard times hit her and I tried to defend
But what can you say to your best friend
When you see the cascade at the mouth
Of the ocean you have come to doubt
In your seafaring ways
They were the worst of days
But they were also the best
Because we were like none of the rest
In our individual stance
And I just wanna dance
And know that she does too
I wish she knew how I felt about you 
Coz I feel sure she'd take action
And I speak your name like an infraction
Coz you're tied to another extreme
And wanting you would realise every dream 
I've ever had 
And I know I made you mad 
With my defiant stare
But I am there 
Or should I say here
The earth quakes when you are near
But she taught me of the eternal rock 
The one that's steady when you are not 
And I know we're just a ship that's sailed
But something within us has never failed
To meet the tide at it's best
I love her, and I forget the rest

Composition

.Reading time 1 minute.
Staying up all night writing rhymes
Just get a damn job
But I’ve got inspired
And I would only rob
Future generations of all their freedom
I know this is good but will anyone see them
To be Amadeus out on the line
I’ve got to get it down like the thousandth time
As it rattles in my head like an old guitar
I scribble my life down at the bar
As the summer is storming and the winter is cold
And I’ve got global warming to face as I grow old 
And we’re all just sheets of paper from the end
But we’ve got our lives left to pretend
That we’re not these vessels and we can’t contain 
An ocean’s worth of indefatigable pain
As I see in you what I feel in me
We’ve both got our roots in Eternity

Everest

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Her pain is a mountain
That I can’t scale 
Like many on Everest
I’m born to fail
But I keep coming back
To her heavenly light
Whispers in the morning
You’ll be alright
And we grow up
Dust ourselves off
But we’ve still got 
That persistent cough
That hints at something
Underneath
She lowers a blow
Knocks me off my feet
And I know 
She don’t mean it
But did I 
Dream it
That we once were something true
Until I disappointed you
By being myself 
In a garden of verdant wealth
All to blossom and free
Sorry but, babe, you’re gnawing at me

One Kiss Love

.Reading time 1 minute.
He’s not up for one kiss love
And I am ocean but there’s a dove
Come to bring news of nourishment 
It’s not many who need encouragement 
To sail that way across the sea
When they find dry land they’ll forget about me
But something in his smiles’s forever
Not changeable as the weather
And he may not be right for me
But right now is all I see
And he’s got emotions that shiver me timbers
He could spin the whole world on the tips of his fingers 
And I hope he remembers our moment so still
And the light catch his eyes, oh I always will
And hope and pray your life has been good
It’s like living in forests, surrounded I stood
But he gave me ways to breathe afresh
And find solemn ways out of this mess
As we crush a penny into a shape
It’s red that we find in our softest escape 

Photo Credit: https://pin.it/3VIRmKs

Her Own Shore

.Reading time 5 minutes.
She’s low in her boots
I can feel the roots
Intertwine with mine
As we both proclaim we’re fine
And try to be what we were
I used to be empty without her
And crave to find her company
Now I just let her be
As she navigates her own shore
Thinking we don’t love each other anymore 
But she’ll always have a place inside my heart
Even though we may be apart
Or unable to communicate in a way that’s true
You’re a mountain to me, darling, do you
Know that, my dear
I wipe the glass so it’s crystal clear
And we drive all over town 
Do you still hear the sound
Of the steady chasm call
I just want you to know, that’s all
That we
Forever be
Eternal and true
I was looking for the One
All the while I had you
And appreciate
When I was in that state
To be guided, steady hand
As you play a rock band
I’m not really into
But it’s important to you
So I listen
Teardrops glisten
As he riffs a guitar
Oh, in the wonder of what you are
I don’t know
The places you go
When you’re tired and alone
I call but you don’t answer the phone
Would you understand
If I said I had planned 
A season or two
Where the autumn leaves fly just for you
As the colours change
Atoms and molecules rearrange
Like they will for us too
A plurality of weaving things through
Don’t go
There’s so much I haven’t said, you know
And there are ages
To pay testament to
The depth that I
Witness in you
You’re a star
And by the bar
You raise it high
I exclaim; I’m not afraid to die
As I shake in my soul
You are the weather that cannot be told 
And a storm
Are a galaxy swirl
You have to be the scene of the girl
As she rides off alone unto the horizon
I would say I called it but it’s still surprising
Would you stay
If I asked you just for me, okay?
Coz it’s midnight without your dawn
And I can’t abide the thought of you gone
Don’t worry
I’m not in a hurry
To go picking up leaves
And everyone just believes 
In the story they’re told
I will be brave, I will be bold
And ask
You to drop the mask
And just share
In the depths of the ocean know that I care 
And will open the door
If you still want me, I implore
Don’t let the time go by
The ways and means, the way I cry
Is it just an incomplete 
Coz I’m always begging at your feet
For you to change the tune
The earth quakes when you’re in the room
And I didn’t forget
I just thought that room was to let
In the forest where I ran
And you found something I don’t know if I can
In the cycle role
What is the meaning of the soul
Coz you exclaim
Could you just call me by my name
And not let go
Every breath that I breathe is for you, you know
And the wind howls and knocks on the shutters
I catch every word she barely utters
Could peace come to last
In a gentle warmth, not a furnace blast
As everything precarious, tips on the scale
I know that I’m bought but it’s not for sale
To anyone else
And mental health
Is a slogan or two
Do you see the needle as it’s pulling through
Or just the tapestry sewn
Do you know how we have grown
To be side by side 
I thank the Lord you are alive
And shining from skies 
In the place where we’re free there are no goodbyes
Or futile tries
I’ll see you soon to look in your eyes
And know
That it’s mutual, this feeling we show
In the years and time
In for a nickel, a penny, a dime
In all the ages
And the ripped pages
Of the story we write
I dust myself off, say I’ll be alright
As the leaves blow
I’ll be up to the challenge, you know

Friendship Bracelets

.Reading time 1 minute.
They make the friendship bracelets for each other 
Going to the Taylor Swift concert 
And there may be a stadium full
But, still, their skin’s as thin as cotton wool 
Coz she’s sensitive
This goddess that we address
Singing of years in the machine
And being true to her dream
That’s what you get
When you cannot forget
What you are
And she is no superstar
She’s down to earth
And recounts the way it hurts
When the waves crash
Life superceded by a dash 
Between the beginning and end 
And I’ve had a friend 
Who gave one to me 
It shattered but in twenty three
I still keep the pieces 
And my love for her never ceases
Lest we entertain 
What’s been done for us in vain
Like acid rain
Peels the paint off your car
And travelers dare to go far
But by Kilglass lake 
I found something I will not forsake

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

.Reading time 1 minute.
Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

Taco Belle

.Reading time 1 minute.
I find furrows in the wood exploring with you
And more often than not it’s just us two
Brushing through reeds in Derrymacstuir
When I’m in need I know I can call her
To listen to my ramblings for a little while
She cracks me up and makes me smile
And there’s something of longing in her absent stare
Like she’s wishing for something in particular to be there
And I try to hold up, to carry the fort
In the years in between as we man the fort
Over the garden that’s grown between us
There’s something of magic, there’s something of trust
And I know I can rely on her steady heart
In the years and seasons we’ve been apart
In the moments when there’s an ocean in between 
We rip up the map coz it’s just a dream
And all of the separation that seems to be
Hanging in the air between you and me
Is nothing in the magnitude of what’s always been
I salute you, honey, coz you are the queen

Beautiful Star

.Reading time 2 minutes.
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Beautiful star
I wonder do you know how lovely you are
I stole that line 
From a singer I met in the midst of time
But an open scene 
Is where the clouds part and the dream
Reveals itself to be something true
Only the illusion revolved around you
Now I count the beat
Of each heart pump that rhythms my feet
As I walk on and on
Til the pedestal I stand on is long gone
And she scorched the earth
I stood upon and the consequent hurt
Was blamed on her
But I wonder do I know what we were
As I allow
The branch to bend as it leaves a bough
Out to me to take like a dove
An olive branch sent from above
I blamed the scar
But would I know what we are
Without the pain
Are you dry until you know rain
Well maybe it's true
But the contrast shows it up to you 
God give me faith
And the strength not to hate
Those who do me ill
Coz they are just vessels of your will
To send me deeper into the fold
Until I discover beneath the clay there is gold
Hidden in mud from marauding bands
Now I'm in the music and we're holding hands
Like we'll never part
As the man exclaims; make art, make art
And I know I'm too quick
And the judge is a brick
I hurl through the glass
Just because I was good in class
I seek to find
The prison that I left behind
An eon ago
I ask Jesus to just let me know
As if he's my personal friend
But he showed me a love that will never end
And so I defy
Anyone who dares look in my eye
The depth of soul
That lies beneath the waves that roll
To quench the storm
Don't you know that the warm
Is as much part of the sea
As the tornado at the core of me

The Hidden Dark

.Reading time 1 minute.
Running from the dark wolf in my closet
That wasn’t a sin now was it
Coz I’ve been recounting tales
Since I was knee high 
And everything that lives seems to die
And I don’t know why
So I fight and I toil 
And I break and I boil 
Coz there are atrocities 
In the human endeavor 
And I’ve always been seduced
By the promise of forever 
Coz it’s bulletproof 
And no matter how aloof
She is I know 
There’s part of us that don’t let go
In the years we grow
Up and out
And our self doubt
In a mountain aware
I love the feeling of you being there

In Separate Spheres

.Reading time 1 minute.
The fire’s alight with every fuse that it burns 
And I just fall in love as the sun burns 
On the axis of you
What the hell am I supposed to do 
With all these feelings I’ve got 
That I think time forgot 
In the aching I feel
And was that time real
When we hopped a scotch
And I pulled into your parking lot
To pick you up
They say a hand to a glove
Is all that you need
But you made me bleed
On January 21st 
I didn’t let on when it hurt
And you took up with her
I just watched without a word 
And let on I didn’t care 
You ran a hand through your hair
But I was there
And I still am
Guess that wasn’t part of your plan
To keep your guard dog lover throughout the years
I’d silence waves like I do your fears
Kiss you on the crest
And find the man that knows me best

Syllables

.Reading time 1 minute.
That single syllable that’s uttered inside
Does it go away when a person has died
That resounding Om
Does it disappear or does it just go home
And the gong, it rings
The spirit sings
And we are entrapped in everythings 
Like diamonds, jewels, bands of gold
What you buy and what isn’t sold
I left the mountain I hold so dear
I abandoned a friend and it’s crystal clear
That I did her wrong
And her song
Sings to me in the darkest night
Lord, I hope she is alright
Because she had to fight fire and bone
Stand up straight when she was all alone
And she’s always been something like home
Though I no longer stare at my phone
Hoping something will come through
And that I might hear from you
Like the days of yore
And what we all were before
The crystal glass cracked and shattered
Like a cod we’re a little bit battered
And I don’t pretend to entertain
What you lived out in vain
But the rain
Falls on all of us
And trust
Is not something you can break
When it is constant and for my sake
The glistening
Of a bird on the wing
As it shoots through the sky
Suspended between what will and will not die
Will always rise
And the horizon
Will always shine
It is minute but it is mine

Somewhere In The Multiverse

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Is everyone trying to escape
That vast, empty space
And I hold her at a distance
Arms length, or resistance
Coz she can't know
How I let you go
And the awning abyss
Is the only man I kiss
In the winter of my life
When I'm trying to survive the strife
Under the cover building turf
Could you tell me which is worse
Indifference or indecision
And I know you were subject of derision
But I shared 
In every vessel that cared
How the ship would float
And that boat 
Still sails a sea
Somewhere in the multiverse with me

Ultramarine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Saving orcas down by the pond
And you didn't know but I waited there til you were gone
And you'll never see
But I wanted to ask if you would marry me
With your poetic stare
You captivate people who aren't even there
And I missed the day you filmed with your latest band
And laughed out loud and said it'll be grand
Cause you've got that mysticism 
Carving a river with the blades of a prism 
And bending lines of truth like light through the water
I was afraid to be such a daughter
Because you are like no one else
And your hand magnetises atoms the molecules felt 
As you hold me close
Not with arms but a holy ghost
And you be company
In the darkest night when guns ignite you sat next to me
In midnight blues
That turn into mornings that can't handle you
Cause you are so delicately fine
And I'm afraid I will crush in the vice of my love what I want to be mine
But you are not for the taking
You've got your own soul mixed with the rock and roll of the path you are making
You beat your own track
And I fear I will never cross your piercing endeavour on my way back
Now you've got a success life
And I'm just a drifter who wonders if you missed her cause you said I was nice
I guess I never felt enough
To fill the chasm or the hole in the depths of your soul with a glass bottle love 
You are magic beams
When I wonder if this earth is all that I'm worth you speak to my dreams
I wish I was like you
So fearlessly true
And unafraid
Yes I confess, you marked the spot
Where the Last Airbender won't fail to remember what you thought she forgot 
I hold a star for you
And I plot the chart of my constellation heart every night that comes through
Stay forestry amid the plain
I cracked the stone and I let the rain

Your Own

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
You showed me the sky
It was your own shade of blue
And there is a timelessness 
That lives in you
And everyone you touch
Is a resonant hum 
It took me ten years
To see you’re the One
The One in All
The Jesus who stands
The love of my life
When I’m holding your hands
And they’re soft to the touch
And gentle and warm
Who’d ever have known
We’d have kicked up a storm
Like dust under feet
When the wind blows a tune
Something is echoing
Now you’re in the room

The Threatening Stone

.Reading time 1 minute.
I can’t be ruled by the threatening stone
A world with me in it all alone
As I get by on each step I take
Dreaming of ways that you might wake
And it’s never on a Sunday when I’m at my brightest
Like water as vapor it still takes the lightest
Voice in the room rise to the sound
And it’s been so long you haven’t been around
And I’ve been getting by
And I really try
To shine but it’s getting dimmer
Each time they repeat that love is a sinner
And I try to hold on to the sword as it stays
Embedded in ice as the music plays
And we rise like a forest out of the ground
Hear winter call like it’s just a sound 
As the monument tome to all we once were
Is reimagined one moment with her
And I’ve spent so long trying to gain traction
Then I’m overruled by one interaction 
As the speeding van plays the sonnets we know
All for one so don’t let go

Photo:https://pin.it/nnGpZ0B

Free

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’ve got these pair of wings
Behind a heart that sings
And it spreads out to occupy 
There’s a part of me that will never die
Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite 
Is it alright
If I speak of the moment great
When I outgrew the hate
But just for an instant and then recede
I tell the people but they don’t believe
In what I gotta say
Is it okay
If I tell you a story new
Of a room and vibrant blue
And I found myself on the floor
Drew my first breath and I adore
The world I’ve been born into
And it’s always been you
I wanted to tell
Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell 
And you’ve been by my side for an eon
But there’s nothing we seem to agree on
But the war we wage
Could you understand if I wrote a page
In testament to what you are
You’re more than a burning star
Coz you will never go out
And I will give leave to my mouth
To speak what I gotta say
I love you, is that okay 


Photo Credit: https://pin.it/6Sh0cnx

Battered And Bruised

.Reading time 1 minute.
Is she battered and bruised
Or just slightly used
Coz I can’t clamber back up
Into the heights of our love
It’s like something has been locked out
And it smacks of my doubt
In a crescent moon
And is the end coming soon
Or do we have time
Is it a holy crime
To count the days of tomorrow as now
Coz life won’t let me somehow
It gives me clear directions and tells me write
I look up and you’re alright
So I dip my quill
Let the ink spill
And though I never will
I paint pictures with the upmost skill
Until
The bell chimes
And we’re full of “I’m fine”s
But how are you really
And do you feel me
Or is it just refraction
I’m stifled by my own inaction
In the face of war
Could you tell me what it’s for
Coz I hear the gun ring out
And my self doubt
Spirals a song
Could you tell me what I’m doing wrong?
And I feel our humanity
But it’s just not up to me
As I swim in the stream
Against the current and it’s a dream
Can I wake up now
I’ll hold your hand if you allow
So that we both might stir
My reflection in the still of her

Rockets

.Reading time 1 minute.
I was just walking home with Daz
Wondering about that shine he has
And I would’ve asked him up
If I thought he’d’ve wanted a cup
Of tea to warm our bones
Coz we are so far from home
Here in this big city
And it’s a bit shitty
I never told you how I felt
Never let on the cards were dealt
The first time you smiled at me
You know you made me feel pretty
And I feel so aged and old
But it’s not too late for our story to be told
And I wonder how you are
Did you find a star
To shine as bright as you do
And do I still mean something to you?

Key Under The Mat

.Reading time 1 minute.
Is this an artist’s rendering
Of unimaginable pain
It all came down on me
Like thunderous rain
And I look afar
There was no sign
But I’m still so sure
Of what was once mine
That’s just barely there
But still it is
I was hers 
Before I was his
And all I do is hide it
There are days I can’t abide it
But I trudge through the snow
Is it wrong to let her know
How much I suffered without her
And I’m all faith but there are days a doubter
Like Thomas and the Saviour
It took years to raise her
Up from the phoenix and ash
I swore I’d be there if you’d ever come back
But it’s like using a cane 
To get around
It works but it’s not the exact sound
Of the step I used to know
And I can’t let go
Of all the people I love
The ones beside me
The ones above
The days that close in the evening
The team and Don’t Stop Believing
In all that you used to be
Is there somewhere it is you and me?

Coastline

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Find your way back to me
Make future history 
And stories we can tell the grandchildren 
That gather round the hearth
And what you save for me in the dark
And you can tell her she’s welcome too
Or I am with her and you
It’s just I can’t write this off
And it’s not a sunk cost
But something I’d invest in
Even if it didn’t win
And there have been trees in the forest of me
Falling onto pine needle dignity
As they hold me against my will
And all of my senselessness spill
Into hilarity
I’m laughing at the thought of you and me 
On my bed in a chasm
And I love that she still has him
Coz they look so perfect together
And d’ya know it’s lovely weather
For a sky to break
And I’m counting every breath I take
Coz they’re numbered 
And have you ever wondered
Just what’s fueling your love affair
Don’t you feel me there
In lashes and guilt and opening doors
Are men too quick to call women whores 
For being connected to another dimension 
And this is just a logical extension
Of the need to be
Quintessentially free
Did I learn from my degree
That she
In effervescent tones
Sparkles when you’re all alone 
And diamonds can’t buy what’s given
Some people survive and call it living
And I gotta say
I can’t save this for another day
But anyway
Hit me up, if that’s okay?

Writing My Storm

.Reading time 1 minute.
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com
Writing my storm
Well, at least I'm warm
Coz the thunder rumbles 
And the lightning cracks ground 
And I can feel the heat surround 
As the cold front meets it match
An opposite in a roof of thatch
As it sets fire to what it knows
And it's, you know, anything goes
And I've destroyed everything I once had
I speak my mind and I feel bad 
But at least I'm living 
Is it time for more forgiving 
Of the grudge match I keep with her
Coz I'm mad at what we were 
As she'd take a little pick
And chip away at me, so to speak 
Carving out a Michelangelo
From all the places I will not go 
Til suddenly the dial it spins 
And she's cast from my withins
In a door slamming shut on time
I can't acquit you for this crime
Coz if I did you'd do it again
And I don't know if I can call you friend
As you take what you used to know
And sacrifice it on the go
On an altar you worship days 
And I'm confused in so many ways
Coz I thought we were cool but I resolve
Not to be a problem to solve
But the answer I've always craved
I guess it's Heaven and the unsaved

Alive Tonight

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Getting drunk in the city
Darragh’s cute and Johnroy is witty
And Liosa and Isabelle are so pretty
Im too smart and that’s a pity
And I feel lost in the move of the club
Marian holds my hand as we walk round the pub
And it’s a sprawling mess but it’s divine
The days UCD was mine
And I did less learning than ever before
Don’t you see how the sun lit up the floor
As we did a skit about being D4
I’d never been that sassy before 
But it only made us closer as a group
And I was just sitting on the stoop
When he laughed and told a joke
And he smiles so I don’t have to cope
With this damn state of mind that’s dragging me under
He is the clouds
But I am the thunder
And I just rumble 
Into the town that we own
He’s older than me
But you never would’ve known
As he bought me a drink
That said don’t think
Too much about those things
He makes a face and my heart sings
He throws his arm casually round my shoulder
And I feel I’ve just dropped the boulder
That I’ve been rolling up this hill
He lets me see his heart at will
It’s lockdown and I’m thinking of him
Wondering if he kept that grin
And nothing burns like gasoline
You’re the fire in my dream
And I never told you what you wanted me to
Could you see that I love you?
And he probably has a furnace to build
He’s the red in my heart and it cannot be filled
With the memory of what we were
Can I present tense the moment I’m her 
As we’re running down aisles and chasing down stars
And Rob, you know, he plays guitars 
And I just wish I could be involved 
Coz this damn problem’s never solved 
But I wouldn’t change it, because we met
I hold a space in my soul for you yet