The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady And I dunno but I think that she hates me For intruding on their sacred space But he was a drug I loved to taste And the hit was high And it’s so hard to say goodbye Like it’s a final sort of end Or worse maybe we’re still friends And he could call me pal But I’m not a second best sort of gal I’d rather cut my losses and run Find something else that shines the sun And who knows, maybe it’s not a man Maybe there’s no limit to what I can Do It’s just not you And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony Listening to that guy that’s lonely And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note Give him letters that he can quote Like before When he beat a path to my door Only for me to fly And the year the whole world threatened to die In a storming cavalcade Is it a fate we can evade Or is it an absolute rest We get the day before the test
Stuck in ‘08 It was my date with fate As it led me to your door Did you want me more More than I can attest And we’re both fully dressed But I feel your eyes rake over me Like we’re naked with destiny Just us and the come what may And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding But there’s something of love that is all abiding Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else With skin so thin you could make a heart melt With the fire that burns off you It seared a part of me too And I can’t change the fact of you I’m not the same and neither are you But we both kinda are Like the atoms forged in a star Or the matter that make time and space Bend the equivalent of the human race To the tune of light refract I never said no but I still want you back Standing outside my window It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though And I cannot deny my feelings were real With the depth of the red that he deal An ace of hearts And mine almost starts To beat double time He was the essence of fine As he’d crack a smile in my direction Like he’s open to cards if I make selection And he lives just across the hall And he kinda caught the ball When I threw it at him Is it a decision I cannot win Coz I love them all The truth in my own freefall
Incognito window, I’m under the radar I don’t know about the force or Darth Vadar But I know that I can make planets spin With the love that’s inside and the peace within And it’s all blowing leaves off the trees There are no words for the wonder it frees When the weight just drops The what you are’s in the space the love’s got And I am not a mountain but I am not hill I can move power with the strength of will And she never helped me out But I guess that’s just the space in doubt To be forgotten or held so close Do you see through what I love the most Or must I just let it die Not be afraid to spill tears and cry Over what is yet to come And a woman takes away the man’s son What can you do but acquiesce The movement’s in the way you dress And shoulder weight like diamond mines I’d let it go coz it’s fine In the sunshine and the rain I don’t think that I can do this again So I relinquish the right to be wrong And open heart into a song To make it alright again I give up on the world you spin
Muddy shoes walk all over my floor As I proclaim it’s a man that I adore And it could be Christ the King Or the boy with a broken wing All I know is that the stars announce The girl I was, the one that you denounce As I place one foot in front of another Never knew what it was like to have a brother Who watches my back Just a girl and the attack Was launched on me Fifteen years and I’m still not free Of what she inflicted And don’t worry, you haven’t dicked it It just I carry the scar that hurts I blame you for it and what’s worse Is that I make myself suffer for what never was I don’t know gravity because When I was brought down to earth I was in open space and the dirt Is evidence on my coat That I met a Holy Ghost
She lies in bed Coz she can’t get up But it ain’t depression It is love And the dearth of a need To move at all What’s wrong, they say But it’s a freefall And there’s open air and space The old guard gone without a trace Coz I sigh This is not goodbye But a hello to a new realm And they are all the same With their witchy ways and locks But he knows how to make the bed rock With his sudden sigh And am I wrong or is he a little shy Around me It confounds me How they could eat up time And rub a ring until it shine Like a new pearl I gave my heart You gave me the world
Am I about to dive into the rabbithole scene I haven’t felt love like this since it was just a dream And his words are fuckin’ insane But I still remember his name And the way his hair curls around in locks The way he walks a palace that time forgot And shows me in mornings what’s up for the day At least that’s what she said when I asked her, okay? And you know in the quiet what’s left to be said You’re always making your home where you lay your head And find something honest and real and true That was just with them and now it’s with you In the maybes you ache as you shout a refrain I love the hope of you and I walked through the rain To be the storm centre, the very eye Take care of yourself and make sure you don’t die At least for another fifty or so years Make art out of pain when the canvas is tears And look up to the heavens when the sky clears I drink one to you when I’m having my beers I’ll laugh out loud and simply guffaw When I’m running from stares and the vacancy law That seems to hold court and company I don’t know about you but I’m down on one knee Professing my love to the moon and stars Do you remember the days when it was prison bars And nothing meant anything to anyone you know Now you wave at me as I watch you go With the train that has taken you from the station I guess congrats are in order for the celebration Of all you have earned that is duly yours And I know you could say that this is all words When I never make it out of the snowstorm that snaps Full of whodunnits and who gives a craps And at least if I’m honest I’ll say this to you You gave perfect a spin now the ancient is new Now the midnight is dawn and all the renew You cut fabric in strips out of jeans that are blue So you’ve something to wear when the darkness escapes And teach me the truth that not all heroes wear capes
I spent my youth fearing old age Now I’m finally flipping the page And finding out that the aforementioned Is really not in this dimension Because I extend out Far beyond the realms of doubt To the furnace roar and the circumstance Do you know the electrons dance In perpetual motion And nothing can replace devotion In the furthering of things And a million rings Cannot make me replace The love that I came here to taste And just drink in It wasn’t just with him But everyone Everyone the immaculate Son Of Destiny Do you think he thinks of me With his hand on the trigger A rifle to fire But love’s not down low But somewhere higher To take in the vista And one can only say “I missed ya” If you believe the lie People we love cannot die But fly On immutable wings And everything in creation sings Of its unborn nature My love, I could never hate ya
Why do I love the thing I hate He spits out; I made him wait And we’re at odds again And he isn’t even my friend Anymore He closed the door So why do I wait outside in the freezing cold Some would say I’m being bold But one thing is the story told Must pave its own way to the forest Am I only being honest Or do I live the lie What it is like to die I ponder it in bed at night Coz the darkness absorbs the light And I’ve slept better since I got this lamp The Himalayan sea salt absorbs the damp That used to make its way into my bones Now I’m split between alternate homes And everywhere I go I fray But I’m really doing okay It’s just this uncertainty Set up like it’s her or me And a just divide is remote I catalogue the things I quote In my phone, in a book, on a ripped page I burn some incense and strike up some sage Until I’m all but zoning out High on lies and all my doubt And tomorrow won’t remember All the hope I felt engender On the cusp of a riverbed What was it that guy said That every dog must have its day But mine is over so I say That I’ll let it be and come what may I’ll leave the grass you made me stay Upon for a moment or two It is an eon this dream of you But the grasp is getting weak And now we don’t even speak And you can’t hold back what won’t cry I am not afraid to die Because I saw through the whole scene And now it’s like I live the dream With two brand new eyes Awakening, the best surprise
The myth of myself I rivet the dawn And make preparations For when it is all gone Coz it won’t last forever This person that I’ve made You only know the sun When you’re standing in the shade You only know the midnight Because come the dawn You wake up to the instant That you truly belong
It’s not the poignant moments that make me cry It’s contemplating that we all die And you can never keep the sand That just slips out of your hand Like it’s an hourglass you flip Though you’re not in control of it And everyone you love will age Like rumpled quilts on a stilted page Is it more than mere grief I let it out and there’s relief But more of thunder and a river held back But you can’t dam the thing you lack Only ache for a better day I let you know coz I love you, okay?
I know people are saying I’m highly strung And there’s all these celebrities dying young And there was a time 27 seemed old Now it’s with the story that’s already been told And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps There’s no telling what’s running off these maps And it was in a moment I just collapse Like the fire of a synapse As it blazes down an avenue Into the room it just walks through And strikes me like a light from above It’s is a kind of redemptive love And it burned away what I couldn’t see So I could live the destiny Right there on the classroom floor As green as the grass I adore And they say it might have just been a fit An epileptic, nothing to do with The glory of the sky Just the taste of what it is to die As I wake up a new girl in the air It was as though He had answered prayer And finally it was there A wisp of wind that told me to care And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies I remember how this always tries To remind me of just what I am And that everything is part of the plan As we grow up into adult moves Bodies that say what they need to prove What they are at the shore But I couldn’t have loved you more And you look at me as though you suspect That there might be trouble coming next Because, God knows, your head is wrecked And it’s everything that it affects But I just bring the smoothest balm To wait in the wings and stay calm And show you what you mean to me Now that the pain is history And you are just a love I teach I’m doing cartwheels on the beach Now that I have your rapt attention But there are days I dare not mention When the tide went out and the water receded It was as though you were all I needed But I saw something in the sky To reflect the blue of your eye And how I know I’m not alone When I hear your voice on the phone And everything you mean to me Comes flooding back like history That you could mean the words you say And that everything might be okay As I finally give in to let the bay Take care of me, come what may
I am the place I’m looking to get And it’s just an illusion to say I’m not there yet Coz I stand in my own pair of boots Anchored like tree who has roots Deep in the soil drawing up Water and nutrients like they are love And lead to me flourishing with leaves of green Nothing isn’t all that it may seem And I’m used like ink in the nib of a pen I’ll just jot down, can I write it again And Now comes to pass as always is The magic is that I am His
It’s a beautiful Saturday evening Crisp and clean Like you’d be playing football On our field of dreams And I couldn’t reconcile The golden green mile I had to walk Through valleys of talk And ideals ripped asunder Days when my number Was up But love Pushed me through the needle eye Coz it’s not my time to die At least not just yet But I don’t forget Our moment out of time And the instant you were mine I held a holy hand And it was like sand Slipping through my fingers Where are the bringers Of the doom I seem to sense And the forest is dense But I’m all good Pine cone bed in the middle of the wood
The life I swore I wouldn’t live in I just crawled back towards the sin And made a stick house out of lollipop sticks Chew gum and hope that something sticks Coz I’m out in the open when I’m with you I shed my clothes coz you asked me to And in my defense I have none I gave it up for God’s Son And I’m humming mobile as I walk Wonder if I’m just all talk Or does the substance of me Have something to give you for free But you’re all tied up with her Denying everything we ever were And I’m the last one in the club (But I say no to the drug) You just offer up But I can’t call this love Not when you bargain a chip Then say I’m the one with it The last one at the table Look at me if you’re able Coz you drop your eyes Like there is no disguise That could ever keep us apart And I must admit I am all heart When it’s beating for you Don’t walk away just coz I asked you to I’m just scared that’s all (And you are really tall) Could you maybe hold my hand For a moment’s change before the sand Runs out of the hourglass Did I ever tell you you are class!
Imma bounce Like a cat about to pounce Or the people you denounce Coz I just can’t stay still in chains I look up to the sky and it rains Open air and fresh water blues You know the breeze smells of you Like fresh grass or school in the nineties era Kind of scary and I feared ya When you looked deeply into me What is it that you see Coz your eyes are golden And no one would believe me even if I’d told em But you stay still and silent as the grave I never knew my own power to save With my mere presence alone Now you’re just on the other end of a phone And I followed every line you dropped Til the moment when it just stopped And I couldn’t contain the rush Is it now we get to touch Coz we seem separated by a million miles But I could never pay for one of your smiles It radiates like a frequency to burn I swear you make the world turn
We can’t take one moment for granted Nothing’s guaranteed Life ends in death We rely on the blood we bleed To keep the body going I look out the window And the sky is snowing Everything lending itself to another The rain is frozen And I lost a brother In the storm The river flowed I may have taken the less travelled road But it wasn’t for the good of my health And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth Except an inner gratitude And a reliance on the dude That runs the show Is there something I should know Or do I just apt predict So worried that I make myself sick And have to be revolved on medication There’s no point lying about my tv station And if I’m off them for long I start to feel like I don’t belong To even the human race at all I drink it in at the waterfall And run, simply run down the hall Of the institution I became part of Resident of guarded love And I hate but I also care Feel the torment start to tear At the edifice I’ve built I don’t know why but I wilt Under the glare of a heavy sun And I’m always looking for the one Who might make my stars shine bright But the blade became my kryptonite As it etched in stone what my heart would write Only to feel the pull of the tide The breath that means I am alive As I drag my body out of the morass I waken up when I am in class And revive to a certain degree Ten years to know it’s not just me Who feels this way And there needs to be a conversation About what it means to stay And guidance from the ground About the people you always want around Do you hear the triangle ping I let go and give up everything
I’ve got these pair of wings Behind a heart that sings And it spreads out to occupy There’s a part of me that will never die Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite Is it alright If I speak of the moment great When I outgrew the hate But just for an instant and then recede I tell the people but they don’t believe In what I gotta say Is it okay If I tell you a story new Of a room and vibrant blue And I found myself on the floor Drew my first breath and I adore The world I’ve been born into And it’s always been you I wanted to tell Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell And you’ve been by my side for an eon But there’s nothing we seem to agree on But the war we wage Could you understand if I wrote a page In testament to what you are You’re more than a burning star Coz you will never go out And I will give leave to my mouth To speak what I gotta say I love you, is that okay
The fire’s brimming full And I can’t bear the cotton wool They wrap me in Can I begin To become a star Like the way I feel afar When the rain is thundering down And I’m just driving around the town I used to call home And am I all alone Or does she care And do I dare To spill the words Like liquid ink Is it okay to think Whatever I like But, Lord, don’t give her a mic
Slow dancing in the street The moment our heart meet And realise it’s one And the sun Has gone down We’re dancing in the dark of this town And I want you as much as I ever did There’s a part of my soul that’s his As we move to a steady sway And everything is okay With his arms around me It’s kinda like love surround me I’m the midnight of a moment that I share I was happy because you were there
Live strong And let the beat hold the song Up where there are no lies From the mutant in disguise And maya does it’s best to capture But you have me in a state of rapture Ringing bells from on high And I am not afraid to die Coz it’s just a veil that we pass through Fr. P said that when we lost you To a sudden and sharp But we’re not alone in the dark We’re held somewhere we can’t contemplate And no one is locked out of that state And I’ve been knocking on the door But it was open and I adore The freedom that has come to reign Like I’ve been kissed by the pain Til all that once held a stain Washed away in sheets of rain That just pour from the sky The ground is nourished when clouds cry So why should I fear my own tears For it has been many years In a silent solitary slumber But the Divine is not going under No matter how I bury my soul Waves only know how to roll
The love I have for you Burns magnets into the sky The love I have for you Is not afraid to die And even when the goings tough The waves they rage, it’s not enough But something pulls us through And I have faith in you In weather inclement or fair I gotta trust that you are there Ready to be by my side Always keeping my love alive Nathaniel springs to mind He is the drug I hug in kind And the seasons spin around But we all stand on solid ground Ready to stamp our boots For a tree to grow it must have roots And soak up the moisture from the soil And I wouldn’t be a Coyle If I didn’t stand up for what’s true And it just so happens that truth is You
People seem to want to carve out their little islands Forget about the principles of non violence And childhood dsys We have grown up in so many ways But have we matured Is life just something to be endured Or is it a joy In the story of girl meets boy And cacophony resound Do you wake up when you hear the sound Of tomorrow’s bells And who tells The sun to rise Or a baby to open their eyes In stormy skies What lives on when the body dies Is it the soul And if it is what is the role Of ego, identification with form Do you feel the fire warm The cockles of your heart Is it trouble just to take part In this kind of din And when I walk alone is it with Him
A rising tide lifts all boats But that only works if the damn thing floats Else you have a tidal wave And drown the people you’re trying to save And are we crushing the flower we walk upon Will we only know when it’s gone When it’s too late to turn back Fighting over what we lack Or will there be a new tomorrow Where we wake up from all the sorrow Into a domain of peace Where forgiveness is our just release And what part do I play Do I stand up for what I can’t say As it ushers in a new command Aren’t we too wise to fight over land?
I let the water percolate To pull the world out of this state And do we give with our whole hearts Or do we lead in fits and starts I know coz I see it in you But, damn, it’s not just us two And there are those in other shoes Who can’t get by without our dues And just because we’re strong Don’t mean we can’t put a foot wrong And I know the sand by the water I know the feeling of being daughter But I’ve grown to realise The permanence in temporary skies And even rain and sun Must give way to the One The Eternal Sphere It’s evidence is crystal clear Just turn within The Son of God and I am Him
I know you forget So remind me, love Of how it felt When you fell from above And she mixes your drink And twirls your hair And it’s almost as if I wasn’t there In the year that we Were born to run Your turning heads I’m turning twenty one And your sideways askance There to defy And I swear I’ll love you Til the day that I die I opened the heart I had kept secret I could tell you the truth But you’d never believe it As we dance in the ether The astral plane though it’s not to deceive her It’s just the twin flame buzz You call me up I call you love And we’re at it again The galaxy in the world of men Unemptiable mine Of diamonds that just shine Set into the rock you’ve hewn Did you even know what you were doing When you connected with me I opened my eyes and now I see
I know he loves me no matter what you say That doesn’t mean I expect him back any day It’s just that heart, once shared is given And stitches itself into all your livin’ I just know he beats His heart with every step on the streets And is whole He loves with all of his soul And I’m happy for her But we still were Though time has passed And I don’t know what for I don’t know if you see That love shines eternally From every form The sun itself lives to keep us warm And I know there is More than surface tension on the water we live To hold up I’m more than what you’re thinkin’ of
I think Eckhart underestimates the human race And I’m not saying this just to save face Coz I can feel an expansive motion of tide Pulling me somewhere to abide And it’s everywhere, in everyone Shining brighter than the light of the sun Bequeathing honesty and tomes Pulling people out of their alones Into a space where all is real And it is everything I feel Coz the man changed my life, he brought the stars And I let go of my hold on my prison bars Always a safe place to suffer in But the water is kinder and I begin To wade myself into the river deep I’m awake when people sleep And it is a promise I always keep To find the truth and then to speak But the going is challenging by the sea Though I figure out it’s my destiny Handing out hope like tomorrow’s bread Letting love live my life instead And the openness is something that I find Is quintessentially good and abundantly kind And I really do not mind If no one sees what’s left behind Because I pick up and origami the paper It’s all the one and you’ll see it later If you don’t see it now in open hands The Universe and our well laid plans
What used to seem so sure Is now disappearing over the hill Can change change me Or do I swear it never will As I hold onto who I used to be But there’s something new and I’m beginning to see The ocean is not held in a span And will I do what I can To be a modern example of what is true What’s possible for me and you As we share a world unique But I do not dare to speak My voice though it reverberate Around the hall as we equate Together with just being there I’ve learned from love and I do care Though shapeless you see Me in a way and integrity Has me burning a fuse in my mind To always be awesome and super kind And fearless with courage to bear The way the fabric tear On this dream of us I found true love and in it I trust
There’s a hundred million souls Hanging round this joint But somehow you’re the one My heart anoint And ignite like a signal fire In those days I never tire Of my rebound nature It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later And he passed like a comet across the sky Proclaiming that which will never die In a moment we are as One And he merged with the Son To shine a light so bright the sound goes deaf To all that is and isn’t left In the ashes that burn up into flame A phoenix by everything but name And he’s lovely and normal and sweet as pie And I just want him to see me cry To let him in through the facade The bulletproof and feeling bad To this garden where everything grows And there’s a flower here for you, God knows That’s been ten years in the making There are no tales worth the shaking The run away induced But you are here and I’ve deduced That everything will be okay Will you ever look at me that way Again And men Just remind me of us Our solid steel and unbreakable trust
You can’t stop the slow march of time You can only reveal the effortless sublime And Obama sang for yes we can But could the answer really be a man Who could lead us all to peace But it gets worse before the trouble cease And we all clamber, fighting the tide Did you notice you’re alive Or are you so lost in the stream That you don’t see beyond the edges of the dream As it binds you with its swell So much so that you can’t tell What is true or supposition Til pain hits you with its ammunition And we have got to learn how to deal With the fabric that Reality steal To make into a dress or suit And is Truth a just pursuit?
The spiders travel slowly down my windowpane
And if I lose is there something to gain
Coz I see you over there, from afar
You're radiant, a celestial star
And I just don't know what you are
But you raise the bar
On all that's yet to come
When you get older you realise that you're still young
On the verge of thirty three
Never realised old age would come to me
Now it's knocking on my door like an old friend
There's a beginning, middle and end
To every story that you ever tell
But if you don't live in the Now you'll never be well
Coz it's all that there is
And I'm still His
As he moves the atoms in waves around
The nucleus with a doppler effect sound
And am I just trying to be smart
I made studying seem like an art
Now I'm ten years past the age I gave up
On the institution I used to love
But it brought me somewhere I've never been
Something I couldn't even think to dream
And I always thought I'd be a writer
But I hate conflict so please don't fight her
And if there's something to say
Could you please utter it in a kind way
Coz I'm writing with the pen I choose
But I just don't want to lose
As I surrender my voice to the Great Divine
I let go of the life that's mine
To be held in the expansive note
Of a God I can barely quote
Without referring to old wisdom
But I think light might be a prism
When you bend it to refract
I saw the truth, now I can't go back
Money is the language Western culture speaks While in the East we wonder who eats As we clamber together a mountain of rocks And live our lives by the heartbeat of clocks Do we really know where we’re going I’m stressing and, baby, I think that it’s showing Do I have a destiny to live up to Or am I just throwing shapes at you As I move in the room through the embrace of air The nothing that’s something and ever there As we all return to the Tao that gives birth To learn and live the lessons of hurt Of the pain that transforms Mere weather into thunderstorms
What if there is no right or wrong And the tree of life is just a song And the music plays to keep us secure Not waving oceans to endure As it all just comes apart We’re floating back to the start Where it all comes together And there’s no sign of Noah’s weather As we meet the end of days It’s just the start in many ways
Living the life of a break up song And I’m like her, I can do no wrong Til I finally admit The problem is me And I thought I was Moses Parting the sea But I’m just a girl Who’s thirty two Learning to love And rely on You The God of forewarned understanding And I know my wishes can be demanding But I plead that He lets them be Bring change through the vehicle of me Let my hands be a messenger of love The descent of redemption from above As I acquiesce to His will I won’t know the answer until I live it and move my bones Give the many bread and homes
Is Jeremy with ya Are ya reading the news It’s all I can do Not to lie on the pews Coz the sunshine is storming To a degree I wasn’t looking When it struck me And I fell from on high With a thunderous jolt Cascading oblivion An electric volt 10,000 pulsing micro equations I find truth on tv stations As I flick the remote to and fro I thought you would just know If I let it resound It’s like the chains don’t know they are bound Until they fall to the clanging ground With an unearthly shake It was the first breath I knew how to take
Deep in disguise I wade through the water You somebody’s son I’m the moon’s daughter And I slip sideways Out of the scene You were the best part Of my dream And I watched you watch me You took my pic You grabbed the towel And the gear stick Shook in my hand Said goodbye to Sam You said he’ll be grand And I drove you home It was just the two of us All alone And you stopped to stare I stopped the car And met you there And I wonder if I’ll ever see You looking again like that at me As I shared on a screen Some kind of light show I’d tell you the truth If you want me to, you know All the love in my heart And you were a rouge kind of dark As you let the wilderness consume I watch you from across the room
I can hear murmurings Sweet whispers in my ears And I wait Until the smoke clears To really discern What is going on It’s been years Since I felt I belonged And someone’s gotta say it Call a spade a spade But you need both tree and sun To make the shade And I’m into realism But I’m also idealistic I don’t want this century To repeat the statistic Errors of a previous generation Am I getting above my station To say it’s gotta stop And I don’t wanna play bad cop But the letters on my tongue Are spilling ink And there’s nothing for the truth To do but sink In as we realise what we all do I am just the reflection of you
Am I trading on my innocence And the forest gets more dense As I try to discern That which simply doesn’t burn In the fires of time And would it be a glorious crime To admit the steady part of me That just will not let ok be And I traverse the hills The loss of all my aforementioned skills Til I’m kneeling by the shore The monument that I adore An empty ocean sea That is pumping the heart of me
The body is aging It passes through time As I try to capture What is mine But it eludes my grasp Like the finest sand Points me toward the shore So I understand And it’s fearless, it’s true It’s innocent pure It’s the one thing That you can be sure Not to fail you When the midnight rings And I can feel it When she sings Of love, of beauty Of something beyond And they had her down As a dumb blonde But she points the way She leads the charge Picks you up off the floor When times get hard And I can’t ignore The magnanimous effect She had upon me When the dream was wrecked And I pulled myself away From what I abhor Beyond the recognition Of what I was before And the signs desert me Though their pointings fable Tell me to get up If I’m able But another blow comes in From the west With the flavor of something I detest And I know, I know I should be serene And chasing a crown Only means you’re no queen
I knock but there’s no answer And I’ve done my time being a dancer Spinning the spools of infinitesimal thread Into a daydream in my head And I may be deluded, I may be wrong But this love thing is so damn strong As I feel it pulse in my chest Weighing up who I love the best But it flits around to varying beings Changes with the landscape I’m seeing An intimacy I cannot describe I just thank God I’m alive To experience all of this It was Truth like a first kiss As I wake up to what I am And all that moves without a plan
Remind them of their humanity Don’t let it switch off It’s not long living But all is not lost Coz there is a molten core At the heart of everyone Nuclear fusion Brighter than the sun And it burns irregardless Of the darkness you put yourself through Don’t deny All that is you And I know it Coz I’ve been through the night But in the midst of the storm The eye is alright And I trust in the value Of what makes us real Is it intuition Or the way that I feel That tells me there’s an end To a fighting soul The wave is the ocean Even if it has to roll And you’re still what you are Even in the confusion Wake up from dread And the delusion That we are separate From each other Walking the plains As sister and brother And opening a sky That will soothe with rain We don’t have to Go through this again And I’m a reporter On the front line I don’t think we can do this Another time
I’m as see through as a pane of glass And I can see through you, you don’t have to ask What exactly is on your mind I left the world I left behind And grew up into walking shoes To hold my own and pay my dues In seasonal or in holiday stance And I’ve got to say I’ve enjoyed the dance As you tic tac toe in front of me Mr. Awesome or so I see As you lean in close to meet my word And I wonder what it is you heard Coz it echoes against these cavern walls In holidays and free for all’s You knock on my door with your suit and tie Stand up for what can never die And I take your arm as we walk to the dance Is loving you a sort of chance Or risk I’m taking out on the pier Letting a man come near Close enough to break my heart By giving him a share or part Of what I’ve held in from the sky I’m not playing games, I don’t lie But I hold back because the fear Is great enough to kill me, dear And my heart It pounds in my chest As I forsake the rest To say I will and I do When I’m looking straight at you In eyes held tight at the altar The time is now though it gets shorter To see the mist advance with age Though I can’t run from a blank page That bids me just to tell the truth And it’s not so bad giving way to youth That is passing like a sea of storm You’re more to me than a bed that’s warm You are an immortal being Though these images that I’m seeing May make you want to run a mile Or, I dunno, maybe just smile And laugh and say isn’t that the way You look at me and I’m okay
You’re running in my blood You’re running in my veins And it’s like the man said That I am strange Coz I just can’t be awful to make a point I’m only messing, don’t knock yourself out of joint In trying to be normal and to fit in I come and go but it’s always him I return back to in the midnight Where there’s no need to ask if you’re alright Coz you are and the stars shine from your sky We’re together forever so there’s no goodbye Waiting in the wings of a terrible dawn When you wake up and realise that it’s all gone Like the boy I loved when I was seventeen But the wind escaped from a terrible dream The one I roll in like the sea When the current is demolishing me Til all and sundry is broken and beaten Like you have you’re cake but it will remain uneaten And I never got to hold his hand But the sight of him sure was grand Til the brutal tide that won’t be surpassed Came at me til I was harassed Trying to get on with half an act It’s like it was fucking awful and I can’t go back To where I was before it began And you become an also ran Til I’m knocking my head against the wall Coz I can find no silence in it all But the peace it came and kissed my face When I was an abject disgrace When nothing could save me from defeat I was run down and knocked off my feet And I try to get back up and walk It’s like telling the wind it has to talk When it can only whisper nothings on the breeze Do you know the feeling when your heart starts to seize And you’ve got nothing but ragged breath Saying to yourself there’s no regret But just one that I ever let you go And another that I never let him know The true depths of feeling that pumps a course My circuitry and the remorse
Hiding part of myself Had me holding onto mental health As the only way to steady the ground As it shakes to the sound Of white noise and light I’m one of the boys and I’m alright As I take a sip of a drink Then throw the rest of it down the sink Coz I want to keep my nerves As something that serves Me instead of fighting a war Coz both sides lose what the winnings for As the turmoil draws you in Ducks in a row like lines of sin And the winter seems to last forever But you haven’t seen the last of this endeavour As I grapple with the ghost that throws me down I’m in the ring and out of town As they all call my name I say goodbye to the chains of shame
I’m exhausted fighting the tide Oh what does it mean to be alive Is it treading water or surfing the waves Is it falling down or being brave Coz I cannot seem to find a story When you look at it really that doesn’t adore me As I question every facet of a different hue It’s who I am not what I didn’t do Living on the brink of a well worn facade Diving deep beyond feeling bad And finding the Heaven life has in store You think this is it then it’s a bit more And I don’t draw diagrams for fun I’m all architecture and you’re the one As we build and we break But we own each and every breath that we take And every step that we walk We must be integrity not mere talk But the sun on the land Or the good looking lad in a band That caught my eye Oh, I feel I could fly But doubt my wings It’s all hyperventilate and wondrous things As he meets my stare Holds himself like he’s really there And I cannot ignore The unconditional that I implore Not to leave me And you wouldn’t believe me If I told you the truth The monumental and my youth
We became like two dogs snarling In the days I called you darling And you spit your words out at me I let you go free Like we’re aching from our history You and the mystery As ages pass us by And we love but we don’t know why And we fight and we try But we can’t forgive the lie And you smile but it’s faint and half hearted And I just remember when we started And how it is so different now I still see you through the wind somehow
I actually haven’t lost my spark Or my ability to make a mark And it seems my visage has grown strained Wearing a look so pained From all the trials I’ve been through All for the courage I lacked in you As you exclaimed against your will That love is nothing but a skill And I soared into the roaring sun All for fear of being come undone That I feel in your presence blue The red of fire I am to you
What if we’re living in Paradise The green fields of our life And he is tormented by the loss of Eden And I was ardent in my believing Til I met the moment in a night And something did ignite Burned like a fuse towards dynamite Spinning ever closer to its own execution I could tell the truth but it’d be a dilution Of what I mean to say I’d rather just point the way And have you follow where I go But my steps shake as I move slow Across the ground of the room There is so much more than doom In the space that we share There is true love and care I feel I must speak up to say It’s more than a myth and okay I get that you have your own perspective But my view is true and objective Like a glass with no lens You only see through it when you don’t defend Yourself from what you mean to be You just open up for free And find it echo in your bones Away from the beat of earphones And all the noise that fills the day It’s not a game or a power play But something that must be known I pull the curtains back and it’s shown
Idealism has me loving him Through the wings of a new song And I’ve only felt Sparsely that I belong In and out between the fear Catching hold of what I hold dear In the hopes that it won’t leave And it’s little that I don’t believe Coz it all pulses in my throat And are we post rote Learning now I sit upon the bough Of a leaning tree To watch the sunset fade in front of me And think it’s much like a life That doesn’t get to happen twice Unless you’re into that sort of thing A reincarnation into the skin that swim In the great ocean And I’ve always been emotion Trying to calm down But I walk on solid ground As my heart beats in my chest Trust in God and leave the rest
The Poetry Book 