Tag: awareness

A Starship Far Away

.Reading time 1 minute.
Somehow there is a starship far away
And it is hidden in every day
In the midst of meals and courses
In the midst of screaming fights, divorces
And I call that love, it’s a futile road
To ever carry that heavy load 
They call life
And every wife
Knows the weight
Of hiding in her husbands hate
As he trudges through the snow
Pretending he is in the know
And I’m taking apart an institution
Because it is in my constitution
And I always wanted to be a newly wed
So I could share somebody’s bed
But that dream has faded 
And I’m jaded
At thirty three
Like I swore I’d never be
I’d follow every dream to its resolution
But now it seems the only solution
Is to let it go
And rest and know
That every cloud has its silver lining 
And I’m one who is undefining 
What it means to be woman and grown
I plunge into the unknown 
And come out smelling of roses
I didn’t realise that I chose this 
Over a life of steady familiarity 
Rooted in the ground like a deep tree
So steady in its being 
But there’s something else I’m seeing 
In the mists of time 
It’s you and I and we are fine 
Just as we are 
Behind every black hole is a hidden star 

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The Darkest Shame

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The darkest shame is that I followed the clues 
That I thought would lead me to you 
And there were blue chalked streets and bears 
They say the fabric of my sanity tears
When I believe in secret tomes
And become one who roams 
The avenues of misty eyed tears
As the date nears 
And I cannot bear the truth
So I pulverise my own youth
By putting myself in their hands
Now after slipping sands 
Have run the hourglass down
I still feel like I want to drown 
Some where in all this emotion
It’s as though the road is an ocean 
I cannot climb into 
And it becomes a sprint to
The door
And I couldn’t have loved them more 
But somehow I feel the wilderness in my bones
And I refuse to answer my two phones 
When they call out to me
And I could’ve missed our history
In the avenue I let bleed
Because I know you need
Who I used to be
But its just that they have destroyed me 
In their attempts to keep the dark away
I just lay in the bay 
And it was not San Francisco 
Or some kind of cool fuckin’ disco 
It was like being drawn on a string 
So he could live on everything 
He ever thought he was 
And I take the hit because
I want him to be sky high
And not afraid to die 
A death on the floor 
I just want to prove I love him more 

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Someday In The Stars

.Reading time 1 minute.
Jack and me someday in the stars
Belting out music as we’re chasing cars
And I followed him down an avenue
I just wonder what he’s going ta do
As he flashes that smile at me
And I know it will be a while til I see
What he’s got going on under the hood
He seems kinda bad but I know he is good
As he offers his hands to me at will
Then moved my own with dexterous skill
Until the both are intertwined
And I hardly know what’s his or what’s mine
And the autumn fades the colours of leaves
And he’s all mysterious or would you believe 
As he waits at the step of the door that I love
I think I’ve been gifted from God above
With the beauty of this connection
Are we a constellation in the northern direction 
To take note of what we leave behind
And I wonder if I am out of mind
To go on hearing your voice in my soul
What are the waves to do but roll

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The Irrepressible Nature Of Our Friendship

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The irrepressible nature of our friendship 
It keeps on coming back
It’s not about all the towers we’ve built 
Or the modicum we lack
Coz I see the stars in shapes and places
See it reverberate on faces
As everything comes shining down 
I’m just up the road now you live in town
And we’re far away
Though we used to play
Together at the edge of fields
Now summertime’s the way it yields
To the storm on the western front
It’s not just the season or the time of the month
It’s in clouds that gather a while
And I risk the thunder to see you smile
An eon away
And I’m glad you stay
Though it terrified me to contemplate
The idea of you in that state
It’s in all my nightmares
And it’s me that it scares
When I wake up in the morning
I look outside and the sky is storming
Would you ever believe
In me carrying less than it all on my sleeve
And you sigh
And say your own kind of goodbye
And I try
To make you see the sun
That shines at the heart of everyone
You disagree
And most of all what you say to me
Has me running like silver thread
Pooled like a mothball in my head
Oh, the mountain of you
Do you think it could be in sight of us two
Where we see the horizon
Smiling now that we’ve got our eyes on
It’s effervescent glow
There is little that I show
But one thing that is there for sure
I’ve never found anything so pure
As you and I
Please don’t die
Til our time, love
I hug you coz you were sent from above 
Like a steady angel to my side
You breathe in and I abide
In the place I’ve almost been
The realm of the unseen
The place no hand can touch
Is where I love you, oh, so much

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Indoctrination Vibrations

.Reading time 1 minute.
The closeted feminist
But now can I resist
All the chains they put on me
Say I must believe if I wanna be free
Coz I don’t take sides
And love just abides
And lush is the grass of verdant green
And what is carried out in the name of the queen
As she sits on her throne
I’m just myself when I’m on my own
With no moniker
And I don’t wanna be her
Of stand alone pride
I trust in the rush of being alive
Do you see what I paint
At the sight of blood I get faint
And I waver every time I see
Proof of what I don’t feel is me
Can you just let go
I’m not what you say I am, you know
And how we’ve been trained
But your conditioning is in vain
As I collect
All the things you say are wrecked
Do you get what I mean
Is this life but a dream
Coz you can’t rely
On everything that is destined to die
And I
Stand up just to let go
Pull the needle through on the bed I sew
Til it’s all but done
I don’t think I am the only one
To feel the heady weight of foolish glee
You can stay on time, but it wouldn’t be me

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My Time As A Drifter

.Reading time 1 minute.
My time as a drifter 
And the time he wanted to shift her 
In Hillstreet in the dark 
And I lost a part
Of myself when I agreed 
To the part of me that it freed
In the lines in between 
It was the worst part of the dream 
I had just been set free from the blocks
And I was all about breaking locks 
And seeing how far I could take it 
But I didn’t mean to wake it
Up from where it lay
And it is not okay 
That when the dragon breathes fire
You blame me for the post that I conspire
To burn in my flame 
I am not within my name 
I am barely brimming at the edges 
And I can see over the hedges 
As the man trims them with his machine 
And I am who I’ve always been 
But that seems to do me no good
If I can only find salvation in the wood
And when I’m on my own 
If I could’ve I would’ve known 
Twenty years ago 
But it took time for the life to show 
Through the facade of the veil 
And I set sail 
On a foreign sea 
To find the part of me 
That I lost in the melee
Do you think you could just be a friend to me? 

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The Saint

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The saint was born the day that I died
Like Gandalf the Grey becoming the White 
And there was no absorbing light 
Only a peaceful flame 
That does not go by any name 
You could call it earthy awareness 
And I could guess
What you mean by that 
But it gives you something it can’t take back
And when the dream is rendered moot
No one can play the flute
Not with you, not anymore
And they think I close the door
But the reality is I am pulled away
From the places I cannot stay
There is distance in between 
Me and her and her and what they seem
To be 
But free
Does not mean foolish or prude
I’m sorry if I appear a little rude
But I’ve got to speak my mind
When I don’t I do hard time 
At the institution they call St. Pat’s 
And there are welcome mats 
With my name written on 
They don’t realise I’m already gone 
As who I used to stand as 
And it’s nothing bad
But it is unusual and unexpected 
And it’s not as thought I would have rejected
Him without good reason
His love is a season
In the infinity of space time 
For a moment he was mine
And then we were separated 
Like the schools where we were educated 
In to make good people of us
With rulers and lines and teachers we could trust 
Some at least 
And I wonder if the last supper is a feast
Like it’s portrayed
And if Judas was dismayed
To be singled out like that 
And I wonder what was he at
To betray a saviour true
Til I had it done to me too 
By a girl I used to know 
She cracked the whip so I let her go 
And I don’t know if time is fast or slow
All I’ve realised is that it doesn’t exist though

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At The Bottom Of The Ocean

.Reading time 2 minutes.

***Trigger Warning – Mental Health Content***


There was that time I was at the bottom of the ocean
The weight of the sky held all my emotion 
And it was burden to me
Until the day I was set free
Like some kind of ennui to fly
But some part of me wanted to die 
It held me like a vicegrips 
I let go and something slips
Into the abyss 
Is it that I miss 
The point of modern existence
So much so that my reference is met with resistance
To what it is 
And I will never be his 
Not now, not anymore
Not since he closed that door 
The one I had opened to let him in 
But the grave is solemn as our sin
As we barely make it through
There were days I screamed at you
And my family bled me dry 
For the crime of wanting to try
To climb to the sky
And sometimes I wonder why 
They condemned me to an education 
In their version of the situation 
Where I am the betrayer of the light 
The one they crack my knuckles with at night 
In tune with the rhythm 
Of their own great schism 
The one that pulls
There is a pain that never dulls
Not sharp and quick 
But one you live with and it’s a bitch 
Much more so than the submerge
And I am on the verge
Of letting go 
And opening to the place I can’t know 
The deep and vast spaciousness pure
If only I could know for sure
What it was 
Like I did before I learned their laws 





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The Apparent Solidity
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The apparent solidity of matter is an illusion
And there seems to be some confusion 
Over what it means 
When sages says that its just one of those dreams
That seems to linger
And the finger
Pointing to the moon
Cannot come to soon
But do not mistake 
It for a freedom you cannot fake 
You know when you’ve been deceived
It happens when there’s something you believed 
Rather than known 
And the flowers grown 
And in full bloom 
Can fragrance a room 
So it is with you
I’m telling you coz you want me to 
Deep in your heart
There is something no one can tear apart
Not with knives and scissors 
Not with hacksaws and chisels
It lives in a domain
Beyond the realm of pain
And the Bible speaks of the Valley
In the Shadow of Death and any
One who disputes
That it encroaches on the resolute 
Must be wrong 
Because when I was strong
I felt it multiply
I was so afraid to die 
But when the midnight came
I was simply not the same 
And surrendered the ghost
To the Light I love the most 
It is my Jesus true 
And He asked me to share Him with you 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Age Of Fear
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The age of fear when dragons rule the roost
And I like a button to give my ego a boost
And people click on things that resonate
The algorithm on your dinner plate
And there are people in Africa who find the ore
And the metals that make you want more
Does Apple pay them their due
I’m not trying to slander, I just wonder, do you
As in the Congo, the war rages
And we flick the screen like flipping pages
On a story we don’t want to hear
But I feel every single tear
You could call it empathy or a burden
But how do people know that you’ve heard them
If there’s no one there
And the forest does care
About every single tree
Because each one makes up the map of me
And we are all brothers and sisters
The fire burns and the skin blisters
On friends and foes
It’s wild country and anything goes
Because they have the power
And the tower
Fell from on high
I watched the people die 
Screaming or in silent registration 
No one could change that TV station
Because it played on the airwaves
As firemen saved
All they could 
And it’s written in blood
But I try to flood the plain
Because I don’t want that to happen again
But an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind
Is there hope for humankind? 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Winter I Endured
		

		
.Reading time 3 minutes.

		

			

The winter I endured
Was far from pure
The snow was tinged with scattered blood
And it was anything but good 
As the forest turned to trees with eyes
Out to get me in my disguise
And they may say agenda
But I would always defend ya
From the forces that come to pass
I sat in the young adults group before I hit twenty four
They’d get you to talk behind a closed door
Like it was some kind of club
While you’re dosed up on some drug 
And I remember a boy who slurred his speech
Is this the lesson that they teach
To all of us
That the broken trust
Will lead us to the promised land
But their broken promises are all sand 
As they try to dampen your spirit
I’ll say it loud so that everyone will hear it
And Teresa in the bed across
Was shocked half to death by a girl boss
And told it would heal her depression
But here is my confession 
That, though I shook and though I wake
I did it all for her sake 
Shouted to the dragon in her bed
Said, follow me instead
Coz I can carry the weight
And she cannot stand the hate
And I sat by Shauna’s side
If this was the only reason I’d abide
In that place for a thousand years 
I grabbed a bucket to catch their tears
And I would face all of their fears
With them so they wouldn’t be alone
Now friends are clicking on a phone
And I watch them search
For a place to land that doesn’t hurt 
And they say social media is hell
And I’ve certainly lived to tell 
The scéal 
And the tale 
Is long and well worn 
But I am certainly not forlorn
When they put me on the “done”
I’d rather take a hash brownie or scone 
Because what they prescribed
Only ever made me feel less alive
It’d be enough to drive a man to drink
Or a woman to overthink 
The things she does by instinct 
But God cleared up the flood
And I taste and see that the Lord is good
And he will redeem
The shackles that just fell from the queen 
And the Son of Man was crucified 
Just so that the Pharisees could abide
In their positions of power 
But everyone who claims to tower
Over another will be brought low
You’re looking down so I thought I should let you know 

					

	




					
						


					
						


					
						


		

		

			
Pinprick
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

She makes a pinprick to draw blood
Just to see if she could
To see if I’m still real
If I’m alive, if I feel
And it’ll heal
But I remember the shark in her eyes
When she met me that day in the car
So far away from where you are
Looking at your ship go out
Before I was submerged in my own self doubt
As it washes to shore
And I couldn’t have loved you more
But it wasn’t enough
Coz when times got tough
All the pencils failed me and broke
And I could feel my breath start to choke
On the words I spit out at you
Coz you don’t love me too
Or so they say or so she says
Coz she’s familiar with your ways
In real life
I’m just the wife
Who is too close to see
In her eyes that all he wants is me
Submerged in the subterranean wildflower bloom
And I’d know if he was in the room
Coz electricity flows from his pulse
I describe it and she revulse 
At the thought he could shock me awake
I gave it up for your sake 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Shores I See
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

I used to trust in them
As the deliverer
They visited shores of my people
And together with the diaspora 
Worked for peace on the island
No to terrorism
And no to state sponsored violence
A table
Where the people gathered around
To talk
And to fight
Over differences
Points of view
Collective wounds
I was only eight
When they agreed
We will hold it together
It’s been twenty five years
And somehow the faith still keeps
Enough to bridge the gap
Now my eyes are drawn to the map
Of hostile states
Independent actors
And hate 
But the mighty take sides 
Where is their peace agreement
And how can they broker calm
If they are the ones ringing the alarm
I call for everyone
Everyone, everywhere
To say
I see you
To not flinch or turn away
When the burning gets too strong
Or when you’re pulled by where you belong 
There is peace
Just beyond the field that you can see
I know because it was there for me
When I sank in despair
Amid my own cries of “it’s not fair”
And it may not be
But there’s still a God who see
Everything that you do
And the crimes you commit visit you
In the dark of a subterranean night
How do you tell your children it will be alright
While you starve the 40%
And I was not sent
Here to stand by
The millions, the millions that will die
If we do nothing now
I’ve got to claim something, somehow 
And if it will end then let me know
Coz from where I stand it is blow for blow
As we hit the decks
Will we only wake up when the world is wrecked 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Her Complicity
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			










She was there when you weren’t
I had to get by
On crutches 
So I wouldn’t die
And the battering winds 
Shook the shutters 
Wooden and thin
Til I stumbled upon the dream of him
Somewhere on a reading scene 
It was like something woke the dream
Up from where it was in bed 
I found myself instead
And I had a flame so red 
Looking into my eyes 
But I couldn’t hide the disguise 
That just erupted 
Have I fucked it up
Coz I know I still think of you
And his trail of blue 
How do I decide 
Which one I choose to tell lies 
Like I could be bound in matrimony 
But it just starts to feel a little phoney 
Coz I could never be tied by a ring
That follows me round like a golden string

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Infinite Gravity
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			

A star collapsing in on itself 
The absence of light and what it all meant
As a black hole is created
Try as you might you can’t escape it
But does it wash out somewhere else
A wormhole into a dimension of self 
That cannot be contemplated 
They say that I’ve been educated
By my years
But the tears
Burn into me
An inferno that’s been set free
Into everlasting space
A love that breaks upon this place

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Light Of Consciousness
		

		
.Reading time 4 minutes.

		

			





The light of consciousness is like a ray from the sun
It shot me through like a loaded gun
And I was fourteen and lost in a mess
Loaded down with heavy distress
When suddenly the exit to maze
I looked up and the girl was saved 
From a fate worse than death - to live her life 
As a student, a worker, a mother, a wife
I couldn’t grow up, I was like Peter Pan
“Please don’t let me become a man”
Coz I saw what they do on the daily
Look death in the face and smile so gaily
With reasons why it was just so
They were old, they had to let go
But I stared at the body in the coffin
And knew that I was not for crossin’ 
I prayed to God that he make me anew 
And not let the tree be cut in two
So I splintered and fragmented but held strong
I am not doing anything wrong
Anxiety, depression, all kinds of tests
But my inner being is at rest
And she found a chink in my armour
And I don’t mean to alarm her 
But the thread she wound spun me in spools
Til I was sweating buckets in school
Walk into the classroom; “what will they think”
I’m clean and I’m quiet and I don’t even drink
And Elaine is so nice and Lisa too
Doireann and Kelly and my eyelashes are blue
As I try to explain, I try to convey 
Exactly what happened to me that day
A smile was born as I crumpled to the floor
Letting go of the pain and something to adore
It was all lights out as the faint took hold
And when I woke up the ceiling was gold
And Mrs. Earley is kneeling over my form
How do I tell her that I was just born
They give me tea with sugar to pump up my blood
But something just walked out of the wood 
Into the sun of the God of all time
How could I not have known the wealth that is mine 
As it spread like a banquet over the table
Telling cripples to get up and walk now they’re able 
And this message was hidden, this message submerge
But now that the ocean is on the verge
Of washing away, now the time has come
For the ice age to be undone 
And walk all the souls back to their home 
Death is not the end and you are never alone
As Nirvana grips me by the tongue
Break identification with what was young
Coz you will never grow old though the body may fade
You’ll always be vital as the words on this page
In your spirit, in your core and not by degree
Now awakening is rippling out from me
To touch every soul that ever takes birth
You were not born to live within the confines of hurt
You were not born to stoop, you were not born to cower
Wake up and realise your inherent power
As you breathe
You don’t need
The next breath to come
Each one is whole from the old to the young
And those stars in your eyes are like atoms spinning
Don’t doubt your worth when you’re bi-winning
I rub my eyes with my sleeve
Think of the fallen valley I used to believe
Was the whole story
Now the vibration is enough to floor me
Back to the day I was dancing a reel
You’re not what you think and what you feel
Is as passing as diamonds on the surface of the sea
Though sparkling, they just reflect the true civility 
Of a sun that never sets because you don’t spin 
On the axis of something I didn’t begin

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Youth And It’s Evasion
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

I feel the age of youth slip away
You know the one when every day
Is the break of sunrise
And you’re inoculated from the lies
But the burden crushed the butterfly
Crouched in a corner and the fever die
Creeps in on me, I was fourteen 
And the scene 
Threatened to overwhelm 
The captain at the helm
Of this great ship I own
Now the game is thrown 
Fast forward to twenty three
And everything has deserted to me
In search of a grip on the ledge
But there’s just a neighbour looking over the hedge
Wondering if I’ll let go
The sweat is pumping and you know
There’s only so long I can hang on 
My fingers fail and doing wrong
Falls into the dark
I know I said it don’t leave a mark
But it do
I struggle to get over you
Now ten years later, I’m a thirties blue
And I must give time it’s due
It soothes the welts with healing balm
Replaces death with unearthly calm
That seems to settle in my bones
You are never alone 
And iPhones
Only serve to annunciate
A deeper connection in another state
We have yet to learn
I trust in fate and it burn

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Glasses And The Lens
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			





The control and the weariness 
As I trek down the path they mark
But I think they’re stumbling in the dark
Trying to cut a swathe 
I was a person the darkness saved 
From being a rote learned bitch
It saw me open and made the switch
Now I’m the nothingness expanse
The emptiness when it starts to dance 
And there is no way to compare
What was to what isn’t there 
And Mooji says we’re cool
And I graduated from school
With the best I could 
I swore I would leave that wood 
Behind with my peace of mind 
As Tru spoke to me and I took it to heart
There was a life which depart
And I met another pair of eyes
That looked at me with no disguise 
And he is the Heaven and Earth to me
It’s fifteen years and I let him see
That a gravity in his bones 
Walked me right out of my alones 
And she was by my side
I dunno why I thought to hide 
What was real and raw
From the viciousness of an outlaw
Who abides not in time
It’s all I can do to make it rhyme
Zippered in a tent so tight
And I wonder if we’re alright
In the place it hurts
I don’t want to make it worse
But I think you need to hear it from me
I take off my glasses and now I see

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Caves And Close Shaves
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

I’m burning down the house I made in my mind
Leave that old cave behind
The one I used to spit and moan
And mainly just feel all alone
Coz they inoculate shame
And call you by your first name
When they want you to back down
Or go ahead and drown
In the ocean that submerge
Don’t you know it’s just a word
They used to categorise 
You so that you’re something in their eyes
And maybe they steal
But they can’t take what is real
No matter how hard they try
And I know that we all die
But I can’t stay under this roof
Where’s your evidence, where’s your proof
That I was ever anything other
Than a cloud that would smother
You with a hot heat
Thick and heavy as defeat

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Top Of The Rock
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

Am I gonna die if I feel this feeling
Coz I hear a voice screaming in my head
And one day I’m scared I’m gonna wake up dead
Travelling through a vortex through open space 
Why do I keep seeing his face 
And that window in my apartment on floor five
How the hell am I still alive
When all around me has withered 
And the demons veritably slithered 
Down the garden path on the way to Eden
When Eve steps on their heads is it just that she doesn’t see them
And where is Adam in all of this
Is he just lost in his first kiss
With the bride of his dreams 
Is nothing as it may seem
Coz is God the overlord
Or is he simply the spoken Word
That turns Spirit into flesh
Made the sexes and all the rest
All the animals and all the birds
All the potential in the unheard 
And in the night do you hear the call
It was a freefall 
That year I committed myself to you
It’s 2012 and I’m walking through
The doors of my mind back to you then
In all of this did I lose a friend 
Somewhere in the aftermath
And I’m not scared of wrath
By some deity
Telling me that it hates me 
In the world of the hologram 
If there is a plan 
It must be Love
Coz without It what is the above
But a sanctity we fear
I’m running with wolves and near
To the free wind
To love versus to have sinned 
Coz you’re about as bad as they get
But I can bring myself to regret 
Our cataclysm 
Is it time to heal the Great Schism

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Paddy’s Eyes
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

Paddy’s eyes were like stone opals 
And I wonder how he is
Did he get his woman
Did he get his wish
Coz for a while he was mine
And I can see the sparkles shine 
As they encase his face 
Not one hair was out of place 
And he had that devilish grin
And a personality that would win
You over with a smile 
I keep it on file
But the memories fade
And the bodies age 
Do you still have facial hair
And a presence that is just there
And we crossed paths in Spiral Tree
I caught you stare at me
As I wait by the bar
Oh, if I could only know what you are 
Coz you escape definition
And the early edition
Of the Longford Leader
(If you took time to read her)
Announces our notice true
What would my life look like with you
By my side, coz you’re in my heart
I watch the comet turn an arc
And come back to flame
Is it okay I used your name?

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Love The Sun
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The diary of me
Is something you’ll never see
Cos you scribbled on the page
And hit me with your rage
Fed me slowly piece by piece
To the war I cannot make cease
And she strides in with her tide
Tells me I’m alive
And what she would do to make it more so
But I just want her to let it go
Coz it’s brutality 
Though she never see
Exactly what she does to me 
In the name of love
Or at least the kind she’s thinking of 
Obedient to a fault
And I got locked inside the vault
With only T for company
And they expect me to abandon at a flaw
The heat that made the ice thaw
In the winter of my life
I love the sun, I hope that’s alright

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Shout To The Lord
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

They could put me up on a cross
And all would not be lost
They could drive me down the alley
And I would still walk in the valley
Of the shadow of death
And I would not fear yet
For the Lord would be by my side
And I would abide 
As I always am
Moving in space without a plan 
And the heat of the fire is a furnace blast
But something’s healed within the cast
The broken bone 
And the heart of solid stone
Cracks at the sound of the light
I love my Jesus, alright
And would follow that soul, that man, that being
In the waves of ocean that he’s freeing
And all the sheep
Are like people that we keep
Safe from harm
I panicked and he stayed calm
As the water raged
I took a leaf out of his page
When he held out his hand
And said you will be grand
If only you trust
I shake and quake but I must
Go palm to palm
At first the audience and then the psalm
To leave my spirit ringing
Tell me what else should I be singing

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Motionary
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			

Is it that there’s too much to say
Or not enough 
Coz you’ve got to know
I’ve always cared for you, love
And there’s a distance between us
Or a depth we can’t dive
We breathe in the air
Just to survive
And the cogs they turn
In the wheels of our life
It’s like a winter’s morning
With a new bite
In the air 
That you can just taste
Oh, what in the world 
Did you create?

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
A Race I Can’t Pursue
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

Trying to keep up to a race I can’t pursue 
It’s like trying to win the attention of you
And you just turn away, a shoulder to glance
And I am there begging for another chance
To be who I am in your company
But you know we’re just friends, it’s not eternity
And I promised you silver and I promised you gold
Promised together in the growing old
But now it’s as though a chasm has opened
Do you hear me at all or am I just hoping
As I see you though the gaps in my hands
Fingers clasped over eyes that understand 
The motion of trees
That we wouldn’t work, would you believe
In all that turns out to be true
If you rely on the weather, it just changes you
And I can’t cut the grass on the field that you own
Can’t win me over once the game is thrown
Into the midnight and out with the day
I’m kind of conflicted about us, okay?

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Golden Hearse
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The axe chopped down the tree
And, the wood, it was me
As I fell from on high
Hard, for some guy
And he brushes me off
But I sense a depth
I get the feeling
He regrets
Letting us go
But, then again, what do I know
And I used to blaze a trail
Til I found his and without fail
I used to follow, breadcrumb sweet
The pebbles led me to where we meet
But there is no way back
And I didn’t mean to attack
I was just vociferously 
Defending the best of me
As you tried to tear me down
But you didn’t see the crown
On the king
The bird can fly with a broken wing
But it’s stuttered and weak
You kind of leave me speechless and meek
As you gently assume the worst
The best dress to the golden hearse

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Her Own Shore
		

		
.Reading time 5 minutes.

		

			





She’s low in her boots
I can feel the roots
Intertwine with mine
As we both proclaim we’re fine
And try to be what we were
I used to be empty without her
And crave to find her company
Now I just let her be
As she navigates her own shore
Thinking we don’t love each other anymore 
But she’ll always have a place inside my heart
Even though we may be apart
Or unable to communicate in a way that’s true
You’re a mountain to me, darling, do you
Know that, my dear
I wipe the glass so it’s crystal clear
And we drive all over town 
Do you still hear the sound
Of the steady chasm call
I just want you to know, that’s all
That we
Forever be
Eternal and true
I was looking for the One
All the while I had you
And appreciate
When I was in that state
To be guided, steady hand
As you play a rock band
I’m not really into
But it’s important to you
So I listen
Teardrops glisten
As he riffs a guitar
Oh, in the wonder of what you are
I don’t know
The places you go
When you’re tired and alone
I call but you don’t answer the phone
Would you understand
If I said I had planned 
A season or two
Where the autumn leaves fly just for you
As the colours change
Atoms and molecules rearrange
Like they will for us too
A plurality of weaving things through
Don’t go
There’s so much I haven’t said, you know
And there are ages
To pay testament to
The depth that I
Witness in you
You’re a star
And by the bar
You raise it high
I exclaim; I’m not afraid to die
As I shake in my soul
You are the weather that cannot be told 
And a storm
Are a galaxy swirl
You have to be the scene of the girl
As she rides off alone unto the horizon
I would say I called it but it’s still surprising
Would you stay
If I asked you just for me, okay?
Coz it’s midnight without your dawn
And I can’t abide the thought of you gone
Don’t worry
I’m not in a hurry
To go picking up leaves
And everyone just believes 
In the story they’re told
I will be brave, I will be bold
And ask
You to drop the mask
And just share
In the depths of the ocean know that I care 
And will open the door
If you still want me, I implore
Don’t let the time go by
The ways and means, the way I cry
Is it just an incomplete 
Coz I’m always begging at your feet
For you to change the tune
The earth quakes when you’re in the room
And I didn’t forget
I just thought that room was to let
In the forest where I ran
And you found something I don’t know if I can
In the cycle role
What is the meaning of the soul
Coz you exclaim
Could you just call me by my name
And not let go
Every breath that I breathe is for you, you know
And the wind howls and knocks on the shutters
I catch every word she barely utters
Could peace come to last
In a gentle warmth, not a furnace blast
As everything precarious, tips on the scale
I know that I’m bought but it’s not for sale
To anyone else
And mental health
Is a slogan or two
Do you see the needle as it’s pulling through
Or just the tapestry sewn
Do you know how we have grown
To be side by side 
I thank the Lord you are alive
And shining from skies 
In the place where we’re free there are no goodbyes
Or futile tries
I’ll see you soon to look in your eyes
And know
That it’s mutual, this feeling we show
In the years and time
In for a nickel, a penny, a dime
In all the ages
And the ripped pages
Of the story we write
I dust myself off, say I’ll be alright
As the leaves blow
I’ll be up to the challenge, you know

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Way We Burn
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			






The flame is burning me red
I’m ashes in the skins I’ve shed 
As I grow out of another domain
Does everybody live with this much pain
Or am I marching to my own beat
They say if you can’t stand the heat
You should get out of the fire
But it just takes me higher 
As I let go of all that’s frayed 
I kinda wished that I had stayed
To feel the feel of you move in me
You kinda set me free
With a single gaze
Did you know that I save
People with my soul
And I’ll love you til I grow old
And die a death
In the land of no regret
That builds a pyre
Dark black smoke as though a tyre
Was set to plume
Suddenly you’re in the room
And I feel all the fear depart
As you simply command my heart
To flutter and still
Some things change but this never will

Photo Credit:https://pin.it/4KgkFLt

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Remember Me, Love
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			






Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Age of the Airbender
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			






Do you see yourself in my refractions
And are these words more than transactions
Coz I can’t spell out what we seem to be
And it’s been years that you’ve blamed me
For something that is not my fault
Like pulling tracks from the vault 
Like you’re a songstress with a pen
And I land at your door once again
With a bouquet of apologies
If you want I’ll ask from my knees
Coz you are age old and awesome
You’re a kaleidoscope 
And it’s a slippery slope
Back into what we always were
It’s always my name next to her
And it’s not all roses in this flower bed
But I’m still a place you can rest your head
And lean on if you need strength
And I return the books you rent
Coz you loaned them to me
And you are my degree set free
In moderation, that is key
As we peer through our history
The faint light we used to be
Is now a river running free
Cause there are oceans calling us
And you’re a love that I trust
To always come back around
You be silence in the sound

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Liquor Talk
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The last time we spoke
I found you unabashedly woke
And I was a little shy
Coz I feel I’m gonna die
Like dead, like RIP me
Coz you are quintessentially free
And I can’t contain
An ocean in your mountain of pain
Because the forest runs wild
And I have loved you since I was a child 
Growing up to the brambles and brush 
Always being in a sort of a rush
Trying to fit in all I can
Then suddenly, a man 
At eighteen years old
The story’s not even close to being told 
Coz I’m ancient and I’m new
But I’ve never seen anything like you
With your debonair 
And your cute as hell fucking hair
And I know you might disagree
But, honey, if it was up to me
I’d keep you for a century, more
Fall to the floor
Coz I adore 
Everything in the way you move 
You look like Astaire in your shoes 
As they make a pattern on me
I love you Now, eternally

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
My Greatest Defeat
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

You are my greatest defeat
I just fall at your feet
And open up the midnight in the dawn
I look to my side and you are long gone 
And I’ve mountains to climb
But there were oceans of you being mine
Just settling down with a kid on the way
What is it that people say
“You’ll understand when you’re older”
But your gravity makes me bolder
Bold enough to refuse 
The point you want to prove 
With your gravelly voice
As if I even had a choice
To choose my own oppression 
And this is my confession
You always felt like a weight to carry
This guy who sorta wants to marry
Me at half my age
There’s ink enough to fill the page
With the stories that I make of us
Pencil marks on broken trust
Coz I just rewrite the story
Think of me in all of my glory
Just asking you to stay the night
You ask me if I’m alright
And I am but I’m sorta not 
The tilted stage is a lot
And is it every relationship 
Soldiers that war equip
To hold out on each other strong
I didn’t do anything wrong
It just wasn’t meant to be
Back then, but now I see
The fluorescent in the neon light
I don’t let you outta sight
And I was queen until we meet
Hold on, I’ve got another sheet
I’ve got to fill
You forget but I never will

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Running A Ten
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			

My energy system’s running a ten
And I’ve blown the fuse on the light again
And they all think I have psychosis
Some modern kind of neurosis
And it may be true that the mind
Is having trouble leaving behind
All the dreams of yesteryear 
But there’s a part of me that shows no fear
That knows, that simply realise
That everything is the sky in your eyes 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Avenues
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			






Which would be worse
That you move to Australia 
Or that I meet you on the street
And the words they might fail ya
As you present 
Your wife and kids
And I must contend 
With the life that’s his
And I let it go at eighteen
And I’ve been trying to right the dream
Ever since
I wince
When I think of all the truth I spilled
Out from my soul like it is killed
And I know he knotted threads
Wore them thinner as I lay in bed
With fear in my throat
If you burn a witch would she float 
And I can’t fight with this great swathe of sea
As it’s all pouring through me 
Like a vessel in the storm
Giving voice to the cold meets warm
And there’s really nothing stopping the flow
When you know you just let go

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Rhythm Section, Immaterially
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			
https://youtu.be/UOS5CP8tzYQ





Cause of death, dying
What do you expect, trying 
And I try to reason
With him but it’s just a season 
In the garden he grows
It’s all flowers and God knows
I try not to be the sky
Reflecting blues in his eyes
As they stare up at the sun
But I think he might be the One
As he moves in a sashay
And he can have me any way
He likes to entertain
And his love is not in vain
As he holds a paper heart
Out and it makes my own start
Beating a rhythm I cannot contain
Would the sky take back the rain
It had cried in tears
If it meant it could erase the years
That have gone in between
The midnight of someone else’s dream
In a come what may
What is it that the people say
That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge
And you are more than the pond you dredge
To bring up gold
And that story’s never told
If you’re looking for a quick line
In the bathroom for the thousandth time

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
It Was More Than That
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			





It was a grapevine fire that caught onto you
And I didn’t want you to know I was staring through
A portal into another world
How did I not see that you had a girl
And all my detective, all my sleuth
Building pillars of time upon our youth
And they had me admitted to a psych ward
I just look at you when I’m bored
And it makes me smile 
Then Emmett crashes in for a while 
With his clipboard and pen 
Could you say that again 
Like I said to you
The pain in your eyes was pushing me through
The eye of a needle so fine
God, I wish we would’ve had more time
Til the separate 
Would you call it fate
Or just say it’s my fault 
That a heart’s not made to be locked in a vault
And let out on special occasions 
Jesus, what are those abrasions 
Did you roll down a hill
He tells the truth but I never will
In his company 
And he just acts the fool with me 
And I feel whole 
I didn’t realise I’d found my soul

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Heaney’s Shovel
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			

Here is my pen like the blade of a knife
As it furrows through earth already turned twice 
And there is treasure within, I can hear it call
And all of the problems are not there at all
As I open air in the core of my being
I know there is something here worth seeing
And they tell me lies but they believe
In all of the strings that hang from my sleeve
And I’m just untwining a tapestry
So the threads might be able to run free
And make themselves a masterpiece
Not somebody else’s picture to learn to crease

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Outliers
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

Oh, the weather brought in Stephen
And I was weary with all of the leaving
Behind that I had done
Searching for the only one
And they say that awakening can land
You in a state where you’re under command
And out of the control you think you know
There’s nowhere it leads that I will not go
And I found myself in a psych clinic
I kept trying to explain why I shouldn’t be in it
But they brush past my honesty like it was lies
Pinned up a frame over my eyes
To tell me who they think I am
But I constantly fall outside the plan
And the time flowed past me like sand
Rough and brittle with the misunderstand
Til I met a common heart
And he made my pain look like art
With his smile and his self conscious laugh
I was doing yoga when I stretched my calf
And I wanted to explain just what was in my mind
Flexible around the river bend
And why do I stand for this shit
Oh, the ocean I flow with
Had me by decree
Down on one knee
Proposing a new direction
Standing outside natural selection 
Into a reverberate that would sound
The corridors I walked around
In monuments to my fear
But there was always someone near
And I was shaking with the times
Am I stepping on land mines
Or is everywhere I place my tread
Safely like they never said
And it’s hard to reconcile
That place with my secret smile
The one that knows no bounds
I used to listen for the sounds
That would set me free
I am okay, but hey, that’s just me!

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
One World Community
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			

Holding space for war torn regions
With the strength of prayer
So they know that love is there
And the fighters on the extreme
Are only caught up in the dream
Never knowing what they do
But what would you do if it was you
And if you had the power to make change
Would you think it a bit strange
That some people resist
There’s nobody on my list
Coz I have let go of enmity
But I stay vigilant coz integrity 
Means being aware that it could come back 
The ego hiding in the lack

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Emptiness, Devoid Of Form
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

The feel of not existing
Like I don’t have a form
Even though the body’s breathing
Is vital and is warm
Like I’m spirited away 
To another dimension
But I’m still in this one
And there’s inherent tension
Between what I am
And what I could be 
I always feel the gap
Though others cannot see
And I’m mindful and secure
Minute and profound
But my wings are getting lazy
From staying on the ground
And I want to try them out 
To see if I would soar
You say don’t wish for miracles 
But I just want them more
As I’m touched by the divine
In form but beyond reason
It’s time to remind you
That life is but a season
And like leaves in Autumn
We colour up then fade away
Don’t blame me for wanting more
To make enough of this day
That we’re given, in between two nights
He speaks to me a moment and my spirit ignites
To burn a hole in destiny or all that is to come
I’m not just a tragic tale I’ve been telling the young
To be wary and be watchful
But don’t forget to dance
I spin the top of reason 
And give you a second chance
To be all that you might
Ever want to desire
You looked in my eyes
I burnt up in the fire
That consume like ash and rust
For a phoenix to rise
It’s been exaggerated
The reports of my demise
I’m still flipping the lid
Of every bottle top
And you cannot contain me
As something that I’m not
But something that I am
And ever will be
I opened up my heart
Suddenly, I am free 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Snowdrops
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The snowdrops show their skin in January
When everything else is cold with the snow 
And like the darkest night 
It's only then it lets you go 
Coz I found 
The slightest sound
Was enough to wake the house 
So I learn to do without 
In the evenings I 
Just contemplate the way I die
To each and every moment fresh
And every second is the best 
In Immortal Being 
There's nothing new for the seeing 
Just what you have always been 
You are untethered from the dream 
That heretofore held you back 
But there's nothing that you lack 
And the dog days may be over 
But that doesn't stop me wishing on a four leafed clover 
To win the day 
It's not held within what people say 
But it is effervescently free 
But it's everywhere, don't look at me 
As though I'm something rarefied 
It's just something in me that's died
A thread that's broken, identified 
And it's more an omission than I lied 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Guy On The Screen
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

Waiting for the guy on the screen 
Is it just a long dream 
Since I was born 
I've been in love with the storm
That just rages
I use pages 
To rifle through another scene 
And I say that it's just something I've been 
And I wonder if Stephen 
Would smile if the ends weren't even
And I just want to show 
Him the places that I go
When my serenity expands
There are vast oceans of open lands 
That are there for the the perusing 
I have no idea what it is that I'm losing 
When I let you go 
It's the complete unknown and it show 
Me something that I've never seen
But it's nerve wrecking to be the queen 
Of the midnights that just sashay 
Is it okay
If I like you like that 
The boy said he wanted his hat
Back but it was mine
And I tell it to him a thousand time
You can only ever be
The space that you set free

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Fear Of Something Harboured
		

		
.Reading time 3 minutes.

		

			

The fear of something harboured 
Scratches at my skin
If I fight it 
It just gets in
So I try to act unconcerned
But the feeling, like fire, it burned
And it's been this way since I was a child
Running through summers like I was wild
Or when I walked down the hall
Touching three times each side of the wall
And they diagnosed me with OCD
Til I broke free at twenty three
But the monument crashed
And I ended up in the place where the drugs were stashed
And everyone that I love says to just go down 
But I can't run that side of town 
So I try to find a way
Until, eventually, I'm not okay
And give in 
Was it all coz I loved him
I wonder to myself 
What does it matter about mental health
It's what they say
That I deserve a brighter day
But I'm just fine with the evening hue
The way the purple melts into blue 
And, look, you can see the stars 
Your walls are only prison bars
And set nobody free
I know because it happened to me
As I stalked the halls of St. Patrick's Hospital
Remembering the core that is vital 
And I chat with Barry
But I don't think he's the dream I want to marry
And I'm submerged
The worlds converged
And I was caught in between 
The crosshairs of someone else's dream 
As I find a paper on the couch 
If only there was someone who would vouch 
For me 
But there's only my dignity
To speak for what I stand
And I don't really like what they have planned
They say psychosis, I say reveal 
They say unwell but it's something I steal 
Into then creep out again 
And I was down with the coolest men 
Like Emmett with his pen 
And clipboard making sure he sees where I am 
And he said "Oh, there you are" when we almost collided 
Between a pane of glass you and I are divided 
And he is something sweet
And if it was somewhere else that we meet
I'd bet we'd hit it off
I was counting every cough
As though they were signal fires
I scream out; "ye're all a bunch of liars"
Coz I can't get my point across
All I can think of is all I've lost 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Snare Drum
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Door Opened
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The door opened and the sun shone through
Now I'm blinded by all of you
In my psychois
I am precocious 
As I make awakening look simple
Then suddenly hard
It's like It flicks a switch
And deals the final card
To make good on a promise true
And I trust in it too
Because it broke the fragile seam
And I realised that the dream 
Can't cage the forest of my heart
So I make my pain make art, make art
And it's all a wonder in the deepest blue
An ocean that I saw in you
And it surged into 
A tidal wave surge
And I craved to find the bird 
That alighted on the tallest tree
And the flood just freed me 
From shackles I didn't even know were there
And somehow It knows that care 
Is only meant for a temporary incarnation
But your soul and its appellation
Is more universal than creation
Could ever contain
I came down as the softest rain 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
The Closed Farm
		

		
.Reading time 1 minute.

		

			

The closed farm opened its eyes
And it realised
Everybody dies
Some day, eventually
What of me exists perpetually
Coz I know there's something there
That goes beyond the wind that tear
The seams from the jam of the door
I woke up on the floor
With a teacher staring down at me 
And I still remember the way that she
Was frightened that I 
Might be broken the way I lie
But I'm singing
The bells are ringing 
In a new dawn
And the old world is all gone
For the moment at least
Though, God knows, you can't cage the beast
Only watch it scream 
And realise it's just a dream 
In the winter of my life, when I was young
It was over before it had begun 
But it was not a final stop
It was love that meant a lot
And something in me just knew
That there is a deeper shade of blue
Than the sky you know
I hold on and it lets me go

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Rooting Fir
		

		
.Reading time less than 1 minute.

		

			

https://pin.it/4FP8SDa





The tree beds down deep in my soul
And I’m as icy as the North Pole
On a summer evening
It’s global warming but are you believing 
The stories they weave
And it’s cotton wool I have up my sleeve
No knife to stab you in the back
No hatred to make an attack
On what is perfect pure
You loved me but you weren’t sure
That you could trust the branch to bough
But I’ll come close if you allow
Me near your cistern heart
The one that fills before it starts
To empty out
And the earth quakes with your doubt 
As you mean it all to me
Could you be my long lost sea 

					

	




					
						


		

		

			
Paper Trains
		

		
.Reading time 2 minutes.

		

			

https://pin.it/4LrKnqa





Using money as a measurement for success 
All I get is lost in distress
And unconsciousness
As I cling to the wall
Then the whole thing fall
And I look at the rubble at my feet
Why did God let us meet
If he didn’t intend us to be together 
I scream in the morning air and the weather
Utters no reply
As dawn breaks over the seat where I lie
And that was back in ten
Number one on my list of men
That I adore
It’s like I found him on the shore
I used to seek solace on
But after I met you the whole thing was gone
It burned up like a candle flame
And all I have to hold is your name 
And I remember your hand so soft and cool
That summer we met after school
In the park
And the field is green but the dark
Is just around the corner and I
Know what it is to be left out to dry
Like washing on the line
But don’t worry about it, it’s fine
He looks deeply into my eyes
And I’m momentarily without disguise
Or words to play
“I didn’t know you loved me that way”
I stutter a response
He’s not fooled
The evening changed
And the heat it cooled
Down into a summer balm
And all I feel is this unearthly calm
Creeping over the edges of my perception
The perfect kind of misdirection
To make the minute hour long
“I didn’t know you were that strong”
And the wellspring bubbles to the surface
“My God, aren’t you perfect”
In the moment we hold each other
I could never love another
The way I love you
I close my eyes and it’s just us two