Tag: awakening

Fliuch Báite

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Deliver all these notes into the hands of my older self 
I don’t know who could take from them anything else
And am I just hoarding trinkets 
Blink it’s 
Gone 
And I never said so long 
But you belong 
By my side
As the grey hairs encroach
On what I love the most
And, time, it is a fickle thing
And Aoibhín said I had a broken wing
In Dean Swift in St. Pat’s
They must have been wondering what I was at
Stalking the halls like a hungry ghost
In the shape of what I love the most
And it is coast to coast
But the shackles just fall
And I drew an eye on the wall
Coz I felt it watching me 
Shared a part of my history
I was back a year later and they hadn’t ruined 
The information that just came too soon
Til a woman took a pen
And wrote words over it again and again
So they painted the colour and the mess
A shade of brown but I digress
From what I’m saying here
It’s just I feel you near
When I’m locked in a cell
By those who wish me well
And they click a pen
Write the error down again
And I can’t seem to explain
That when the sky cracked into the rain
The pane of glass came falling down
Into sheets on the ground 
And I was soaked through and through
Fliuch and staring up at you
As I scream unto the sky
Please don’t let me die
Until I make destiny mine
And I will go through it, it’s fine
As all and sundry move away
Leave me to fall into what they say
And the meanings true
I reach out but there’s no you

Shout To The Lord

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They could put me up on a cross
And all would not be lost
They could drive me down the alley
And I would still walk in the valley
Of the shadow of death
And I would not fear yet
For the Lord would be by my side
And I would abide 
As I always am
Moving in space without a plan 
And the heat of the fire is a furnace blast
But something’s healed within the cast
The broken bone 
And the heart of solid stone
Cracks at the sound of the light
I love my Jesus, alright
And would follow that soul, that man, that being
In the waves of ocean that he’s freeing
And all the sheep
Are like people that we keep
Safe from harm
I panicked and he stayed calm
As the water raged
I took a leaf out of his page
When he held out his hand
And said you will be grand
If only you trust
I shake and quake but I must
Go palm to palm
At first the audience and then the psalm
To leave my spirit ringing
Tell me what else should I be singing

Remember Me, Love

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Remember me, love
As I lie in wait
I sit on the bed
And think of a date 
I once had with you
I was one of the few
To walk in that open door
Would you like to see the shore
That laps the waves
And all the lost boys it saves
And Barry made a joke of me
But he was hella cute
Even if he did play the flute
And I’m looking at Hozier
On a magazine
Thinking he might just be the dream
Some Andrew Byrne with height
I bet we’d never fight
Only do things 
He dare not speak
Lest I see where he’s weak
And now I have the freedom
To be encased
Do you remember 
The first time our hearts raced
As we sat side by side
Just bristling with the feeling
Of being alive
And you zing with magic
Some electric touch
And I know I’m someone 
You’d like to rush
Into something unseen
I’m just part of the dream
On your screen
No solipsis, just the Queen
To put a crown on your head
And there are mornings
We could wake up dead
But, so far, we’re good
No Snow White in the wood
Just a single dancing elf
That asks you to just be yourself
When you move with me
It’s priceless, baby, but its free

Running A Ten

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My energy system’s running a ten
And I’ve blown the fuse on the light again
And they all think I have psychosis
Some modern kind of neurosis
And it may be true that the mind
Is having trouble leaving behind
All the dreams of yesteryear 
But there’s a part of me that shows no fear
That knows, that simply realise
That everything is the sky in your eyes

Brutal Blows And The Reveal

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Death, the scar scabs over
But I pick at it 
Until it starts to bleed
And I must take heed
And heal again
Did I lose a friend
When the ocean between us
Was a nightmare so dark I couldn’t dream it
And I thought I could clamber back
But you build a house on what you lack
And I try to find away in
But I just face the sin
That builds a wall
Like the maniacs down the hall
Do 
What about you
What’s on your scene
If you could paint it on a screen 
Coz you keep it tight lipped
Would you notice the glitch if the track hadn’t skipped 
On the part where Weird Al riffs
I know there are those who’ve called me a bitch 
And maybe there’s an element of truth in their professions
But I would never want to force a confession 
Like she did to me
Did you see
The welt that she left
Cut my heart with a blade so deft
And it was like it all caved in
Til the light broke and I met him
And he showed me a shine
That used to be mine
In the days before 
She didn’t want me anymore 
But the clue
Was that I chose you
In the forest of dreams
And the screams
Are not as sharp as they used to be
Am I desensitized or do I just see
What’s there to unfold
I think I found my fields of gold

Outliers

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Oh, the weather brought in Stephen
And I was weary with all of the leaving
Behind that I had done
Searching for the only one
And they say that awakening can land
You in a state where you’re under command
And out of the control you think you know
There’s nowhere it leads that I will not go
And I found myself in a psych clinic
I kept trying to explain why I shouldn’t be in it
But they brush past my honesty like it was lies
Pinned up a frame over my eyes
To tell me who they think I am
But I constantly fall outside the plan
And the time flowed past me like sand
Rough and brittle with the misunderstand
Til I met a common heart
And he made my pain look like art
With his smile and his self conscious laugh
I was doing yoga when I stretched my calf
And I wanted to explain just what was in my mind
Flexible around the river bend
And why do I stand for this shit
Oh, the ocean I flow with
Had me by decree
Down on one knee
Proposing a new direction
Standing outside natural selection 
Into a reverberate that would sound
The corridors I walked around
In monuments to my fear
But there was always someone near
And I was shaking with the times
Am I stepping on land mines
Or is everywhere I place my tread
Safely like they never said
And it’s hard to reconcile
That place with my secret smile
The one that knows no bounds
I used to listen for the sounds
That would set me free
I am okay, but hey, that’s just me!

One World Community

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Holding space for war torn regions
With the strength of prayer
So they know that love is there
And the fighters on the extreme
Are only caught up in the dream
Never knowing what they do
But what would you do if it was you
And if you had the power to make change
Would you think it a bit strange
That some people resist
There’s nobody on my list
Coz I have let go of enmity
But I stay vigilant coz integrity 
Means being aware that it could come back 
The ego hiding in the lack

Emptiness, Devoid Of Form

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The feel of not existing
Like I don’t have a form
Even though the body’s breathing
Is vital and is warm
Like I’m spirited away 
To another dimension
But I’m still in this one
And there’s inherent tension
Between what I am
And what I could be 
I always feel the gap
Though others cannot see
And I’m mindful and secure
Minute and profound
But my wings are getting lazy
From staying on the ground
And I want to try them out 
To see if I would soar
You say don’t wish for miracles 
But I just want them more
As I’m touched by the divine
In form but beyond reason
It’s time to remind you
That life is but a season
And like leaves in Autumn
We colour up then fade away
Don’t blame me for wanting more
To make enough of this day
That we’re given, in between two nights
He speaks to me a moment and my spirit ignites
To burn a hole in destiny or all that is to come
I’m not just a tragic tale I’ve been telling the young
To be wary and be watchful
But don’t forget to dance
I spin the top of reason 
And give you a second chance
To be all that you might
Ever want to desire
You looked in my eyes
I burnt up in the fire
That consume like ash and rust
For a phoenix to rise
It’s been exaggerated
The reports of my demise
I’m still flipping the lid
Of every bottle top
And you cannot contain me
As something that I’m not
But something that I am
And ever will be
I opened up my heart
Suddenly, I am free

The Snowdrops

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The snowdrops show their skin in January
When everything else is cold with the snow 
And like the darkest night 
It's only then it lets you go 
Coz I found 
The slightest sound
Was enough to wake the house 
So I learn to do without 
In the evenings I 
Just contemplate the way I die
To each and every moment fresh
And every second is the best 
In Immortal Being 
There's nothing new for the seeing 
Just what you have always been 
You are untethered from the dream 
That heretofore held you back 
But there's nothing that you lack 
And the dog days may be over 
But that doesn't stop me wishing on a four leafed clover 
To win the day 
It's not held within what people say 
But it is effervescently free 
But it's everywhere, don't look at me 
As though I'm something rarefied 
It's just something in me that's died
A thread that's broken, identified 
And it's more an omission than I lied

The Guy On The Screen

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Waiting for the guy on the screen 
Is it just a long dream 
Since I was born 
I've been in love with the storm
That just rages
I use pages 
To rifle through another scene 
And I say that it's just something I've been 
And I wonder if Stephen 
Would smile if the ends weren't even
And I just want to show 
Him the places that I go
When my serenity expands
There are vast oceans of open lands 
That are there for the the perusing 
I have no idea what it is that I'm losing 
When I let you go 
It's the complete unknown and it show 
Me something that I've never seen
But it's nerve wrecking to be the queen 
Of the midnights that just sashay 
Is it okay
If I like you like that 
The boy said he wanted his hat
Back but it was mine
And I tell it to him a thousand time
You can only ever be
The space that you set free

The Fear Of Something Harboured

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The fear of something harboured 
Scratches at my skin
If I fight it 
It just gets in
So I try to act unconcerned
But the feeling, like fire, it burned
And it's been this way since I was a child
Running through summers like I was wild
Or when I walked down the hall
Touching three times each side of the wall
And they diagnosed me with OCD
Til I broke free at twenty three
But the monument crashed
And I ended up in the place where the drugs were stashed
And everyone that I love says to just go down 
But I can't run that side of town 
So I try to find a way
Until, eventually, I'm not okay
And give in 
Was it all coz I loved him
I wonder to myself 
What does it matter about mental health
It's what they say
That I deserve a brighter day
But I'm just fine with the evening hue
The way the purple melts into blue 
And, look, you can see the stars 
Your walls are only prison bars
And set nobody free
I know because it happened to me
As I stalked the halls of St. Patrick's Hospital
Remembering the core that is vital 
And I chat with Barry
But I don't think he's the dream I want to marry
And I'm submerged
The worlds converged
And I was caught in between 
The crosshairs of someone else's dream 
As I find a paper on the couch 
If only there was someone who would vouch 
For me 
But there's only my dignity
To speak for what I stand
And I don't really like what they have planned
They say psychosis, I say reveal 
They say unwell but it's something I steal 
Into then creep out again 
And I was down with the coolest men 
Like Emmett with his pen 
And clipboard making sure he sees where I am 
And he said "Oh, there you are" when we almost collided 
Between a pane of glass you and I are divided 
And he is something sweet
And if it was somewhere else that we meet
I'd bet we'd hit it off
I was counting every cough
As though they were signal fires
I scream out; "ye're all a bunch of liars"
Coz I can't get my point across
All I can think of is all I've lost

Snare Drum

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Hit that snare drum
And I try to do the sum
That will add up to the whole of my life
Am I just a house and a wife
To some man I don't yet know 
Or is there a reason that I just go
To the farthest corners of the earth
To find a way out of the hurt
The distant hum of the fan 
I want to stop it if I can
So I meditate and it doesn't work
I run and I just sweat my shirt 
And I listen to Eckhart Tolle
It switches into something whole
And cascades like the perfect song
Beating the movement where you went wrong 
And I'm listening to my own misery biz 
I used to be the shizz
Now I'm just old and normal 
Saw you in a suit so formal
Looking like you pay the rent
I wonder where the vagabond went
That crashed into my life like a storm 
And he's the fire that keeps the heat warm 
I wish you could know
That I would never let you go 
Only let the line go slack
And wait until you call me back 
And you always do 
I walk another's shoe
Til the soles are worn and dry
I dunno I had to try
And be the one to satisfy 
The longing that reaches out
It quenches thirst to match my doubt
Like that castle in the sky
I meet in dreams that die
Into a morning that just breaks 
And the girl, like the ocean, wakes

The Door Opened

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The door opened and the sun shone through
Now I'm blinded by all of you
In my psychois
I am precocious 
As I make awakening look simple
Then suddenly hard
It's like It flicks a switch
And deals the final card
To make good on a promise true
And I trust in it too
Because it broke the fragile seam
And I realised that the dream 
Can't cage the forest of my heart
So I make my pain make art, make art
And it's all a wonder in the deepest blue
An ocean that I saw in you
And it surged into 
A tidal wave surge
And I craved to find the bird 
That alighted on the tallest tree
And the flood just freed me 
From shackles I didn't even know were there
And somehow It knows that care 
Is only meant for a temporary incarnation
But your soul and its appellation
Is more universal than creation
Could ever contain
I came down as the softest rain

The Closed Farm

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The closed farm opened its eyes
And it realised
Everybody dies
Some day, eventually
What of me exists perpetually
Coz I know there's something there
That goes beyond the wind that tear
The seams from the jam of the door
I woke up on the floor
With a teacher staring down at me 
And I still remember the way that she
Was frightened that I 
Might be broken the way I lie
But I'm singing
The bells are ringing 
In a new dawn
And the old world is all gone
For the moment at least
Though, God knows, you can't cage the beast
Only watch it scream 
And realise it's just a dream 
In the winter of my life, when I was young
It was over before it had begun 
But it was not a final stop
It was love that meant a lot
And something in me just knew
That there is a deeper shade of blue
Than the sky you know
I hold on and it lets me go

Colour Splash

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https://pin.it/3C8qjPn
Taylor’s bringing it home
She opened the door when I was all alone
And let in a little light
I fight it out but I’m alright
As I say to the seasons 
That this love is without reason
As I shudder to a halt
She lets six more out of the vault 
And they run riot in the scene
She’s painting colour in the dream
As the grey gets a splatter of paint
I see the One and I faint
And on the floor in Room One
I know what it is to walk the Son
In feet that are his and mine
He carries me across the beach that fine
Summer’s day in the winter of my life
I smile because I am alright

Rhythm Section

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Cause of death, dying
What do you expect, trying 
And I try to reason
With him but it’s just a season 
In the garden he grows
It’s all flowers and God knows
I try not to be the sky
Reflecting blues in his eyes
As they stare up at the sun
But I think he might be the One
As he moves in a sashay
And he can have me any way
He likes to entertain
And his love is not in vain
As he holds a paper heart
Out and it makes my own start
Beating a rhythm I cannot contain
Would the sky take back the rain
It had cried in tears
If it meant it could erase the years
That have gone in between
The midnight of someone else’s dream
In a come what may
What is it that the people say
That there is a wilderness beyond the hedge
And you are more than the pond you dredge
To bring up gold
And that story’s never told
If you’re looking for a quick line
In the bathroom for the thousandth time

The Violence At The Core

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The walls that they built up solidified 
And it was as though someone had died
As we stare at a Being crucified
And wonder how the powers that be lied
And knocked a tree so they could raise him up 
And give us a type of archetypical love
That goes without season
An unconditional in the reason
And I’ve been a student of the Catholic faith
Longer than I’ve known hate
To exist, well seemingly so
But I don’t think anyone can know
Unless they’ve dipped their toe
In the Divine
It was a moment and I called it mine
Like some kind of trophy on the wall
When it’s not like that at all
The awakening, the grand pull away
Of the cobwebs in what people say
Like a veil, thick and dense
Split between the past and the future tense
But the Present’s like a knife
How I longed to be wife
To a mysterious man 
Like only the dreamer in me can
And without throwing him to the wolves
Can I acknowledge that which pulls
And drags you to the core
Be still and drink in a little bit more

Stillness Is A Dragon

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https://pin.it/2bwP6SU
Stillness is a dragon
It eats me up
And there are some people on Earth
Who would call that love
Like the last marauders 
Who round the bend
Who search to find
The true friend
That shines in all lights 
That is every dawn
The something that’s there
When all is gone
It’s arising in me 
And it’s rising in you
The bun’s in the oven
Now let the broth stew
Til it comes steaming
Into your hands
And you know the meaning
Of life on these lands

The Sound Of One Heart Breaking

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Questioning these sacred concepts
The weight of the world that makes war
And I mourn you but I don’t know what for
Is it just the pain serves to remind
There’s a place you have not left behind
And I break down on the floor
Coz the sound of the door
Shutting cracks my skin
And I try not to let it in
But the light is coming from the inside out
And it replaces all my doubt
With the ferver of another land 
Would you understand
If I told you I just had to let it be
It’s like all of my soul’s been taken from me
When you breathed your last
Or when I discovered a thing of the past
No more what it is
And I call myself His
But it’s a running game
And it’s all the same
No way to stem the flow
Of what you cannot let go
I wipe the tears from my face
Just in case
Anyone sees me in that place
But you’re in my heart
And the mark
That was made
Is the same scar that scabbed over what’s saved
Did it come to me too early to appreciate 
Fourteen years old in another state
Where time and space don’t exist
But in the present I just subsist
On the bread of another longing 
And the people are thronging
Round the gates of hell
Begging to be let in, as well
And I cannot follow
The tree into the hollow 
Of what you came to show
I love you forever, I hope you know

The Cult Of Country

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Is your country just a concept
Something you play with
Have you grown up 
Or are you still being a d***
Coz I cannot stand in silence
As the pillars burn 
Wait for someone else
To steady the axis turn
And storms are breaking out
Like they said they would
I read between the lines
Of a Book that is Good
But you seek to condemn 
What is merely knowing 
I look out the window
It’s April and it’s snowing
As the ice melts
And the Gulf Stream redirects 
I listen to Greta
And I wonder what’s next
In this reverberate 
That is slowly brewing
The people in charge
Don’t know what they’re doing
Or maybe they do 
(In that case it’s worse)
You order a Starbucks 
But I sense a hearse 
Somewhere on the horizon 
For the human race 
There’s no telling the atrocities 
That maybe we will face 
If something doesn’t change 
On the political scene 
I woke up from my nightmare
And it was just a dream

The Trauma

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Does the pain go by the name of trauma
And are we just flora and fauna
In the Garden Of Eden
What do you believe in
Coz I know you’re atheist 
But it doesn’t erase the trust
I have in the Divine
And if I say I’m doing fine
It would be a lie
Coz people die
And I try to stem the flow
Of holding on to let go
It gets ripped from you
Out of the hands it once poured into
And you hit me like a smash and grab 
And I know you’re not just a lad
Who’s down with the girls
I uttered; “you are my world”
And you balked
I almost wish we never talked
Coz it landed me in hell
In an all-but-name kind of cell 
Where they were super nice to me
But tried to change me by degree
By offering medication 
So I might change the station
But I am the screen
The pictures that move are the dream
But I can convince no one
So I just let the drum
Beat me til I’m nothing new
But I can’t claim it was for you
Coz I let go the true
In a sunset kind of hue
That wakes to pay it’s due 
I faked the sleeping thunder blue

The Loss Of You

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Writing a poem for you
Because God wanted me to
And it happened when I was eleven
Memories of you when I was seven
And I woke in the night with a rhyme in my head
I sat in the bathroom and instead
Of writing it down
I let the ocean drown
Me with waves of grief
And every day it’s beyond belief
Because there’s no going back
And you only know it when you lack
A grandfather you love
And their promises of above
Don’t stem the catapulting might
Of waking in the night
With a poem at your pen 
If I could go back again 
I would pay tribute to you
With love instead of falling into
A mire that knows no end
Did I really lose a friend
And I stay around Kilglass
Coz the memory last
And your house is just across the road
The years sped up but time slowed 
Down enough to let me look back
And I found someone who goes by the name of Jack
And he stills the storm in my bones
Holds my hand through the all alones
That stifle my voice
I don’t scream by choice
Just the horror of losing you
Like I’ve become the void I stare into 
As if I could find you in my grief
That the pain is a measure of the leaf
I take out of your book
Does the past take a second look
Into the vast of the sky
The Kingdom of Heaven that will never die

A Dream In Consciousness

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Is life just a dream in consciousness 
That we are all having together
Some focal points
That personalize the weather 
And we trudge and we scorn
But we don’t realise why we were born
As we find our way up the hill
But there’s clarity when things get still
And I lived a summer when someone die
I was so sad I couldn’t cry
Like a sky
Being too cold to snow
I loved him so I let him go
But I found something else
In the depths of myself
That made everything clear
And I held him dear
But I couldn’t keep him
I woke from my sleep and
I thought it was all made up
For a moment but it was not enough
To quiet my shaking hand
As realisation made me understand
That the man under the sea
Behind the boat that he
Tried to rescue was simply  
A way of dealing with what I couldn’t control
It was so vast the waves didn’t roll
But made an empty silent sound
I’m lost for someone I want around
And she backed away from me
I let her go coz I want to be free
And she don’t understand 
I ignore her fatigue and her underhand
That strikes out
She is full of doubt
But that don’t make more solid stone
And we are both alone
Coz we can’t trust
The moment when the balloon went bust 
And splattered the paint
My mind couldn’t handle it so I faint
On the floor in front of Room One
No one knows the Sun
That shone
For a moment it was gone 
Then it reappear
And a friend I hold so dear
Told me I should get it checked out
But I just want to shout
It from the rooftop
That there is no bad cop
To fear
The Lord is ever near
And catches everyone like a net
It happened to me, now I can’t forget
All that has come to pass
The time goes by but this last
Through the seasons of change 
And the acting strange 
And the loss is not what I thought I knew 
I am always with you

New Dawn

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I spilt all of the blood on the floor
For the sake of what I couldn’t adore
And he blames me for his strife
All because I wouldn’t be his wife
And he’s got dues and he’s got paid 
But I wonder does he ever raid
The inside of a closet dark
It’s not Narnia walking through this park 
As I stand tall against the wind
And the people say I’ve sinned
Because I wouldn’t bow to the extreme 
Don’t they know that life’s a dream
I try to hold it in
But the word begin
To speak its own message true
It doesn’t stop because of you
And I sat shivering on the chair
Til I realized the cold don’t get in there
Unless I let it in
And I’m just dancing with Him
In this grand swathe we call the earth
Love isn’t born to hurt
No matter what they teach you in school 
About the heat and being cool
Coz the sun just shot me through the heart 
With a cherub’s aim and holy dart
And I fell to the floor
With the shock of something more
That just found me in the room
It characterizes the sense of doom
With a laugh and a smile
You don’t have to walk the green mile

Dropping The Bass

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One moment of togetherness in the pit of my stomach
It’s like that drop when the rollercoaster plummet
And you know that there’s no going back
You’re my personal heart attack
In a dark room or on a screen
And it was later I saw you as the dream
Always at arms length away
Coz it’s not safe if you stay
That close to me
You’re threatening my captivity
And I wanna be free
So I got lost in a degree
Where I make two and two equal four
But you’re on the other side of the door 
Singing please let me in
So I let myself love him
Soft and slow
Like I am letting you go
But then I took a storm
Said this thing isn’t even warm
Though the lightning cracks
And you let loose some things you can’t take back
And I swore we’d never speak again
And I lost my tenuous faith in men 
But it keeps coming back to find me
I’m just being eccentric so don’t mind me
When this reel is done
I’ll shine like the fuckin sun

The Elucidate

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Trying to elucidate 
The thing I used to call my fate
And I’ve got a lot on my plate
As they silence the confusion
But watch what you’re calling a delusion
Coz you don’t know what you say
They don’t understand so they put me away
And I fought and I raged against the machine
But would you make war with a dream
Or just see the sunset over the glen
And if I fight it’ll just happen again
One where the man breathes down my neck
And search for a ship he can wreck
And will I just be mad til my dying day
Or will the pain just go away
If I stand up and believe
She rolled up tissues under my sleeve
So I’d have something if I got stuffy nosed
The camera was paused so I posed
But I just look like him
So I took it again

The Rain And The Grass

.Reading time 2 minutes.
I think I've found the princess and the pea
And the thing that was troubling me 
Coz it started that summer after we met
Something about time and what we cannot forget 
And it was just a day
But it changed everything anyway
And you were a little emo cool
I was a little high achiever in school
And we both wrote our own stories
It doesn't help that yours always floors me
With your honesty and straight talk
If I knew you better I would've said you'd walk 
But as it was we sat side by side
And I felt I knew what was inside
You from the way you stared at my frame
And I barely know your name
But it's been embedded in my mind since
As if you are the perfect prince
To cut through the brambles and briars
To wake the one who sleeps through fires
And I know I should not utter the truth
Lest I find myself in league with a brute
Who evinces all that there is to be
When I discovered you with me 
It was as though a holy sun burned 
It was as though the axis turned
Just for the sake of gravity
And it's the magnetism that pulls you to me 
In the era of high agenda
You don't have to defend that 
Same old little pocket of pain
Because I will only assuage the rain
That kisses the ground and grows the grass
And the trouble is not born to last
But to come and go
So that we both might know
What peace will entertain
You are a beautiful refrain
As we grow the earth
Up out of it's time of hurt
Into the knowledge of the sun
And that we all are one

Twin Flame Dreams

.Reading time 1 minute.
I meet you in my darkest hours
When I've been given over to unconscious powers
To remake the day
You touch my hand anyway
And say
That everything will be okay
And you're mystical, blue and something serene
I seem to only meet you in my dreams
Where your warm presence touches my soul 
And you crash like the tide on the shore that I roll
And we are as one beyond what I can contain
If you were a cloud you would fall to me as rain
But you're not a nebulous feat of the sky
You are a love that will never die
And I met you so long ago
But I knew you before that, you know
And we've had our rows and our differences change
I'm too much the same and you're overly strange
But somehow we meet in the middle of our love story plot
Breaking the shell of all that we're not
Into an omelette of fate's desire
You set my heart on fire
And it burns away all the cracks
I'm broken but I would not take it back
Coz that's how the light gets through
And I see it shining in you
As you magnify the circumspect
Is there a moment to reject
What we've known thus far
How could I ever know what you are?

The Role Of Men

.Reading time 1 minute.
He got a dial on the rotary blade
And he claimed he knew how to save
But he sent me to some kind of hell
Then forbade me to ever tell
The story of how our love was made
He put the darkness into the shade
Of the sun that just shines on me
Or from within the holy sea
In the forests he was found
And I can't bear to hear the sound
Of what forever whispered that night
He asked me if I was alright
So I proceeded to spill the secret soul
Then he panicked and the whole
Was exiled to the far reaches of the kingdom
So far away he won't even sing them 
As a lullaby to his pain
The clouds were too apt to rain
Upon the land 
That used to be sand
To hold my feet
As they walked to the place where we meet
In between the intersection
Of my silence and his rejection
Of all that could ever be
What is the meaning of the word free

The Monument

.Reading time 1 minute.
Fighting the monument to the era gone by
I dunno, I just had to try
But throwing stones at the wall
Is not the way to get over it all
And they had me medicated to the hilt
I couldn't stop crying til the flower wilt
And the flow of the years pass through
As I stare through the window at you
Hoping you might turn your head
But I better watch my mouth or I'll end up dead
Coz there's traps for every sound
And they're scattered all around
In the avenues that people walk 
And the professionals are all talk
Coz it's a road less traveled by
And it's a witch hunt if you claim to fly
When you are an earth bound creature
But I thought this deserved a feature 
In the newspaper of us
It's crumpled like our broken trust

The Broken Girls Club

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Welcome to the broken girls club
Admission is free
But it will cost you more
Than you ever thought it could be
And is it just an excuse that we get to use
To say we can’t live up to the point you prove
With pen on paper
And the people who hate her
Cutting like incisors
Labeled as survivors 
When it’s just a midnight rush
That is tender to the touch
That spirals out into infinity
Are you listening to me 
At all
And I hit a wall
Or bedrock
As you claim to be what I am not

No Deal

.Reading time 2 minutes.
They talk about taking a cut
I don’t wish to intrude but
Isn’t that selling out on your dreams
The tailor rips all the seams 
On a mighty dress
And I confess
That I never really knew what this life thing was
I just keep holding on because 
It seems to be the only thing to do
Hold my breath and set the queue 
And everything will be alright
There is no way to fight the night
Only accept its lapping waves
And the superhero who saves 
Is your own deepest core
Pushing you til you know there’s more 
Than surface appearance
In the woods and there’s been a clearance
Into some sort of scene
Everything is hazy as a dream
As I take what they offer me 
But I would rather be free
Of the chains that bind
They run rings around my mind
But suffice to say
It doesn’t go away
It only suppress
It’s there to be addressed
And I hold my hand out to the dark
It dances me around in the park
With the grass under my feet
How was it that we never meet
In all the years we’ve been together
Just me, you and the weather
And it’s a lavender suite
I let it go and defeat
Is the sweetest thing I know
It just took Him time to show
The underneath that silences doubt
Now forever is what I’m all about
And death is the mask that God wears
You don’t realise it til the illusion tears
And you’re left with a landscape in your lap
Did the Universe take a nap
On overseeing the score 
Coz I’m not sure who I am anymore 
But You assure
That this road is pure
As midnight snow
The moon kissing the white below

The Salty Air

.Reading time 1 minute.
The idea I came into being
The idea I go is sometimes freeing
But more than that is the pane of glass
That I watched one day just smash
As I looked across the reflection
It had conjured up
And though it was weak
It was born of love
And salty air caught my nose
It wasn’t something I ever chose
But would I go back
To buying into the sense of lack
That is so endemic
Long before the pandemic
Came to take lives from our shore
How much you lose is how much you adore
And I stared at him from across the stage
Riveted from the page
He had used to ink
The passing stream they call “to think”
And the joy just burst
Like a balloon in my thirst
And I hungered for air
That moved just because you were there 
Can you rivet an eye
And please explain why people die
If you can
Just a man 
But somehow more
I woke up Wednesday on the floor

Juxtapositions

.Reading time 1 minute.
As a species we’re violent and cruel
Just look what it’s like in an American school
As they all compete to win the day
Or fight like hell to get away
And guns abound
I can hear their rattling sound
As they fire off
It’s a trigger point but what’s the cost
Of loving what you can’t contain
Can the sky hold the rain
Back once it’s started to flow
I let it be and you know 
It just moves from me
Like a current in an adjacent sea
That rhythms a tide
Did you realise you’re alive
Or are you just going through the motions
Bracing for the commotion
As it enters the building
And what is the frame that you’re gilding
With beautiful paint
I see the sun and I faint

The Gifts And The Fruits

.Reading time 1 minute.
Looking for the gifts and the fruits
Not growing up to be one of those suits 
I asked why I wasn’t suddenly wise
And why it is that everyone dies 
If we’re all eternal
And what is the infernal
But another cast of the dice
And reincarnation means more than twice
What do people believe
The kingdom of heaven up your sleeve
Or something new
He came to save all of you
And his example 
Means no sheep is left stranded 
On a mountaintop
His Love is a lot
And I find it hard to bear
The way the fabric suddenly tear
The sky in two
I was with him but thinking of You
And summer came just like a minidress
The ominous that I suppress
Threatens to override 
The system that I’ve tried to hide
In all the folds and creases of paper
Get out of the rat race and caper
That endlessly flies
As somewhere in the distance a child cries
With no one too soothe
And I’m self indulgently in a mood
Coz I don’t get my way
But what would God say
If he had breath to breathe
And lungs with which the words were freed
To express themselves
Is it time to take honesty down off the shelves

The Vines That Pull

.Reading time 1 minute.
So I got locked up
For a crime I didn’t commit
And the doctors are in league
With the demons I’m dancing with
And they’ve got names 
For my affliction 
Like love and lust
Passion and addiction 
And I can’t exist 
Between the two poles 
Do anything other
Than be completely whole
And I thought I could trust
In a fall away floor
So I stood still
And the trapdoor
Vanished 
From under my feet
Now me and the darkness 
Finally meet
In movements that reach
Across my bedroom floor
It’s not really
Less is more
More like a mystery
Than a conundrum 
The wonder is that I 
Can’t discover Him
Where he always was
Like light was put on pause
And the Saint I love
She talks about the distance 
Between the God of peace
And the rest of existence
So I know I’m not really
On my own
Then it bursts to life
In true colours shown
Like the whole world was pulsing
With this desire
And the heart of the matter
Was a burning fire
That gives rise to lit in the tree
Like Moses says God is talking to me
And the Divine has its own language
It speaks in tongues 
And I could translate them 
When I was young
Now all of the words 
Turn to a silent tone
Like the crackle of static 
On the other end of the phone

Sony In My System

.Reading time 1 minute.
The sound of defeat as he chooses another lady
And I dunno but I think that she hates me
For intruding on their sacred space
But he was a drug I loved to taste 
And the hit was high
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
Like it’s a final sort of end
Or worse maybe we’re still friends
And he could call me pal
But I’m not a second best sort of gal
I’d rather cut my losses and run
Find something else that shines the sun
And who knows, maybe it’s not a man
Maybe there’s no limit to what I can 
Do
It’s just not you
And I turn on the radio and it’s a Sony
Listening to that guy that’s lonely
And maybe I’ll meet him in Blue Note
Give him letters that he can quote
Like before
When he beat a path to my door
Only for me to fly
And the year the whole world threatened to die
In a storming cavalcade
Is it a fate we can evade 
Or is it an absolute rest
We get the day before the test

Somewhere Clandestine

.Reading time 2 minutes.
Stuck in ‘08
It was my date with fate
As it led me to your door
Did you want me more
More than I can attest
And we’re both fully dressed
But I feel your eyes rake over me
Like we’re naked with destiny
Just us and the come what may
And you fill up the gaps in what I cannot say
But it’s subterfuge and we’re resting in hiding
But there’s something of love that is all abiding
Now you’re sharing your soul with someone else
With skin so thin you could make a heart melt 
With the fire that burns off you
It seared a part of me too
And I can’t change the fact of you
I’m not the same and neither are you
But we both kinda are
Like the atoms forged in a star
Or the matter that make time and space
Bend the equivalent of the human race
To the tune of light refract
I never said no but I still want you back
Standing outside my window
It’s true there were days that I looked at him, though
And I cannot deny my feelings were real
With the depth of the red that he deal
An ace of hearts
And mine almost starts
To beat double time
He was the essence of fine
As he’d crack a smile in my direction
Like he’s open to cards if I make selection
And he lives just across the hall
And he kinda caught the ball
When I threw it at him
Is it a decision I cannot win
Coz I love them all 
The truth in my own freefall

All For You

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
She lies in bed
Coz she can’t get up
But it ain’t depression
It is love
And the dearth of a need
To move at all
What’s wrong, they say
But it’s a freefall
And there’s open air and space
The old guard gone without a trace
Coz I sigh
This is not goodbye
But a hello to a new realm
And they are all the same
With their witchy ways and locks
But he knows how to make the bed rock
With his sudden sigh
And am I wrong or is he a little shy
Around me
It confounds me
How they could eat up time
And rub a ring until it shine
Like a new pearl
I gave my heart
You gave me the world

The Obvious Within The Dream

.Reading time 2 minutes.
The pain is where the river flows
And I dunno, it’s like anything goes
As I grapple with the notion of sin
And all it was with him
Like forgiveness, unconditional 
So much more than ritual 
As I kneel before the altar
Bless myself with holy water 
And pray that it’s enough to say
I love you deeply in every way
Can you ever forgive my crime
And call yourself your almost mine
Coz I cannot cross the line in the sand
Just coz I want you to be my man
I cannot endeavor to futilely try
Because the truth is we all die
As I casually interrupt 
The story that you’re calling love
With my own flair of tigress’ brand
I’ve gotta admit I had it all planned
Every moment down to detail
Go shopping but avoid the retail
Therapy they buy and sell
To have a doctor say that I’m not well
And have a man stare in my eyes
In the land of empty tries
And I could hear screams in that place
Traumatized by all I laid waste
As I listened to somebody cry
Down the hall and I don’t know why
Could it be the vale of torment 
Or a place I almost went
As I lay the phone on the table
Get up if you think you’re able
But I cannot even manage a smile
Over the days I walked a mile
Back and forth to pace the floor
All criminals that I adore 
Suffering in a hall
Bounded by a door and wall
And they have to buzz you out and in
Only for Barry to flash a grin
Like all’s to hell in fabrication 
Another kind of education
In how to walk a tightrope line
If I did it at all I took my time
Steadying the beat of my heart
Trying to make pain into art
As someone, lying, contradicts
But her words are not stones and sticks 
To batter down a casual thought
Are you all that you have bought
Or do you just give way
Yield to the break of day
And find that there is somewhere peace
A moment when the noise cease
Only to point at the scream
The obvious within the dream 

Photo:https://pin.it/2IBlslX

The Foundation

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
A permanent doubt in the foundation
It cracked at the onset of my education 
And I dressed myself each day
But something had gone away
And I try to function and be strong
But all I wondered is where I went wrong
To be so fragile and weak
A sensitive I cannot speak 
As I try to hold it all together
But you cannot ignore the weather
As it blows in a storm
At least the heat keeps you warm


Photo: https://pin.it/6j6CcPh

A Meandering Escapade

.Reading time 3 minutes.
I know people are saying I’m highly strung
And there’s all these celebrities dying young
And there was a time 27 seemed old
Now it’s with the story that’s already been told
And I’ve got to pull myself up by my bootstraps
There’s no telling what’s running off these maps
And it was in a moment I just collapse
Like the fire of a synapse
As it blazes down an avenue
Into the room it just walks through
And strikes me like a light from above
It’s is a kind of redemptive love
And it burned away what I couldn’t see
So I could live the destiny
Right there on the classroom floor
As green as the grass I adore
And they say it might have just been a fit
An epileptic, nothing to do with
The glory of the sky
Just the taste of what it is to die
As I wake up a new girl in the air
It was as though He had answered prayer
And finally it was there
A wisp of wind that told me to care
And when I’m stuck behind walls I feel are lies
I remember how this always tries
To remind me of just what I am
And that everything is part of the plan
As we grow up into adult moves
Bodies that say what they need to prove
What they are at the shore
But I couldn’t have loved you more
And you look at me as though you suspect
That there might be trouble coming next
Because, God knows, your head is wrecked
And it’s everything that it affects
But I just bring the smoothest balm
To wait in the wings and stay calm
And show you what you mean to me
Now that the pain is history
And you are just a love I teach
I’m doing cartwheels on the beach
Now that I have your rapt attention
But there are days I dare not mention
When the tide went out and the water receded
It was as though you were all I needed
But I saw something in the sky
To reflect the blue of your eye
And how I know I’m not alone
When I hear your voice on the phone
And everything you mean to me
Comes flooding back like history
That you could mean the words you say
And that everything might be okay
As I finally give in to let the bay
Take care of me, come what may

Taking The Scene

.Reading time 1 minute.
She made a run for the dash
A finish line of I want cash
And it was as though I was the bank
No one there you gotta thank
And she drew from me the ebb and the flow
Til I conceded to let her go
And it was not without reservation
But I’m not tuned to that tv station
And really sad could be a description 
But it wasn’t I who forced the eviction 
As she moved my hand to sign the ink
The sign on the wall said “think”
And I fell apart in the ruins of us
It was as though I couldn’t trust
Even my step to hold firm
And I know there are things to learn
But you had me in close by the soul
Til you told me that you don’t roll
With the punches like I do
And I have to
Accept that you 
Are distancing and space in between
What was summer is now just a dream
I had at fifteen
I let you go and leave the scene



Photo: Chad Greiter on Unsplash.com

Furiously Searching For Some Thing I Can’t Name

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
I am the place I’m looking to get
And it’s just an illusion to say I’m not there yet
Coz I stand in my own pair of boots
Anchored like tree who has roots
Deep in the soil drawing up
Water and nutrients like they are love
And lead to me flourishing with leaves of green
Nothing isn’t all that it may seem
And I’m used like ink in the nib of a pen
I’ll just jot down, can I write it again
And Now comes to pass as always is
The magic is that I am His

One Moment For Granted

.Reading time 2 minutes.
We can’t take one moment for granted
Nothing’s guaranteed
Life ends in death
We rely on the blood we bleed
To keep the body going
I look out the window
And the sky is snowing
Everything lending itself to another
The rain is frozen
And I lost a brother
In the storm
The river flowed
I may have taken the less travelled road
But it wasn’t for the good of my health
And it sure as hell hasn’t given me wealth
Except an inner gratitude 
And a reliance on the dude
That runs the show
Is there something I should know
Or do I just apt predict
So worried that I make myself sick
And have to be revolved on medication
There’s no point lying about my tv station
And if I’m off them for long
I start to feel like I don’t belong
To even the human race at all
I drink it in at the waterfall
And run, simply run down the hall
Of the institution I became part of
Resident of guarded love
And I hate but I also care
Feel the torment start to tear
At the edifice I’ve built
I don’t know why but I wilt
Under the glare of a heavy sun
And I’m always looking for the one
Who might make my stars shine bright
But the blade became my kryptonite
As it etched in stone what my heart would write
Only to feel the pull of the tide
The breath that means I am alive
As I drag my body out of the morass
I waken up when I am in class
And revive to a certain degree
Ten years to know it’s not just me
Who feels this way
And there needs to be a conversation 
About what it means to stay
And guidance from the ground
About the people you always want around
Do you hear the triangle ping
I let go and give up everything

Free

.Reading time 1 minute.
I’ve got these pair of wings
Behind a heart that sings
And it spreads out to occupy 
There’s a part of me that will never die
Coz I’ve touched upon the infinite 
Is it alright
If I speak of the moment great
When I outgrew the hate
But just for an instant and then recede
I tell the people but they don’t believe
In what I gotta say
Is it okay
If I tell you a story new
Of a room and vibrant blue
And I found myself on the floor
Drew my first breath and I adore
The world I’ve been born into
And it’s always been you
I wanted to tell
Coz I know you’ve been through some sort of hell 
And you’ve been by my side for an eon
But there’s nothing we seem to agree on
But the war we wage
Could you understand if I wrote a page
In testament to what you are
You’re more than a burning star
Coz you will never go out
And I will give leave to my mouth
To speak what I gotta say
I love you, is that okay 


Photo Credit: https://pin.it/6Sh0cnx

Strong

.Reading time 1 minute.
Live strong
And let the beat hold the song
Up where there are no lies
From the mutant in disguise
And maya does it’s best to capture
But you have me in a state of rapture
Ringing bells from on high
And I am not afraid to die
Coz it’s just a veil that we pass through
Fr. P said that when we lost you
To a sudden and sharp
But we’re not alone in the dark
We’re held somewhere we can’t contemplate
And no one is locked out of that state
And I’ve been knocking on the door
But it was open and I adore
The freedom that has come to reign
Like I’ve been kissed by the pain
Til all that once held a stain
Washed away in sheets of rain
That just pour from the sky
The ground is nourished when clouds cry
So why should I fear my own tears
For it has been many years
In a silent solitary slumber
But the Divine is not going under
No matter how I bury my soul
Waves only know how to roll

Diesel Is Desire

.Reading time less than 1 minute.
Diesel is desire
And if there’s a spark it’ll catch fire
And explode
I didn’t know the less travelled road
Was a trail to blaze
Oh, all the cities I raze
To the ground
Just to hear the sound
Of tomorrow’s bells
Will we all burn in hell
As we make hell on earth
Poison the soil we call dirt
Then throw it at each other
Coz we can’t grow from it, brother

Like You Do

.Reading time 1 minute.
Photo by Burak The Weekender on Pexels.com
I envisioned the whole scene
It was like a fuckin dream 
Where I had the central role
And what's up for grabs is my soul 
As I ride the subway train
Or walk Kilglass in the rain
Somehow it's all the same 
I flash my metro card
And some guy helped me coz it was hard
To figure out as I traipse down the stairs
Wondering if anyone cares
And I know she does but she's got laws
It's winter and the summertime thaws
Out the vestibules of old sand
Pearls out of what was underhand
And I divide the spoils I've earned
But all my profit only burned
What was left of me
The remnants an effigy 
Of a spiral diagram I sketched
But the problem hit and I retched
And sought salvation in a clinic
It looks fine from the outside but once you're in it
You come to know that there are rules
That I can't ace like I did in school
So I sit in the music room
Abject to the sound of doom
Or wander down the hall
As the world explodes from it all
How do you say kunalini, one, two, three
But they don't listen to me

The Sway And I

.Reading time 1 minute.
He interjects and it’s circumspect 
Coz how could I attenuate
Any of this love with hate
And sure he’s a nice man
But he only listens when he thinks you can
Find a way to follow the line
He’s wasting my space like he’s wasting my time
And I’ve gotta grow up and be
The writer of a new destiny
Don’t have time for this pity lark
And as I’m walking through the park
I feel one with the grass
If this is psychosis I hope it last
Coz you’ve got a label
But you cannot see
Over the rim of your spectacle 
As you look at me
And maybe a kundalini and the crown
Might be the reason why I drown
In a sea of ocean vast
The emptiness and fullness pass
Til I’m all or nothing but down for this
And I’m in love with someone I only kiss
Through the bars of Orion
I don’t know, it just feels like flying 
Through somewhere where gravity
Obeys the rules of destiny
And let’s me lift off from where I am
I just walk without a plan
And It leads me where It’s going
I look outside and the Sun is snowing