The Generalised Anxiety

Something must be wrong
Because people are being nice
And things are going my way
And everything’s alright
And I’ve got this dread
That just sits in my gut
It’s like running thread
Where you place your foot
As you foretell the future
With a negative slant
They say anxiety
Is born from what you can’t
Bear to consider
As time is passing by
I try to catch the air
But it just seems to fly
Out from my fingers
Away from my grasp
Is there anything on earth
That was built to last
Coz everywhere I look
Somethings fading away
Even the sun
Has only billions of years to stay
And everything on earth
Though it grows and it’s green
Will one day disappear
Out of the realm of the seen
So I’m shaking as I’m taking
Each breath that I unknot
They say I’m seeing sideways
But I think that they forgot
That everything’s an ocean
When you feel you’ve got to swim
And if there is no storm
Then where do I begin
To tell the story of the tide
As it moves to the beat
I think I’m finding ground
Where I can stand my feet
And it’s making me nervous
To feel so damn good
I’m so used to being nervous
And lost in the wood
And if there’s any shelter
That I find inside
I’ll let you know the meaning
Of the daydream that I hide
I’ll let you know the shortcut
Back to where there’s peace
Where the winds have quieted down
To my own relief

The Social Anxiety

The feeling of panic when I’m talking to people
I’m much more at home under a steeple
Praying to God for all that could be
But I’m so far from normal and I think they can see
And is it just ego to say I’m afraid
That I spend the whole day in the shade
Just to avoid what I’m speaking of
I refract diamonds and call it love
And do I just make small what’s colossal inside
Run away from eyes and hide
Until someone finds me behind the curtain
I’m sorry for weakness and all the hurting
I’m sorry for being unusually proud
Defiant and brave as I say it out loud
That it’s okay and I see you too
I want everyone to know it so that they see through
The veneer of strong that I put off
We are one people and all is not lost
And everyone’s got something that they keep secret
But I’m gonna tell it instead of keep it
Like a story that’s been too long in the dark
A tree whose leaves are as bright as its bark
Even in the winter snow
I love a lot so I let it all go


Photo by Bernardo Artus on Unsplash.com

This Winter

The feeling of panic

Knarls in my stomach

Maybe this is too much to be

Maybe there’s so much yet to see

But the aching roars

And the spirit soars

To become an avalanche

Of my own making

And I count every one

Of the breaths I’m taking

In case I misplace one

Amidst the snow

The winter has gone on

For so long, you know