Category: New River

The Same Old Story

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I keep crying about how they locked me up 
They prescribed me pills and now my head is fucked 
And they said it was a remedy 
But isn’t that always the way with history 
You can say with hindsight 
That people are full of shite 
When they pulverise your bones
Just because they want to take you home 
And he was sitting there in his suit 
As I watch the world pollute 
His frame of reference
And my lack of deference
Only incites their barbarity 
And he said that that is not the treatment for me 
But I still fear the dread 
And I think about it as I lie in bed 
What have they done 
And if I really am the One
Shouldn’t I be able to get down from this cross
If I really am the captain then why is the ship lost 
To the dashings on the rocks 
And if it’s all people taking shots
And not listening to the truth I pour 
Or the man that I adore 
Somewhere far across the ocean 
In a chasm of emotion 
What am I doing this for 
If every foreign shore 
Is just a repeat of the same old sand 
And I see the underhand 
In all their dealings 
The criminalisation of feelings 
And the talk of non compliance
It is a form of violence 
Because why should I have to tic tac toe 
Just so I can be something you know 
Just so I can be terrain that you’ve mapped 
But I just feel like I’ve been knee capped 
And tortured by the powers that be
All because of mistaken identity 
And that dude said ambiguity 
But I am clear on what I’ll be
And there’s none of you that have a hold on me
Not ultimately 
Only in the scene 
I take a breath and wake the dream

Closing The Door On That Book

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I’m closing the door on that book 
The one where I mourn over the things you took 
Because the absence gave me truth 
And it may have been in the days of youth 
When I could have proclaimed
The sun is in every teardrop it rained 
And I cried my little heart out behind a wall 
And no one could tell I became a waterfall 
They just wondered where all the mist came from 
And just like that it was gone 
And a rainbow shines through like the sun
Split into its many hues
And I’ve been singing the blues 
Since someone close to me died 
And you looked surprised when you realised 
That I have cried 
Tears over those who are gone 
Like you could only hear the song 
And not the depths 
We’re out of step 
And sometimes I think of you and wish you well 
And wonder if you’re still jealous as hell 
Of everyone and everything you can’t control 
And how did you not know I wouldn’t accept the role 
You had foisted on me 
I don’t think you see 
Me for what I am 
And a boy offered me his hand 
And all I could see was what you had done to me 
And that he would be better off if he was free 
Of my burden 
So I give him my word, then 
Split 
And leave him with 
Nothing but the fairy dust 
As it sparkles in the palm that I trust 
And he thinks he’s a miscreant 
I know I should just rant 
And let it all out 
But there was a time when I trusted your mouth 
Until it stabbed me in the back 
But I took that knife and the slack 
And used it as rocket fuel 
It was less of a duel 
Than it was of a sacrifice 
And you think I am nice
But I’m not, I’m kind
But to myself also and so I leave you behind 
Back in the age of fourteen 
And it’s been nineteen years and the queen 
Has come to reign 
Over the lost kingdom again 
But this time not for me 
For all the beings I set free
From the war of the worlds 
All the suffering boys and girls 
Can find their home 
In me if I’m all alone 
And mystery 
The history
Of how I came to be this way 
Is hidden in what I do not say 
So look and read and hear the silence
I have given up the violence
That seems so endemic to the human condition 
At first you’re hurt then you’re ammunition 
And I learned from her 
How to forget what we were 
And let it be 
You might think that you see
All there is of me 
But I’m iceberg lettuce 
And it might be better if you just forget us

The Floorboard Creaks

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I kept quiet 
As my head became a riot 
Because I had promised you 
Secrecy as you poured your truth into 
My listening ear 
But then you evince a glistening tear 
As I’m shattered and grey
Because my grandmother has gone away 
And I stand just washing the dishes 
Thinking of our hugs and kisses 
And the whole window pane 
Breaks upon me like rain 
And school was my escape in a way 
But it became the place where people say 
Bad things about me 
Look away from my eyes and doubt me 
And even Doireann doesn’t know what to do 
When I’m in Room One fighting with you 
I was trying to prove a point 
But it just knocked your nose out of joint 
And I realise I can’t win this war 
So I abandon what it is for 
And leave you to that shore 
Of not knowing me anymore 
And you say it was the biggest mistake 
You ever made but when you wake 
Do you realise what you did to me 
When I had lost all I thought I could be 
And lie in the gutter 
Going over the words I heard you utter 
Under your breath 
And my biggest regret 
Is that I ever gave you the time of day
Because I sensed you were not okay
And needed a friend to talk to 
Now I just lose the weight of you 
In the mist and in the crossfire 
And when the straits became dire 
A light shone from a higher 
Window
It was Him though
The only words I had for the Absolute 
Was the Jesus that had taken root
Like a tree in my soul 
And your eyes may roll 
At my steady devotion 
But I show no emotion 
And lock it down 
Because you are not allowed in this town 
Not now, not anymore 
They say INFJ’s slam the door 
But it was more than that 
It was just the realisation that if she’s coming back 
It’s going to be as a changed human 
Because I am not ok with what you’re doing 
To the people within your reach 
And it’s not a lesson I am here to teach 
It’s just that I have to go 
And by the time you know 
I will be in Timbuktu 
Living a life far away from you 
And it’s not that I don’t still care 
It’s just I won’t let you dare 
To cross that line one more time 
I’ve no mind to become the scene of a crime 
And pulverise 
Underneath the heaviness of lies
That you tell like a scéal 
About me, well you can keep that tale
And anyone who will entertain 
What I sought to put through in vain 
It just became the rain 
But I am unwritten so you can’t keep my name 
In your book of words 
I left the ground like one of the birds 
To take flight into air 
If I’m gone maybe you’ll know I was there

Deviations From The Norm

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There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you

Taylor Swift
There are deviations from the norm
And some people said it was just bad form 
As she excommunicated me from the religion I love
Because I fit around that hand like a glove
And she told me I was too perfect and pristine
And it became a nightmare before I woke from the dream 
And found out what God really mean 
But I still bear the scar
From the mark made by what you are 
And I know you’re deeper and true 
And it’s just that the losing of you 
Did more for me than having you could do 
And I became spacious as the sky is blue 
As open and wide and as far as the eye can see 
When I lost the will to live out my destiny 
And fought to find a spark in the dark of night 
And no one thought to ask if I was alright 
Because I was the villain 
In your own personal film 
About how you were the victim of fate
And people love someone to hate 
And they gathered around my ghost
And I watched her lose what she loved the most
In this melee
And now I’m free 
Of all that gathers at the hem 
And you would do it to me again 
If I gave you the chance
So I took away the music that used to make you dance
To the sound of us 
Do you hear the quiet of broken trust 
And I lean on the two of the old brigade 
I close my eyes and pour it into Ciara and Sinéad 
Because I know they have my back 
And just because I feel that I lack 
What I was before 
Doesn’t mean there isn’t something to adore 
In the statue I’ve become 
There’s wisdom in the age you lose when you are young 
And I wish you the best of all that there is 
Because the rest of what I am is His 
In the sudden sun that dawned upon the glen 
And I close my eyes and whisper Amen 
To every prayer I’ve ever uttered 
I open my eyes like windows I had shuttered

The Stultifying

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The growth knows how to spell my name 
I’d decline if it was all the same 
And I could refuse the cup to drink 
But I didn’t have time to think
So I let them take me away
Because I had too much to say 
And I couldn’t get the words out 
It was as though it was someone else’s mouth
As it uttered itself from my lips 
I don’t know why everyone hates eclipse
For what it tried to be 
There is a frayed knot in history
That seems to repeat itself 
In trying to slowly melt 
The ice cap of true north
Some people feel that to abort
Their mission is the best plan 
But I don’t think I can 
As I’m called to a sea far away
And, God knows, I want to stay
But the movement comes to my door
And I can’t resist it anymore
As the man I love finds a wife
And I find a tarp worth of strife 
To keep me busy in the flow 
I don’t think the people know 
Exactly what they’re dealing with here
And the woman calls me “dear”
As she tries to reassure
Something that doubts its own pure
Unadulterated beauty
I felt it was my duty
To stare into the abyss
Because my first kiss
Was not with you 
I don’t know what to do 
As you jump leagues out of the sea
And turn to face me 
With those eyes
And an inadequate disguise 
I feel I must tip my hat 
To the camouflage that you’re at
But is it too long to say
That **whispers** “I still love you, okay”

The Arrogance Of The Superstate

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The arrogance of the superstate
To twist the lines that lay in wait
For something to be heard
And there is a bird
On the branch of the tree
I didn’t realise it was me
And I could fly away
Any day
I wanted to
So I turn and look at you
And wonder what you think
Can you fly after you’ve taken a drink?

The Darkness Of Her Dream

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The noise is deafening but something prevails
And every ship she sets sails 
On the ocean of no return 
But she fears the burn
Of incandescence 
And my luminescence 
Is painful to a point
I smile, it knocks her nose out of joint
In her perfect picture contain
She can’t stand the rain
That falls on the valley
And no alley 
Is safe with her around
But the sound
Of brutality wipes clean
The darkness of her dream

In The War

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They’re acting like the Germans in the war
Like they don’t know the reason the peace is for
And they’re bombing out homes and calling out cash
Doing things that they can’t take back 
And they call subhuman and subterrain
Because the girls and boys are at it again
In the silent moment of incandescent
They say the Red Cross but it is a Crescent
Shining bright over the sea
It is them but if it was up to me 
I would say enough, it’s no time for sin 
For we know what you did in the midnight
The reason the people fell and they had to fight
To retain what they could of their soul
Your government is not what makes you whole

Disturbed

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I want to be disturbed
By the little things in life
I don’t want to bury 
Myself in being a wife
To the stasis I marry
And in the lines they quote
Is a boat
I can find
On the sea of turbulence
But the ocean is deep
And so a dream
Only stirs to wake
And at the epicentre of the earthquake
You’ll find the crack in the lining
Tell me who you are defining
When you procure the rod 
That solidifies your hot bod
And I find my lullaby in the presence
Of something beyond the essence 
Of what you’ve come to know
I don’t need them to let me go
To be free
I guess the liberation is up to me

The Knot In The Stomach

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That knot in the stomach, the one that you fray 
And, you know, since you asked, I’m not doing okay
Coz something comes and separates
The good from the bad and calls it fate
And I’m left writhing in my own admission
Do I need the permission
To wake and then find
All that we left behind 
In the summer of almost prose
And that road
Seems to disappear into the undergrowth
And I quote 
The people who used to inspire
Me when I was seventeen and on fire

New Sturdy Blue Notebook!

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So, I’ve set up a Tik Tok where I’ll be sharing random stuff!! Here’s something I made today 😊

The Lost And Found

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The lost and found 
That I don’t want around
He siphons the air
Out from my lungs like there
Is no reason to breathe
Takes away what I so generously need 
And it’s all in the sky
Does his daughter know what it is to die
When it’s sucked from her
The pure genius of what she and I were
An eon ago
When love didn’t tread the path of going slow
Amid the forest and rain
And I would go back and rewrite it again
Just to see the stars 
Instead of malfeasance and prison bars
As they gaily exclaim
You are the place we lay all the blame
And she shudders and wilts
Folds like a man in a suit wearing stilts 
To the local bar
How did she know I was all heart
In the middle of seasons
And they all have their reasons
But they never amount
To what was proclaimed on the Mount
A sermon or two
Blinded by the Light of seeing You
In manifest form
His body is hot because he is warm 
And smiles like the sun
When was it I knew that you were the one
As you shattered shards
Like a deck of playing cards
On the table we kiss
You look at me and I wonder if you miss
My stellar heart
The one that is a work of art
Amid the chains and treason
Something to believe in
Has it lasted long
Are you weathered because you are strong
Or does the weakness show
In the part that will not let me go
As the sun rises
I wonder if it knows what the prize is

Keep That Dog From His Door

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Please keep that dog from his door
It visited me, now it is no more
As it crushed the carbon and coal
Into the diamond of my soul
Reborn into something new
Now I pray for each one of you
Who may have to face the dark
But in the night don’t forget the spark
That issues from your core
It clicks like a lighter til a furnace roar
Drowns out the blaze
I pray for the people the sun will save 
In the midst of ruin
I think God knows what He’s doing
But that doesn’t stop the doubt from rising
I see the ones who are barely surviving
And those who have crossed 
But everything is not lost
Even when you think it’s done
The human heart is precious, each and every one

The Fields We Know

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The dying of the light
Everything is gonna be alright 
Because the night
Only comes so that the dawn
Shows you what was never gone
And we are in a cyclical spin 
But I am always in love with Him
As, steadfast, He spans the dream
And I only know how to be a queen 
Unselfish unto the sky
And not afraid to die 
For what I Am 
Standing for what you cannot plan 
To come to be and sustain
The fields do not refuse rain

Pinprick

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She makes a pinprick to draw blood
Just to see if she could
To see if I’m still real
If I’m alive, if I feel
And it’ll heal
But I remember the shark in her eyes
When she met me that day in the car
So far away from where you are
Looking at your ship go out
Before I was submerged in my own self doubt
As it washes to shore
And I couldn’t have loved you more
But it wasn’t enough
Coz when times got tough
All the pencils failed me and broke
And I could feel my breath start to choke
On the words I spit out at you
Coz you don’t love me too
Or so they say or so she says
Coz she’s familiar with your ways
In real life
I’m just the wife
Who is too close to see
In her eyes that all he wants is me
Submerged in the subterranean wildflower bloom
And I’d know if he was in the room
Coz electricity flows from his pulse
I describe it and she revulse 
At the thought he could shock me awake
I gave it up for your sake

The Cracking Seam

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I don’t wanna be your whore
Like she did in the time before
And she’d buy anything you sell
Plies you with whiskey so you might tell
Her you love her so
But there are places you won’t go
Even for a trinket she’d offer
All you want is to suffer
Wholeheartedly
And rather smartly
You hold your hand out to me
We dance and it is free
And I wonder what it feels like to know she’s only there
Because you’re willing to pay your share
Of the coin
But you can’t solder what you want to join
Together in sweet surrender
I know you remember
Coz how could you forget
And it’s there for you yet
If you want to taste the apple that grows on the tree
You know you shouldn’t but you ask me
What it feels like to be
Still young and free
And I say it’s like sleeping outside your door
Waiting for the one you adore
To realise he loves you more
Than his story on the second floor

Not In A Month Of Sundays

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He offers me the chain
And I must exchange the key in vain
And tie myself to him
Bow my head and let him win
Always coz he’s a man
And he only ever can
Reign when he has a subject
To command
And underhand 
He slides the lock
But I am not
What I appear to be
And you won’t cage the beast
That rages in me
Though she’s very blue
When she’s estranged from you
And your wilderness gaze
There’s nothing in your eyes that faze
Me when you’re true
But you lie so much it’s like it isn’t you
And you postulate
And educate
I nod my head
And I can see the bed
Light dollar signs in your eyes
But the poor guy tries
And tries to gain 
What he already has and the rain
Sings its own symphony
Do you think you can change me?

Landscape

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She tells me I’m delusional 
To still love the thread that pull
Me from where I stood
And they say it’s in your blood
But the wood
I frequent whispers things to me
And it let me be 
Amid the chains a-binding
And there are avenues I’m finding 
Back to where we were
And you may still be with her
I just wouldn’t know 
But the knot is letting go
Into a landscape open and free
And you are standing there with me 


Photo Credit: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash.com

Autumn Leaves

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There was a girl who liked MCR
And I once wished I was her
In the blueprint match the architecture 
And I was cool but that’s just conjecture 
Of a different suppose 
And there are less travelled roads
So I took them to beat them to the punch
And I’m on my own just eating lunch
When Ruth and Christine
Find me and I wake the dream
Up from where it stood 
Robert Frost and an autumn wood
I find myself looking at leaves 
Colours and you wouldn’t believe 
What I did to keep the hue
From turning a deeper shade of blue 
But then Ken made his appearance 
I look around the clearance 
Around us as they all fall asleep 
Would you be something I could keep 
But he’s sighing into the wind 
And one of us must’ve sinned 
Coz we’ve been stalked
And the man just talked and talked 
Like silence knows no bounds
But my love is in the sounds 
Woven through the tapestry
Of all that we could be
In the midnight sky he makes
Does he hear the breath my love takes 
As I’m drinking him in
Will I ever see you again?


Photo Credit: Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash.com

The Red Haired Devil

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There’s something in me
That doesn’t want to see the light of day
I’m surrounded 
And they ask if I’m okay
And they offer pills
And they offer potions
Coz I can’t handle 
These emotions 
And I slap their hands away
But I know what they’re gonna say
“You’re just not well
And we know you’re going through hell
So take these, please”
And I crave a just release 
So I take their ardent pleas
Like Barry on his knees
Professing to that woman
And I felt like stunning
Them all with a declaration 
Of a lion school education
But they wouldn’t get it anyway 
So I draw on the wall, okay
And they didn’t paint it over til 
A year later and I will
See it out of the corner of my eye
And someone I love die
So I spiral out of control
Let the keening take my soul 
As I scream and rail
Against the part of me that’s not for sale
So I bite the bullet they hand to me
Shoot me like it’s done for free
And I’m paralysed by indecision
And I was always good at revision
So I study the lines
And I try not to touch ‘em a thousand times 
But I’m always met with the same reflection
In the window of my confession
In front of a nurse I love
He laughs and I look above
At the Heavenly Light
He emanated and, alright
It’s not the done thing
But I don’t want a ring
Just a way out
He smiles what I’m all about


Photo Credit: Omid Armin on Unsplash.com

Intimacy

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Is it futile to spill my words on paper
In the hope I’ll get famous
And you’ll see them later
And reconnect with me 
It’s been an age since I set you free
But you still mean so much and history
Lives in my soul
Somewhere you will not grow old
But I can’t be held by a line
But is it me who’s drawn it all this time
And I’d wink at you and smile
Do you wanna come with me for a while
Just a season or two
We’re making love 
Not making new 
Bodies to fill this earth
And be consumed by the hurt
That seems to issue from the core
But I just love you more 
With all the time that’s passed
Did you doubt this would last?

Is That Okay?

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I don’t know if we are what we were
But I know I would die for her
Or live for the heaven’s breath
In the season of no regret
As we give each other space
Or relive what’s gone without a trace
In our summer skin
Do I slip in a word of him
Though I’m sure she already knows
That when it comes to love, anything goes 
And it sure sings a pretty song
In all the ways we went wrong
While trying to go right
I still love you, alright?

What Can I Do?

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What can I do?
I ask God 
Because these children 
Don’t know nothing but the rod
That they’ve been struck with
And you can call me a bitch
But I must stand up for 
These people that I adore 
And the innocent always suffer the most
Watch love evaporate and the ghost
Of what I was seems to stalk my days
And they’re all ingenious power plays 
To strike the match
But she can’t get her back
And I know the pain
Of the rain
That flows from grief
And there’s rivers that run from her disbelief
That all could be taken
I pray that she will waken
Into the eternal
As the infernal 
Swirls around the land 
And the sand 
Won’t remember the love 
That once made it soil
Now the youth simply toil
In a land where the 50% 
Must live in a place where it all went
How could hell be heaven sent? 
If that’s your rationalisation
As the education
Just burns 
And somehow the world still turns 
Like it’s no big deal
And the saddest illusion is still real
In the minds of those
Whose feet must walk the roads
Now that they’ve been expelled 
But we just sigh and wish them well
With the buttons on our screen
I pray the peril isn’t all it may seem

The Horrendous Silence

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There’s silence on the Western Front
And it’s like the calm before the storm 
Because why are they not fighting back
I can feel the heat get warm
As the race that’s never run
Gets closer and closer to the sun 
And one day it’s gonna blow us to bits
Supernova before it quits
And I’m watching these scenes 
In retribution for their screams
Now the children slaughtered
And the people without water
As they drink the land dry
What must it be like to know you’re gonna die
At the hand of the powers that be
And people watch but do they see
When it’s a screen 
And the dream
Stirs and wakes
And the earth quakes 
Like rumbling thunder
But all the people who are lying under
The rubble
Are the one suffering from the trouble
That lives in all of our hearts
As the white can’t stain themselves dark 
To pretend they know what it’s like in the park
That contains 
The pains 
Of the oppressed
And they tell me; get up and get dressed
And put yourself together 
But somewhere in the heather
Is a hue I can’t feign
Please save the people from the rain

Kissing Sweet Men

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Kissing sweet men 
Makes me roll in the clouds
And the bedsheets speak your name 
As I place the blame 
On you for all you could not be 
But maybe the problem was me
As I took aim
When you said it’s just not the same 
And I cry out; why
And you say; we’re both gonna die
Someday
And it’s okay
I dry my eyes 
And we kiss in the middle of goodbyes 
That I can’t bear to countenance 
Do you think we could have one last dance
As you hold my hand in the street
And I think that the day we meet
Might be just passé
Who the hell is she anyway?
You sigh
And I can’t meet your eye 
In the winter wilderness snow
I just don’t know how to let you go
Into the arms of wife and child
And it’s so wild
That we came from nothing
To be the stars
And I realise why I was chasing cars
Coz your number plate spelled L-A-Z 
And suddenly 
You’re talking to me
Like a bolt outta the blue
I didn’t know I would lose my heart to you
Almost ten years later 
Why did you date her 
Right in front of my face
And, damn, all the time that we waste
Trying to put the jigsaw piece into place
And it’s nobody’s fault and everybody’s business
When you spilt the beans
I was watching when you posted Dreams

Meteor Strikes

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I’ve lived my life
By meteor strikes
And the fire burns
Then fades away
As it hits the earth
And I sashay
Down the aisle
Of a two point five
But is the family
Why I’m alive
Or do I decide
To dip in and out of love
As long as it fits like a glove
But when the weather gets warm
You take it off
You ask for fidelity
To pay the cost
You can’t afford
He gave me his heart
I gave him my word
To always remain
As his safety from pain
And when it rain
I show up again


Photo Credit: Juskteez Vu on Unsplash.com

Red Sky At Night (For You)

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Who is a writer
The one who picks up the pen
And gets inspired by men 
There was a guy called Daz
And I walked through a sea of lads
Just to meet his eye
In a place where love can never die
And they call me goofy and they call me a fool
And Americans call college school
But I met him in the hall
I ran the length of the wall
Just to whisper through the crevice
Do you wanna be an absolute menace 
With me
And free
Our blood pulses in our veins 
As we talk each others names
Casually, in conversation 
And the elation
Is not one sided we
Have made our own version history
Somewhere in the great unfold
You were my field of gold
When I laboured in the dark
And I have memories of Nutgrove park
Right by the church
Loving the way it hurt
Coz it meant that you got in
But you are the colour of him
When he breaks the sun across the sky
Something of us will never die
As red as a shepherd’s morning
I took it as a grave warning
To be on my guard
And when it got hard
I hid my loving part
From the work of art
That is your eye
When it’s locked into my lie
As it’s beating true
The heart in me was made for you




Photo Credit: Jason Blackett on Unsplash.com

Chasing Poems

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Chasing poems
Are you on your own
And could this reach out to you
I let me heart go out to the place where you
Stood still in the window 
And I pile on the sarcasm but still though
If everything’s in the present moment
Then you are mine and I own it
Like a race car I drive
When I pray that you’re still alive
Coz I’ve stopped staring at a screen
To tell me I could find my dream
In a man many miles away
I should’ve told you I want you to say
With me forevermore
And I only showed you the door
We all must walk through some day
Bodies are born to go away
But love stays true and real
I look at you like it’s no big deal

Legend

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We could be legends to each other
Did I just sell out my brother
To the wolves that pull
The pain out from where it hid so dull
And you always have that card
You hold over me and it’s so hard 
To breathe when you are around
And I love the sound
Of your cracking thunder light
The place where my love ignite
From just an intimate space
And I didn’t waste
Any time in getting close to you
Because you’re lovely, do you
Ever know that when you see your eyes
Flicker over the frame of a disguise
So thin and barely there
It doesn’t hold up in your stare
And we’ve been apart so long
I’ve forgotten what it was to sing that song
With you by my side
Did you need to hide
Your broken arrow true
I loved it just because it came from you

The Blue Oblique

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He has a heart vacancy
And there’s a light that goes on 
When a car leaves the place 
I loved for so long
And she’s not what she seems 
As she wields the magic
But somewhere in her eyes
There is something tragic
And I feel it ache my bones
When we are all alone
And I just wanna touch
The place she hurts and heal
What the boy who broke the wave to steal
The water from the gods
Found a woman who was the Lord
Of her own domain
We’re both standing in the rain
But it is good and free
And she means the world to me
With her jet black hair
And stare
As we young and twenty two
The city between me and you
Now all that has faded
As the look, it ages 
More than the picture crumbles
He finds her vest and fumbles
With the ties that bind
And he is on my mind
Most mornings in the afternoon
The presence light up the room
As cacophony becomes just another sound
He’s just a buddy I want around 
In the melee 
I think love could be more than setting you free

Monsters In The Making

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They are monsters in the making
And I wonder if they’re faking 
The lines they draw in the sand
Because someone somewhere takes a hand 
And promises someone love
But the same palm becomes a boxing glove
As it curls into a fist
And I missed the memo to the place where I exist
As something other than old defeat
I washed my hair at his feet
And he just sighed his heart
And I could hear him fall apart
In my peace
And I know what he wants to cease
But the trouble can’t sustain 
Itself in this rain
And if I had to I would do it again
Just to catch the tear from his eye
My love, there’s a Love that will never die 
And I move out of the place obscure
I know it’s pure
And precious and bold
But you have a heart of gold 
Hidden beneath the fray
My dear, are you okay
Under that weight
I want you to know that the hate
Isn’t all it seems to be
Trust in Him and trust in me

The Mountain In My Teacup

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There’s a mountain in my teacup
It tries to teach the law
But then the golden age
Undergoes the great thaw
And all the halting numbers 
Can’t fake the storm I see
There’s a reverberation
That says it’s up to me
To unfold and remake
What they mean when they say
They do it for your sake
But I just swish the warmth
Around as it leaves the dregs
Of my hit of high
And I let go the one who weds
The prince on the white horse
The one who bit back words
And spit them out with no remorse 
In the quaking of a silver sea
He’s grown to become a memory to me
As I stave myself off the ripeness in my blood
And how I talked to him in the wood
With the trees surround
And nothing but their kissing sound
Leaf to leaf and toe to toe 
She’s a monster coz she tells me to let you go

The Monster In My Dashboard

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The monster in my dashboard
Tries to gain control
He links up with strangers 
To roll and roll and roll
And he designated me queen
If he can be the king
But he’s looking for more
Than just a diamond ring 
To bequeath the forest
That’s growing in the night
But I will never be slave
To what his lust ignite 
As it tries to eat up
All that ever was
But I stay the same
I am myself because
I will always be the tree top
In whose mighty power
The sight of benumbed men
Fall aside and cower
And somewhere in the morning
I can be the sun
I’m sorry you were wrong
When you thought you were the One

Fightstar

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The fightstar shines above the land
But I can’t make the people understand 
What makes this clock tick
And I’m sick of putting up with
Less than stellar behaviour
They teach you that the saviour
Is mangled and broken
But risen from the dead
But what they don’t say
Is Now is eternal instead
And the body is witnessed
And the body is watched 
And there is something that knows
The ticking of the clock
That is not governed 
By the movement of hands 
I still love indie rock bands 
As they belt out a refrain
But it’s the same story again
And I will not let him in
Coz I know he just wants to win
And have me be something to conquer
But I am all childlike and wonder
And don’t sway in the wind that he blows
Though he’s out of breath from trying, God knows

Free

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Is being free more important than being with you
Because I’ve tried harder than I’ve wanted to
To make the pieces match
But it just chews up another batch
Of forested children 
Fleeing from the villain 
That stalks their dreams 
And if I could’ve met you on moonbeams 
I would’ve found what I wanted to
My love, it was only ever you

All The Doors I Close

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All the doors I close 
And the people I lose behind them, God knows 
And the first time I committed that crime
Was when a girl was way outta line
She stepped on my toes 
And got in my way, God knows
And the harder I fought my corner 
The more visceral the way she would forlorn ya
So I let the rope go slack
When she said “I don’t know want you back”
And instead of pleading my case
I set the dial to erase
And burned up the photo and memory
Of everything we used to be
All the laughter and the wit
For the sake of the pain and how she hit
It hard with sudden force 
And justifications and no remorse 
And I, so mild and meek
Would be the highlight of her week
Until I crossed her temper 
And the onslaught, I remember 
How she turned friends to foes
Whispers of things only she knows
Til that girl blanks me in the hall
And another puts up a wall
Where there used to be open hands 
And I’m a stranger in these lands
Because I’ve only ever known friends
But we will not make amends 
In this calamitous affair
You wonder do I care
And I do, more than you know
That’s why I’m letting you go
Because your pincers snap
And my map
Had not known this terrain
As I fight the worst of you in vain
And sometimes still
The picture of us never will
Live up to Reality
I’m better off without you and me

Oh Elaine

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Oh Elaine whose words of wisdom
Would you use them to forgive them
For me
You were always so eternity
As you encourage the best of me
To keep on with the fight
Like you’re the match and I ignite 
With every spark that fuse
Uses the road to confuse
Me with the skin I know
And I did not let you go
I just had to gain some ground 
So I could hear the sound
Of alone together 
And the weather
Brings me back to your door
I knock and ask if you love me more
For the absence that held
There was something that weld
You to me
In those years infinity
As we traversed the town
And there was no trace of a gown
As we blue jean the scene 
Like a Jane Eye and Lizzie dream
I have the blind hero and you
Are heir to a love most true
That beats in both our hearts
What is it that it imparts
I hope that equanimity 
Still holds the best of me
In the soul of you
It means so much to me that us two
Were what we are
I still drive the car
With the memory of you knocking on the window
To show me left from right though
And you do not let go
I love you always and I hope you know

Messy Little Snowflake

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Messy little snowflake having your child 
I used to be impetuous, I used to be wild
Now I just come to dock at the bay
And learn to say I love you anyway
And the youth of my generation
Are estimated to spend less time at the station
Getting on trains 
Or making bodies with bloodstains 
And there’s a hidden kind of invisible trauma 
When they encourage you but don’t inform ya
Of the onset of pain
Flowing from you like cyclical rain
To prepare the ground for the seed
And half of us will bleed 
Out what we’ve come to make 
You say you do it for my sake 
But do you know what you plant
When you call my words a rant
That aim to please 
Til I’m screaming on my knees 
As I fulfil my function
But we’ve come to a sort of junction
And you make a hard right
In the car and the night
Comes to envelop us both
And I know that you live to hope 
In what I offer but I
Am not willing to die 
To bring another soul on the scene 
That was somebody else’s dream 
Since I was eighteen 
I would rather reign as the queen 
Of my own domain
But I hear you ask again
For a match to spark a light
And you ask someone else, am I right
To be your two point five caretaker
And I know you didn’t make her 
But it still feels like force 
And you living without remorse
For your bullet pen 
But if I had a choice, I’d let you in again

Eyes For Miles

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I feel your pulsing strength
As I wonder where you went
And you told me the truth
You were the agenda, I was the proof
Of a summer as yet unseen
I met you as though in a dream
And you spilled words
It’s as though they went unheard
In the melee
I’m alone with him and he’s facing me
Across a table
Keep up with him, if you’re able
And he stuns my defence
With his beauty in the present tense 
And his hair so bleach
And I know he think to teach
And mansplain
But could you say you love me again
As you gloss over the facts
Offer me some openness you can’t take back
In the headway we make 
In the cake I refuse to bake
Just for the sake of it
And you are all wit
As we explore 
And I defy what you don’t want no more
In the winter time 
Did you see me shine 
When I called you in
And you remind me of him
That old love that soothes my soul
And you are a little old 
But still very fine
And I would call you mine
In the last dance
You gave me love, I gave you a chance 
To be all that you already are
Somebody somewhere named me after a star
And it burns for you
But do I know what I’m getting into
When I let you in
And I know you’re all about the win
As you tell me you studied law
And the great thaw
That’s been setting in 
Can’t help but do away with sin
And war
Do you know what this is for
If not to ignite 
You be the dark, I’ll be the light
That shines relentless 
I am the saviour, I am no temptress
To lead you astray
Anyway, you just get in your own way
As you try to claim
The meaning behind my name 
That is effortless serene
I came here to wake the dream

Smoke In Your Eyes

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There’s no point reasoning with them 
Because they cannot see sense
And the world is living in the present tense
Of rules and order
What is in a border
When you can’t cross it
And you can’t imagine the loss, it
Steals away the very heart
Of living, the breathing’s the taking part 
As I beg to stem the flow of tears
A heart breaking as we count the years
Like speckled eggs
I drain the cup and the dregs
Sit in my throat
Beware of who you choose to quote

The Blade Of Truth

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Following their trail
What is left when all words fail
As I sit in the comfort of my chair
Picture all the people that are not there
And what can I do
In my peace to transmit it to you
As the bombs drop
Am I the one who can say stop
Look what you do
And that other you kill, that other is you
In militant prose
I have walked many a road
But they all lead to self doubt
And a tendency to do without
When the chips were down
I keep seeing fire burning my town
As the rabble spreads
If you want to stay calm, listen to yourself
As the noise drowns out
The lip service paid to token mouths 
Who have their say
There is something of us they cannot take away
Though they try
And brothers and sisters are sentenced to die
By their own kin
Don’t you know that you are him
In another’s clothes
And God knows
We’ve seen it before
As it visits many a shore
We decry
Leaving it til it’s too late to try
And reason with them
History is cycling and it’s happening again
Another round of the wheel
The likes of which you should never deal
With at all
If it’s only me I’ll still answer the call

The Innocents

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I see the face of the innocent child
Burned into my heart so wild
And they both take sides
Take love and take lives 
From our hands 
And the sands 
Bear no trace of the sea
But if it was up to me
I’d reach over and grasp a hand
Though there’s no way I can understand 
What you’re going through
But you’re not alone, you
Have to hear my voice
Retribution is not a choice
That anyone should have to make
But the glass breaks as the ground shake 
Can the turmoil be stemmed 
Like the flow of blood from wounds again

Notoriety

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The pain, it burns 
As I feel the sharp pang of the earth as it turns
Burying more bodies in the dust
What happened to the broken trust
We used to have in crumpled paper
How do we survive, do we just hate her
For standing on her own
Now the game is thrown
And no one wins
That’s the thing with sins
They just extrapolate
And draw more people into that state
Where darkness is the king
And some kind of ring
Sounds out in the dark
No one should bear the mark
Of what has come to pass
It’s not enough to just ace the class
You must live the lesson
How can this become a blessing
To be shared with our brethren 
Please listen, we’ve got to help them

To Create A Space To Be

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To create a space to be
Are we rewriting history
When we say peace is what we want
But men in armoured cars still daunt
As you file past
And the tenuous ceasefire doesn’t last
As they arm their guns 
Equip fathers and sons 
To go to the scene 
And rescue people from the dream
Of hate and hurt
People pushed into the dirt
Of circumstance 
What happened to the heart that used to dance?
Is it all forsaken
And when we waken
Will it be to the sky
I’m still holding the reason why

Troubled Times

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I look into the mirror and can’t stand what I see
Who is this stranger looking back at me
With eyes as foreign as the ocean
With waves and waves of unkempt emotion
Now I turn on the tv screen 
It seems a nightmare is waking the dream
Up from where it stands 
Long live the reign of man 
As the boundary push 
Us beyond the evening rush
Into some sky
Where soldiers are as afraid to die
As the nearest foe
There’s a point beyond which we cannot go
Or we won’t come back
Don’t live in the realm of lack
And contribute 
To the people playing the flute
Of desperate pain
When the sky clears it cannot rain
But it will pelt
As long as the clouds refuse to melt
Under the barrage of storm
Remember the sun used to keep us warm
Now it just burns and heats the sea
I have no power but if it was me 
I would ask for an end to be put to the war
Here, there, everywhere for 
The sake of the child
Who grows up through the thick of the wild
Of brambles and thorns
No one asked for me to be born
But here I am
And if I can 
I will issue a note
So it will be something someone can quote
When I’m long gone
Does anyone know where we went wrong?

The Ribbons And The Dress

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Darling, be true, be true to me
Coz the ribbon you’re pullin is setting me free
And it’s as though the waves of you reach the shore
And I’m always hoping for a little bit more
Coz the rivers they play on the blue of the wall
I thought I was through it but I wasn’t at all
And the knives and valleys follow me round
But if a tree falls do you hear the sound
In a forest that is both deep and green
You make your way out like it is a scene
On a movie set and the script
Is one of adventure for which you’re equipped
And I may be strange and you may be weird
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone with the same kind of beard
But you just throw the light in magnificent shapes
And you’ve got the kind of wings with which I could escape
If you’d be willing to bear my weight
Like the tide go with all of the hate
And let the sea clear what’s never been known
Would you love my true colours if I let them be shown